Izuku dreams of jagged spikes plunging into his chest and jerks awake with scarlet eyes still seared into his mind. He shoots upright in his bed, panting heavily and drenched in sweat. For a few long moments, he simply stays there, trembling and clutching at his sheets, staring at his walls and struggling to remind himself that he's fine, that he's safe, he's not there anymore, he's at UA. His walls are not the brick walls of the bar, they're the smooth, painted walls of his dorm. He's safe, he's protected, and he's surrounded by his friends, his heroes, not villains.

Izuku swallows, mouth feeling dry, and grabs the glass of water on his nightstand. Having been woken up by his nightmare, Sushi appears at his side, and he scoops up his cat and holds him close to his chest. His familiar weight is comforting, and Izuku tries to go back to sleep for about two minutes before realizing that it's not going to happen. With a heavy sigh, he gets up, turns on the light, goes to his desk, takes out a medical book, and starts to read.

Sushi curls up on his lap and stays with him as the next couple of hours tick by slowly. Exhaustion pulls heavy on his bones and he knows the bags under his eyes must be getting noticeable by now after a week of such little sleep. He rubs at them, trying to get some moisture under his dry eyelids, and lets out a tired sigh. Sushi meows, the sound loud and cutting in the pressing silence of the room, and Izuku scratches behind his ears.

"I'm alright," he murmurs.

The others will be up for breakfast soon enough. They're going to jump right into training today, so they're starting as early as any regular school day. It's a bit jarring, going right back into it with such little time to adjust to their new lives, but there's a lot they need to catch up on if they want to be ready for their provisional license exam.

Izuku keeps reading until the light of early dawn starts peeking through his windows. When it's finally an appropriate time, he gets dressed and heads downstairs for breakfast.

In class, Aizawa talks more about the exam itself and explains that they'll need to develop two ultimate moves to help them pass. He brings in Midnight, Ectoplasm, and Cementoss to assist him, and tells everyone to change into their costumes and meet in Gym Gamma to train.

However, as the students file out of the classroom, Aizawa stops Izuku.

"Not you," he says. Kacchan shoots Izuku a look and starts to linger, but the freckled boy waves him off and he continues following his classmates. Izuku turns to his teacher, tilting his head questioningly. "It's going to be entirely quirk-based training, so there won't be anything for you to do there," Aizawa says.

"Shouldn't I be on stand-by for injuries then?" Izuku asks, "If they're going to be trying new moves, it might get dangerous…"

"That's why we have four teachers," Aizawa says pointedly, "Plus however many clones Ectoplasm creates." He pushes Izuku's forehead with a finger. "You need to focus on your own license exam."

Izuku blinks slowly. "My own…?"

His brain short-circuits.

"I think I can pull some strings and have you do the license exam in the beginning of your second semester."

Oh...

Oh SHIT!

His license exam! How could he have forgotten?! With everything that happened- he forgot that Recovery Girl had said that! Shit, he didn't realize it was so soon! When is it exactly? Did she say? Agh, he can't remember!

Despite his sudden anxiety, excitement also bubbles in his chest, vibrating alongside the cluster of nerves. So close! He's so close to healing All Might!

A grin breaks out across his face and he beams up at Aizawa. The man squints and glances away.

"What, did you forget?" He grunts.

"Yeah, actually," Izuku admits sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "I've kinda had a lot going on."

An indecipherable expression passes over Aizawa's face and he presses his lips together before he sniffs, "Yeah, well, go on then- don't keep Recovery Girl waiting. We'll see you back at the dorms."

He gives Izuku a nudge and the boy spins around, dashing down the hallway excitedly. "Bye, Aizawa-sensei!" He calls over his shoulder.

"Don't run in the hallway."

Izuku huffs but reluctantly slows down.

When he gets to the infirmary, he's hit with an odd wave of nostalgia. It feels like it's been ages since he's been in here. Recovery Girl is waiting for him and greets him with a warm hug. She asks him how he's settling in and he says he's fine, everything's great and he's trying not to sound too impatient but from the unimpressed look on her face he can tell that he's failing miserably.

Finally, he blurts out, "When is my exam?! You said the beginning of second semester, right? Is that like a general, within the first few weeks beginning or like within the first few days beginning?" He bounces on his toes eagerly.

Recovery Girl doesn't respond right away. She gazes at him with her lips pressed in a thin line, wrinkled eyes narrowed in a way that makes him feel like he's being analyzed. When she does finally speak, her voice is firm. "Listen to me." He goes still. She pauses and takes a deep breath through her nose. "I managed to convince the board to test you on the same day as your classmates' license exam. That means in ten days." His eyes widen as his heart leaps to his throat. That soon?! "I had planned this as soon as you were able to stop your quirk. Before the mall, and before Kamino…"

Izuku swallows, the scarred muscles of his throat feeling tight. He remembers that week. Everything had seemed to spiral out of control so quickly afterwards. He had been so happy to gain control of his quirk, but then Kendou had gotten injured, and then not a week later Shigaraki had attacked him, and then Kamino…

Recovery Girl gives him a stern look. "I want to make this very clear. I was very tempted to cancel it, and I still am, but I know you, and I know that you would benefit more from something to focus on rather than being coddled even further."

Izuku lets out a gust of air, shoulders sagging. "Thank you, Recovery Girl!" He rasps, gratitude filling every inch of his ragged voice. What did he do to deserve a mentor like her?

"But I don't want you to push yourself, alright, young man?" Recovery Girl says, "Any studying and training you do for the exam will be done with me. I don't want you rushing and going overboard like I know you do."

"Yes, ma'am." Izuku nods obediently.

"I mean it," she warns, "I'll set Aizawa-san on you. He better not catch you cracking open a medical book at 1AM."

Izuku's eyes widen slightly. Crap. How did she know?

Coughing awkwardly to cover up his surprise, he stammers, "I, uh, I won't."

Recovery Girl narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Uh huh."

Suddenly feeling rather self-conscious about the dark circles under his eyes, he changes the subject and asks how the license exam will go. Much like the UA recommendation exam, the healer provisional license exam is a large test with two parts, a written portion and a physical portion. The written portion will contain a wide variety of questions ranging in levels of difficulty and, since he's a high school first-year, he's not expected to know all of it, he just needs to answer enough questions correctly to give the board an idea of his level of knowledge.

The physical portion will involve a few volunteer patients arriving from the hospital with minor injuries. Recovery Girl wants him to demonstrate the control that he has over the flow of his energy, so the plan is that he will first use his quirk to fully heal one person's wound, then for the next he'll stop halfway, then heal the next one slowly. Even though it feels like he's come so far, now that it's come time to present his accomplishments, it sounds like almost nothing. Recovery Girl chastises him and tells him that when he came to UA he had no control over his quirk and that he's made an incredible amount of progress in such a short amount of time.

"We need to be sure to emphasize that to the board," she says, "We'll tell them what your goals are for what you want to achieve with your quirk, and how you want to gain better control of it. We need to make them believe just as much as I do that you can achieve those goals."

"My goals…" Izuku murmurs. His mind wanders back to the list of goals he and Recovery Girl made earlier on in his training. One: Be able to touch someone without automatic quirk activation. Two: Learn how to control the speed and output of his energy. Three: Be able to slow down or completely stop his quirk before an injury is fully healed, therefore helping him save as much energy as he can. Four: Figure out how to direct his energy to specific injuries so that they're healed first.

He's only accomplished number three, and sort of number two, he supposes. He did do number four, but only once, and that was… when he was healing All For One.

Izuku swallows and tries to suppress a shudder. It's so hard to think of the man, just the mere memory is usually enough to send him into a panic, so he's been doing his best to avoid letting his thoughts wander to All For One. The only time his mind succumbs to the villain is during the night when he torments him in his dreams.

But now, as he starts to fall into the steady rhythm of working alongside Recovery Girl once more, he lets himself think. Not of All For One, but of his own quirk. How it felt when he forced it, looking past the pain and discomfort, and instead focusing on how his energy felt thick and sludge-like. Tangible. He could grab it, direct it, and he did. That's not something he could ever do when he lets his energy flow naturally. It slips through his grasp like water, and he can't imagine ever thinking of a way to change that. This… This way of directing his energy, this is something he already did, so he already knows he can do it, it's just…

Recovery Girl said not to do it again. And it's bad for him, he knows that, it felt awful to do… but he just can't help being curious about it now that he thinks about it. Actually, the fact that he can force his quirk while he's injured is a useful piece of information. Of course, he'll avoid doing it, but just knowing that he could, at least, in the case of an emergency. He wonders how his injuries would affect his output of energy. When he was healing All For One, he definitely noticed that he was draining a lot faster than he would have if he wasn't injured.

All For One said he only had a certain amount of energy to give at a time before he succumbs to quirk exhaustion. He also needs to take into account the size differences between him and whoever he's healing. Someone bigger than him like All For One or All Might that's gravely injured would need to be healed in multiple sessions simply because he doesn't physically produce the same amounts of energy as they do. But the same wouldn't apply for someone that's smaller than him, right? He might even have a surplus of energy- could he force extra energy into someone? What would even happen? Would it make them extra healthy? Give them a strength boost? No, that one wouldn't make sense. Would their bodies even accept it? It makes him think of filling a balloon so much that it bursts. Probably not a great idea to try, but it does make his mind wander to the opposite.

He thinks of the way All Might's missing organs felt, the empty voids of missing energy, like an eerie chasm contrasting drastically to the warm life around it. It's the same way All For One's eyes felt before he healed them, before he forced his energy and filled those empty pockets with life once more. And it makes him think… if he were to force his energy into a smaller body, maybe one without energy at all… could he bring them back to life?

It seems impossible. It has to be impossible. Izuku knows his quirk is powerful, but the implications of that… It makes him dizzy just to think about it.

The faint ache in his bones draws him back to reality. He shakes his head. It doesn't matter anyway. Forcing his quirk isn't a viable option because it's not like he can test it or train with it anyway. Not when it has such a negative drawback, one that he's still trying to recover from over a week later. He needs to be well enough to use his quirk for his license exam, and then to heal All Might, and then to heal all the students he heals on an everyday basis. Forcing his quirk felt horrible and there's too much of a risk involved. He can still do it if he needs to in an emergency, but he'll find another way to direct his flow of energy.

His first day of training ends in the late afternoon. Thankfully, none of his classmates come in for any injuries, nor do any other hero students. Part of him wonders if any of the upperclassmen are training as well and he makes a mental note to ask Mirio later. Only a couple of support students come in for minor injuries, so he doesn't get to practice with his quirk much, but Recovery Girl spends most of the day reviewing diagnostic procedures and equipment with him. Even though he doesn't use his quirk, he's still pretty exhausted by the time he goes back to the dorm, both from lack of sleep and the amount of information stuffed in his brain.

His classmates are still on an adrenaline high from their training. After showering, Izuku goes down to the lounge to see a bunch of them sprawled out on the couches, chatting animatedly about their ultimate moves. The greenette smiles when they greet him and moves to sit next to Shinsou, more than content to just curl up by his mellow friend's side and listen to the others as they ramble on about their day.

Kacchan, unsurprisingly, had no trouble coming up with multiple ideas for an ultimate move on just the first day of training. Sero complains loudly at how easy it is for a guy with a quirk like his, which leads to Uraraka reassuring him that he'll figure out an ultimate move soon.

Izuku lets out a sigh, leaning slightly against Shinsou, but then something Kirishima says catches his attention.

"- and I was surprised when All Might showed up."

Izuku blinks.

What.

"Yeah, he actually gave some pretty good advice," Uraraka says, "Not that he usually gives bad advice, but, you know…"

"Wait, what?" Izuku rasps. His friends glance over at him. "He shouldn't be fighting, he's still recovering!"

His mind wanders back to the last time he saw the hero earlier in the week during the home visits. He swears if All Might thinks he can jump right back into fighting before he's even finished shaking off the last of his injuries…

"Oh, don't worry, he wasn't fighting!" Uraraka reassures him.

"Yeah, I don't think he was even supposed to be teaching today," Kirishima adds, "He said he showed up 'cause he was bored."

Izuku pauses. Well. That does sound like something All Might would do. He's probably gotten a bit restless over the past week.

"Aizawa-sensei won't let him lift a finger while he's injured," Shinsou says beside Izuku, then he smirks. "'Cause he knows you'd kill them both if he did."

Izuku's lip twitches and looks away innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Shinsou snorts. The others continue talking for a few more minutes while the rest of their classmates slowly trickle into the room, having taken their own showers and changed out of their training clothes. Izuku tries not to immediately focus his attention on Todoroki when he walks into the room and instead concentrates on the conversation at hand, but it's really hard to ignore the boy when he decides to sit right next to him. Izuku ignores the flutter of his heart and carefully wiggles just a bit closer to Shinsou. Thankfully, his purple-haired friend either doesn't notice or is too tired to care.

After about twenty minutes of general chatter, the conversation eventually turns into class 1-A trying to figure out what to do for dinner. With the chaos of moving in, everyone was kind of scattered around so they all kind of just ended up doing their own thing for dinner yesterday, but tonight is their first of many nights to come eating together as a class. They've done it before during the summer camp, but now they're going to have to get used to figuring out how to successfully feed a large group of teenagers on a daily basis.

"While it's tempting to just have everyone cook for themselves, I don't think even this kitchen is quite big enough for twenty teenagers to be cooking individual dinners in every night," Ojiro says, glancing at the kitchen apprehensively. A few people reluctantly mutter their agreements.

"Perhaps we should make a rotation of some sort?" Yaoyorozu suggests, taking charge as class rep, "I'm sure we'll have to do that for most of the shared chores, but for cooking especially, so that no single person does more than their fair share."

"An excellent idea, Yaoyorozu-san!" Iida says enthusiastically, then pauses, "However, I'm sure that some people may not be as, well, gifted in the art of cooking as others-"

"*You*," Shinsou coughs into his elbow.

Glaring lightly, Iida ignores him and continues, "-What shall we do about that?"

"Can't have anyone dying from food poisoning," Shinsou supplies helpfully.

Yaoyorozu considers this. "Then maybe we should do the cooking in pairs? That way a more experienced cook can partner up with a less experienced cook and teach them. Plus, it would be safer to have two people in the kitchen rather than have one person cook alone in case there's an emergency."

The idea seems to go over well with their classmates. Izuku raises his hand.

"Kacchan's good at cooking," he volunteers his friend, despite already knowing how this is going to end.

Kacchan whips his head around to glare at him. "Fuck you, I'm great at cooking-" Izuku rolls his eyes "-but I'm not gonna waste my time teaching these losers how to do it!"

"Hey!" Kaminari exclaims.

"Meanie!" Ashido pouts.

"Kacchan," Izuku says with a disapproving tone. He still manages it pretty well despite his weak voice.

"I couldn't even teach you how to cook," Kacchan says snippily, "How do you expect these morons to do any better?"

"Hey!" Kaminari exclaims again.

"Yo, I'm crying a bit here." Ashido puts a hand to her chest in only somewhat mock offense.

Kirishima raises his hands before Kacchan can retort. "Hey, alright now," he says, "Yaoyorozu-san, Iida-kun, that's a great idea, but you know what? We never went out to eat yakiniku last night. How 'bout we do that instead? I did promise to treat you guys, after all!"

Izuku and a few others perk up at the idea.

"Sounds better than cooking," Sero says.

"Hell yeah!" Uraraka fist pumps excitedly. "Free food!"

"Guess I'd rather eat that than whatever garbage you extras would make," Kacchan grumbles.

"But- But-" Iida sputters, flailing his arms, "Cooking is a task we will need to accomplish daily, and we need to start becoming accustomed to our new lives-"

"We can start tomorrow, then." Shinsou shrugs, unconcerned. "If it bothers you that much, then consider this a group bonding exercise."

Iida looks like he might want to protest, but when the others express their enthusiasm, resigns himself with a sigh. Even Yaoyorozu's eyes are sparkling with excitement.

Izuku smiles, a little thrill going through his chest as he's swept up in the high of his friends' bubbly emotions. "This'll be fun!" He pipes up, "I'm pretty sure there's a yakiniku place not far from here- oh." A thought crosses his mind. "I think we have to turn in a permission form in order to leave campus first, though, but that shouldn't be too hard."

The chatter ceases. Everyone pauses, and then nineteen pairs of eyes land on him simultaneously. His heart gives a nervous flutter.

"What?"

There's a long pause, and then Ashido suggests, "Or we can just order?"

Murmurs of agreement immediately ripple through his classmates.

"Yeah, that's better."

"Let's do that."

"I'm down to stay in."

"Much easier anyways."

As their words filter through his ears, the familiar sharp claws of anxiety sink into his gut. He presses his lips into a thin, bloodless line, apprehension pricking his heart. What's going on here? They're all glancing at him nervously, eyes darting quickly and then looking away. Unease swirls within him, along with confusion.

"Don't you want to go out?" He presses, gazing at Kirishima imploringly.

The redhead straightens up, as if startled, and shakes his hands. "Oh no, it's alright, let's just stay in," he says, giving him a forced smile, "We're all pretty beat from training anyways."

The others jump in right away.

"Oh, yeah, I'm super tired!"

"Way too tired to go to a restaurant!"

"Let's just order dinner and watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, it's a lot less complicated, and we won't have to bother any teachers with the permission forms."

"Besides, it's not like your permission form would get approved anyways-"

"Dude!"

Sero hisses and elbows Kaminari in the ribs to shut him up. The electric blond yelps and shrinks under the glares of his classmates, but Izuku heard his comment loud and clear.

His permission form? Why wouldn't his- oh.

The remnants of the warm, cheerful mood seem to be extinguished instantly as cold reality washes over him. His throat tightens.

Well… no, it should be alright, shouldn't it? It's not like he's going alone, or even very far. He's not breaking any rules by going to a restaurant with his friends-

Right?

The room has gone silent, making it so that the footsteps approaching behind him are the only noticeable sound. His classmates' eyes are drawn above his head, and when the footsteps come to a stop, Izuku glances over his shoulder to see Aizawa gazing down at him. His expression is carefully blank and he doesn't say anything, but his dark eyes are analyzing, watching for a reaction.

The air has shifted, twisting into something tense, as if everyone is holding their breath, Izuku included. And- he doesn't understand. It shouldn't be that big of a problem. All he needs is a hero escort, right? Well, he has one right here, and he has nineteen heroes-in-training on top of that. How could he be any safer? Sure, they may have thought the same about the other two times, but- oh.

His breath hitches. After a moment, Izuku tries to swallow, but it gets caught in the hard ball that has suddenly formed in his throat. His skin prickles under the gazes of his classmates and- he doesn't like this. He doesn't like the way they're looking at him. Their eyes- they're full of pity.

Unable to stand it, he looks away and meets Aizawa's piercing gaze instead.

"No more mistakes."

Dread creeps in like an icy chill.

Oh.

"Am I... not allowed to leave?" His voice is small, weak, resigned. He already knows the answer.

There's a long, tense silence in which Aizawa doesn't respond, his dark eyes boring into Izuku's green ones.

When he does speak, his words come out slowly, like he's still trying to figure out what to say. "It's not that you aren't allowed to leave at all, it's just…" Aizawa lets out a soft sigh through his nose. "Not for things like that. Not for eating at restaurants, or mall trips, or grocery runs, or... things like that. If you're going to leave UA it needs to be for something important." He looks at Izuku solemnly. "And we need to be careful about it." His voice is gentle, but firm, and leaves no room for discussion.

Izuku nods slowly, numbly, and clenches his jaw in an attempt to force away the tears that burn at the edges of his eyes. Blinking rapidly, he ducks his head and lets his long curls hide his face, gripping his pants tightly as he tries to swallow down the frustration rising in his throat like bile. A hand drops on the back of his head and he squeezes his eyes shut, but it only ruffles his curls once before leaving, the footsteps fading away with it. He lets out a shaky exhale, struggling to control the emotions swirling within him.

He can't leave? He can't leave? Nobody told him about this! This- This is too far! He knows they want him to be safe, but they're basically taking away his freedom! He's a teenage boy, he should be allowed to go out with his friends and have fun. All For One is gone, and yeah, the League of Villains is still out there, but why does that mean he has to be trapped here? They're treating him like he's some sort of endangered species that needs to be put in a cage for its own safety. But this isn't safety, this is more like- like being told you're moving to a new home and then finding out you're actually being kept prisoner! That's pretty much exactly what happened! How do they expect him to live like this?

"So… uh," Kirishima's voice sounds muffled in his ears, "I guess I'll order the food then?"

His classmates murmur their agreements, still glancing at Izuku in concern, but the greenette doesn't respond. He stares down at his lap unseeingly, fists clenched.

A familiar, sickening feeling laps at his stomach like a wave, making it churn with nausea. It's a feeling that's tormented him all throughout his life, but he never thought his friends, his heroes would one day be the cause of it. Helplessness.

Everything is just so messed up. He's completely lost the life that he once had. He can't do anything that he used to do. From now on, his every action is dictated for him. Someone else will decide where he's allowed to go and why he's going and whether or not his reason to go is good enough. None of that is up to him anymore, and it makes indignation burn in his chest. Why isn't it? Why do they get to decide these things for him? Why is his safety their responsibility? He never asked for this!

"Have you ever actually had a choice in anything?" Shigaraki's voice purrs in his mind.

Izuku shakes the memory away immediately. Stop it.

But another one chases right after it. All For One's voice rumbles, "Healing quirks are already so rare to begin with, but once someone is born with one, their life immediately belongs to the heroes."

No, no, it's not that. It's not like that. They don't see him as- as a possession- that's not why they're doing this. The villains took him because they saw him that way, but the heroes… Izuku knows they're just doing this because they care about him. He doesn't belong to them in the way Shigaraki was trying to manipulate him into thinking he was, but he does belong to them in… some way, just like how they belong to him too. They're his heroes, and he's their healer. Of course they're going to be even more overprotective now.

Why does he still act like he's surprised? It's just something he has to keep getting used to. And he shouldn't act like he's not grateful for the security anyways. He shouldn't act like he doesn't have nightmares about being kidnapped again every single night, so why does he feel this way? He should feel safe- he does feel safe, he knows he is, he knows there's no safer place than where he is right now, but still it isn't enough- he still had a nightmare last night, even though he's safe, even though there's literally no way anyone could lay a hand on him! God, he's so tired, what's wrong with him? Why is he so selfish? His heroes are trying to protect him, but all it's doing is making him feel trapped! Why can't he just- just be okay ?!

Despite the turmoil of emotions inside of him, he's strangely numb all throughout dinner. His friends try to keep the mood bright and engage him in conversation, but he stays quiet, half-heartedly picking at his food and not quite tasting it. After about ten minutes of this, he finally gives up and excuses himself, ignoring his friends' protests as he retreats into his room, buries himself under his covers, and promptly falls asleep.

The next morning, Izuku decides to go on a run.

A couple of things prompt this idea. The first one being that he was woken up by a nightmare, which is unfortunate, but at this point, unsurprising. The second being that, since Recovery Girl doesn't want him to study outside of training hours, he can't pass the time by reading his medical books anymore. Well, technically he could, but his mentor has a way of finding things out and he doesn't want to risk pissing her off and making her cancel his exam. Besides, he's not too keen on putting in even more hours of studying today.

So that leads him to where he is now. It's 4:45AM, and Izuku is in the lounge dressed in leggings and a light jacket, taking the time to stretch as he waits for the next fifteen minutes to pass. If he recalls correctly, students are allowed to leave the dorms between the hours of 5AM and 7PM, so this should be okay, right? It's not like he's leaving campus…

Once the clock hits 5AM, Izuku quietly opens the front door and slips out. Since it's so early, the sky is still dark outside, with only the palest hints of light just beginning to breach the edge of the horizon, and the air is cool and damp.

As Izuku starts up a brisk jog, a hulking figure in the distance catches the edge of his vision. Hound Dog.

The canid teacher's yellow eyes glint in the low light as they land on him and Izuku tenses up, stopping. For a moment, he's certain he's about to get in trouble, but then Hound Dog huffs and glances away, continuing on with his patrol. Izuku lets out a sigh of relief and starts up his jog again.

It's a quiet morning. Rather strange to see the usually busy campus so empty. He goes to a smaller track field next to one of the gyms and runs there. On the start of his second lap, he catches sight of Ectoplasm. It's just a glimpse as he runs by, but it's clear that the teacher is watching him. He doesn't spot him again when he passes by the second time, though. Izuku huffs.

They're just doing their job, he tells himself. They're just worried about him, just watching over him. That's what he wanted, isn't it? That's what Inko always wanted for him. To join the world of heroes as a healer. To have their protection. It's part of their symbiotic relationship. He knows this. The healers heal the heroes and the heroes provide protection for them. He knows this. He shouldn't be mad at his friends or his teachers for doing their job. It's not their fault he doesn't know his place…

A bitter taste fills his mouth.

He sighs. It wasn't this hard before. But… if there's anyone he should be mad at, it's the villains. They're the ones who messed up everything. And they're still messing up everything even though they lost.

The cool morning air whips past him as he runs. The sting of it against his skin coupled with the rush of physical exertion helps him shake off the remnants of sleep, but despite this, the ever-present exhaustion that weighs down his bones still remains. Izuku can't even tell what it's from at this point, forcing his quirk or lack of sleep. All he knows is that he's tired, so, so tired. And he's so tired of being tired. He wants to be better already. He doesn't want to be scared at night anymore. It's so stupid, he was rescued, he's safe, why can't his brain get the message?

Even though he was saved, Izuku feels like he still hasn't escaped sometimes. And now it's in more ways than one. Sure, he's not being held captive by the villains anymore, but all he did was get shoved right back into another place that he can't leave from. He's either trapped by the villains or trapped by the heroes.

The thought immediately brings a wave of guilt along with it. Inhaling deeply, he lets out a frustrated groan as he exhales and pours on speed. For a few minutes, he doesn't let himself focus on anything except for running as fast as he can. It's only when his legs are burning and his lungs feel like they're about to burst does he finally start to slow down to a steady pace.

'But it will get better,' he tells himself firmly. It sucks now but that's just because there was a big battle and the League of Villains got away and everyone's just a little bit on edge. But once some time passes people will start to calm down. Surely when the League is stopped the heroes will relax around him? Maybe he won't regain his freedom completely, but they'll probably loosen up on the security measures a bit. It's kind of ridiculous to think that he could live like this forever.

Izuku reaches up and wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his wrist. He'll feel better about this situation once these stupid nightmares are over. Maybe then he'll finally feel safe. Maybe then he can stop being selfish and appreciate all that his heroes are doing to protect him.

It's not like they mean to take his freedom from him. He could see the pity in their eyes last night- they feel bad that they have to do this. He needs to think about their point of view. This is hard on them too. He knows his friends- seeing him upset probably made them feel bad. He can't let himself be miserable all the time, that'll only make them worry about him even more, and that'll make him feel even worse-

So caught up in his thoughts, he accidentally stumbles, but he manages to catch himself before he can face-plant on the floor. Straightening up, he gasps for breath and continues jogging. His body bounces lightly as his feet pound against the tarmac, the rhythmic thumping and the pounding of his own heartbeat in his ears being the only sounds he hears.

Running has always felt good to him, the rush of endorphins, the burning of his muscles. It's a simple task he can do while he clears his head, organizing the jumble of thoughts and emotions into something he can try to understand.

Actually, it's kind of making him feel just a little bit better. He's missed this. Missed the physical exertion of a long, exhausting run. It makes him think of the runs he would go on with Kacchan back in middle school before UA when they were still taking self-defense classes with Kimura. Which reminds him- when is he going to start his own physical training again? Aizawa is busy preparing the others for their provisional license exam, but maybe he can ask him if they can train for an hour or two afterwards? Shinsou is no doubt way ahead of him at this point, and he'll probably be too tired from his regular training to do any extra training with Izuku. The greenette wonders if he'll use his capture weapon in one of his ultimate moves.

On that note, becoming more adept with his own capture weapon might help Izuku feel better. It might help him feel safer, to be stronger. That's a problem that he was having earlier, right? It's one thing to have confidence in others' ability to protect you, but it's another to have confidence in your ability to protect yourself. Maybe it'll help make the nightmares go away…

He thinks of Shinsou's words. "Listen, it's good that you wanna get strong, but you should do it for the right reasons. Do it for you."

That's a good reason to get stronger, right? He is doing it for himself. He's doing it because he wants to feel better.

Izuku runs until the sky is stained with pink and orange hues, then returns to the dorm building so he can start getting ready for school. He slows down when he reaches the steps and takes his hair out of his ponytail, idly running his hand through his sweaty curls as he pushes open the door and-

"What do you mean you haven't seen him?! Where the fuck else could he-"

Kacchan is standing in the middle of the common area, wild-eyed and panting as he snarls at Ojiro and Sato sitting at the table with their breakfast. At the sound of the door opening, he whips his head around to fix his fiery gaze on Izuku. His eyes widen for a brief moment before he storms over.

"You!" He roars so loudly that Izuku flinches, "Where the fuck were you?! I went to your room and you weren't there!"

Izuku blinks, stunned, confused, and a little scared. "I-I just went on a run…" He replies hesitantly. He doesn't understand why Kacchan's so pissed off. It's not exactly an odd thing for him to do.

Kacchan knows this too. He stops halfway before reaching him, face twitching a couple of times, before he snaps, "Well, fucking leave a note next time or something!"

Izuku frowns. "A note?"

Kacchan seems to realize the ridiculousness of his request and shakes his head, growling in frustration as he stammers, "I mean- or text me or something, just- fuck it, nevermind, just- nevermind!" His voice rises into a shout and he shoves his fists into his pockets, glaring at the ground furiously.

Silence descends upon the common area. Everyone that's already up and eating breakfast watches the exchange with wary eyes.

Izuku pauses. He can practically hear the way Kacchan's teeth are grinding as he burns holes into the ground with his glare. But looking closer, he can see that the muscles on his arms are taut, and that he's panting, catching his breath, as if he had just been running. Running throughout the building looking for him because he was scared shitless that he'd been kidnapped again.

Oh.

Crap.

Guilt claws at his stomach. Kacchan probably just went to check on him, maybe to make sure he actually woke up since he knows he's a slow starter in the mornings because they're best friends and freaked out when he didn't see him there. Izuku is sure if he checks his phone now- which is still on mute from last night- he'll see a bunch of missed messages from the blond.

Izuku swallows.

Slowly, he takes a step closer to Kacchan, then another step, gradually closing the distance between them until he's standing right in front of him. Kacchan doesn't look up, but he does incline his head slightly when Izuku gently places his hands on his forearms.

Leaning close, Izuku murmurs, "I'm sorry."

Kacchan stays silent, but he lets out a soft sigh through his nose. A small amount of the tension melts out of his shoulders.

Izuku gives his forearms a brief squeeze, then brushes past him and starts walking towards the elevator.

He's not the only one trying to recover.