Don't have much to say today. Sorry the story development is so slow, I know nothing happened since they came back from Rio, which is like chapter 16 or 17. But please keep in mind that this is my first multi-chaptered fic, and I don't really know how or where to take this messed up story. As always, critics and constructive flames are welcome.

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Shade POV

Click.

I tensed and lifted my gun again as if the cold metal thing could protect me from whatever was lurking behind the door.

I didn't believe in ghosts or mythical creatures, but I did believe in assassins. And really, what was the difference between assassins and ghosts? They were both hard to see or catch, and both of them killed people.

It was what they were made to do, after all.

"Who's there?" I said carefully, trying to make my voice steady.

Click.

"Zach? Is it-"

Click.

I heard that sound somewhere, but I just couldn't place where. "What the fuck is happe-"

Click.

I knew that sound.

It was a rhythmical sound that I'd memorized from my heart, from my mind and shattered soul.

Click. Tap.

The gun slipped from my fingers and dropped on the floor. I fell to my knees and swept the floor to grab the Glock again, but only the icy marble floor was smooth against my skin.

The once-cool air now suffocated me, and I just couldn't breathe. Everything was wrong, I wasn't even supposed to be there. But here I was, in the place where I dreaded and dreamt of.

Only one, shattered and fragile word escaped my lips. "...Catherine? "

Zach POV

I was setting the security cameras back up on the building when I felt my watch buzz with a hasty ring. A frown set on my face, since there was no way Code Black could be ringing right now. There were several security codes we set for this building, the way Gallagher was all the years ago. I ran through the codes and protocols automatically, my brain reacting before my body did.

Code Black: Intruder in office. Immediate lockdown procedure in room 5-A.

Code White: Civilian in the building. Auto-lock floors five and B1.

Code Green: Under attack-Level 1. Attack on the compound. Shutdown of windows and doors, rooftop exit open. Minimum damage on building as possible. Prioritize capturing enemies.

Code Blue: Under attack-Level 2 Attack on the compound. Shutdown of windows. Prioritize defeating enemies.

Code Red: Under attack-Level 3 Attack on the compound. No shutdown procedure. Prioritize defeating the enemies.

Code Silver: Under attack-Level 4. Abandon building. Fewer casualties as possible.

Code Gold: Under attack-Level 5. Emergency escape system. Every Agent alive is required to escape immediately.

Even though five levels were existing, we've never gone as far as Code Gold in our usual defence. For one, we weren't even attacked that often, and even if we were, they always ended up at Code Green. The reason why we've never thought of activating Code Gold was probably that Code Gold was made as a final, last struggle when there was no hope left.

And although I've reached my rock bottom several times, I wasn't ready to announce it for all of us.

Unlike Code Green to Gold which was about the severity of attacks, Code Black was the info security codes me and my friends set for the building since the information we had shouldn't be exploited out in the public. The information of all the weaknesses, networking and contacts of billionaires and politicians around the world leaked out in the public, could wreak havoc the size of a mini-World war. And I definitely didn't want that.

I had enough dead lives on me already.

"Who is it?" Quietly making my way back to room 5-A, which was technically my office, I slipped the CZ into my hands and held it up, preparing to shoot on a second's notice.

'Was it Mallory? Did she let our info slip?' I did have a vague hint of who it might be, but it was only a slight guess and I had to stay objective.

"-s there?" A muffled voice flitted out of the heavily sealed door. The door was so heavily decorated with metal locks that I couldn't even figure out whether it was a woman or a man. "-Zach? Is-"

My grip tightened on the cold metal weapon. I slid my finger between the door's left handle and pressed my fingerprint on the slightly heated surface of it.

Click.

The first lock of molten metal came off with a small sound, unhinging the door by a hitch.

Click.

Another of the four latches released its hold. "-the fuck is-"

Click. Click.

Without letting doubt fill my mind, I kicked the door open and slammed the metal inwards, cringing inwardly at the screech it made.

"Hands up." I readied myself for a man, or even a woman wearing white masks to reveal themselves from the dark, trying to shoot me down. "Wait, why are you...?"

What I saw, surprised me so much that I almost tripped on my own feet. The person who set off my alarms, was Shade, curled up in the corner of my room and covering her head with pale hands.

"...Don't." A tiny whimper escaped her dry lips. Shade looked so sick, so broken inside the dark room. She sounded vulnerable, which was the last thing I'd expect from Shade. "Please don't, I'm sorry. I won't do that again-"

"Shade? Are you okay?" She didn't answer. That was when I realized that she was hyperventilating, her breathing too quick and eyes too wide. "Shade, look at me."

A drop of tear rolled down her cheeks, liquid crystal reflecting the single beam of light slipping inside from a small crack on the door. "...I'm sorry, Catherine. I-I don't-" I froze at the name and clenched my hands to keep from punching something in anger.

Shade was seeing things that weren't here. Precisely, she was being tortured by Catherine right now, her surroundings mimicking those of Catherine's base for some reason and bringing back those horrible memories.

"Shade, you're not with Catherine right now." I put down the gun, and carefully held her rigid arms in my hands. Her palms were wet with sweat, unrhythmic trembles running through them occasionally. "It's me, Zachary."

"No-No, don't hurt me, I'll be a good girl-" Now I was shaking with raw anger, the bright and colourful pictures Catherine left for me before merging with her panicked voice. I knew exactly what she went through because that was what happened to me when I was young.

I could almost feel the hot edge of a knife on my arm, drawing a bloody trail down my skin.

Shuddering to erase the memory from my head, I lifted her chin and met the frenzied hazel eyes with mine. The round disks of hazel brown were scared, terrified like those of an injured animal trapped and left alone to die. Her lips opened as if to scream, but no sound came out. "Please... I-It hurts-" She suddenly stopped speaking, as my arms wrapped around her lean shoulders and neck. "I... Who are..."

Shade entire body went stiff under my embrace, but slowly, very slowly, she relaxed into my touch. Gently, I stroked her back, pulling the dark black hair behind her collarbone and taking in Shade's scent deeply.

"It's okay." She was much thinner than three years ago, which was the last time I hugged her like this. But Cammie still smelled like Cammie, hazel candies, sweet and soft. A tinge of gun oil and powder lingered in her hair, as I buried my face over her shorter frame. "Everything's going to be fine."

"I-I didn't want to kill them-" It broke me.

"Shade, it's okay." I repeated again and again like those two words would protect her-protect us-from whatever was haunting our lives. "It's... Everything's okay."

I wasn't sure who I was comforting, the crying girl having a panic attack in my arms or a broken boy who is a part of me that I never wanted to face.

Hazel disks sparkled, drops of liquid fire dancing in them. "It's not my fault-I didn't-" Her eyes glazed again, pulling her back to the chambers of Catherine's room. "No, it's all me-I did it, I'll do as you say-"

The only things I could tell her were scattered pieces of the truth. "-I know. I understand, Shade... Cammie."

We sat like that for a while, my hands wrapped around her body and Shade's face hidden under my neckline. After a few minutes of incoherent sobs and whispers, she settled down over me, her breathing even.

Sighing, I took her sleeping figure to the bed and laid her down, brushing my lips against her hairline. I knew it would be a long time-possibly forever-until I could hug her like this again. So I wanted to cherish this moment, watching her closed eyes as she slept off the terrors of her past.

Shade's sleeping face was calm and peaceful, so unlike the tense aura, she emitted when awake. A soft pearl glow seemed to light up her face, and I couldn't resist leaning down to plant to small kiss on her lips. She tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, like dark chocolate mixed with candies.

"Sweet dreams, Shade." With a reluctant sigh, I pulled away and set the blankets over her frame. Her eyebrows were slightly creased, but aside from that, she looked fine.

I was about to walk out when cold fingers held onto my wrists lightly. "...Shade?" Hazel eyes flashed open and met mine, seeming to glow even in the dark.

A tinge of red hinted at her cheeks. "...on't go." Shade's quiet voice was muffled against the pillow. I frowned and turned to look back at her, leaning on the edge of the desk.

"What?" Her hands tightened around my wrists.

"...Don't go. Stay." The simple sentence made a rare smile grace my lips. It was a genuine smile, unlike the fake one I've been showing others recently.

"...Okay." I said quietly, slipping back onto the bed beside Shade. She clung to my hands and snuggled closer, a content sigh echoing in the room. "I'll be here, go to sleep."

I settled next to her, but Shade didn't let go of my wrist. Instead, she looked up at me with her deep brown eyes and smiled. "...Thanks."

Maybe it changed nothing. Maybe it changed everything.

But it helped me remember there was Cammie somewhere deep inside those cold barriers of hers. And from that moment, I knew, I was going to bring my girlfriend back.

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I'll try to update quickly from now on :)

Your lover: Well, for K-pop, it's not that accurate in actual spoken languages. They're more poetic and in my personal opinion, sappier than the language we use in real life. But for K-dramas, they're pretty accurate and it reflects Korean slang pretty well too. If you want to build listening abilities, I strongly recommend Korean dramas, specifically recent ones. They'll help you understand curse words as well as casual conversations between natives.

I'm more of a spoken language style, though I don't have much trouble writing, as you can see. I've talked to a lot of English natives and I really enjoyed speaking about my ideas instead of writing it, mainly cuz grammatical errors are less prominent when talking ;)

And since some of you don't have accounts and won't be able to get update alerts, I'll make a small heads up about my update schedule.

I update about once a week, which is on average. If you came here on Monday and found an update, it's most likely that I'll get a new chapter out by the next Monday. If not, it means that I'm up to some RL shit and won't be able to come for a while :) Hope all of you are enjoying my story, and thanks for the support!