Ch 17
Four years later.
"We are going to be late." Kris came running down the stairs while pulling her work jacket on.
"Why do we have to follow our 'on time' rule again?"
"Because we are the co-owners and it's good to set an example for our employees."
"Oh, that; fine, I'm ready." She had darkened her hair, so it was more brown than auburn. She had her glasses on today.
I had a car and a cellphone now. I gave in after six months of working full time after college, but we still carpooled certain days. We lived in the house we dreamed about. We both owned it. I had a bedroom in the basement, where there were no windows. In addition, there was a guest room and an area for a yoga studio and gym equipment. The basement main area had a huge green curved couch. It was the comfiest thing ever. Kris had the upstairs, with four windows in her room. She loved it. There was also a side area upstairs that could've had a piano if one of us played it, or a pool table, etc. It had changed its purpose about five times now. Right now it held bookcases of books and a comfy reading chair.
We each had our own home office on the main floor, near each other. When I originally wanted it in the basement, Kris correctly argued I'd never see the light of day otherwise. It was better this way, since we could communicate without yelling. We had turned them from kids bedrooms to offices over time. We had an open floor plan in which the kitchen, dining and living room were all attached. There were plenty of storage closets. Outside we had a little vegetable and herb garden in the backyard, and we discovered that I had no green thumb, while Kris had two. But I was awesome at weeding and mowing.
We had a shed with my graduation present bow, arrows, and targets in it. Now that I had a better instrument, I had done better in the last state competition and placed fifth. I hadn't made it to a higher level yet, but I was practicing. Kris dictated what the yard looked like. I had come to know I didn't care as much about the outside as I did inside. It was a great arrangement and I loved this house to pieces.
Neither of us had much luck dating. Kris dated someone for a month and a half, and she even called him her boyfriend, which was a first. He panicked when she said what she did for a living and ran off. It was odd. I went on two dates each year "to not get rusty," as Kris put it, while Kris had me vet her dates. Sometimes she went back to old patterns and this way she wouldn't date anyone untoward or cruel. Sometimes she vetoed me, which was fine.
I tried to date, really I did. I wanted to date. I even agreed once to a blind date. I was so very glad he wasn't a vampire. A few of my dates became friends. Sometimes I was worried I wouldn't be compatible with anyone.
In reaction to my dating famine, I put in many hours at the office. On an average week I put in from 60-70 hours, either from the office and/or the home office. The amount of work was astronomical and never ending but I loved it, even on the most tiring days. We were co-presidents, and had vastly different duties. I was in charge of marketing and the computer building and repair department, while Kris was in charge of finance and customer service. We met with clients together and alone, and Kris had used her past ability of 'impressing' people, but in a positive spin. She could deal with any irrationally angry client and they would leave smiling.
Our first client had come by recently to see our new office building and whistled.
"I knew when I first saw you both, you'd make it. Do I know how to pick them or what?"
I was proud of our successes, but problems don't end when there is a cash flow. A friend taught me the phrase "higher problems." Today I had one of those problems.
"Ms. Swan, your appointment is here."
"Thanks, Beth." I mentally checked my outfit. It was impeccable thanks to the personal shopper/stylist I hired. I desperately needed help and guidance with the clothing. I could handle the hair and makeup, but not the rest. As I walked down the hall, I heard Kris's voice. I didn't know she would be joining us. I was three steps in when I saw who was waiting at the table.
"NO!" I said firmly. I had meant to turn right around and leave when Kris blocked my way with her hands in the air, clearly expecting my reaction.
"Wait wait wait. You haven't read the proposal."
"I don't need to, now that I know who the owner is." My tone grew in stubborn frustration.
"That was a long time ago. This could go well for both of us."
"I'll have more fun getting food poisoning again."
"We've been talking for a few minutes, and he seems—" I cut her off. My temper was nearly unleashed.
"I'd rather be swept away in a hurricane than talk to Trevor Fink." Trevor and his perfectly coiffed hair. He had flinched in the background.
"That's a little harsh…" At this she let me pass, but followed me as we discussed. The last restraint broke.
"NO! it isn't. Don't you remember what he said to me the last time we had talked? Each glib word was a knife attack, carefully spoken in casual arrogance to make me upset and flustered. How about the time he deliberately didn't turn in our assignment and Peters nearly failed me and almost kicked me out of the program? He was always harsher on women than men."
"Well, you didn't fail..." Kris replied. Trevor didn't know this. He had his hands on the sides of his head, knowing that this wasn't going well for him.
"Only on a technicality. Why!—" I was yelling loudly. I became aware that people were looking skittish around us. "Why are you defending him?" I whisper-yelled as I stopped to stare at her and threw down my arms in my tantrum. The rest of the employees had scattered to their offices. We weren't exactly being subtle. Any past fights had been quiet and private, and today was anything but that.
I slammed my door shut. Kris bravely entered and kept the "conversation" going.
"I'm not," Kris stated. "He was a jerk, but that was years ago." When I didn't respond she continued. "I remember an outright jerk who you forgave once before."
I looked at her and sighed. "That's different."
"Is it?" her voice echoed clearly. "You wrote in a letter 'I know you are dealing with something and I want to help'. Couldn't he be going through something also?"
"I really hate it when you're so logical," I groaned.
She rolled her eyes. "One of us needs to be. His proposal is good. He's in a tough spot in life, but he has a skill we need."
I sighed and sat down, exhausted. "I'll read it," I spoke resignedly. I hated that I was the one in the wrong here.
"That's all I ask." Kris looked satisfied.
"If he says one rude, derogatory, or insulting thing, he's out. Out of the building and off this project — IF I say yes." I was not going to put up with that, not here.
"We can add a behavior clause to the contract."
"You'd make a good lawyer." I teased. It wasn't the first time I had thought of that.
"Bite your tongue." Kris replied sternly. I let out a laugh. My fire was gone.
My dad had visited me at least once a year and I would fly him out, now that I had the money for it. I hadn't been back to Forks since I left for New Mexico. I couldn't — there were so many reminders of my dark cloudy days. Those days when I was a quarter of a person, not even a half. I was whole again after some time.
"Dad, that's great! Congratulations."
"Will you come?"
"Oh. I don't know. Maybe." I replied hesitantly.
"There is a banquet and everything for this award. I get to invite someone and I want to invite you."
"Dad—." I had meant to say more but couldn't find the words. He sounded so hopeful and unusually excited for his usual self. I couldn't break his heart again. I had already done so twice before, or was it three times? "I'll think about it, I promise." And I would. This was the biggest thing to happen to him since he got married and had a child — me.
"Thanks, Kiddo."
In the end, I agreed to go, with the stipulations I wouldn't stay in my old bedroom and it would only be for one day. Kris had kindly offered to go with me and I almost said yes. Before I could reply, I got the distinct internal 'NO, it would be a bad idea' answer. That town was supernatural central and she didn't need that. The Cullen's would eventually return there in a few decades or so. They were creatures of habits.
Knowledge of that world was my curse to bear. It would be my burden alone to be there once more. I needed to be there for my father and I'd have to do it on my own. I wouldn't be surprised if that was why Renee felt a need to escape also, subconsciously.
"Thanks K, but one of us should be at work."
"You will be gone for two days, it isn't that long."
"I wouldn't be going at all, but this police award is a once in a lifetime honor."
"Okay, but you can call me for moral support; anytime." I hugged her for a moment before I continued packing.
"There is an unmistakable chance I will need that. Do these work?" Holding up some clothes.
"Isn't that a little warm for the season?"
"It's always colder there," I informed her.
She hummed before looking at the clothes more closely. "Then yes, it's great."
I double checked everything ten times, eight more times than I needed to. I was shaking because I was going to face one of my darkest demons. Fortunately, the other one from Phoenix was long gone and healed.
"Good luck, M."
"Hopefully it will go by fast," I called out as I walked to the waiting cab.
"Tell Charlie I said hi." She yelled from the house. She had gotten close to him since graduation. Charlie was more than happy to have another daughter, and it warmed my heart.
At the hotel room in Port Angeles, I was laying in bed. I played the images of myself from 8 years ago. I had a small tan, hazel eyes, and I had experimented with my hair color, with a variety of light browns and blondes. I found last year what I loved. I had part natural brown color with two shades of darker blonde. The mixture looked natural overall and It made me feel beautiful. I could do this, right?
In my dream I had walked all the way down a path before I was ejected painfully back to the beginning. I walked down another path after I had picked myself up. Both were beautiful in their own right. The first was mountains with thick forestry. The other was palm trees and beautiful red rocks. Every color was more vibrant than anywhere else on earth. After a brief walk, I came to another fork where I couldn't see into either path. As I paused I heard the herb lady's voice talk to me, but as I looked around I saw no one.
"Hello dearie, I see there are new choices to make."
"Do you know what's on each path?"
"I can't tell you that my dear, we all must discover that for ourselves."
"Any hints?" I yelled. I was desperate for guidance, because they each felt so different. "Anything at all? I need help."
"You can ask some questions."
"Yes, please!"
"First, just watch."
She played me an image of when Jake and I were walking on the beach eons ago. He was telling me about the old ones and the myths of his tribal people. "It's just a silly story," he said.
Then the scene shifted to my previous dream of when Edward the vampire and a wolf pushed me off a cliff.
Suddenly I heard my dream guide say "I'm allowed to show this?" She was questioning someone. I almost laughed but I was distracted by being thrown into a different memory of another world's Bella, who wasn't me. She was taller and had super long dark brown hair. It was a blurry echo of a lost memory. I didn't see who she was talking to. He was blocked out. Thanks, dream guide...
"What's imprinting?" I asked.
"It's like a soul mate for life, except we have no choice."
"How do you imprint?"
"I don't know. They won't tell me."
"Have you ever been imprinted before?"
"You'd know if I had."
The last image was of blank faced men and women walking and turning into wolves once they entered the forest. When they come out in human form again, most had met a loved one.. imprintees? The vision in my dream vanished and I was at the fork again. I was confused and dizzy. The herb lady's voice was silent for a moment.
Then her voice echoed as if there were speakers everywhere. "You need to ask the right question, dearie."
"One of these paths…is imprinting? Isn't it?"
"Yes."
"What's the other path?"
"An optional future." I groaned at her evasive answer. "You're more bold than you were. It's good to see."
"Thanks." I replied, bewildered by the random compliment from the herb lady who was also a part-time dream guide, apparently. My life was weird. Who was she? I shook my head at the mysteriousness of her and her gift.
I paused and looked at each. "Is there a possible marriage in each path?"
"It's a good possibility. You get one more question." I sighed but cheered at the positive but vague answer. Lets see, one path is werewolves..and the other? I received no reply.
I spoke again. "Is one path a normal human life?" My words reminded me of another thought. "Or is it a continuation of my current life?"
"Correct and yes. I always knew you were a clever one. What you decide tonight will dictate your path." Oh, the pressure. I thought of my wonderful life. I had Kris, who is my best friend and sister. I had an amazing house and business, and my national archery competition was happening in a few weeks. I don't know if I knew any wolves personally…but soul mates for life sounded permanent. It was tempting. Two soul's guaranteed to match up, no question. It sounded good, magical even. I then pictured my life with nothing I loved in it and another plastic bubble around me. No more rock climbing, zip lining, canoeing, camping, and more. I needed my freedom. Most importantly the possibility of no Kris. I couldn't imagine my life without her presence and I couldn't leave her alone. Charlie and I were her only family now. I pictured a kind human husband, a pregnant me cooking while kids covered in jam were drawing on the floor with permanent markers.
I knew what to do. But what was I supposed to do next? I chose an action, hoping it was the right one.
"I choose a normal human life," I spoke at normal volume but the ground shook at the echo, I felt steady on my feet despite the shifting. I was right. Just then road block signs appeared. I put it on the supernatural path where shadows of transitioning wolves/humans walked across. This wouldn't be my life. I didn't know what was ahead. Lyrics from a song I heard in college entered my mind "When we started walking, the paths started moving. These paths seem lovelier than the destination. Come, let's get lost. Let's get lost somewhere. Come let's walk for miles without knowing our destination". After all, I've had a great time so far.
As soon as I put the roadblock and signs down I turned the other path and took several steps on it. I heard a much quieter voice from my dream guide, spoken directly in my ears, "Don't look anyone in the eyes tomorrow."
The dream faded as I woke up shaky and sweaty. It was 4:30 am. I decided to just stay awake and write my dream down in my journal. Maybe it would connect some pieces. The herb lady was amazing; what a gift. I should thank her when I get home. I came prepared with a mental image to help me out. Superheroes can go in the middle of emotional turmoil and come unscathed. I could too.