TW: Grief (poor Mel * heart *)

The next morning was a flurry of activity that masked the discomfort in the house. Mel, in particular, was a shaky mess, and Hermione had heard her crying in the bathroom twice before they managed to leave for the Express.

On the train, the mood was subdued. Many of the students had been in Diagon Alley the day before. Grabbing last minute supplies, or enjoying a last day out with their parents. Those that hadn't been had seen the Prophet just this morning, or had seen the looks on their parents' faces that said there'd been an attack, or had heard from their friends once they boarded. There was very little laughter. And a lot of fear.

James and Lily immediately got into their robes and proudly pinned their Head Boy and Head Girl pins on before sweeping away to meet with the Prefects.

Hermione glanced around their car. "So, here we go, I guess," she said, as the train chugged down the tracks in a steady and comforting way. If she closed her eyes, she would almost be able to imagine it were just like any other trip to Hogwarts. Could almost imagine Harry and Ron were there, eating a revolting amount of goodies from the trolley.

"Yeah. Could this be anymore awkward?" Tracey said. "Get your shit together, people. I cannot survive an entire trip to Hogwarts in awkward silence. I will literally die."

There was a long silence. "Ugh!" Tracey slouched down in her seat to mope.

"Mya, can we talk?" Sirius asked abruptly. "Alone?"

Hermione rose silently and together they stepped out into the corridor. Sirius gripped her gently by her uninjured arm and steered her into the toilet then locked the door. "Muffliato."

Hermione met his gaze, bracing herself for whatever required toilet-level privacy.

"How many missions, Mya?"

Oh. She sighed. She felt like she was doing that a lot lately. "Nine," she said softly.

"Including yesterday?"

"… No."

"Dammit, Mya!" Sirius slammed his fist into the wall. "Why didn't you tell us? Why would you hide that?" He took a deep breath, his eyes flashing. "What if you hadn't come home?"

Oh, Sirius. "I… I didn't want it to be a big fight every time I left. I was afraid that-"

"Bullshit," he growled. "That's a bullshit excuse, Mya, and you—"

"I was afraid I wouldn't come back, Sirius! I was afraid that I wouldn't come back and some stupid fight would be our last memory of each other, our last words to each other. I didn't want to die fighting with my best friend!" Hermione blinked back the tears that pricked at her eyes, and was astonished to see Sirius doing the same.

He stared at her a moment longer. "Oh, Mya." He pulled her into a tight embrace. "No more fights then," he whispered, he promised. "No more fights." He pulled back and fixed her with his steady gaze. "And no more hiding. No more sneaking. You have to trust us to carry you carry your burdens."

Hermione nodded solemnly, and Sirius pulled her back in for another hug.

Then he pulled back. "Hey, and Remus? He'll come around okay? Just give him a day or two to adjust. I promise."

"I don't know, Sirius. He seems…"

"Totally freaked out? Intimidated as hell? Like a total insecure idiot?"

Hermione laughed half-heartedly.

"He knew exactly what he was getting into with you, Mya. He's always known that you're a badass witch. He's always known that you intended to fight Voldemort. He just, you know, didn't realize it would be so soon. Or without him." He dragged his fingers through his thick, black hair.

"It feels a little like you have this whole crazy secret life that we don't get to be part of. To him it's like, overnight, you went from smart, funny, brave Hermione, to this intense warrior princess Hermione. The way Gideon talked about you - the respect in his voice… Just give Remus some time to remember you can be both Hermiones, not just one or the other."

"You're going to yell at him, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

Hermione laughed and pressed an impulsive kiss to his cheek. "I love you, Sirius Black."

Sirius' eyes widened and he froze for the briefest of moments. Then he dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. "Back atcha, warrior princess."

Together they slipped out of the bathroom… and directly into Regulus. Literally.

Regulus raised one elegant eyebrow. Severus and Lucius were with him. "Belanger."

Hermione stared at them. She knew Bella would have told Voldemort that Hermione was an Order member. She was outed… and she'd never really looked that neutral to begin with, only chaotic. It wasn't safe for them to be seen with her. Lucius was watching her very carefully. There was a trace of warning in his gaze.

Sirius slipped his hand into hers, and she took a moment to appreciate his silence. He knew exactly what this moment was, had to be.

She leveled a look of pure love at Regulus and Severus. A look that said goodbye. "Black, Malfoy," she acknowledged coldly. There was a flicker of approval in Lucius' eyes. A shadow of resignation in Reg's. She nodded toward her arm as she turned her eyes on Severus. "Snape, I see you've been teaching dear Bella new tricks."

His gaze dropped to her wound, then flitted back up, guilt flashing through his eyes for a split second before they were shuttered and empty.

Hermione's heart broke for these boys. For the hideous things she knew must be hiding beneath their sneering indifference. Then, suddenly, she noticed the tension in their bodies. Something was coming.

"That was Snivellus?" Sirius hissed, trying to push past her.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Hermione muttered. "Leave it, Sirius. This is not the fight."

"Yes, do listen to your master, Black. Be a good dog," Severus sneered.

"Sirius," Hermione hissed urgently. "Something is about to—"

The train rocked and the five of them crashed to the floor. People up and down the train screamed. Then the lights flickered… and went out. There was a round of screams that quickly fell silent.

"Lumos!"

Sirius' and Regulus' wands lit the corridor as Hermione's flashed out to stupefy Regulus and Severus. She rounded on Lucius before his wand was even in his hand.

"You tell your master we were ready today. You tell him, tell him this is how this war is going to go from here on out." The words were bold. Dangerous. She was acting in anger now, not logic. She was regretting them even as she found deep pleasure in saying them. "We will always be one step ahead of him. Always. And then, one day, we'll take him down. Stupefy!"

Lucius slumped to the ground next to his fellow Slytherins. Hermione stepped over them. "Come on," she whispered to Sirius. "We need to get to Mel before she freaks out."

"Did you mean what you said back there? About being one step ahead?"

Hermione grinned darkly. "Yes. The Express is very well-protected. There are a series of clever enchantments and specialized wardings on the train this year. The conductor is incredibly well-protected. Most of the Order is also here, mostly Polyjuiced as students."

She opened the door to their car and stepped inside. James and Lily had returned, and were hovering near the door, looking indecisive.

Hermione smiled. "Let me make sure we haven't been boarded. I think their attack was probably meant to stop the train so that they could sneak on. But the train is still moving, so… Let's just find out." Her Patronus otter slipped out the door in search of Alastor. Moments later, Alastor himself appeared in the doorway - his face obscured, of course. "Train's clear," he grunted. "Their attack failed. We're just working on getting the lights back on."

"Thanks for the update, Alastor."

He nodded curtly, and then strode away.

"We need to go reassure the students then," Lily said in a quavering voice.

"Yeah," James said, and his voice was a little shaky too. "Let them know the Aurors have it in hand."

Lily silently communicated to Hermione that Mel needed her, and then Lily and James sped off on their impromptu Head Student duties.

"You know," Hermione mused, "I always thought James Potter was the weirdest choice for Head Boy. I'm honestly a little surprised to see him taking it so seriously."

"That's what's on her mind right now!" Tracey said, her eyebrows raised.

Hermione ignored it and slid onto the seat beside Mel, pulling the girl's hand into hers. "I'm sorry," Hermione said softly. Mel slipped her head wordlessly onto Hermione's shoulder, her eyes shut, as tears silently streaked down her face. Tracey and Hermione's concerned gazes locked over Mel's smooth brown hair, but neither girl spoke. Mel would let them in when she was ready.

The rest of the train ride passed uneventfully, though it was clear, by the atmosphere at the feast, that everyone was even more shaken up.

Albus rose as the food cleared away.

"Welcome, my dear friends, to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I want to reassure you that your parents have all been notified regarding the events that took place on the Hogwarts Express today - though you are, of course, welcome to write them yourselves." His eyes were not twinkling.

"Today we witnessed the lengths to which Lord Voldemort will go to strike fear into the hearts of the wizarding community. He is well aware that Hogwarts is the safest place for you to be, and he sought to shake that sense of security by attacking our train. He believed that if he could show that, indeed, students are not safe in our care, perhaps parents would pull them out. Perhaps fear would make our families more vulnerable."

Albus paused then, and Hermione even sort of appreciated the theatricality of it. Let it sink in, she thought furiously. Let them understand that Voldemort didn't win today. That they are safest right here.

"He failed," Albus said firmly. "His servants did not manage to board the Hogwarts Express. They did not manage to harm our students, or stop your arrival at this place, this haven where you are safest. Lord Voldemort failed today."

"He didn't fail yesterday!" a Ravenclaw shouted. Everyone else was silent. They didn't want to condemn Albus, they were begging to be reassured.

Albus nodded seriously. "You are correct, Mr. Butler. This summer has been devastating for many of us. The wizarding world is in mourning. Make no mistake. But today we won. And we win every day that we don't give in to fear, every day that we rise back up."

"I've heard he's immortal," said a Hufflepuff girl. "How do we rise against something like him?"

Hermione's heart pounded in her chest with the urge to stand, to speak, but her words wouldn't mean anything to these people.

James stood instead. "Voldemort is just a man," he said fiercely. "And a man can be fought. His army can fall. His battles can be lost."

Sirius stood next to him, his gaze on Hermione. "Today we were one step ahead of him. If we keep our heads, if we stand together, maybe we can stay that way."

Hermione felt tears in her eyes as more and more Gryffindors stood in solidarity, followed slowly by Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

This was dangerous, what was happening, almost horrifyingly so. This was a formal challenge to Voldemort. This was, in a way, a call to arms. She saw worried looks marring the pride in Albus' and Minerva's glistening eyes. But defiantly she stood there, with her determined peers, as they lit a candle of hope and conviction to get them through the night.

The next morning, her pride rose up again as she stepped into the common room to see several Gryffindors working on the news wall, carefully sticking up curated articles from the summer.

"You're changing this, Hermione," Lily said softy, slipping her arm through Hermione's. "I promise you, this never happened in your time. I promise you Sirius and James never stood in the Great Hall. I promise you we never understood, were never prepared. Not like this."

Hermione's throat tightened. She found herself wondering, always. Was she really changing things? Despite the ring being destroyed. Despite the shifts in the Order. Despite the Defence Association. There was this pervasive fear that somehow, everything was going to go the same way it had before. That changing the timeline really wasn't possible.

"You're going to make me cry," Hermione said with a laugh, and a little dismay. "I can't stand anymore tearful moments."

"I second that," Tracey said, coming down the stairs behind them and dragging a half-asleep Mel. "Also, coffee. Let's go do coffee."

When they got to breakfast the boys were already there, and Remus had saved a space for her. A breath of wary relief went through her, as Lily nudged her encouragingly.

"Morning, Hermione," Remus said as she sat down. He pressed his lips to her cheek. "I'm sorry I've been acting so…"

"Distant?" Hermione supplied. "Terrified?"

He laughed uncomfortable. "Dickish?"

"It's okay, Remus," Hermione smiled. "I get it."

He shook his head and looked at her seriously. "I'm sorry."

Hermione leaned forward with butterflies in her stomach, and kissed him, much to the chagrin and enjoyment of their friends nearby. Remus flipped his friends off over Hermione's shoulder as they pulled apart, happy smiles on their faces.

The rest of breakfast went swimmingly. Mel seemed a little more at ease, Lily and James continued to be an adorable old bickering couple, Tracey didn't drown in her coffee, and Sirius gleefully flirted up and down the table, easing back into his element. For a moment, everything felt… normal.

Potions was Hermione's first class. Lily and Mel had already gone down, so Hermione was on her way with Sirius and James. She was dreading it, dreading being in the same room as Severus. She kept hurrying the boys along, trying to get them there early, but by the time they finally arrived, they were the last ones, and sure enough…

The boys looked uncomfortably at one another.

"Ohh no," Hermione said. "We are not going to make a bad situation worse by seating one of you next to Snape for potions of all things. We'd all be dead by 9:30."

"We're so sorry, Mya," Sirius grimaced.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him and then strode, as confidently as she could, to take the seat next to Severus. "Snape," she greeted. Her tone had just the barest touch of calculated frost.

"Belanger."

"Well, now that the last of our stragglers have wandered in," Slughorn said good-naturedly, "Let's begin!" He stood from behind his desk and came around to lean against it. "Seventh year potions," he said with dramatic relish, "is my favourite year to teach! This year, as some of you may already know, is quite different from other years."

Hermione knew this, of course. Severus had mentioned it last year. Multiple times.

"This year, you will have the entire year to design and brew an innovative potion of your own choosing!"

Sirius and James groaned. They hated potions. The only reason they were still here was that they needed the NEWT to get into Auror training. Hermione smirked to herself. She'd intentionally kept the information from them over the summer so as to avoid putting up with the incessant complaining that was sure to now begin.

"Now, now," Slughorn said, "I'll be here to help along the way, of course! And we all know just how creative you two pranksters can be, so none of that!"

Slughorn went on, describing the parameters of the project. Advising them that, in the failure of inspiration, tweaks to existing potions may be acceptable. Partners were recommended, but not required.

Hermione knew what she would be doing. She'd known ever since Severus had first mentioned it toward the beginning of last year. Wolfsbane. She had her project proposal set out in front of her, ready to submit for approval, and she had spent considerable time wrestling with the morality, and doing copious research.

She didn't know the recipe, of course, but she did know some bits of it. And she was going to figure it out. It was a pain that she wouldn't have Severus' help. But he'd taught her a lot about potions last year - far more than his adult self ever had - and she knew she would manage. For Remus.

"Wolfsbane?" Severus sneered, eyeing her proposal.

She noticed his proposal was already prepared, too, though it was on a rolled up roll of parchment, rather than on Muggle paper as hers was, so she couldn't read any of it. She turned to him, an eyebrow raised. "Yes?" It was a dead-ringer imitation of Professor Snape, and she almost couldn't keep a straight face.

His own eyes darted across the first page of her proposal. She knew he couldn't say anything nice, but she wished she could ask him for his opinion. For his advice. She wondered whether he knew Occlumency and Legilimency yet, or whether that was something Albus taught him when he switched sides. She'd never felt the brush of his fingers in her mind, so probably he didn't.

Hermione sighed inwardly. She missed him. Him and Regulus and Narcissa. And even Lucius, a little. Shocking him and challenging him in passing conversation had been fun. Bantering with him. What a weird life she was living.

"This is…" he visibly searched for the words. Words that were true and cruel. "Ambitious, for someone of your caliber."

Hermione only smirked on the outside, but inside, she was smiling. He was a little impressed. He probably didn't believe she could do it. But he was impressed nonetheless.

The rest of the class was a review of the principles of potion-making. Hermione took notes, just in case there was something she needed to brush up on, but her potion with Severus had required a much deeper knowledge than what Slughorn was covering. She was only half-listening. Instead, she was paying much more (subtle) attention to the Slytherin beside her.

Severus was being strange. Something's going on, she realized. But she couldn't figure out what. She couldn't even really say what was tipping her off. Her Spidey-senses were just tingling. So she was quietly analyzing him in between notes.

"See something you like, Belanger?" he drawled, finally.

Damn. "Hardly," she scoffed.

"I certainly hope not."

"I assure you, you have nothing to fear," Hermione sneered. She knew he knew that she was channeling her inner Narcissa for this conversation. Her eyes dared Severus to keep a straight face, and somehow he managed it. Damned Slytherins.

He let it go at that, and they lapsed back into silence. Then, as the class was drawing to a close, he slid a small piece of paper across their table and under her parchment. Everything in her body was screaming for her to look up at him, or else down at the paper. Instead she forced herself to pretend nothing had happened. She carried on taking her useless notes until finally class was finished.

As soon as Slughorn said a cheerful, "See you next class!" Hermione was out of her seat, her things already packed away in her bag.

She strode up to Slughorn's desk. "Excuse me, Professor?"

"Oho, Miss Belanger. Dare I hope that package in your hand is a project proposal?"

Hermione smiled distractedly. "Yes, sir. I look forward to hearing your thoughts."

Slughorn accepted the pages eagerly. Then he paused. "Just you, Miss Belanger?" His gaze darted from her, to a spot over her shoulder where Severus was presumably waiting.

"Just me," she said firmly.

"Oh. Well, alright then," he forced a smile back onto his face, but a great deal of his enthusiasm had disappeared. "I'll review it tonight."

"Thank you, sir. See you next class."

She met up with the boys in the hall.

"Lunch at last!" James said.

"You two go on ahead," Hermione said. "I've got to run up to the dormitory real quick."

James opened his mouth.

"Girl stuff," Hermione said pointedly.

James' mouth snapped shut and even Sirius looked uncomfortable. "Er, well, see you down there then," he said.

Hermione smiled, and then rushed back to her dorm. She ignored Lily, who was already sitting on the bed reading, and dove into her bag. "Where the bloody hell is it?" Hermione muttered, finally dumping everything onto her bed.

Lily set her book down. "Um. Everything okay?"

"I think so. I hope so," Hermione said distractedly. She didn't even know what she was hoping, or dreading, that she might find on that stupid scrap of paper. Only that she couldn't stand any more wondering about it. "Aha! Here it is!" She pulled the paper from Severus from the pile and carefully unfolded it.

Lily watched expectantly as Hermione's eyes flew over the spiky letters of Severus' script. Her eyebrows lifted, and her mouth fell slightly open.

"What is it?" Lily asked, exasperated.

"It's from Severus," Hermione said softly. "I think it's the counter-curse for my arm."

"I- What?" Lily came to sit on Hermione's bed, her own eyes scanning the parchment scrap.

"The curse that Bella hit me with, it was Severus'. And it's a big deal. It's a horrific thing to be in the hands of the Death Eaters. But this… He should never have given this to me." The possible ramifications roared in Hermione's head. "Idiot!"

"He loves you."

Hermione's mental rant at Severus drew to a halt, and the look on her face must have been hilarious because Lily burst out laughing.

"Not like that," Lily choked out. "He just cares about you, silly. He wanted you healed."

Hermione glanced from Lily to the paper and back. "I dunno, Lils. This is big. This is him betraying the Dark Lord. This is… this is him helping the Order. He knows that. He wouldn't do that just so my arm would heal a little faster."

Lily's eyes widened ever so slightly. "You think he feels guilty?"

Hermione shrugged. "I know he feels guilty. I just… this is huge. He needs to be… so much more careful than this." Hermione pulled out the notebook Minerva had given her last year and copied the incantation down before setting Severus' parchment on fire.

Lily looked alarmed. "You really think that's necessary?"

"If this ever got back to Voldemort, Sev would be dead, Lily." A wave of hopelessness washed over her. "I don't know how to help them," she whispered. "I don't know how to get them out."

"Do they want out?" Lily asked gently.

Hermione's heart shuddered. "I don't know, Lils. I don't know. And I have no way to definitively find out. But I know what they've been asked to do, and I know who they are. And I know it's destroying them inside."

Lily took Hermione's hand in hers, her eyes filled with heart-on-her-sleeve tears. "So we wait," she said quietly, but with steel in her voice. "We wait and we hope that Sev - and your other friends - come around."

Hermione squeezed Lily's hand. "Thanks," she said. "Thanks for being here."

Lily smiled back.

"Do you think Mel is okay?" Hermione asked.

Lily sighed. "I don't know, Hermione. She's never been like this before."

"She's strong, though," Hermione said. "We all are."

"I just wish she'd talk to us."

"Me too," said Hermione. "If she doesn't soon, then we'll just have to talk to her."

Lily nodded. "We won't let her do this alone," she said fiercely.

They sat in silence for a minute.

"Lunch?" Lily said, finally.

"Lunch."