AN: Ugh...a little bit more slushy romance, just so I don't overdo the angst...it IS supposed to be an Angsty Romance after all...*Sigh* Anways, the lyrics below are from a song actually featured in HP and the Deathly Hallows, I LOVE that song and it's so appropriate! :) I hope you are still enjoying my story and I hope it's making you happy to read! (It also has lots of mild man-sex...which of course, I would hope you all love! Oh and FYI, if you care, I actually live in Wiltshire... :D)

He's found the answer that we lost
We're all weeping now, weeping because
There ain't nothing we can do to protect you – Nick Cave, 'O' Children'

New Year found Sirius standing by the window of his bedroom, which was luxurious but still a prison. He was only allowed to leave when he was with a member of the house, at all other times he was sealed in the room with magic and his wand had been taken from him. He was helpless. He leaned against the casement and gazed out across the Wiltshire countryside wandering if Harry was alright, he wanted to see him, he wanted it so desperately he was haunted by Harry's smile at night. Draco had been following him around, he had that constant annoying smirk on his lips that made Sirius want to punch it right off his smug little ferret face.

The room could only be described as opulent, the four poster bed was draped with beautiful hangings of rich silks in the Slytherin colours, there was an ornate desk with parchment, quill and ink upon it, but he wasn't allowed to contact anyone so he rarely used it. The floors were dark stained wood and covered in great big rich Turkish rugs, he only had a single narrow window but it gave him a view of the surrounding countryside and he liked to perch before it and stare at it to give himself a false sense of freedom.

He had been given the house rules, too many of them for him to bother to remember, he managed, somehow, to keep hold of his mask and hide his true fear behind it. So far he had little to do with any other member of the house, except for Bella, she had taken to coming to visit him and taunting him about his imprisonment.

"Aw, is our ikle Siwi missing his fweinds?"

Sirius didn't even bother to look at her, he sighed as he leaned against the window casement.

"It's rude to ignore people, Sirius." Bella moved across the room and stood behind him, he felt her long fingers plucking at his hair. "I've always liked your hair long..." She said absently. "It makes you look like Auntie Walburga..."

"Don't." Sirius shrugged her off irritably. "I don't need reminding that I look like...like her."

"Does it shame you?"

"Of course it does, she was mad." Sirius felt her fingers dig into his shoulders, her breath tickled his cheek when she chuckled.

"Mad? You were the mad one, defying your own blood to moon after a boy who never loved you..."

"What does it matter to you? You've never liked me...why would you care?"

"Oh, Siri, you wound me!" her laugh sent shudders down his spine and he gritted his teeth. "Of course I care, we're family aren't we?"

"Stop it! You're a serpent...just like Him!" He struggled free and stepped away from her. "You have never been my family! My only family were the Potters and they're dead! They're all dead! Even...even Reg..."

Bella waved a dismissive hand. "Reg was practically worthless, you were always the stronger one, why do you think I chose you to help me hone my skills? You are talented and the Dark Lord needs talent."

"Then he can go find it elsewhere...you know me, Bella, I won't join him."

Bellatrix merely smiled and left him alone again to brood on his predicament.

XXXHPSBXXXHPSBXXX

They returned to Hogwarts after the holidays had ended and when they reached Gryffindor Tower Harry gazed around despondently at the Common Room, he knew Sirius had been placed in Slytherin house but half of him had hoped that Dumbledore had been able to change that, it seemed he hadn't. After half an hour of sitting and gazing into the fire he went to bed and curled up beneath his blankets, as he closed his eyes he wished that Sirius was beside him, his warmth and scent had comforted him somehow, made him feel less alone, but now everything was dark and cold.

At breakfast he searched the hall and found Sirius sitting beside Draco Malfoy who looked so smug Harry felt anger boil his insides, but looking at Sirius made his heart ache. The boy looked up from his food and the smile he gave Harry was brilliant until Malfoy nudged him and whispered something in his ear, Sirius' face fell and he glared at the blond furiously. Hermione tugged gently on Harry's sleeve and they sat down at Gryffindor table, he wasn't in the mood to eat so he simply pushed his food across the plate.

Their first lesson was Defence and so Harry followed his friends out the Hall and towards the Marble Staircase, he felt something grab the back of his robes and he was yanked off his feet and out of the press of students, he found himself pinned against the wall by Sirius who was staring at him with wide eyes. "Harry!" He gasped, he scanned his face intently as if trying to memorise every last little detail. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine...I'm more concerned about you...are they treating you alright? You're not hurt are you?"

Sirius's smile was as brilliant as the sun as he pulled Harry into a small cupboard where they were hidden from prying eyes, he grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, pressing their lips together as his fingers gripped handfuls of Harry's hair. "I missed you...so much." He whispered when he pulled away.

"I missed you as well...but you still haven't answered my question!" Harry held him off so Sirius couldn't kiss him again and make him forget what he was saying.

Sirius' face fell slightly but he smoothed Harry's fringe from his face gently. "So far all I've had is a black eye...and a few bruises. They can beat me up all they want to, I'm used to it...but being apart from you is like...it's worse than having to listen to Bella list all the things she wants to do to Mud-muggleborn's..."

Harry frowned but before he could comment on Sirius' slip of the tongue, that very appendage was shoved into his mouth and he forgot everything and let himself be swept away. They kissed for as long as they could until Sirius released him and stepped away, his tie was lose and Harry hated seeing the silver and green around his neck, but Sirius' smile was so sweet he didn't say anything. "We'll be late for dear old Snivellus, come on..." He moved awkwardly around the mops and buckets before pushing open the door and Harry followed him.

When they reached the classroom they were just in time to see Snape open the door, his cold gaze lingered on Sirius and he sneered. "Tidy yourself up Black, I will not have anyone from my house looking like a filthy street urchin!"

Sirius smiled. "Go fuck yourself Snivelly." He said softly and walked past the shocked teacher. Harry's eyes widened and Hermione let slip a small gasp, Ron sniggered but Snape was slowly turning that horrible splotchy red as fury made his black eyes glisten.

"Black!" He said softly as he followed his student into the room and stood above him, Sirius was unpacking his bag but he stopped when he realised Snape was there.

"Yes sir?" He said innocently.

"How dare you speak to me like that! I am your teacher!"

"Hmm...I don't seem to recall you teaching me anything sir, so far we've only covered stuff I already know how to do. Until such time as you decide to teach, I will perhaps treat you like a teacher." He smiled blandly at Snape who looked as if he was about to scream, but instead he planted his hands firmly on Sirius' desk and leaned over him.

"One more insult from you and you will be in detention for the rest of the school year, do you understand me?"

Sirius shrugged. "Ok."

"Ok, what, Black?"

"Ok, sir."

"Apologise."

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir, I'm ever so sorry I hurt your feelings sir." He said in a monotone.

Snape hissed softly. "You will regret this." He muttered and stalked to the front of the room and leaving Sirius looking satisfied. "Now today I wish to see how well you duel, for this we have reserved the Great Hall, follow me."

They followed Snape down into the Great Hall which had been cleared of the house tables, the students lined up before him clutching their wands and gazing around nervously, their last bout of duelling practice hadn't gone so well. Harry watched Snape walk up and down the line of students before finally halting. "I expect you all to be at least capable of producing a shield charm without speech, but I suspect I am going to be severely disappointed...now, into pairs."

Harry looked for Sirius but before he could pair himself off with him Snape placed Sirius with Draco, Harry shot the smug blond a glare before standing beside Ron. One by one each pair was asked to stand at opposite ends of a low platform and duel in silence, it was an unmitigated disaster involving much cheating and swearing on both parts. Snape finally called up Sirius and Malfoy, the hall fell silent and Harry watched as Sirius bowed, Malfoy gave him a perfunctory nod of the head before they took their stances.

"Begin!" Snape's voice echoed around the hall and silence fell.

Sirius narrowed his eyes before he saw Draco move, a tiny smirk crossed his face and with a strike faster than a snake his curse met Draco's in the middle of the air. As Harry watched the air seemed to become heavy, Sirius seemed to be dancing, his wand was an extension of his arm and he moved so quickly it was hard to follow the movement with his eye, Draco was being forced backwards beneath a rain of coloured sparks, suddenly Sirius twisted, already a smile of victory on his face as he whirled and flourished his wand. Draco's eyes widened but before he could speak the counter curse he was blasted off his feet and hit the dais where the teachers table normally resided.

There was silence in the hall until Snape moved over and crouched beside Draco. "Unconscious..." He muttered, "Crabbe, take him to Madam Pomfrey." He snapped.

Sirius smiled to himself as he stepped down off the platform. "And that is how it's done." He grinned at Harry who was badly suppressing his own smile.

"Black!"

Sirius turned to a fuming Snape. "Yes sir? Is there a problem?"

"Those spells you were using...they were far beyond the knowledge of most seventh years, let alone a sixth, what were you thinking? You could have killed him."

"But I didn't, did I? I was holding back...he's fine, just a bit concussed." He shrugged. "You wanted to show us how to duel, in the real world they aim to kill, so should we."

"This is a teaching environment, Black, there will be no killing here."

Sirius chuckled darkly and pushed hair back from his face, "I wouldn't count on that, Snivellus." He gave Snape a strange, knowing smile. "You can't put me in detention for doing what I was told, sir. You really should give Draco some better lessons, I really don't think he knows half as much as he should."

When Snape had given them all an icy dismissal Sirius waited for Harry by the front doors, when he saw Harry running towards him he grinned. "Enjoy my demonstration? I've been wanting to do that for ages!"

"Sirius, that was dangerous..." Harry muttered, taking Sirius by the elbow and drawing him to the side so they had a private corner to talk in. "You could have really hurt him!"

"Even if I had he would deserve it, and you know it." Sirius replied defensively, his eyes going slightly colder and a small pout appearing on his face. "He's a slimy git."

"I know, but...I don't like it..."

"What, that I knocked him out? Come on, he deserves so much worse."

"Not that...I just don't like the fact that you...you seem different."

"How?" Sirius raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Colder...what are they doing to you in that place?"

"Nothing yet, I just..." He looked away and hugged himself slightly as a frown of worry creased his brows. "I just hate being back with them...It's like I've been zapped back in time to Grimmauld place and I...I hate it. I don't like being told what to do, or treated like a house-elf...But I don't have a choice." He lifted his hand and touched Harry's, their fingers entwined and Sirius leaned back against the wall, pulling Harry with him so they were close. "I can't stop thinking about you..." He whispered as he fiddled with Harry's shirt. He leaned closer so his lips brushed Harry's ear. "Let's find somewhere private..." He breathed.

The privacy they found ended up being an unused toilet, they stumbled into a cubicle with their mouths locked and Sirius' fingers gripping handfuls of Harry's robes as he pulled them off his shoulders. Their hands were frantic as Harry scrambled clumsily with Sirius' belt and trousers, when they were finally around his knees he turned him around and pushed him roughly onto all fours.

It was rough and desperate, but Harry could not imagine anything more perfect. Thought didn't enter into their hormone drowned minds, they were driven by ravening lust. Sirius was in pain but he ignored it, it was a good pain, the kind of pain that let him know he was alive and wanted, even the bruises Harry's fingers left on his hips would be a nice reminder that he didn't have to suffer all the time, that somewhere someone actually needed him as much as he needed them.

It didn't last very long, but to Sirius it felt like forever as he bit his lip feeling his orgasm approach like a rocket, he lowered his head and let it wash over him, a great wave of intensity that made him have to bite down on his own arm to stop any noise from escaping.

Afterwards they pulled up their trousers and resettled their robes before sitting beside each other and kissing for a while, it was utter bliss and Sirius was smiling as they left the bathroom after cleaning themselves up. Harry smirked back when Ron and Hermione found them later and they made their way to Potions.

After dinner Sirius managed to shake off Draco and he ran off after Harry who he had seen going up the marble staircase, he grabbed him and pulled him away from his friends by the hand. They found an empty classroom and began kissing furiously, Sirius felt his chest ache as Harry pushed him against the teachers desk, Harry's tongue was fire and his hands were desperate as they sought contact with his own. Finally they drew away and Sirius sighed happily, nuzzling the side of Harry's neck gently. "Mm..." He hummed. "Meet me later tonight by the front doors, let's spend the night in the shack...just you, me, and a blanket..."

"I can't say no to you..." Harry replied as Sirius pushed his head beneath his chin in much the same way a puppy would greet a litter mate. "But what if we're caught?"

"We won't be...You've got the map and the invisibility cloak...come on, I can't stand to spend another night in that stinking dungeon they call a dormitory..." He slipped his fingers between Harry's and began nipping at his ear. "It's cold down there...and everything's green...it's horrible."

"Sirius...we'll be caught! This is stupid..."

"No, what's stupid is me having to spend all that time under Mini-foy's pointed ferret face...What's stupid is having to regret every second I'm away from you...what's stupid, Mr. Prongslet, is having to put up with all the filthy things my imagination conjures up during a particularly boring lesson..."

Harry giggled and kissed Sirius slowly. "Alright...just for tonight, we'll break some rules."

"Oh we'll be doing a lot more than breaking the rules." Sirius drew away with a smile that made Harry shiver pleasantly. "I'll see you tonight then."

Harry was distracted for the rest of the evening, yet each time Hermione tried to get him to tell her what was wrong he simply smiled and shook his head. He was unable to concentrate on his homework and so spent most of his time gazing into the fire and thinking about what he and Sirius would be doing in a few hours time.

Sirius watched the Giant Squid swim lazily past the window and felt a small smile on his lips even as he was forced to listen to Malfoy talk about something irrelevant, he smiled as he rested his chin on his hand and gazed out into the deep waters of the Lake. His head was so full of Harry that he didn't even notice that Malfoy was trying to get his attention until he felt something tug painfully at his hair. "Ow!" He winced and pulled himself free of those fingers, turning to glare at Draco.

"I was talking to you and you were just staring off with a stupid smile on your face!" He snapped.

"Oh well, I do apologise Lord Malfoy!" Sirius replied, his voice dripping sarcasm.

"Listen to me when I speak Black or I will make sure you regret it."

Sirius sneered and got to his feet. "Yeah, right. You are incapable of doing any damage to me, Malfoy, I think I demonstrated just how much more powerful I am than you earlier."

"Where are you going?"

"Out." Sirius shook his hair back from his face as he walked away, ignoring Draco's furious calls for him to come back and apologise. He swept a cloak over his shoulders and stepped out into the torch lit corridor, carefully he crept up the steps to the Entrance Hall.

When he reached the heavy doors leading outside he waited until he felt hands cover his eyes and smiled. A hot whisper caressed his ear; "Guess who?"

"Harry..." He muttered and turned around to find himself gazing into warm green eyes.

"Come on then." Harry threw the invisibility cloak over them both and they ran down the steps and out into the cold air.

The shack was creaking around them, the only noises were their soft giggles and gentle whispers. Sirius and Harry had managed to clean the bed as best they could and now lay curled up on their sides, they were talking softly and laughing, the outside world no longer mattered and not even Voldemort could disturb their peace. Sirius held Harry's hand and gazed into his eyes, he had never in all his short life, been so happy, he could hardly keep from smiling even as he buried his face in Harry's neck and breathed deeply.

"What did you want to do with your future?" Harry asked softly as moonlight splashed across the bed from the window and dust swirled around them, it had settled in Sirius' hair but he was still as handsome as ever and Harry could still not understand what Sirius saw in him.

"I wanted to be the first Wizard to visit the moon..." He said and chuckled at Harry's raised eyebrow. "It's true, I used to talk about it all the time to Uncle Alphard, he would sit with me in his lap and help me plan my trip and everything. I remember once when I was five I tried to run away, all I took with me was a sack full of broken toys..." He laughed at the memory, he had his eyes closed and Harry admired his face, his prominent cheek bones, the gentle slant of his perfectly straight nose and the way his thick eyelashes rested on his cheeks. "Well, they hadn't been broken when I first got them, my Uncle gave them to me for my birthday but my mother went and smashed them all, telling me that no son of hers was going to play with such silly things. So, I decided to run away and take the toys to a toymaker who could fix it...of course I got thoroughly lost and it wasn't until I managed to set fire to a Muggle's trousers with uncontrolled magic that they found me...I had hoped I'd be able to get to the moon too, but my mother soon dashed those hopes by telling me that only Muggle's had been to the moon in tiny ships and they died up there. She told me that all I would see were their bloated bodies floating around space..." He sighed heavily and opened his eyes to reveal that brilliant silver. "After that I decided that perhaps the moon was better left alone."

Harry kissed his nose and watched him wrinkle it, he chuckled and pulled him closer with a sigh. "So, what did you want to be when you left school? I mean, like a job?"

Sirius snorted derisively. "Harry James Potter, anyone would think we had never met! I'm rich, remember? I don't have to do anything at all. But as for ambition..." He paused and gazed up at the sagging canopy above their heads. "I'd like a motorbike...you know one of those muggle monstrosities that roar? They're beautiful! All silver metal and black leather and they make that amazing noise." His eyes glittered as he talked and Harry listened in contentment. "It would absolutely kill my mother if she realised I got one of those! I'd ride it up and down the street all night and drive her more insane than she already is! And then, when she came out to shout at me I'd drive it straight at her!" He grinned as he imagined her face. "Ah, but it's all dreams, isn't it? I'll never get a bike...I've always wanted to see if I could make one fly...like a broom but more comfortable for long distance..."

"You do though..." Harry said, running his fingers through Sirius' hair. "You get a bike and you somehow make it fly, against Ministry regulations, of course."

"Really? Wow..." Sirius grinned and kissed Harry. "At least I know I achieved that much, even if I did end up wasting my life fighting a pointless war."

"But that war wasn't pointless..." Harry sat up, frowning at Sirius.

"It was and you know it, look where it got us! Your dad dead, me ruined and locked up for twelve years, Remus grief stricken and you..." He reached up and touched Harry's scar, running his finger across it tenderly. "You hurt worst of all...and in the end the Dark Lord didn't die...he just faded." He sighed and let his hand fall to his side. "So, don't tell me it wasn't pointless...if James had never started fighting and just bloody well settled down I doubt I would have had to join him, if he had just grown some sense in his thick head and raised his family without poking the lion by proving that he was too powerful for Voldemort to kill, then none of it would have happened."

"If none of it had happened I wouldn't be here." Harry said with a small smile. "The prophecy remember? Voldemort would have hunted my father down anyway..."

"But he wouldn't have known who James was if he had kept his nose out!" Sirius brushed his knuckles along Harry's cheek. "If..."

"It doesn't matter now though, Sirius...what's done is done, we can't change that...but even if we could can you really say that you wouldn't have got involved?"

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, I spose I am a glutton for punishment..."

"You are..." Harry smiled as he leaned down and captured Sirius' lips in a kiss, he groaned softly and pulled away slightly.

Sirius pulled Harry down on top of him and deepened the kiss. He felt Harry's hand slide down his bare chest and come to rest against his abdomen, he pulled away with a sigh and grabbed Harry's wrist, slowly moving his hand further down until he was right where he needed him most. He let out a soft breath and his eyes fell half closed as he felt Harry's touch, his lips curled into a small smile and he moved his hips slowly. "Harry..." he whispered and they were kissing again, soft, wet, open mouthed kisses that tasted like mint from their toothpaste.