AN: Now then, I must begin my saying I have heard somewhere that Rowling reckoned Sirius' birthday was in October or November, but for the stories sake its Febuary (Even tho he is such a scorpio in my stories! Lol.) Anyways, please enjoy this chapter and your reviews keep me going, thank you so much. :)

You are the clear blue sky, I'm floating so free, so high, Falling with grace, for you, am I, You give me the wings to fly. – The Wings, Gustavo Santaolalla (Brokeback Mountain Theme)

Christmas was a warm affair, Mrs Weasley got the children helping with the preparations and every so often the odd member of the Order would drop by. On Christmas Day they had just finished up with food when they received a visit from the Minister for Magic, he looked haggard and older than he had since they had last seen him, his face was grim as he asked Sirius to accompany him outside.

"Things are going badly with this custody claim, you're expected in court the day after boxing day." He said when they reached the garden. Sirius nodded. "You will be asked to watch, there's no giving an opinion, you being a minor and all."

"I understand." Sirius replied softly, he kicked at a gnome that had scurried out from behind a bush. "So, I'm going to end up in the hands of the Death Eaters..." He sighed.

"There's nothing the Ministry can do, boy."

"I know." Sirius smiled bitterly. "Merlin...I was better off in my own time."

"Hmm."

That evening Sirius sat on his bed reading by candle light, Harry was downstairs with the Weasley's but Sirius had feigned tiredness and gone up to bed first, hoping to be able to fake sleep when Harry came to bed. The book was one of muggle children's stories that Hermione had given him for Christmas after he had expressed his love of Fairy Tales. He was reading about a girl called Cinderella whose father had died and she had been left with her wicked step mother who forced her to do chores and act a slave, there were two evil step sisters who would laugh and poke fun at her. Sirius decided he liked this story, he could relate to the poor enslaved girl, bullied and subjected to horrible abuse all because she was beautiful and those around her were jealous. He frowned as he read wondering if his family had treated him badly because they had been jealous of him, then he chuckled at the thought, it would have been nice if that had been the case, but he had nothing for them to be jealous over. He continued to read, absorbed in the fantastical lands where every ending was happy and regretted that his life would not end happily, happy endings were for princesses with handsome men who could come rescue them from their plight, it was the stuff of dreams and childish innocence...he had no innocence left.

He turned a page and realised he was squinting as the candle had burned low, he blinked and yawned widely.

"You look exhausted."

The voice made Sirius jump and drop his book, it landed on the floor and Harry bent to pick it up, he read the title of the story and chuckled before setting the book to one side. Sirius flushed. "I like them...they make me happy." He muttered and drew his knees to his chest and looked up at Harry through his hair.

"I used to like fairy tales too..." Harry sat down on Sirius' bed. "I used to wish I had some kind of fairy godmother who would come to me one day and tell me I was actually a prince who had been kidnapped by an evil witch, she would tell me that my parents were searching for me and she would take me home to them..." He sighed and ran fingers through his messy hair. "Stupid, I know...but I was a kid with too much imagination and locked in a tiny cupboard most of my life." He smiled and Sirius couldn't help but return it.

"It's not stupid...I used to wish someone would come along and kill my whole family...your wish is much nicer." His smile went wonky and he giggled slightly. "I'm a guy and reading fairy tales..."

Harry joined his laughter but it soon trailed off and they were staring at each other intently, Sirius found himself drowning in those twin green pools as Harry leaned closer he tried to pull away. "W-Wait...Harry..." but when Harry's lips met his own he gave in too quickly, before he knew it he was kissing back. Harry pushed him back onto the camp bed and deepened the kiss, Sirius willingly parted his lips to accept the questioning tongue. He wrapped his arms tightly around Harry's neck and drew him closer, one of them groaned but neither could tell who made the noise. They were too involved in their kiss to notice that the door had opened, they didn't even hear the shocked splutter of noise. It wasn't until the door banged shut that they broke apart, Harry sat up going crimson as his eyes widened when they alighted on Ron.

The silence was horrible, Sirius covered his face with his arms and swore under his breath. Harry bit his lower lip, gazing at his best friend with wide eyes full of fear. Ron gaped at them both, unable to form a coherent sentence until finally he took a deep, shuddery breath and expelled it in a rush, his race was red and his ears even redder. "What in Merlin's name were you two doing? Are you drunk?"

"Ron...please, it's...it's complicated..." Harry muttered, his hand going to his head as he bowed it. "We didn't mean for you to find out..."

"So you weren't going to tell your best mate that you're...you're doing...stuff...with your father's freind? How long has this been happening! God! It's disgusting!" Ron's look of horror was only equalled by Harry's look of dismay. "You're both guys for starters, and he's...oh...oh...no...you weren't..." Ron shook his head rapidly. "Harry...were you and older Sirius...?"

"No!" Harry exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Don't be a prat Ron! I'm not that perverted! He was my Godfather...like a brother..."

Ron pulled a face as if he didn't believe Harry at all. "I saw the way he looked at you at Grimmauld place...I thought it was the light, it was so bloody dark in that place...but now...Harry, if he touched you..."

"Fucking hell Ron!" Harry snapped furiously, his eyes glittering behind his glasses. "He was more of a father figure to me then, why would we ever...he never touched me! He never saw me like that! I was fifteen and he was thirty six! What do you take me for?"

"I don't know anymore..." Ron looked at Sirius who had remained silent throughout the exchange. "You know my sister likes you." He spoke to Harry, though his eyes remained on Sirius. "Ginny's always liked you...since you rescued her from the Chamber of Secrets..." He looked back at Harry, his anger was palatable. "You'll break her heart."

Harry was silent for a moment before frowning again. "I never liked your sister, not in that way! Ginny's like my own little sister...like family! I don't want to hurt her but I can't see her in any other way."

"No, obviously not...never took you for a queer."

"I'm not..."

"Oh, so I imagined you snogging another bloke then, did I?" Ron snarled. "How many other times have you done it? And what about him..." He pointed at Sirius who had sat up and was gazing at Ron from cold silvery eyes. "How many people has he been...snogging? It's disgusting! You're both men!"

"I've only ever been interested in Sirius in that way!" Harry snapped, his fingers curling into fists. "I thought you of all people would be more open minded..."

"How is this acceptable? Harry, Wizards don't look too kindly on this...this kind of thing. It's simply not done...you'd just end up attracting more bad press..."

"I know." Sirius muttered, running fingers through his hair almost absently. "I'm sorry, It won't happen again. It's my fault...It's fine, we haven't done anything besides kiss so long as you don't tell anyone, nothing else will happen. I promise." He avoided Harry's gaze and looked directly into Ron's eyes.

Ron eyed him suspiciously for a moment before finally nodding. "A-Alright...just leave my mate alone."

"Of course, we wouldn't want Harry hurt." Sirius watched Ron climb into bed awkwardly, he refused to meet Harry's eyes, he didn't want to see the pain there, he didn't want to know he had hurt him. He curled up on his side as Ron blew out the candle and plunged them into darkness.

That night he dreamed of James at eleven years old building snow castles in Hogwarts grounds, but then the sky darkened as if some huge bird had blotted out the sun. He watched James look up in terror as the world was filled with green flames and Sirius' head was filled with James' screams, but he was frozen to the spot...he was only a snowman, he had no legs and couldn't help him. He could only watch James scream and burn...and as he turned to look into Sirius' eyes he realised that they weren't hazel after all...they were as green as emeralds.

The next day Sirius walked around the burrow and hid himself behind the chicken coop, he sank shakily to the floor as he fought the heart choking urge to scream. At breakfast he had had to endure Harry's pain, he had got the message clear enough and that awful, broken look in his eyes had sent Sirius running for the bathroom to throw up. He couldn't hold down any food, his hands shook almost constantly as he felt Harry's pain along with his own. He sat by the coop, hearing the chickens clucking sleepily from inside as he rocked back and forth slightly, forcing his tears away, but they fell down his cheeks anyway to splash into the half melted snow. He was left breathless as he tipped his head back and looked up at the cloudy sky, the snow had stopped falling but it was cold, icy cold. His cheeks burned along with his eyes, his throat was tight and his chest ached, he had never known pain like it...it made him want to hit something hard, it made him wish he didn't exist. He closed his eyes and wished for oblivion, but he had never heard anywhere that wishing yourself dead actually worked so he gave it up.

"There you are Sirius!"

He looked up to see Hermione trudging through the snow towards him, when she saw him wiping his eyes furiously on his sleeve she knelt beside him and handed him a hanky, he took it with a nod of thanks. "Ron told me what he saw." She said softly, settling herself at his side. "Harry hasn't spoken a word...Sirius, I know you don't want to hear this, but you did a good thing. To break it off now before it can go any further means that you'll both be able to get on with your lives. You might still be able to go back..."

"I don't want to." Sirius muttered, sniffing slightly as he followed some Gnome footprints through the snow with his eyes. "I never want to be apart from Harry...even if...even if I never touch him again...being away from him...it's like losing a part of myself and I can't live like that. If I can just be close enough to watch, to look after him I'll be happy."

"No...you won't." Hermione sighed. "To be close to him and watch him move on will be more painful than this, you know it will."

"I need to protect him...I need to make him happy! I want to see him smile Hermione! I love it when he smiles...it's like sunshine." He looked at her with wide eyes, his voice conveying his earnestness. "I don't care much about myself, so long as I have some reason for being alive...that's all I want. A reason for living and I know, I just know Harry's that reason! He's everything to me...and I swore, when he said he needed me, I swore I'd do anything for him! If he told me to throw myself in front of an Avada Kedavra I'd do it without hesitation for him...Hermione, I can't live without this. If that's taken away then...then I'll just shrivel up and fade away or go mad...whichever, it won't be pretty."

When Hermione looked at him she realised that he was right, Sirius needed someone to live for, he needed to know he was needed and wanted just like other people needed air to breath. His life would be made meaningless without that one person he could devote his entire being to, he was so loyal he would rip off his own hand rather than see that person hurt or sad...and now he had been forced to hurt Harry and he was ripping himself to shreds inside. But then she knew that wasn't healthy, she knew that was far from love as she thought of it, Love was supposed to be innocent and pure and full of affection, what Sirius had was darker, stronger and much more intense...but was it any less real? She bit her bottom lip before sighing. "Alright." She said, standing and dusting her clothes off. "Let's see if we can't fix this."

Sirius gazed at her proffered hand as if it was covered in eyes, but he finally took it and stood. His smile was shaky but it was still a smile.

They found Harry sitting by the window and gazing out across the countryside, Ron was chatting away oblivious to his friends melancholy, when the door opened and Sirius and Hermione walked in Ron's eyes narrowed but he held his tongue. "I think Sirius and Harry need to talk, Ron, come with me into the garden." She dragged a protesting Ron away and closed the door behind her.

There was silence as Harry avoided Sirius' eyes, he couldn't look at him without feeling angry and hurt. He had no idea what to say or what he should be feeling, his emotions were confused. He also had no idea where he stood with Sirius anymore.

Finally the silence became too much and Sirius spoke. "I'm sorry." He said, his eyes burning into the back of Harry's head as he willed him to turn around and look at him so he could perhaps gain some kind of hint as to what the other was thinking.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For telling Ron what I did...I shouldn't have said anything. Harry...I..." He bit his lower lip and stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Harry interrupted him. "What are we?" He asked quietly, scrunching himself up in a ball with his knees against his chest. "To each other? Would we be called a couple or...what?"

Sirius moved closer. "I don't know...I've never thought about anything like that. You make me stupid." He said it quickly and Harry turned with a raised eyebrow and a barely suppressed smile.

"I make you what?"

"You make me stupid, Prongslet." Sirius said, smiling slightly as he leaned closer. "I'm a naturally reckless person, but when I'm with you I want to make you happy at any cost...I like your smile. It's...it's not like James'...James' smile has always been slightly sadistic, but yours is so...so innocent and I like that much better."

Harry's smile suddenly broke free as he giggled. "You are a prat, Sirius."

He shrugged and ran fingers through his hair. "So everyone keeps telling me, but I never take any notice, if you want I could change..." He moved even closer and put a hand on Harry's leg and gazing at him with those big silver eyes, eyes that were almost too child-like. "I would do it you know, for you. No one else would make me change...not even James...But you, I'd become a totally different person if you wanted. Tell me what you want, Harry and I'll do it. I'll walk to the ends of the earth and bring you back a jewel encrusted dragon egg! Just name it and I'll do it." He watched for Harry's reaction with eager eyes, and when Harry shook his head his face fell slightly until Harry closed the gap between them and kissed him.

"I don't want anything from you Sirius..." He said softly, pressing his forehead to Sirius'. "I want you to be yourself, to be happy...I like your smile too."

Something flickered behind Sirius' eyes, he gazed at Harry as if seeing him for the first time. "You're not James..." He gasped suddenly, his hands shook slightly. "You're not James at all...You're...You're Harry..." Suddenly a smile spread across his face, it was a beautiful thing devoid of his usual cunning and mischievous humour, it was the smile of a boy. His eyes sparkled and before either of them could think they were kissing, their tongues tangling and soft groans emanating from them both. The kiss was different, it was filled with more emotion and Sirius was smiling as they kissed, the smile that refused to leave his face. "Fucking hell I've been so stupid!" Sirius gasped as Harry slipped from the window and pushed him roughly to the bed. "So...so stupid..." He whispered Harry's name between kisses, fumbling with his clothes as he slipped Harry's jumper over his head. "It's you...it's been you since the...mm...moment I saw you..."

"What are you talking about?" Harry had stopped kissing Sirius long enough to stare at him as if he'd gone insane.

Sirius grinned. "I thought that I was confusing you with your father, I thought that I was only falling for you because of your father...but that's wrong. James is turning into you...in my head...I-I think I..."

Harry cut him off with a kiss. "Don't care..." He whispered, nipping at his lip as he struggled to remove Sirius' jeans. "Want...you...naked..." He punctuated each word with a kiss and Sirius obliged. Harry had no need to hear what Sirius was going to say, because he knew that look, he knew already...because he felt exactly the same.

The bed creaked beneath them as they moved together, their fingers were entwined and their bodies pressed so close it was difficult to know where one began and the other ended. Sirius gazed up into Harry's green eyes and let himself drown in them, all thoughts of court cases and guardianship forgotten in favour of a desperate clawing passion that made him want nothing more than to give Harry the world, his world. Harry was so gentle, his fingers brushing his skin his eyes burning almost too brightly in the gloom. Sirius tried to be quiet but when Harry moved his hips he had to cover his own mouth with his hand as he threw his head back into the pillow, Harry covered his mouth with his own and kissed him deeply. They swallowed each other's moans, they sank themselves into sensation until all they could see was each other.

Later they lay beside each other, Sirius resting his head on Harry's chest as he fought off a deep, satisfied sleep.