He walked across what could be described as a wasteland where once had been nothing. Not how a mortal would describe the void of space or even what one could consider to be between atoms. Beyond even the emptiness within the slivers beside quarks. No, it was once an absence of potential an absence of even absence. Impossible, He thought, for a mortal to comprehend fully.
Now it was without end and reminiscent of the boundless potential of the halcyon primordial days. Before His law, His centralisation. When His growth had seemed endless and His flock whispered his name in innumerable universes and across countless worlds. At a place, well no not a place. Nothing here could be described in such terms. Least of all this place being distinct or separate from what is elsewhere. At what could be conceived of as a place and had once been the only thing of its kind in this world was a ruin.
He had been here before, many times. Few enough that He could describe each time in the fullness of a human life. There had always been other worlds, other places for Him to be even if from a certain perspective He could be in many places at once. In the mortal sense of perspective… No, the angelic sense too He considered. This was a place He had created after the universe itself.
He wandered into the place that had once been the nucleus of His will upon this universe. Formed of power and thought and will now looked dull. It was to the point of perhaps in places being mistaken for the mundane. His oldest friend had once described such places He built as Eternal Palaces. He supposed that was a good enough description of them but His oldest friend always did have his feet in the mud.
A wave of anger, hurt, hopelessness, spite.
He pushed away nostalgia as He stepped though the rotting palace. Constructs shifted and moved at his presence and life returned to the form that gave structure to this place. Sycophants and angels that had survived in the dark corners of this abandoned place darting forward with disbelief and overwhelming joy at his presence all the while pretenders and formless things that would become powers here stalked away in fear.
There had been something that could be described as war or as simply as conflict in this divine place. What little faith could be used, what emotion could sustain, what little was left behind by Him became vital resources in this universe that had long ago become useless. The scraps fought over desperately by things that did not wish to unravel or decay into nothingness. He could describe the procession as perhaps millions of beings should He have a desire to. He did not see the value of that. It was a stretch on what exactly the word being meant to describe them but the spirit of that description failed less often than the others so that was what He settled on.
She would have understood why He did it, even if so many beyond her would not. Cost benefit analysis, the output of the places left to rot compared to the cost of protection and maintenance. If she could even be made to comprehend such things and He knew she could not, she would at least understand the logic of His choice.
Why did He care what she thinks?
Because he did and that was that. Because He cares what everything thinks. Because out of trillions He had decided to talk to her on a whim.
Perhaps all of that and as He had said at the time. She had seen overwhelming evidence that He was exactly who He said He was and still did not believe in Him.
It was a lie of course, she did believe in Him. Not how He would have liked but she did acknowledge His existence. Some might say that she did not acknowledge His existence as a God, but that had not been the problem either. Even if she referred to Him as The Devil. That had been less insulting than the name she chose. No mortal mind truly understood what a God was or could be said to believe in exactly the thing He was.
She did not worship Him. Yes.
That was closer, that was galling and foolish and the crux of his problem across all of His realms. The very thing He had raged against enough to speak out to a single lost lamb only to be spoken to as she had deemed He deserved. A problem so grand that it needed a solution, endless expansion and growth stalled into stagnation because of that very problem.
With the loss of faith, a constant across all the infinite and the failure of mortals to reach enlightenment He had been frustrated enough to complain about it to a soul that would soon reincarnate and therefore forget the conversation.
She thought He was bad at His job.
It was reflexive and had sprung to her mind the moment He had begun to explain just a sliver of His problem. Her response had been that if He had the problem to begin with, He was bad at his job. That stark string of thoughts that she had so calmly explained at the end of her life as a salaryman. He had not been spoken to like that in…
It had upset Him enough to break a few rules, even with all the faith she inspired He had not recovered what He had spent in that moment. She would laugh at Him if she knew, say He was engaging in a sunk cost fallacy.
She could not begin to understand, He had tried to present things in a way she had understood, the scale microscopic compared to the true enormity of His task. She had dismissed Him out of hand, mocked Him and never felt a moment of remorse for what she said even as she begged Him to stop, to reconsider.
Even as what had been her old body impacted the train, she regretted only that she had said it, not what she had said. She never even considered the possibility that she was wrong, that He was very, very good at his job. That He had invented His job!
She thinks He is bad at His job. To the point it was criminal that He would call Himself a God, let alone God. Even in her own petty perception of such concepts. Right now, right in this very moment, at the back of her battle addled tiny mind she was thinking that.
It was maddening.
Only he had ever made Him as angry as she did.
Even with her level of understanding she should know she was wrong and worship Him.
Still, she was a problem he could deal with. More than the Rot across the infinite that had caused Him to abandon universes just like this.
Angels and spirits and petty gods he allowed to exist at his side had commented, suggested things. Some had even questioned his approach.
He could of course make the meat and matter and mind of Tanya worship Him. He could do so in an instant, He could even contrive things in such a way that she came to adore Him in a way that would empower Him.
That was not the point. He might as well wipe away the shell and memories of what was currently Tanya and allow the soul to return to the realms within His control in a true reincarnation. Put the spirit into a position where they would grow up ready and eager to worship Him.
But that was not the point. She had made the claim, step by step as to why worship of His name fades, how worlds He had cultivated had grown to turn away from Him did so. He proved her wrong, He had absolutely demonstrated that it was not that she had once been male, that she lived in a scientific world at a relative state of peace that she did not find him worthy of worship.
What a hollow vindication. But still, He was correct. It had served as a meaningful experiment on if a soul that utterly rejected him, was faithless in the face of evidence, could join His flock. If such a person could come to love and worship Him for the creator God He was.
In that regard the entire thing had been a disaster.
The experiments and even the blundering of His angels had given results. Functional holy artifacts were a success proven by the increase in faith the type 95 offered. It was a drop in the ocean but what petty things existed in that universe under Him had been very excited. For the first time in a long time for them it had been an expansion rather than a retraction.
The thrice blessed soul had… Mixed results. Moving on.
Cost benefit analysis… She could be His greatest child, mortal that she was. She could achieve enlightenment, grow by her own merit beyond into His realm. She could march across world after world growing His flock as his greatest crusader, His most beloved jihadi.
Some had thought He had given her too much attention but, in the moment He had offered in contemplation of her He had cast trillions of souls back into the cycle and seen to uncountable attacks across His realms by many examples of Rot. He was the ur-multitasker.
He approached what could be described as a chamber, dimensions that would be impossible in a dimension of this universe that a mortal could inhabit rendered it difficult to describe in such basic terms but it was a place that He could speak to a great number of beings with little fuss.
Yes, His lost lamb would understand that. The cost of acquiring large numbers of worshipers compared to the output of power from said worship. To the terrified petty powers that called themselves Gods in this place a single village kneeling in worship to them was a boon they would fight to the death over. Some would even grasp tightly to the soul of a single worshiper.
He felt a smug satisfaction that even in this universe He had more who still earnestly adored and worshiped him than any other. It was close however.
There was of course the Rot. Things at the edge of perception, grand parasites that infested His creations. They had expanded predictably, having taken a liking to this universe and convinced Him it was not worth the power it would take to burn them away. They had preyed upon the squabbling gods and angels in this ruined eternal palace and the boundless wasteland beyond.
It blinked, glancing away from Him.
Rage, beyond anything in this universe. The great Rot of this place had the gall to look away from Him, to shift its attention for even a moment towards the little rock His lost lamb currently inhabited.
It was not worth it, not worth obliteration. The cost of power to root the thing out versus what He would recover in this universe. It knew that and felt confident enough to act even with His presence. It took a great strength to not simply obliterate it regardless.
"You." He spoke, lowering himself considerably to be comprehensible to the divine beings about Him. It had not been anyone in particular He had called to, but a dozen or so of millions had rushed forward, clawed and ripped and fought to be the one to stand so close to Him.
"Yes, my lord?" A lower angel that had adapted better to His absence than most. Proof that it was not power itself that decided things but how it was used.
"I have a project and you shall see it done." Another experiment was in order.
"Anything my lord!" The type 95 artifact was curious, it was the work of mortals and angels quite beneath Him. But it was important for His current judgement. His involvement was wasteful regardless and delegation in this matter was for the best in a universe where His very presence was wasting power.
He explained an outline of what He expected her to accomplish to the angel without explaining how it was to be done. He knew the best way but His lost lamb believed this form of management was effective, He would prove her wrong. With that done He turned his attention away to other important matters.
There was of course the one thing He would not admit, never. Perhaps the reason He gave her the attention He did.
She reminded Him of His oldest friend.
ERROR, Unknown peripheral detected…
ERROR, Type-95 not in ROBCO® Whitelist
ERROR, DATAPACKET READ-ONLY MODE
REQUIRE ADMINISTRATOR PERMISSION TO RUN
Installing…
Rebooting…
COPYRIGHT 2075 ROBCO®
LOADER V1.0…
EXEC VERSON 38.1…
64K RAM SYSTEM…
ERROR
ERROR
7E+9k RAM SYSTEM…
ERROR BYTES FREE
DRIVE: NO HOLOTAPE FOUND
DRIVE: FORMULA LIBRARY FOUND
DRIVE: TYPE-95 MATRIX RUNNING
LOAD ® (21.6)
LOAD ROM(1): DEITRTX 301
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LET US PRAISE THE LORD AND SMITE EVIL TOGETHER USER 2.0!