Chapter 27
It had been exactly one week since Alice had gone to the family and suggested that they take control of the situation with the Volturi, rather than waiting to react. The Denali coven approved to this unique approach as well, agreeing that it would give some sort of edge against the Volturi and any type of advantage in this situation was agreed to be beyond critical. Carlisle reached out to the Volturi and extended an invitation for them to meet the newest addition to their coven, an act that perplexed Aro beyond words but had accepted as his curiosity apparently was too strong to ignore. Aro, along with the rest of the Volturi were expected to arrive within the next couple of days.
Given the situation, Alice and Bella did indeed send out the postponed wedding notices to all the guests, using an excuse of a family emergency as the reason. Bella wasn't exactly thrilled about it and neither was Alice, but they both seemingly agreed that it was the best thing to do. If nothing else, this had allowed the family nothing but time to practice fighting and strategizing a plan. Bella, with the assistance of Kate had developed her mental shield to the point where she could shield those within her close vicinity, a radius of about five feet in every direction. Despite her efforts though, she had not been able to recreate the physical shield that had appeared on its own accord when Emmett had moved to attack Alice.
Bella held true to the belief that the shield was only produced due to a momentary slip of control coupled with the fierce desire to protect her mate, regardless of the consequences and knew she could not let herself get into that place again, knowing that while in that state she had almost killed Emmett and there was no telling who else she would have turned on if Alice had not been able to get through to her. She had also not shifted since her altercation with Jake for the same exact reason. The whole ordeal had left her very weary of that side of her as it made her feel like an honest monster. Her control in that state, or lack thereof, could potentially put her family at risk if she were to phase and loose her hold on herself.
Due to this reasoning, she had pushed the desire to phase away and had been successful but was finding that it was becoming increasingly more challenging to do. She almost constantly now had felt the low throbbing throughout her body as her entire being ached to phase. Every instinct in her told her she needed to submit to it. She knew she likely needed training and needed to let her inner wolf out to play but couldn't bring herself to risk it.
Bella felt her eyes flutter open and found herself back into the familiar dreamscape of her subconscious, frowning in thought. She moved forward and sat down on her customary fallen log, watching as Aurelius and Taha shimmered into view.
"Oh, fuck me. What now?" Bella sighed in annoyance, causing Aurelius to let out a loud laugh.
"Such language, Isabella!" Aurelius chuckled with amusement reflecting off his crimson orbs.
"I'm just under a lot of pressure these days. I've just about reached my capacity to deal with anything at this point, so you'll have to excuse me." Bella retorted with a snap, her jaw clenched in frustration.
"We're only here because you're trying to push your shifter side out, which is creating a concern with the prophecy." Taha noted, motioning to Bella's eyes. The customary jade outline around her pupil was almost faded and had been replaced by an onyx ring, which greatly contrasted against the gold.
"The last time I shifted, I lost myself completely and became the monster that everyone feared that I would become. That part of me is hard to control. When I am in it, my emotional control becomes nonexistent, and therefore I become uncontrolled. Initially I hurt Alice with my first phase, almost killed Jake and almost turned on the family, and I would bet my life on the fact that it influenced me during my fight with Emmett when he almost fell at my hands. By giving into that side of me, I become nothing more than a liability, too unpredictable to be useful in battle and I refuse to risk it." Bella argued back as she crossed her arms defensively.
"Did you know that Edward fought himself night and day, refusing to accept what he was?" Aurelius asked with a raised eyebrow.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Bella asked with a sigh as thoughts of the note moved back to the front of her mind.
She had so many questions. How and when did he leave that note? Did he see a vision of this occurring that Alice had never shared, if so, why did Alice not tell her of this information? Nothing about the note, it's placement or its origin was making a lick of sense and no matter how much Bella was trying to fight the curiosity, she was slowly but surely loosing the battle.
"Everything, Isabella." Taha said simply, causing Bella's thoughts to be broken, " You need to accept both sides of who you are. It's only then that your emotions will stabilize. Until you do that, you'll continue to be like him, trapped in an emotional battle, hurting yourself and those around you, especially during crucial moments."
"I am nothing like Edward. Don't you dare to compare us." Bella argued back with a shake of her head.
"Oh, you think I am wrong? I assure you, he is simply who you would be without support and without growth. He embodies all the negatives of this life, while you represent the positive, or should be. We shall see when you wake up and phase." Taha responded.
"What? No. I am not going to phase. I don't have to prove anything to you." Bella argued back with a slight snarl.
" You are correct. You don't need to prove anything to me but you need to prove this to yourself and I'll see to that." Taha replied briskly.
"What?" Bella began but suddenly awoke, sitting straight up, her chest pounding and her body aching almost unbearably, aching as if she had been run over by a truck. She gasped as a follow up wave of pain came flooding throughout her being. She attempted to get out of bed but her legs gave out the moment her feet made contact with the floor. She fell forward, knocking everything off of her bedside table in the process as she fell to the ground.
"Son of a goddamned bitch!" Bella growled out as she felt her muscles spasming, painfully contracting as she felt a strong tingle run up and down her spine.
She felt her family presence stir beneath her and knew they would be up in a matter of seconds.
' Submit!' Bella heard Taha say in her mind.
She forced her shaking and trembling body up and staggered out onto the patio, leaning against the wooden railing, her fingers gripping tightly as she tried to steady herself.
"Bella!" Alice yelled as she flung the door open, followed by the entire family, her ocher eyes wide in fright at the sight before her.
"Alice, please. Don't… Don't come any closer. For your safety, you need to stay back" Bella forced out through trembling lips. She tried to explain further but was stopped as she felt the shift beginning. Without giving a second more of thought, she launched herself over the patio and fell towards the forestry ground. She knew that the phase would likely be violent and didn't want any of the family hurt in the process, thinking back to what she had done to Alice during her first phase.
As her body made contact with the ground, she lost all ability to control herself and the phase occurred on its own accord.
Bella now in her wolf form stood from the ground, shaking, the sensory overload being almost worse than when she had first woken from her transformation. Her tail involuntarily went between her legs and a loud whimper escaped her throat as she shook her head.
' Run. It will help' Bella heard in her mind.
She looked up at her family, standing in complete shock and locked eyes with Alice for just a moment before turning her head away and took one tentative step forward, then another, until she felt herself sprinting. Her golden orbs still taking in her surroundings as if she was a vampire but with the movements of a shifter.
She felt her ears move forward from against her head and a wolfy grin broke out across her face. She yipped as the feeling of pure freedom flowed throughout her as if she were a human and on her bike again. Her paws splashed through a shallow and slow-moving creek and she watched as the droplets fell back in slow motion. She found herself laying on her back and rolled around in the dirt and vegetation before standing up and shaking out her fur.
'So cliché, I might as well be an overgrown lap dog at this point' Bella thought with a huff as she sat down on her haunches and closed her eyes.
' Feeling better, Isabella?' Taha asked throughout her mind.
' Yes, though I could have gone without that forced phase. That in itself wasn't exactly what I would call pleasant.' Bella thought back with a roll of her eyes.
' I apologize for that unpleasant business but it was the only way to get through your innate stubbornness'
' Can you explain why it even matters? You claim I need to experience this form to prove something to myself but I don't understand what you're getting at.'
' For the prophecy to come to light, you have to in tune with both side of you. Pushing your shifter side away because you do not want to feel connected to Jacob makes you unbalanced and then makes it more challenging for you to control your emotions'
' It's not just about not wanting to feel connected to Jake. I am doing what I think is best to protect the family, regardless of what the means for me. And can you also explain what's up with this mental link thing we have going on?'
' Do not fret. I will not always be here like Sam is with the shifters. However, if you ever need to speak with me, simply shift and I will be able to connect with you.'
' Is this to help me prepare for the Volturi?'
' Precisely. You will find having guidance will be helpful with your training. You have come a long way with your defensive skillset, truly. You should be proud of yourself. However, now it is the time to work on your offensive. As you have surely noticed, offensive comes easier in this state so you will likely find that you will not have to practice as much as was needed for your defensive abilities. This is also true as your offensive training only needs to be developed for you and you alone, you do not need to learn to expand its ability onto others. I know you have been struggling with understanding and fulfilling your place within fate's design but you are holding yourself back and preventing yourself from truly growing.'
'You don't understand. I meant what I said earlier. Everything I do is with my family's and especially my imprint's best interest at heart. I will not do anything that will put them in danger.'
'Isabella, we have already discussed this. Edward is a weak vampire because he tries to hide that part of him. He resented this life, so he did all he could to push it aside, which in turn caused him to react poorly during emotionally charged times. You're no different in this aspect. Being too afraid to make a decision is almost as bad as making the wrong one. I can sense your potential. It's almost overwhelming. You just need to have faith in yourself and trust.'
Bella stood up and stretched out her sore muscles that were no longer accustomed to being in this state and nodded in understanding.
'I suggest that you continue with your run. Allow your mind to wander. Let yourself become connected to nature, to your adopted bloodline. Running always seemed to help in the past as a human, I assume that this should not be any different. Give yourself a chance to see that not every time you are in this state that you will need to fight'
Bella blinked as Taha faded with a gust of warm wind.
With that, she felt the almost unbearable desire and ache return to her body and throughout her muscles. She closed her eyes and pushed her vampire senses away to take in the taste of the air, the forest and everything around her fully as a shifter. Her body seemed to act on its own accord as her head moved back and the beautiful haunting melody of her howl escaped her lips and echoed throughout the forest.
She heard Alice's voice calling out to her though she could not figure out if Alice was calling out to her verbally or through some sort of new mental connection that had been established during the mate marking process but found she could not sit still and continued to run. Her legs broke out into a dead sprint, her paws pounding heavily on the soft and damp forest ground.
Alice suddenly appeared next to Bella almost as if she had been summoned, and held a concerned gaze on her but ran gracefully in silence next to her. Bella's now jade orbs took in her surroundings before noting that another wolf appeared out of her peripheral. She skidded to an abrupt halt and let out a deep warning growl as she moved in front of Alice, her eyes taking in the long coated russet, ebony and gray wolf with caution.
"Bella, love. What is it? There doesn't appear to be anyone here but us." Alice asked tentatively as her sharp eyes shot around trying to locate the source of her mate's visible discomfort.
" No one else can see or hear me. Remember, we're only connected through your subconscious. You only can see me now as you are more in sync with your shifter blood. Tell me, how do you feel now?"
" Much more at ease. I didn't realize just how much that run was needed" Bella responded back as she visibly relaxed.
" Love, are you communicating to one of them right now?" Alice asked and Bella nodded her head once as Alice patiently waited for Bella's interaction to end, squatting down and slightly rocking on her heels as she clasped her hands together anxiously, intently watching Bella.
" I don't have much time left. The Volturi will be here soon' Bella thought and Taha nodded his head.
"There is no reason to fret. The downfall was foretold hundreds upon hundreds of years ago. No one can rewrite the stars." Taha responded back.
"Yeah, but no one can see how it'll end. Not even Alice. I don't know if anyone will fall in battle and that's what bothers me the most. No one should have to die for me'
" Isabella, no one is dying for you. Everyone plays a specific role in the design of fate. Some people may simply reach the end of their story. Death is inevitable. Remember, you aren't alone. You have your family and the power of all of your ancestors to help guide you. Don't think. Just feel." Taha advised just before fading into the air.
Bella blinked a couple of times before turning her gaze to Alice, who met her gaze and tentatively handed over a change of clothes that Bella took into her mouth and dropped, phasing back and putting on the clothes in front of Alice without a second thought.
" Why did you phase? Jasper felt your pain and we got up to our room as quickly as possible but appears as if we were too late to do much to help" Alice asked as she shifted uncomfortably between her feet.
" Taha reached out to the me through the mental link, chiding me for not phasing enough and trying to push that part of me aside. He forced the phase. It wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. As it was going to be forced, I assumed it would be a tad…violent in nature and I didn't want to accidently hurt anyone, especially you in the process" Bella explained as Alice saw the jade colored ring back in full color in her mate's eyes.
"Thank you for explaining everything to me. I was so beyond worried. Seeing you in that state on the patio was almost too much for me to bear." Alice paused as she pushed a stray strand of hair out of Bella's face and behind her ear, " Why have you been pushing that part of you away though? I thought you were okay with it. I didn't realize you were struggling." Alice sighed as she took Bella into her arms and ran a comforting hand through her hair.
"That state of being scared me. I was ready to kill Jake that day. It was far worse than when I fought Emmett. I was ready to attack all of you when you interfered, so blind and lost I didn't even realize who you were. I know it would be beneficial for me to attempt to use it in the fight but I just haven't been willing to take that risk, even if it would give us all an edge. I'm worried about the outcome to be honest" Bella sighed as she relaxed under her imprint's touch.
"Worrying simply means that you will have to suffer twice," Alice laughed softly as she attempted to reduce the tension in the air.
"That may be so." Bella laughed as she pulled back to look into Alice's eyes, " Have you seen any changes with the outcome? Any information at all?"
Alice tilted her head and her eyes became glossy and unfocused as she focused on the family. After a few moments of silence, longer than usual, Alice blinked and her eyebrows furrowed in thought and concern.
"What, what is it?" Bella asked immediately, recognizing her expression.
"I don't know, Bella. I can't see any of them right now at all. My visions are filled with nothing but holes and dark patches which likely means…." Alice growled out as her eyes shot back to the direction of the house.
"Shifters" Bella growled out on her own as well. The shifters still had not been allowed on their land, which meant they were in violation and close to the family. Too close.
Alice nodded her head after a few moments, her eyes growing dark. Bella and Alice shared a nod of understanding before taking back to the house in silence, ready to take on the shifters, no matter which one or ones it was.