Explosion Series: Rescuing This Fool!
"Just imagining a pack of wild beasts making a mess out of me…"
I felt mana coursing through my very being. Yes, this was true power. I could feel him in the castle, and I knew he could, on a subconscious level, feel me too, as I was about to cast the strongest spell on this planet. Power surged through me. I released my mana and began to chant.
"Oh, my past self, he who is known as the God of Destruction, I call upon thee. Let your almighty strength fill this mortal vessel thou shall occupy in the future. I remain indebted to you for this blessing known as Explosion, but the time has come to go beyond, and reach heights hitherto unknown to man! Yes, I require your aid in casting a spell that walks a fine line between utter annihilation and beauty! Hark, for I have arrived. LET THE WORLD KNOW DESTRUCTION! EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSION!"
A gigantic blast tore through the sky, creating a shockwave that shook reality itself. Yet, not a single soul was harmed. After all, I, a reincarnation of the God of Destruction, had cast the spell to prevent unneeded deaths. Indeed, I was truly the greatest.
"MY NAME IS MEGUMIN! I MAY BE THE GREATEST ARCHWIZARD IN AXEL, BUT THAT IS IRRELEVANT NOW! FOR I AM THE LOVER OF SATOU KAZUMA, AND I HAVE COME TO CLAIM WHAT IS MINE FROM THE HANDS OF THE ROYALS!", I shouted, proud of the way I had controlled the smoke from the Explosion to spell out what I wanted it to, and confused because I hadn't used the speech I had practiced.
Before I could think too much, I was dragged by a strong pair of hands, and thrown into a carriage, where I promptly collapsed from lack of mana. Aqua continued to snore right next to me. The self proclaimed goddess was not even shaken by my mighty Explosion! I must teach her a lesson when the 4 of us get home to Axel!
Darkness was berating me but her voice fell on deaf ears. I was still thinking about my beautiful Explosion. She was saying something about 'not exploding the capital' and 'sticking to the kidnapping Kazuma plan'. Hmph. I need no such advice. My work is to Explode things and make Kazuma feel my love. My Explosions are not bound to measly, mortal plans.
Darkness drove the carriage straight towards the gates of the royal palace. Of course, Aqua chose this moment to wake up. She looked around sleepily, and saw the gates of the castle speeding towards us. She didn't even have time to scream before we crashed into the gates.
I nearly flew out of the carriage from the impact but Darkness caught me with one hand while driving the carriage with the other. As expected of someone who is made of nothing but muscles. Aqua had already given up on life and was crying in the backseat.
And then, we were surrounded by a number of soldiers. The carriage screeched to a halt. Darkness leapt out without a moment's hesitation, after being considerate enough to toss my delicate body into the carriage.
I groaned internally. It was time for Lalatina ojou-chan to get horny beyond compare. I couldn't even close my ears, so I'd have to sit through it all. Poor soldiers. They would have to witness the fake noble's disgustingness.
…
K-kuh! These soldiers are staring at me with confusion, and I'm sure lust, in their eyes! W-wait no, I am here to save Kazuma, and not shake in orgasmic bliss as I imagine what dark weapons the royalty keeps in their dungeons!
I cleared my throat, and drew my sword. "Soldiers! I give you one last chance to stand down! I do not wish to harm my own countrymen as I fight my way through the castle to rescue my party member! T-though if you wish to harm m-me I don't really mind...Hehe…"
They didn't let go of their swords, but were thrown off.
"OI YOU PERVERT, FIGHT THEM ALREADY AND SAVE KAZUMA!", Megumin's voice sounded from the carriage.
Y-yes. It wasn't the time to be this sexual. Kazuma needed rescuing. I steeled my resolve and looked at the soldiers with determination burning in my eyes. Yes, today I might just be able to hit a few of them.
I cried out to Aqua,"BUFF MY DEFENSE AND STRENGTH!"
Aqua, who was still traumatized from waking up to a gate in her face, immediately obeyed me, as if I was going to hurt her if she didn't. T-this feeling of dominance isn't so bad either...Hehe…
"I BUFFED YOUR ACCURACY, STRENGTH AND DEFENSE, DARKNESS-SAMA!", she screamed, before promptly screaming again.
"A-accuracy? Why didn't you just buff that earlier too?!"
Of course, I got no response. Megumin sat up, after presumably absorbing mana from one of the few manatites leftover from the invasion on the demon king, and started shouting at me to pay attention to the soldiers. I w-was no lolicon to get turned on by her shouting at me...was I?
Again, I shook my head. Without a moment's hesitation, I rushed towards the soldiers at a frightening speed, and swung my sword.
And missed.
I was caught off guard, and carried by my momentum, slammed into 2 soldiers, promptly taking them down.
"H-how embarrassing! I'm sure all of you are laughing at me right now, berating me in your minds, aren't you? S-say it out loud, I promise I won't complain!"
They looked at each other, confused. Oh? Were they now wondering how I'd read through the- ow!
Something hit me in the back of my head. I turned around, only to find a pair of glowing red eyes staring at me. O-oh no...hehe…
I picked up my sword, and threw it at a soldier. Of course, it missed him, but came extremely close to taking his arm clean off.
"Unless you wish to fight me and my precise attacks, do turn tail and run away.", I glowered at them. Of course, I couldn't hit them if I tried but they didn't know that. After all, all they knew was that the greatest archpriest in the entire country had just buffed my accuracy.
As expected, they began to back away.
"HALT, SOLDIERS! The Princess herself has sent me here to bolster the defences. And I see you fools cowering? Pathetic! Let me show you how I do things! Lalatina-dono, I challenge you to a duel. If you win, I will stand down! Do you accept?", a voice shouted.
Claire.
Of course, I was not going to back down.
"I ACCEPT! LET US BEGIN RIGHT NOW!", I roared. This woman had embarrassed Kazuma in the past too. I shall get revenge for my friend!
I dropped my sword, and approached her.
"Oh? You are underestimating me and approaching me?"
"I can't get revenge for Kazuma without getting closer."
"Then come as close as you like. Oh, did you know? Rumours say everyone calls you a masochistic slut?"
I paused, not expecting Claire to say such words.
"I apologize, Claire-dono, but such words do not affect me. After all, I am here on a n-noble mission- huahh!"
I can't control myself! How can you ask me to bear such mockery, s-such humiliation without becoming all hot and bothered…
No! Kazuma must come first! I will simply ask him to punish me later! No one can beat his punishments...heh...
I felt a dangerous pair of glowing eyes on my back yet again. I gulped, and faced Claire.
"Come.", I said.
A single word. Yet it infuriated the egotistical noble beyond compare. Fufufu. All a part of my plan to taunt her, and not a word expressing my latent desires…
Claire launched herself at me, falling right into my well thought out trap.
I simply stood and took the blow, aimed at my shoulders. Claire let out a gasp of surprise the same moment I felt a slight sting on my shoulder.
I shrugged the blow off [A/N: Pun intended] and looked disappointedly towards the carriage.
"AQUA! I can't feel the pain that well! Remove the buffs!"
I felt stings all over my body, and so looked towards Claire. Pathetic.
I then felt some blood on my cheek.
"All that...for a drop of blood?", I asked Claire, in my 'disappointed mother tone'. She seemed to be on the verge of tears.
"This is what you get for kidnapping my party member!", I shouted, punching Claire. At least, I intended to, before my fist missed and went straight through her sword, shattering it into thousands of tiny pieces.
I blushed and began to pant heavily, but stopped almost immediately. All for Kazuma!
"See what I did to your sword? That shall be the fate of all who stand between Megumin and her lover! Hmph!"
I then walked back to the carriage, slinging a still-traumatized Aqua over my shoulder and beckoning Megumin, before walking through the castle and towards Kazuma. Not a single person had the courage to stop us.
I could hear Megumin humming happily, about things sounding suspiciously like…"blowing up a castle" and "devouring Kazuma". What a scary girl.
As we continued our leisurely walk through the castle to rescue Kazuma, we heard a deep, baritone voice call out to us.
"Did you think I would let you pass through my castle without a fight?"
I turned around, looking at the source of the voice. I involuntarily dropped Aqua, who began to cry. However, I had no time to look after her. Even Megumin had been silenced.
This was the worst possible outcome for us.
…
Kazuma looked at Iris, who seemed to be contemplating something.
"H-hey Iris, let's have a match of rock-paper-scissors, best of 3. If I win I get to go home...haha.."
"Hmph, as if I'm going to fall for such a useless bait, onii-sama! I know about your extraordinary luck which many agree is your only reliable feature, and I'm not stupid enough to challenge you in a game of chance!"
Kazuma sighed, and said," You really have changed huh...to think my cute sister went from being naive and unworldly to shrewd. I am both proud of your progress and- hey what're those noises? I am sure I hear the reatrded Aqua screaming her head of-"
Iris and Kazuma both rushed towards the window, and looked out, as they were interrupted by the sound of a loud 'BANG'.
Kazuma's jaw dropped as he watched a certain masochistic crusader walk out of the carriage. And so, with Iris, he watched her fight with Claire, and her deadly precision.
"To think that just 2 days away from Axel and me would lead to such character development…", he sobbed, while Iris watched on at the scene, excited.
Kazuma slowly started backing away from the balcony, while Iris was distracted, so he could use Lurk and meet up with them, but he was interrupted by a sword slash to his right. He gulped and turned around, terrified.
"Where are you trying to go, onii-chan?", Iris asked, with a possessive look in her eyes.
Kazuma started sweating in fear, and tried to lie his way out of the situation," Oh-uh-you know...going to...relieve myself…"
Iris frowned. "Now, now. You are my future husband. There's no need to be shy."
"Ah- um, yes. Indeed, true, right.", he said.
Iris then began to laugh out loud. Kazuma tilted his head in confusion. It was one of the first times he'd seen Iris laugh out loud, without a care in the world. But the occasion was wrong…
"Onii-chan! You really do fall for the simplest of traps!", she shouted, throwing herself at him and hugging him while laughing.
"Who taught you these dirty tricks?! I'll beat the damn bastard up!", he shouted in anger.
"Well...it was you...and your lover…", Iris said, pulling herself away.
Kazuma paused, not expecting such an answer. "O-oh…"
"Onii-chan, you know, I've seen how much you love Boss. And how much she loves you, to come here and raise hell at the castle. While I do love you, and will compete with Boss- I'll stop calling her that so please stop looking at me like that. Anyway, I don't intend on letting you go forever, but I suppose Megumin-nee wins this round. I'm not teasing you this time so there's no need to worry. Of course, I demand one reward before you leave, and I'm not going to let you go until I get it!"
Kazuma froze. "P-please Iris, nobody will marry me if you do that...I'm just a young innocent child who desires to live a free life…"
Iris stared at him in disappointment. "I hate how you're rejecting me when I didn't even offer to 'make you unmarriable', but...sigh...GIVE ME A HUG!"
Kazuma flinched at the sudden outburst, but didn't have time to respond as Iris flung herself at him again, hugging him. He smiled too, patting her head and hugging her back. "Man, I'm never gonna get tired of hugging her."
And yet again, they were interrupted. This time, by the sound of a useless goddess screaming and a moan of pleasure that could be heard throughout the castle, followed by a booming laughter.
Kazuma glanced at Iris, who had paled.
'This wasn't supposed to happen! We need to reach their fast bef-before he...ah, let's just run!", Iris yelled, dragging Kazuma along with her.
"Aqua always cries but never does she cry so genuinely...and Darkness has never orgasm- yelled like this before...just what exactly are they facing?!",he thought, worried for their safety.
"Wait a minute, I didn't hear Megumin. I hope...she's okay! I can't let anything happen to my favourite archwizard!"
...