Disclaimer: NOOOOO...for the umpteenth time. Ya know what's strange though, when I write this stuff, I feel like I do. Edward and Bella get inside my head and just do and say things and then I record them...it's weird. Oh, lookie, ROBERT PATTISON PICTURES ON THE INTERNET!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...Words can't describe.

Bella1680: Thanks...Will do.

Nobodyparticular: I knowwww...i loved writing that part. He can stop my truck anytime...(sighs dreamily) O and THEY KICKED A!! GO WAYNE!

Shannon: Muchos gracias. How long did it take...out of curiosity.

InLoveWithYouForever: Why yes, Edward, I am...lol. That's quite alright. I was just feeling unapreciated there for a moment or two. Thanks for reviewing. O and here, (hands you a cushion) put that on top of them...nevermind that the needles go through the fabric...and you might want to get some neosporin for those puncture wounds.

Munu: IIII reeallllyyyy want Emmett to do the ceremony...sadly, well, just read the chapter. Alice has a mind of her own. Thanks. You inspired a bit in this chap.

Twilightfan9748: sadly no...two chaps away. Maybe one. Thanks for the review.

XCullenlovex: Thank you, thank you very much...elvis style. Unfortunately, they're not out of the woods yet.

Ten past midnight: and WHYYYY exactly have you not posted this brilliance that is your Edward Bella Skirt Bicycle Vegas story. Are they wearing kilt skirts or just...minis? Details, midnight, details! O and thanks...i think. Sorry for getting your hopes up...lol

Meya Rose: You wanna know something. Somehow, your review makes me feel the specialist. Watching you leave comments from one word to emoticons to full sentences...REALLY, nonsarcastically makes my day. Much thanks.

Thefuturemrs.edwardcullen: omg...CREATIVE your story that i just read is very. Sorry that came out a bit jumbled. What's your email? It didn't show up. Haha cough long cough indeed. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU MAKE MY LIFE...once again and have you, perchance, happened to have read East of Eden?

SS: Thanks. I like specific complements if that makes any sense. ALICE THE WEDDING PLANNER-ZILLA...edward has just realeased her onto an unsuspecting fictional world. Dun dun dun. Ur right. You guys help oodles. No idea how many ideas you've given me.

Kersicca: wow. If i ever write a book or song or make candy bars...i think i might- dedicate/name them after- it - to you. That was the best review ive ever gotten. I literaly hugged my computer screen for a week...Pretend like it was you. That review made up for all the ones i havent gotten...if that makes any sense. ILY. Lol stephenie meyer incarnate. You really think so? When you're a vampire, don't eat me, okay?. I AM STILL ON LOCKDOWN> FRED IS A SINGING PERVE. Where the hell is pjotter? When he gets here, I don't care if he can get me out, I'm going to strangle him with the rags and flamingo feathers that i get for bedding in this joint. About the kate thing, read authors note. How, exactly, would i mail you? Email address? Is there some secret way of doing this that i don't know about?! Carrier pigeons maybe?

INVX: those smirfs... do not. I repeat. DO NOT give them sugar under any circumstances. Watch it. They'll wheedle it out of you. Hasn't larry gotten there yet? I put blinders on him before i set him out. He tends to get sidetracked by trees, but maybe he found a nice cedar and got distracted. LARRY GO TO INVX> glad you enjoyed the skittles. THANKS!! ILY... And bouncy rooms have to be infinitely better than being in a prison cell with an nsync singing pervert named fred in the middle of lake erie...(read mine and kersica's convo...be afraid)

Em: Mathew...ooooo maybe ill get purple in my hair now. They stuffed phillip in a big box with lots of fluffy peanuts, so he arrived half suffocated but safe. I realllyyyyy want to put him in my story somewhere. Maybe in off the job. With your permission of course. AND btw, phillip is turning out to be gymnastics challenged. His real talent turns about to be playing the harmonica. It's actually quite annoying. He flies over my town playing his harmonica. He's like a flying purple ball of western misery. THANKS AGAIN!! LY

Chapter 16

No mater how much I nagged at Edward, trying to beat into his thick head the fact that I was sane again and was perfectly willing to comply with the speed limit set down by our great town, Edward simply refused to let me drive.

As we pulled up to the Cullen's place, I was still sulking in the passenger's seat.

Edward had warned me beforehand about the emotional onslaught I would experience when I walked through the door. Carlisle was still feeling overwhelmingly guilty about the man Josius had forced him to kill. Robert Jenkinson was his name. 42. The obituary had said that he had been brutally mauled by a bear. Thinking about the extent of damage Josius had made Carlisle inflict the amount of damage Josius could have made Edward inflict on me, made me shudder.

Jasper was apparently channeling this guilt, along with everyone else's and his own. Edward told me that he had played a major part in Leah's death along with Rosalie.

THEYYYY didn't kill anyone, my mind reprimanded. In my opinion, Josius had been the sole reason behind any fatalities.

Anyway, I couldn't see why Jasper just didn't take a break for a while and leave. It would probably be better for everyone.

When I asked Edward about this, he only shrugged.

As he shifted my truck into park, I asked him one question that had been weighing on my mind. "Did the Denali's leave?"

"Most of them," he replied ambiguously, a dark undercurrent surging behind his words.

I was nearly about to press him for more when I was abruptly grabbed by two cold hands. Oh, no – Alice.

"What are you thinking?" she cried. "Moving the wedding up to tomorrow? That's absurd. Ludicrous. That's ridiculous. That's..."

"Necessary," Edward supplied curtly.

Her eyes were amber slits. She had clearly fed since I last saw her. "Necessary? I'll tell you what's necessary! Catering and decorations and bridesmaid dresses and time," she counted the things off on her fingers, "and little bags with rice in them. The invitations have already been mailed. What am I supposed tot tell the entire town of Forks when they show up next weak expecting a wedding? Oh, sorry, the bride and groom went loopy and you missed it?"

I should have known that she would have a meltdown.

"The only two things we really need are Bella and I," Edward countered, coming to stand beside me supportively.

"And there is plenty of time to cancel," I added, "The only other people I really want there are Renee and Charlie. I can call my mom and tell her. She can catch a late flight."

I could tell by the way Alice's eyes moved that she was scanning the future, seeing if her words had made a dent in our decision. "We still need a priest," she grudgingly informed us finally.

I smiled a little. Tomorrow I would be a married woman.

My mind tried unsuccessfully to wrap around that little tidbit with total and complete joy. Oh, I was ready. I just wasn't necessarily happy about being ready. Marriage still equated death sentence in my mind. Ignore the pun.

Muttering something about how she was going to throw me off a cliff as soon as I was changed, Alice stalked away.

I glanced at Edward. "We getting married?" I asked him. Surely he would have seen Alice's mind.

He nodded, his onyx eyes unfathomably deep. "It's going to be beautiful. You're going to be beautiful."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Cheater. You're not supposed to see the wedding dress before the wedding."

He glanced down at me with surprise. "I thought you didn't care."

"Yeah, well, that was before I got excited about this whole mess."

His lips twisted into my all-time favorite grin. "It only took you eight months, four days, fourteen hours, and three near-death experiences since my initial proposal. On the day before the wedding."

"Not that you've been counting down or anything," I teased.

He shrugged, "You only get married once."

"Unless you're a polygamist."

He snickered. "Well, I for one am only getting married once."

"Yeah, you better," I muttered, beginning to walk towards the house.

"Remember what I told you," he murmured, right before he opened the door.

Remember, I did. Prepared for it, I was not. Unwelcome water droplets cascaded down my cheeks as soon as I crossed the threshold. The Cullen house was like an oversized onion. Guilt for everything I had ever done wrong in my life consumed me.

Disgustingly clingy Bella reinhabited my body, and I latched onto Edward's cotton shirt.

"I'm sorry!" I sobbed, "for not being excited about the wedding. And for kissing Jake. And for stealing your jacket!"

I was a volcano of tears.

He patted my back. "It's all right Bella. I've forgiven you for all that...Wait. You stole my jacket?"

"It...it...it smelled good!" I wailed.

I could feel Edward chuckle.

Burying my face deeper into his side, I sobbed harder. "This...isn't...isn't funny!"

"You're right," he replied, tone suddenly sobered. "It's not. Jasper."

I knew that speaking was as good as yelling in the Cullen house.

I felt a swift rush of air, and then heard a door slamming. I felt bad for running Jasper out of his own house, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful. As quickly as they had come, the waterworks stopped.

I glared at Edward. "Why weren't you affected?" I demanded.

"I suppose you could say I've built up a sort of immunity to it. It still influences me. It just takes more time for it to wear me down. Now..." he started, raising one perfect eyebrow, "my jacket?"

I could feel the blood rising to my cheek.

"I've been wondering where that went," he pondered aloud.

"Well, you're going to wonder some more, because I'm hiding it and you're never getting it back."

Truthfully, I wasn't joking. When Edward had to go hunting with his brothers, I had developed an uncharacteristically gooey habit of sleeping with that jacket of his.

"Well after tomorrow," he reminded, "all my clothes will technically be yours."

I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss his nose. "And that Edward, is why I'm marrying you. So I can smell you whenever I want to."

"Glad to know it's not because you're madly in love with me and don't know what you'd do without me," he said sarcastically.

I pretended to contemplate for a second. "I guess that, too."

He rolled his eyes, then pulled out his sleek cell phone. "It's time," he said ominously.

Glaring, honestly dreading what I was about to do, I snatched it out of his hands and dialed Renee's number.

"Mom..." I started tentatively when the dial tone stopped.

"Who is this?"

"Bella...Listen, can you catch a flight to Forks tonight?" I asked, using the most innocent sounding voice I could muster.

"Is it an emergency?" Her tone was worried.

Looking at Edward, I replied, "Sortof...Depends on what your definition of emergency is...and on – on whether or not you want to see your daughter get married."

I said the words quickly. The pool took less time to get used to if you just cannonballed in.

"Isabella Marie Swan! I'm not even ready. I can't believe you would do this. It's bad enough that your getting married this soon as it is, but..."

I held the receiver away from my ear, not keen on hearing the rest of her scolding. So maybe, I had forgotten to take in account that the pool in question was at 1,000 degrees below 0, and no matter how much one stayed in, no matter how one got in, they were going to get hypothermia...and then get very, very, very angry at whoever pushed them in the first place.

"Mom," I snapped angrily, putting the phone back to my ear, "I'm getting married tomorrow, like it or not. If everything else hasn't, you are not going to change my mind. So, if you want to see your only daughter's wedding, be here tomorrow at six-thirty. Love you. Bye."

Then I flipped the phone close with a snap, and handed it back to my day-away husband.

Edward looked at me funny. "That was a little harsh," he said slowly.

I knew that. He didn't have to remind me. I sighed. "I know, but that's what had to be done."

"Come on," he grabbed my hand, beginning to pull me up the stairs.

We headed towards Carlisle's office. Inside I could hear raised voices. "Just when we actually need those dogs, they can't help us," I could hear Emmett yell.

Edward hurriedly opened the door. Immediately, Emmett and Carlisle stopped whatever conversation they were having. Whatever it was, they must have been engrossed in it. They actually appeared slightly flustered...well, as flustered as it is possible for vampires to look.

"What do you need the werewolves for?" I asked suspiciously.

Edward answered for them. "It's not important."

I was about to demand answers, but Edward once again interceded me. "Carlisle, we were wondering if you would do us a favor."

My brows pulled together. "We?"

I'd ask him about the wolf thing later.

He ignored me. "I know it's a bit sudden and untraditional, but since we moved the date up, we seem to have a lack of available priests, and seeing as you're the only one in the family with a license, we were wondering if..."

He didn't have to finish. "I'd love to," Carlisle answered. He was beaming.

"Awww man," Emmett cried, "Can't I do it?"

"When pigs fly," Edward replied tersely.

"Can you?" I asked my almost-brother, more out of curiosity than actually wanting him to perform the ceremony. Like Edward said, when pigs fly. The twelfth of never on the day that pigs fly.

Emmett grinned, "Hello people. It's called the Internet."

"Emmett, they are not getting married by a guy who got his license off Ebay," Alice said suddenly, before turning to look at me. "Bella. Bacheolerettes party. Now!"

Who was I to fight with that demanding stare?

"Oh yeah, bro," Emmett told Edward. "I almost forgot. Let the misery begin."

I was violently dragged out the door to my doom.

As Alice tugged me down the paneled hallway, the shock of how quickly everything was back to normal hit.

But remembering the emotional attack earlier, I shook my head at this thought. Nothing was back to normal. Everyone was just putting on appearances.

Right now, I was a little angry with Alice for dragging me away from my fiancee. I still had so many questions. About the honeymoon and the change. Where I would get the money to pay for the two hand-sized dents in the back of my truck...And why the hell did they need werewolves all of a sudden? Which reminded me...I had to see Jake one last time before tomorrow.

When my feet hit the bottom stair, I spied a persona non grata, or should I say vampira non grata, standing near the opposite wall. The mouth of this river of problems that had escalated in the past week.

"Tanya."

"Make it quick," Alice spat to her. "We have things to do."

She approached me slowly, having the good sense to avert her eyes in shame.

"I honestly never meant to endanger any of this coven," she started. The words sounded forced though, and I hadn't missed how she put emphasis on "this coven". As in, not me.

I glared. I wouldn't say it was okay.

"And then, Kate. We had to burn her...she was beyond help..." For once, she actually sounded sorrowful. "Truly, I...apologize," she ground out. I knew that she wasn't sorry for anything she'd done to me though.

I nodded. "Thank you...for – saving him."

She gave me a puzzled look. "Him?"

"He wouldn't have lived if I hadn't."

Alice tapped the invisible watch on her wrist. "Time's up."

Holding on to her last strands of dignity, Tanya held her chin up and prissed out of the house.

"Alice," I groaned, turning to look at her, "Do we have to do this?"

"Don't. Start." She said acidly.

A/N: i don't know what you call this...filler? but there were some important clues in there if you knew where to look. Phew...anyways. Thanks for the support. So, I really just can't resist writing about Edward/Bella moments. The idea was that Kate was damaged beyond repair. Even if they had put her back together, she would have been strange looking, which to a succubus, would be a living hell...or well...I guess an unliving hell. So, they just put her out of her misery. And I just realized. I haven't told you almost anything about the malinaught and Irina. Here I am, walking around with this whole story in my head about them, thinking you all know it too, but then you don't. I'll have to get to that eventually. Also, do you guys like the reviewer shout outs, or would you rather i messaged you personally??