I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 133: Funniest VR Moments of 2019 (by JoshDub)
"Okay, kids. One more video, and then I'll let you relax." Nova said.
"More Internet Historian?" Ruby said.
"Nah. Just some VR compilation from a guy called JoshDub. I've discovered him recently and he's funny. Let's watch it."
(First clip)
Joshdub: Oh, I get it, alright. So this is- this is kind of a Dark Souls thing, alright. Yeah, don't worry, I played Dark Souls before. I'm the Dark Souls master! First comes the block... ooh, the comes the parry... Here comes the roll, bitch! Yeah... (Fails) Oh... Oh my god... F***... *cough* Aw f***...
Some of them laughed a little.
"Did he really tried to roll?" Blake said.
Josh: Oh my... *cough* Oh my god, this is-... ohhh shit. F***. (gets hit) Stop hitting me, dude!
(Later)
Josh: Okay, Dark Souls does not translate... that well to VR.
(Next clip)
Josh: Aight bois. You know th- you know the drill.
Mully: First one to kill him gets beers on me, boys! (Shoots Reekid with a rocket.)
Some of them laughed.
"He got him! That scream though." Yang said while laughing.
Your Narrator: And now it's time we say goodbye.
Goodbye my love
Reekid it's time
For you to be shanked in your ass. (stabs Reekid and they all laugh)
They all laughed.
"I didn't expect it to end up like this!" Pyrrha said.
Narrator: Hello, everybody! And welcome to Your Narrator's Fantastic Cooking Extravaganza! And today we're gonna be cooking up something very special. It's time to make sure you get the main course *smooch*... ready. Here we have a Middle Eastern potato.
"Uhh, that's a grenade." Ruby said.
"That's the joke." Nova said.
"Oh."
Narrator: You wanna very carefully, just cut it very slow as not to get the detonations, cuz it seems to- (pulls the pin) oh shit! Uhh, uhh... APPETIZERS! (Throws the grenade and blows up Hank the Tank. Everyone laughs.)
Everyone laughed.
"Well those appetizers sure had an explosive taste!" Yang said. Everyone groaned.
"Do you have to ruin everything?" Weiss said.
(Next clip)
Josh: I don't wanna have to taze ya everytime you have a tantrum, but god help me-
Reekid: YOU SHUT THE F*** UP YOU STUPID LITTLE F****** COMMIE B****!
Everyone was a bit surprised and then some of them laughed.
Josh: Oh, I didn't teach him those words! Where'd he pick them up?
(Later)
Josh: Mully, the parenting handbook said a tender touch.
Mully: Reekid, son, what's wrong, mate? What's- come here. Come here, Reekid... Reekid, come here. Come here, Reekid. (Reekid walks weirdly towards him) Come on, I know you're sad. Look, Josh didn't mean it, alright? Just come here, come here. Come here, mate... NOW! GET HIM! GET HIM! (Josh tazes Reekid and they laugh.)
They all laughed.
"Gottem!" Nora said.
"Great parenting." Blake said.
Reekid: (aneurysm noises)
(Next clip)
Mully: We know you've been lonely lately, man. We've found a solution, dude. Look!
Narrator: Solution? (The other step aside to reveal...)
Josh: Move, Aspen! (Aspen steps aside to reveal...)
Mully: It's a girl, Narrator! It's a real girl!
"A girl? Those don't exist." Yang said.
Narrator: God damn, baby. Look at you... Listen... I can sing my ABCs to you. See, I'll give you an A, because you're awesome. A B, because you're beautiful. A C, because you're confident, and I'll give you this D, because you deserve it. (Everyone laughed.)
Some of them laughed.
"You can't be serious..." Weiss said.
"I don't know, I would've fallen for it. Especially with that voice."
Narrator: Is that a yes?
"Say yes!" Nora said.
Rachael: Alright, fine.
Narrator: SHE WANTS THE D! (Everyone celebrates)
(Next clip)
Josh: Hey... Oy kid.
Mully: What?
Josh: Come 'ere.
Mully: Wha-...
Josh: Come 'ere! Come 'ere! Come 'ere, kid. You want some candy? You want some candy? You like candy, don't 'cha?
Mully: I don't- dude, I don't- I don't like candy, bro.
Josh: You look like you like candy. Come on, hop in the van...
Mully: I'm telling you I don't f****** like-
Josh: Get in the vaaaan... Come on...
Mully: I don't- I'm not-
Josh: (pulls out a gun) Get in the van. Get in the f****** van.
"That escalated quickly." Blake said.
Mully: (pulls out a gun) Why don't you get in the van?
"Oh shit!" Yang said.
"The double gunplay!" Ruby said.
Josh: Ohhhh.
Mully: Why don't you get in the f****** van, huh?
Josh: The double gunplay... You get in the van. You get in the van. You get in the-
Mully: You get in the f****** van. You get in the van. You get in the van!
"Wait, who's gonna rape who?" Nora said.
Josh: You get- you get in the van! You-... I think you should be getting in the van. You shou- you get in the van!
Mully: You get in the van! You get in the van! YOU GET IN THE VAN! YOU GET IN THE VAN! YOOOOOU GEEEEEET IIIN-
"Just both go already!" Weiss said.
Josh: How about... we both get in the van?
Mully: (drops his gun) Alright, let's go.
"Finally."
(Next clip)
IDK 1: What can I get for you?
IDK 2: I'd like 3000 chicken fajitas.
Mully: We only sell Big Macs and Happy Meals motherf*****! Get out! (shoots him)
"Now that's good service." Yang said.
Narrator: I guess I've come at a bad time... (slowly walks away)
Mully: NEXT!
(Later)
IDK 3: I wanna Happy Meal.
Mully: Ah okay, finally a proper customer.
IDK 1: How old are you?
IDK 3: ... Five. (gets shot)
Some of them laughed a little.
IDK 1: Next! Alright, whaddya want?
IDK 4: Aye see, aye, ima laysee, pees chi, idunno, fum courju dah-
Mully: Are you havin a stroke? Mate, speak. I don't even know what the f*** ya sayin'.
(Next clip)
Josh: Cray! Cray!
Cray: Oh yeah, Josh, what? What?
Josh: Shh, shh. Come here, come here. Do you wanna smoke- do you wanna smoke some rock bro?
Cray: Smoke some what?
Josh: Some rock, bro.
"Minecraft diamond. That's the shit." Nora said.
Cray: Some rock? (Sniffs rock)
JuicyFruitSnacks: Hey! What are you boys doing?
Mully: Aye, we're doing drugs behind school, dude! Don't f****** tell a teacher or we'll gang bash ya after school tomorrow.
Cray: I'll smash your skull in, kid! (They all laughed.)
Some of them laughed.
Cray: Try some. Try some.
Josh: Yeah, wanna be somebody, don't cha? Huh? (Someone falls and dies)
They all laughed.
"Where did he come from?!" Ruby said while laughing.
Josh: Whoa, what the?! (They all laughed) Where'd he come from?!
(Next clip)
Josh: Bro, the boat's not even moving. Do you know what the f*** ya doin? (Falcon acts like he's driving the boat. Then Narrator comes and shoots him.)
Narrator: I am the captain now. (They laugh)
Some of them laughed a little.
"I'm starting to like the guy with the cool voice." Yang said.
(Next clip)
(Reekid falls)
Mully: Oh my... Reekid!
Josh: We gotta go get him! We gotta go get him! We gotta get him!
Reekid: MY F****** SPINAL CORD! (screams)
Josh: Oh Jesus!
Reekid: Okay, I'm good.
Josh: Wait, what the-... (The see Narrator on fire. He starts running in panic.)
(WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK)
"Wait, what just happened?" Jaune said.
(Next clip)
(Josh sees a penguin)
Pyrrha started giggling.
"Sorry, I just couldn't hold it." she said while giggling.
Penguin: Yo, what's up?
Josh: What kind of Pokémon is this?
Penguin: Pokimon? No, I'm not a Pokimon.
Josh: How do I capture this Pokémon? I want to keep him and use him to fight my rivals... and gain friendship. You're my Pokémon now.
Penguin: What?
Josh: You are my Pokémon.
Penguin: No.
Josh: Yes, you are my Pokémon!
Penguin: No, I-... I'm not Pokimun.
Josh: You are Pokémon, come back here, Pokémon!
Some of them laughed a little.
Penguin: W- what the fuck?
Josh: Listen to me.
Penguin: I'm- I'm not a Pokimon. No. No.
Josh: I am your master.
Penguin: I am not Pokimon.
Josh: You are a Pokémon.
Penguin: What the fuck?
Josh: *gasp* There's another Pokémon! Time for a battle! Time for a battle, Penguinmon.
Penguin: What the fuck are you talking about?
"Oh no, it's so dead..." Ruby said.
(Next clip)
Mully: I'm calling you out right now, bitch! Let's have a f****** ree-off right now! You go first!
Reekid: You wanna go?!
"Ree-off?" Ren said.
"I think they're going to have a scream competition...?" Jaune said.
(Reekid rees first)
Mully: Ohh man, that's gonna be a hard one to beat, man.
"Nah, Ruby can beat him." Yang said.
"Yeah, I- hey!" Ruby said.
(Mully rees.)
Some of them laughed.
(Actual footage of outside Mully's studio)
They all laughed.
"His vocal cords are probably ruined now." Pyrrha said.
"Ruby would still beat them both." Yang said.
"Stop it!" Ruby said, punching her arm, but it didn't do anything because she has tiny bebe hands.
(Next clip)
Narrator: JoshDub. Age: Unknown. Sexual preference: Mystery. (Josh laughs a little) His mission for today: Find the Mully.
Mully: Now ya gotta introduce me.
Narrator: Mully. Age: Purple. (Josh laughs)
Some of them laughed a little.
Narrator: How much does he weigh: At least... two of Josh.
Some of them laughed.
"Damn!" Yang said.
Mully: What the f***?
(Later)
Narrator: As Josh slowly reaches for the knob... and pulls the door wide open... (Pizza time) (they both laugh)
Some of them laughed.
"I already love that guy!"
(Next clip)
(Josh walks through Minecraft and finds a gang of Steves, aiming their guns at him.)
Josh: Oh f***.
"That's something you don't see at all." Jaune said.
"I wish that was an actual update..." Ruby said.
"Do you even play Minecraft?" Weiss said.
"No...?"
Narrator: You came to the wrong Minecraft server... bitch.
Josh: These gangs of Steves are getting really outta hand.
Mully: Give us the diamonds, bitch!
(Next clip)
Josh: I know you're around here somewhere, dude.
Mully: YEET, YEET, YEET! (laughs)
Josh: HEY! I swear... that barrel just moved.
Mully: Naw, that's... that ain't me, fam.
Josh: It kinda looks like ya a little bit.
Mully: (nervous noise) (leaves his spot and runs away)
Some of them laughed.
Josh: Hey! Come back here!
Mully: NO! NOOO-
(Next clip)
Josh: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
Mully: If you're happy and you know it
And you really want to show it
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands
(Loli avatar claps her tits.)
They all laughed.
"That was so sudden!" Pyrrha said.
"I wish I could do that." Nora said.
(Next clip)
Narrator: Hey everybody! Welcome back to Random Facts with Reekid!
Reekid: Did you know your asshole can stretch up to 8 inches wide, therefore a raccoon can fit in your ass? (They all laughed)
They all laughed.
"What was that right now?!" Yang said while laughing.
"Is that true?!" Jaune said while laughing.
"Why does he know that?!" Blake said while laughing.
Narrator: I can fit a whole jar of jellybeans up my ass.
Mully: What the f***, dude?! Where did you learn that?! (Laughs even more)
Reekid: Yeah, but it's true, raccoons can go into holes 4 inches wide.
Josh: Stop! Stop!
(Next clip)
Josh & Mully: Makin our way through the block
With a glock
You zombies finna get shot
(Shooting sounds)
Mully: Alright, done.
Josh: I love killing zombies with you.
Mully: I love killing zombies with you too, man.
Josh: (sees a zombie) Oh shit. Oh, hang on.
Mully:(shoots it) PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!
(Next clip)
Cray: Uh- unzips jacket, revealing hot muscles underneath. Looks at Hobbit feet. Thinks about sucking them, but gets out badge first. (Mully laughs)
Some of them laughed.
"I already hate this." Blake said while laughing.
"Now that's a fanfic!" Nora said.
Cray: "Good evening"... (Mully keeps laughing) "Good evening"...
Mully: I'm sorry! I just- I wasn't ready, bro!
"None of us were." Jaune said.
(Take 2)
Cray: Ok, here we go. "Good evening young lady. Looks like"... (Mully laughs again)
(Take 3)
Mully: Reset. Woo!
Cray: Reset. Ready? And three, two, one, action! "Hello, young lady. I"... (Mully laughs again and falls to the sea.)
(Next clip)
Reekid: I like to play
Fortnite on my tablet
Josh: OY! Hold still, stop humping the floor-
"What's wrong with this kid?" Weiss said.
Reekid: (I really don't know)
Narrator: What the hell are you doing? Oh my god!
Reekid: No! I don't wanna go to bed, I wanna play Fortnite!
Narrator: You're like a mutated Goomba from Mario Bros.
Reekid: (anti-vax sounds)
Josh: Fuckin anti-vax Goomba.
(Next clip)
Josh: Boys~. Where art you~? I know you're round here somevhere. Where are you, boys~? (He hears some noise. He sees a can in a washing machine. It screams and hides inside. Josh sees a cola can and a bottle.)
Mully: He's got us, Narrator... He's got- look at him... He's come to put his washing on! Please!
Narrator: Hello! Welcome to the secret society of the washing machine. (Josh shoots them)
"That just makes me want to play Prop Hunt." Ruby said.
"In VR?" Yang said.
"Yes! Weiss~?"
"What did I tell you about asking me to buy stupid stuff?"
"But-"
"No."
"Aww..."
(Next clip)
Josh: Today we're gonna show you a little magic trick. We're gonna show you how to make this pencil disappear. One, two... (fails) One, two... (fails again) Goddamnit. (He keeps stabbing him) Goddamnit! This was so much easier on the movie!
Some of them laughed a little.
"It probably needs a lot of practice." Ruby said.
"And a lot of dead people." Weiss said.
"We live in a society." Nora said.
(Next clip)
Josh: You just need to uh- here, let me help you.
Narrator: I actually tried to shoot myself and it didn't work. (Later) Sorry.
Josh: Don't do it.
Narrator: You gonna have to do this one on your own. (misfires) ... On your own. (misfires) What the hell?
Josh: Here, l- hang on, hang on. Yep, there you go.
Narrator: (shoots) Perfect.
Josh: Now- now you can.
Narrator: On your own. (misfires) Motherfff-
Some of them laughed a little.
(Next clip)
Josh: (eating) Have you ever thought about, that like... every market in Africa... is a black market? (Mully starts laughing)
They started laughing.
Mully: I wasn't f****** ready! (Laughs)
"Neither were we!" Yang said while laughing.
"That came out of nowhere!" Jaune said while laughing.
Mully: Even with the f****** chewing sounds and sh- (laughs) I was not f****** ready for that, dude. Holy fu- (wheezes) Shut the f*** up!
(Later)
Mully: Ohh my god. Have you ever thought that every market in Africa is a black mar- (laughs)
They kept laughing.
"It's so hysterical!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
Mully: I can't, dude! I can't, man, my chest is hurtin. (Laughs again) F****** hell! (Keeps laughing)
(Next clip)
Josh: You can't tell me what to do, this is my party and I'll dance on the table if I wanna! (Starts kicking people) That's what I thought- ooooh... shit, he died.
(Next clip)
Josh: Come 'ere, Box. This is my Pokémon, Box.
Narrator: Box, Box!
Ruby started laughing.
Josh: This my lil... Box Pokémon. I like him. He's a bit simple but they're runnin out of ideas. (Mully laughs) Alright, ready, Boxmon?
Narrator: Box!
Some of them laughed.
Josh: Ready?
Narrator: Box. (Mully laughs)
"That was actually a cute Pokémon." Ruby said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Alright, has anyone got any good ideas of content? Because frankly we're running out.
Panzer: I do. Can I-...
Josh: Ok, go. Panzer, go, let's go.
Panzer: My- my trivia gameshow? Can we try it?
Mully: Nah, that's gay.
Josh: Yeah, that is super gay. (They all laugh)
Aspen: Piece of shit. (They laugh even more)
Some of them laughed.
(Next clip)
Mully: Reekid's- Reekid's snoring, dude.
Josh: This'll wake him up, bro. This'll wake him up. (Josh shoots a flare at where Reekid sleeps. Reekid starts screaming)
Some of them laughed.
"What are they doing?" Pyrrha said.
Narrator: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakie. (Reekid starts running around on fire, screaming, panicking everyone else.)
(Later)
(Reekid still runs, screaming, taking down trees.)
Josh: Oh my god, dude!
They keep laughing.
"He ruined the forest...!" Blake said.
Mully: Why do trips always end up like this?!
(Next clip)
Josh: Come here, c'mon, good boy, good boy. Good boy. (Opens a door) Get in there. Get in there.
Narrator: Box. Box.
Josh: I'm sorry, little Boxmon, I love you, you know I do, but I just can't afford to feed ya anymore...
"No, don't do it!" Ruby said.
Narrator: Box? (Josh is tearing up) Bo- bo- box! Box!
Josh: Don't do this.
"No, please..."
Narrator: Box...
Josh: Don't make this harder than it has to be, Boxmon. (Boxmon starts crying)
"No..."
Josh: (loads his shotgun) Stop, sto-! (Kills Boxmon.)
"NOOO!"
(Josh runs out of the bathroom, crying.)
Mully: F*** you c**** are f****** weird ay...
Some of them laughed a little.
"Poor Boxmon... It didn't have a chance to evolve yet."
"Yeah, to a crate. Focus!" Weiss said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Does anyone know how to do funny voices?
AgentBSmith: What sorta voice ya want?
Mully: Give us like, 1960s, like, cocaine addict.
AgentBSmith: (sniffs) I f****** love cocaine! (Mully laughs)
Some of them laughed a little.
Josh: Nah, we told ya do a voice, not just tell us that you love cocaine.
(Next clip)
Mully: Alright, oy guys. When Cray joins, no one speak to him and we'll just pretend like he's fu- his shit isn't working, so he starts like raging?
(Later)
Cray: Can you guys hear me? Waddya doin? How do I get a weapon?! Waddya y'all doin?! Can ya hear me? (They all creepily following him) GET BACK! This is too much for me, get back!
Some of them were holding their laughter.
"Poor guy." Ruby said.
Cray: PLEASE, DON'T! PLEASE! PLEASE, IT'S MY FIRST TIME IN VR! PLEASE, DON'T! MULLY, SAY SOMETHING! DON'T DO IT! (They all shoot him and kill him and laugh)
Some of them laugh.
"That was really funny. I love when people do stuff like that." Yang said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Uhh, I'm from the health inspection service, and uhh... (points at the dead body) What the f*** is that?
Mully: Whaddya- what's what? (The other guy covers it)
Josh: Wasn't that a guy that was... applying for a job earlier?
Mully: Get you Happy Meal and f*** off!
(Next clip)
Josh: He wants to be friends. How do we make friends with this man? (He grabs his face and punches a hole in his chest) No, that's bad. Don't- don't do that.
Some of them laughed a little.
(Later)
Josh: Why don't you try... (kills the monster, grabs its hand and high fives it) Yes. Everyone loves high fives.
"He's better at making friends than me..." Ruby said.
"So we high five after the kill?" Nora said.
(Next clip)
Reekid: (whispering) Hey guys, it's me, Reekid. And today we're gonna be doing some ASMR. The first thing that we're going to be doing is ASMR screeching. (clears throat) Reeeeee. (They all laugh.)
Some of them laughed.
"At least it's better than chewing." Blake said.
Reekid: (whispering) Now, tactical reload. (He does that and they laugh again)
They laughed again.
"Now that's your type of ASMR, huh, sis?" Yang said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Everyone stand around the pool, on the sides. Just watch as uh... Narrator walks on water. Alright, boys. (Narrator walks on water)
Narrator: What if god was one of us
Riding on the battle bus
Falcon: IT'S A MIRACLE! (AgentBSmith shoots himself)
"Is that how religions are on Earth?" Weiss said.
"Eh." Nova said.
(Next clip)
(Josh sees a Link avatar)
Josh: Hey, Link.
Link: (Link scream) (Starts dancing while screaming)
Some of them laughed.
(Next clip)
Mully: It's beautiful that we get to spend... this amazing moment with each other... you kno-
Josh: (slaps his hand) Don't f****** touch me! I've got this thing, dude. I can't- I don't wanna go into it, but I've- I've got this thing.
Mully: What is it?
Josh: I've ju- I've just got this thing, okay?
Mully: Tell me what it is.
"AIDS." Nora said.
"Even worse."
Josh: Okay. It's a penis.
Mully: Ohh f***... (shoots either him or himself)
Some of them laughed.
"It's even worse! He's a dude!" Yang said.
(Next clip)
Mully: Put that down! Put that down, dude!
Reekid: Do you want some beer? Shut up. It's flaming hot beer, sponsored by Cheetos. (Sets himself on fire and screams)
Some of them laughed.
"Kids are dumb." Ruby said.
Mully: Oooh my god! (Reekid screams) Reekid! Reekid!
Josh: I've got it, I've got it! Stand back, stand back! (Tries to heal him but the syringe doesn't pierce.)
(Next clip)
(Josh goes to McDonald's and sees someone inside getting shot.)
IDK 1: Hey, how ya doin?
"You see someone being shot and you still enter the place. I can't believe this." Weiss said.
Josh: Uhh...
IDK 5: Can I get some service, please? (gets shot)
Josh: Oh f***.
IDK 2: I'm giving you a bad review on Yelp. (gets shot while Josh laughs)
IDK 1: Get out, get out! He was first, stop talking over him, you monster!
Some of them laughed a little.
(Next clip)
Josh: Shit, dude! Dude, run, run, run, run! Run! (Mario zombies are behind them)
"Whoa, Mario zombies?!" Yang said.
Mully: Why have you done?
(Later)
Mully: Zombie Marios. You f****** serious?
(Later)
Josh: Into the castle, dude! Into the castle! (Sees a zombie) Oh shit.
Mully: There's a lone one! (Josh shoots it and it flies away)
Josh: Oh shit! (Mully laughs)
Some of them laughed a little.
(Next clip)
Reekid: Hey guys, look, look, look.
Narrator: What?
Reekid: Creeper! Aww man!
So we back in the mine
Got our pickaxe swinging from
Side to-
Josh: SHUT UP! (Punches him)
Some of them laughed.
"But I liked it..." Ruby said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Boys, what- what the hell are yous doing?
Wozzo: Playing mobile games, bruh.
Josh: What do you mean bruh?
Wozzo: What do you mean what I mean? Mobile games, bruh.
Josh: Bruh.
Wozzo: Bruh.
Josh: Bruh.
Wozzo: Bruh!
Josh: Alright, fair enough.
"Is that how boys communicate?" Nora said.
Josh: So what are yous playing anyway that's so much better than VR?
Wozzo: What else? AFK.
Oli B: AFK.
Mully: I'm playing Flappy Bird! (Wozzo pulls a gun) No- (gets shot)
Some of them laughed.
"For some reason I expected another RAID Shadow Legends ad again." Jaune said.
(Next clip)
Mully: This one's called the Twirl n' Hurl.
Narrator: Obviously we have to do the Twirl n' Hurl. I mean...
Mully: I don't think we're ready, bois.
(Later)
(Mully and Reekid ride it and scream)
Some of them laughed a little.
(Next clip)
(Mully sees a Josh picking out of the corner and it runs away.)
Mully: What are you doing?! What are you doing?!
(Josh turns into a can and hides in a washing machine and laughs)
Mully: Josh?
Josh: You will never find me. (Laughs)
Mully: Where the f*** are you? (He found Josh) OH, WHAT THE- (Josh flees)
(Next clip)
Josh: So what do we do with no girls here?
"Suck off each other!" Yang said.
"You have very high expectations." Blake said.
Mully: Yes... Alright, uh, Agent? I want you to suck Panzer off, real quick. I wanna see it.
"Yes!" Yang said.
Panzer: HO HO HO! Oh yeah! (They all laugh)
They all laughed.
"Someone is happy." Blake said.
(Next clip)
Narrator: What would you do... if there was a sea turtle right in front of you?
"I would try and touch its shell, probably." Ruby said.
Narrator: Crying for help? Would you help the sea turtle? Or would you let it die?
"What is he stepping on?" Pyrrha said.
"Baby turtles." Nova said.
"Oh no!" Ruby said.
"Not the baby turtles...!" Weiss said.
Narrator: Hi, my name is Your Narrator, and this is a paid promotion sponsored by PETA.
(Later)
Mully: Why are you bottling the turtles, guys. No Narrator!
Josh: No! No! No! No! (The turtles blow up.) Oh my god, dude!
"Holy shit, that's actually graphic." Yang said.
Josh: Do you know how many paper straws we're gonna have to use to be able to make up for that?!
(Next clip)
Josh: Come on, mate. I know you can smell it. (Reekid comes out)
Reekid: Money. Money.
Josh: Yeah, yeah, that's right. There we go. (Reekid steals the money)
(Later)
Mully: Reekid, waddya... waddya- waddya doin down there, Reekid? Waddya do-... Put it down- (Reekid breaks the money jar on Mully's head) OH SHIT!
Some of them laughed.
(Later)
(Mully hits Reekid with a baseball bat)
Mully: Reekid, die!
Reekid: (rees)
They all laughed.
"And that's how you discipline your kids."
(Next clip)
Josh: (Sees a pillory) I wonder if this thing works? (He grabs the monster next to him) Get in there, come on.
"He's trying to trap the monster?" Weiss said.
"He won't do it."
Josh: Get in the- oh. Oh. Okay, almost. Get in there, get in there, get- come on. Oh, oh, oh! (He did it. Then kicks it.) Yeet! Yeet!
Some of them laughed.
Josh: Oh, reminds me of childhood.
"So they trapped him in a pillory and kicked him?" Blake said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Is this your son? Are you Reeman and this is Reeboy?
(Later)
Mully: Don't you t- (loses it) Don't you talk to me or m- (loses it) Don't you talk to me or my son ever- (loses it) Stop laughing, c***!
Some of them laughed a little.
"What is Reekid doing?" Ruby said while giggliing.
Mully: Don't you talk to me or my son ever again!
Josh: This is perfect.
Mully: (screeching) DON'T YOU TALK TO MY SON AGAIN! (Reekid wheezes)
They all laughed.
"They sure are father and son." Yang said.
(Next clip)
Josh: Sure you guys are all aware of uh, Russian Roulette? (He loads only one bullet and starts shooting) Safe. Safe. You're safe. You're safe. You're- (kills one) oh! (Everyone's shocked.) Oh, he's not safe. Not safe. Not safe.
(Later)
(They start again)
Narrator: F***.
(Another one dies and everyone's shocked.)
Josh: Ohh! Damn! This is fun, boys! This is fun! Here we go! (Kills another one) Ohh shit! This is fun, boys! Aren't you having fun? I'm having fun!
"I would've been terrified even if it was not real." Jaune said.
(Another one dies)
Josh: Ohh!
Mully: Ohhh shit!
Josh: Oh? (His team won) We did it.
Mully: We survived! We survived!
Josh: I told you! This is the only way that works!
"Easiest deathmatch." Yang said.
(Next clip)
Josh: I wanna give you my greatest creation. The Yeet Coaster! (Everyone's amazed)
"I want to try that so much right now."
"Me too!" Ruby said.
"It's so big!" Jaune said.
Reekid: Ma- bah bah bah. Mamma mia, pizzeria, pizzeria. Pizza rolls, pizza rolls, I'm scared, I'm scared, f*** you, Josh!
Narrator: Is this where all your ad revenue is going?
"Now I want some pizza rolls." Ruby said.
(Next clip)
Cray: How do you move quickly?! How do- somebody kill Reekid! I wanna win! Some- (falls in a hole) Help, I'm covered in semen! Help!
Some of them laughed a little.
"Oh god..." Blake said.
Josh: Don't open your mouth!
Juicy: I'M GOING IN BOYS! (Jumps in) WOOO!
Cray: What's happening down here?
Juicy: Ok...
Cray: Help me!
Reekid: OH MY GOD! IT'S KRISPY KREME GLAZE! (Jumps in)
"No!" Pyrrha said while laughing with the others.
Juicy: Just wade your way through the cum. We gotta go on... all through the cum cave... come on...
Cray: UGH, it's so sticky and delicious! UGHH! (They all laugh)
They all laughed.
"I hate this kind of humor." Weiss said while laughing.
(Next clip)
Josh: (breaks a bottle) Oh f***. Okay... (breaks another one) What- are you f-
(Later)
Josh: Easy... easy... come to me... I request- (breaks it) What the f-
(Later)
Some of them laughed a little.
Josh: Alcohol, I know we've had our problems, god knows we've had our problems, but just cooperate with me and let me drink you- (breaks it but grabs another one) Okay, we won! We got one! I'm set for a night on the town! Hang on lemme just... okay. (breaks it) What the f-
They laughed again.
"Our uncle's worst nightmare." Ruby said.
'My mother's too.' Weiss thought.
(Next clip)
Mully: My god, boys, look at the view! Look at the view! (They all look down)
"That's very high..." Jaune said.
(Josh hits Mully off the top.)
Mully: F***. (Starts falling)
They all laughed.
"He even stayed in the air for a bit!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
(Next clip)
Josh: Alright- woah, what's going on here, boys? Is this all for me? ...Did a bomb just go off in the kitchen?
Narrator: No, it's fine, it's- get out of the kitchen!
Josh: Okay, um...
Narrator: You step in this kitchen, I will rake your ass RED! Get out of my KITCHEN!
(Next clip)
Mully: This guy got a gun! Look at this gun! Ohhh...
Josh: Yoink! (Takes the gun) Woah, this is a cool gun, dude.
Mully: Oh, you f****** asshole, dude. You always do this to me, man! You always do this to me!
"I feel him. You always get the good guns." Yang said.
"Because I'm better at shooters than you." Ruby said, sticking out her tongue.
"I'm better at shooters than you, meh meh meh."
Josh: What? Dude, it was finders keepers. It's alright, don't worry. You can have this gun, bro. (Throws it off the canyon)
Mully: NOOO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Josh: Cuz I don't need it anymore.
(Next clip)
(Reekid gargles in his blood.)
Josh: He's got blood in his throat.
Reekid: (gargle)
Josh: Narrator, you know what we have to do... And now...
"Not this again." Blake said and starts laughing.
Josh: It's time to say goodbye
Both: Goodbye, my love
Reekid, it's time... (Josh kills Reekid)
Narrator: There we go.
Josh: (laughs) Shit!
(Next clip)
Josh: Welcome to our boat. What is your business here?
Mully: I- I dunno, cause I can't see anything. I'm trying to f******... How do I- how the f***... What is going on?! I can't swim up! Dude-
Reekid: It's cause you're bad at videogames.
Mully: I CAN'T SWIM UP! I'm just going down deeper!
Josh: Do the opposite of that, Mully. Try opposite of up.
Mully: ...What is the button?
Some of them were giggling hysterically.
Josh: I mean opposite of down, opposite of down.
Mully: I'm trying, c***. Listen-
Josh: Tell me which way is-
Mully: I'm trying-
Josh: Look for the- the- (Mully makes it) oh, there you go.
Mully: I made it, oof. (Falls again) Aww, FUUU-
(Next clip)
Some of them laughed.
"You fucking idiot, dude..." Yang said.
Josh: Everyone- everyone- everyone, stand on it together. Go go go! (They all go down the slide. Mully bounces off it and they all laugh)
They all laughed.
Josh: Oh, that was hilarious! YEAAAAAAH! WOOOOO YEAHHHHH!
"I still want to try that!" Nora said.
(Next clip)
Juicy: So uhh, the pigs are over here... This is what we're really here for, gentlemen. Is that a double pig?! Why's this pig so wide?! AHH! That's a thicc pig, baby! Look at you, Mully, with your lil disappointing ass pig, bro.
Mully: This my lil baby pig.
Juicy: F*** your baby pig, dude. Get that shit outta here.
Josh: If I wanted to watch 20 minutes worth of pig skits, dude, I would've just loaded up Amy Schumer's latest comedian special on Netflix, dude.
"Ohh shit! The roast!" Yang said.
"What did you expect? White women are not funny. Especially the fat ones." Nova said.
"And what am I?"
"White women are not funny. Especially the fat ones."
(Next clip)
Narrator: Y'all know how to get the dankest clouds? Watch this here, ready? (Breathes the cloud)
Josh: Dude, you are- you are the vape king, dude!
Mully: Send it, Narrator! Send it!
Josh: Ohhh, you are blowing dank clouds right now!
Mully: Send it! Yeees!
"It's official. He's my favourite of them." Yang said.
Narrator: (breathes more and starts coughing)
(Next clip)
(A bunch of retards are running at a cliff and jump off of it.)
(Next clip)
Narrator: How I love my pizza rolls
Josh: He loves his pizza rolls
Narrator: Give me your pizza rolls
Reekid: Gimme all dat pizza rolls
Narrator: Mum, can you warm up
Those pizza rolls in the microwave
Reekid: Thank you, I need my pizza rolls, uwu
Narrator: Gotta give me all your pizza rolls
Lovin' all the weeeeeee
Some of them laughed a little.
Reekid: Mmmm.
Narrator: Take it.
Reekid: So good.
Narrator: Take it, my brother. Mmmm.
Josh: Mommy can you get me some iced tea
And some pizza rolls, yeah.
Reekid: Momma can you get my epi-pen
I'm having an allergic reaction
To all this dick I'm sucking (they all laugh)
They all laughed.
Josh: Daddy can you moisten up
That pizza roll and-
Insert it into my ass... (They laughed)
They laughed again.
"The way he lowered his voice."
"I never thought I would hear a song about pizza rolls." Jaune said.
"Now I really want some." Ruby said.
(Next clip)
Josh: From now on we're just gonna kill people with fruit. It worked on Steve Jobs, so uh... I think we're gonna be Gucci.
(Later)
Josh: I'm trained in the anciert art of Whole Foods. Yah! (gets hit)
(Next clip)
Reekid: And it's vagina time! (Goes down the slide) Oh my god- oh my god! Ohh, NO NO NO! (Starts screeching)
Some of them laughed.
(Later)
Josh: Whoaaa YEEEAAH BOOOY! Oh shit! Oh god! I'M COMING, REEKID, I'M COMING! (Falls next to him)
(Next Mully jumps. Then Narrator.)
Narrator: Weeeeeeeee.
(Next clip)
Mully: Oh my...
Narrator: Ohhh my god.
Josh: Oh Jesus titty f****** Christ...
"Why don't parks like that exist in real life?!"
Narrator: Boys... this is gonna be the most exciting weekend of our lives.
(Later)
(It starts raining)
Josh: Oh, you gotta be shittin' me!
Narrator: Aww, it's raining?
Mully: F*** this shit, I'm goin home. F*** all y'all, f*** this trip. I'll be in the f****** car. F*** you.
(Josh sees a sad Narrator)
"That's pretty sad..."
"F in the chat." Nora said.
(Next clip)
(Everyone is freaking out)
Mully: DEFUSE IT! XTENDED, DEFUSE IT! DEFUSE IT! DEFUSE IT! DEFUSE IT! (Xtended blows up and also hits street light)
Some of them laughed a little.
(Next clip)
Josh: Get on the floor!
Mully: Reekid, come back!
Josh: Stop!
Mully: Get on the floor!
Josh: Git on the ground!
Mully: Get in the floor!
Josh: Git on the ground right now!
(Later)
(Mully hits Reekid)
Josh: Stop resisting! Stop resisting!
"Isn't child abuse funny?" Yang said.
Narrator: The hell's going on out here?
Mully: Oy, old man. This has nothing to do with you, alright?
Narrator: I'm taking- I'm taking photos with my iPad! You know what? You're live- I'm livestreaming. What're your badge numbers? Give me your badge numbers. Waddya got to say to that?
"Shoot him."
"Yeah, down with the Karens!" Nora said.
(They taze Narrator and Mully laughs.)
Some of them laughed.
(Next clip)
Josh: Woh- uh- oh! (throws the banana) Oh shit, he deflected my banana! Get back, I got a banana! And I know how to use it! (The monster falls by itself and Josh laughs)
Some of them laughed.
"I love funny enemy A.I.s." Ruby said.
(Later)
Josh: Plenty of fruit here, boys! (Hits the monster with a fruit. Throws another one.) Stop eating my goddamn projectiles!
(Later)
Josh: Oh shit! (The monster falls by itself again)
(Next clip)
Josh: Reekid, come here. I need to use you for buoyancy.
Reekid: No-!
Josh: I'm sorry, Reekid. I need you to keep me up! Shut up, you're making this harder than it has to be! Shut up! Shut up!
Reekid: (muffled screaming) (gets bitten by a shark)
Josh: OH MY GOD!
Some of them laughed.
"That scared me!" Blake said.
"There are sharks too?!" Jaune said.
Josh: Guys, help me! Help me, Reekid's done for! He's shark bait now! Guys, help me, seriously!
(Next clip)
Josh: Hang on. I think we need a k- key card. Oh my god, look how small the buttons are. They're the smallest buttons I've ever seen! Like some sorta keypad for ants. Lil Reekid ke- keypad. Sgoin on here, why're you so small, little mate? What's wrong there? (Mully starts laughing)
Sme of them were laughing a little.
"That dude was baby talking to a keypad." Yang said.
Josh: Alright, yeah let's go.
(Next clip)
Josh: I'm a lil bit thirsty, just gonna have lil dwink.
Narrator: Too much sugar can kill you. (A gun comes out the vending machine)
Mully: You tryin get my cans?
Some of them laughed a little.
Josh: Oh f***.
Mully: You tryin take my cans? Huh?
Josh: I'm sorry, bruh. I'm sorry.
Mully: Leave my cans alone!
(Next clip)
Mully: Bro, what the f*** is this?
Josh: Aw dude, VR has gone too far.
Mully: Where have you brought me?
Josh: It's my childhood, man!
(Later)
Josh: Look, it's Mario! Our friend, Mario! (Sees Mario zombie) (Mully shoots it)
(Next clip)
Mully: Oi Wozzo! Look how big this-
Wozzo: Whoaaaa!
Juicy: Oh my god, he's a f****** specimen!
"Check out those Minecraft gains!"
Mully: Ima- imagine how much he tore his mum...
Juicy: His poor, blocky mum.
Cray: Imagine this... coming out of the size of this, look. (They laugh) This comes out of a hole like that big.
Wozzo: Mummy?
Cray: I'm not your mother, mate! Piss off! (They laugh again)
Some of them laughed.
(Next clip)
Josh: Is that Reekids little brother?
Reekid's brother: Where am I?
Narrator: You ate Reekid's little brother! Hello there!
Reekid's brother: (giggle)
Some of them laughed because it's fucking adorable.
Narrator: Can we trade Reekid for him? He sounds adorable.
Reekid's brother: (giggle) How do I shoot? This trigger? (drops his gun) Am I shooting?
"Oh boy, who does that remind me of?"
"Please, stop." Ruby said.
Josh: I can't believe this is real. Here you go, lil buddy. Here's- here's your first gun. Aim it at the infidels.
Reekid's brother: Ooh, I sorry, I can't see very well in the game!
Josh: ...Look mate, have you ever played a videogame before?
Some of them laughed.
"Come on, he's just a little kid."
(Next clip)
Josh: Narrator, Narrator, Narrator... (turns into a can)
Narrator: Oh, oh, oh, I see. (turns into a can) Oh, I see whaty- oh, I see what you're doin. Oh, I see. Oh, I- oh yeah...
Mully: What the f*** are you c**** doing?
Josh: Hold still, hold still.
Narrator: Yeah? Okay, okay, yeah... (The game starts) Yo, this big ass man don't even know.
Josh: He don't even know. (Mully gets his shotgun)
Mully: You guys are startin to f****** scare me, dude.
Josh: Sksksksks.
Narrator: That's right, Mully. Just slide that sexy ass over here.
Some of them laughed.
"Oh, not that guy!" Jaune said.
"Why, he's one of the funniest." Yang said.
Narrator: Yo dumbass didn't even see me.
(Next clip)
(Josh kills SuccYaAuntie)
Cholla: Okay.
(Next clip)
Josh: Well, ya know what, while we're putting everything out on the table right now, since we're gonna die anyway, I think you censor your videos too much. You- don't have to censor 'shit'. It's not 1990 anymore, okay? People don't care about the word 'shit'. If I wanted to hear a beep every three seconds, I woulda kept my grandma plugged in! (Mully laughs)
Everyone was surprised by this and some of them laughed.
"Damn."
"That's too dark." Blake said.
(Next clip)
Narrator: Now, Josh, I'm not saying that your methods do not give prominent results, but... they- they- they're a little unorthodox.
Josh: That's what they said about sir Isaac Newton when he invented gravity, but now everyone uses gravity, so... yeah, where's your argument now?
Narrator: (laughs) Now everyone uses gravity...
"What were people using before gravity was invented?" Nora said.
"They were flying, obviously." Yang said.
(Next clip)
Josh: What's your name?
Mully: I'm Steve.
Josh: And who are you?
Mr_McDaddy: I'm Steve.
Josh: And who are you?
Panzer: Steve.
Smashing: Hey, is this the Steves anonymous group?
Josh: Wait, are you- so you're Steve?
(They all have a Steve argument until Josh shoots in the air to make them stop)
"Every player that uses the default skin ever."
Josh: Obviously, things are getting a little out of hand, here.
Mully: Can we just relax, Steves? Alright, we're all Steves here.
Josh: Hey, can I just say, out of all the Steves, you are by far the biggest f******?
Some of them laughed.
(Another Steve argument)
"There can be only one!" Nora said.
(Next clip)
Mully: What the f*** is this?
Narrator: Damnit, now I gotta fix the xerox, alright. (Pushes a key)
Josh: (moaning) Ooh yeah~.
Some of them laughed.
"Okay, I've seen everything now." Weiss said.
(Narrator presses another key)
Josh: (moaning) Ooh yeah~!
Narrator: Here comes the big one.
"Oh no!" Yang said while holding her laughter.
Josh: Load my paper tray, daddy, uwu~! Unjam my feed tray.
"Stop it!" Blake said while laughing.
Mully: I've had enough. (Starts shooting the xerox)
(Next clip)
Josh: What're you- no. Don't just- he's just belting his own pelvis with that rock. Don't put that there.
Reekid: Cock and ball torture. (Jacks off)
Josh: How old are you again?
"Physically or mentally?" Weiss said.
Mully: What did he say?
Josh: He said cock and ball torture. The internet is ruining the youth of today and this child here is proof. (They start laughing) There's a bird on your head. (Reekid hits his head in real life.) Congratulations, you just smacked yourself in the head. (Reekid laughs)
They all laughed.
"Wait, did he actually hit his head?" Pyrrha said.
(Last clip)
Mully: Josh? Are ya in here?
Josh: Ay, guys! Guys! What am I? What am I? I'm a mobile phone! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yang started laughing.
"That was kind of a weak ending." Jaune said.
"But it was funny nonetheless." Yang said.
"Alright, kids. It's timw for me to leave. I'll let you relax, because you have a big day tomorrow." Nova said.
"So, you really won't come to see us?" Ruby said.
"Well... I'll probably come at the finals. You know, the... singles?"
"Yeah, the singles are last." Yang said.
"I'll see what I can do. Ah! Before I leave...". All of a sudden, Nova then grabbed Blake and threw her out the window. Everyone was shocked.
"What the hell?!"
"Why would you do this?!" Weiss said.
"Hey, I wanted to end this gag. Goodbye." Nova said and then left.
"... At least it wasn't one of us." Nora said. His teammates agreed.
MEANWHILE
Ozpin was returning to his office, after putting the final touches for the festival. When the elevator doors opened, he saw his chair facing the opposite way. And that was strange, because he didn't leave it like that.
"Hello, Ozzy." Nova said, turning around like a James Bond villain.
"Hello, Mr Light. What brings you to my office?" Ozpin said.
"Nothing. Just to warn you."
"Warn me? About what?"
"I had a bad feeling. When I have that feeling, people and societies die. Something bad will happen soon. In your world. I just cqme to ask you... are you prepared for anything that will come?"
"... I don't know. But I have faith."
"Faith? For your good and the people here, I hope I'm wrong. Otherwise, I'll blame myself the most."
"Why yourself? If I remember correctly, you said that you don't want to involve with our fights."
"I'll blame myself because I knew what's going on and I didn't do anything about it. I hope the kids are ready for war."
And done! THE REACTIONS ARE OVER! The story is finally coming to an end. Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!