An odd little Tsunade pov. Themes of death and regret. An au where Jiraiya sides with Orochimaru in order to get his beloved reader back.

Something is off. Very off. Jiraiya was uncharacteristically quiet. He led the way while Tsunade followed, which was then followed by Shizune who held Ton Ton tightly. The little thing has been shaking since he showed up. She didn't like something about how he was acting. Neither did the women who follow him. If she hadn't known him since childhood, Tsunade would be more suspicious. He's just in a bad mood or something.

"You can be so hard to find." Jiraiya cut the quiet with a lighthearted comment. "I've been looking around for you for two weeks."

"Sorry to hold you up. Just where are we going?" She replied.

"... You'll see. Just trust me."

That was beginning to be tough to do. It's very quiet over here. In the middle of the woods. This is how people go missing. It's beginning to feel as if all that'll be found of them will be bags and shoes.

Jiraiya stopped in the middle of a clearing. He looked around, checking his surroundings with a critical eye. His gaze locked with hers and he offered a smile.

"I know I'm acting weird. It's just hard to talk about." He offered a sort of apology.

"What's going on? Are you in trouble?"

"No..." His gaze casts to the floor. He pauses for several moments before sighing. "I... You'll see. Shizune."

The girl looked up from comforting her pet to staring a little wide eyed at him. She too is getting uneasy with him.

"I need to take Tsunade down here alone. Are you willing to wait here for a while?"

Instead of answering, she looked to Tsunade for guidance. She won't leave unless told. And what the hell did he mean by down here? This is Jiraiya. Even if he is being suspicious, Tsunade does trust him. He must have some sort of problem meant for her eyes and ears alone. She nods. Her niece returns it.

"Okay. But I'll be close if you need me."

Again, Tsunade nods. Honestly all she would have to do is utter a note of distress and Shizune would be there in a snap. She's good backup.

"Don't worry." Jiraiya offered a more lighthearted tone again. His smile more joking as it usually is. "I won't take up too much of her time."

He kneeled down and grabbed at the grass. Oh... that's hidden well. So well that anyone who came across it would never suspect anything. Not even a ninja trained in seeking would find this the first time. He pulled on the metal ring that seemed to have appeared from no where. Attached to it was a hatch. He pulls it open with ease to reveal a dark hole. An underground something was just beyond the darkness.

Jiraiya jumped in first, offering some semblance of trust. It's not dangerous. Just suspicious as all hell. Tsunade sighs before hopping down after him. The stone under her feet is... carved. That's what it looks like. Ridges and grooves in the stone like someone carved it out with tools. It's perfectly square. It's completely man made and... unnatural. The hall ahead of her is black as the only light is the square halo from the open hatch above her head. It has a very menacing tone to it. As if monsters lurk just beyond the blackness.

"Where are we going?" She asks more quietly. It feels as if speaking loudly may disturb whatever is beyond her vision.

"To see a friend." Was the cryptic answer she got.

"Jiraiya. Come on. Cut the crap and just tell me."

He didn't reply. He stared into the darkness like it held a secret from him. A sad one. There's a longing look to him. There's something in that darkness he wants.

"I'm sorry. It'll make better sense if you just see it." Jiraiya still didn't explain himself. He continued to be vague. "It's not really my place to explain." He paused for a moment. He took a step away from the safety of the light into the darkness. Even from that short step he was almost completely shrouded. It was like this hallways just fed on the light to stay in the ominous dark. "If you don't like it, then go out the way you came. They already know we're here."

Okay. That's as ominous as the darkness. Just what the fuck is going on here? When Jiraiya requested she follow, Tsunade half expected to be taken back to Konoha. She heard through the grapevine that the village was destroyed during a raid that Orochimaru had orchestrated. He pulled the strings of the Sand and with the combined power of his own military he made, they did a significant amount of damage. He even took down sensei. So why in the world did Jiraiya take her to this mysterious place?

The curiosity was bigger than her suspicion. Jiraiya always has good reasons for his ways. Tsunade took a step into the darkness, the light of the sun was no longer beaming on her. It's cold. It's creepy. There's an icy air caressing her ankles as if something was teasing her. The moment she drops her guard, it'll lock around her leg and pull her off her feet into the void. With Jiraiya next to her... it was more bearable. He always had her back. No matter what.

"Then just take me wherever it is you need to." She said.

In the low light that barely illuminated his body, Jiraiya turned his head to look at her. There's enough of a glint to catch his eyes. They've always been so easy to read. He's thankful. Why... she didn't know. What could make her so essential for him to ask her to come along? He's not scared of the dark. If he was, he wouldn't seek her out to face it. He offers her his hand.

"There's some twists and traps laid in the hall. I'll navigate you through it."

How did he know? How many times has he been here?

Nevertheless, she nods and grasps his hand. He has good reason. He always had for the strange things he does. He led her into the almost suffocating darkness. No matter how long she stayed in it, her every never seemed to adjust. The best she could do was make out the vague shape of Jiraiya in the pitch black.

First she was pulled right. Then again. Then a left. He muttered for her to stick against the wall. She used her free hand to feel for it and stay by it as he continued to mama duck her through this place. Just what is at the end of this maze? It has to be a hideout of some kind. Something with this much precautions put into it does not simply hold nothing.

It was very quiet. The two sets of feet stepping on the stone was the only noise. There was no sound ahead. Nothing above the decibel of the steps if there was. This whole place was eerie. It was only made stranger as Jiraiya navigated the place like he was born to it. The darkness that most people fear didn't phase him. A face could suddenly pop out like this was a cheesy horror film and he'd probably just shrug it off.

Another turn. At this point it was a little disorientating. Was that left? Or right? It was hard to gain any kind of bearings in this unbreakable darkness.

The next step she took echoed. From that alone it was easy to place that she just entered a large room. Vast and... exposing. It was very cold in this room. Just how deep underground is this place? It feels like it could burrow into the core of the earth. Despite how strange this room felt, Jiraiya was not phased. He pulled her into it without hesitation before stopping suddenly. It was intentionally this spot. Who knows why this spot in particular is an answer she does not have. At this point it feels like he had led Tsunade into the home of an ancient being. Perhaps the devil himself is in this place.

The warm whoosh of flame was a surprise. Her already on edge nerves jumped when torches lit up. It was almost as by magic as the orange glow of the flames lit up the room. They lined the walls every few feet. Stealing a quick glance behind her to the hall she was led through revealed they too had torches. It was almost like a cruel joke. Was there really a need to navigate in complete and utter all consuming darkness? Even then was the right path lit or were all the paths that the mysterious hallway have are now illuminated?

Jiraiya had dropped her hand a few moments before the fires were lit. Looking over to him revealed he had his hands in a seal. Looking to the ground revealed they were both standing on a circle of some sort. A switch or seal that activated the torches seemed most likely. So it requires someone who knows this place well in order to light the way. How peculiar. A safety precaution of some sort. It would be completely impossible to tail someone in the dark without having a light. Just why would someone be so cautious? What's down here? Why does Jiraiya seem to be apart of it? It's starting to feel very cult like or something. It's nefarious whatever it is he's hiding down here.

Across the room was another hall. He's staring at it with an expectation. There are other people then. There has to be. As if to confirm, the sound of footsteps began to sound. It was quiet but quickly began to gain volume.

A feminine figure began to grow in view from the other hall. Jiraiya was not alarmed by her sudden presence. Actually, he looked excited. His dull expression lighting up with recognition and joy at the sight of her. The smile on his face real for the first time since Tsunade had met up with him. He jogged forward to meet up with her halfway between the centre of the room and the hall the woman will emerge from.

"Welcome back!" The woman cheered happily with her arms up and ready to greet him with a hug.

That's when it finally hit.

You.

How are you here?

Tsunade stared at you in disbelief. You embraced Jiraiya tightly and he was gleeful to return it. He spun you around in the hug before releasing you, just to lean down and kiss you.

You haven't aged a day. You still look like you had when you... died. Over twenty years ago. In the midst of war. You were a casualty. It was horrible. Jiraiya was a wreak for a long time. He was a terror for the first month. He lashed out with bitter words that stung. He screamed. He cried. He drank and holed himself in his now one occupant home for days. There was plenty a time he was found curled up in the corner of a room gripping something of yours and just shaking with too many emotions. He spiralled so hard and so quickly. He was downright suicidal after your death. It took a lot to get him out of that place.

So how is it that you're here now?

You look wonderful. Your beauty and life preserved like it never left. The only thing that really changed was your clothing. Which was a simple off white kimono with a purple sash around your waist. It wasn't really your style. In fact was eerily similar to the clothing you were buried in.

You held onto Jiraiya with your cheek rested on his chest as you once had so many years ago. Your eyes shut and a content smile on your face. You look almost ethereal. Unreal. At peace. The dead can't come back to life. This can't be you. Not really anyways. It was a cruel trick or something to play with Jiraiya's emotions. His guard was completely dropped and he had melted into your embrace. He held onto you like you would disappear if he didn't. The smile on his face was the happiest he's expressed in years. As your death had left a mark on him that always plagued his emotions. He never smiled like this after your passing.

This isn't something to trust. You died. Your body is still rotting away in Konoha's cemetery. This was an apparition. Or a transformation. Something. Whatever it is it's not you. Frankly it's in poor taste. The dead should never be used like this.

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade said quietly. It was hard to speak. There's a lump in her throat she can't quite swallow down. Everything about this is telling her something bad is or is about to happen. "Who... is this?"

"I know it's been more than a few years, but I thought you would at least recognize my wife when you saw her." He replied with a chuckle.

"But she... That can't be her. I remember when she died."

You raised your lids and stared at her in confusion. Jiraiya simply held you tighter. His hand gripping a fistful of the back of your kimono. He frowns and grew defensive.

"Yeah. I do too. But she's back."

Is he in denial? It's not totally out of the question. He loved you so much. A good part of him died the same day you did. It's no surprise that he would fall for a trick like this and so desperately hold on. Tsunade shook her head slowly. She understood that need and want to hold on. But it's all false. It only hurts more to hold on like that.

"There is no jutsu or scroll that can bring back the dead." She declares.

"I thought that too..."

He turned his head back to the hallway. Tsunade raised her gaze back to it as well. Great. More people are coming. When the recognizable figure of Orochimaru entered the room, the alarm bells she had been ignoring the whole time could no longer be ignored. Nothing that man touches is good. It's always evil and smells of death.

If this man was involved... Who else would be talented enough... and twisted enough to raise the dead and restore them to their former glory? If this is indeed not a trick. She should have guessed.

But what did that mean for Jiraiya? Just what is the price of resurrection? If this was actually a true case of the impossible and you are back, just what would draw the line? You are worth the world to him. He's had many a drunk conversation with her saying how he would do anything just to hold you again. What exactly did 'anything' mean?

"My dear Tsunade. Welcome." Orochimaru greeted her with a smile.

He's too close for comfort now. With him here he's now completes the small circle they are standing in. Tsunade stays wary. She watches him. Those hands of his can take life just as quickly as they can grant it. Yet... he's not exactly carrying himself as he usually does. He's slumped forward slightly, his arms dangling limply and swaying like dead weight. They are bandaged up. But from where she stands she can see the blacken rotted clots of blood that speckled the bandages. The smell that came from them was the rancid sweetness of flesh spoiled. That's not good. There's something wrong with his arms. By the sweat that beaded his brow and heavy breathing, it must be both painful and poisonous to the rest of his body.

"What happened to you?" She asks coldly.

"Sensei is as tricky as ever. No matter how we prepared." Orochimaru said, taking an obvious glance to Jiraiya, who didn't reply.

It was obvious enough what he was implying. Jiraiya is a good actor. He's also well trusted in Konoha. No one would suspect him to be treacherous. Tsunade took a moment to look him over as well. How did he help? His head bowed, his bangs falling heavy to hide his face. It's easy to imagine shame is on his features for aiding his old friend in such a task. There's plenty he could have done to let the invasion happen and happen with ease. Maybe he simply turned a blind eye when he knew what was to happen. Or did he let the doors open? She heard there was lots of casualties. Too much to simply forget or forgive... How could you, Jiraiya? Just how many died because of your selfishness? Is the price of love worth all the pain left in your wake?

You are quick to caress his face and guide it so he had no choice but to look at you. Within a few moments he's leaned back down to your level to nuzzle his cheek against yours. All his worries are so quickly put at ease with you here.

"He stole the use of my arms before dying like a dog." Orochimaru rudely insulted a dead man before continuing his explanation. "Without them, I'm afraid I can't work on what I need to. I was hoping we could come to an understanding here. Much like how Jiraiya had..." He again pauses to motion with his head towards the happy couple. "Just look at what he's done and the joy that's back in his life. You can have that too if you help me."

She inhales and pauses. The word no was just on her tongue but...

Look how happy he is. All those years of grief and pain that had taken such a heavy toll on Jiraiya was gone. It was like you have never left. He was enchanted by your presence. Absorbed in your attention and at peace beside you. It's... nice seeing him happy again. She does miss that. Her own love and family stolen from her almost at the same time you died. Envy rises like a bitter pill stuck in her throat at seeing what she could have again.

"What would I have to do?" The question had been on her mind for awhile. Surely whatever had to be done was not simple.

"Heal my arms." Orochimaru answers like it was something simple. He then stood up straight and hid the grimace of pain it caused him. That tricky grin was back on his face. "In exchange I'll bring back Dan. Nawaki too if that's what you wish. I'll need a few... fresh ingredients but if Jiraiya can do it, I imagine you can do it too."

So that's the key. Why is she not surprised? The darkest parts of her imagination are conjuring the ingredients he might need. Her lifetime of medical experience offering a different perspective on the idea of resurrection, but the recipe was straightforward. Orochimaru will probably need the original bodies. Along with two live sacrifices to absorb their lives into the dead to revive them. That was the idea, wasn't it? That made the most sense. It was also the most grim.

"I can see the cogs turning in your head. You've figured it out, not that I would expect any different. I can assure you that you don't even have to meet the people I use to sacrifice." He offered comfort. "Although..."

There's a shriek from behind. Tsunade's heart leaps around in her chest. She knows the voice that shriek belongs to. It echoes as it was far in the catacombs Jiraiya led her through. Shizune! Oh god was she alright?

Her fear must have been clear, because Orochimaru spoke again.

"Oh don't worry. She's fine. Kabuto has simply taken her down for a chat shall we say." He assures. "I'm sure with you telling her it's fine, she'll understand. I could use another pair of talented hands around here. But if she doesn't agree... I'm sure her death can be useful too."

Crap. Shizune... she should have stayed put.

Even without the blackmail that could be used against her, Tsunade was leaning towards agreeing. She remains quiet as she weighs her options before making a final decision.

It was then Jiraiya tore his attention from you. He gave you a loving, very passionate and heated kiss before breaking away. He quietly shooed you away to stand further back as he stood beside Orochimaru tense and defensive. How deep in the hole was he? What terms did he agree to in order to bring you back? Was he so easily swayed? There's conflict in his eyes as he holds an inner fight. She knows him. He's fighting with his conscience and his obligation to serve whatever debt he owes. He didn't want to, but he'll fight her if he had to. A cold resilience overtook his emotional eyes as he steeled himself to the idea.

In the background, Tsunade can see you. Her eyes met yours. There's bright. They're emotional. They're alive. They look around lively at the three adults preparing to duke it out with worry. It's been a long time since someone cared that much over them. It's been so long since someone worried like that. Shizune was always fully confident in her ability. However Dan wouldn't want them to fight like this. Nawaki would be at least a little into it, ready to be her cheerleader. Heh... he was always such a fun kid.

"I need proof." She stated. She looks at you. "How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"But of course." Orochimaru turned to you and motioned for you to come forward. "Show her, my dear."

You are hesitant to walk forward. You stopped beside Jiraiya once you made it back to his side. He of course grabbed your hand and walked very close behind you. Again he was on guard, mistrustful of Tsunade's intentions. She wasn't planning on hurting you... Not unless this is all a farce. Even if he ends up hating her for doing it, he's better off without that emotional manipulation of having a fake you around.

She checks your wrist and neck for a pulse. Both beat steady with a normal bpm. Your skin is warm. You are breathing... But what about your memories? She stays quiet for a moment. You are quiet too. Simply staying at Tsunade with both curiosity and familiarity.

Hm... a memory only you and her share. It's hard to think of one that didn't involve Jiraiya. You were attached to the hip to him since school. She didn't really grow all that close to you until after graduation. Even after being split into a different team, you still did all you could to meet up with Jiraiya. Practically every training day ended with him colliding with you in a hug at the edge of the field. It was really cute to see how close and in love her teammate was with you. He proposed to you just out of teens and you picked her to be your one and only bridesmaid.

During which time Jiraiya was oddly stingy. He stuck to traditional rules and superstitions when it came to marriage. Which included not seeing you for a few days. That meant Tsunade was the one caught in between. From you wanting so desperately to see him and him whispering ideas to her about what sexy lingerie she should put in the honeymoon bag for you. But what stuck out during that time was the small moments. The things you and her shared without your groomzilla looming around. One of those small but memorable things does come to mind.

"What did I break right before you went into your wedding ceremony?"

Your eyes widened. Then you laugh. That hasn't changed. It was how she remembered. Loud and happy. It was kinda similar to Jiraiya's contagious and unapologetically loud laughs. You filled the room with your joy.

"My hair pin! The beads just slid right off the string after you spent an hour trying to put it in my hair!" You answer gleefully.

That's right. You were a good sport about it. You had a particular vision in mind for your hair that included a family heirloom hair pin. Tsunade is far from a hairdresser, but she tried her best to make a bun and pin the antique in your hair. The dangling precious stone beads rattled the whole time. The moment she had it at a perfect place and let it go, the knot holding the beads gave out and scattered into oblivion. You laughed it off and said it was fine.

"I didn't know that happened." Jiraiya remarks.

You leaned back to rest against his chest while looking up at him. His arms wrap around you.

"Really? I thought I told you. There was a reason my hair was so plain."

"You? Plain? Impossible!"

You and him share a laugh. He bends down to give you a kiss. Your fingers run through his hair... It looks nice. It's been so long since she's been held like that. Secure and loved against the body of her beloved.

"I..." She hesitates for a moment. The hole in her heart could be healed. The anguish could be healed. Her family could be whole again. "I'm sure Shizune will come around. She just doesn't understand yet."

Jiraiya relaxes with a sigh. Orochimaru's smile grew more wicked.

"I knew we would agree." He said. He made a motion with his head towards the hall from whence he came. "We can discuss it later. Come now, you must be tired after travelling all day."

It felt like she just signed a contract without reading all the terms and conditions. Tsunade took that first step forward, feeling as though she could not turn back. Jiraiya gently pulled you along to fall in stride. Orochimaru led everyone into the grim feeling hideout ahead.

Once entered into the next hall, it felt like she couldn't turn back. She agreed to this. She was in the same uncertain and emotional boat as Jiraiya. Only he had already gotten his prize. How wonderful it must be. She craves to have them back just as he had craved for you. In her mind she can imagine being held by Dan again. Content and happy to stand in a fulfilling embrace. And to have Nawaki back again. To now have the opportunity to watch him grow and thrive would be... indescribable. There's nothing else she could ever want.

"Just think of the things we'll achieve together, my friends." Orochimaru dropped his voice into a dangerous sounding whisper. As if he himself was picturing what it could mean if they united again in that very moment. "The world as we know it will fall to our will."

Jiraiya casted a disapproving look to the man before him. Tsunade had done the same. Talking like that is making her fear for the future. Then her eyes locked with his. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. There's a forlorn warning there that told her to wait. It was as if he was telling her to be patient. As if today wasn't emotionally exhausting and full of mystery already, she wasn't exactly sure what he was telling her to be patient for. Rebellion? Or did he agree with this mantra, but had a different vision of how to achieve it? He never did like working with others for too long.

"Come, darling. Our room is this way." You spoke softly, gently tugging Jiraiya down the fork that appeared in the hall.

"Our room?" Jiraiya asks in jest. He follows you with a small chuckle. "I've never been in this room. Just what could we do together to officially welcome me into it?"

"I'm sure you already know!"

Giggles echo in the hall. Tsunade had slowed her steps to watch as the giddiness of being together had taken both you and Jiraiya. He scooped you off of your feet before locking your lips in a kiss. He kicked in a door and carried you inside of the room beyond it. Hopefully her room isn't too close by. It's been twenty years, but she does remember that you were a screamer. It was hard enough to live in the same apartment complex as you and Jiraiya back in the day. Living only a few feet away in an echoey underground hideout for sometime didn't sound great.

"They don't waste time, do they?" Orochimaru asks in bemusement.

"No. They never did."

He snickers in response. After a length of wall, it broke again to another fork. He paused and motioned to the hall.

"Down here is your room. I don't wish to overwhelm you. We'll speak more in the morning." He was being rather accommodating. It wasn't usually like him.

"Thanks..." Tsunade trails off and looks him over. Those injuries... "Aren't you in pain?"

"It's not so bad. Bearable for now. It's best for you to look at it later. I need to get back to work and you look exhausted." He shrugged off her question. He motioned towards the straight path that continues on in the hideout. "I'm just down the hall if you have any questions."

Tsunade simply nods and strolls down the short hall that held her room. Like the one you and Jiraiya went into, a door was closed at the end of it to the right. She entered it and shut the door behind her. Perhaps she is tired. All that had happened was a lot to digest. There's plenty to think about.

First the cons came about in her mind. She didn't know the way out. Her niece is being held prisoner somewhere in here. Even if she didn't want to help she's stranded up shit creek without a paddle. The odds are certainly stacked against her. Even so... she did want to help. They didn't need to hold these things above her to convince her. Honestly, all she would have to do is strike the wall or roof and the place will tumble apart. She'll take her remaining family and stride off with head held high. Their threats mean nothing. She'd strike down Jiraiya if he tried to interfere. He's clearly sided with Orochimaru now. But she didn't want to fight.

Dan... Nawaki...

Who wouldn't want to see the people they love the most again? Her dearly departed won't be departed anymore. It's not exactly natural, but she wants it. She wants it so badly. Her husband and brother back in her life like they never left. The happiness Jiraiya had while with you had fuelled her deeply buried want to be loved like that again.

With a sigh, Tsunade strolled over to the bed. It was the only thing in the room aside from a desk with a chair. A nap would be good. She needs to be on her top game tomorrow to inspect Orochimaru's wounds.

She kicks off her shoes and laid down. She's worried. Hopefully Shizune is okay. She was promised that her niece is fine. Just imprisoned until she understood. Surely Shizune would want to see her family again, wouldn't she? Their deaths took a toll on her too.

Just... focus on rest, before the thumping from the room a few feet away gets too loud. Tomorrow was going to be long. Tsunade had already come up with a plan of action. Ask for proof and make demands. Shizune must be unharmed. Heal one arm, get one man in return. Heal the other for the other... Don't back down from the challenge.

Do it for family. No matter the consequences that are to come.

Once she makes up her mind, Tsunade never wavers. She had to do this. She will do this. Happiness is just around the corner. Only just out of reach for now. After doing plenty of hard work, the reward will be worth everything.

Do it for Dan.

Do it for Nawaki.

Shizune will understand. She'll be happy to have them back too.

Nothing else matters other than them.