A/N: Okay… I have a feeling that there will be tears in the chapter. Some from me… and a lot from my readers. I hate writing about sad things… it's just not me. I've a very happy person most of the time. Okay well here it goes.

Chapter 17

The grief was back in his eyes as they portrayed the image of a warrior, someone who had to be strong for others, those of a guardian angel. "Bella, I don't know what to say."

I watched the emotions play across his face. All I knew that his hurt was my hurt. Just watching him was killing me softly.

I knew one thing was for sure; the doubt was once again plainly on his face.

"Then don't say it." I placed a finger on his lips not wanting to know what the unspoken words were. "I don't want to here them."

He kissed my finger lightly and held my hand up to his cheek. "Bella, my squadron…"

I knew what he was going to say. I could almost bet on it. I looked up at him as the salty drops lingered in my eyes. I shook my head mouthing the word no. I didn't want to here it.

"… they've called us to war." His quiet words felt like a knife into my side.

I shook my head 'no' as I went into a daze. The world seemed to get heavier and I half expected it to start to rain. I waited for the impact to sink in but it was if I was stripped of all emotion.

"Bella?" Edward's face was now full of concern.

"Yes?" My voice was shaky and it started cracking.

"Are you okay?" He reached out his hand to brush a strand of hair behind my ear.

"No." An unrecognizable squeak came out of my throat.

"Bella…" He was giving me my distance.

"Just hold me." I pleaded.

He scooted next to me and pulled me into his arms as I cried into his chest. His resolve was wearing and soon tears were falling out of his eyes and wetting the back of my neck. It was hard to feel vulnerable in his arms. He was my shield and my pillar. He was the only thing holding me on the Earth.

"Edward." I said his name through the tears.

"I know love, I know." His words seemed little comfort to the situation.

I pulled away from him to look into his eyes. "You promised. Remember that Edward Anthony Masen! You promised you would always come back for me."

He ran his thumb over my cheek caressing it lightly. "Always, I promise."

It was dark when we left. This felt like just another thing for Edward and me, just another obstacle to overcome. First we had boot camp, and now he was going off to war. I would also be fighting a war. The only difference was that my war was internally. I was in a battle against my inner being. The questions that I didn't want to think of seemed to over power the others. I wouldn't be risking my life, both of our lives.

When we reached my house I was reluctant to go. Edward urged me out the truck. "Go, I'll be back later." He paused. "Wait, you have mascara stains under your eyes." He leaned over and wiped the black gupe from under my eyes.

I nodded and gave him a quick kiss before plastering a fake smile on for Charlie. It was all for Charlie. I had always pretended to be someone I wasn't for him. My goal for that instant was to let Charlie think I was happy. I grabbed my book bag out of the back of the truck and headed into the masquerade.

"Bells? Is that you?" Charlie called from the living room.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah Dad, sorry I was late. Edward picked me up from school and I guess we lost track of time."

"That's fine, I ordered pizza. It's in the oven." He walked toward me and took a quick glance at me. "Are you okay Bells?"

I pursed my lips in a tight line and nodded my head. "Yep, just perfect."

He raised an eyebrow as if he didn't believe me and then just shrugged it off. "Okay, whatever you say. I'm going to go watch the game."

Good old Charlie. "I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the pizza from the oven and headed up to my room. I jumped onto the bed knocking the pizza box on the floor and clutched onto my fuzzy pillow and my blankey. I needed all the comfort I could get.

I had lost my appetite with just the thought of Edward at war. Sure, I was proud of him. I appreciated everything he and his peers did for our country… but I was too selfish for the country's well being. But hey, maybe this country needs some selfishness nowadays.

I sat up until two in the morning waiting for him to come; yet he never did. Charlie had gotten up to get a drink of water and I guess he saw my light on. He stuck his head in and asked what I was doing up so late and I just told him I was doing homework. Yeah, you know the homework in English. The stuff that's in my book bag across the room. Yeah, that homework.

He had told me to go to bed so I did. My head fell on the pillow and I figured I would have to get use to Edward not being there to hold me when I slept. He only did it on occasion and mostly when Charlie wasn't home.

I woke the next morning late, rolled over, and looked out the window. It was raining… hard. The thunder cracked and I jumped at the sound. What a perfectly dreary day. My phone buzzed and I looked at the caller ID. It read Jake. I flipped it open and Jake's husky voice came through the phone.

"Bella?" He sounded tired, restless.

"Hey Jake." I said with less enthusiasm then intended.

"Hey, listen… Edward's…" He hesitated as if trying to find the right word combination. "Not himself."

I was really confused. "Yeah, tell me about it." I wasn't about to tell Jake that Edward was supposed to sneak in last night.

"No, seriously. He's… hung over." Jake spat out the words like they were burnt broccoli.

Anger over came the shock that was clouding my head. "What? How the hell did he get drunk?"

Again Jake hesitated. "Well, Embry and Quil got a hold on some beers and it kind of escalated from there?"

"A couple?" I growled.

Jake chuckled. "Chill Bella, okay it was like five or six… six packs." He said the last part through his teeth.

I rolled my eyes. "Where is he?"

Jake just laughed. "One the beach… naked."

I groaned. "It's storming outside! He could get hurt." I paused. "Come pick me up and I'll come get him."

Jake's voice relaxed. "Okay, sure thing. I'll be there in fifteen."

I flipped the phone shut and couldn't help but laugh. Jake always had that effect on me. I couldn't help but smile when I was with him. I pulled myself out of bed and threw my hair up in a messy bun and then washed my face. I pulled on some jeans and a quarter length blue shirt.

After getting dressed I ran downstairs to find once again another note left on the table.

Going to Seattle to take my test and get the cruiser checked. Be home late.

-Charlie

I had forgotten that Charlie had to take his officer test today. He was supposed to leave early this morning. I sighed and picked up the paper placing it in the trashcan. I grabbed a granola bar and shrugged on my raincoat when I heard the high-pitched beep of Jake's rabbit.

I walked on to the porch and closed the door behind me shoving my phone into my pocket. Taking a deep breath I dashed out into the wet bullets and made it to Jake's rabbit completely drenched. I stepped inside and Jake laughed.

"You look like a wet kitten." He gave me a goofy grin.

I glared at him. "Ha ha Jake. That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

I pulled off my raincoat and balled it up throwing it on the floor while we drove. The rain seemed to lighten up a little bit.

Jake broke the silence. "I'm going to miss you Bells."

I elbowed him and smiled weakly. "I'm going to miss you too."

He glanced at me and sighed. "Dang, Edward's lucky."

I laughed. "Oh really?"

His smile was sincere. "Yeah, completely."

We pulled up to Jake's house. "So where is he?"

Jake pointed off to the side of his house. "Just go through that path there." He reached behind him to hand me some of his old clothes. "You might need these."

I slid my raincoat back on even though it was only a light drizzle and then stepped out of the car. I walked toward the path and the rain decided to stop completely. That's the Olympic Peninsula weather for you… completely unpredictable.

I walked under the nature arch that the tree limps had made and found myself stepping out onto the wet sand. My eyes scanned the beach until I found a pair of perfect cheeks. I took a second to enjoy my view and then blushing walked down the beach to wake him. As I approached him I debated on how to wake him.

I shook his shoulder lightly and he groaned. "Five more minutes sarg."

I giggled and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Excuse me sir, this isn't a nude beach."

Edward's head popped up and his face instantly turned maroon. "Um, I can explain."

I tried to stifle a laugh but it didn't work because I busted out laughing throwing him the dry clothes. "Put on the clothes wonder boy."

A/N: Okay, so given the situation of Edward leaving and junk… I thought he needed a night with the boys. Apparently drunken Edward is a real partier! So how many people cried? I hope not many… although it does make me happy on the inside that my writing has that much of an impact on people!

Well you know the drill… leave a message after the beep… wait never mind…. Review!

Kayla