Explosion Series: Going Back Home
"Huh? You're supposed to be a hikiNEET! Why are you so reliable?!"
"SHEER SHIELD, SUMMON!", he yelled, summoning a blazing surface of pure light that knocked me back, throwing me into Aqua who was still crying. H-how indecent…
"BAHAHAHHHAAHHA! TO THINK THAT YOU ARE THE DAUGHTER OF THE SWORD OF THIS COUNTRY! DISGRACEFUL!", he shouted, dispelling his shield.
"K-kuh! To think that the king himself i-is slandering my name...I am..aaaaaaaaaah!", I yelled, unable to control myself from letting my true colours show.
Aqua was still screaming, for some reason. "YOU HARD-HEADED CRUSADER, GET OFF ME!", she shouted, and I realized that she was still pinned underneath me.
I immediately got up, and blushed profusely while apologizing to a foul-mouthed Aqua.
I then turned towards the king but before I could proclaim myself as his challenger, I felt...something t-touch...my upper private p-parts…?!
I screamed in ecstasy. Truly, there was no joy greater than this! Oh Eris-sama! Thank you for blessing me and making me lucky enough to experience this!
I continued to scream, before I felt my consciousness slip away. If only I could feel this longer…
…
I stared incredulously at the fainted Darkness, who had gone out with one final lust filled moan, and the King who was snorting like a pig.
Aqua too seemed to be doing the same, except she had started screaming even louder than usual.
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! LALATINA IS INDEED A FINE WOMAN! BWAHAHAHAH!", he laughed, while touching himself in all sorts of obscene ways. I wrinkled my nose in disgust at the sight.
"Y-you sexual harasser! You're just like the useless hikiNEET when it co- I'm sorry Megumin, I meant Kazuma!", shouted Aqua, quickly changing her sentence once she felt my hate-filled glare.
"Oh? And you're going to stop me? I'd like to see you break through my weakest defensive spell! SHIELD OF ATHENA, AEGIS, I SUMMON THEE!", he shouted, saying all sorts of cool things before creating a burst of green light that hovered in front of him.
"'Hah? This is so EASY to break through! SACRED BREAK SPELL!", screamed a smug Aqua, using a high level spell against the King.
The King was knocked back a few feet, but his shield didn't break. Still, cracks had been generated all over the shield.
"W-who the hell are you?! To break my strongest spell like this with but a single spell...heheheh...you'd make a fine addition to my harem...heheh…", he muttered. Wasn't that supposed to be his weakest spell?! As Kazuma would say, what a "tryhard". I wonder if I used that right…
"Harem?! Don't kid me you shitty sexual harasser who is perpetually in heat! Go masturbate like a normal person you lowlife assaulter scum! It's not like any woman will ever like you!", Aqua shouted. As expected of the person who constantly got into yelling matches with our own, now reformed, sexual harasser.
"So you're a tsundere...no, maybe even a deadere...what a rare masterpiece…", mumbled the King, before trailing off and turning that lecherous gaze of his on me.
He immediately deactivated his spell, disregarding a confused Aqua.
"Oya? What is this? How did I miss this? Buhe! A...loli! A LOLI...POTENTIALLY OF LEGAL AGE! BUEHEHEHHE! THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY! Ohhhhh the things I'd do to you...mmmm...", he continued fantasizing, making me feel disgusting.
"Oi, don't think you can-..." I started my lecture but was interrupted as another voice cut in…
"Oi, don't think you can do what you like to her. Hands off my woman you damn lolicon bastard!", shouted a manly voice that seemed to be shaking a bit.
My heart skipped a beat. That voice...there was only one person with such a reliable voice that was full of fear!
I felt excitement swell within me. He...was here! Right here, just a few steps away!
"K-KAZUMAAAAAA!", I shouted, running straight at Kazuma, not caring about the King, or his very lewd hand gestures.
"I LOVE LOVE YOU, YOU DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!", I screamed as I threw myself into his reliable arms which caught me before pulling me closer towards him.
"I love you too, explosion maniac. But you know, I'm n-not a damsel in distress!", he whispered, making me shiver.
The only man I needed to violate me, and sexually harass me, was Kazuma, and no one else.
…
I held Megumin tightly in my arms, to the extent that she felt the natural albeit small phenomenon in my pants pressing against her. I could feel Iris' jealous glare, but I honestly didn't care. [A/N: YO THAT FUCKING RHYMED I'M A GENIUS!] At this moment, I needed Megumin, and Megumin alone. But before I could enjoy Megumin fully, I needed to get rid of the pervert. No, not Darkness for once. But yet another noble.
"Oh, my sweet Iris is here too! It's been so long since I've seen you, my child. How hard it was for me to bear staying away from you for years. The time spent away from you feels like a distant memory but fear not, for I am here now to help you and make you happy, as I watch you grow into a full-fledged woman. Hehe, you deflo- AH!", he said, glaring at his own daughter with lust, before nearly being cut into two by Iris, who had drawn her sword and unleashed an attack.
"To think my own daughter would attack me...how disgracefu- AH!", he screamed again, but this time as a horizontal beam of what seemed to be light nearly cut him in half. Iris truly had terrifying accuracy.
"Father, I will not let you get in the way of onii-sama's love! While I hate how disgusting you are with me, I'd rather you do it with me than with Megu-nee! I will join your pathetic harem in exchange for you letting onii-sama's party away!", Iris said, in a commanding tone befitting royalty, but not befitting her age.
'I accept. Welcome to my harem.", he promptly accepted, sitting on the floor on his knees.
"I will be in your care, Iris-chan."
I looked at the scene with unbridled disgust.
"Hold it, you scummy- eek!", I started, but was forced to shut up as Megumin kicked herself off of me and walked towards the king, wacking him as hard as possible with her staff.
"YOU SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A FATHER! HOW DARE YOU LAY A HAND ON MY LITTLE SISTER! MY NAME IS MEGUMIN! AND I WILL BLOW YOU AWAY WITH MY EXPLOSION MAGIC, YOU DAMN LOLICON SCUM!", she yelled.
Iris stepped in and put herself between Megumin and her father. "Megu-nee...I appreciate your concern but it really is fine!"
"No, it is not. What kind of a brother would I be if I let a man such as him get his hands on you?! No, you're coming with us to Axel. I refuse to let you stay in the castle when it is infected by such disgusting people."
"I agree with Kazuma. It would be horrible of me- OI YOU PERVERT, STOP TOUCHING HER THIGHS!"
I looked around in the meanwhile, checking where Aqua was. I then spotted her lying face down on Darkness' boobs. An enviable position indeed, but I wonder how that idiot had ended up in that position, while unconscious.
Meanwhile, the King had gotten up and was ogling Iris, who was being hugged by Megumin and shielded from the King who commanded Defensive Spells far superior to any other. But the King had a dark look in his eyes this time…
"You damn moral policemen. Shut up and give me! Back! My! Prize!", he shouted in his deep voice, charging straight at us. However, before he could do much, he was hit by a flash of lightning, which resulted in him being thrown away.
"Y-your Majesty, kindly do not t-touch Lady Iris!", a sweet and shaky voice declared.
Rain! As expected of a true and good noblewoman!
Behind Rain, I saw my mortal enemy, Claire, and a few other knights who seemed to be there reluctantly.
"Kazuma-dono! Kindly take your party members and flee with Lady Iris! I will call in her brother to deal with the King, but we will cover your escape! In the meantime, run!"
How are we going to teleport, since I had 'forgotten' the teleport skill to make space for more...?, I asked...or tried to, because I was dragged by a Megumin who held both Iris and me in her arms. She jumped towards the useless goddess and the good for nothing crusader, linking their arms with ours.
Iris tried breaking away from the circle. "I really shouldn't be causing you this much trouble, please let me-ow!"
Megumin slapped Iris and pulled her into a fierce hug. "Stupid girl, just get ready already. I barely have enough mana to teleport!"
A shocked Iris hesitantly accepted the offer, and got ready. She linked her left arm with mine and her right with Megumin. Meanwhile, I had stepped on Aqua- I mean, linked my arms with Aqua while Megumin had step- crossed her arms with Darkness.
Wait a minute. Iris and I looked at each other. Seemingly, we both had the same thought.
Megumin could cast teleport?
We had no time to think as the King had broken through the formation and was rushing towards us in a rage.
"...to teleport me and my comrades to Axel so I, the-! crimsondemonwhoisknownasMegumincanshowcasehersplenDOUR TELEPORTTT!"
A bright blue flash of light enveloped us, and whisked us off to home, helping us narrowly avoid potential death at the hands of the King of Belzerg.
…
I looked around. We were back in Wiz's shop in Axel. However, I couldn't hear the usual bickering of the two. I tried to get up and stretch but was held down on both sides by Iris and Megumin. Megumin hugged me, and pressed her head into my chest.
"I didn't know spending just a day away from you could hurt this much, idiot.", she whispered in a soft tone, to the point where I had to strain my ears just to listen to her.
I began to tear up, and wrapped the arm she was holding, around her, pulling her closer into a half-embrace. Iris too was hugging me, but she was silent.
Poor girl. I'm a sexual harasser but I have standards. At the very least, I've never sexually harassed my own underage daughter. Though if she had big boobs...hehe...
No,no,no. Bad Kazuma. I'm not a lolicon after all.
I kissed Megumin's head and asked her," How did you manage getting Aqua and Darkness with you so quickly? I thought Aqua would be dead drunk in the middle of Alcanretia and Darkness would be harassing some of her maids."
"Oh? No,no, they were in Axel. They never left. Please don't tell me you actually bought that excuse of 'dating you for a dare', Kazuma."
"Ah-um. Of course not! What, do you take your boyfriend to be an idiot? Pfft, I saw through it all you loli tsundere- OW, WHY ARE YOU BITING ME? Oh this doesn't feel so bad after all."
"Hmph. I do not blame you. After all, a plot contrived by a crimson demon such as myself is far too complex for mere mortals to comprehend. Fear not, mortal, for I shall teach you the ways of the Crimson Demon soon enough!"
"I see, thank you, Mrs. Chuunibyou."
"I notice the addition of Mrs., onii-sama.", someone said as I heard another soft whisper next to me.
"IRIS! You're up! Are you alright? Do you need anything? Are you really really ok after what that scumbag did?", Megumin started off by relentlessly questioning her.
"Megumin, calm down. Iris, you can stay with us for as long as you need, until the situation back home settles down, ok? So you can relax!", I consoled her and assuaged her fears.
"T-thank you so much, onii-sama, Megu-nee. I really appreciate- it-", she started off, thanking us, like the good noble she was, but she broke down into tears midway.
Instinctively, Megumin and I jumped in to hug her, and pulled her towards ourselves.
I patted her head, and so did Megumin.
Neither of us could tell her it would be okay, because we didn't know if it would.
But at the very least, we could comfort her and tell her, through our actions, that we were there for her.
Poor Iris. I couldn't, and wouldn't marry her, but I vowed to myself that I would do my best to be there for her, like a good brother would.
…