I was reluctant to let Rosalie in, but I knew she was uncomfortable and perhaps a little scared, since it was late, and she was in a neighborhood that wasn't hers. She rang the doorbell again and I rolled my eyes, letting her in. She was annoying right now, but I had to give it to her – she was persistent.

Truthfully, I wasn't angry with Rosalie, I just wanted to keep away from Jasper as much as I could. That included his friends, which Rose definitely was.

When she walked in, she looked like she wanted to say something sassy, but instead she just looked at me for a second and slowly her face changed, from pisssed off to almost sad "Bella… It's nice to see you."

I nodded "Come in." I didn't know what this was going to be about, but I guess I was going to hear her out anyway "You want some tea or something?"

"How about something with a higher percentage?"

I led her to my small kitchen and opened a bottle of cheap red wine I had lying around. I poured us both a glass of wine and by the looks of it, we both needed it.

"So, Rosalie," I gave her the glass and took a big gulp of mine "What's up?" I felt like I already knew what was going to be the subject matter of this conversation.

She took a gulp as well, looking really sad "How are you doing Bella?"

"I'm good, how about you?" I answered since this was just an introduction.

She shook her head, staring into her glass "You know, you and Jasper are really bad liars. Both of you fucking suck, it's amazing."

I didn't answer anything and after a deep breath she kept going "You know, it's not my story to tell."

When she kept up her silence, I grew irritated and couldn't help but to raise my voice at her, letting my pent-up aggression out "Then why are you here?" I asked her rudely "I didn't ask you anything."

She looked up at me "I know! But I'm not going to let my best friend lose the one person he loves just because he is a stupid piece of shit!" she raised her voice as well.

"I don't understand." I shook my head.

"What happened between Jasper and you?" she asked suddenly.

I got a little uncomfortable "Did he tell you?"

Her face twisted in disgust "He told me that he didn't want a relationship and freaked out on me. I know he's lying. I can always tell… But you tell me what happened… Please. I know Jasper good enough to know that he can sabotage himself."

I finished my glass in two big gulps "He fucked me. I didn't cum. Then he ignored me and called us friends. It's more disgusting than it sounds." I recapped her in a second or two. I didn't want to dwell on the uncomfortable and fucked up exchange between Jasper and I.

"Jesus Christ." She looked as if she was going to be sick, her face twisting in disgust "I'm so sorry Bella."

I wondered why she was here. It was pretty late to come over to your friend's lovers house. Obviously, she wanted to help her friend, but then why was she here? I was leaving him alone, not bothering him in any way. How could I help…

"It's not your fault Rosalie." I refilled our glasses and sat down as well "It's nobody's fault but his."

"I understand that you wouldn't want him anymore but-"

"I want him…" I stopped her before she could say anything more "I want him to make it okay, I just don't think it will happen. I won't go back just like that." I finished my freshly poured glass, since I wanted to tell Rosalie what I was feeling, just as much as I wanted her to leave me alone "Rosalie… I love him… The previous night, the night Jasper moved, and Emmett and I helped…" Rosalie looked almost worried by what I was saying "Emmett left and so Jasper and I got intimate… It was such a soft moment Rosalie." I closed my eyes reliving the beautiful moment of that evening "It felt like we were making love… I didn't say anything about my feelings to him. Never… Neither did he, but… I could feel it, I swear."

Rosalie looked at me as if she were sorry for me "You love him."

I didn't have to say anything, and she continued "He loves you too."

I shook my head, not being able to hear those words again, not from her "Don't. I can't bear it. I much rather not think about that since I can't have him."

"But you can!" She pleaded with me "Jasper may seem calm and as if he knows his shit… But he has his own issues… Demons."

"How did the things end up with Maria?" I asked. It was bugging me beyond imagination. I feel like it would explain something. Rosalie said she didn't care for Maria. I doubt that she came over to Marias when they were over.

She leaned back, breathing in "Jasper met Maria in the café… They hit it off in terms of kinks, but personality vise speaking, there wasn't lot of it. They never spend time outside of fucking. It was only physical. They didn't spend any time outside, and when I say that, I mean it… She never met me or Emmett as well, except the café of course."

"What happened?"

"After one of the sessions, Maria said that she wanted to be more. Jasper gave the after treatment since he thought that it was just the subspace talking, and after realizing that she was serious, he declined. Then Jasper explained to her that he couldn't go any further. They met on more than one occasion just to talk things over, but Maria later said those were dates. Maria needed closure – Jasper gave one. Closure not dates though. Then another, then the third and so on."

"How do you know that that happened? Maybe Jasper didn't tell you the whole thing?" I asked her, interrupting her. It hurt me to think that way about Jasper, but I couldn't help it.

"Maria talked to me as well." She nodded "She wouldn't understand how Jasper didn't like her. She thought that we were fucking and confronted me." Rosalie laughed a little "Maria made a scene in the café. She humiliated Jasper, saying that he was abusing her with cheating. With me." She shook her head pursing her lips "Emmett was so fucking pissed off at her. More so than Jasper I think. But it did result in Jasper cutting her off."

I leaned back sipping the last bit of my wine. Should I open another one? I was feeling slightly tipsy already to be honest.

"Alright, so he feels like a relationship would humiliate him?" I asked her, finally.

She finished the last of her wine as well "Did Jasper ever tell you anything about his family? Something?"

I nodded, remembering a time when I was still with Edward "Yeah… His dad died when he was young, and he grew up with his mum… What I understood of it, she was a good mother."

"She was. Is." Rosalie smiled "But he never told you about before? The memories he has of his father?"

I shook my head "He once said some of them were pleasant, some weren't making any sense…"

She closed her eyes "The reason they don't make any sense is that he had a fucked up relationship with him… I hate to even mention this, since it's not my story to tell, but I hope it will help." She turned to look at me "The thing is that Jasper doesn't believe he can be loved. Since he never loved anyone, he didn't face a problem… Turning people down was easy. He was always nice and polite, and the women still went after him because of it… Maria for one… But…" She shook her heads "I've never seen him like this."

I covered my face with my hands. I briefly wondered what had Rosalie seen of Jasper to say that. I didn't ask her. There was a lot to take in. Rosalie believed that he loved me but there were issues with him. I know that even if a person is a dominant, he can face issues, that's obvious; the strong can't always be strong. I just didn't understand why he wouldn't communicate with me. I don't believe that was an excuse big enough to make me feel like that. I made a promise to myself not to run anymore, and I wasn't even going to run… Including running back to him.

Rosalie stood up "I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch Bella… I truly am. Emmett told me about how you lost your job… We'll get to the bottom of it…"

I stood up as well, slowly walking Rosalie back to the door "I actually took care of the problem… I have my job, so it's alright… I know who it was. Everything's fine, no need to worry about me." Rosalie looked shocked and before she could ask who it was I answered "Umm… It was Maria and Angela – my manager. Well… my previous manager." I smiled at her surprised face.

Before Rosalie could leave or say something about the situation, I asked her, something I've been thinking about and struggling with "I just keep looking at these BDSM relationships, and I see everyone getting burned one way or another… Does it always happen? Will it keep happening?" I asked Rosalie.

Rosalie shook her head, looking pensive "It happens in every relationship. BDSM relationships just have a magnifying glass on any type of abuse if it happens… Any type of wrongdoing… Rape and abuse happen more often in regular relationships, but no one takes note of that as often." She smiled "Take and learn from those relationships that don't work and take the best bits from the ones that work. I'm still with Emmett. And I love him like no one's business and I know he loves me too. It can work out."

"If both people want it to."

I let Rosalie out and went to sleep in a tipsy state. I didn't appreciate my spinning head and the intrusive Jasper thoughts as I tried to catch some Zzz's but I couldn't do much about it. And I couldn't do much about not being able to fall asleep for most of the night. Damned Rosalie…

It felt like I had just fallen asleep when I was woken up by a phone call. Checking my phone I noticed that it was almost ten am and it was the call I wanted but not waited.

"Good morning." I answered

"Good morning Bella, how are you?" Sue Clearwater greeted me.

I wanted to laugh at her question. I had no idea how I was "I've been good." I lied "How about you?"

"I've been great, thank you. To circle back to our conversation. As of right now, we can offer you the management position, but when you graduate your masters, we will have a call back. This isn't a no; I have to tell you. To be quite frank with you, we need to know that you can do the management position. We also would need for you to have the education, so take this time, to finish things up, do your job good, and soon enough you will have the position you want."

We agreed to meet up tomorrow at the library bookstore so I could sign the papers and do everything. It was good that she offered to meet up tomorrow since I didn't want to get out of bed, feeling a bit ill. I didn't know if it was because of the wine, or because I hadn't slept for most of the night. Deep down I knew it was the things Rosalie had said. I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper... Did he love me? How was he coping? Mostly, I wondered why he sabotaged us. I wonder what was going through him… I wanted to talk to him, ask him to make things alright, but I knew he had to come back to me, on his own. If he didn't do that, if I would invite him back or go after him, I knew we wouldn't last any longer than we did and it would just be a recipe for disaster. I was going to move my life forward with or without him, but my heart was empty without him, and I was left feeling vacant without him. I hoped that he would come back to me soon.