TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! THANK YOU!
mahoakitti: thanks! I'm glad you think it's awesome! I love to hear from new people as well as my usual reviewers!
sakuzi-chan: wow! I'm glad you reviewed - I don't mind ranting/raving at all! It's very encouraging to hear from new people! I'm glad you liked everything - and even understood what Yukio is for! I hope you enjoy this update! And yes, Sakura is going to get with Kakashi... but I like my romances to be realistically drawn out... I don't think short 'jump in the bed' arc lines aren't good for novels like this... I hope you enjoy my two prequels - they are kind of more pedantic than this one - not as 'hyped', really. But if you read them, alot of GL will make sense. Seriously.
uniquelove: a new reviewer! hmmm... I'm glad you succumbed and enjoyed yourself. How do you find it deep? Just curious. I'm not in Psych. but I find that as a writer, I have free rein to explore the screwed up human mind. I hope you enjoy what's coming up! Thanks for reviewing!
ocher/chidori maniac: glad you're excited! This chappie is more laid back... but I hope it's enjoyable regardless.
hana megami: his humanity is like a see-saw. but then, somewhere in Paul's epistles (Bible ref), there's a mention about doing what you shouldn't do, and not doing what you should. it's very sad to be so conflicted. but hopefully, it's all going to turn out ok. as for Rock... I was hoping to pack more punch into this chappie - but this chappie hates me... gak! writer's block, begone!
americanidiot14: another new reviewer! I'm glad you liked it and thought it was cool. Sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing...
snowfall: yes. Yukio is rather nasty. (sigh) I don't know why I created him - except to create conflict. and you must admit... he's doing a great job! and there's the whole aspect of knowing/not knowing. I love that whole idea. to be honest, it was a let down for me in that new Superman movie - it left me wanting to write a fanfic about Superman's life undercover. Because it's the whole 'undercover' that makes the tension. The whole, "It can't possibly be him...", "where's Kent gone?" etc etc. In this case, it's "who's that woman in the photo?", "what is Kakashi hiding?" etc etc. just love that kind of stuff. (perhaps why I enjoyed stuff like "Krapp's Last Tape" and "The Matrix")
kittycatcharm: well, this chappie is due to you. You and your cyber-poking. It made me realize that I'd been distracted too long with other things (read: Trinity Blood, Samurai Champloo, Samurai Champloo AMV-ing etc etc) ah. well. here goes! Hope you enjoy!
I Can't Believe I'm Not Anime: Another new reviewer! Wow! They just come out of the woodwork! Well! I hope you enjoy the rest of this fic. Even though they've changed, I'm glad you find them, IC. I hate OOC stuff... where Sasuke is all giggly and moony ... although... parody is fine. I love parody - or comedy. You always need to laugh! POTC all the way! Although, my Sakura is different. (post time-skip) which I justify with the war. Hah! I can't stand wimpy!Sakura...
inquisitive: glad you enjoyed! the interactions between all of them are kind of hard to recreate - but in the end, it's necessary. Action always helps, right? well... this time around I found it really difficult. This chapter was a bugger. man. but then, b/c of the filler crap we've been getting, I've started to look at other anime, and I get distracted. seriously, that Kakashi gaiden better get out fast or I'm going to go ballistic. we need chibiKakashi cuteness! and angst.
Shadow Dragon Boss: the suspense... yeah... sadly... never mind. i' not going to say more - but... hang in there! actions and reactions coming up soon! thanks for taking the time to review!
sabireru: sorry for the wait! Ahhhkkk! it's been crazy - my job and all - but things are going to get moving sometime! hope you're enjoying vacation. no vacation for me this year, b/c I have to work all summer for school. ha! well! we'll see about that! Genma/Kaka fics are so hot.
Darkflameangel: Kakashi in bed floating around in my head would get me excited too! I got a poster of him above my head, above my bed. Yep. Obssessive much? Injured!Kakashi, Injured!Genma are always hot. my favorite. and soon it'll be August and soon we'll have cute chibi!Kakashi and smexy!Yond-y on screen! Squuueeeee! - ahem... yes. (cough) back to GL. Thanks for the rave review! I was encouraged to press on!
Sanity through Madness: WAAA! Plushies! I need to get one! And as for cosplay pics - sure! send'em over! Thanks for sending the review - whatever kind it is! I'm glad you liked the previous stories. Not as good as this one though! Ha! I'm getting better... (sideways glance and blush) I think... but it's cool!
Zenna: Kakashi rocks! Thanks for reviewing! It's good to know there are people out there as crazy about Kakashi as I am! Crazy in the good sense, of course.
ForbiddenLove08: Ahhh... the mysterious of sealed spirits... LH isn't just a summoning... (see Book 1) so yes, he can do all sorts of things. which is what Tsunade is interested in. as you will see... and yes, this story is getting big. and bigger. it's taking life on it's own. it's a monster, really. my brother says i need to get a life... I'm not sure if I agree with him. If I stopped now, I'd be in such big doo-doo, I'd might as well commit cyber-seppuku.
Iluvjesus123: Read the commentary just above this. All questions shall be answered. It's really interesting - because your question is just another mystery that will be answered in full for Naruto and et al. (once they find out that he has LH, which they don't know exists right now... interesting... interesting...) Is LH like the Kyuubi? Sort of? Maybe? I can't say without spoiling a ton of stuff... hope it comes clear as time goes by!
The poem: Burning for You, is written by moi. Hope you enjoy this chappie!
Warning: Male/male closeness. ANGST!
I do not own Naruto... or Kakashi... or we wouldn't have to watch all this filler crap...
Chapter 21 – Burning for You
I am the grey-winged moth
Who draws to your bright flame
And burns
The smell of soba and miso never left him – it lingered in his senses – a stench of decay.
It left him with a firm belief –
Eggplant doesn't mix well with blood.
That and –
Who am I?
As he stood there, looking down at his handiwork –
The father, fallen forward onto the low table, a kunai in his chest, a surprised look on his face –
The dead mother, clutching her lifeless child to her chest.
The two daughters by the door, silent – never to move again – never to laugh –
Never to run out of their mansion to greet their father –
The heir to estate was also there – unlucky bastard – who had come to visit his ailing father…
He had put up some sort of a fight – but was no real match for this ANBU.
And here he was –
In a dead home.
The silence of the dead was black.
And standing there, looking down – as if from far away – his chest felt burdened with something –
Something –
Guilt? Shame?
A blackness – a void of horror – a darkness that no light could pierce –
Inside of him gnawed a hunger, he was so hungry – the pain clashed with the sight of fish and vegetables lovingly set out in blue-inked china bowls – the chopsticks just opened – the rice still steaming in its pot –
And what little he had had for breakfast came up –
He apparated as far as he could from the home, to throw up repeatedly into the bushes –
And as he knelt there, panting harshly – he saw their faces –
He saw in their eyes the reflection –
What reflection?
"Why?" She had screamed. "He's only a baby! Please!"
Why? Kakashi… Kakashi, why?
What was that – what did you see, Kakashi, in that mirror?
And as if from another time and space – it was another time – it was later on in the future – he was drawing away through the darkness to the mission –
He was bending over Genma – Genma who had taken that chance.
Genma.
Genma. Why? You – what do you see?
"But you came – I'm glad – perhaps – you haven't forgotten –"
"Your name,"
"Kakashi – who are – who you are."
Who am I?
He paused.
Then he whispered.
"I did it for you."
An answer echoed back to him – from far away, a soft voice whispered –
"Is that how you justify –"
Kakashi.
His name resonated in his ears – a commanding voice – the same whisperer?
Emerging from a black tunnel, he found a field of white –
Kakashi blinked – and, as his vision adjusted, h e realized he was staring straight into the glare of a hospital's florescent light.
Turning his pounding head, the ANBU attempted to shield his eyes and face – in vain.
Panic began to flood his gut.
Where am I?
This isn't –
Images flashed through his mind –
A dark man bending over him – his hands –
Kakashi jerked hard against his restraints – attempting to twist out of them –
No. No.
No. This can't be happening –
It can't be –
It isn't –
Not again.
Never again.
His eyes focused on a bunch of beeping hospital machines to his right – to his left –His wild, confused gaze landed on –
"Tch. Can you justify this?"
The solemn faces of Ibiki, Tsunade, and Jiraiya.
"What are you doing? Get these damn wires off me!" snarled Kakashi.
Tsunade was the only one to advance despite the waves of killer intent coming from her reluctant patient.
"Kakashi – we're trying to regulate your chakra flow –"
"What! There's nothing wrong with me!"
Kakashi fell back onto his pillow, stifling his unwarranted feelings of fear.
Tsunade watched his struggle – her face bent in a frown.
"There's a lot wrong with you – you're completely fucked up. I realize I can't hold you forever, though – so just answer some of my questions –"
"Bitch," Kakashi whispered harshly.
"Pardon?"
Kakashi turned his head away to glare at the green-black monitor.
"How's Lightning's Howl doing?"
Kakashi flinched at the name.
"Well?"
The grey-haired man's eyes darted to Jiraiya and Ibiki.
Tsunade smirked.
"I told them."
Kakashi growled.
"You had no right to –"
"I had every right," Tsunade snapped. "Now –"
"Fine. He's fine."
"When's he last been out?"
"I dunno… several months back when you declared the end of the war officially…"
"So you don't let him out often? Why not?"
Kakashi mumbled, "It's none of your business."
"I'm MAKING it my BUISNESS!" Tsunade yelled. "Because maybe – maybe I don't want a psychotic shinobi running around with a summoning going evil."
"Lightning's Howl can't go evil!"
"Yeah? He's part of you, isn't he?"
Kakashi nodded hesitantly.
"Unless –" Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "You don't let him out for another reason."
Kakashi merely blinked.
"He's your conscience, isn't he? Kakashi-kun…" Jiraiya said thoughtfully.
Tsunade drew back.
It makes sense…
She sighed.
"And that's not all – what's up with you and Yukio? He was here for healing several days ago –"
"It's none of your business." Kakashi said flippantly. "Why should you care?"
Tsunade drew herself up, her face red as she tried to control her legendary temper.
Jiraiya winced.
Keep this up, boy, and you'll be out of this hospital – as a corpse –
"My business? What's it got to do with me? I DON"T KNOW – MAYBE BECAUSE A MAN NEARLY DIED of SEVERE CHAKRA INJECTION! You TELL ME – Kakashi. If it's nothing why are you pulling this card out now? After all these years – ON YOUR FRIENDS?"
Tsunade deflated.
"Well… I'm glad you've gotten over your guilt about that whole Gai incident – it's good to see you using your full potential – but on your teammate? Friend?"
Kakashi's harsh laugh cut through her scolding.
"Teammate? Friend? Don't make me laugh. You can't understand."
For a moment, Tsunade saw pain in her shinobi's eyes.
What – Yukio – and now – Kakashi – what – what are they hiding? Is this a good time for me to be probing this?
Kakashi was continuing on –
She could see the openness in him, withdrawing like the tide – for a moment, she felt panic – and pain.
What can I do?
" – It's a situation that normally works for us – objectively, I admit this…"
"It also gets out of hand," disagreed Ibiki.
Kakashi shrugged.
"Sure."
"That is fine with you – to have an enemy and a lover rolled into one?" Ibiki frowned. "When you come home, you want to relax – not –"
"It's fine."
"Abusive relationships, abusive sex – nonconsensual or otherwise is NEVER fine. You're destroying yourself, Kakashi. What little is left."
"There was nothing to destroy in the beginning – it is perhaps better this way."
Ibiki flinched. Tsunade gasped at the soft, hard, deep bitterness and resignation in the Copy Nin's voice.
Bitterness. Anger. Despair. Pain.
So much pain. And yet – what he does – what he's done for Rock – for Genma – there's hope – what have I done but backed him into a defensive corner?
Kakashi was unstoppable –
"There's nothing sacred to keep anyway – what am I? You know it, Tsunade. Now I am honest I'm not living a life pretending to be what I am not comfortable being."
"You are NOT a monster, Kakashi," Tsunade shook her head. "Deep down, you are Lightning's Howl – loving, caring – scared, guilty, maybe – but you just don't want to face that – you don't want to see that young boy in the study anymore –"
"Whatever."
"Your father –"
"DON'T."
Tsunade jumped back as Kakashi lunged at her – he fell back, teeth gritting as his thin wrists chafed red against his restraints.
"Don't. I don't want to talk about him –"
He paused.
"Or her."
"But we must, Kakashi." Jiraiya said harshly. "We need to consider he hopes and dreams of Sakumo – Yellow Flash – Rin – Obito –" He paused. "Sasuke, Naruto. Sakura."
Sakura.
Warm hands on his cold heart.
Kakashi shut his eyes to the rush of memories – but he could see them anyway –
His traitorous mind's eye.
Your love is a fire –
"Kakashi. You're our proud sensei!"
Her soft voice, her warmth as she sat beside in his dark shell – as she tried to reach out. To what – she did not know.
"Kakashi."
His sensei jumped away.
"Remember – live your life for them – to the fullest."
He never saw Yellow Flash again – alive.
"Kashi-kun – I – always –"
Rin, in his arms, fragile like a butterly – and then she was still, her heart never to beat in vain for him again.
"Kakashi –"
Obito under a rock, blood trickling from his mouth, and an empty eye socket – admiration and love on his dead face.
"Kakashi."
His father's arms around him, in a crushing bear hug, eyes dreaming with tears for his dead Hanako.
"Kakashi – we're moving – for you – handsome – my beautiful boy –"
A soft voice and the blurry face of the one –
The one he missed the most –
Kakashi.
What's your name?
Who are you?
"Kakashi," a soft voice called.
He looked up and found the concerned, pain-filled eyes of the Kage close to his own her hands gently petting his longish hair away from his face.
His mismatched eyes filled with regret.
"I'm sorry, I can't live up to that – but –"
Kakashi shrugged.
"I can live with it, we all can – just as we did before."
Withdrawing –
Cycling backwards –
The wheel turned backwards –
Unstoppable –
From dark to light – and then – back to the dark –
Day fell into night –
His grey eyebrows scrunched together – and into his dark eyes, a dangerous light flashed.
"And stop touching me! You aren't my mother! Stop acting like one!"
The sudden vehement violence in his tone of voice caused the blonde Kage to draw back.
Kakashi relaxed.
"Let me go," he whispered.
Tsunade glanced at Ibiki – the ANBU interrogator nodded.
"Fine, Kakashi – but – take care – of yourself. Maybe you don't know who you are – maybe you don't remember – but we do –"
"What you remember is an illusion," Kakashi said shortly as he watched her slowly unbind his wrists and ankles – slowly pull out the IVs and wires.
He sat up, cricked his neck and stood.
"Then, perhaps," Jiraiya said softly. "Perhaps we can make that illusion reality."
Kakashi said nothing as he left the room.
"We got enough data?" asked Tsunade.
"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Ibiki emerged from behind one particularly large machine, holding a long sheet of paper marked with jagged ink lines along it.
"It's clear – here – 'Lightning's Howl'; here – 'Yukio'; here – 'Sakumo, Yellow Flash… uh… Obito, Rin, Team 7 – especially… after Sakura's name…."
"What?"
"His emotions were the most calmest, followed by the most tumultuous afterward –there… you can see the rest of the time he varies between extreme calm and extreme rage – without warning –"
"What – what are you trying to say?" Jiraiya asked with a frown. "After a mission like that, most shinobi –"
"It's necessary – it helps us know what kind of state he really is in – especially after a mission like that." Ibiki sighed. "On a good day, like Kakashi's annual psych test, you can get by – here – here –"
His face fell in concern.
"There's no lying – no one can deceive this machine…"
"So you're saying…"
"He's –"
"Imbalanced," Tsuande sighed. "As we feared."
As she watched from her office windows Ibiki and Jiraiya leave the front entrance of the hospital, Tsunade sighed.
Sakura.
What healing did you bring to him?
How is it that he finds in you the equilibrium he needs?
Perhaps, she thought, there is more hope for him than he realizes.
This upcoming mission of mine to Rock –
Perhaps –
Maybe –
Tsunade grinned.
A way to expose the brat –
Don't let me down, Sakura!
Your love is a fire too hot for me
It's dark here - like the underworld, Yukio thought with uncharacteristic melancholy as he stood, dressed in full ANBU regalia, in front of his superior waiting for yet another mission briefing.
Looking around him - at the black, battered metal desk, the low slung chair, the dim florescent lights, the anonymous file cabinets lining the room around him - Yukio felt like he was buried alive in the earth.
It's dark, windowless, lifeless, black, grey, stained, old, dirty...
The faceless man before him, his superior, was perhaps the only one to truly understand - he had been there since the beginning - from before -
Before the war, he'd been a capable ANBU shinobi - one in many - but he had been different.
He had survived.
And that's all you need, Yukio thought cynically, to move up in these ranks. , Yukio thought cynically, .
Survival instincts - what Kakashi and I have, too. And here we are with a handful of other veterans - all that is left -
We are here - while the others are...
Dead?
Trying to recover?
Who knows?
We are here, alone.
"Thoughtful, Yukio-san?" asked the man formally.
"It's that kind of day..."
"It's been that kind of month," the ANBU controller sighed. "... you mave have heard of unrest between Konoha and Rock?"
Yukio tipped his masked face ever so slightly in a nod.
"There have been rumours…"
"Not rumors – truth."
Yukio looked thoughtful, then he shrugged.
"So – what's new?"
"We had hoped peace would come – but recently – as Konoha sent out three teams to deliver treaties, they have been attacked by Rock Nin – and Rock has sent no answer or tried to make any positive contacts with Leaf Nin."
"Hmmmm – so Rock is trying to disturb the new peace?"
"Something like that. At any rate, the Kage has decided to mount a probe – she will be accompanied by two teams – and your team of four will be the backup."
Yukio nodded.
"At any rate, you'll be there to fight if they are attacked by anyone – show no mercy! At this point, Konoha cannot risk losing it's Kage at a time when it is still recouping from the last war!"
"Yes, sir! Understood!"
Yukio nodded curtly.
"Good! You'll be a team of four – as usual – the Kage asked for Kakashi – do you have any recommendations?"
"Makoto and Ichiro are good… and of course, the Kage made the decision I would –"
"Yes… it's fairly obvious – Hatake-san's jutsus would be very useful – especially since Rock is well know to him…"
Yukio nodded.
"My thoughts, exactly!"
there is something beautiful
in that flickering red tongue
the small sun
"Kakashi."
"Go 'way."
"So cold! I thought you'd like to – play…"
Yukio loomed over the sprawled Copy Nin.
"Hn… since when have I in my right mind been –"
Yukio bent to whisper in Kakashi's ear.
"You know when –"
"Besides," Yukio shrugged, leaning forward to snag a bottle of sake.
"Since when have you been in your right mind? You're drunk, man!"
"No, 'M not!"
Yukio sighed.
"Don't worry – I'll be here to hold your head out of your vomit… as usual…"
"Thas the las thin' I need."
"Ah ah ah! You live your life way too dangerously to my liking, Kashi-kun. Almost – suicidal if you get my meaning – that last stunt you pulled –"
"He needed me –"
"Maybe it was his time."
Kakashi, now well on the road to severe impairment, didn't answer. He just sat there – slumped back in the sagging settee stationed on his balcony. It was one of his favorite thinking spots – on nights like this when the moon shines brightest.
When Yukio isn't there –
When I feel –
When I feel –
What do I feel? What don't I want to feel?
Yukio sat down beside the Copy Nin and looked out over the rooftops.
"You live your life way too dangerously, Kashi-kun… what if –'
Kakashi opened his black eye blearily at Yukio's solemn tone.
"What if – you never came back?"
"Why should y'care? You're th' one who hurts me all th' time. Who's most annoyin'… dash - dastardly…"
"Hmn. Yes."
There was another silence.
Yukio downed the rest of the sake bottle, and then, as he felt the alcohol hit his stomach to burn deeply with warmth, the black-haired ANBU operative sighed and leaned sideways into Kakashi.
The Copy Nin made no move.
Which was odd.
Yukio thought it over.
Perhaps – perhaps he's going on me – he has drunk two bottles – and he could never really carry his alcohol…. Or maybe – just this once – he feels –
"Does it hurt?" asked Yukio.
"Eh?"
"Does it hurt to see them so happy? To see that robbed from them?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Even now – the barriers –
"Does it hurt, I wonder?"
Yukio said nothing, before burying his face into Kakashi's neck, to inhale his partner's new shampoo mixed with a faint smell of hospital and green leaves.
Kakashi nudged at him, Yukio moved away just a little.
"Why do you ask – now of all times?" asked the Copy Nin, his voice slurring gently.
"Because it does –"
"I never said it did."
"I never said that I was talking about you."
There was another thoughtful silence.
Yukio turned to his partner, to find him snoring gently, already out. He wondered if Kakashi had even heard his reply.
It is perhaps… better this way…
As he laid the Copy Nin down onto the bed and squeezed in beside him by the wall, Yukio studied the bared face – so young in its sleep –
The face of an angel – a black angel – or a dirty grey one?
The bared face that is mine.
Yukio leaned forward and tasted the firm lips, they opened gently and he took the opportunity to enter there – his tongue tasting his companion's honey taste – the hastily heated ramen mixed with sake.
Interesting.
Real.
Here, right now.
Mine.
"Does it hurt, Kakashi?"
It hurts for me, somewhere in my chest, something tightens –
Something burns.
When my arms wrap round you
The memory of it is death for me
The memory of you
"Damn! Damn! Damn! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!"
He was there by the rock, his tired fingers and muscles trembling as they tried to shift the rock which pinned his partner down –
Not just a partner – not just a teammate – but a friend –
A friend.
What had been an annoyance – a whining crybaby – had become somebody else – somebody with wisdom and power –
The Sharingan.
Shit.
Obito.
The first person to –
"Anyway, if I'm that kind of trash, I'll break the rules. If that's not being a true shinobi – then I'll crush that idea of a shinobi!"
The first person to reach out, to say "White Fang" with admiration. To see behind the mask – underneath the underneath – to believe.
"I believe that the 'White Fang' is a true hero!... Of course, those in the ninja world who break the rules and regulations are called trash… but…. Those who don't care for their companions are even worse trash. "
Obito.
Here he was, lying, dying underneath a rock, Rin was crying, looking at him with eyes – eyes that were watching a shattering world.
Fuck.
We're only thirteen.
This was my first mission as Jounin – first day, and – I – I – fuck!
What's wrong with me!
"Kakashi…"
His voice jerked me to attention.
As he lay there, pinned under the rock, dying.
"I…. from the beginning, if I'd gone along with what you'd said and went with you to rescue Rin…. Something like this wouldn't have happened!"
There was a silence as Kakashi berated himself.
"What kind of commander? What kind of Jounin?"
"Hey… no… forget it…."
A pause.
"I'm…. the only one…. Who didn't…. give you a present… at your Jounin celebration… right… Kakashi…. What would be good… I was thinking… and… now… I've come up with it… what…. Don't worry… it's not…. Useless… baggage…"
A pause.
"… it's…. this Sharingan… of mine…."
Eh?
"…the people in this village… what they must've been saying… that you're a great Jounin… that's… how I feel… please accept it………. I'm already…. Going to die….. but… I can become your eye…. And from now on I will see the future…"
I'm sorry, Obito.
I'm sorry.
That the future you see is nothing but the dark.
It burns
My heart it burns for you
As he stared down at the crystal ball, watching Naruto getting himself in trouble with the girls, staring down Sasuke, panting after the pink-haired girl named after the equally pink cherry blossom, Sakura – Kakashi wondered.
This team – do I even deserve this? Can I really do this?
I don't know – I don't know –
Hokage. What were you thinking, giving them to me?
On the outside, he knew he looked in control – casual. Hip. Annoyingly cool and unconcerned.
But inside, his stomach roiled with turmoil.
He wasn't sure.
Thinking back, Kakashi felt uncertain –
I failed? Or did I?
Why do I remember?
Once again, he shifted on his bed, brooding over the thought – wondering.
What do I miss the most?
Acceptance? Dreams? Love?
What is it -?
"You are our proud sensei…"
Kakashi turned away, in the dark, biting his lip hard to hold back a tiny sob – a couple of tears leaked out to trail down his thin cheeks – to soak into his pillow.
Yukio's arms tightened around him and as, a pair of hot lips found their way across his shoulders, Kakashi knew only one thing.
I'm alone.
My heart it burns for you
They watched the golden sunset – the bright lamp slowly sunk behind the rounded roofs, the small squat buildings – and the Great Wall.
A gentle breeze their hair away from their faces – in the cool air of the evening, it seemed so still.
Looking at her younger companion's bent head – her newest head medic was deep in thought – Tsunade could only conjecture the burdens life had brought her prized pupil.
"He's on your mind, isn't he?" she said softly.
Sakura stiffened – then sighed.
"Is it so bad to worry about a friend? Especially considering the trouble…"
"He was your friend?"
The girl laughed softly at her mentor's heavy skepticism.
"Well… I see that he had no friends – I am perhaps no more special to him than Naruto – or – Sasuke or even say, Genma… but… I feel like he invested a lot in me – us –"
She leaned further over the metal railings, absently noticing the new blank paint.
"In those two years that Naruto was away – even though we didn't meet a lot, we gained respect – I think – an understanding, perhaps – and now… come to think of it – I was the last one to see him that day – long ago – when we were all conscripted…"
Tsunade nodded.
"I see… you feel responsibility – love – care –"
She paused.
"It may be a waste of effort. You don't know what he's become –"
Sakura blinked.
"And you do?" she asked.
Tsunade merely shook her head.
"Don't let the bastard break your heart…"
Sakura shrugged and let it go.
If she doesn't want to answer me…
"Is it true," the medic asked, changing the subject, "I heard about a probe operation into Rock… you aren't going, are you?"
Tsunade laughed.
"Oh, yes. But no worries. Team 7 and Team 8 will be going – Kurenai included. And a couple of ANBU backups. We'll be fine."
"If you say so…" sighed Sakura. "The way things have been lately… I don't know…"
"Ah! Ah!" Tsunade's smile crinkled her brown eyes shut. "You're sounding more like Shizune! It's scary!"
"Scary? What's scary is your age!"
"WHAT?"
"Nothing, nothing…"
"I may be old, but I'm not dead yet!"
"Tell that to – never mind…"
"To who? Who's been talking about me! I'll give them –"
"Why do our talks always get interrupted? It's bad karma, I tell you!" Naruto pouted two days later, as his team stood outside the mission room door waiting for Tsunade to stop inundating Jiraiya with last minute instructions.
"Do you even know what that IS?" Sakura rolled her eyes.
Sasuke sighed.
"It does seem discouraging… I had photos – and a mysterious shopping list to show you…"
"Photos?" the pink-haired kunoichi asked. "Of what? NO WAY! Kaka-sensei without his mask on?"
Sakura's voice ended with a squeal of anticipation – Naruto and Sasuke winced.
"No such luck – unless you count one baby picture. No. More like pictures of him and his dad and his dad's friends – and the one picture of his mother… like I said, when he was a baby…"
"Awwww! Sounds so cuuute!"
"Ugh!" Naruto groaned. "Stop squealing like that!"
"NNNAAAAAARRRRUUUUTTTTTOOOO!" roared Sakura, suddenly switching moods. "You don't have a bad hangover do you? On a morning such as this! You drink WAY too much!"
"Sakura," mumbled Sasuke.
"WHAT! Not you too!" the pink-haired medic whirled around on her tall ex-crush.
His dark eyes avoided hers – but on his pale face, she could see the signs of a hangover…
"Sakura. It's –"
"Can you guys keep it down?" Izumo grumped, poking his head out of the door. "Tsunade and Jiraiya have – headaches – and –"
"What's with you guys?" Sakura glared. "Sleep well before a mission, so you feel energized and can get up early to primp and –"
She paused at the sight of her team mates' glazed eyes.
"Well… I guess it's normal for most idiots to party – but you could have asked me too! Geez!"
"So full of vitality…" grumbled Sasuke. "How does she do it?"
"So loud," whimpered Naruto, cradling his head. "So early in the morning…"
They watched Sakura blab on -
"This mission is already starting badly – where's Sai when you need him?"
"On a mission," Sasuke reminded her, in a dead-pan voice.
"I KNOW. That was a rhetorical question, idiot!"
"HA! HA! Sasuke! You fell for it!"
"Fell for what, idiot?"
"Don't call me idiot, idiot!"
"Stop acting like one!"
"I'm not! You are!"
"Am not! Who's the one with the hangover, yelling?"
"My hangover isn't as bad as yours – you can't hold your drink as well as I CAN!"
"What? You're the one who passed out at one o'clock!"
"EEHHHH? And what about you? You were so sloshed you passed out on that Yuuhi bitch's bed!"
"That's – that's – that wasn't passing out! And her name is Lyra! My woman isn't a bitch! I decided –"
There was a pregnant pause.
Sakura froze and turned slowly to catch Sasuke's eyes.
Naruto froze – half-looming over his annoying friend.
"How did you find out about Lyra anyway?" Sasuke said, trying to change the subject.
"That doesn't matter!" Sakura screeched. "You got a girlfriend and you didn't tell me! Who is she exactly?"
"Gekkou Lyra… niece of that examiner from waaayyy back - you remember that sick dude - Gekkou - Gekkou -"
"Hayate-san?" asked Sakura.
"Yeah! That guy!…Anyway, she'sfour years younger than us…" Naruto nodded. "Met her at the club – very hot, and very, very interested… let's just say…"
He waggled his pinkie.
"SASUKE! That's so sweet! But how DARE you KEEP THIS IN THE DARK! We've got to meet! And hang out! And have you set a date yet? OOHHH! I'm soooo happy for you! I wish you well! She better be good to you – or else…"
Sasuke sighed.
"This is one of the reasons why –"
"Eh? Who's getting together?" Tsunade asked suddenly from behind the Team.
Sasuke U-turned and marched off muttering about crazy women.
"Hey!" Tsunade yelled. "The mission is starting! Let's get going! Hey! Come back here this instant – you have to tell me everything, brat!"
I am the grey-winged moth
Who clasped fiery arms of love
Three days later, as the Team of three, Team Kakashi, and the Team of four, Team Kurenai, led by Tsunade, walked slowly amongst the trees, down the dusty, brown, potted road, Kakashi felt worse.
It wasn't the rising spring heat - moist with last night's rain - it was the oppressive looks of Yukio -
That and the sight of them -
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"I'd never do that, idiot, but you -"
"N-n-n-naruto..."
"Naruto..."
"Don't call me idiot, bastard!"
"I'm just saying it like it is, dead last."
"SASSSUUKKEEE-TEEEMMMMEEEE:
"NAAARRRUUUTTTOOO!"
Naruto never reached Sasuke - a small fist slammed into his back, smashing the blonde into a nearby tree. There was an ominous creaking sound, as as it fell, Naruto peeled himself away in just enough time to avoid becoming a pancake.
"N-n-n-n-naruto-k-k-kun!" squeaked Hinata, running to the hunched young shinobi. "Are you okay? Here's some salve..."
Naruto, rubbing his sore back, squinted up at his temporary teammate.
"Hinata! Uh... what did you say?"
"S-s-salve!" she whispered.
"Eh? Oh that! That's the awesome stuff that made me feel better last time! I used it up in a week... You're so good at this, Hinata-chan! Not like... HER..."
"What's that supposed to mean, Naruto?" asked the impatient pink-haired medic.
"Nothing," the blonde Jounin said hastily.
Hinata giggled. He looked at her and smiled.
Hinata blushed red and scuttled off.
You know, Naruto mused, all these years... and I still don't get her... she's such a nice girl too... at first, I thought she was weird... but really, she's not THAT weird... I mean, look at Shino. Now that's creepy! Talking to bugs and never getting a dating life at all! , Naruto mused,
"Naruto! Hurry up - or we'll be leaving you behind."
Naruto got up slowly and followed them deep in thought.
Although, I'm not one to talk. I've not got a girl yet, either. I guess... ever since that day...
He sighed.
Suddenly, he noticed his dark-haired companion at his side.
"Girl troubles?" asked the Uchiha.
Watching Kurenai, Sakura, Hinata and Tsunade bending over some small flowers, Naruto rolled his eyes.
"For there to be girl troubles, I'd need to have a girl first. That's my problem."
"I don't see what's so tough - you're a war hero. You've got them all at your feet..."
"And you don't?"
"I didn't say that... I've got a bigger -"
"Nevermind. It's a non-issue."
"Non-issue. That's a new one from you. Who did you learn that from? Let me guess... Ebisu?"
"Hmmm... good try. No. Genma."
"Ah. Well... why is it a non-issue?"
"I've lost my heart to somebody."
"Oh? Who?"
"I don't know."
Sasuke blinked.
I thought Naruto was dumb - but not this stupid...
"What do you mean?" asked Sasuke, slowly and carefully.
"It was when you were gone - and I had to go on a whole bunch of missions with people - before Jiraiya came back to take me away - and there was this one mission, which Hinata came up with - and, boy, was she awesome. She pulled out her own signature jutsu then! Wow! It was super amazing! Anyway, there was this bug who was supposed to sniff you out -"
"I don't want to know..."
"But I ended up farting on it so it stuck to me all the time - and boy, was Sakura mad - I had to hide in a henge for a week! And of course, Shino was acting all 'leader-like' the whole mission - and Kiba was his normal useless -"
"You're not making any sense, Naruto -"
"Well... it doesn't matter, because one night, I had to go pee -"
"As usual..."
"What? I'm not the only one running out! Hinata was gone then... yeah... anyway - it was - where was it? anyway - I think it was on the road to the place... so, I had to go, I went out to the river, and I saw this chick dancing on the water - she was so hot... come to think of it... I don't think she had any clothes on..."
"Jiraiya... you've got alot to answer too..." mumbled Sasuke.
"Eh? What? Well... no matter," Naruto sighed. "I slipped and when I got myself out of the river she had gone. And ever since then..."
"You've been love with a water-dancing chick? All this time? Loser!"
"I'm not a loser! I'm a romantic!"
"Romantic? You're an idiot."
"WHAT?"
"Guys!" Sakura hissed, from up front. "You better not be -"
The boys quieted under her threatening gaze. Naruto dug out his canteen and unscrewed the black cap.
"It's obvious," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.
"What?" Naruto said around a mouthful of water.
"You saw Hinata."
"PHOEEE!"
Akamaru got a shower of water and spit - he darted up the road howling after Kiba.
"What the hell!"
"Like I said, only an idiot couldn't figure that out."
"How can you -"
"Listen. You're in the backwoods. Nobody is there. Hinata is missing from the tent, and you wonder who was on the river? Geez..."
"That's impossible..." Naruto blinked. "She was hot!"
"And Hinata isn't?"
Naruto stuffed his canteen back into his pack and watched the dark-haired Uchiha narrowly. The young woman sneezed.
"Well?" asked Sasuke.
"Ummmm... she is kinda hot... but you can't see much under that jacket."
"Check her out when she takes it off. She's got it - you've seen her move at the club..."
"Yeah... yeah... absolutely."
"Now, you just gotta show her your interest. She's been in love with you since the Academy. Can't be hard..."
"What? You say the dumbest things, Sasuke. I'll ask Sakura. She's smarter."
"Like you should talk, water-dancing-chick-loverboy."
"SASUKE-TEME!"
"Tch."
"NARUUUTTOOO!"
"Seriously," Kurenai sighed. "I don't know how she puts up with it."
"The patience of a saint?" asked Shino.
"Not really," Tsunade growled, eyebrow twitching in irritation.
She deflated suddenly - Sakura had dealt with the situation once again with one blow.
Once again, Hinata was tending to Naruto's wounds, while Kiba helped the stoic Uchiha up.
"Idiots," fumed the pink-haired medic as she stomped past the shocked women. "I can't wait to get this mission over and done with - that way, we can get Kakashi - and he can deal with them!"
Kakashi watching the whole scene, 50 paces away, couldn't help but smile.
"That woman is scary," Makoto breathed softly. He shivered. "Remind me never to piss her off, Hatake-san."
"Yeah. Those dainty looks are totally deceiving. Such monstrous strength in a fragile flower."
"Ichiro. You need to lay off those Icha Icha right now - while you still have some taste left."
"But it's a classic!"
"According to Hatake-san, but not the rest of the world!"
"What are you saying?" asked Kakashi with a mock stern voice. "Don't badmouth my enjoyment here!"
"Yes, Hatake-san," Makoto whispered.
"He's joking." Yukio smirked. "You know that, right?"
"Oh."
"Makoto. Makoto." Ichiro sighed. "You might have taste, but you sure have no sense."
"Shut up, open pervert."
Kakashi tuned out the young one's bickering - watching the stalled group closely. He could sense nothing big moving in the area - but the whole thing seemed off to him.
To be so light-hearted on such a mission...Seems wrong.
Just like before - when things went downhill.
Don't they -
He felt frustration well up inside him.
"Calm down," Yukio said softly, as he perched beside the Copy Nin on his high branch. "We needed a rest stop anyway."
"I am calm."
"No you're not. Watching that team, you've been more uptight than Ibiki on a Class S mission."
Kakashi didn't reply.
"What are they to you? Ex-students? Yes. That's it - Tsunade said I wasn't to say anything -"
"Say what?"
"Nothing."
"What weren't you to say?"
"Can't say."
"Say it!"
"It's nothing. Just that pink-haired bitch."
"Don't talk like that about her?"
"Ah. I hit a nerve."
"No. It's just rude."
"You called Tsunade a bitch."
"Meh. She's not a woman anymore. She's a hag with monstrous strength."
"And what do you call that?" asked Yukio, pointing as Sakura laid another one on Kiba for trying to grab her butt.
"Monstrous strength - but not a hag. Or a bitch."
"What then?"
"I don't know..." Kakashi's voice trailed off - his eyes, obscured by his mask dulled in memory. "Something... beautiful."
Yukio looked down and bit his lip. He frowned.
"The bitch."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Better not be about Sakura."
"No."
Watching the group continue on, Yukio wondered. For the next two days, as he watched Kakashi watch his ex-students with pained eyes, the black-haired ANBU began to understand.
Tsunade. You are one fucked up bitch.
Kakashi was in his own world. Lost in memories and regrets yet again. On the outside, he completed his toiletries, ate and ran with his ANBU team, verbally sparred with Yukio and broke up Makoto and Ichiro's fights - but in the inside, he ached.
Watching Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto laughing, eating, running, sparring, joking - talking about him -
"We'll get him back, Sakura!"
"Let's get this mission over and done with so we can find him!"
"I miss Sai - but I miss Kaka-sensei more..."
He felt confused.
What.
What are they -
What do they hope to find?
How can they be so happy?
It was four hours past the border into Rock that the first blow fell.
And burned
And died
NEXT UP:
A BIG CLASH! MORE MYSTERIES ARE REVEALED! Summonings, Kyuubi, LH!
READ AND REVIEW!