Underpaid, Undersexed, and Under Custodio
Chapter 9: Masterful Service
Ainz heard a powerful, yet elegant, voice resonate through his skull, "Greetings, Lord Ainz, how may I be of service?"
'Gentlemanly as always, Sebas.' Ainz really quite enjoyed Sebas' mannerisms. He always liked the idea of having a butler, but more importantly, Sebas acted like a normal servant for the most part. That meant no overbearing worship and no other more uncomfortable quirks. He would much rather have a conversation with Sebas then someone like Albedo, Shalltear, or even Cocytus, though he loved them all the same.
Ainz didn't realize it, but deep down he secretly craved a return to normalcy, whatever that meant now. He missed having equals, as arrogant as that may sound. He didn't even get that when he was posing as Momon, at least not after his first mission. He remembered enjoying his time with that adventuring team before he displayed his power, and before they were all murdered by Clementine…
The voice sounded again, now with the smallest hint of concern creeping through, "Lord Ainz? Is something the matter?"
Ainz realized that he had allowed himself to become lost in his thoughts and quickly responded, "My apologies, Sebas. Are you very busy at the moment?"
"Not at all, Lord Ainz, things are going smoothly here." Sebas' response was swift, his voice returning to its dutiful, almost monotone, candor.
Ainz felt a small rush of relief, "That is very good, Sebas. I would like to come and see the progress you have made for myself. Also, I am sure that Demiurge has contacted you with the news of my new subordinate, I would like to introduce her to you and your friend."
'Well, maybe calling her a friend is no longer accurate, but I'd like to avoid any awkwardness, especially with Neia around.'
Either way, he was really hoping this would work out. Of course, if Sebas was busy with something then it wouldn't be worth interrupting him, he could simply message the twins instead. Still, he felt that this would be a very good thing for Neia, Sebas was the one who would show better than anyone else in Nazarick that they weren't all bad, even more so than someone like Cixous could. More so than himself, he was sure.
"That would not be a problem, I will head for the entrance hall now if that is what you wish, Lord Ainz."
"Good, we will be there shortly." He then quickly added, "Please do your best to accommodate Neia, she is still adapting to Nazarick's procedures, I am sure you understand." Neia looked a little surprised at this, and a small smile grew on her face, which made Ainz feel satisfied with his request.
"Of course, Lord Ainz. Perhaps I will have Tuare brew some tea."
Ainz then gave a quick thanks and ended the spell.
He wasn't sure why he cared about Neia's first impressions of Nazarick so much, maybe he just wanted to make up for the incident with Shalltear? He was well past the point of needing to show that courtesy, Neia was his underling now, so he was certain she would obey him regardless. It would actually be much easier to do the complete opposite, and simply scare her into complete obedience. The methods he had employed against that woman from Eight Fingers came to mind, that strategy had proven remarkably effective after all…
Ainz let his vision wander back onto Neia, and their eyes met for a moment as he thought about it.
And then, for some inexplicable reason, a powerful wave of discomfort hit him, such that he almost visibly recoiled. His knee-jerk reaction was to quickly ax the idea and move on.
He moved to begin opening a Gate, but then he did a double-take.
'Wait, why…'
Ainz didn't have knee-jerk reactions like that, at least not over something like this. He has lost composure before, but that was when people gravely insulted him by lying about his friends or harming their children. This was different. It was completely illogical. Sure, maybe such actions weren't necessary at this time, but that just warranted a simple dismissal, not whatever that was.
His analytical mind began parsing his thoughts, 'Complete loyalty may prove necessary at some time in the future, she is working on a very important project after all, and if I wanted her complete loyalty it would be much easier to simply force it rather than spending all this time and effort…'
Even after this consideration, the feeling didn't leave. In fact, it only grew stronger. He sat there, befuddled over his own conflicting thoughts and feelings, his eyes staring right through the girl. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice when she began to nervously fidget.
After a lengthy silence, she spoke, "Lord Ainz…?"
This brought his mind back to the present, 'Whatever, I don't have time for this right now. In the end, I will simply do what I want. That is one benefit of being an infallible Supreme Being I suppose.' Ainz felt the strange feeling melt away.
He replied in a flat tone, "My apologies, Neia. I seem to be a little distracted today. Are you ready to leave?"
She seemed to relax a little again at that, and gave a simple nod in confirmation.
Without another word Ainz opened a Gate in the spot where he and Cixous embraced before, then stood up and motioned for her to enter. She stood up, and with a snap from Ainz her chair dissipated into nothingness once again. She looked back at the empty space for a moment before collecting herself and stepping through the portal without another moment of hesitation.
Ainz was alone again.
'What I want…'
He wondered how Demiurge would feel about that, would he be happy that his master's will was being fulfilled, or would he be disappointed by his utter disregard for efficiency and his seemingly arbitrary decision-making?
In the end he decided that it didn't matter, at least not anymore, and with a small sigh he stepped into the abyss.
Neia emerged from the portal and found herself inside the entrance hall of the palace at E-Rantel, the same place Cixous had led her and the rest of the her comrades when they went to meet the Sorcerer King for the first time. She looked around and saw that it was still just as it was when she first saw it, rather plain and unimpressive. This seemed doubly so after her short stay in Nazarick, it was truly a night and day difference.
'To think that I once thought this was the Sorcerer King's home. I guess that just goes to show how ignorant I was, how little we know…'
She felt a little odd seeing this place again, back then she thought she would never return after their business with the King was settled. Her mind wandered back to that day as she took in the familiar sight. It was strange, for a moment she almost felt as if things were back as they were, that these past days were all one crazy dream and that she would turn around and see the paladins looking around just as she was. Although it was only a few days ago, she felt a strange sort of nostalgia, and she subconsciously began caressing the pommel of her old sword.
Soon her reminiscing was interrupted by the Sorcerer King emerging through the portal behind her.
She turned to look at him, it was easy to see that he was as regal and majestic as always, it almost radiated off of him like an aura. He was wearing the same deep black robes he was wearing that day, they still looked just as impressive as they had when she first saw them.
In that moment she had an odd thought. She wondered if he ever changed clothes. It seemed weird at first, but he likely wore enchanted clothing which never dirtied, and he was still a skeleton at the end of the day, so she could easily see that being the case. Either way, he looked great.
"I see that Sebas has not arrived yet, he should be here very soon." Ainz walked forward and stood right next to Neia to wait.
Like clockwork, as soon as Ainz stopped next to her, a butler pushed open the huge doors in front of them and emerged into the hall. He was clearly an older gentleman, but he had aged gracefully, and actually looked rather handsome. His immaculate uniform, stern expression, and neat hair, and smooth movements gave him a very professional look. The man then knelt before Ainz.
His voice matched with his appearance perfectly, "Lord Ainz, it is a pleasure to see you. I apologize for my lateness." It was deep and smooth, it would sound almost brooding if his tone wasn't so formal.
"It is no trouble, Sebas. We just arrived moments ago. You may rise." Sebas did so and Ainz then gestured towards Neia, "This is Neia Baraja."
The butler then turned towards her and bowed, "Greetings, Miss Baraja. I am Sebas Tian, head butler of Nazarick. You may call me Sebas, if you wish." He then raised his head. His expression remained the same stern look he had before, but he had a certain air about him that made him seem trustworthy.
"It is nice to meet you, Sebas." Neia was really impressed by his demeanor, so much so that she felt a little self-conscious about her rather plain reply. She quickly added, "I hope that we can be friends, and that we can work together to serve Lord Ainz to the best of our ability."
Sebas' stern expression softened slightly and he gave her a nod before turning to Ainz once more, "If you would please follow me to the dining hall, Tuare should have some tea prepared shortly."
Ainz gave a hum of confirmation and began following Sebas through the doors, Neia fell in close behind him. First, they entered a larger hall, at the end of which was surely the throne room. Then they went through another doorway, which opened up into a long room with a large table stretching down its center. It was large enough to hold a small feast, but it was clear that it hadn't been used in that capacity for a long time as there were only a handful of chairs at the table itself, the rest were nowhere to be seen.
Sebas gave another bow, "I hope that this is satisfactory, our available furnishings are rather limited I am afraid."
Ainz shook his head, "No, this is alright with me, Neia?"
Neia looked up at the king expectantly, only to see that he was doing the same to her.
'Wait, is he asking for my input?'
Her eyes widened a little as she stuttered out a reply, "T-this is perfectly fine with me, thank you."
She wasn't expecting that, if he didn't mind it then why did her opinion matter?
'Is he just being considerate? I heard him ask for Sebas to "accommodate" me, but I assumed he was just asking him to excuse any mistakes I made…'
Neia looked towards Sebas, his expression was nearly unchanged, but her keen eyes detected the tiniest hint of surprise at the King's gesture. This quickly faded, and his flawless poker face returned once more. Meanwhile Ainz simply gave a nod, and pulled out a chair at the head of the table, moving to sit.
Sebas then spoke to Ainz once more, "You said you would like to see how the administration has been structured, I could give you a brief tour of the administrative center if you wish, it is located in the old assembly hall."
Ainz replied with a sure swiftness, "No, that will not be necessary. For now I wish to simply speak with you, you may both be seated."
Sebas gave a bow before pulling out a chair and sitting down with practiced elegance, his posture was flawless as he neatly folded his gloved hands in front of him.
Neia once again felt a little out of her depth as she gingerly pulled out a chair and sat down. She did so as she normally would, but in comparison to Sebas she felt like a clumsy child pretending to be a noble. Sebas didn't seem to mind it though, and neither did Ainz.
Just as they were both seated, a door towards the back of the room opened and a maid entered. She looked pretty, with flowing blonde hair and bright bluish-green eyes. Neia still thought that Cixous was a level above looks-wise, but she still looked pleasing to the eye. Neia thought she was definitely more attractive than than herself, but that was a common theme lately.
Neia was starting to notice a pattern, 'Just how many beautiful maids does the Sorcerer King have? Cixous mentioned that there were many more… ' At this point she wouldn't be surprised if he asked her to wear one of those uniforms too. 'Wait, is that why we are talking to the head butler?'
Neia thought about it but realized that probably wasn't the case given her other assignment, as for the others though… 'I guess when you are that powerful you can afford to be a little eccentric.'
Either way, she'd take a little eccentricity over Remedios' hands-on management style any day.
The maid had a silver tray in each hand, one of which held a full tea set while the other's contents were covered with a silver domed cloche. She held the trays steadily and approached the table with an even stride, she was nowhere near Sebas' level of practice in her movements but she was making an effort and it showed.
Soon she arrived at their end of the table and began laying the trays before them. First was the tea, and then the covered platter which was revealed to be a sizable collection of fresh pastries. The sweet smell wafted from the platter to Neia and she quickly realized how hungry she was. She hadn't had dinner the previous night and her opportunity to eat breakfast was gone thanks to her encounter with Shalltear…
Neia pulled her gaze from the pastries for a moment to see Sebas look up to the maid. Neia could almost immediately notice his face soften considerably as he spoke, "Very good, Tuare. Thank you."
The maid then gave a warm smile to Sebas before bowing to Ainz, "Lord Ainz, it is an honor to see you again." She then turned to Neia and gave another bow, "My name is Tuareninya, but you may call me Tuare. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
Neia could notice that the bow she gave to her was a little more stiff than the one she gave to Ainz, but wrote it off as them just being unfamiliar, "It is nice to meet you, Tuare. My name is Neia Baraja, and I am Lord Ainz's new subordinate. I hope we can be friends."
A look of surprise flashed across the maid's expression, and she just stared back at Neia, a puzzled look on her face. Neia was equally surprised at this, 'Was it something I said? Maybe I was a being a bit too forward with the friend bit…'
Ainz broke the awkward silence before it could fully form, "I am glad to see that your training has been successful, Tuare. You seem to be doing well."
Neia half expected her to melt at the praise much like Cixous had, but instead she just gave a simple thanks and a bow.
Sebas, however, seemed rather satisfied at Ainz's comment, "Yes, I am pleased to say that she has been performing well." Tuare had a far more powerful reaction to Sebas' praise, and a light blush crossed her cheeks.
Neia's keen eyes were starting to pick up signs, especially from Tuare, that got her thinking, 'Is there something going on between these two?'
Tuare then began pouring tea for Sebas and Neia. There was a third cup but she wasn't sure if it was for Tuare herself or for Ainz.
'Well, Lord Ainz probably isn't even capable of drinking it given that he has no… insides?' Putting it that way sounded rather weird, but she supposed that it couldn't be helped, it was true after all.
'Still, wouldn't it be poor etiquette for a servant to pour a drink for themselves and not for their master? And given how crazy everyone I've seen so far seems to be about him, I can easily imagine them pouring him a cup just for the gesture. But then again, didn't he say that he really didn't care for things like that?' It was all very confusing, and she found herself staring at the yet untouched cup as she took a small sip out of her own.
'At least the tea itself is good… very good actually.' It took a little more willpower than she cared to admit to not just start gulping it down, although the heat worked to keep her at bay.
Her previous question was answered when Tuare poured the tea into the final cup and, sure enough, placed it before Ainz. The King seemed to completely ignore the tea and he instead stared at the maid herself, "Yes, I can see Pestonya did an admirable job training her. Perhaps…" He then trailed off and looked to Neia for a moment before shaking his head, Neia could only guess at what he had been thinking.
After a moment he spoke again, his gaze now on Sebas, "I was hoping that perhaps you and Tuare could give Neia some advice." He then looked towards Tuare, "Her new situation is rather rare, but not completely unique of course."
This got Neia thinking, 'What does he mean by that? He's clearly alluding to Tuare… Is she just new like me, or is she human too? Perhaps it's something else entirely?' She gave the girl another more thorough look over, and Tuare seemed to notice this as she moved a little closer to Sebas. Neia didn't give that much thought though as she continued theorizing, 'She definitely seems human, maybe more so than Cixous, and she doesn't seem as experienced…'
Neia was brought back to reality when Sebas spoke again, "I believe that would be no problem at all, Tuare?"
Tuare gave a reluctant nod, but didn't say anything. Perhaps Sebas noticed her growing discomfort, as he gave her a small pat on the back and motioned for her to have a seat. This seemed to help, as she gave another small smile and seated herself next to him.
A silence then followed, Neia didn't really know what to say, maybe she should ask a question now? But what? She really wanted to ask about Ainz, the more she knew about him the better, but she didn't think asking about him while he was sitting right there was a good idea. So then what did she want advice about? They likely didn't know much about her specific assignment, and she didn't really know enough about Nazarick as a whole to even know where to start beyond gossiping about Shalltear…
Sebas thankfully saved her from any further embarrassment by speaking broadly to break the ice, "Yes, I can see why you might wish to seek some advice. I am sure that your new situation is quite unlike anything you have experienced before. As Lord Ainz has said, it is very rare position to be in, but not entirely unique." He then gestured to Tuare before continuing, "Tuare is another human who was been recruited into the service of Lord Ainz, and I have been closely involved in the process of helping her adapt. I am certain that we can help you in some way."
Neia was very quickly starting to understand the real reason behind why Ainz brought her to meet these two in particular, 'He really is thoughtful, isn't he?'
She was relieved to hear that there was another human under Ainz, she remembered Cixous saying that that was the case, but seeing the girl sitting right in front of her was an entirely different thing. Neia gave a genuine smile towards Tuare, "I'm really happy to meet you both then, especially you Tuare."
She was expecting the girl to lighten up a little at that, but instead she once again gave her that confused, almost frightened expression from before. Neia was shocked at this, and a feeling of awkwardness rushed back through her.
'I know I'm new to this but what the hell? Is there some sort of gravely important piece of etiquette I'm neglecting, or some cultural custom? Surely Lord Ainz or Sebas would have corrected me by now, right?'
Neither Tuare nor Sebas said anything, and soon this awkward feeling spread into the rest of the room.
What happened next came as a bit of a shock.
"Ah-hem." Ainz made a sound as if he was clearing his throat, which was odd considering he didn't have one, before rising from his seat and speaking. "Now that you are all acquainted I believe you can manage without my presence, I am going to go survey the administrative center." Sebas was going to begin rising from his seat but Ainz caught him almost instantly, "Stay here, Sebas. You can't speak with Neia if you are leading me around, no? I do not require an escort."
Sebas gave a reluctant nod, "Very well, Lord Ainz. We will be here if you should require anything."
"Of course, I will return in short order. Until then I ask that you assist Neia in any way you can, within reason of course." Ainz then turned and walked out of the room.
Neia just stared at the door through which he left for a moment, 'That… was odd.' She didn't expect him to just stand up and leave like that, at least not this early, but she quickly realized how fortuitous this was. Now she could ask the questions she didn't want to ask in his presence.
Because of this she all but forgot about the awkward atmosphere from before and spoke plainly, maybe a little too plainly, "I'd like to know more about Lord Ainz, anything you can tell me is greatly appreciated."
There was silence, Sebas stared at her, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Even Tuare seemed to become a little suspicious at that, a questioning gaze once again being solidly affixed to Neia, and this time with no hint of unease behind it.
Neia quickly realized her mistake, 'Ok. Not good. I definitely could have worded that better.'
"You see, I-I have been assigned to personally assist Lord Ainz with a project, so I will be spending a lot of time with him. The thing I worry about the most is displeasing him in some way, so I was hoping you could help me avoid that…"
Sebas' eyes continued scanning her for a moment, before his expression softened a little. Tuare didn't seem to buy it though, as her expression remained unchanged. Regardless, Sebas spoke, "I see. I can understand that. You must know by now that Lord Ainz is nothing like your average undead, he is a very intelligent and nuanced man. I can't imagine you would pledge your loyalty to him if you thought otherwise…" Neia quickly nodded her head, and Sebas continued, "Good, knowing that is the first step to understanding the Supreme Being. That fact is understandably difficult for many humans to accept, I am certain you are aware how the undead are viewed by humanity."
Neia once again nodded, "Yes, I admit that at first I had foolishly believed that he was simply a particularly intelligent undead, but I definitely know better now. He is far more complicated than that, and that is in part why I was hoping you could lend some insight to me, I have had a very hard time really nailing down who he is…"
Sebas took a sip of his tea before speaking, "Before we continue with this line of questioning, might I inquire as to what you already know about Lord Ainz? It would be most convenient if you simply tell me everything now so that I don't waste any time."
That was a respectable proposition, and Neia began wracking her brain, trying to fit everything she knew about the King in one neat pile.
It took her a while, she had seen and heard a lot over the last few days, and to lay it all out was surprisingly difficult, but soon enough she was able to respond, "I do not think I know very much for certain, but through my short time with him and through speaking with others I have come to some conclusions…"
Sebas eyed her curiously and she continued, "I suppose I should start with the obvious, the things I knew before I met him. He is unfathomably powerful and a towering intellect. His actions at the Katze Plains and the rapid ascension of his kingdom are proof enough of that to me."
Sebas just gave a nod at that.
"But of course that isn't news to anyone, what I have found far more interesting is his history, in particular his relationship with a long lost group of friends who he seems to have valued very deeply. I learned about this through simply speaking with him, and while I don't wish to assume too much, I have gathered a little more information on how Nazarick works from another denizen and I think that these old friends of his may be the other Supreme Beings."
At this, Sebas raised an eyebrow, the most expressive thing he had yet done, and this made Neia want to backpedal a little, "T-that's just a hunch though, I am likely wrong!" Neia was surprised when Sebas's eyebrow lowered again and his interest appeared to double, his gaze intensifying.
He gestured for her to continue, and so she did, albeit with some new reluctance, "Well, then there is his personality, and this is easily the most puzzling part about him, sometimes he is the unknowable and untouchable monarch his reputation tells of, and other times he is strangely personable and even humble. I just can't make any sense of it…"
Sebas didn't give any reaction to this, so Neia decided to elaborate a little, "For example, he is almost always behaving like the perfect monarch, very august and kingly. However, just today he told me that he didn't care for titles and that he especially didn't care for how his subordinates knelt in his presence, saying that he found it 'shallow'." Neia could see Sebas visibly tense up, but she felt no aggression from him, and so continued, "I never could have imagined in my life a king saying something like that, especially the Sorcerer King."
Sebas' expression was unreadable, even more so than usual, and he sipped his tea before speaking, "That is very interesting, Miss Baraja. Is that all?" Tuare started losing the edge in her gaze as she became more and more interested in her findings.
Neia was starting to feel like this might have been a bad idea, but at least they both seemed to be more interested than suspicious now, so that was something.
She decided to just finish, there was no use holding back now, "Not quite. The most important thing I have seen, especially with my particular position, is his oddly intimate relationship with his subordinates. I haven't been able to grasp the true nature of that, although I have seen first hand that he cares for his underlings deeply I still don't understand the intricacies of it at all. He told me that he doesn't view them, and I assume that this included you, as his subjects and himself as their king. I have seen things that support his claim, but that leaves the question of how exactly he does view you. And I still don't know where I fit into all of this either…"
Sebas' gaze was still locked onto her, his eyes betraying an enraptured interest.
But then Neia sighed, "I think that is all."
Sebas stroked his beard. It took him a short while to reply, but his voice still carried a hint of surprise when he spoke, "I must admit that I am rather impressed, Miss Baraja."
That wasn't what Neia was expecting.
Sebas continued, "You know far more than I would have thought possible for someone who has been serving Lord Ainz for such a short time. Lord Ainz has clearly granted you a certain level of trust, if nothing else."
That really wasn't what Neia was expecting.
'Lord Ainz trusts me? Why? He did tell me about that ring, and I didn't betray that trust even when Remedios was going to kill me for it, but was that really enough? There must be something he is missing here…'
Neia thought about it for a good while, but all she felt was doubt, "With all due respect, Sebas, I highly doubt that is case. I do not think Lord Ainz trusts me on a level any deeper than a particularly dedicated newcomer. I just worked really hard to learn as much as I could."
Sebas shook his head, "I disagree, and you would be wise to listen to me. Lord Ainz would not allow someone he thought unworthy of his trust to know what you know. I do not understand why he has placed this trust in you, but there are many things that I do not comprehend about Lord Ainz's brilliant mind. Just know that he does not make mistakes, you are simply another part of his grand design, and that design has allowed him to trust you with certain knowledge."
Neia was beginning to feel that she was once again way over her head, but the more she thought about it the harder a time she had disbelieving him. At about least the trust part, she still wasn't sure about the whole 'he does not make mistakes' idea.
'Come to think of it, most of what I know was shown directly by the King himself, and what little I had gotten under his nose from Cixous was readily given. I can't imagine Cixous would tell me anything the King wouldn't, and that means…'
Neia looked down at her hands, "I do not understand why this would be the case, but I feel that you may be right. He would not allow this by accident, and while I can't understand his motives I am glad that he has allowed me this trust."
Sebas gave a nod of approval, "Very good, that is the correct response. Let this be the first lesson you learn here, Lord Ainz's intellect operates on a level we cannot hope to understand. Many minds greater than ours have tried to comprehend the true scope of his intellect, and all have failed. My advice to you is to simply accept this fact, and engage with him with that in mind."
She decided to entertain the idea for a moment, and play along with a question, "How does one do that? If you have a being so incomprehensibly intelligent that you cannot hope to understand them, how do you speak to them? How do you serve them? Aren't we useless to a being like that?"
Sebas' expression softened again, "You are asking all the correct questions, Miss Baraja. What you are really asking is how to serve a Supreme Being, and I am sure that is the exact question Lord Ainz brought you here to have answered."
Now Neia really wasn't buying this, 'There is no way he planned for this conversation to go exactly this way, right? This only happened because I got a little too enthusiastic with my first question… wait, is that why he left when he did? Or did he know it would have came up regardless? How would you even…'
Neia was beginning to feel a little dizzy.
Sebas flashed a smile for the first time today, but it quickly faded away, "Now I think you are beginning to understand. Serving a Supreme Being is more simple than you may think, it is just a matter of complete and utter obedience. He knows exactly what he wants, it is merely your duty to do what he asks of you. And that is the only issue, you must be as strong as possible so that he may make the greatest use of you."
She took a moment to process that. She supposed it made sense, if there was a supremely intelligent being in direct command of you then there was little reason to think for yourself. Lord Ainz will tell her what he desires already knowing what will happen when she follows his orders, it wasn't even a matter of success or failure, it was just a matter of doing. He would know if you will succeed or fail before even asking. To a being like that, strength didn't influence success, it was simply a matter of potential.
But when she thought about this further she once again began having second thoughts, was he really that intelligent? When she spoke to him he was eloquent and collected, but he still felt like a person. Maybe that was the point? But then he made mistakes as well, mistakes that he openly admitted to, like when he bowed to Cixous and herself in his office just earlier that day. Perhaps that wasn't a mistake at all? Was that entire encounter with Shalltear planned from the very beginning? Did he place her in Cixous' care the night before knowing that it would develop in that way? She thought about that, if what Sebas was saying was true then the answer was a resounding yes. But she didn't believe it, there was no way, right?
Neia took a step back and realized that she was starting to sound remarkably similar to Remedios of all people. Either the Sorcerer King is a being with a godly intellect, nothing more nothing less, and the whole world was already marching to his tune, or there was a mistake in Sebas' thinking. Either there were no accidents, the King was infallible, and he had lied to her from the very beginning, or Sebas was simply wrong.
When you took Occam's Razor to it, the problem was really rather simple.
'This gentleman, as distinguished as he may be, has completely lost it. Either that or he is just fanatically loyal, but that is an insanity of it's own. Either way, he is wrong. I am sure of it.'
But he didn't have to know she thought that, of course.
Neia looked back up to Sebas, who had been patiently watching her become lost in her own thoughts, she then put on the most genuine voice she could muster and lied through her teeth, "Sebas, you have truly opened my eyes. I was more of a fool than I could have ever known. I don't know the full implications of this yet, but I know that I have made the only correct choice, to serve Lord Ainz. Anything else is pure folly. You have my eternal gratitude for educating me, I was more wrong then I could have ever known."
Neia felt a wave of relief when Sebas seemed to buy it hook line and sinker, "You are a fast learner, I feel-"
But then Tuare, who had remained silent for so long, stood up from her chair. "I am sorry, but I just can't let this go on, what is your problem?"
Neia looked to her, her eyes wide, and saw that the girl looked upset, very upset.
'Did she seriously see through that? I'm screwed aren't I?'
Just as Neia was going to begin panicking, Tuare spoke again, "How can you say such things so easily, all while glaring at him like that? This whole time you've had that murderous look and you just act like nothing is wrong! Why?"
Neia was speechless, but thankfully Sebas was not, "Tuare, that is not appropriate. Please control yourself."
Tuare seemed to realize her mistake, and her face blanched before she gingerly sat back down.
There was a moment of silence as Neia just stared at her in shock, before a realization hit.
'Of course, my eyes! How did I forget about that again? I guess it wasn't a problem for Cixous or Pandora's Actor…'
Neia then pointed to her eye with her left hand and spoke with a tired voice, "Are you talking about my eyes?"
Tuare looked at her in surprise, clearly she wasn't expecting Neia to actually acknowledge it, but she nodded nonetheless.
Neia gave herself a mental slap for letting this happen again, and then took a bow, "I am sorry, I should have acknowledged this as soon as we met, but my eyes naturally look like that. I don't hold any ill-will towards you or Sebas, I'd even be willing to close my eyes in your presence if you find them unnerving."
Tuare's surprise turned to shock, and she looked to Sebas, who then spoke, "I was wondering about that. There is no need to do something as drastic as rendering yourself blind, I am sure. I admit that at first your appearance made me a little suspicious, but I saw how Lord Ainz chose not make any comment on it and I felt no malice or aggression from you so I decided not to make a fuss over it. I see I was right to refrain from doing so." He said that last sentence with a certain edge that was definitely directed towards Tuare.
The maid seemed to get the message as she bowed her head, "I am sorry, Miss Baraja, it appears I have made a terrible mistake, there is no need to apologize to me, and there is certainly no need to close your eyes. I am the one at fault, please forgive me."
'Damnit, this is the Sorcerer King all over again.'
Neia quickly shook her head, "No, this is my problem, and I failed to properly inform you about it. I understand how it looks to people who don't know, so I don't blame you for acting that way. I must have seemed, at the very least, incredibly rude this whole time…"
'That explains her strange behavior earlier, she must have thought I was being sarcastic when I was offering to be her friend and when I smiled at her. I really can't blame her, I'd think that too. But this reaction was still a little overboard, right?'
Tuare began to look genuinely remorseful, "Please don't worry Miss Baraja, I see that that isn't the case now. Maybe we should start over."
'Well, she seems to be fine now…'
Neia readily agreed with a nod, trying to avoid any further awkwardness, "I'd like that. I've really only spoken to Sebas so far, so why don't you tell me a little about your experience with joining Lord Ainz?"
Tuare looked down, deep in thought, then looked to Sebas, before returning her gaze to Neia, "I didn't join Lord Ainz in the same way you did, at least I don't think I did. I wouldn't say I joined so much as I was rescued. I have Sebas to thank for that, and Lord Ainz to thank for allowing me to repay his kindness."
She looked up at Sebas with a warm smile, and Neia was shocked to see him smile back, but the moment quickly passed and her expression dropped as she looked back to Neia and continued, "I would rather not go into specifics of my previous circumstances, but I can assure you that joining Lord Ainz's ranks was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sebas saved my life, and Lord Ainz allowed me to live a good life, it is more than I could ever ask for. I don't know what your reasons are for joining him, but whatever they may be, you have made a very wise choice. I am sure of it."
Neia thought on that for a moment, did she really join him willingly? He didn't force anything on her of course, she made the choice for herself, but that was really the only option she had left. If she believed Sebas' convictions about the King she would have to assume that Ainz purposefully engineered her removal from the Order and then swooped her up, passing himself off as her savior with her being none the wiser.
She didn't want to believe that, and she really couldn't, Remedios was well on her way to madness before the idea of meeting the Sorcerer King even entered her head. There was no way he could have influenced things like that, right?
She settled it then and there, 'No, he didn't. Why would he make such an elaborate plot just to recruit a single squire? Even if he had some overarching reason, it would still be impossible to pull off with the time he had.' Neia thought back to her little skirmish with Remedios, or more accurately Gustavo's skirmish, and the sudden appearance of the King in their hour of need.
'I just got lucky, very very lucky. He saved my life.'
Neia sighed, "Tuare, I think that may be another thing we have in common. I am sure I would be dead had it not been for the intervention of Lord Ainz, and I owe him a great debt for that. I don't know what you have been through, but your words are very reassuring. Thank you for that."
Tuare then flashed her a smile, "I have been able to put my past behind me thanks to Lord Ainz. He has given me a new life, one that I cherish deeply, and I hope he can do the same for you. Until then, all I can say is that you should do your best to repay his kindness."
Neia gave a nod, "Of course, and speaking of repaying his kindness…" She then looked back to Sebas, "You mentioned that the best thing we can do to serve a Supreme Being is to obey and to be strong enough to be useful. The first part is simple enough, but I am not very strong at all, how can I reach my maximum potential? Just through training and experience? At the end of the day I am still only human. Will I ever be strong enough to be truly useful?"
Sebas nodded, "This is an issue for all who are weak, and I am sorry to say that it is not a simple problem to solve. I have met another human who asked me this question, his situation was actually quite similar to yours upon further examination. I am afraid I will have to tell you the same thing I told him, you have very little potential. You will always be weak, at least comparatively to Lord Ainz's other subordinates. It is simply the way of things, we are born with certain limits."
Neia wasn't happy to hear that, but she knew that it was probably true. No human could ever match the likes of Shalltear, not in their wildest dreams. So what hope was there for her?
But then Sebas continued, "Do not fret over this, Miss Baraja. Lord Ainz obviously knows this, and he has chosen to allow you to serve him regardless. All you must do is reach your potential, as low as that ceiling may be, and I can help you with that."
This interested her, "I am open to any wisdom you may offer, Sebas."
'I really hope he doesn't tell me to simply trust in Lord Ainz, I wouldn't be surprised.'
Sebas nodded, "A willingness to learn is the first step to wisdom. I have taught this lesson before, to that other human I mentioned earlier. Know that there is more to potential than simply improving your body with training and your mind with experience. There is also a strength of spirit, which is often forgotten. Only with a strong body, mind, and spirit, can you reach your full potential."
Neia really wasn't expecting that, he was staring to sound like a particularly zealous instructor within the Order, but she knew that that wasn't what he meant, "Could you elaborate on what you mean by a strength of spirit?"
"Yes, it is a somewhat difficult thing to describe, and a very difficult thing to truly understand. A strong spirit is what separates a good soldier from a hero, it is to dedicate oneself to something or someone and to fight for that rather than yourself. A persons true strength is revealed only when one is fighting for something beyond themselves." Sebas then began stroking his beard, "If I am correct, you were once a member of the Holy Kingdom's famed Paladin Order. They swear oaths to their Queen, whom to many of them serves as their anchor in battle. Many members of the Slane Theocracy have a strong devotion to their gods and fight in their name with a fanatical zeal. Many others simply fight for their family, comrades, or a loved one, even something as simple as an idea or an ideal. My creator, for example, fought for justice above all else and he was one of the strongest warriors to ever exist. A champion among champions. But it doesn't matter what it is you follow, a strong spirit comes not from the subject of the devotion, but the devotion itself."
Neia was starting to understand, but something didn't add up, "I see, but everyone fights for a reason, right? Even conscripts often believe they are fighting for the greater good of the country, but do they have strong spirits?"
"No, they often do not. It is not simply a matter of justifying your actions or admiring an ideal. You must dedicate yourself to it, it must drive you to go beyond your limits, and above all else you must place it above yourself. Only then can it lift you to new heights. A formation of conscripts breaks because they value themselves over all else, or at least above the reason for which they are fighting. Compare this to an animal cornered with its young, it will fight with all of its strength and without hesitation until the bitter end, it is far stronger than if it were merely fighting for food, fighting for itself." Sebas stopped stroking his beard now, and instead looked Neia in the eyes. Neia stared back, a nervous feeling began to rise as silence filled the room.
Thankfully he eventually spoke again, now with a far more serious tone, "There is a demonstration to this lesson, but it is dangerous, and I can sense that you are not ready. If you wish for my advice, then I will tell you to find something to follow or protect. You may think that there is no such thing in your life, but only the truly forlorn have nothing, and you are still alive aren't you?"
There was a pause before Sebas finished his lesson with a simple statement, "What we call a reason to live is often an excellent reason to die, and finding a reason to die will strengthen you like nothing else. Think on that."
Silence once more descended upon the room.
'That was… profound.'
Neia was shocked by the sincerity and thoughtfulness behind the advice. Sebas clearly took this seriously, very seriously, and Neia was speechless for a while as she let herself fully absorb what the butler had said.
Eventually she spoke, "I will think on that, Sebas. Thank you."
Another silence took hold over the room, and Sebas reached for the platter of pastries which had so far been left untouched. He took a bite and broke the silence with a hum of approval, turning to Tuare, "Your cooking is as good as ever, Tuare. Magnificent work."
The girl's face went from neutral, to surprise, and then ended on a beaming smile in a mere moments, a deep blush covering her face, "T-thank you, Sebas. I'm really glad…"
This did a wonderful job clearing the air after the previous rather heavy conversation, and Neia couldn't help but smile, 'That is just adorable.'
Sebas then looked to Neia, "Feel free to try some, Miss Baraja. They are delicious."
Neia quickly remembered just how hungry she was, and didn't hesitate to grab one for herself. It was a round, fluffy, jam-filled, pastry the likes of which she had never seen before.
With a quick thanks, she took a large bite, the sweet flavor exploding into her mouth.
It was heavenly. In this moment of bliss her mind went back to Sebas' advice, and she began mulling it over.
'Something to follow, something to protect, something I feel strongly for…' Her mind drew a blank, her family was dead, her old comrades never cared much for her, her countrymen hadn't been kind to her ever since she was a child thanks to her eyes, why did she even join the Order, why did she fight? It wasn't for the people who had shunned her, it wasn't for the camaraderie, it wasn't for justice, it certainly wasn't for the approval of her parents…
She cared for her country and she didn't resent her countrymen, despite all the pain they put her through, but she didn't join the Order for them.
'No, that was for myself. I joined because I admired my mom, and I wanted to be a paladin like her, not for her. Not for her or for anyone else… but now that I'm not in the order, what am I fighting for?'
Herself, now for the sake of her survival. Right?
She couldn't think of anything worth dying for right now, and it made her feel terrible. Surely there was something left, right? Was she really just hanging on to see another day? Was there nothing else?
Then, Sebas spoke up, "Miss Baraja, I feel I should instruct you to not worry about your spiritual strength too much, such things always come naturally, you cannot force it. There is plenty of time to find what you are looking for. So long as you keep an eye open, and search your feelings, something will come. All in due time."
The butler seemed to know exactly what to say, as Neia felt her worries fade.
She smiled up at him, "Thank you, Sebas. You've been a great help."
"It is my pleasure, Miss Baraja."
Neia finished her pastry, took a sip of her tea, and leaned back in her chair.
'All in due time huh?'
She let out a relaxed sigh, "I'll be sure to keep my eyes open, Sebas."
AN: Hope you all enjoyed this, it was the longest and most difficult chapter so far, but I am really happy with it. I was stoked to see the resoundingly positive response in regard to the slower pace, and this chapter works with that feedback in mind. This is a character story first and foremost, but there is definitely plot here, all in due time.
As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Reading your reviews always brightens my day, and my DMs are open too, so don't be shy. Until next time, ciao!