Disclaimer: Ah, sweet, sweet disclaimers. How I loathe thee...
I'm honored and thrilled beyond words that you all have kept reviewing. I just relized about five minutes ago that this chapter was ready, and seeing as it's been so long, I decided to go ahead and get it out to you. Reviewer shoutouts will start regularly with the next chapter. I will do reviewer replies on the ones for the first half of this chapter, and get to the ones for the one before THAT as soon as I can. I've been busy like crazy though lately, so... Again, thank you! I, your humble authoress, do not deserve such things...
Chapter ThirtyNine PartTwo ACTUALLY
I knew I would have to return eventually, seeing as I had no money and the little red arrow was a few notches from empty, but I dreaded it with every fiber of my being.
The wide, rectangular headlights lit up my rearview mirror near midnight, as I knew they would. Alice couldn't have kept him at bay forever.
I was assured of the fact that the ghost car was indeed a Volvo when we passed out of the forest into a small clearing, the serenity of the place marred by cement and yellow, painted stripes. The moon hung on a glowing crescent hook inches above the tree tops, and I saw the gleaming silver metal of Edward's car for a moment, before we drove on into the shadows.
I was genuinely surprised he wasn't following me on foot or stopping this vehicle with his bare hands, although it probably had something to do with the million or so dollar cash difference between the Camaro and my old truck. Then again, maybe he was waiting till I was ready to talk to him.
Whatever the reason, he stayed a steady, constant distance behind my Washington state tags.
I sped up, he sped up. I slowed down, he slowed down. Finally, impatient and irritated, I slammed on the breaks and hitched a U-turn. My tires squealed deafeningly. I was sure black skid marks were left on the pavement. I left the red Volvo brake lights in the distance, spewing gravel in my wake.
He wanted crazy?
I'd give him crazy.
For a while, he seemed to take the hint, but I knew he wouldn't stay away for long. Peering at my gas gauge, I noticed that it was on empty. Great. I was running on vapors. Now he'd have to come, and I wouldn't have any choice but to ride back with him.
For the fiftieth time, I glanced in my rearview mirror. Coming around the last bend I had taken was what looked like a mass of something a few shades lighter than its surroundings.
I squinted my eyes to try to block out the whispers that started again.
Of course... I sighed. Edward was still following me. He'd just switched his headlights off, what with having perfect night vision as a built-in feature and all.
Just a little bit, I hoped that a deer would step out in front of him and wreck that stupid car of his.
When I felt the Camaro start to putter, I pressed down on the button that would lock my doors and stopped in the middle of the back road. There wasn't room to pull over to the side. A bank of thick green vegetation hemmed it in.
I leaned back in the seat, closed my eyes, and waited. The well-prepared-for tap on my window came seconds later, but I didn't react. Like a child, I feigned sleep, playing opossum. According to him, I needed the rest anyhow.
"I apologize, Bella," I heard him say, muffled slightly by the barrier separating us. "I... you know I only want to do what's best for you."
I knew that, but he wasn't my father. He was taking his old-fashioned policies a bit too far, overreacting as always. My fists clenched in anger. I could make my own choices.
However, I kept my countenance sleep-like, eyelids shut, lips relaxed.
"Bella, I'm sorry!" he cried.
And I couldn't help it. The panic in his tone made me cringe.
"Roll down the window. Please!"
"Why?" I shouted. "So you can knock me over the head and cart me off to a mental facility?"
He took a step back from the window, whether surprised by the venom in my voice or the fact that I honestly had the intellectual capabilities to string together a sentence, I didn't know.
Shock shone on his face plain as day, even though it was dark as pitch outside. His pallor stood out.
"I can't apologize enough," he continued quietly. "I made a horrendous mistake, but I can't just let you sit out here all night."
"I really don't have a problem with it."
"Well I do!" he retorted. "I'm married to you, and I love you, and I want you to come back home. Please will you come back home?"
"What choice do I have?" I asked. That was the keystone question, it seemed.
Edward sighed and kicked at something in the road. "You always have a choice," he said. "If you choose to stay here though, I'm staying with you. Know that."
"Then you'll be standing outside all night," I said calmly.
"You think that's a problem for me?"
"No," I said, and then muttered under my breath, "but it's a problem for me."
I still hadn't forgiven him for trying to tranquilize me.
"Do you truly want me to go?" he asked after several minutes.
I looked at him. "No," I said, so quiet I could barely hear myself. For him however, it must have rang loud and clear, because he smiled one of his dazzlers.
"Then, please Bella, will you let me in the car?"
"What are you, cold?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
He wrapped his arms around himself and pretended to shiver. "Freezing," he said with added emphasis.
I smiled a little at the joke, reached over, and pulled on the latch to the passenger's side door.
Edward was in the seat beside me before I could say… well, anything at all really.
As soon as he had shut the door, I pushed a button to make the back of my seat automatically recline. Then, I closed my eyes, wanting to go to sleep in the good old natural, non medication-induced way.
I could feel his burning gaze though, and I imagined it was something akin to what leaves must feel when a magnifying glass is focusing the Sun's energy onto their green surface. There were twin pinpoints of topaz fire boring into my cheek.
Was that smoke I smelled?
"Bella…" he said.
I declined acknowledgment.
"You're not really going to sleep here, are you?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Why not?"
"It can't be comfortable."
My spine was at an awkward angle and my neck was starting to hurt, but I stretched my arms and yawned like I was the most content person on the face of the Earth.
"Very, actually," I lied.
"What if someone hits the car?" he asked, and I grudgingly had to admit he had a point. "It's dark and you don't have any lights."
With the push of a button, my parking brakes lit up. I closed my eyes again and snuggled into the leather. This time, an orangey kind of glow was under my eyelids instead of the much-preferred black nothingness. I tried my very best to ignore it though and fall asleep.
"You're not tired," he said.
"According to you, I am."
That shut him up. He didn't utter a single word for nearly ten minutes.
The next words he uttered were whispered huskily into my ear.
"What if I were to want you very badly right now?"
After a few seconds of being stupefied, I shrugged. "What if?"
He brushed his lips over the swirl of my ear. "Would you let me have you?"
Ignoring the rather persistent part of my mind screaming 'Oh yes, Edward. Have your way with me in the backseat' took an impressive amount of effort, but I did it.
A much, much meaner part responded to his question. "Do I really have a choice?"
I couldn't help it. I still felt so not-trusted. I still remembered the helpless feeling of having Edward hold me there against my will, while Carlisle walked towards me with the needle.
Edward pulled away immediately. "Of… of course. Bella, I would never… do such a thing without your consent."
I looked at him. What I'd said to him was crossing the line, and I knew it.
He was still babbling brokenly. "I mean… I… I couldn't ever, ever force you to… Do you really think of me so lowly? I mean…it's about time, but notwithstanding, do you?"
I raised my hand and put the palm of it to his cold cheek. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Of course I don't think of you like that. I'm just angry."
"With me," he said.
I sighed. "With everything."
Edward nodded and turned away, keeping his hands balled into fists in his lap. I had really, really crossed the line.
Unhooking my seatbelt, I slid across the gearshift to straddle Edward's hips. I must have sincerely injured his feelings because his hands stayed where they were, and he didn't meet my eye.
So, I did the only thing a desperate, half crazy, love starved girl could do in that moment. I kissed him, open mouthed, on the lips. It took several tries before he responded, but he responded with a fury. One hand yanked my lower back while the other grabbed handfuls of my mussed up hair.
I clung to his face for dear life as our lips moved together.
I shifted slightly, and he groaned. A blush bathed my face and neck in pink.
I moved one hand down to rest on his thigh, and then moved it up slowly.
Its movement stopped when my fingers felt something long and thin in Edward's front pocket. Edward froze as well. Feeling my way along the stick, I found what I was looking for yet hoped I wouldn't find – a plunger.
Edward had a syringe in his front pocket.
Lungs inflated finally, and then deflated just as fast, until I was panting heavily. My eyes were wide as they stared at Edward's cringing face.
"It's not…" he started, but couldn't finish the sentence.
Pushing the door open, I bolted from the car. All along, he'd just wanted me to let him in so he could try to sedate me again. He must have had a plan for its use. Syringes didn't just grow legs and walk into people's front pockets, now did they?
I pushed my way past the underbrush, and scrambled up the bank. Running was useless against a vampire, I knew, but I ran anyway.
The forest was dark and smelled heady with rain. It wasn't the kind of place a lone girl wanted to be forced into by her mistrustful husband, but there I was.
I pushed my way past ferns and obstructive branches, hissing when they rescraped one of my various wounds, hearing the scampering away of animals I had disturbed. I ran until I tripped over a tree branch.
My arms, not Edward's, caught my fall. I was surprised he let me get this far, that I didn't have medicine rushing through my veins right now.
I stayed where I was, on the ground, but I sat up so I could at least be somewhat warned of his inevitable approach.
Funny… I looked forward to it just a day ago.
I saw his feet first, stepping out into a patch of moonbeams the canopy had made room for. Then, I saw his perfect legs, followed by his lean torso, and then finally, his flawless face.
"You're treating me like an animal!" I screamed.
Edward winced, and then reached into his front pocket and slowly pulled out the object.
I'd been right about its identity.
I closed my eyes.
"Go ahead," I said acidly. "Do what you came here to do."
I heard Edward's slow, cautious footsteps crunching dead leaves as he ambled towards me. Wind rushed past my face when he knelt down in front of me. My facial muscles contracted when I felt a sharp pain stab my arm.
Then, I waited to black out.
I kept on waiting for a few minutes.
At last, I opened my eyes to gaze at Edward. His orbs were laughing, and he had that lopsided smile on his face.
"For Christ's sake, how long does it take for this stuff to work?"
This time, he threw his head back and laughed outright. "It is working, Bella. Or at least I hope so."
"I don't think so or I'd be a whole lot less… cognizant right now."
Edward held up the emptied syringe.
"Pen-i-cill-in," he stressed, "in case the knives you fell on weren't properly sanitized."
I blinked several times, my stare blank as a whitewashed fence.
Edward continued speaking. "I'm perfectly certain that Alice herself removed any sedative items in the house: sleeping pills, morphine, any ammonia based items… But I'd already decided that I'd never do that again. I made a terrible mistake in trying to do that to you. You wanted to sleep, and I could scarcely abide listening to some of your thoughts. It was selfish and stupid, and I couldn't dream of your forgiveness."
"Of course you couldn't," I said coyly.
He gave me a look so heart wrenching, it nearly split my soul in halves.
I finished quickly. "You can't dream of anything."