As always, thank you to my pre-reader purpleC305 and to Ninkita, my beta extraordinaire.
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
ooo
EPOV
"We need to talk," I whisper into Izi's ear. My hand hovers above her shoulder but I pull it back quickly when Izi shies away from me, like my touch would burn her. At first she looks like she's about to cry, her lips quiver and her eyes are tightly shut.
After a few seconds she inhales and exhales slowly before she squares her suntanned shoulders and turns her head to me. Her eyes show disappointment and defeat mixed with determination. "We have nothing to talk about," she simply says, her voice sad. She joins Roza and leaves me standing in shame.
I shouldn't be surprised she's showing me the cold shoulder after what I did and how I treated her yesterday morning. I know Izi well enough now to know she's not someone you mess with emotionally, and being on the receiving end of her indifference hurts. Somehow, of all the people I expected me to be the last one she could ever be mad at. You have such a high opinion of yourself, Cullen. Sometimes I do, but nevertheless, I know I have no one but myself to blame for what is happening now.
I sit down on a vacant spot where I have a good view of my girl who probably won't be mine any longer.
When I got home yesterday morning with my feelings all over the place and disappointed in the fact that she doesn't feel as much for me as I do for her, I jumped into the pool to not only wake me up fully but also to clear my head and to think. Her words about meeting my parents only if what was going on between us was serious were replaying in my mind. I was so sure Izi's feelings mirrored mine. Imagine my disappointment and shock when she told me that she wasn't comfortable enough to meet my mom. Although it wasn't with these exact words, but still, I'm able to read between the lines. And I wouldn't be Edward Cullen if this didn't make me do stupid things like running away and leaving her at the café instead of… instead of what? Confessing my love for her and making a fool of myself? No, that hadn't been an option.
Nevertheless, here I am, in love with the most beautiful girl in the world and ready to lock away my feelings somewhere deep inside so I can continue enjoying her company as long as I'm here. If Izi still wants me, that is.
My brother decides to plant his ass next to me instead of his better half. "Hey, bro." Emmett bumps my shoulder with his, almost knocking me over.
"Hey," I give back unenthusiastically. I don't take my eyes off Izi and to be honest, I'm also not really in the mood to talk.
"Listen," he says, ignoring my dismissal. "I don't know what's happened between you and Izi but you better make it right."
"Em, this is…," I look at him, pleading with my eyes to let it be. He obviously knows that something's not right - heck, even Roza, who's shooting me a questioning look, seems to know - but I really am in a too shitty mood to discuss this with him or anyone else really.
"If you tell me it's not my business I'll throw you overboard. It is my business. You're my brother and I love you. You've been happier in the last five days than you've ever been in your whole life. Except for when Alice was born."
"I was two, Emmett," I counter, laughing for the first time in twenty-four hours. "Of course I was happy that I didn't get another annoying brother like you."
"Yeah, yeah, you're a funny dude." Emmett rolls his eyes at me but I can see the grin behind it. "But seriously, Edward. Fix it!" I've never seen Emmett so serious about anything or anyone as he is now. He seems to genuinely like Izi. Everyone does and that doesn't surprise me at all. She is likeable.
And of course my brother thinks it's me that did something. I'm not willing to correct him until I've talked to Izi so I let him have his low opinion of me.
We make it to the island in a little over forty-five minutes. Taking our bags full of food and clothes we follow the path that leads us to our accommodations.
Izi is walking next to Alice, listening to whatever my sister is talking about, but doesn't offer any input. She just nods or shakes her head. I hate to see her like that, so passive and listless. Maybe Emmett was right and I need to fix it.
ooo
The lighthouse is amazing. The interior consists of three bedrooms, a decent sized kitchen and a rather small living room. It's summer, so I doubt anyone will want to spend any time inside anyway. There's only one bathroom which I can already tell will probably be a reason for some fighting in the morning.
Outside there's a grill and a long table under a large pergola.
"Ok, people, choose your bedrooms and get your bags inside. We'll meet in the kitchen later," Alice orders. Emmett takes Roza's hand, leading her into one of the rooms and it occurs to me that Izi and I will have to share a room. She seems to be thinking the same, because her eyes go from the couple's clasped hands to me. She quickly looks away when she sees me watching her and almost runs into the only vacant room. I sigh in frustration - frustrated with myself, of course - and follow her inside. There's a bed, a bit smaller than mine, a pull-out couch and a rocking chair close to the window, where Izi puts her bag down.
She's standing there awkwardly, wringing her fingers and looking between the bed and the couch. She clears her throat a few times before she speaks. "I can sleep on the couch."
It hurts hearing her suggesting separate sleeping arrangements but I have no right to feel that way. I deserve it after how I treated her.
"I will sleep on the couch," I offer. "You can have the bed. It's more comfortable." It's the least I can do after I acted like an asshole.
She looks at me as if she expected another answer from me. The sadness that was just minutes ago present in her eyes is replaced with determination and annoyance. "Just don't do me any favors, Edward," she says, her tone angry. "I'm taking the couch."
"No, Izi, please…" I don't get to say more because Izi looks seriously mad.
"I said I'll take the fucking couch, Edward!" We stare at each other. I'm shocked at her outburst and so is she. She covers her mouth with her hand, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "O Bože," (Oh God) she says, the words muffled against her hand.
She sits on the bed and her hands hide her beautiful face. Her shoulders shake and sobs escape her.
I kneel in front of her and I carefully put my hands on her knees, cautious not to startle her. "Izi." Hearing her name from my lips makes her cry even more. My heart breaks seeing her like this.
"Izi, baby, look at me." I slowly remove her hands from her face but she turns her head so I can't look into her eyes. "I need to talk to you."
She finally looks back at me, her face blotchy and her eyes red rimmed from crying. "Now you want to talk?" she asks, her tone clearly mad. "What more is there to say?" She throws her hands in the air exasperatedly and shakes her head. "You made it perfectly clear that you don't want anything to do with me anymore. You just left me in the café without any explanation, Edward, without telling me what I did or said." She gets up again and paces the room. "And when I texted you to hang out, you brushed me off. What was I supposed to think other than that you already had enough of me. I just don't understand why? Why all of a sudden?" She calms down a bit but her face shows she isn't done by a long shot. "And I thought… gosh, I'm so stupid."
In two strides I'm in front of her. "You thought what?" She shakes her head, clearly not in the mood to elaborate. I don't give up and look at her imploringly. "You thought what, Izi?"
"You want me to make a bigger fool of myself, Edward? Ok, if that's what you want. I have nothing to lose anymore because I already lost what I thought was the best thing that has happened to me." She lifts her head defiantly, her eyes blazing with determination.
"You want to hear that I've fallen in love with you? Is that what you wanted to hear? Or how about the fact that you're all I'm thinking about when I'm alone? I hope you listen well, Edward because you'll never hear it from me again."
I gape at her, not believing what I just heard. Izi groans and throws her hands up in surrender.
"I can't do this Edward." She grabs her bag, but before she can flee and leave me before I've had the chance to say something myself, I pull her back to me and crush my mouth to hers. She drops the bag and pushes on my chest, trying to get away but I only press my mouth harder on hers and put my arms around her back to keep her still. She gradually stops fighting and reciprocates.
Running her hands through my hair she pulls at it, trying to get closer, while her tongue slips into my mouth seeking out mine. I moan loudly, aroused at what she's doing to me, when she uses my loss of focus and shoves me hard causing me to stagger backwards.
"Don't, please," I beg, my hands mid-air, reaching out for her.
"Don't what, Edward? What else do you want from me?" She's not angry anymore but she has no fight left either.
I take my chance at being shoved away again by cupping her cheek. Izi closes her eyes and I'm elated when she doesn't pull away.
"Izi, look at me," I say and wait for her beautiful eyes to open. She takes a stuttering breath before brown meets green. "If you're a fool then I'm a fool too."
I wait for the words to sink in and when they do her eyes go wide. "What?" she asks, her tone cautious but hopeful. "What are you saying?"
I sit back on the bed and pull her down next to me. She's looking at me expectantly but before I tell her what she wants to hear I have to do something else first.
"Edward?" Izi whispers and her stance is guarded and tense.
"First and foremost, I have to tell you why I was such an asshole yesterday." I link my fingers with hers and she squeezes them, encouraging me to continue. I'm relieved that she's still here and that she's willing to hear me out.
"What I have to tell you is something I should have told you before I left you in the café, undeservedly," I explain and hope she'd be able to read between the lines; that I'm a big coward. "My mom called me the other day, asking me about you," I start my story and Izi stiffens immediately at the mention of my mom. "Apparently, Emmett can't keep anything to himself. So I told her how we met, how well we get along." I look at Izi. Her head is down, her eyes on our hands but there's a smile playing on her lips. "And when she asked me what my feelings for you were, I didn't have to think twice."
Izi looks up at me and she swallows thickly. "What did you tell her?" Her voice is shaky and a lone teardrop is rolling down her face.
"That I love you," I confess. Another sob escapes her and before she knows what's happening, I lift her up and cradle her in my arms. My move makes her cry even more and she buries her face into my t-shirt. "Don't cry, please," I plead, not being able to see her like that.
"I didn't know," she says, her voice muffled by the shirt. "If I had known…"
"I know, sweetheart," I console her. "You see now? When you said you don't want to meet my parents if the thing between us isn't serious, I thought you were talking about yourself at the time. I felt like an idiot. Here I was, in love with the most beautiful girl in the world and she didn't feel the same."
"I didn't mean me, Edward," Izi explains desperately. "I was talking about you."
"I know that now, but yesterday… it hurt, it hurt so much I had to get away from you. It was mean and immature to leave you, I know that. I just needed time to process everything. I couldn't sleep, my mind too occupied with thoughts of you. Even though I thought you didn't care for me as much as I did for you, I couldn't walk away if I wanted to. Pathetic, I know."
She straddles me and throws her arms around my neck to pull me closer. "No, you're not, Edward. Don't ever think that."
I shrug and bury my face into her hair, breathing her in. "I think you've been it for me the first time I saw you and you were scowling at me and calling me an idiot." She laughs through her tears and squeezes me tight.
"I'm so sorry," she apologizes unexpectedly.
"What are you sorry for?" I run my hand up and down her back and kiss her neck.
"Everything, Edward. I shouldn't have been so rash with my comment about meeting your parents and rather should have explained why I didn't think it was a good idea. I know you would have understood, but at the time I was shocked you would be so nonchalant about it. I ask myself now how you would have introduced me to your parents if we hadn't confessed our feelings just now? To be honest Edward, it would have hurt me, being referred to as only a friend."
"I wouldn't introduce you as a friend, since my mom knows how I feel about you, but I get where you're coming from. I just want to make it clear that I don't take these things lightly either. I don't bring anyone home to meet my folks. I guess we just have to work on our communication skills." She finally looks at me and smiles.
"I agree. It would have spared us so much pain. I love you, Edward, so much." She kisses me softly.
"I love you too, sweet girl."
We're quiet for a while, cocooned in the sanctuary of the room and elated at the new revelations.
"I'm scared, Edward," Izi whispers, breaking the silence.
"Why are you scared?" I cup her cheek and caress it with my thumb.
She leans into my touch then kisses my palm. "We know our feelings for each other now and I'm really happy we do, but how do we go ahead from here? How, if you live thousands of kilometers away?"
"I've been thinking about that too and it sucks. Honestly, I don't want to think too much about it just yet. We'll figure something out, ok?"
"Ok," Izi agrees, smiling slightly and lacing her fingers together behind my head.
"In the meantime," I say and run my hand under her hair to cup the back of her neck. "How about we catch up on things we missed out on in the last twenty-four hours?"
Izi licks her lips and looks at my mouth. "And what would that be?"
"Come here, I'll show you." I pull her face closer and capture her lips.
Izi pushes me down on the bed and kisses me like her life depends on it. A fierce and no bullshit Izi is hot, but a confident and untamed Izi is sexy as Hell.
"God, I missed this," she whispers as she presses her center into my dick, moaning at the contact.
"This and not me?" I joke, lifting my hips and with my hands on her ass I push her down on me.
"You, Edward, only you. This is just a bonus." She takes my hand and puts it under her shirt. "See what you do to me? I want you to touch me all the time, baby. That's what you're doing to me."
I pull her down for another kiss. "Volin te, Izi." (I love you, Izi.) It's the first time I use my grandfather's language. Izi smiles, telling me she likes it.
"I ja tebe," (I love you too) she confesses and kisses me hard.
A knock on the door makes us groan simultaneously at the interruption.
"If you haven't killed each other yet would you mind joining us for breakfast?" Emmett's voice comes from the other side of the door.
"We'll be right there, Emmett. He has the worst timing, I swear," I grumble. Izi laughs and stands up.
"Come on, lover boy. Let's get something to eat," she suggests and holds out a hand for me. I get up unwillingly, because I'd rather make out with the goddess that is Izi. She pulls me down so her lips are at my ear. "We'll have the whole night to ourselves, baby and I'm looking forward to it."
I groan frustratedly behind her, which makes Izi giggle. The evening can't come soon enough.
ooo
"How cool is this," Emmett exclaims with his head in the fridge. "They got us cold cuts, eggs, cheese… And is this…?" He retrieves a platter with what looks like prosciutto and he's almost salivating.
"Ajme! Pršut!" (Oooh! Prosciutto!) Izi squeals and steals the platter from a stunned Emmett.
"Give that back!" He chases after her around the kitchen table while Izi is eating one slice at the time, grinning at my brother.
"Mmmh," she teases him. "This is soo good." She walks over to me and sits on my lap. "Open, baby," she orders and dangles a piece of the cured meat in front of me and lets it slowly disappear in my mouth. Her eyes are intently on mine and her breathing picks up. God only knows what scenarios are going through her mind. I wink at her and chew slowly on the delicacy.
"Curb it down, you pervs. It's like watching porn."
"Shut up, Emmett!" Roza hisses.
"Ew! This is our brother, Emmett." Alice makes a gagging sound.
"Yeah, but he's not my brother," Izi counters. "Thankfully," she adds and kisses me in spite of Alice's comment.
"Let's eat and then hit the water," Jasper suggests.
"Ok, baby, hop off. I'll need my space to eat." I tap her on her fine ass and laugh at the pout she makes.
What started out as a day full of uncertainties and fears, thankfully ended in the best morning possible. Looking back, I should have talked to her instead of running away and more so both of us jumping to false conclusions. Communication is key and frankly, we still have a lot to talk about. Today is not the day though. Today I just want to have a great time with my girl. I lean over and kiss her cheek.
"Volin te," I whisper in her ear.
"I ja tebe."
Those words right there are all that matter to me.
ooo
Ok, whatever stupid things the characters are going to do or say in the future chapters, blame them not me LOL
I get it though. It won't be easy for them, time is running out and... well, been there, done that.
Many 'hvalas' for reading and reviewing. Like always, please let me know what you think.
Voli vas
LunaBev