Buffy

Buffy stayed sitting on her bed for over an hour somewhat comatose, trying to make sense of everything Faith had told her. She recounted all of Faith's words. Matching up what she was saying with her energy, understanding that things maybe didn't happen quite the way Faith had said.

She couldn't piece together why Faith would try to paint herself as evil, the woman she had gotten to know was so far from evil that there was no way Buffy could believe it was true. She believed the facts of what Faith told her, joining forces with the mayor, the betrayal with Angel, the murder of the professor, kidnapping Willow and of course the brutal fight between the two slayers. Buffy couldn't even imagine how she had let herself get to the point where she'd be willing to kill Faith. But she knew it happened. Faith still had the evidence on her body.

A searing pain hit her, she gasped and dropped to the floor. Memories of what actually happened flooding into her. She laid on the floor in complete confusion. Why would Faith try to make herself out to have been to blame for everything? And she didn't even mention what happened with Willow or Tara.

A knock at the door startles her out of her stupor. She opens it without even being aware that she moved.

"Buffy? Are you ok?"

"No, not really." She chokes the words out.

"You need to find her. Here, this will help." Tara hands her the crystal they had been using to train with their auras. Buffy accepts it, still not aware of what's happening. "I think you'll be able to get through to her, but if you can't, call me, and I'll try to help."

Buffy looks down at the crystal in confusion. All her memories were crashing together, the only things she knew for sure is that she didn't want Faith to be hurting, and she definitely didn't want Faith to leave.

"Find me after - go!"

Buffy runs passed her. Digging into the pouch and touching the crystal. Watching the bright colors of her aura directing her where she needed to go. She ran as fast as she could, the entire time sending Faith all the comforting emotions that she could, and trying to contain her despair at not feeling any response.

She slowly pushed the motel door open, a little worried about what she was going to find. She looked at the humped form under the blanket. Could see it's slight movements indicated that Faith was curled up and sleeping heavily. She moved to the bed and slowly peeled the blanket and sheet back. "Faith?"

Faith eyes slowly opened, and once she seemed to realize who was in her room, she quickly moved to sit against the headboard. Putting as much space between her and Buffy as she could. Buffy shifted closer and reached out her hand to place it gently on Faith's cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You're not the one who screwed everything up, again." Faith frowned and pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You didn't screw anything up."

"How can you say that? I was supposed to be strong enough to save you from having to know. It was just supposed to be me that had to deal with knowing."

"You've carried the burden long enough it was time to share it. You weren't the only one who made mistakes. I needed to know what I had done."

Faith only shakes her head, closing her eyes.

"I'm so sorry I pushed you. I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted…" Buffy groans at herself for being so aggressive towards Faith yet again. "I get it now, and I'm sorry. Just please don't disappear on me. I need you in my life."

"You don't want me to leave?" Faith looked up, her eyes wide and full of hope.

"No, I never want you to leave. I promise." She smiled, and Faith began to relax slightly. "Why did you tell me what happened the way you did?"

"What do you mean? I just told you what happened."

"I think somebody didn't like that you were trying to take the blame for everything. They gave me my actual memories."

Faith shrieked and backed away, "No! You weren't supposed to remember."

"It's ok. Everything is ok." Buffy opens herself up to Faith, pours all her support and love into their connection.

"No, stop! Why are you doing this?" Faith almost falls off the bed, trying to get away. Buffy reaches for her and prevents her from hurting herself.

"I need you to know how much I care about you. That you are worth caring about."

Faith doesn't comment, only shakes her head and keeps her eyes on the floor.

"Faith? Please come back to me. You didn't mess anything up."

"This is stupid." Faith twists herself out of Buffy's grip and stands up, backing up against the wall.

"I agree completely," Buffy grinned and stood to face her.

"Then why are you doing this?"

"You are the one who's being stupid." Faith's eyes are tightly closed, and she's beginning to tremble. "Having you in my life has been beyond amazing. You've done everything you can to keep me safe and happy. I can never repay you for the time you've given me with my mother. I always wondered why you were so insistent that we spend time together. Now I understand."

Faith still doesn't respond, so Buffy presses, "When you came back, you could have done anything. You could have gone to the mayor. You could have used how you knew I felt against me. You could have just run away from everything and never looked back. But you didn't, you stayed. You could have crippled Willow. All the times she said terrible things to you, you could have ruined her. But you kept it all to yourself. And even now, you were trying to protect me from ever knowing what she did. You helped us all be better, all while not being able to see that you were better too. You deserve to be happy. You can't keep punishing yourself for mistakes that you didn't even make."

Faith

She wanted to argue that she did make those mistakes, just because she was given a second chance it didn't change what she had done. She had hurt and even killed people. She didn't deserve Buffy in her life. She didn't deserve anything good.

She could feel the power of Buffy's emotions pushing into her, forcing their way past the voices and the sense of worthlessness. Faith closed her eyes and let Buffy's words roll through her. She made herself hear them. Between the words and the emotions she felt pouring from Buffy, she had no choice but to accept them.

"I will never hurt you, or take anything from you. I will never use you or treat you like anything other than the amazing person you are. Please come back to me." Buffy's words were soft and filled with emotion.

Those were big promises, and Faith didn't think anyone could keep them, but she understood. She knew what Buffy was trying to tell her. Faith was still afraid to accept that someone cared about her. A tiny voice in her head trying to her that she wasn't worth caring about. Her complete trust in Buffy forced that voice to be quiet. The love she felt from Buffy was powerful enough to override the years of being told in so many ways that she was worthless. If the chosen one could feel this way about her, then there was no way that was true.

"Ok." As she said it she felt released from all the fear she'd been holding on to. All the doubt and self-loathing she had been clinging to since she could remember were almost entirely gone.

"Do you want to get out of here then?" Buffy smiled and offered Faith her hand.

"I really do."

"Tara wants to talk to us," Buffy says as they exit the motel room.

The slayers were walking in silence back to campus to meet with Tara. Faith suddenly stops walking, everything Buffy had been saying rolling around in her head. "Wait."

"What?" Buffy stops to look at Faith.

"What do you mean you get it? What do you think you get?"

Buffy frowned and dropped her shoulders. "Just that I didn't mean to push you into something you didn't want. I threw myself like a crazy person at you before and then I did it again this time. All the times I must have hurt you with my jealousy, and I've probably been driving you crazy with my desire. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should have known. You kept trying to get me to stay with Angel. You could have just told me." Buffy frowns and starts to walk away from Faith.

"Now who's being stupid?" Faith stood with her hands on her hips.

"What? I said I was sorry, and in my defense, there have been a lot of mixed signals."

Faith grinned and shook her head, approaching Buffy who was still babbling about how sorry she was and berating herself for being so aggressive. "B. Stop."

But Buffy wouldn't stop, "God, I'm doing it again. I just can't seem to…" and then she started to cry.

They had almost reached Tara's dorm, but Faith directed Buffy to her own building and led her to her room. "I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you, I didn't mean to. I don't know why.."

"Buffy!"

"I always have to push, I'm..."

"Please, stop." Faith pressed her hand to Buffy's mouth, who had her eyes clamped shut and continued to try to talk, her words muffled by Faith's hand. "Please, just stop talking." Faith wanted to laugh had how ridiculous Buffy was being, but could feel how upset Buffy was.

Buffy hadn't opened her eyes, but she finally stopped trying to talk. Faith guided her to sit on the bed.

"Open your eyes, please?" Buffy slowly did, and Faith wiped away her tears. "I get that you must be freaking out right now, I can't imagine how it feels to suddenly get all those memories."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, I was trying to piece together what you were telling me, it just didn't make any sense. Then when the real memories came… I was so sure I'd never see you again." Buffy started to cry again, covering her hands with her face. Faith gently pulled them away and again wiped Buffy's tears.

"It's ok. It's totally ok. I would never have just left. I just needed some time to deal with thinking I'd lost you."

"So we're both stupid?" Buffy smiled a little.

"Apparently." Faith grinned and was relieved that Buffy finally seemed to be relaxing. There was still an undercurrent of hurt, that Faith needed to get rid of. If she could be brave enough to fully admit her feelings, there would be no reason for Buffy to be hurting.

Buffy smiled again and began to compose herself, "we should go talk to Tara." She tried to stand up, but Faith pushed her back down.

"Not yet, I need to explain some things first." Faith backed away and started pacing, trying to figure out what to say. Faith was still reeling from all that had happened. The extreme conflict in her emotional state, making it hard for her to concentrate on now.

"Do we have to talk about before?" Buffy asks quietly.

"I really don't want to." Faith sighed and stopped her pacing.

"Me neither. The memories of that time are almost faded, I still remember what happened, but it's more like a dream."

Faith pushed out a breath, "that's how it is for me too."

"Good. I just wish..." Buffy frowned, "Can I see?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it?"

"I don't. I just want to see."

Faith moved closer to Buffy and slowly lifted her shirt. She watched Buffy's eyes as she reached up and traced her fingers over Faith's scar. She smiled sadly and folded her hands back in her lap.

"B…"

"No, don't say anything. It's ok. I just wanted to see. It didn't happen, and I know nothing will ever bring either of us to that place again." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You wanted to tell me something?" Buffy looked up at Faith hopefully.

Faith knelt down in front of Buffy, holding her hands. Faith knew that Buffy didn't understand before or now how hard feelings were for her. It wasn't Buffy's fault. It was an impossible thing for Faith to explain, not without actually telling her about her life before Sunnydale. She never wanted to think about that time, and she definitely didn't want to have to remember it enough to explain it to someone else. "Do you remember after our sparring session and your cold shower, I tried to explain to you how hard feelings were for me?" Buffy nodded, "and then the night before I was sent back, I was trying to comfort you?" Buffy nodded again, "What did that feel like?"

Buffy frowned a little, "It was confusing. I could tell what you were trying to do, but I couldn't understand the feelings you were sending me."

Faith nodded, expecting this response. "It's good that you pushed me, I needed you to know. I felt like I was tricking you this whole time. Like I was hiding part of myself from you. I wish you didn't have to know about Willow though. I hope you can see her for who she is now and not who she could have been."

"You see the irony of that right?" Buffy smirked, and Faith shook her head in response.

"No irony, I hope you can do the same with me. It took me a while to figure everything out this second time. But everything I've been doing is so I could be the person you seemed to think that I was before. A person worthy of your love." Faith opened herself up to Buffy, sending all of her feelings for the blonde slayer over their connection and hoping that this time they make sense.

Buffy's eyes glazed over, and it looked like she was going to faint. Faith stopped what she was doing and moved to hold her. "You OK?"

Buffy didn't respond, but she did shift her position and wrapped her arms around Faith.

"You helped me figure out how to let people care about me. I never had that before. Now I have people in my life that I trust. I know they might hurt me, and I might hurt them, but it won't be on purpose, and everything will be OK. I learned all of that from you."

The slayers continued to hold each other and sit in silence. Faith was pretty sure that Buffy still didn't understand that Faith had just confessed that she loved her. She was nervous to say it outright, a bit of doubt needling at her that this wasn't going to work. She decided it was time to try, she trusted Buffy completely and knew that neither of them would do anything to hurt the other intentionally.

Buffy pulled herself away, clasping her hands in her lap. "I'm still sorry I put you through this, I wouldn't have even said anything if you hadn't growled at Riley. Why did you? I don't remember him doing anything to either of us."

Faith smirked a little and looked away. "I overheard you talking to Willow about him."

"Oh my god. When I said he was kinda cute?" Buffy laughed. "I only said that because it seemed like she was offering to give me one of the soldiers." Buffy shuddered at the memory of it. "I figured if I was able to get close to him, I might be able to find out more about what was going on. You can't possibly think I wanted him."

"Hey! I don't think you should pick on me for being jealous for no reason. Pretty sure you've got me beat there."

"Yeah… sorry about that." Buffy frowned and turned away. "Hey, wait… you were jealous of him? Why.. if you don't…"

"Are you finally starting to put all this together? I thought I was the slow one." Faith gently grabbed Buffy's chin and turned it. She closed the distance between them, kissing her lightly.

"You kissed me," Buffy says in complete shock, holding her fingers to her lips.

"You don't seem too sure. I better do it again." Faith leaned in, and this time, the kiss was not light. Her words didn't seem to be getting through to Buffy. It was time to try something more direct.

As Buffy seemed to finally realize what was going on and participate in the kiss, the intense energy between them began to amplify. Faith had enjoyed the intimate moments they had shared in the Initiative, but this was nothing like that. She was pretty sure nothing should feel this good, all she could think about was what would happen once their clothes were off.

"Holy shit," Buffy whispered when they finally pulled apart. They were sitting close, foreheads pressed together as they tried to regain their composure. "That was… I don't even know what that was."

"Pretty sure I wouldn't have bothered to go back in time if it was like that before." Faith grinned.

"Amazing kisses are more important than preventing an apocalypse?" Buffy feigned outrage at the idea.

"I'm not sure amazing covers it.. but hell yeah. Don't try to pretend like you would have let me go back either."

"You might be right about that." Buffy leaned in and captured Faith's lips once again. Pushing Faith further onto the bed and moving to lay on top of her. They were so focused on each other that they didn't hear the door open.

"Um, Guys?"

The sound of Willow's voice tore the slayers out of their fantasies, both of them remembering when Willow pulled them out of their prison dimension and saying the same exact thing.

"Willow, hey." Buffy stands but can't make eye contact.

"It's ok, B. Try not to remember." Faith whispers to her while Willow gives them a weird look.

"I hope you don't think I'm freaked out by this." Willow offers, having no way to know why Buffy might be acting strangely.

Buffy shook her head but didn't respond.

"Well, sorry to interrupt, but Tara wanted to see you both. I was just going to get ready for bed." Willow shakes her head, clearly a little confused. She grabbed her bag of toiletries and headed back out into the hallway.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"I think so, just a little shocking." Buffy frowned and buried her face in Faith's shoulder. "Let's get out of here before she comes back though." Faith nodded her agreement, and they headed towards Tara's building. "How the hell did you deal with this? I keep seeing her with black eyes, tossing me around with her magic."

"Just try to remember that she was better after Tara kicked the first out of her. She helped us, and she hasn't done anything remotely bad to you since."

"She was so awful to you."

"Yeah…"

"What?"

"Guess there's no point in hiding it now. Do you remember how she starting being nicer to me a little after Tara got here?" Buffy nodded, narrowing her eyes, "so apparently the First had some kind of hold of her, and that's why she was always so mean to me. Tara found a way to get rid of it."

"How could you not tell me that?"

"She was only mean to me, and I knew I could handle it. I swear if she ever did anything to you, I would have done something. I never wanted you to think anything bad about her, she's your best friend, and I couldn't let that get taken away."

Buffy leaned into Faith, wrapping her arms around her waist tightly. "I can't believe everything you've done for me. I don't deserve you." Buffy backed away and put her hand on Faith's stomach. "I tried to kill you. How could you possibly forgive me, nevermind want to be with me?"

Faith pulled Buffy's hand away and held it in both of hers. "There's nothing to forgive. You had to do what you did. I needed to be stopped. The thing I had become, it wasn't what I was meant to be."

"But.."

"No. No more guilt, not for either of us."

The Keepers

"I told you!" The burgundy keeper bounced around the room, grinning and taunting her counterpart.

"Yes, yes. You're very smart. Now settle down!"

"I will not, what we've been waiting millenniums for is almost here!"

"I've been waiting that long. You've barely been here at all!"

"I have your memories, so it feels just as long. Can't you just be happy? It's not wrong to be happy!"

The keeper clad in the blue cloak couldn't help but chuckle at the display. The pure glee coming from her sister keeper was contagious. They hadn't reached their end goal, but the path was clear.

"Ok, be happy. They'll be here soon though. You cannot behave this way when they arrive."

Tara

Faith, Buffy, and Tara are in Tara's dorm room. The slayers wait patiently while Tara sets a few items on the floor in front of them. Tara can barely wipe the smile off her face as she watches the energy dance around the slayers. She's never seen anything quite like it, now that they were in harmony she wasn't able to not see or feel their energy. It was a beacon of hope and light for all who were tuned in to such things.

Faith had tried countless times to warn Tara away from Willow. She wouldn't say what would go wrong if they were together, only that it would lead to pain and death. Tara believed the warnings, but once she met Willow, she had no choice. Now she would finally explain to Faith why.

She placed the recharged crystal in front of them and motioned for them to touch it. "Holy shit." Faith gasped as she sees their auras.

"Seriously, what happened?" Buffy's voice was full of awe. They had been practicing for months with the crystal, but Tara knew what they saw now was beyond anything they had seen before. She was pleased to see the void within Faith was stitched tightly closed. She could still see what equated to scar tissue in Faith's essence. There was damage that could never fully be repaired, but as long as the void was closed, it wouldn't be able to hurt Faith.

Tara smiled. "We're going to have to work together to do something about that, or I may go blind whenever I'm near you guys."

"You can't shut it off?"

"Not anymore. It will be ok. It doesn't quite look the same for me."

"So what does this mean exactly?" Faith asked, looking slightly nervous.

"I've been researching auras a lot since you rescued me. Trying to understand more of what I saw with you both." Faith frowned at being reminded of the day they brought Tara back to Sunnydale. "Faith, whether you believe it or not, you did rescue me. I know you didn't want me to be with Willow, but there was no choice. Just like you two are connected, so are we. I know there may be pain and even death in my future, but I had to be with her. "

Faith scowls, "is this some kind of soulmate nonsense?"

Tara laughs at Faith's brashness, "It's not exactly nonsense, and for you two, it's a little more complicated than that."

Tara pauses and furrows her brow. Willow is coming. Something was different. She could feel Willow from much further away than usual. She could even see her. It finally dawned on her that all four of them must be connected in some way. It also occurred to her that everything she thought about what was happening might be totally wrong.