Buffy
Even with Ben's help, they are unable to prevent the death of Buffy's mother. They had tried everything, they even explained to her what they knew was going to happen. Making sure that Joyce cooperated with all the testing and treatments they wanted to try. Even with all their efforts and preparation, it was still devastating and unexpected when the aneurysm occurred. Faith had been completely supportive, letting Buffy and Dawn fall apart, while she kept things together.
It had been several months, and Buffy was beginning to heal, she would still occasionally cry when she thought of her mother, and she hadn't even been able to enter her mother's room. But she was functional, school was going reasonably well, and she and Faith were making enough money to stay afloat working their menial jobs.
Something suddenly changed about a week ago, and Buffy doesn't know what caused it. Faith became distant and cold. She'd disappear and wouldn't say where she had been. She'd come home covered in injuries but always refused any help. She wouldn't let Buffy touch her, she'd either sleep on the couch or in the basement if she came home at all. Sometimes Buffy would find her sleeping in their bed when she came home from work or school. Any time Buffy tried to talk to her, Faith would just take off.
The first few days, Buffy had thought it was just stress. Faith had been working two jobs, and they had barely been able to spend any time together since her mother had died. Dawn was becoming more and more combative, frustrated that she had to be alone all the time and refusing to understand why. Buffy's own stress over finals and the general stress of life led her to believe whatever was going on with Faith would pass on its own. That they would get back to normal once her finals were over.
Buffy only realized how wrong she was when Tara finally explained about the void she had seen within Faith's spirit when they first met. Tara had told her all their energies had been repairing the void, and until now, it had been held completely closed. Now it was more torn open than it was when Tara first met them and nothing any of them did was helping to repair it. Tara had no explanation for why this might have happened, it wasn't anything gradual. It had been a couple of weeks since Tara had seen Faith, but there was no indication of a problem then. To say that Buffy was furious with Tara for not mentioning what she knew about Faith earlier would be a serious understatement.
The previous night had been particularly bad. Buffy hadn't wanted to follow Faith when she ran away, but after learning about how serious the problem was from Tara, she had to. With Tara's help, she tracked her, keeping her distance and just trying to make sure Faith wasn't going to get hurt.
When Buffy found Faith, she was barely alive. She quickly texted Willow, letting her know to meet them at the house. She carried Faith's limp body home and gently placed her on the couch and headed upstairs. Knowing that Willow would heal her. It hurt her too much to watch. She didn't know how much more she could take. If she hadn't already died, she might have thought that this was what dying felt like. But since she had, she knew this was worse. She felt simultaneously completely numb and filled with extreme physical pain.
"B?" Faith entered their bedroom to find Buffy just staring at her closet. She held a bag in her hand but wasn't moving to fill it. "What are you doing? Are you packing?"
Buffy looked down at her hands in confusion. She hadn't even been aware of what she was doing. It wasn't a conscious thought. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted her happy life back.
"Don't be upset. Red healed me. I'm totally fine. See?" Faith tried to get Buffy to look at her, but Buffy just closed her eyes. Buffy could barely feel anything from Faith anymore. It reminded her of when they first opened the connection. Faith's feelings were muted and confused. She wasn't able to send strength or healing over their connection anymore either.
Buffy didn't know what to do about any of it. Everyone had tried to confront Faith, to get her to see that something was wrong and that she needed help. Faith would say horrible things in return. Buffy hadn't truly been afraid that Faith would physically hurt anyone, but the longer things went on, the more that idea started to creep into her mind.
She dropped to her knees and began to weep as she thought over this past week. Some small part of her always thought this might happen. That there were things Faith was holding on to that she wouldn't acknowledge. She blamed herself for not stopping this sooner, for not being able to help Faith through whatever it was that was happening to her.
Strong arms held her and carried her to bed. Not letting go as she sobbed herself to sleep.
She woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She frowned heavily as soon as she realized she was alone.
"We sent her this morning. When do you want to go?" Tara answered before Buffy could even say hello. She knew what was happening to Faith was hurting Tara almost as much as it was hurting herself.
"A few hours?" Buffy suggested, hoping that would be enough time for Faith to do what she needed to.
"See you soon. It's going to be ok."
"Yeah." Buffy sighed, she desperately hoped Tara was right.
Buffy ended the call and rolled onto her back. She knew what Faith was about to do was going to be hard, but she also knew that she'd get through it. It would never be completely over, but Faith needed to do this to have any chance to be free of her past. To truly accept what she had become.
She had tried a few times to get Faith to talk about her past. She tried to do it as gently as possible, just trying to let Faith know that she was ready to listen if Faith ever wanted to talk about it. Any references to Faith's past would cause her to shut down. Faith would try to play it off, saying it didn't matter, but Buffy knew she was lying. The few times Buffy attempted to push the issue were the only times that Faith caused her physical pain with her emotions. She had even tried to talk to Tara about it, she didn't have any additional insight and suggested that they just had to wait for Faith to open up when she was ready.
Buffy had not wanted to spy on Faith, but she had to find out more about Faith's past. A few days ago, she found the folder that Faith had retrieved from the Mayor's office. It contained surveillance and other information about Faith from the time before the deputy mayor was killed. They had been monitoring her ever since she arrived in Sunnydale, just waiting for the right moment to turn her to their side. It also contained letters from Faith's mother advising the Mayor on how to take advantage of her. Buffy couldn't bring herself to read them. It was too much of an invasion of Faith's privacy. She only skimmed through them enough to get a general idea that Faith's mother was still alive when Faith killed the Mayor and that she was incredibly cruel.
She gave Willow the name and address she had found and asked her to dig into it. She wanted to have some idea of what Faith had been through so they could help her after she confronted it. Willow hadn't been able to find out too much information about what Faith had been through. Not finding anything made Buffy feel even worse about spying on Faith. She desperately hoped that whatever Faith was doing now, would help her find her way back.
Buffy rolled over and pressed her face into Faith's pillow. Enjoying the lingering scent and ignoring the crusty remnants of whatever it was that Faith had been covered in last night. She reflected on the previous week and the events that led up to it. Tara seemed to believe that someone must have done something to Faith to cause such a drastic change, but Buffy couldn't help but blame herself entirely. Faith had given everything of herself to Buffy and Buffy was taking advantage. She was determined to be whatever Faith needed her to be right now.
Faith
Faith rolled down the window of her borrowed car and pressed the button for the intercom. The gate before her slowly slid aside. She gripped the steering wheel, her face tight with determination. She drove up the driveway and parked, methodically getting out of the car and standing in front of it. Staring at the large house, that should have been her home and tried to remember what had happened here. She only had vague memories of this place. Memories of pain, fear, and loneliness. Memories of being told over and over again that she didn't belong, that she was broken and worthless. That she was better off dead, that all she could ever do is hurt people.
She had never even hinted at the truth of her childhood to anyone. They all just assumed she was poor white trash. That her mother was an abusive drunk, who died before she was called and her father abandoned them. She let them believe that. It was easier to explain than the truth. It's true that her mother was abusive, just not in any traditional or neatly packaged way. Faith never knew her father, he had abandoned them when she was only a baby, and her mother never let her forget that. Taking every opportunity to point out that Faith had driven him away.
She remembered the last time she stood here. It was after Kakistos had killed her Watcher. She came back here, hoping that her mother would finally tell her why she couldn't ever do anything right.
Faith couldn't understand how she had been given her slayer powers only to fail so completely. Only to watch the first person who tried to care about her get ripped to pieces right in front of her. When she stood here all those years ago, a voice called to her. It told her to go to Sunnydale, it promised her that the answers were with the other slayer and not here. That was the only thing that prevented her from returning to her mother and letting her finish the job she had been trying to accomplish for Faith's entire life.
Faith shook the memory away. She was here now. She had to confront her past and make herself whole. She had a family now, one that she knew she was hurting deeply. She had to fix it.
The longer she stood there, the more conflicted she felt. She had never let herself remember what had happened here. She only remembered the feeling, and that feeling was emptiness mixed with terror. Terror of leaving the emptiness. If she was empty, nothing could hurt her. For so many years, that's what she did. She wouldn't let anyone close to her, she would focus on her anger. If she were angry, she wouldn't have to feel anything else.
But now, everything was different. She couldn't remember what it felt like not to be empty, but Faith knew she wasn't empty anymore. She knew she had love and wasn't the least bit empty. The past two years of her life were real, she was important, and she was loved. She knew it, she just didn't believe it. The answers were inside that house. The explanation for why she was destroying everything she built, everything that she deserved.
Taking a deep breath and steeling herself, she pushed away from the car and walked up to the front door. It opened before she could knock, a well-dressed man that she didn't recognize standing before her. "She's waiting for you in the sitting room."
There's a moment where Faith has to restrain herself from the automated response, pointing out that she's not allowed in that room. It doesn't matter, though. She has no intention of meeting her mother there. "She knows where she can find me."
Faith strides past the man confidently, making her way to the only room she had ever spent any time in.
The kitchen looks the same as she remembered, sunlight streaming in through the large windows covering one wall entirely. The room was cold and sterile. There was no indication that it was even used anymore. A light coating of dust was visible on every surface. She was assaulted with conflicted feelings as she took in the space. Her only good memories happened in this room, but far more bad ones were formed here.
"Faith! I'm so happy to see you!"
Faith is pulled out of her reverie by her mother, who was quickly approaching with open arms. She looked just as Faith remembered her. Perfectly tailored outfit on her too thin frame and expertly applied makeup. She hated that she bore any resemblance to this woman. They both had wavy brown hair and brown eyes, along with dimples and a smile that they knew how to use to convince anyone to do anything.
Conflict burned through her, a tiny voice in her head telling her to drop to her knees and beg this woman for forgiveness. Beg her for anything. There was more to her now though, she wasn't a weak little girl afraid of disappointing her mommy. She was a slayer, she was strong and filled with power. This woman may be able to destroy Faith with her words, but she was in no way going to touch her. She had decided long ago that no one would ever touch her if she didn't want them to.
"What the fuck are you doing?" She shoves the woman away before there can be any hug.
"What do you mean? Can't a mother be happy to see her only daughter?"
"A mother can. You can't." Faith hops up onto the counter, swinging her feet, intentionally bumping them into the cabinets. Watching as the facade her mother was trying to hold began to fail her.
"I don't know what you mean. I'm delighted to see you again after all this time." The woman's toothy grin was sparking fury within Faith. Part of her craving the approval, a driving need to keep that smile on her mother's face. The stronger part of her wanted to smash the woman's teeth in.
"I don't give a shit what delights you."
"Why are you here?" The woman replied through clenched teeth.
"I want to know." Faith's head is starting to pound, the ringing in her ears, making it impossible to think. She presses one hand to her forehead and groans. "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?"
Her mother began to cackle and clasped her hands together. A wide smile on her face, "Oh Faith. I just knew you couldn't do it. I knew you weren't strong enough. I tried to help you. You just wouldn't listen."
Faith groans, clutching at her head. As her mother gets closer, she begins to feel something else. Something calling to her, something telling her not to listen. She reaches for it, she remembers the comfort of that voice. The pain in her head begins to lessen. "That's not an answer."
"It's simple, really. You're evil. You were born with evil inside you." The woman says it so matter of factly, that Faith almost gives in and believes her.
Faith screams and grabs her mother, shoving her against the wall. The woman laughs maniacally. Again Faith hears the voice, telling her it's a lie. Telling her there's nothing evil about her. Faith drops the woman and backs away. As she runs her hand down her hip to grab her thigh, she feels the item Tara gave her before she left. Feeling a bit of her confidence returning, she smiles and tries to compose herself. She focuses on the voice, she focuses on her memories of Buffy and her friends. Knowing that she's loved and holds on to that with everything she has.
Faith began to walk slowly around the room, feeling more and more confident. Tracing her fingertips over the smooth, cool surface of the granite countertop, leaving trails of disturbed dust in their wake. "Do you remember the last time you caught me in here?" Faith pauses, but her mother doesn't respond. "I almost did what you wanted that night. You almost had me."
She absently ran her hand over her thigh, able to feel the ridges of the scar that would never completely fade through her tight jeans. A constant reminder of what her mother convinced her to do. "Every day for years after that I almost did what you wanted. I even tried to find other people to do it for me, but somehow, it never happened."
Faith doesn't know why her mother is pretending to be nice to her, or why she's staying silent. She doesn't care. It gives her the chance to say what she wants to say before she uses the item Tara gave her.
"You failed, though. I'm still here. Not only am I still here, but I'm important. More important and special than you can even imagine. I have people in my life who care about me. One in particular who loves me, and always will. Despite what I almost let you turn me into. Everyone always thinks the person they love is the most important person in the world, but this time it's true. She actually is, without her, without us… but no. You don't get to know about that."
Faith can tell her words are starting to wear her mother down. That false smile is beginning to fade into the angry scowl that she knows lives there. "Why are you here? If you think you can come back after all this time and take what's mine, you are sorely mistaken."
Faith laughs and rolls her eyes. "I don't want anything from you." Faith pulls the item out of her pocket and holds it in her fist. She can feel its warmth as it begins to glow. "I already told you why I'm here, I just want to know what's wrong with me."
Faith's mother struggles, clearly not wanting to answer the question but being compelled to by the crystal Faith had on display. "There's nothing wrong with you."
Faith raises an eyebrow. "So then, why? Why did you… do all the things you did to me?"
"I hate you! I hated you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were so happy, and he loved you so much! He would never love me as much as he loved you. Everyone who met you loved you, always saying how cute and smart you were. I couldn't stand it!" Her mother is panting now, Faith waits to see if she'll say more. She's beyond shocked so far and doesn't have any idea how to respond anyway.
"I'm not your mother. Your father only married me because I looked like her. He even made me wear her ridiculous wedding ring. Which I can't seem to remove no matter how hard I try. I have nothing, everything here is yours."
Of all the things she could have heard, none of that was what she was expecting. A tiny part of her feared the woman would have some actual answer to why Faith deserved to be treated that way. Some hidden truth that explained why Faith could never make the right choices and always found ways to hurt those around her. Finding out that this monstrous woman was not her mother completely freed herself from all the pain she had been holding on to for her entire life. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
"Show me." Faith held her hand out to the woman.
"What?"
"The ring."
"No! It's mine!" She clasped her hands together and pulled them close to her chest.
Faith ignored the woman's protests and easily pried her hands apart. Faith could see where the ring irritated the woman's hand, it was red and blotchy, showing years worth of abrasions that were never allowed to heal. The ring instantly slid off the woman's finger and into Faith's hand. She smiled down at it briefly before sliding it onto her pinky and feeling it fill her with warmth and comfort. The ring shifted size so it would fit perfectly.
Slipping Tara's crystal back into her pocket, she walked past the woman she no longer held any thoughts for.
"Faith! What are you going to do?"
She didn't answer. She didn't even hear her words. She was singularly possessed with the need to get back to her family and to move forward with her life. So much of her pain and suffering had been for nothing.
Faith was almost to the front door when she felt the familiar sensation that told her Buffy was near. She picked up her pace, running out of the door and scooping the smaller slayer up in her arms, swinging her around like in a cheesy romantic comedy. A goofy grin on her face.
"I guess you're not mad that we came?" Buffy asks once she's firmly back on the ground.
"Surprised, not at all mad." Faith grinned at Willow and Tara. The people she considered her family, and now she could think of family without any negativity or fear. She frowned a little when noticing Dawn wasn't there.
"Dawn is with Xander and Anya. We weren't sure what we were going to find." Buffy commented quietly.
Faith smiled and nodded her understanding. The past week was a total blur to her. She only now realized that she had barely seen Dawn at all during that time. As she thought back over the past week, she started to lose sight of the happiness she was just feeling.
She couldn't remember all of what had happened. She remembered saying horrible things to everyone she loved, she remembered pushing Buffy away and all the hurt she had caused. She remembered the look of horror and pain on Buffy's face. She buried her face in Buffy's shoulder, begging the wholeness that she knew she should be feeling to come back to her.
Buffy
Buffy looked at Tara who shook her head slightly, indicating to Buffy that this wasn't over. Buffy knew things were at least better. She could feel Faith again. This past week had been unbearable for her. Having been so deeply connected to Faith for so long and then losing it was excruciating. Even if it wasn't over, she believed things were at least moving in the right direction.
"Faith! I may not have given birth to you, but I am still your mother, you will respect me!"
The sound and sight of the woman exiting the house took the wind out of Buffy's happy moment. Faith sighed and pressed her face against Buffy's shoulder harder.
"Faith… she has a gun." Buffy whispered, unable to make any sense of what could be happening.
The four women turned to stare at the crazed gun-wielding woman approaching them.
"Do you have any idea how many times I tried to kill you? I poisoned you, tried to starve you, all those accidents you used to have, but nothing ever worked! Well, let's see if you can escape this time. First, I'll take out the people who you seem to believe care about you so much. I think I'll start with the girl you seem to think loves you."
She aimed the gun at Buffy. Faith had moved without hesitation to put herself between the gun and Buffy. She moved before the woman could register the movement and stop herself from squeezing the trigger.
There was an explosion and then screaming. The gun had backfired in the woman's hand. Blowing off her thumb and index finger, sending shrapnel into her face and chest. Buffy looked on in horror as the woman dropped to her knees, screaming and crying in agony.
Faith walked calmly up to the woman. "Are you done now?"
"What is protecting you!?" The woman screeched in frustration, reaching out to Faith despite her severely damaged hand.
Faith kicked the woman's hands away and turned back towards her family, leaving the woman in a sobbing bloody heap. The doorman had approached and was attempting to help the woman.
"How did you know where to find me?" Faith asked once she had returned to Buffy and the witches.
"It was in the folder from the Mayor's office." Faith raised an eyebrow and frowned at Buffy's answer.
"I forgot about that." She shrugged and looked down at her feet.
"Did you ever look through it?"
Faith shook her head. Buffy could start to feel Faith fading away. Buffy looked at Willow and Tara, not having any idea what to do, panic beginning to set in.
"There are a few things you should know, Faith." Willow started.
"You know what was in that folder too? Have you all been spying on me?" Buffy shuddered from the flash of anger she felt from Faith, something she had never felt before.
"I'm the only one who read anything that was in that folder, and I didn't read most of it. I only gave Willow the address." Buffy moved closer and pushed everything she could across their connection.
Faith sighed heavily and leaned into Buffy. "So, what do I need to know?" Buffy breathed an immense sigh of relief as she felt Faith's anger melting away.
The sound of an arriving ambulance interrupted Willow before she could answer.
Before Buffy knew what was happening, Faith had one of the EMTs pinned against the side of the ambulance by his shoulders.
"Faith? Oh my god! I can't… I'm so sorry. She said... I shouldn't have... I didn't... I should have helped you… " The man, who was easily twice her size, didn't try to resist or fight. He began to tremble and cry as he blubbered his apologies over and over.
Faith slowly lowered the man to the ground. Buffy looked on in horror, thoughts of what must have happened between this man, and Faith churning her insides.
Faith left the man who had dropped to the ground. "Faith? What did he do to you?" Buffy asked quietly, more than a little terrified of the answer.
Faith shook her head, "nothing." Buffy forced her to look her in the eyes, and Faith sighed. "Really, he didn't do anything to me."
The woman who was not Faith's mother began to cackle. "Don't lie to her Faith. Everyone knows how easily you gave yourself away."
Faith didn't acknowledge what the woman said. She just turned her back on the woman and began walking towards the entrance of the house. Buffy was too confused and shocked to do anything but follow her. Willow and Tara doing the same.
"Faith! You can't do this! They will leave you just like everyone else! You know I'm the only one you can count on!" Faith's not-mother began to wail from the back of the ambulance. Faith only waved her hand dismissively and continued to head to the house.
In a flash, the woman had broken free of the EMT attempting to bandage her hand. She leaped off her feet to tackle Faith, which didn't work at all. Faith slowly turned while the woman beat on her shoulders, ripping open the bandages and smearing blood everywhere. Faith gripped the woman's forearms and held them still while her body thrashed pointlessly.
"How are you not broken?! I broke you! You should be dead!" The woman is screaming, spit flying from her rabid mouth.
Buffy couldn't believe that it didn't occur to any of them that something evil could have been behind Faith's tormented childhood. Of course, none of them had any idea how bad it had been. She still didn't know. But seeing the woman behave this way, it made it fairly obvious that there was more going on than just an abusive, crazy woman.
The woman was still squirming in Faith's grip. They had only used their power once before, and none of them were pleased with the outcome. Buffy knew it was important and that they were meant to use this gift to stop the First from gaining control of the world again it had just been too difficult.
Buffy came closer, putting her hands over Faith's. Tara and Willow moved forward as well, adding their hands to the Slayers'. The woman in Faith's grip began to calm. Faith released her hold, and the woman dropped to her knees, quickly emptying the contents of her stomach. As an additional effect, Willow had healed the woman's hand and other injuries. The only evidence of her grisly wound was the blood that still coated both her's and Faith's shirts.
The woman began to whimper, dropping all the way to the ground and curling into a ball.
Buffy had to hold her tongue. She still didn't know all that this woman had done, seeing her suffering brought her some satisfaction that she knew she shouldn't be focusing on. None of this was about this woman, it was about Faith and helping her heal.
After a few moments, the EMT approached and dragged the unresponsive woman away.
Faith returned her attention to the house and motioned for the others to follow her.
They were lead through a grand hallway and into a kitchen, Faith moved without pausing to a back door leading them back outside. She walked in silence through what might have been a beautiful flower garden at one point but has long since fallen into disrepair.
They came upon a small shack, there were no windows, and the door hung slightly askew. Boards had been nailed haphazardly all around it, possibly as reinforcement. It was taking all of Buffy's willpower to keep her emotional shields up. She knew Faith wouldn't want to feel any pity or sadness. It was made easier by the fact that mostly what she felt was furious anger.
"After my father left, it was decided that I wasn't allowed in the house anymore. So this is where I lived." Faith said quietly as she stood in front of the small structure.
Faith pulled the door to the shack open and stepped inside.
"Maybe we should wait out here?" Tara suggests, holding Willow back.
Faith looks back at them and nods.
The witches wait in the garden while Buffy follows Faith into the small wooden building. Buffy was extremely nervous about what she was going to find inside. She was trying not to probe Faith's feelings, but her stoic and calm demeanor was starting to freak her out.
The interior of the shack was mostly bare, containing only a small cot and a wooden stool. The floor was worn down, showing wear patterns from small feet which must have paced endlessly in this cramped space. She also noted warn sections on the wall, where tiny fists must have beat against it. Buffy hadn't acknowledged the lock she had seen on the outside of the door. Now it hit her. Faith had been kept locked in this small space, unable to do anything but pace and punch the walls to exhaustion. Her heart felt like it was going to break into tiny pieces. How could anyone treat a child like this? I know she was being influenced by the First Evil, but this is beyond what I could have imagined. How is Faith sane at all?
Faith moved to the side of the cot and pried up a board. Retrieving a few books and a small race car.
"I never went to school. I wouldn't even know how to read if one of the caretakers she had hired hadn't snuck these in for me. These were the only things I managed to hide from her. Anything she found she would take, first making a show of destroying whatever it was." Faith sat down on the stool and looked at the items thoughtfully. "I don't even know how many of them there were. She would wait until they showed some sign that they were starting to care about me, and then they would disappear. She'd tell me that they decided I wasn't worth the trouble. No matter how much money she offered them, that they couldn't be bothered to spend time with me."
Buffy swallowed hard, she wasn't prepared for this. She was so angry, angry at everyone. Remembering now how the keepers said forces had been against Faith since she was born. Which meant that they knew about this. They knew and didn't tell them. If they had known about this before, they could have helped Faith through this without any of them having to live through the hell of the previous week. She couldn't focus on that, it was selfish to be angry at them. She had to be strong, she had to put aside her anger and give Faith all her love and support.
"How did you survive all this?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I did." Buffy's heart cracks with pain at the sadness in Faith's voice. She wishes she had any idea what to say. Faith needed help, and Buffy had no idea how to give it to her.
Buffy wraps Faith in a hug. "I hate that this happened to you."
"I think one of the keepers must have been helping me. I think she used to come to me and try to tell me everything that was happening wasn't my fault. That I was special. It kept me sane most of the time, I think. When I finally ran away, I couldn't hear her anymore." Faith froze, as some realization seemed to hit her.
"Faith? What happened?" Buffy moved closer, but Faith wouldn't look at her. Buffy couldn't feel her anymore, she screamed and dropped to her knees at the loss. It was even worse than before, even the basic slayer connection she had always felt was gone.
"Buffy?" Tara was in the doorway. Buffy looked over at her with tears in her eyes.
"She figured out the keeper was helping her and then she vanished. I can't feel her at all anymore."
Tara moved closer to Faith, grabbing her face and forcing her vacant eyes to look into Tara's. "Faith, I need you to listen. To really hear me." She stared into the slayer's eyes, but Faith did not respond. "The source of all evil, across all hell dimensions has been trying to stop you, to kill you for your entire life. Do you have any idea what that means?"
Faith blinked, some comprehension finally showing on her face. Buffy lept up and wrapped her arms tightly around her. Tears of joy as she was able to feel Faith's energy again.
Faith
"Forces for good may have helped you survive, but they had to. Nobody could have survived what you did without some help. Were you supposed to defend yourself against murder when you were 5?"
"But..."
"No, but. You still don't get it. There are rules, but evil cheats. The forces for good broke the rules to keep you alive. They kept you alive and gave you a second chance to make things right. They don't do that for everyone. If you were evil or worthless, or whatever terrible thing you seem convinced that you are - they never would have done that. They would never have bothered to keep you alive or to give you a second chance!" Faith is surprised to see the normally calm Tara angry at her.
"The world needs you in it, Faith." Tara says, "You are the most powerful weapon for good that there has ever been. You're not alone. You don't have to do this alone. All you have to do is listen and accept the truth."
Faith closed her eyes, feeling the love and support radiating from Buffy and Tara. She wanted everything Tara was saying to be true. She even knew that it was true.
She felt warmth pouring from the ring on her pinky, and she could hear it talking to her. "You are not broken. You are not worthless. You are made of love and magic. Believe it."
She finally remembered how she knew that voice. It was the same voice and feeling that would constantly try to remind her that the things that were happening weren't her fault. It was the same warmth and comfort she felt around the keepers, and now she recognized that same feeling coming from Tara.
She squeezed Buffy close, gently wiped her tears away and kissed her. "I'm so sorry."
"Did something happen? I know things have been hard lately, but they were going to get better. I thought you were happy." Buffy's voice was a whisper, and it broke Faith's heart that she had caused so much pain in the woman that she loved so much.
"I am happy, B. Completely." She sighed and looked around the cramped space. "Let's get the hell out of here, and I'll explain."