AN: Fran makes it shine, Ariel and Jill keep me sane.

A lot of you had some nasty things to say about James. Don't worry, he's not THE James. It's just a common name, these two will have plenty to worry about as it is. ;)

Without further ado….

Chapter Nineteen: Bella

"Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun do, do, do

Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles

My homecoming is much more positive than I imagined it would be, but I know the storm is brewing on the horizon. There was no believable excuse available for why I up and left Columbus, so I know Rose and Emmett aren't about to let me by with a half-assed explanation yet again.

And honestly?

I'm sick of hiding it. For decades, every member of this family has had the other half of their hearts walking through life with them. I didn't even know mine was missing, but now that I do, I genuinely don't have it in me to feel guilty about it. Just because the words haven't been spoken between us yet, doesn't mean my love for Edward is any less real than any other couple in the family.

The only difference is, I probably don't get to keep him. Not unless I damn him to living this life, and that's something I'm not sure I'm willing to do. I absolutely will not tell him what we are. It puts every single person I love in danger, and I can't risk any of them. Even if it means I eventually have to let him go to lead a nice, normal, human life.

I'm just going to enjoy him while I can.

Nothing could pry the smile off my face by the time I walk in the door. Thankfully, Carlisle is the first person I see right as I receive Edward's picture message. Fuck, I can't believe how much I miss him already. It feels all sorts of wrong that he's all the way in his apartment, and I'm here. I've been spoiled, and it's only going to make this harder when it has to end.

Pushing that thought from my head, I have to suppress my gasp when I open the picture he sent me. He's all rumpled and sleepy-looking, shirtless, laying in the same bed I was in just a few days ago. His eyes are a little squinty, his hair a complete mess, and his smile completely smitten. It's not the sexy smirk he sometimes shoots me when he's approximately thirty seconds from making me come on his fingers or his tongue. Instead, it's the blissfully happy smile I get when he's just woken up, and the realization hits that I'm still there. It's one of my favorites.

Part of me is very tempted to send a shirtless picture back to him, but my family is around, and if this boy starts sexting me, I will no longer be responsible for my actions.

I want to send him something, though, so I pose for a quick, silly selfie, angling the phone so I capture Carlisle behind me. A subtle message to Edward that I made it home okay.

And maybe a little bit of a warning that he should behave. Even if I really, really don't want him to.

Carlisle doesn't even flinch when I move him into the frame. We live with Alice Cullen, after all, we're used to our picture being taken with absolutely no warning.

"I'm going to assume you enjoyed yourself?" He inquires, pulling me into a hug and placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"It feels wrong to say I did, considering why I went in the first place, but...yeah, I really did," I know I'm practically swooning from the tone of my voice, a few notes higher than I normally speak with an airy, dreamlike quality that is only ever Edward induced. I'm full-on fucking twitterpated. You know, like Bambi? "So, where is everyone?"

It's rare to walk into the Cullen estate, especially after being gone so long, and not be swarmed by vampires ready to pull your attention every which way. I guess it's good to be loved and missed, but shit. I can hear Alice and Jasper up in their bedroom, where she's rambling on about some new design, and I can feel the complete happy energy that fills the house from Jasper's power. He's twitterpated, too, always has been. Until now, I found it kind of sickening, but lately, I'm changing my mind about a lot of things.

Esme is in the kitchen...watching TV? Is she watching cooking shows? Pots and pans are clanging, knives chopping, dishes clattering...sounds I haven't heard in this house in years. Occasionally, she'll insist on throwing a dinner party for their colleagues, but it doesn't happen often.

"Better question, what the hell is Mom doing?"

Carlisle laughs, his eyes lighting up with that familiar gleam of affection he always has when it comes to Esme. "She has it in her head that eventually, you may want to bring the boy home."

Jesus Christ.

"I...I can't do that," I stutter.

"Maybe, maybe not," He shrugs. Carlisle rarely shrugs. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen the man shrug in five decades. It's not indifference; it feels more like...indulgence, maybe. Like he's indulging me in thinking I can't have Edward around here, but it's not really what he believes. "You know how she is; she loves to cook and rarely has the chance, so she's polishing her technique."

"That's so wholesome." My hand comes up to my chest, over my frozen heart, but I really am warmed by her efforts. Esme tends to give me this fuzzy-inside feeling often. If the term 'heart of gold' ever personified itself, she would be the result. There's not a rotten bone in that one, I tell ya.

Unconsciously, my feet carry me to the least used room of our home, where the sight of my mother looking like she stepped straight out of a fifty's sitcom meets me. She's pulled out all the stops, with her favorite, red vintage dress complete with fire engine red lipstick, her hair perfectly coiffed into soft waves, and a frilly, cherry-covered apron covering the front of her. It's like she's method acting or something; it's fucking adorable.

The kitchen, however, is a mess. Flour and other various ingredients cover the counters, all manner of dishes pulled from the cabinets, half of which I've never seen before in my life, and I haven't the foggiest idea what they do. Stacks and stacks of cookbooks are piled in the corners, and a new, flat-screen TV is mounted on the wall opposite the sink, in direct view from our massive granite kitchen island.

"Did Betty Crocker throw up in here?" I ask, unable to stop the smile that pulls at my lips when my mother's beaming face looks up from her task. It may look like she's waged war in this room, but she seems happy about it.

"Bella, sweet girl, I've missed you. Did you enjoy your visit?" Dropping everything to the counter, she rushes to pull me into her maternal embrace, covering the front of my shirt with flour. I don't even have it in me to care. I missed her, too, even if I wouldn't trade my time with Edward for the world.

Alice chooses that moment to snap out of her designing stupor, and I hear her tiny little fairy feet make their way to join us. I don't believe for a second she just now realized I was home, just that for some reason, she wasn't in a hurry to finish whatever she was working on.

"Oh, Mother, you have no idea just how good of a time she had," my little sister chirps, skipping up beside me and nudging me with her shoulder. She may be little physically, but she's much older than me, of course.

"You've been watching? Alice, that's disgusting!" I groan, crossing my arms over my chest as if it can hide what she's already seen.

"Well, I certainly didn't tune in all the time, but I had to check in periodically to make sure you didn't suddenly need a snack, didn't I?" Her big, gold eyes are wide and innocent and, like...yeah, she has a point but still. Ew.

"I, for one, greatly appreciated it, darlin'," Jasper pipes up, throwing his arm over my shoulder. "So, thank you." When I turn my head to look at him, his mouth is tilted in that unnaturally endearing sideways grin of his.

"What? Thank you? Why are you thanking me?"

"For personally streaming porn to my wife's brain. It bade very well for our sex life," he ruffles my hair even as I scowl and shrug away from his hold on me.

"That is disgusting." Shaking my head, I take a step toward Esme so she can protect me from this insanity.

She doesn't disappoint, tucking me under her arm, smoothing down my mussed hair, and waving her other hand in the air to halt the conversation. Thank fucking God. "Okay, that's quite enough. This is not exactly polite conversation."

"Yeah," I add, sticking my tongue out like the child I am.

"Come on, Bella, we're all adults here," Alice says, rolling her eyes. "Besides, you know you need to hunt before you head back to Edward's."

"That's fair, but I just got home. Are you chasing me away already?" I tease, not bothering to outright disagree with her. But she knows as well as I and everyone in this outhouse, I'm not going to be able to stay away for long.

"I'm not even going to justify that with a response. Are you coming, Jazz?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugs, grabbing Alice's hand and pulling her in the direction of our woods.

"Those two make me sick," I grouse, leaning into Esme's side for just a bit longer.

Esme laughs, pointing a wooden spoon I didn't know we owned at me. "Hm, perhaps, but something tells me you and Edward are just as bad," she taunts. "Oh, I can't wait to meet him! How exciting?"

Rather than sticking around to get into all the details of why that may not happen and breaking my poor, sweet mother's heart, I kiss her on the cheek and follow my siblings, leaping from the front porch and enjoying the sensation of being able to run for the first time in a week.

Even as I run, though, I can't help but think...something tells me that Edward would really like Esme.

Two bucks and one doe later, I'm on the verge of feeling sloshy—like my body is filled with too much liquid—when arms like tree trunks wrap themselves around my waist with absolutely no warning whatsoever. Before I have time to process what's happening, I'm being flipped into the air and thrown backward over a brawny shoulder. Whoever is attacking me is making a really big mistake by doing so when I'm still in huntress mode. I'm instantly clawing at the body beneath me, shredding the charcoal gray cotton of the shirt covering their back.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, chill the fuck out, you're coming with me, and I'm not letting you go until I get some goddamn answers." A gruff, amused voice says. When I connect the dots and realize Emmett is the one behind the attack, my panic ebbs, and panic is quickly replaced with blinding anger.

"What the actual fuck, asshole? Put me down!" I scream, seeing Alice and Jasper flit away from the corner of my eye. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! I hate you all!"

My fists slam into Emmett's back, and the fucker doesn't even flinch. I'm no match for him, at least not from this position. I have him in spades on speed and can sometimes get the upper hand when the element of surprise is on my side, but once he has me, I'm nearly helpless against his strength.

But Emmett isn't fazed by my tiny little fists on his back, and he continues flying through the forest with his brand-new Bella Backpack in tow. I don't have any idea where he's taking me, but soon he's leading me down into some creepy ass cavern underground.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I exclaim, my anger spiking higher when he laughs at me.

"Making sure you can't get away from me easily until you tell me what the fuck you went to Chicago for," he weaves me through tunnel after tunnel, as if he's trying to confuse me, but I'm memorizing every twist and turn. He must know this isn't enough to keep me down. The second he lets me go, I'm out. Speed, remember?

"I went for business," I state stubbornly. I mean, not a complete lie. Edward is the only business I ever want to do...heh.

"Sis, I know I'm pretty, but I'm not dumb. Brains, brawn, and beauty, how do you think I keep Rose around?"

"Where is the beauty queen, anyhow?" I've decided to give up my struggle, propping my elbow on his back and resting my chin in my hand.

"I convinced her to let me talk to you, mano a mano first." Huh. I'm impressed. Emmett is the only one that can ever convince Rose of anything. Ever.

"She's pissed, isn't she?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. Makes for some hot lovin', though, so by all means, keep it up."

"I'm not thrilled that I seem to be the driving force behind my siblings' sex lives," I sigh, sorely tempted to kick my brother in his shins when he laughs. I'm sure Jasper has been bragging about his love life with Alice. He plays the sweet gentleman card well with those that don't know him, and he is much more civilized than Emmett, but he can be a pig sometimes, too.

Finally, Em seems to decide that we've traveled far enough into the center of the earth for him to stop and let me down. The moment my feet touch the ground and his hands leave my hips, I'm off, speeding through caves of dripping stalactites and stalagmites. It's actually quite pretty down here, really, crystals and minerals impeded into the rocks around me, my heightened sight observing every shining facet around me. I wonder how he found this place.

I'm a bit taken aback when I hear Emmett's laughter once again, this time echoing down the tunnels, shortly followed by the grinding crunch of breaking rocks. Next thing I know, my path is cut off, the cave before me, collapsed. I could dig out if I really wanted to, but the message is clear; no more running. I need to come clean.

Sighing in defeat, I make my way back to the spot I left my big oaf of a brother at a human pace, just to grind on his nerves that little extra bit. Not that it works; very little grinds his gears.

"Done running from your problems?" He asks, one brow crooked and his arms crossed over his chest in arrogant defiance.

I huff, throwing myself down dramatically on a nearby rock platform. "There may be a boy…" I hedge quietly, my nail digging a line into the stone beside me.

"A what now?" He cups his hand by his ear as if he didn't hear me perfectly well, his dimpled grin pulling my guard down in a way only Emmett can.

You see, Emmett is probably the purest soul on Earth. He's built like a brick shithouse, but there's not a single vindictive bone in his body. He's all about love, family, fighting, and fucking. The fighting only being done in play or to defend one of us. He's rarely angry, never judgmental, and the only reason I haven't already told him about Edward is his not-so-sunny other half. In fact, he'll probably be thrilled to find out I'm getting semi-laid.

As for his wife...I love Rose, but she's a bitch. It's okay; she knows it and wears it like a badge of honor. She's the one person in this family I just don't want to deal with sometimes.

"I said there's a boy, idiot," I grumble.

"I fucking knew it!" He claps his hands together in victory, causing some small stones to shake loose from the walls and fall to the ground.

"But wait, there are no other vampires anywhere near us. Is that why you had to go to Chicago? But no...that doesn't make sense. You wouldn't be so secretive if it were a vampire." I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to analyze and dissect this massive secret I apparently have.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit. Iz, are you telling me you're in love with a human?" Aaaand, there it is. Good job, buddy.

"I didn't say I was in love…" Even as I say it, I can't meet his eyes. He knows me too well to accept that bullshit response.

"But you are, or you wouldn't be sneaking around like this. Rose is going to kill you. She's going to rip you apart all by herself," he's laughing, but I hear the edge of panic in his voice.

"Yeah, well, fuck Rose," I cross one leg over the other and flip my hair in defiance.

"I will after she kills you." Except I know better. He would stop her. Hell, she would want him to stop her. She may get angry, but she would never want to risk messing up her perfect appearance by tearing me to shreds.

And I think she kind of likes me sometimes. She would miss me.

"Esme and Carlisle won't let that happen. Neither will you, and you know it."

"My massive schlong can only accomplish so much, little sis." The motherfucker actually thrusts the air as he says this.

"Would you stop? I've had enough of the sex talk, Jesus."

"You wouldn't say that if you were getting laid."

Apparently, responding with silence and violently avoiding looking in his direction was not the correct response.

"Doth my eyes deceive me? Is my sweet little baby Bella finally getting some?" He gasps, clutching his chest dramatically.

"That's none of your business," I lift my nose in the air defiantly.

Silence fills the caverns, but Emmett is smart enough to know when to push and when not to. I know this won't be the end of the conversation or the teasing I'm sure will come my way, but he doesn't say anything else about it as he takes a seat next to me.

"So, tell me about him," he says softly, nudging my shoulder with his hard enough to rock me a bit.

"Why? It's not like it matters. You won't ever meet him, and it can't last forever." I'm a stubborn broken record at this point, but it's true.

"And why not? We've all done stupid shit for love. Spill."

Okay, he's got a point there. After all, Emmett wouldn't be here if it weren't for the stupid thing Rose did for love.

"His name's Edward Masen. He's in the class I TA for with Carlisle."

"Ah, so he's hot for teacher then?"

I can't help but grin, thinking maybe I could exploit that to tease Edward. Show up in a tight black skirt and white button-up shirt, a pencil holding my hair up in a bun. Pulling it out and letting my hair fall before tempting him to bend me over a desk.

"Stop fucking him in your head while you're talking to me; that's gross," Emmett snaps, pulling me out of my little fantasy.

"I so don't want to hear it after fifty years of hearing all the nasty, depraved shit you two get up to."

Of course, all that does is boost his already-inflated ego, and I don't even turn my head to know he's wearing a huge, cocky, dimpled grin.

"You're smitten. It's cute," his tone has softened, taken on a more protective, brotherly tone. "Be careful, Bells."

"I am, Em. He doesn't know anything...about us, I mean."

"But you're bumping uglies?" There it is. He had a moment of weakness, but I knew it wouldn't last forever.

I wince. "Not exactly, no."

"Well shit, why not? Tanya and them manage it. As long as you're well fed, I don't see the problem. Get you some, girl," he nudges my shoulder again, and I shoot him a glare.

"It's not that easy, Em. He's, uh...well, he's kind of…"

"Gay? Religious?" He mocks a gasp. "A virgin?"

If I were a human, this would be the moment I choke on air or something, but I'm not, so instead, I just bite my lip and look away, attempting to school my features enough that I don't let the truth slip. "He's my singer."

No, I didn't deny Edward is a virgin, but I also didn't confirm it. Deflection. I'm the queen of it.

Silence settles over us for just a moment, and I'm scared of looking at my mountain of a brother; scared of what I'll see when I do. He's the only one in the family who's ever encountered their singer, and there was zero hesitation before he attacked. They've mentioned it to me before, but I never imagined it would happen to me.

"I...don't see the issue," he finally says. My head snaps in his direction, my eyes wide and alert. "Don't look at me like that. If you lose your cool, you lose your cool. We've all had our moments of weakness over the years. We can move again, no biggie."

"Yes, biggie. I care about him, Em. More than I should."

"So then change him."

Everything is so simple to Emmett. Always has been. To him, this life was a gift. To the rest of us, we're damned. Forced to live with no exact purpose, eternally. That's why my family has created their own purpose. Each other. Learning. Doing good. Improving the world we're forced to live in.

Taking Edward out of this world in that way would be the exact opposite of improving it.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I say sadly.

Before I know it, Emmett is standing up and pulling me with him, and his arms are around me in his signature bear hug. There's nothing in this world quite as comforting as an Emmett hug.

"It's gonna be okay, little B. Alice wouldn't be pushing for this to happen if it weren't. Trust her."

I want to trust her. I really, really do. But there's that piece of my heart that won't let go of the fact that Edward is for now—not forever. I just have to make sure I cherish every minute with him.

My feet barely hit the porch before Rose is flying through the front door, all scary-pretty with her teeth bared and her hands curled into claws.

She won't attack me. She has too much respect for Esme to do that. But that won't stop her from unleashing her fury.

"I never pegged you to be so stupid, Bella," she hisses, like a wild hellcat. I expected this, though, so I hardly even respond.

"I'm not stupid, Rose," I respond calmly, which only pisses her off more.

"No? What do you think is going to happen? You're putting all of us in danger for nothing."

"Edward is not nothing," I snap. She should know this about me. Insult me all you want; I don't care, but when you start insulting the people I love? I go from zero to fuck you real fucking quick.

"He is. He's not worth destroying this family. I expected more from you."

"Save the dramatics, please. I'm not doing anything wrong. He doesn't know anything, and he won't know anything." I go to shove my way past her, but she blocks me.

Lord, grant me the strength. I really don't want to hit my sister today. Not in Esme's pretty new home.

"So, what? You think he won't notice you're different? Even if he does, do you think he'll just accept it? They'll kill us all, Bella; how selfish can you be?"

"Mm, about as selfish as the pretty little blonde maiden that ran into the dying human boy, shredded by a bear, and begged Daddy to change him so she could have a cute little toy to play with?"

It's a low blow. I don't mean it. But she's pissing me off, so I'm lashing out.

Emmett taps my arm with the back of his hand. "Hey, chill out. I have no problem being a boy toy."

I so desperately want to say, 'she started it,' but I refrain. Barely.

"Whatever, I'm not having this conversation. There's no point. He's not a threat to us." This time I do shove past her, but only because Emmett pulls her to him, and she turns and storms off to the garage. Fine by me, let him calm her down. I don't have the energy.

Jasper and Alice must still be gone since he hasn't shown up to calm us down. I'm beyond irritated, but I join Esme in the kitchen and play the good daughter anyway. She's the main reason I'm even home, so it's the least I can do.

Edward and I text back and forth the whole time, though it doesn't escape my notice that he definitely didn't sleep as long as he has been. I feel guilty I wasn't there to help him rest, but my family needs me too.

I try to stay at the house for a whole twenty-four hours. I swear I do. But the energy is all off, with Rose angry and Jasper and Alice still gone, probably doing what married couples do. And the other half of my heart is pulling me back toward campus.

When Edward texts me around 11 PM the next night, I have no choice anymore. I need to be with him.

Come back to me, love. I can't take it anymore.

-Edward

He's like my siren song. Up until now, he's said he's missed me but hasn't directly requested my return.

I'm spineless when it comes to him, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Go, sweet Bella. Go be with him. And bring him to see us soon," Esme says, squeezing me into a one-armed hug.

She doesn't have to tell me twice. It doesn't take me long to say my goodbyes, and the second I'm back in my car, I press the button to make a call through the Bluetooth.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this call, darling?" The sultry voice of my cousin comes through the speakers, surrounding me in the essence of sex like she always does.

Perfect.

"Tanya, I need some advice."

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