Chapter 20

When I left Bella's, I called Alice to see where her and Edward were. She told me that they'd went up to Seattle for the day, where it was still raining to shop, they wouldn't be home until later this evening. I knew Bella would be safe, so I went to hunt. Her latest dream was weighing heavily on my mind, the fierce need to keep her safe had intensified.

I knew that I'd been falling in love with Bella at break neck speed, the instinctual bond between us made it almost impossible for me to ignore her. But now, I was falling in love with her based on the merit of who she was. She somehow took everything that I hated about myself and lifted the weight of it all off of my shoulders. She made me feel like I belonged in a world that I'd long felt abandoned by. Alice had given me the knowledge and power to stop hating what I was when she showed up in that diner, but Bella, Bella had finally given me the power to love and accept it. After all, if it weren't for my second life, I'd never have met her, how couldn't I be thankful? Edward believed we were damned. Carlisle believed our choice in diet might absolve us of our damnation. I really never cared one way or the other. The first time I died, I came back as a vampire. Maybe next time I'd come back as a damn unicorn or something. Either way, from now on, I was going to enjoy this life and appreciate every second of it, thanks to Bella.

I came home to an empty house and headed up to take a shower. After I got dressed, I fidgeted a bit trying to figure out what to do with my next few hours of free time. It was 5:00pm, and the clouds had covered the sky again. I wondered what Bella was doing and I thought for a moment about calling her, just to hear her voice. I missed her already, but I didn't know how she'd feel about me calling when her father was home. I threw on my boots and decided to head to Port Angeles, where the nearest Walmart was. I wanted to get her a cell phone. I wanted to make sure that she could get a hold of me anytime, anywhere. There were bound to be moments that I couldn't be by her side. Plus, I figured for the occasion when her father was home, she wouldn't have to feel embarrassed calling me on the corded phone in her kitchen. We could even text so that it would be more discreet. Being able to watch technology advance was pretty astonishing, sending a text was relatively unheard of ten years ago, but now my family relied on them heavily.

The store was a little more crowded than I'd been hoping for. I went back to the electronics and cloaked myself in a blanket of indifference so that none of the employees would wander over, assuming I needed assistance. I grabbed the newest Nokia, a stack of minute cards, and went to stand in line. The line was moving slowly, I wondered for a moment why everyone seemed to be treating a trip to this department store like it was a fun Saturday night activity. I held my breath throughout the entire experience and was thankful that the deer I'd had earlier was keeping my control in check. Thoughts of Bella, and being able to feel her emotions soon, thankfully made the twenty minute wait in line pass quicker. When I got back to my truck I ripped off the plastic packaging around the cell phone and programmed it, loading it up with the cards I'd bought. I stuck it in my jacket pocket with my own and headed back towards Forks.

Tomorrow was Sunday and I realized all the time I'd spent with Bella had been at her house. We couldn't go to my place, for obvious reasons. So, I spent the drive home trying to think of something we could go to do together, if she wanted to that is. I didn't spend a lot of time outside of school submitting myself to crowds of humans. It wasn't that I couldn't, but why make myself uncomfortable? I used to go to the occasional book store, or go see a movie once in a while. But now, I could order books on Amazon and rent movies to watch at home from Blockbuster. Though, now that I was going to be spending time with Bella, I thought maybe we could try to do some of those things together, she did help my control after all. I thought a good place to start with would be a diner. There was one in town, and at least I knew the food would mask the smell of anyone inside and Bella would help keep me calm. I decided to see if she'd allow me to take her to lunch tomorrow. I grew a bit nervous at the thought of asking her on an official date.

When I got home from Port Angeles, everyone was home besides Edward and Alice, it was 8:00pm. I greeted my family and headed up to my room to put Bella's phone on the charger for a while. I decided I was going to leave it in her truck tonight, provided it was unlocked. I guess I'd have to risk it and call her on her home phone in the morning to tell her it was there, and to ask her out for lunch. I forced myself to try and relax for a couple of hours before I headed over. When 11:00pm rolled around, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my jacket and the phone from the charger and headed off to Bella's.

I slowed my pace as I neared her backyard. Her father was already asleep and Bella was feeling . . . anticipation, nerves, excitement, thrill and desire. I became curious as I walked to the edge of the tree line. Her window was wide open. It was still winter, the middle of January, surely she wasn't hot or trying to let a breeze in. I sent her a flicker of curiosity and waited to see if she'd come to the window. Instead, I felt her surprise at feeling the foreign emotion. Then, she let me feel the confidence of her decision, along with a slight bit of mischief and amusement. I took a deep breath and quietly climbed up to her window with ease. I popped my head in at first and Bella gasped.

"Shhh…" I whispered, making the gesture to accompany the sound, grinning. I was rewarded with a beautiful smile and she motioned for me to come in. I closed the window behind me as quietly as I could, it still creaked a bit and I felt Bella's panic as she looked towards the door. After a moment, it subsided.

I turned towards Bella and observed her room for a moment. It lacked most of her personality since she'd just moved in, but some how still seemed to fit her perfectly. I wasn't sure what to do at first. It felt so scandalous being in here with her, where she slept, while her father was just down the hall. Though, it was also a bit exciting, I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't imagined this very scenario the past couple of nights that I'd been out back. I looked at Bella nervously, she bit her lip and patted the space in front of her, motioning for me to come sit down on her bed. I tried to push my nerves down as I went to join her. She was sitting up at the head of her bed with her knees tucked up to her chest. I kicked my shoes off and sat down at the end, so that we were facing each other, careful to leave a bit of space between us.

"Hi." She said, swallowing nervously and blushing.

"Well hello." I said giving her a charming grin.

"I just figured if you could flip a car, break a tree, and run at super lightning speed, you'd be able to get up here somehow."

"Looks like you were right."

"I took a nap earlier, so I might be able to stay up for a while. I don't know, I guess I wanted more than just being able to feel you from out in the woods. I needed to see you." She re-positioned herself to get more comfortable, and I noticed a bandage on her left hand. Then, I realized that she wasn't wearing her sling. She wasn't in pain from the shoulder, so I decided not to be overbearing and leave it be. I'd prefer if she listened to Carlisle, but I could see how the sling would be irritating. Her hand made me curious though, how had she managed to injure herself again in the time I'd been gone?

"Bella, what happened?" I asked, nodding to her hand. Her face turned red, she rolled her eyes and groaned.

"I burnt it earlier taking lunch out of the oven. I think Charlie's officially gonna fire me from kitchen duty." she chuckled.

"May I see?" She nodded and held her hand out to me. I removed the bandage and examined it for a moment. She had quite a few blisters, but nothing too severe. I reluctantly let go of her hand. "It looks like it'll be fine. Thank you for letting me check."

"Um, sure, no problem. I should probably go wash it off and replace the bandage and burn cream now that it's all blistered up." She said eyeing the door, I could feel her hesitation.

"Why don't you go wash it off and bring me the ointment and gauze, I'll wrap it up for you." She made an odd face and hesitated for a moment.

"Are you sure? It's kind of gross." She said, wrinkling her nose.

"Bella, it's fine, nothing about you is gross." I grinned. She smiled and rolled her eyes before going to clean up her hand. She brought back the supplies and sat back down in front of me. I squeezed out some of the cream and chilled it by rubbing it around in my fingers first before applying it.

"Oh my gosh, that feels so good, thank you! You're better than ice!" she said, closing her eyes. I let my cold fingers soothe her burn for a few minutes before wrapping it up.

"Good as new. Hey, I have something for you." I told her, smiling. I felt her panic and gave her a curious look. The initial panic left, but it was replaced with nerves and worry. I was a little confused as I pulled the phone and charger out of my pocket. Bella's face turned red and her eyebrows scrunched together as I tried to hand it to her. "You don't like it?" I asked.

"No, I mean, I just . . . this looks expensive. I can't take this." I thought back to the day of her injury. She acted so undeserving and made me insist before she'd taken the drawing. It seemed Bella had a problem with accepting gifts. I got nervous suddenly, thinking about asking her on the date tomorrow. I decided to approach giving her the cell phone a bit differently.

"If you don't want it, that's okay. It was honestly a bit of a selfish gift, it would just help give me peace of mind to know that you can reach me anytime anywhere." I felt Bella's emotions wavering and fought a grin.

"Well. . . um, I guess if it'll make you feel better." She bit her lip. I slowly tried handing her the phone again.

"It really would Bella." I smiled. She took it hesitantly and opened it. "My number is programmed as the first speed dial. So, all you have to do is dial '1' and hit send, it'll call me right away. You can also use this to text or call me if your father is home and you don't want to talk downstairs." I said winking, waiting for her to blush. It worked like a charm.

"Thank you, this really is thoughtful. I guess if I'm being honest, it makes me feel better too." I felt her gratitude as she closed the phone and set it on her nightstand. She still felt a little embarrassed over the gift but I was glad I could at least get her to take it. We sat there for a moment, a bit awkwardly before she turned to grab something from behind her. She pulled out a notebook from under her pillow. "I started a dream journal." She told me, handing it to me. I skimmed through the entries from the last 2 nights. She'd written them down in a bit more detail than she'd relayed them to me in. I hadn't even put two and two together that she'd knew my skin would react in some way to the sunlight. She'd described it as glowing, which wasn't all the way accurate, but still curiously close.

"Bella, do you realize that you'd described my skin as glowing in your first dream? Before you even knew my skin reacted to the sunlight?"

"I didn't actually. That's pretty interesting." She said, raising her eyebrows and shrugging. I thought it was more than interesting, Bella's unconscious mind was an enigma. It was almost a little unnerving, if this was anything like Alice's gift, we really needed to pay attention to what the dreams were trying to tell her. I was glad she'd started a journal, I hoped she'd share with me next time she made an entry. I wondered for a moment if this sixth sense would carry over and become stronger if she ever became a vampire. Vampires couldn't dream, so I wondered if the ability would get lost in translation, or show it's self in a different way. Carlisle had always said that he believed our gifts had something to do with traits we carried over from our human life. I smiled at Bella and decided to tuck the thought away for now and tried to prepare myself for her reaction to my next offer.

"I wanted to ask you something . . . Um, Bella, what are you doing tomorrow?" I felt her nerves, but she tried to play it off.

"Nothing really, Charlie works so he'll be gone. I didn't really have any plans."

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me to lunch, for a date."

"But you don't eat . . ."

"But you do . . ."

"Okay - well, did you have somewhere in mind.?" She asked hesitantly after a moment.

"Well, there's a diner in town, I'm not sure if you're familiar. . ." I trailed off, feeling Bella's anxiety and worry. "Unless you don't want to . . ." I was starting to wonder if my idea of dating had possibly got corrupted somewhere along the way from all the teen comedies that Rosalie had made Emmett and I watch over the last couple of decades.

"Um, well, I would love to hang out . . . and It would be nice to get out of the house . . . it's just - my dad. He's a regular there. We actually had takeout from there earlier tonight and I don't know if I'm ready to discuss our um . . . friendship with him yet." She held up air quotes at the word 'friendship' and I had to smile. Now I could understand her hesitation. She wanted to spend time with me, she just didn't want her father to know yet, I could understand why. I wasn't quite sure if I wanted the chief of police to know that I was dating his daughter yet either.

"Well, I was in Port Angeles earlier, I saw a diner out that way. Would it make you feel better if we went somewhere farther away where your father wouldn't have to hear about it?" She bit her lip and thought it over for a moment. I felt guilt and worry creep up on her.

"I'll have to think of something to tell Charlie - er - my dad, but that could work. Can we be back here by like 4:00 pm?"

"Of course, whatever you need."

"Can I ask why it has to be a diner?" She raised an eyebrow.

"How about I explain tomorrow?" I asked, giving her an apologetic look. I could feel that she was starting to get tired and I didn't want to keep her up. She didn't seem completely satisfied with my response, but she nodded anyway before yawning.

"Bella, if you're tired why don't you go to sleep." I could feel that she didn't want to. She blinked a few times and tried to hold her eyes open wider.

"I'm fine . . ." she said through another yawn.

"The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you can get up. I can come by as early as you want."

"I don't want you to leave yet, but I guess you're probably tired too." I could feel her disappointment.

"Bella, I don't sleep." I said with a smirk. I guess there was still a lot I hadn't explained to her.

"Really?! Like . . . ever?" Her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Not in the last 142 years." I told her with a chuckle. Her eyes widened.

"Wow, that's . . . I just can't even imagine. What do you do all night?" She made a face as if her brain couldn't compute my statement.

"I read, draw, listen to music, hang out with my family . . . I don't know, whatever occupies the time. Sometimes I wish that I could still sleep. I miss the definite end to the day, it kind of feels like I've just been living one long endless day for a very long time. Though, I do enjoy not getting tired. I like being able to run as long as I want without ever losing energy, being able to continue a project through the night if I want. Plus, now I like being able to help you fall asleep."

"Well, I like it too." She blushed before yawning again.

"So, I mean really, I don't have to leave if you don't want me to. I can stay here while you sleep and be out of here by the time your father wakes up if you'd like me to stay." Her mood perked back up and then I felt a pang of guilt and concern from her.

"Won't you be bored?" She asked.

"I'd be much more bored at home sitting around wondering how you were sleeping." I told her. She smiled and for a moment I could feel her excitement and adrenaline working against her fatigue.

"Okay, thank you Jasper." She said, pulling down her purple comforter. She hesitated for a moment, her nerves bubbling up, before scooting over to give me enough room to come lay beside her. God, how I wanted to oblige her offer, to lay beside her and hold her in my arms all night. I just didn't want to have to leave sooner than expected if my control became an issue, I wanted to be able to keep my promise and stay with her all night. Inhaling her scent, feeling her heart beat so closely, and for hours on end was going to have to be something I worked towards. I felt an ache in my throat at the thought.

"Bella, please don't take this the wrong way. There's nothing more that I would love then to come lay beside you, but I don't think that's the best idea just yet. My control has been good so far in your presence, but if it became overwhelming I'd have to leave immediately. Would you mind if we just took things slow . . . and we can work up to it?" I felt her disappointment and a fleeting feeling of rejection before her understanding and selflessness took over.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I am, willing to try something else if you'd be trusting enough of me." I told her nervously. I'd been wanting to do this since this morning, really since the first moment I saw her. As long as we kept it brief, I was fairly certain I could handle it.

"Okay . . . I trust you." she said, taking a deep breath. I felt her heart rate pick up.

I closed the gap between us and looked into her eyes. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't terrified. I brought my hand up and caressed her cheek before moving it to cradle her head gently. She closed her eyes and shivered, smiling. When she looked back up at me the room began to buzz. I slowly leaned in and touched my lips to Bella's. It suddenly felt like my entire body was an exposed wire, sparks of electricity shooting from every limb. Her scent was swirling around me and testing the predator. It was warm, decadent, and inviting. It made my throat burn and ache, but I invited it, embraced it. I'd deal with far worse to be able to be close to her. I focused on keeping her safe and just enjoying the moment of bliss. Bella lifted herself up on her knees to get closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I almost came undone, it felt like we were melting together. I could feel that neither of us wanted to stop, we both craved more of each other. However, Bella had stopped breathing and I knew I'd pushed myself enough for the night. I slowly pulled my face away from hers, allowing myself to place one final gentle kiss on her lips. I smiled, and Bella blinked and slowly sunk back onto the bed. I'd never felt anything so powerful, it was like our special energy had intensified ten fold when our lips touched.

"Breathe Bella." I reminded her, chuckling.

"Whoops . . . Wow." She said, touching her lips and scrunching her eyebrows together.

"Wow indeed. Bella, you need to get some sleep." I said, after swallowing a mouth full of venom.

"How am I supposed to sleep now?" She asked shaking her head, trying to gain back her senses. I cleared my throat and raised my eyebrows. "Oh, duh." She said, rolling her eyes and grinning. She laid down and I pulled the covers up over her. I kissed her forehead and went to take a seat in a rocking chair that was sitting in the corner of her room. I gradually started pumping calm, tranquil, lethargic energy into the room.

"Good night Bella, sweet dreams."