I don't own Naruto.
THANKS TO ALL WHO READ THIS AND REVIEWED AND PUT IT ON ALERT AND JUST GENERALLY MADE ME FEEL HAPPY!
sorry for the wait: SCHOOL IS MURDER!
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crette: oh my... i hope you aren't damaging too much of yourself over there! hope you enjoy this... soonish update!
BlondeKell: people have their ups and downs - is all I'm going to say... but soonish... soonish... the new arc for the story will begin... I think I've done enough explaining/describing Kakashi's poor mental condition - for me to finally start pulling him out of the hole he's dug himself into!
KakashiLuverIAm: here it be! glad you're enjoying it! hope you did well on your mid-terms!
sakura bell: hahaha! yes! Sakura is quite the girl... and I'm sure most people wouldn't be able to resist... but... her resisting... shows she cares, right? And as for Yukio-bashing... this chapter is for all anti-Yukio people... . sort of...
prescript13: thanks! i actually drew a small picture... which i might scan and post somewhere (when I find the time) but it's kinda crappy... still... medival literature CAN GET BORING! o... and I get busy scribbling crap! hahaha! enjoy! thanks for faithfully reviewing!
churroface: if you dislike yukio, this is the chapter for you... sort of... as I told Sakura Bell... but you know, Yukio like everything serves a higher purpose... sounds impossible, huh? yeah... .
sokerfreek922: already thinking ahead? good! that makes me very encouraged! and yes, there will be reunions and hugs and flowers and puppies dancing in the fields... eventually... XD I just gotta finish 5 essays and 2 group assignments... then we'll see... hahaha! but for now... blessed reunions!
rashaka: wow. thanks. 3 hours? hmmm... i'm glad you didn't feel like you wasted precious time! to be honest, i wrote this as an experiment. I know that fanfiction is serious - but I also see it was a way to play around and see what I can and cannot do with what skills of writing I've attained (or not attained as the case may be)... catastrofuck... good word to use. there's something I've decided this after a huge amount of deliberation... I love SEMEs being UKE-ified... if that makes sense... the whole tearing down to build up idea is my favorite... (sigh)... but yeah... obvious not possible in the Naruto world (b/c w/ Naruto around, things wouldn't get that bad...) hahaha...
sabireru: bringing on yukio... and hope you enjoy the end results! and thanks for the encouragement about the mansion and all... it was rather hard to picture it - so I had to do some... "reasearch" (read: drawing)... but yeah...
shadow dragon boss: alot of people seem to like the 'emo-boy' thing! hahaha! sai is the best, don't you agree? he's awesome! i just can't let him out! and did you see him in the beginning of episode 1 of the SHIPPUDEN? THEY KEPT THE GROIN LINE-AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! But Tenzo's hair was brown... . ah well...
gooby: i bet he wished he was awake! hahaha! there'll lots of time spent on that... later... right now... issues arise...
moiya hatake: hmmm... if you hate yukio, that's what you could do... but if you know that everyone is a person then... in some ways... he's not so evil as... pathetic... hope this chapter brings that out for you! . good ol' yukio bashing! as promised!
subakun-sensei: togetherness! (line from How To Steal A Million) hahaha! yes. well... there are going to be mountains and valleys... i'd call this... a plateau chapter... .
SweetAssassin: gasp yes! and... yukio wins and carries Kakashi off to a very dark sunset... hahaha... not... hope you enjoy this installment written in the spirit of procrastination...
desert Anbu: hmmm... haven't seen you around before! welcome to my very upside down world! and hope you enjoy yourself here! i'm very open to chatting so chat away... especially when it's about bishies! and semes ukefied! hahaha! glad you enjoyed the installment - it's awesome that you survived until the end of this story! gives out medal ja!
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Warning: Violence, Yaoi (Yukio/Kaka), slight non-con... ANGST!!!!
AN: Kakashi wants his mother... how did this story become so Oedipal? I guess Freud is EVERYWHERE... curse him... Also... had a star wars moment... can ya find it? And btw, if you find this at all creepy/post-modern/weird... blame Kubrick... while reading this some guy was watching The Shining at a computer to the right in front of me - ergo: my line of view (I don't always look at the screen when I type... . ) At any rate... the Shining... SCARRED ME! (the bathtub-nude woman... you know what I mean... --) For LIFE! At any rate... alot of the (dirtier) part of this chappie is all due to it!
Gentle Lesson
Chapter 31
Waking Sleep
He was unresponsive.
It was more than dissappointing for the medic. It was...
Disturbing.
To watch his teeth clench, his fists tighten - his eyes moving frantically under his eyelids. Somewhere faraway. Unreachable. Going where Sakura couldn't follow.
Not just disturbing...
Distressing.
Holding him close only seemed to calm him for a short while. It was almost as if...
It was almost like the time he had been put under the genjutsu. She had read the reports in that file - it seemed so long ago - when they were trying to figure out the man behind the mask.
But this time, Itachi was dead - and there was no one to blame for this mental distress. Nothing but the memories of the man. As inseparable as one's skin...
Dissappointing. Distrubing. Distressing...
And made her curious.
What are you seeing, Kakashi?
"Sakura..." he gasped out suddenly - his eyes opening in shock.
But he could not see her.
-----
It wasn't his mother this time. Or his father. It wasn't the crushed body of Obito, or the gasping asphyxiation of Rin. Nor was it the silent cold body of his sensei. No. It was a tiny child. She was lying on her small bed, curled up under thick pink and red quilts, clutching a teddy bear.
Her breath soft and light in the air. And he could feel her pulse beating.
Was it him - was it him who reached down to quickly and silently - competently -
"Good work," the ANBU coordinator had said smoothly three days after.
Kakashi had turned away.
Feeling... extraordinarily empty. Dirty. Ugly. Monstrous.
Was it him who reached down so easily to extinguish that life?
And it wasn't just her.
He was standing there, now - in that oh, so familiar clearing - and the body of his student lay in his arms. Falling forward, he clutched her body close, his nose and mouth against her bloodied hair, crying - not silently - more like howling in anguish. Because he had killed her.
As he always killed her in his dreams.
And he wondered.
Who am I?
-----
"You are yourself, Kakashi-kun." A gruff voice interjected. "Nobody else."
"I'm -"
"You're not a monster either," Lightning's Howl snuffled somewhere in the back of his mind.
Perhaps it was the warmth spreading throughout his body -
How? Why?
Perhaps it was the gruff voice...
But suddenly... he was relaxed.
"What about -"
"These dreams..." another sigh. "You have to let them go, young pup. Tell the medic girl. She would understand. She would listen."
"She can't! She can't! If she finds out - if they find out - if - if -"
"What?"
The gentle pressing made him curl up, hand covering his ears as he shook his head hysterically.
"I can't! If I do... they'll find out! For sure! That - that -"
"That what?"
"That I am not honorable."
Suddenly he was out on a smooth rock beneath the pale moon, around him, wind blew gently - at his feet, lay his largest summoning.
He was remembering the faces, and he just didn't care. Living a killer's life as an ANBU assassin had taught him the lesson of compartmentalization. It mostly worked.
Kakashi had shoved every memory in his many drawers – every time he had stabbed through somebody's chest with the Raikiri, every time he had sliced somebody's throat open, every time he had found the beating center with his katana. The every time his hands had dripped with blood.
As they still did.
Normally, these drawers remained shut. But for some reason, the ghosts could not be held at bay.
Perhaps this was because he remembered (all too clearly) his loving activities some nights before.
Megami. Lovemaking... is that what I can call it? Or was it simply a moment of need easily met?
He could still see the frozen shock of Megami's face – the last thing he saw before he had raised his mask. Perhaps it was because he realized how dangerous he was as a human compared to those silly civilized people who lived soft lives in tall buildings, cheek by jowl with urban criminals.
It was a heady experience – for a young one. A disillusionment for an elder.
"This seemingly easy mission upset you." It growled softly.
"Yeah. There seemed to be a lot of senseless killing."
"Senseless?"
"A lot of civilians died between us – but I had no choice."
"That is bad, true, but, at the cost of sounding redundant, you really seemed to have NO choice."
"But I never knew why."
"That's a problem for you, huh?"
"They don't realize…" Kakashi paused. "I never talked to my team about it."
"About what?"
"About ANBU and all that."
"You probably thought (rightly, no doubt) that they were too young for it. Those kids were just young pups. ANBU life is, I hear, something not many can talk about. Killing at command – when you often don't know the reason."
"Aaaa…."
"This mission ended in such way – is that it?"
"Yeh. I just…. Felt so inhuman, you know?" Kakashi plucked at his stained flak vest. "I was – I am – that is to say –"
"You can tell me – I don't gossip with other people…."
"Megami – she saw me as a good guy – but she also saw that….. ANBU part of me – which I – "
Kakashi smiled softly.
"It's so complicated isn't it? You know, Lightning, that my team always complained about me being close mouthed about myself – I guess it was just me trying to give myself a chance."
"A chance?"
"Yeah, to be seen as a nice guy – you know? Not a genius. Not a son of a coward. Not a killing machine. Just me."
"Did it work?"
"Yeah… I guess. But then, they feel like I'm holding back – and I guess I am since I haven't been totally honest with them about my character. But I just couldn't go through with it. Not only is most of my life classified, it's just too horrid to talk about. All my life I had asked new genins what their hobbies, dreams and preferences were – but until Team 7, that question had never been turned on me. I was – at a loss – sort of….."
Lightning's Howl nodded.
"Perhaps, as time passes, and troubles come into their lives, this team of yours will benefit from your tales. Until then…. Perhaps you should stop hiding away by yourself and try to be more with your friends."
How do you see me Sakura?
It made him wonder... he turned and there she was, sitting on the Rock, but her face was expressionless with disbelief and he looked down - his uniform was no longer pristine - it was soaked black with blood.
"Who's is it?" she asked urgently.
"Not mine..." he whispered.
She turned - jumped away -
He called her name - ran after her - but he could never catch up - she would never come back -
"SAKURA!"
-----
He would be unresponsive.
Yukio knew that already. He'd been there all those years in ANBU during the War with Sound - at Kakashi's back, completing a whole, the perfect - the deadliest ANBU duo Konoha could boast. Between his Earth and Wind techniques, and Kakashi's Water, Fire, Earth and Lightning techniques, they were invincible.
It had felt great.
And when the missions were over, and the stress and realization came to a head, Yukio figured out where to find Kakashi.
Drunk at a darkened bar.
Drunk alone in his apartment...
Or sitting at the memorial.
And his eyes would be blank - as if he were seeing something - whatever it was, had to be a horrible memory. Because sometimes, in the stillness, Yukio could see the silver streaks of tears - and when he raised his hand to trace them down the lean cheeks, there was no habitual response of disgust.
Because Kakashi wasn't home.
He'd gone faraway - and Yukio couldn't follow.
-----
"I remember my first impression of you, Kakashi-kun," Yukio smiled rather sloppily at his companion, one evening.
Kakashi grunted, morose as usual.
"I thought... you were insane... but cool... and I watched you fight and... was... awed... cause... yer a hero, ri'?"
The sake was hitting his blood.
"But not jus' a hero... but... hmmm... somethin' of a wild thing too..."
Kakashi had slouched down further, swigged back another gulp of sake - his only response to his baiting partner.
He'd given up trying to get Yukio to leave, long ago.
And Yukio watched, his friend with concern, because he remembered that day for sure. So clearly. But Kakashi saw nothing but a blur of tragic events. He saw nothing but the darkness.
"This is going to be your partner - Hatake Kakashi. Codename: ANBU Wolfhound... or Raiden."
Kakashi had been flipping through a Icha Icha, looked upward nonchalantly, shrugged and gave a short, "Yo."
Yukio bowed slightly and smiled, awed by the fact he was partnered with the Jutsu Technician of Konoha.
For sure, I'll learn something new...
"Kurokami Yukio. Codename: ANBU Bear... also... Rikki. At your service!"
"Hmmm..."
Flip.
Yukio's eyebrow twitched.
So the great Hatake Kakashi was a pervert?
A week later, an unranked mission showed up. Was a real dirty job - and difficult. After it was done, we just lay there, under the trees, against a rock, panting heavily - neither of us looking each other in the eye. And he was quiet, while I babbled on insanely, trying to find a way to vent...
And he was silent.
He always fell silent.
Well... in ANBU, everyone figures out a way to cope, sooner or later. Some become artists, some become loners, some talk to themselves, some go into homicidal rages - and some search for meaning in a meaningless fuck.
It wasn't on that day - it was on another - when the silence just became too oppressive -
It wasn't on that day...
That Yukio found out the weak spot, the splendid spot of Kakashi. The need.
"Kakashi -" He had said, turning to his monosyllabic partner, slouched on the sagging couch on his veranda. It smelled faintly of dog breath and some weird shampoo...
Kakashi smelled of sweat and sake.
Yukio watching the throat - the lips, the tongue - down the last of his sake - couldn't ignore the tightness - not only in his gut, but his pants -
He felt kind of dizzy.
And Kakashi didn't respond - just sat there, eyes glazed as Yukio's hand caressed his cheek lightly, turning his companion's frighteningly blank face to him - and finding his lips, shared the bittersweet taste of blood and wine. Even when his fingers slid up his shirt and then down to caress him intimately... there seemed to be no response.
The next morning, he was nearly beaten half to death.
And Yukio smiled.
He had brought him back.
-----
What can that medic do? Yukio snorted to himself as he darted quickly through the trees, noting the haphazard path of both Kakashi and the girl. Hold his hand and say nice things? No one -
No one has been there like I have been.
-----
Suddenly he was back in the school room - the walls were covered with blood and guts. Literally. Even he felt lightheaded at the sheer cold-bloodedness of the fact. It wasn't just one room - it was school room after school room - all eight of them. Carefully avoiding the body of a teacher and a student, still clutching each other with twin holes in their chest, Yukio felt his blood turn to ice.
"Kakashi? Kakashi!!! KAKASHI!!!!!"
No answer.
Don't tell me -
Don't tell me he's won this time -
"KAKASHI! WHERE ARE YOU! ANSWER ME DAMMIT!"
And he found Kakashi in the last room, sitting silently, unresponsively in one of the desks. Classic glassy stare. Yukio didn't know what to do. The mission was over - but Kakashi was in no condition to move. And if the ANBU coordinators found out about this episode... Kakashi would have a one way ticket back to the Jounin ranks. And Yukio had no place there waiting for him.
No. Kakashi had to stay. Kakashi HAD to get his act together... but still... Yukio peeling the masks off, couldn't help but smile.
He was beautiful.
Dangerous and beautiful. Dangerously beautiful.
His angel.
His face alone.
And when he threw Kakashi across the desk, bending over him - he was satisfied. This was his place. His little bit of heaven. And Kakashi, instinctively responding, needed him too.
He was sure of it.
-----
"If that Baka-sensei is doing something stupid... I'M GONNA KILL HIM!" Naruto shook his fist, his loud yells scaring a flock of birds out of the trees around the small group of Jounin.
Great, Tenzo sighed. Now the rest of Fire Country knows we're here...
"Keep your voice down -"
"Perhaps your name should be 'Loud Mouth'?" Sai asked sweetly, interrupting Sasuke.
"Don't steal my lines," Sasuke glared.
"Ooooo..."
"Guys," Tenzo said, in that voice which promised 'scary eyes'. "We need to concentrate. Does any one here feel any chakra signatures?"
"I don't see how," Sai shrugged, pulling out the map. "We're in the middle of nowhere - literally. Aoi Ta-ishishi is the nearest thing... I hope... If we've been following this river right... it's from the mountains near there..."
"Hmmmm..." Naruto folded his arms, deep in thought.
"I never thought I'd see the day..." Sasuke mumbled to himself.
"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "I was just wondering if Aoi-whatever had pigeons. We might need backup..."
"Hmmm... good thinking, Naruto. We'll check that out in the town. Although... from the way Kakashi moved... he wasn't too injured... still..."
Tenzo fell silent at the idea of that other ANBU... ANBU Bear, was it... with Sakura.
Who knows what will happen then?
As Yamato, Sai, Sasuke and Naruto ventured through the forest, trying to figure out the messed up tracks of Kakashi, Sakura and Yukio - Yukio himself was making his way closer to the village. He could already feel the faint tingling of the life force which filled the town.
Why did he come here? wondered Yukio, sniffing at the sight of the small town nestled against the tiered rice paddies set unevenly into the mountain. His eyes wandered across the now-empty fields, shivering at the cold of the dusk. Where could he be? The tracks...
He followed quickly, trying to follow in the dying light - stretching out for any sign of Kakashi chakra...
But nothing stood out.
Just the silence. The 'pok' of a bamboo falling and rising...
Above...
He looked up - and saw nothing - then... a small flare. A small lamp or candle moving around what looked to be a large-ish building.
The small flare of a lamp - and the strong flare of the medic.
So she was here then. Possibly with Kakashi under sedatives?
Yukio made his way over to the mansion, carefully and silently.
-----
Sakura felt his presence. Somewhere out there at the edge of the fields.
Strong and fierce. Despite the battle and ensuing chase through the countryside of Fire, the ANBU was still fresh...
Damn.
The pink-haired medic stared down at her comatose sensei.
Kakashi...
I won't let them take you away. That darkness will never claim you again...
So she was ready at the door, when he finally knocked. And she wondered at his boldness.
Get a grip, Sakura! You're a Special Jounin! Your sensei was not only Iruka-sensei, Kaka-sensei - but also Tsunade-sensei! You can take on one measly ANBU is you have to!
Sakura jerked the door open, her green eyes narrowing at the sight of the white Bear mask and the tense posture.
"What do you want?"
A silence.
The mask tilted, then the voice said, muffled: "To see him - that's all..."
"I see..."
She was unsure. She hesitated.
He waited... patiently.
Then, she nodded slowly.
"He's out. He's not responding to stimulae -"
"Hmph..."
The ANBU disappeared into the living room, looking over the stark room - rich furnishings, beautiful knick knacks, carefully placed potted plants and the high ceilings... all kept in good order as if awaiting the day for its master's return. It's master HAD returned. Kakashi was lying in the master bedroom, under a pile of blankets - breathing softly, no doubt already calm from the medic's attention. Beside the bed a matress had been laid out -
The girl's...
What's her name...
Yukio's fist clenched.
Kakashi is mine to care for. What else am I here for?
"I'll take him to Konoha," Yukio said, bending over the prone ninja.
"Impossible," the medic said firmly, her grip on Yukio's elbow was strong.
"Why?"
"Because... he's obviously ill... a fever... struggling with nightmares - it's better I give him onsite care. Until he comes out of -"
"You don't even KNOW - can't even comprehend what it is!" Yukio seethed, losing control of his volatile temper by the minute.
"I think you have too high of an opinion of yourself..." Sakura counted irritably, while smoothing Kakashi's sheets.
THE PIG DESERVES TO DIE, DAMMMMIITTTT!!!! Screeched Inner Sakura. GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF KAKASHI, DAMN YOU!
-----
"It's getting dark..." Naruto sighed as they burst out of a clearing. "Are we any nearer?"
"We've made good speed today," Sasuke frowned. "We should be there..."
"Hmmmmm..." Tenzo sighed, wishing they could look at their map. "Just extend your senses as far as you can - see what you get. Think of it as an excercise!"
"YAAAYYY!!! An excercise! It's been awhile since I've been given one..."
"Hmph. That explains alot," Sai smirked. "I can already tell we are close."
"To Aoi-Tishishi?"
"Can't you feel the chakra flares, baka?" Sasuke shook his head.
"Stop calling me baka, you idiot! It's Naruto to you! And one day you're gonna have to pay respects -"
"To me because I'm gonna be Hokage and - blah blah blah blah..." Sasuke shrugged. "Somehow I know I've heard this before..."
"SASUKE-TEME!!!!"
Sai had to step out of this one.
"I think splitting them up is good," Tenzo smiled. "Sai, you take Sasuke, I'll take Naruto. I think I feel Sakura around here... We'll find her and back her up if necessary - while you two find a way to get a message out to Konoha..."
"Right," Sai and Sasuke nodded, dissappearing one way, while Naruto and Yamato turned in the opposite direction.
"You can feel her?" Naruto blinked.
"You try," Tenzo said shortly. "Try. Hard."
"Hmmmmm..." Naruto ran into a tree.
"With your eyes open, idiot," Tenzo laughed at his very blonde partner.
"I felt her alright... but... we're going up hill... AHHHH!!!!"
SPLASH!
Tenzo couldn't but help laugh as he saw that his feisty partner had slipped sideways out of the brush into a large paddy.
"Ah... shit... I'm wet!"
"Naruto... you're a Jounin, for Kami sakes!" Tenzo chuckled. "You should be more mindful of your surroundings! Just because we're going to pick up your sensei doesn't mean we shouldn't be on the alert..."
Naruto sighed.
"Sure..."
He was secretly glad that Sasuke and Sai weren't there...
He could already hear Sasuke in his head.
"Well, dobe... you're just another living proof that man hasn't evolved yet..."
And Sai...
"Idiot just doesn't cover it... but neither does Clumsy... Clumsy Idiot?"
Still...
Pulling himself out of the cold water, wringing his shirt and pants free of excess water, shaking droplets off his hair, Naruto couldn't help but sigh... Then froze. At the sound of a large CRACK!
It was the sound of a wall giving way.
"SAKURA!" Naruto's yell was drowned as the earth above them rumbled.
-----
"Something's happening up there," Sasuke frowned as he sorted out the different chakra flares on the mountain side. "It's not going to be good... We need to hurry..."
"The inn... let's try there..."
The two walked into the small inn.
It was full of terrified farmers, crowded around the bar, clutching their sake cups in frozen hands. The bartender looked stoic, then Sasuke readjusted his hitae ate - everyone relaxed at the familiar sight of the Leaf emblem. A couple of the older men nodded - then another boom sounded from above in the mountains. And everyone froze again.
Sai looked blank, then forced a smile.
"Sorry! We're just having difficulties with a ninja -"
Sasuke elbowed the clueless Jounin.
"How's that supposed to reassure them? Seriously, Sai!"
He turned the group of men.
"Sorry. My companion and I are in need of a messenger pigeons... are they around?"
Another boom.
Sasuke winced.
"Well..." The bartender sighed. "There's the pigeon house in the tower... in the market square. Those will get to Konoha by morning..."
"Thank you," Sasuke smiled.
"Will this... er... is this... ninja, strong?" piped up a young man, with wide eyes. "You guys are... um..."
Sai stared at him, then smiled.
"Well... he's strong... but hopefully we'll be able to stop him before the paddies -"
"Really, Sai... sorry," Sasuke bowed carefully. "We'll get it all taken care of before morning. We just need to send a quick message to the Hokage. I suggest keeping your children and family away from the mountain until one of us sends word..."
The farmers nodded.
"Is it... is there problems with... Hatake-sama?" asked another elderly gentleman.
"Hatake?" Sai asked.
"Minoru-sama," the bartender asked, eyes narrowing.
"He's dead," Sai said bluntly, forgetting to smile. "Ha-"
Sasuke clapped his hand over the insensitive Jounin's mouth.
"Things are going to be resolved soon... no fear. You'll get word from one of us... sooner or later..."
They left the room - filled with shocked whispers.
"Minoru-sama is dead! What are we to do?"
"The farm -"
"We will -"
"He doesn't have -"
"They don't seem to know about Hatake-senpai, do they?" mused Sai.
"Bizarre..."
-----
There was a gaping hole in the wall, and with each gust of wind, a cold breeze drifted over Kakashi's face.
He wasn't holding Sakura any more. Nor was he running after her. He was standing there, in front of his mother's grave, in the dead of winter, crying. It had been a quiet funeral. Papa. Uncle Minaru... a couple of other elderly relatives... and the servants.
They were crying the loudest.
But he didn't cry.
Because his father wasn't crying.
He was to be a proud Hatake. Like his father.
If this was the only thing to make his father proud - to make him happy... he would do it.
It felt cold though. He huddled in his black mourning robes, shivering as the harsh wind blew against his body. Bringing with it a cold stinging rain.
It's so cold here...
-----
He opened his eyes - and saw nothing but darkness... then... eyes adjusting, he could trace the outlines of the bed he lay on. There was a dim lamp burning somewhere. Somewhere... Where...
The thoughts slipped through his fingers unstoppable.
Slick as the rain falling off his nose as he stood watching the ceremonially cremated remains get tucked away in the stone.
But now... this was the bed... it seemed...
He needed to visit the Shrine, he realized. He hadn't been able to visit the large family shrine.
He should. He should pay his respects. After all, his father brought him here, didn't he? And Father always went alone... so... it was up to him...
Kakashi rose out of bed stiffly and staggered outside, ignoring the cool wind -
------
Sakura had managed to land Yukio a punch before he could even sense her. She had left the ANBU in the bedroom - deciding it was as good a time as any to make a light supper and some tea. After all, her old sensei was in good hands now. With ANBU watching over him, Kakashi would be safe.
Yukio would stop him from doing anything stupid if he woke up.
I hope.
She wondered what kind of relationship this ANBU had with Kakashi. From the way they acted on and off the battlefield, it seemed as though they knew each other. Intimately.
CREEEPPPYYY... Inner Sakura intoned, shivering. SOMETHING IS GOING ON THERE...
Twenty minutes went by. Silence was everywhere - lying like a white shroud on the house. As if it were a tomb. A sepulchre. A relic from a long-forgotten era.
The era of the Hatake has long gone passed.
Kakashi-sensei is all that is left now...
All that sounded was the clink of the tea cups and the teapot. The soft bubble-bubble of water, a relaxing kind of sound. Looking around the spacious kitchen, she could swear she heard the creak-creak of wood as servants hurried around attending to the master and mistress of the house... Perhaps the chimes of small good fortune bells... hanging off the veranda. A cat? No. Most likely dogs. Dogs were important to the Hatake...
Now, it was quiet. Too quiet.
After taking her share of the food, she set the rest aside for her new comrade in arms. Without further ado, she walked into the master bedroom - to find the ANBU unmasked, pinning a squirming Kakashi down - the Copy Nin's eyelids fluttered as if stirring out of a deep sleep...
He was waking up - to the feel of hard lips on his mouth, a rough hand pinning his arms down - and a hand tweaking his nipples.
Sakura moved faster then she ever moved in her life - and made a new renovation to the house - a new window... or door - out onto the veranda - in the shape of ANBU Bear. He rose, attempting to swear, feeling his cracked jaw gingerly.
"Shit..."
"You - YOU - YOU -" huffed Sakura, her shoulders heaving in shock, anger and fear.
She turned to Kakashi, he still lay there... arms loosely pulled above his head - his thin, sensitive face - sharp ribs and taut belly exposed... the kimono gaping dangerously open, exposing the sharp lines of bone and muscle leading down to -
Sakura blushed... something hot and heavy squirming around in her belly.
Just watching his face - the slightly swollen lips...
KISSED BY A MAN AND NOT BY ME, DAMMITTT!!! WHY ARE ALL THE CUTE GUYS GAY????!!! wailed Inner Sakura.
Then she froze as realization hit her.
Kakashi-sensei isn't - he can't be -
Inner Sakura vaporized in a bomb.
KAKA-SENSEI IS GAAAYYY!!!!
"What... you got a problem? Jealous?" Yukio sneered.
"Jealous?" Sakura smirked back, pulling Kakashi's kimono back together and the blankets carelessly back over him - pushing her shock into the deep recesses of her mind. "Of a one-sided relationship. I bet the only time he let you have him was when he was either comatose or drunk..."
Yukio flinched.
"So I was right..." Sakura walked through the hole in the wall, cricking her neck. "... how pathetic. You know what that is called?"
"He likes it that way - you don't understand -"
"No. I don't," Sakura clenched her fists. "And I don't want to. At any rate, he's mine now - to care for. Your version of "healing" isn't obviously helping him. After my report, Tsunade-sama will have all the required proof to pull him out of ANBU. Forever, if I have my way."
"You can't take him from me... he's -"
"He's not yours. He's himself..." Sakura's face grew grimmer. "It's time he think for himself - about himself..."
"You - you -"
Sakura took a punch to the jaw, then twisting around, slammed her fist into the ANBU's belly. Before his hand could reach the hilt of his katana, Sakura flew forward, hand filled with chakra along her fingers - to slice down his arm, invisibly severing the tendons. He fell forward, choking back a scream of agony, swearing - you bitch - over and over. There was no mercy in her gaze as she kicked him across the clearing - and then leapt back adeptly avoiding the bomb he triggered and threw haphazardly in her direction.
A sakura tree blew everywhere, shards of wood digging into her arms and his unprotected body. The boom, resounding around the valley, sounded worse than the actual damage. She was basically unhurt - as for the ANBU - the severed tendon in his arm was still giving him trouble.
No sealing meant no jutsus.
Before she could slam him the appropriate six feet into the ground, Yamato stopped her. Beyond her, Naruto burst into the master bedroom.
"SAKURA! WHERE'S KAKA-SENSEI?"
"He's in bed!" She yelled, jerking away from Yamato, who was bending over the snarling ANBU.
"He's not THERE!"
Sakura and Yukio froze.
-----
Kakashi...
-----
His feet remembered small winding path easily. It was further up the mountainside - just a little ways away.
It was okay. Nobody really cared if he left the house anymore. Soon he'd be back home in town...
Papa had said that there was a couple things for him to do...
Kakashi wasn't to worry his head about it.
"You're only three... but... when we go back, I will start teaching you how to throw kunai, okay?"
Kakashi's smile had flickered to life - then died as he watched his father leave to visit the Shrine, yet again.
Now it was his turn.
This would be the last time he'd be able to visit.
It was so cold - under his feet.
I should have worn shoes...
Wasn't I wearing shoes...
He found the shrine easily enough - it looked -
The image jumped - no longer clean, trim and crisp -
The image jumped - it was run-down, the paint peeling, door sagging - and inside -
Flash -
The heavy scents made him lightheaded -
Flash -
It smelled so stale...
Flash -
The candles were lit -
His father had just left then...
Flash -
It was dark - fumbling around with the ease of forgotten familiarity, Kakashi found some stumps of old candles and a box of very old matches kept in the small drawer underneath. He lit the match - and there they were -
The forgotten faces...
Behind cracked glass. Reaching up, he traced the black and white photograph of his mother gently.
Her face - it wasn't -
Taking off the fragile photograph, he scrubbed at stained glass frantically -
He HAD to see her. He missed her. Not just that... missed her face.
It was a nightmare.
This had to be...
"Mother..."
He was crying freely now. The grass... cracking upward in his hands. It was horrifying to see the blood smearing across the glass - the wood frame - the precious, precious face underneath...
It was so young. So happy.
Why did you have leave us - Father and I needed you so much...
Passion curling his fists tighter, the glass buried deeper into his hands and wrists -
"KAKASHI!"
"KAKASHI!"
His eyes opened dizzily -
That voice...
Those voices...
Yuk-
Sakura...
Sakura...
"I found you, Sensei!"
"He's bleeding! Naruto! Get back to the house - get towels, bandages and hot water! Yamato -"
"Got it..."
"Kakashi! Kakashi!" Yukio was prying the man's hands off the photograph, awkwardly with his one hand - desperation and anguish matching his ANBU partner. "Come on... It's okay..."
Sakura's eyebrow twitched, her Inner Sakura flaring in anger.
WHAT THE HELL... DOES. HE. THINK. HE'S. DOING...
"It's okay... it's okay..."
Sakura's eyes widened as Kakashi shoulders released slowly, Yamato eased the photograph away.
"I'll take him," Yamato said severely, his voice brooking no argument.
Sakura followed the Jounin out and then paused - Yukio hadn't budged.
Then he scooted forward and awkwardly picked up the photograph - shaking out the glass, setting the laughing picture of Hatake Hanako back onto the ledge. Two white half melted candles found their spots on either side - then slowly, the matches were struck, lit - and Sakura wondered -
What prayer had been offered.
-----
Kakashi woke up half way through the night and Sakura, jumped to attention when noticing the faint stirring under the sheets. He said nothing - and she sat there watching him - unnoticed - watching the deep pools of shadows which were his eyes...
Then he turned to the light of the moon filtering through window, where the curtains had fallen open. The moon looked so serene - floating over the gentle petals of the sakura trees which stood at the front of the house. Their fragrance drifting in on the now gentle breeze smelled of sorrow and... hope...
Hope, because as he watched the pink blend with the night, he knew that another Sakura was there.
Hanako...
Flower child...
The moon blurred -
Two arms wrapped around his shoulders - the warmth of her breath brushing across his neck. Her face snuggling into the crook of his neck, nestling there with his bushy hair... He could feel her breasts through the thin layers of clothes between them - pressing close - against his shoulder blades...
"You can cry..."
He turned then -
And in the dark, the moonlight made her green eyes like a shimmering pond - and her hair - as pink as the trees outside...
Hanako, truly -
"You can cry," she repeated softly - sincerely. "You don't have to pretend. I understand..."
So he did.
For those who might wonder about Sasuke and Sai...
Entering the mansion...
Naruto: WHERE THE HECK WERE YOU GUYS?
Sasuke:Where do you THINK, Pigeon Brain?
Naruto: SASSSSUUKKKEEE-TTTTEEEEEEEEMMMMMEEEE!!!
Sai: Hey, Scary-eyes!
Tenzo: WHAT?
Sakura stomps in and beats the four Jounin up.
Sakura: SHUT THE HELL UP, IDIOTS! YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE KAKASHI UP!!!!
Yukio: (sulking in the corner) Idiots...
Sakura beats on Yukio again... stomps out.
Sasuke: Scarrryyy...
Naruto: (crying) She's calling Kakashi-sensei in a familiar way...
Sai and Tenzo: ... (thinking) He finally realizes? Maybe?
Yukio: Is she even a woman?
Sakura: (yelling from next room) I HEARD THAT, BASTARD!
Silence...
----------------------------------------------------
Chapter 32
Home
I'd like to say that the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the clouds white and puffy when we got home... but... it was raining, and we were wet and damp and tired... and Kakashi looked like he was going to be blown away by the next gale of wind... All of us... miserable... And Yukio, glaring daggers at my back the whole way...
Reality sucks.
-----------------------------------
Anime I'm Watching/Obsessing Over: Naruto, Bleach, Saiunkoku Monogatari, Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto, Nodame Cantabile, Peacemaker Kurogane, D. Grayman, Death Note, Tokyo Majin Gakuen Kenpucho, Yamato Nadeshiko Kichi Henge (Wallflower), Princess Princess
Movies: Harry Potter...
Mood: .
Soundtracks: Blood+, Saiunkoku Monogatari, Bakumatsu Kikansetsu, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, Bleach