See you Later, Eren Chapter 11
Title: The World the Girl Will Fight for
Welcome back to SYLE Sunday! I kinda like how that acronym rolls off the tongue haha. Not much to say, so I hope you enjoy! -Y
Response to The r3wr1t3r: Thank you for the review! Don't worry, you don't actually make me feel guilty about not writing, it's more just me being disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to fulfill a promise. I like your coping mechanism, as those added pages are certainly easy to laugh at. I'm glad you've been liking these developments! Adult Mikasa is definitely OP in my eyes, especially considering she got another three years of cadet training, and you'll see a lot more of that in this chapter. I'm happy you appreciated the Franz and Hannah detail, too! I thought that moment was really cute, showing that Eren on some level thinks of Mikasa whenever he sees romance, which is adorable. "Dedicated" isn't a compliment I've heard too much, but that means a great deal! I often get worried that one day I'll lose passion for this story for whatever reason, and so I really want to get as many words down as I can before that time comes, if it comes. I'm not sure how long weekly updates will last, as there will likely come a time where my schedule gets too busy to consistently promise an update so often, but I've still got plenty in me to maintain a chapter every Sunday for a long time, and reviews like yours help me so much! I hope you enjoy!
Response to dareaderreads: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad I was able to adequately express the chaos of the fall of Trost, especially in Mikasa's mind. The Trost arc was also the moment when I really got hooked on the story as well, the specific moment probably being when Mikasa cried as she held onto Eren's unconscious body. It was the first scene that brought me to tears because we had gotten so used to this cold Mikasa, to see her break down was so powerful, and I remember thinking to myself "this story's gonna be good" haha. That means so much that I was able to capture the despair and dread she felt to you, as thanks to you I know I am still doing a good job and conveying the emotions of these characters effectively. You're too kind, but as long as my fics continue to immerse you into these characters and this world, we're both happy! Your reviews fill me with so much confidence and motivation you have no idea. Glad you liked the Ymir/Mikasa convo too haha, I thought that scene would be pretty funny, cause without context the stuff Mikasa and Ymir talk about makes no sense lol. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!
Response to kaffeenator666: Thank you so much for the review! I typed out my full response to your stuff about the added pages, but then at the end I saw that you wanted to keep most of your review about my own fic from now on, and I found myself agreeing. For that reason, I'll simply say here that your opinions on 139 are more clear to me now, and I think I understand you better. I absolutely love discussing this with you though, so to that end I will PM you my full response, and I'd love to see your elaboration on your views towards the Eren breakdown scene. Anyways, thanks so much for your thoughts! I love your description of Reiner putting Mikasa into "checkmate," as that's a very apt way of putting it. She truly can't do a damn thing about it haha. It's an impossible situation now, her choosing between Eren transforming, which she doesn't want, and Wall Rose falling, which she also doesn't want. She's got to take the L somewhere. The big question, will Eren become a titan. I won't say much so as to maintain the suspense, but I hope you find my answer satisfying and interesting in the end. Ymir certainly is the one wild card that could change everything, and I just think it's interesting that, at the time you posted your review, I had just written a monologue for Mikasa that details her predicament in a very similar way to how you describe it, so props to you for being such an astute reader! I'd be happy to give you my thoughts on AoT no requiem as well. Personally, the whole idea that Eren would even consider killing his friends, especially Mikasa and Armin, seems too out of character to me. I know that he lives with guilt for the rest of his life, which is interesting and a realistic outcome of his actions, but I don't think he would ever consider doing something like that in the first place. However I absolutely hate that so many people who liked 139 give this fanfiction such a hard time. It's fan fiction! Everyone is entitled to give their own version of Attack on Titan. Heck, I'd be a massive hypocrite to disapprove of Aot no requiem because I'm writing a fanfiction right now. I have seen both sides of the argument, and there is something to be said about the fact that they're kinda making it out of a desire to "write a better ending," which in my opinion is not a healthy mentality to have when writing fan fiction, but in the end the motivation they have for writing the fic is irrelevant. Unfortunately, thanks to a lot of toxicity from both sides, I think Aot no requiem will go down in history as a story that was made purely "by entitled fans who didn't get the ending they wanted," which is a narrative I think is untrue, but one that will stain the legacy of the fic nonetheless. As always, I appreciate your thoughts on the chapter and I hope you enjoy! oh and to answer your question I'm a dude :p
Response to Byakko-179: Thanks so much for the great review! Yeah Mikasa screaming Reiner doesn't seem like the best tactical choice, we'll see what consequences, if any, it bears later. And thank you for your compliments on the Franz and Hannah moment, I thought it was really cute. It can certainly be interpreted to be a callback to the chapter 50 scene, but the image I had in my head was of Eren and Mikasa hugging in the paths dream in 138. I used the same wording "one last time" as I did in the first chapter of the fic. Yes, Ymir has a lot to find out from Mikasa, and it may put some discord in the relationship, we'll have to see. The question of Eren's memories is one of the biggest mysteries of the story, so I won't say anything other than I definitely have a plan on where to take it, and I hope you find it interesting! Your suggestion about Mikasa coming to a greater understanding about the futility of her attempts to change the future is very interesting. Futility isn't the major theme of the story I intend to go with, but I will say her struggle to understand Eren and why he did what he did is one of the biggest conflicts of the fic, so I think you'll enjoy where I take it. To answer your final question, I did consider having Historia's child as Eren's at one point, specifically before chapter 139 where the possibility of that actually being canon was in the air. I think it would be fascinating to see Mikasa's struggle there, but I may as well confirm to you that it is not something I'm going to pursue with this story. I think staying focused on the conflict of Mikasa trying to change the future while also trying to understand Eren is what I'm going to do, and it has enough tension to fill that space. I don't really see the "Eren doing it out of duty not love" sort of thing, because there really is no "duty" to it. He has no reason for him specifically to be the father, and whether it was duty or not I think would take focus away from that romantic struggle between Mikasa and Eren. If he actually does love Hisu, I think it would be an interesting character study to see Mikasa struggle with the fact that Eren loves someone else, but I'm writing a mutual romance, so definitely not something I feel the need to do :p. Plus, I'm such a biased EM shipper that I don't know if I could do such a concept justice, despite how interesting it is. Overall, though, I appreciate your suggestions and thoughts, they were a joy to read. And as always I hope you enjoy!
It's going to rain.
"Did it rain last time?"
She remembers it raining. But she wasn't paying a lot of attention to the weather. In fact, why is she paying attention to it now?
It's still sunny, but the clouds are congregating, growing thicker, growing darker. It won't be another two hours before it rains. Despite the puffy vortex that stares down at her, a whole group of them dancing impossibly high, everything feels still. She doesn't remember things being so desolate back in the rearguard, but she supposes it makes sense. The vanguard will die, maybe producing a few lucky stragglers. The middle guard will do most of the heavy lifting for the next few hours, but they'll fall apart eventually. The elite divisions will retreat behind Wall Rose before they have to do anything too impossible.
So, their task is to simply pick off the titans that made it out of the battle, the ones that wandered far enough away from the fight in search of helpless civilians.
It's been an hour, and they've killed... two? Maybe three? Mikasa didn't directly participate in any of the eliminations. She needs to conserve her gas and her blades, for when it matters.
She sympathizes with the giants. She knows their true nature, humans living in a unending hellscape that simply seek to be human again, but it's best if she doesn't think about it. Her goal is not to save the titans, her goal is to save Eren.
Mikasa lets out a breath. Looking to her right, she sees her superior, Captain Dietrich. He's a man of average build, lean, blond, and a transfixed frown on his face, courtesy of being a veteran of the Military for so many years. It took some time, but she remembers him. He's the one she glared knives at when he considered abandoning the operation to have Eren plug the hole with a rock. Abandoning the mission entailed abandoning Eren, and she wasn't about to do something like that.
He also called Eren her boyfriend...
"Focus," she warns herself. Despite nobody having insight on her thoughts other than her, she feels her face grow hot in self-consciousness. Something as inconsequential as that should not be at the forefront of her mind right now. She supposes standing around and doing nothing for an extended amount of time will make her mind wander, regardless of the situation. She really couldn't have been placed in a worse spot, she thinks.
Her squad is in the rear, the edge of town. They look over the evacuating civilians and kill the occasional titan, but this is the last place Reiner would be. He's not the Colossal Titan, he's guarded from Mikasa's eyes by building after building, and if he's still in his titan form, he'd probably be near the center. Despite what she told Ymir, she's in no place to be looking for Reiner.
At this point, she's realized she only has time for one mission: to keep Eren alive and unharmed at all costs. If he gets hurt, he may heal it off without noticing, depending on the size of the wound. But if he's crippled and forced to heal back a leg or an arm, there's nothing she can do. Maybe she could convince him he was hallucinating having ever lost a limb at all?
"Don't be ridiculous." No. She has to keep it from happening at all costs.
She doesn't have time to both ensure Eren's safety and look for Reiner. That's not even to mention Bertholdt, who will very likely break down Wall Rose before the end of the day. She can only assume the reason they didn't breach Rose last time was because they were waiting for titans to gather in Trost, and then were interrupted by the revelation that Eren was a titan shifter.
So she's stuck in an impossible predicament. Either she lets Eren transform to keep Rose from falling, or keeps him from transforming and lets Rose fall. Many will die either way. Though, going purely by the math, letting Wall Rose fall is the better option. But then again, who knows what that could result in.
There she goes again. Arguing with herself.
However, there is one factor that could change everything. Ymir. If she's successful in finding Annie and Bertholdt, and even Reiner if he's left his titan, then she could kill them and make things easier. Sure, they may know about Ymir's titan already, since they knew about Mikasa. And, of course, she'd be fighting three titan shifters at once if the element of surprise fails her, with no guarantee that her fellow trainees will support her. And obviously this is assuming she bothers to fight them at all, with the possibility that she prioritizes Historia in the same way Mikasa's prioritizing Eren.
Ymir still has to find the three first, too, which isn't guaranteed.
Another sigh. Mikasa bows her head. She'll have to leave it up to fate. Like she established earlier, she's in no position to affect how things go with the shifters anymore. She can't let Eren transform. Right now, she has her own struggle to deal with. An entirely separate predicament ails her, which is her ability to actually get to Eren. Obviously she wants to get that accomplished as soon as possible, but she's under direct orders to stay in the rear guard.
She doesn't really remember how she was allowed to leave the elite squadron last time, but she knows it was far after Eren was eaten, so it's not really relevant. Just like with Trost and the fall of Wall Rose, she's forced into a lose-lose situation with just finding Eren. She could leave now, and would easily be able to avoid any attempt to halt her by her comrades, but the penalty of desertion is death. Sure, she's not deserting, per say, but explaining that to her superiors before she leaves isn't likely to make things any easier. If she was so reluctant to kill the warriors so she wouldn't be hanged, why risk her life now?
But then... when will be her opportunity to get to Eren? She can't wait another hour, right?. Of course she didn't ask for the exact time of death when Armin first revealed that Eren died all those years ago, who would? But that information would have been fairly useful right about now. She has nothing close to a precise window of time when Eren might have been devoured. He could be in a titan's belly right now, even, but the only reason she hasn't hurried straight for him is because the vanguard is doing most of fighting still, so it's unlikely.
It's only a matter of time, though. And with each passing minute, Mikasa grows more jittery, more anxious, more afraid.
"Breathe, Mikasa. Breathe." her hands don't shake, but she lets her fingers tap incessantly on the grips of her blades. The taps feel more rhythmic than her own heart at the moment, despite her attempts to steady it.
Should she wait? Should she go? She doesn't know. She truly doesn't know what to do for the first time in years, and it terrifies her. Thoughts of Eren fill her mind, bringing her both solace and conviction, but it does little to abate her dread. If anything, it scares her more.
She's treading on thin ice. She made a fatal error with the warriors. One more, and she might lose everything. Everything.
She closes her eyes. "Eren. You are going to save Eren. Anything is worth that."
Her stomach churns. If she's too late, it's all over. The permanence of everything triggers her fight or flight response, tells her to fight, but she can't... not without making the situation worse. But what is she waiting for? What is she hoping for? For there to be a chance for her to leave with permission? A chance that takes place before it all happens? What if it's already happened, all because she was too stupid, too damn trepidatious? She's taking every step with apprehension, careful not to make a single creak, but if she wants to make it she has to run.
The silence is deafening. She almost wants a titan to come by just so she can waste her energy on something. But then, she hears it.
"Squad 30 has been engaged by titans!" a young cadet, likely assigned to relay information to the rearguard, reports to the captain.
Mikasa's heart stops, and her body flushes with blood as she remembers that Eren and Armin belonged to squad 34. "Go, Mikasa, now!"
Dietrich nods. "Send in squads 31 through 35 for support."
The cadet gives a shaky but impassioned salute before yelling "Roger!" and flying away. Mikasa gulps, knowing that now, truly, she has no more time.
"Captain, please allow me to intercept squad 34." she lets out. She shocks herself with how steady her voice is, contradicting the uncertainty that blazes in her mind. What doesn't boost her confidence, though, is her captain's reaction. His eyes widen slightly, though not as much as she expected, before seemingly gauging her intentions with his solid glare.
"For what purpose, Ackerman?"
She stays silent for a moment, searching for the right, most believable excuse to use, but her pause seems to tick something in the captain's mind. He lifts his hand to keep her from speaking. "I'm not going to let you abandon your comrades for Jaeger."
Mikasa's eyes widen, inviting Dietrich to the silent question. "Of course I read the file on the best trainee in the 104th. I know you're close with him, to the point that you're willing to throw away higher goals to keep him safe."
She stutters her next words out, surprised by the ease and simplicity with which he's denying her pleas. "C-Captain, it isn't about that, I need to get there as quickly as possible."
"He's in squad 34, right? If you have a different reason for wishing to leave your station, I want to hear it."
Silence ensues, with nothing but the wind, the faraway clamor of ODM gear, and the light sounds of shock that come out of the audience of elite Garrison members that surround them. Telling him the truth is easier said than done. She doesn't have enough time, even if she thought it was worth telling him everything.
"Ackerman, this fight isn't about you. You swore an oath to the king to dedicate your heart and give your life. What's more important, the fate of humanity, or one boy?"
"You don't know anything..." she thinks, frowning deeply at the captain's blind insistence. Her anxiousness still remains, but now a storm of impatience and desperation cloud her eyes. "You can't stop me from going to him. I have to go to him." She knows her words won't make anything easier for her, but at this point she doesn't care. Images of Eren flash in her head, of his embrace, of his warmth, and his eyes, a beacon to the world, one which will be set on a course of permanent change if he discovers his titan power.
"There are thousands of civilians in Trost. They have families, too, and the penalty for desertion is death! If you can't think about others, think about yourself!"
"I've had three years to think." She walks past her captain, and he lets her. The slight amount of confusion at her words quickly dissipates from his face once he realizes what she's about to do.
"Wait, Ackerman! Don't throw away your life!"
She jumps, hooking onto a nearby building and flying away at top speed, just to ensure they don't make chase.
It's funny, she thinks. Despite him being so utterly unaware about why she's doing what she's doing, she feels affected by Dietrich's words. People will die because of her choice, and it forces an oppressive guilt onto her, knowing that. But it was inevitable as soon as Reiner crashed through the gate. Eren, though... he can still be saved. It fills her with endless frustration and fear of the unknown, knowing that she'll have to deal with the consequences of abandoning the Military later, but she simply does not and cannot think about it now.
She had a choice, and she made it. Always, she'll always choose Eren. She'll always choose her home.
Eren barrels through the air as fast as he can. The wind attacks his eyes, but he's had years of training to get accustomed to that. He's had years of training for this exact moment, in fact. His squad is about to advance and get into the fight. This is where it begins... the end of the titans.
He feels like a shooting star, rocketing towards the titans with lethal intent, to mark the beginning of humanity's counterattack. The road will be tough, and it will be long, but he's ready. He feels an extraordinary amount of strength flow through him as he thinks about freedom, about what he'll achieve for his friends and for humanity as a whole.
Even though he hasn't come into contact with any titans, he feels like a true soldier, someone people look up to when their homes and lives are being toppled by the titans, someone with strength.
"You couldn't save your mother... because you lacked strength" he remembers Hannes' words perfectly, he has for so long now. "Not anymore..." he reminds himself.
He runs across a building at such an impressive speed that his legs struggle to keep him on balance, all because of the inertia of his gas. Though before he has to worry about falling over, he's already ran across the entire rooftop, hooking once again and hurtling ever closer to his goal.
It isn't long before titans are in his sight. In fact, it hasn't been long enough. Eren gasps, his eyes widen, as he takes in the sight before him. An entire group of them, at least twenty, not far away. There's no vanguard to be seen, but plenty of carnage and blood. Surely, there's no possible way the vanguard has already fallen, it's only been an hour...
And the other squads. 31, 32, 33, and 35, they're nowhere.
"Look at all those titans!" Mina exclaims.
"The vanguard's been routed!" Thomas voices the concerns of everyone in the group. "What are they doing, after all their boasting?" Milieus adds.
"I never thought this would be easy, but this is-" Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a titan straight ahead of them, hiding, as if preparing to ambush like a fox. He's barely able to let out "An abnormal! Stop!" before it leaps with unbelievable force, launching itself high into the air and coming at them with a speed that catches Eren almost wholly off guard. Through some miracle of muscle memory, he dodges in time, they all do, and it slams its face square into a nearby bell tower.
Changing course rapidly, Eren is able to get out only a single puff of gas before landing on top of a slanted roof. He slides down, but grabs the edge with his right hand, avoiding a plummet straight down.
He remembers to breathe. "Abnormals aren't rare, Eren, snap out of it!" and he does, regaining his bearings quickly and looking back at his comrades, who have all seemed to land on the roof. Before he can begin a headcount, he notices their impossibly wide eyes, the color drained from their face, and he turns his head to see what's stolen their gaze.
The abnormal is hugging the roof, shifting its body to stand upright again, which allows him to see its head.
His heart sinks, it drowns, and then it boils.
Thomas...
He's hanging right out of its mouth, back bent too far for humans and nose bashed into his skull. Eren's comrade, the one he spent three years training with, learning with, fighting with... the one he convinced to join the Scouts and aid humanity...
His face is shocked, either of sheer surprise, or of betrayal, because Eren promised him something different than this. The titan peeks its head to the side, mocking him, and it makes him seethe. He can almost hear Thomas' fearful cry as the titan raises its chin and swallows, the lump of his friend traveling down its throat.
He's speechless, they all are.
And it's walking away. It's walking away and Eren blood boils. "How dare you?!"
He soars towards it, shaking from the rattle of the gear or his own rage, he doesn't know which. "Stop, you piece of shit!"
Gravity tugs him downwards and he uses it to gain further momentum, shooting through the air. "I'll avenge Thomas..." his voice fumes in a low hum, the sadistic edge of it ready to make this titan die, make it suffer. "I won't let you get away!"
A scream of pure fury rumbles from the pit of his throat, but as he goes to slash, he hears Armin's voice not far behind. "Eren!"
Nack's voice, "Stop! Don't go alone!"
"Slow down!" Milieus screams.
"Wait!" Mina shouts.
"Wait"
"Wait..."
Wait.
...
"Wait," Mikasa halts him. "Your form isn't right." She walks up to him to adjust his arms. Eren just lets out a sigh, irritated that he has to spend his time with this. He's been at it for hours! The promise of personal training with the best cadet in the corps sounded enticing at first, if a bit hurtful to his pride, because of course that best cadet was Mikasa. Around an hour in, however, he quickly realized that this training was far too... how does he even put it? Boring? Unstructured? Not at all relevant? Just an exercise in Mikasa kicking his ass?
They stand alone, in a small clearing of trees within the forest. He thought most trainees aren't allowed this far into the woods on their own, but apparently Mikasa is an exception. It seems that her skill is starting to result in a bit of favoritism from Shadis.
"If I wanted to practice my form for killing titans, wouldn't it be better if I was actually in the air first?" he lets out, a bit sarcastically. She doesn't respond, giving him a light glare. "Besides, I'm not an expert in 'theory,' but this seems too complicated for ODM training."
"It is. It's supposed to be versatile, allowing you to change course quicker in case of a sudden attack."
Eren scoffs. "I know titans are fast, but this is too much, Mikasa. I'm not fighting other people with ODM gear, here." She makes a face, staring into space somewhat and growing somber, but Eren's long given up questioning her when she tends to do that.
"I know you're not fighting humans. Normally this technique is more trouble than it's worth, which is why you're not taught it unless you read some of the books and learn it yourself. For teamwork, a simpler form is more efficient, but you tend to go out on your own, which is why I'm teaching you this."
"I do not."
"Yes, you do."
He huffs.
"I thought you wanted to know every way you could defeat the titans. If you learn this, you'll be more skilled."
He shakes out of her grip. Even though they abandoned getting back into form due to their conversation, she's still holding on. "I do. I just wonder if I'm going to learn it by the time we graduate. At this rate, I'm not sure." He scratches is head idly, ignoring Mikasa's frown at his uncooperative attitude.
"This isn't something you just learn. It's more like a way of thinking. Stay alert, and be ready to change at a moments notice, from any angle."
"If it's just some philosophy, then why are you adjusting my arms and legs?"
"Because it helps."
His shoulders drop with the disappointing answer. It may be marginally beneficial, but training like this definitely isn't something he's going to continue. At this rate, he'll miss out on actual training that'll be more helpful.
...
"Stay alert, be ready to change at a moments notice."
"From any angle."
Eren sees it, at the very bottom of his vision, a wide smile sitting right between the houses he's moving over. He gasps, attempting to adjust his gas straight upwards to avoid the titan completely, but in his haste he panics, instead only changing slightly forward to dodge the titan in time, which sends him barreling face first into the tiled roof. He feels his face break through the slate thanks to his breakneck speed, chipping through it and giving his face a thousand tiny cuts. His inertia catching up to him, he flips over, again and again, rolling towards each window and slamming into them with incredible force. Everything is lost in a blur as his sense of gravity vanishes and he closes his eyes to shield them from any tiny chips. His ears ring, deafening the world around him.
He's still in one piece, but his senses fail him. He's disoriented in every way, but the blows to his head render him too weak to care.
Muffled voices sound through the intense ringing, though he can make out the use of two syllables, which clue him to the fact that his comrades are shouting his name.
"Wait... Thomas... I'll avenge you."
"I'll avenge you..."
"You'll die, titan. You'll die."
Some kind of slam is heard. It's wet. And a feminine gasp follows. Then a grunt, and another slam.
Screaming.
"Wait..."
His fingers loosen, and his blades fall from his grip. Where to, he does not know.
And there are so many vibrations.
He feels the blood that once flowed throughout his body leaving him. His fingers grow fuzzy and the world grows dark. Even though his eyes are already closed, it grows darker.
But there's another scream. It doesn't matter if the ringing still blasts throughout his head, he knows that scream. He'll know it until the day he dies.
Armin.
Armin.
"Armin..."
...
"Eren! Eren! Erennn!"
Eren lowers his gaze from the cloudy sky to see his enthusiastic friend, holding some kind of book. It's a book, Armin's holding a book. But the smile on his face, the shine in his eyes, couldn't be more pronounced. He resists the urge to sigh. "Only Armin would get excited over some book."
But Eren's so bored, he decides that he'll humor his blond friend. His only friend.
"What's wrong, Armin?" he lets out in a painfully bored voice. Armin kneels, completely unabated.
"My grandpa was hiding this... A book about the outside world!"
Eren sits up straighter, his interest piqued. "The outside world? You aren't supposed to have that! The Military Police will arrest you."
"Forget all that..."
"Huh?"
Armin kneels down, red tinting his cheeks in pure elation. "It says that the majority of the world is covered by a huge body of water called the 'sea.' And it's all saltwater!"
"Salt?" Eren stutters out in disbelief. "No way! Salt's worth a fortune! The merchants would take it all."
"It's too big to take it all!"
Eren laughs. "There's no way..." There's no way something so impossible could be real. This is probably closer to some fairy tale than a real book about the outside world. But his eyes... they're so full of glee, just looking at them makes Eren want to believe it.
"And there's more..." Armin opens the book to reveal such intricate drawings of these fantastic, unbelievable sights. "Flaming water! Frozen earth! Plains of sand, white as snow! I'm sure the outside world is many times bigger than the world inside the walls!"
"The outside world..."
…why... does it all feel so real? Flaming water? It doesn't make sense, but... it feels real.
The sea? Why... why does he feel like he's seen it before?
"Also..." Armin continues, "This is still a secret, okay? But my mom and dad say they're going beyond the walls soon."
"The outside world!" is all Eren can say. It's wonder, it's beauty... and the only ones who can see it are those who are free...
Right?
"Hey, Eren? Wouldn't it be great if, one day, we could go explore the outside world, too?"
...
He can see. He can hear. He can feel.
With all the strength he has left, he jumps, shooting towards the titan that's just dropped Armin into its mouth. He can hear Armin's scream grow louder as he approaches, and he jumps into the mouth, grabbing the last remnant of his friend in the form of his hand, using his other one to anchor himself to the titan's teeth.
He grunts, his strength failing him, but he keeps pulling. Armin is stuttering, stunned by Eren's entrance, and they lock eyes.
"The sea... his eyes look just like it."
And with a final roar, he pulls Armin completely out, and onto the roof outside.
"Eren!"
He places his hands on either side of the mouth, forcing it open, with a power he didn't know he had.
"I can't die here..."
He stretches his hand, the cool air clashing against the thick humidity of the organic walls that surround him.
The outside world... Armin told him about-
Wait.
Wait a second.
Why did the titan's mouth get so much bigger? Why is he in the throat?
Why is Mikasa here too?
Why does she look so sad?
Why is she running towards him, bringing a sword to his throat?
…Why does she look so beautiful?
Mikasa...
He's going to miss her.
"MIKASAAAA!" Armin's voice calls out, and Eren is back in the moment, back to struggling with the titan's jaw. He can feel it about to snap, about to sever his arm and swallow him whole.
But, in an instant, it gets lighter, he's starting to push back against it... and the titan's falling. He falls out of its mouth before it crashes mightily into the street. He feels warm arms wrap around him before he can land next to it.
"Eren!" she cries.
It's her.
"Mikasa!" he returns. And she lands on the roof, next to Armin. Eren tumbles out of her embrace and lands on his back, coughing. Armin sobs as he holds Eren, but he doesn't have the strength to reciprocate. He looks at Mikasa, who leans on a window, thoroughly out of breath. Her eyes are wide, horrified.
"You almost..." she lets out.
Eren closes his eyes.
"He almost... he was so close..."
Mikasa struggles to breathe. If she had been just a few seconds later, it would have all been over. Another moment wasting her time on Captain Dietrich, a misplaced hook with her ODM gear, another titan to get in her way, anything else to delay her, and Eren would have transformed.
That horrifying sight, of Eren throwing Armin out of the titan's mouth and reaching through the teeth, it made Mikasa stronger than she's ever been in her entire life. Nothing mattered, only that the titan needed to die, and with inhuman speed, she cut it.
Now she stands, barely. Her knees are weak from fear, fear of what might have happened if she was just a moment too late. She lets out a deep sigh, but it's strained, and she puts a hand over her mouth to stop herself from vomiting.
If there was ever a god in this cruel world, she'd be thanking it, thanking it for the rest of her life. But now isn't the time to cry. Now isn't the time to melt in Eren's arms. Now isn't even a time to be happy. She has to be strong.
She hovers over the two as Armin dries his tears and Eren blinks slowly, and her heart curls in her chest, both from anxiety and concern. Eren is bleeding, all over, and it's clear that although Mikasa has bought herself more time, things aren't finished yet. Eren could still transform.
"He could probably heal those cuts in an instant if he wanted to, but he doesn't know he can do that. Does that lengthen the healing time, then?" she wonders to herself. It will be almost fully healed in a couple of hours, which is still faster than normal humans, but it's believable, right? It won't tip Eren off to the truth?
He would never get the idea that he's a titan based off of quick healing, but would memories be coming to him based off that knowledge? She honestly doesn't know why he remembered Grisha's basement when he did, in the last timeline. It wasn't exactly a great moment to get a flashback, but he got it anyways. She can only assume that it was because he knew he was a titan then, she can only hope. She's scared to touch him, worried for no good reason that he'll change into a titan right then and there, so she places a hand on Armin's shoulder instead.
"Mikasa... how... how did you find us?" he fights more tears from falling, horrified what just occurred before his eyes. Still, it's a lot better than last time, where he was so traumatized he could barely move. A part of her finds it ironic that, when faced with Eren's death, he froze, because when she heard the same thing, all she wanted to do was move, and follow Eren into death.
"Not this time..." she reminds herself.
"You told me what squad you were on, remember?"
Armin's mouth hangs open. "T-There's no way you could have known..."
"I didn't," she lies. "But I wanted to be safe." Her words do little to settle his shock, his expression still fixed in a combination of horror and awe.
"Armin..." she gives him a like shake, hoping to knock him out of his stupor, and he finally looks into her eyes. "What happened?" she asks. She has a rough idea of what transpired in the past ten or so minutes. The excessive blood and lack of any other squad members leave little to the imagination. However, not only would it make sense for that to be something she asks, but she wants to get the full story on Eren, to make sure he's okay.
Armin places a hand on his head, scrunching his face in great pain, a pain Mikasa knows to be a headache. She's had enough of those to be able to tell. "Mina... Milieus... Nack... Thomas..." his voice is weak, no louder than a whisper. "They're dead, Mikasa... Eren... Eren-"
"A titan almost got me..." the brown haired boy interrupts his friend. She shifts her gaze to him to see that his eyes are back open, the deep shade of emerald green starkly contrasting with the crimson that stains his beautiful face. She wants to hug him. She doesn't.
"Eren..." she lets out.
Eren wipes some of the blood from his face. "I don't know how, but I dodged it in time. It would have bit off my leg, but I'm okay..." Mikasa's eyes widens. "The leg... it's still there..." another stroke of luck, she supposes. When she first retrieved him from his titan form all those years ago, his left leg was bare, just like his right arm, which obviously means he had lost it in the skirmish. The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that if it hadn't been for the strange occurrence of him simply not losing his leg in the same altercation for whatever reason, she would have been too late.
Blood flushes through her as a profound sense of relief and wonderment fills her, and despite her horrible urge to tell Eren that he's in no position to keep fighting, she has to let him stand. And he does, grunting in pain as he uses Mikasa's solid arm for support. "I'm fine. I'm still going to avenge Thomas, I'm going to avenge them all!" he rips out his fresh blades with a mighty scrape. Despite his weakness, his face is fixed in rage as he stares at a nearby titan, one that's very slowly approaching the three.
"Eren, don't go out on your own again! We need to retreat!" Armin calls, but Eren only snarls. Mikasa notices that there are two other titans not far behind the first one, and she wonders if Eren, in his anger, has even noticed.
"They're dead, Armin! They were killed by titans! and I can still fight!"
"Not against three of them. Eren, calm down." Mikasa says, attempting to cool his blazing temper with her collected attitude, not that it very accurately reflects how she feels. Though she's always been quite good at hiding her fear when it counts. What makes it even harder, though, is the look Eren returns to her. He's stuck between a mixture of terror and unbridled rage. He would look scary to the untrained eye, but Mikasa knows the look in his eyes better than anything else. What truly scares her is the opposite of this, the cold, dead stare that wouldn't leave his face ever since she met him in Marley again. Right now, he looks so vulnerable.
"I'm going to kill them all, Mikasa." To her surprise, it's Armin who grabs a hold of Eren's torso, it's Armin who shouts "Eren, stop!" with tears in his eyes, because Mikasa can only stand there. Only gape and behold the realization that's slowly coming to her. "I'm promised I would slaughter them all! Let me go, Armin!" he begins to fight against Armin's admittedly flimsy grasp. And titan stomps are felt near them, signaling their approach. "I'll kill them, I'll kill them!"
"I'll kill them!" he keeps repeating, and Mikasa knows, she knows that that's what he thinks every time he turns into a titan. That's it right? Injury, and an explicit goal? He has them both now, and the thought of the possibility, that Eren could transform without meaning to any second now, makes her heart beat twice as fast.
"You can't let it happen, Mikasa, you can't!"
"No." As calm as ever, she raises her blades, walking a couple of paces to the right, which confuses Eren enough to stop his shouting and crying a look to her.
It's been so long since she's had to kill one of these, but the strength, the will to fight that she knows she can always depend on, once again gives her an exquisite sense of control and power. Faster than a bullet, she flies through the air and stretches her arms back, ready to swing. Before the titans can so much as open their mouths, she shifts her weight to the right and spins around impossibly fast, slicing one nape, another, and a third, all while she continues to spin. She hooks onto a building and swings around, observing her work, which takes the form of three steaming titan corpses.
"There. They're dead. If I can kill anything that gets in our way, Eren won't need to transform." It's fragile, it's tenuous, but it's the best she has. It's her only hope.
Flying back over to the two, she sees Eren standing fully upright, unassisted, already, and she tries her best to ignore it. He'll be back to full strength in no time. Eren looks at her, eyes wide and teary eyed.
"Mikasa..." he lets the word wither off of his tongue in a high pitched whimper, and Mikasa's cold face explodes in pity. "You..." but suddenly his surprise morphs into vexation, frustration, exasperation, she isn't sure which. "How did you even find us? How did you make it in time? Why...?"
Her face settles. "I promised you, Eren, I wouldn't let you die." And she feels like she hasn't spoken truer words to him in years. Tears begin to leak out of his eyes, and Mikasa is quick to pull him into a hug, which he easily reciprocates, crying into her shoulder.
She remembers something quite similar to this, when they returned from their first expedition as Scouts, when Eren awoke to realize they had utterly failed. She had offered her hand, and he had gripped it, crying. She'll always hold his hand. She'll always keep him safe.
And she finds herself forcing back her own tears. "Be strong, Mikasa."
Pity, anxiety, grief, adrenaline, fear. The situation that befalls her pulls at her soul, tossing it every which way. Armin comes into the embrace as well, and they instantly let him in. She lets the two cry, grieve over their fallen comrades, their friends, the people she hoped to save. "I will save you. I will save all of you!" she once said to herself. She failed, and her best friends pay the price. The list has been shortened, condensed. Armin. Eren. Those are her only priorities now. She will save them.
"I'm a damn idiot, Mikasa... Armin... I'm sorry. They died because I couldn't kill the titans fast enough, not like you, Mikasa. I..." his cries resume. He's not the only idiot, she thinks. Her fatal error resulted in this. It's strange, hearing Eren berate himself for events that are entirely her fault, and it makes her swell with guilt. She may be fast enough to kill titans, but she's a blithe fool. This was always about something more than mere titans, and she even knew that, but she was still outsmarted. She had the chance of a lifetime, no, of a thousand lifetimes, and she wasted it.
She wants to keep holding him, she truly does, she wants to hold him forever, but out of the corner of her eye, a titan approaches. It's far away, not even close enough to make an audible stomp, but its eyes are fixed on the trio, and it moves ever closer with an animalistic intent. Now is not the time to grieve, she reminds herself.
Armin seems to realize this, too. "W-What do we do now? At the rate things are falling apart, headquarters may even fall before we can get to it..."
Mikasa pauses. Before, she was restrained to her position in the rearguard, but now she's technically free to do whatever she wants, at least until this battle ends and she's hanged for desertion. Not that she regrets it in the slightest, though, knowing what would have happened if she wasn't decisive in that moment. The boy that's slowly slinking out of her arms would be a fifteen meter titan at best, and completely dead at worst. If he was able to avoid losing his leg for no explicable reason, then who's to say he even survives being eaten by the titan this time? She doesn't pretend to know the specifics of titan inheritance, but wouldn't it have counted as a miracle that Eren didn't lose his power to the titan that ate him in the last timeline?
Dawdling on questions like these isn't exactly fruitful, though. Her first thought is to retreat to the wall, but squad's 30 through 39 have been flanked by now, which means they're actually surrounded by titans from every direction, even though it doesn't look like it from their vantage point. Going to the wall would result in permanent safety, but from any angle, they would have to face a gauntlet of titans. She can do it, but it isn't that simple. She has to keep Armin alive and safe, which is feasible, but she also needs to make sure Eren stays completely and utterly unharmed. That is far easier said than done, especially considering his tendency to go off on his own and his already tumultuous mental state.
However, an answer flickers into her mind, lighting up her face momentarily. "We should look for Ymir and Krista. I'm sure they're still alive, and it would be better to find as many people as we can."
Finding Ymir would be perfect right about now. It's possible she hasn't found the shifters yet, but at least now they're both in a position to keep their eyes peeled. Right, yes, that's good enough. There may be a better solution out there, but she doesn't have the time, and Armin isn't in the right headspace.
"O-Okay," Armin lets out. "Yeah..." Eren says, a bit absentmindedly, still processing the things going on around him. "Maybe we can find some stragglers on our way, too," he adds. The three begin to walk, with Mikasa in the lead, being the only one with a terribly proactive attitude right now. Her focused eyes dart around her, looking to where there may be commotion or the familiar white streak of ODM gear gas. As far as her eyes can see, however, there isn't a soul in sight.
"Wait, Mikasa." Armin pipes up again. She turns around to see his blue eyes shining in realization. "Was your elite squad wiped out already? If so, that means the titans are likely concentrated there, so we'd be better off moving to-"
"I left them," she states plainly as she continues to walk across the rooftops, disguising the great amount of dread she holds towards the notion of talking about her actions with her friends, and the pair of sudden gasps only exacerbate the queasy feeling. "Please, not now."
"W-What?! They're still alive? Did they let you go?" the blonde questions.
"No." She keeps her eyes trained ahead of her. Trying to lie to him is a waste of time.
"But... the desertion is a capital offence, punishable by death! You heard what Captain Weilman said!"
"It's not important now. We need to go." She prepares her ODM gear to launch, but Eren stops in his tracks.
"You've got to be shitting me..." he says, and she turns her head to see his eyes wide, utter confoundment forming on his face. Then, his features sharpen in rage, only to shoot upwards again in hurt as the consequences of her actions dawn on him. It nicks at her chest like a finer pressing on a spindle. He looks... betrayed.
"Mikasa, tell me... tell me you didn't do that just to save me."
She can't do that. It would be a bald-faced lie.
"Eren..."
"I... I can't believe you."
Her heart sinks into the earth, buried alive. She doesn't know what to say.
"There has to be a way, Mikasa, surely they'll understand in the chaos of battle-" Armin begins, but she cuts him off.
"No, Armin. My captain warned me not to go, but I went."
"You idiot! Don't you realize you just killed yourself for me?!" Eren snaps.
"If I didn't come, you would have died. I don't regret what I did, so stop this, we'll argue about it later."
"There won't be a later!"
"Eren, calm down!" Armin grabs a hold of his arm. "We don't know these things for sure. It's possible Mikasa will only be punished for insubordination, she is one of the best cadets, after all."
She doesn't have the heart to nod, mostly because she just wants out of this argument, out of a place where Eren is so angry at her, because it hurts. It's true, she could be spared due to her prowess, even if she thinks that's a little optimistic, but the fact of the matter is they don't have time to think about it now.
"Mikasa, you can't just give your life for me! Is this really what it all came to? I made you join the Military, and now you let yourself be executed because I'm about to die?! That's bullshit!" his voice suddenly attains a desperate twist. "I... I can't lose y-"
Mikasa jumps at him, grabbing him by the torso and falling off the roof. Less than a second later, a titan's hand slams into where he was previously standing, knocking a nearby Armin off his feet. She activates her gear, allowing her to land on her feet as Eren orients himself. She bites back a grimace, realizing they were arguing long enough for the titan she saw earlier to walk up to them with next to no trouble. It causes her to scorn herself, knowing that she should have ignored Eren, but his eyes, bleeding emotion, glued her in place.
Eren gasps. "Armin!" he shouts, seeing the titan shift its focus over to their blonde, helpless friend. He lets out a small noise, barely moving as it stretches its large hand once again, but Mikasa is faster. In the blink of an eye, she flies upwards at a near ninety degree angle, cutting out the nape with such speed that it goes flying, too, and the titan's eyes whiten as it crashes its head onto the roof.
She comes back down, ready to encourage Armin, to push him if she has to, to get out of here, but another titan, this one smaller, is prancing towards Eren on all fours. Her features freeze in fear, but he's prepared, dodging the titan's pounce and shooting up into the air as it drags its face into the stony ground. Gravity pulls him downwards, and he readies his blades with a lethal intent, yelling "die!" as he falls towards its neck and cuts it. His first kill.
Mikasa turns to her half-paralyzed friend. "Armin, snap out of it. We need to leave, titans are swarming-" however, she's interjected by the sound of Eren's scream. For a split second she believes that he's been captured or attacked, but her face softens, if only slightly, when she sees that he's running at a nearby titan at top speed. But that's the last thing she needs. As much as she can't stand the cold, calculated Eren of her past, she has to admit that at least she could depend on him coming at things with a bit more strategy, something that would be a true blessing right now.
"Eren! Stop!" she lets out, fruitlessly.
He hooks on the right side of a building, successfully wrapping around the thirteen meter titan before him, but it turns around before he can swipe, almost whacking the boy with the back of its hand. He ducks under and slices at its chest, blood spurting out onto his face. Mikasa watches, amazed that he's so energetic despite being so bloody and weak not ten minutes ago. She supposes a mixture of rage and titan abilities are permitting such an act.
Eventually, with the help of Mikasa, they finish off the titan. A part of her is impressed with his abilities, as she never really got the chance to see it once he knew he could titan shift, seeing as how that's a far more effective way of fighting titans. He did rank fifth place in his class, but compared to the might of a titan, that doesn't hold as much weight as he probably thinks it does.
As he turns his gaze to another line of multiple titans, he releases his dull swords, bringing out new ones and beginning to approach them before Mikasa comes in from behind, grabbing his arms and yanking him back.
"Mikasa! Stop, I can do this!"
"We still have to escape, Eren! There's too many titans around, please, stop!"
He fights against her grip, but with her strength, it isn't doing him much good. "Escape to where? You'll die as soon as we get to the walls!"
"That's not important right now!"
Their bodies rattle from loud, rapid stomps, and she looks past Eren to see an abnormal, its arms flailing about as if the titan had no control over them, running straight for them. She pulls Eren back with a force she never uses on him, drawing her blades and flying towards its torso.
Suddenly, its arms come careening at her with impossible speed. She evades, slicing off one of its hands at the wrist before flipping around its elbow and hooking into the small of its back. From there, it's as simple as shooting towards the neck and swinging. She sticks to the back, falling with the titan as it rams into the ground.
She takes a breath, stabilizing herself, but electricity sparks through her again as she feels yet another titan coming at her quickly. She looks to her left to meet its eyes, its mouth wide open, meters away from her face and ready to take a bite. She moves to dodge, but before she needs to, Eren rushes through at the perfect angle, cutting the nape wide open. He doesn't quite get it off, but it's enough to disorient it, giving Mikasa plenty of time to finish it off.
She wipes the sweat that forms near her forehead, turning to face Eren, who's walked back to where she stands atop the titan. "Thanks..." she stutters out, knowing that Eren, for all intents and purposes, has saved her life. A not insignificant part of her mind tells her that she easily could have handled it, and that he shouldn't be recklessly endangering his life like this, but with each consecutive stomp that shakes the earth and the houses and the rubble before them, she realizes that not even she could kill all of them alone. Behind them, in front of them, to their right, left, everywhere, there are titans. They have swarmed as if she is the single most inviting, appetizing human they could have ever come across. Her, and, of course, the last person she would have surrounded by titans.
Maybe she doesn't need his help... she truly doesn't know. But she'd be an absolute fool to not utilize it right now. She'd be an idiot to try to stop him on top of evading these titans. And she's done being an idiot.
She scowls, hooking onto a building and gliding to its top. Armin stands a few structures away, face fixed in great concern for his two friends, and a part of her regrets what she's about to ask of him, but it is simply too dangerous for her to let him stay. "Armin, get out of here!"
His eyes shoot wide open. "Wh-what about you?! I can't leave you here, there's too many-" a smaller one, this one barely walking on its stubby legs, lunges towards Armin. Its minimal height and slow movements are enough for him to move out of the way to a higher part of the slanted building, much to Mikasa's relief, and she flies forward and cuts at it with impressive speed. She doesn't have a second to recover, though, before she sees Eren flying past her field of vision from her right, and she can't do as much as yell his name before she has to duck from yet another swipe.
Seeing that Eren's made it to a roof, allowing for a brief respite, she does the same. "Armin! Leave, get help! Er-"
"I'm not going anywhere!" the hot headed boy interjects from a neighboring balcony.
She frowns, but refrains from any objection. "Fine..."
Armin's features stretch in fear, clearly on the edge, internally debating between what his head says is the most tactical decision to make and what his heart screams how he can't leave his friends. She understands, more than the world, she understands. And though she knows she would undoubtedly refuse to leave in his circumstance, she hopes beyond anything else that her blond friend makes the other choice. He's not strong, especially not now when he's too traumatized to even face a titan.
"But..." he lets out, the choice weighing over his mind and voice like a guillotine. And she curses under her breath as an abnormal starts to climb up the apartment complex she stands on rapidly, forcing her to swerve harshly to the right, just barely avoiding its crushing bite. It gives her no leeway, however, tagging her every move within an instant, causing her to force herself downwards and swing through an alleyway in an attempt to lose it.
It impels itself through the alley, squishing its own body as it outstretches its hands and encloses her within its grasp. She swings with all her might, cutting all of its fingers and driving deep into the palm of its right hand, eventually stumbling into a rocky wall. Fingerless yet unyielding, it forces its nub of a hand straight at her, and she has to jump with a strong puff of gas to evade being squished by the sheer power and speed of its attack.
Rocketing herself up into the air, she sees Eren, surrounded by three titans all desperately clawing at him. He's fast, but she gasps, knowing he isn't fast enough to last long. After a few successful evasions, one grabs him, stopping his inertia abruptly. He grunts in pain, both at the sudden halt and the painful grip of the monster, but with an incredible speed and power, she cuts it cleanly through middle of the forearm.
She turns sharply, letting her feet hit the side of a chimney and turning quickly in the direction she came, wrapping herself around Eren and tumbling to a safer rooftop.
"Armin, please... we need you to leave!" she can't even get to him due to the number of titans standing in their way. After another long moment of deliberation, he clenches his eyes, reluctantly turning his gear southwards. "I-I'll get help... I'm... sorry." he lets out weakly, launching himself away. She wishes he wouldn't criticize himself over this, but it doesn't matter. "He's gone. I can focus on Eren"
"Mikasa," he puts a hand on her shoulder, and for once she's able to look closely at his face. It takes her off guard, simultaneously more and less disheveled than she thought it would be. The blood has all but disappeared from his face, no doubt thanks to his power, but his rough cheeks and forehead, dirt sticking on it in layers because of the sweat that slicks his face, shine with a well concealed exhaustion. "We should try to get out of here, too. To keep them away from Armin."
She sighs, utterly thankful that he's decided to retreat, if only to keep his friend out of danger, not for his own sake. Nodding resolutely, the two shoot through the air, getting themselves away from the titans. Unfortunately, it isn't much better in the direction they're going, and from her vantage point in the sky she sees a majority of the walled city. Across the vast expanse she sees... fire, rubble, and titans.
"There are so many... I wasn't this far into the middle guard last time, but... there shouldn't be this many."
Eren seems to notice something similar, scowling in shock and irritation. "Shit... they're everywhere."
She doesn't respond, but notices his head turn towards hers. "Keep your eyes ahead of you," A part of her thinks to say to him.
"I'm going to fight for you," he says steadily. She blinks, turning her head to meet his despite her previous thoughts.
"I won't let them kill you. You're the best cadet anyone's ever seen, we'll figure something out, I'm sure Armin-"
"This isn't the time to think about this."
"I don't care." His voice rises a bit, hinting at greater annoyance billowing under the surface. "I'm not going to let you die, I promise."
She turns her head away, refusing to let him see how his words affect her. Her face remains the same, but she just knows he'll be able to tell. She thinks it's her eyes that give it away, what else could it be?
"Eren, get ready." She drops her blades, retrieving a fresh pair as Eren follows suit, and the two drop.
The sky is dark. Clouds hover over Armin, pushing him down harder than gravity ever could. It doesn't take much, he's weak. He's a burden.
His heart beats impossibly fast, and the fact makes him want to shout. "You haven't killed a single titan! Mikasa and Eren might die, and you couldn't even help them! Why is your heart beating so quickly? It doesn't deserve to!"
The guilt twists his stomach, along with a seething anger at himself. But unlike Eren, he doesn't have the strength to use that anger. All he can do is frown and cry. Miraculously, he finds an area that has practically no titans, not even much of trace of them. But, really? Is it that much of a miracle? No... it's a sick irony. That he should run away to relative safety while his two best friends, the most important people in his lives, fight a futile battle.
It's like he said earlier. They have no capabilities to seal any kind of hole, and titans are only going to continue to come through. It's either die, or retreat, and they didn't retreat.
"Get help... Armin, they told you to get help." he reminds himself of his purpose. He's smart, he knows he's getting lost in the shame. Mikasa and Eren don't think less of him, they're making a tactical choice and hoping to save his life, right? But it doesn't matter. He's a weakling and a burden. He asked them not to risk their lives for him, and now they're fighting that battalion of titans just for him.
Mikasa is competent, he knows that... she's extraordinarily competent, but is it enough? And what about Eren? She'll undoubtedly prioritize him, even to her detriment. She'd let herself die to save her love. The thought makes him want to throw up the meager contents of his stomach. The thought of his friends dying...
"And Eren almost died..."
He almost died. He saved Armin's life, practically sacrificing himself for him. And then Mikasa came. Really, she did the exact same thing for Eren as he did for Armin. Sacrifice. Because she deserted. She committed desertion so he could live, despite being one of the most useful weapons humanity has.
She'd let herself die to save Eren, and Eren would let himself die to save him. Where does that leave Armin? First bullies, now titans. It's always been this way. He's always been the one to be saved.
"They need your help, they need you to get other soldiers." He tried to tell himself. But a rescue operation that deep into titan territory, even at this point, may be a suicide mission. Maybe under normal circumstances, but... there's too many titans. Surely, he wasn't the only one to notice. He counted at least twenty of them while he stood there helplessly.
"It's hopeless... I have to face reality. They sent me away to save my life, but they won't be able to survive. Does she know that? No... if she thought she was going to die, she would never let Eren stay with her. But even she isn't strong enough to take all those titans on, right? Have I been underestimating Mikasa, or is she overestimating herself?"
The wind sways through his hair as he thinks aloud, and with trembling hands he shoots out his hooks onto the next building.
He doesn't know the answer to his questions. Mikasa isn't often one to overestimate herself, but she's always been overemotional when Eren is concerned. She won't let Eren die, but that may entail her letting herself be eaten to save him. But... Eren would never allow that, not when he was so upset at the actions she took to get there.
So are they truly dead? Is it over for them? Did Armin abandon them and leave them to be devoured?
Eren and Mikasa, they flash in his mind. The memories of them fighting his bullies, of Mikasa hiding her face in her scarf when she was shy, of Eren's nose going red when he lies, and of the three running up to their tree.
"Why do I get to live... why...? They have always fought... and all I've done is cry."
His head pounds.
"You deserve to die more than them, Armin."
His hook hits a stone wall at a poor angle, bouncing off of it. The shift disorients him, causing him to tumble and crash his head into it. With a grunt, he falls to the street, feeling exhaustion overtake him. His head throbs. From a headache or the blunt force of the impact, he doesn't know.
He doesn't know.
Drops of rain spot his head.
He's tired of not knowing.
"Eren, you're tired."
"No, I'm not."
They stand atop a shorter building, steaming corpses dotting the streets all around them. She knows he isn't a fan of it, but most, if not all, of those kills belong to her. Letting her dull blades drop to the ground with a clang, she turns to him. "Give me some of your blades, I'm out."
He frowns, but acquiesces. "Fine. I know I'm not killing as many as you anyways."
"It's okay, we need to be looking for more people instead of trying to kill everything we see." No Ymir, no Historia, not a single person in sight. The drops of rain land around her, and they smooth down her sore hands, hit the back of her neck, and work to soothe the exhaustion. It's been too long, she's felt like she's killed an entire army of titans. Eren's been helping, but titans are simply too overwhelming for most people. She feels like she's had to put in just as much work keeping him safe as she has actually eliminating threats.
They still have enough gas to make it to the wall, however. Wall Rose hasn't fallen yet, meaning Ymir has either killed the shifters, or they're still at large, waiting for titans to congregate around the city first. Though, in her humble opinion, they could have broken the inner gate long ago if they only wanted to wait for more titans.
There has simply been too many. At first she thought it was a coincidence. A side effect of her and Eren being around the vanguard, maybe. But by the time they had to usher Armin away, it was undeniable.
Armin... She hopes he's okay. Him actually getting more help to come to them was a longshot, but she hoped he would at least realize that he needs to get back to the wall. She kneels down, the possibilities rushing through her faster than she can flush them out.
"Mikasa..." the coarseness of Eren's voice all but disappears as he looks to her. "Are you okay?"
She fights a tremble from slithering up her spine. "I'm... scared. I don't want you to die." The words fall out of her mouth before she can stop herself. It feels cathartic to open up to the person she loves more than anything, but it isn't helping the situation. "Stay strong, Mikasa," she keeps insisting to herself, but it's hard. Everything is falling apart and she's scared.
"It's kinda funny. I feel the same way. I wish you didn't leave the elite squadron..."
"You would have died, Eren." Her voice is tired.
"Shouldn't I have some kind of say in whether you endanger yourself for me?"
"If you did, you'd say no every time."
"That's because I don't want you to die! You're my best friend, Mikasa, you're..." he sighs. "I thought I understood you better. I thought I realized why you followed me, and that you at least had your priorities straight. This is about humanity, not me."
"If it were the other way around, what would you have done?"
He opens his mouth, but it only hangs, no words forming.
She looks at him with doe eyes and grabs his hand, stifling a sigh as she sees a titan far in the distance. They'll be coming again soon if they don't move.
Mikasa continues. "I wish it wasn't this way. I don't want to choose between these things, I just want..."
She just wants to be with him.
He gives her hand a squeeze. "You're right. I would have done the same thing in your position. Hell, that titan probably would have eaten me, and I only went in to save Armin..." his voice wanders off as he stares at her, and she feels her heart rate quickening, wondering what he could be looking at. She was never good at hiding blushes, though. Luckily, Eren was never good at noticing them, either.
He brushes a wet strand of hair that hovers over her left eye. Quickly, though, he reels his hands back, his face heating up a bit. "You remember what I said six years ago? We fight. No matter what."
She loses herself in his gaze. His typical impassioned green eyes filling the corners of her fragile soul. And she can't help but admit to herself how much she wants to kiss him, hug him, and make the whole world, everything else, simply go away. Instead, she enjoys the warmth of his hands around hers.
He's completely right. She will continue to risk herself for him, and he'll probably continue to risk himself for her. Not because it makes sense, but because they care about each other. Because he cares about her... at least right now.
As long as she has him, she can do anything.
She closes her eyes, succumbing to the desire to enjoy his presence, for the briefest of moments.
"Mikasa..."
"What?" she opens her eyes to see him looking to his left.
"I... I've seen that one before."
Her stomach jumps in a profound sense of anxiety in confusion. Could it be Dina Fritz? It doesn't sound like he's scared, though, so what-
She looks. It's another big one, and she's confused for the smallest of moments. But as soon as she fathoms the blonde hair, the signature swells of its breasts, and the fact that it is running at top speed straight for them, and the butterflies in her stomach turn to hornets.
"What...?" she lets out with her breath. Her eyes are saucers. The Female Titan. The Female Titan is here.
"It's running straight for us. It'll be here in less than twenty seconds!" Eren lets out. But she doesn't even react.
"Annie. What are you doing? Why... why are you here?!"
She has no time to understand. All she needs to know is that Eren is threatened, and that as long as she has him, she can do anything.
"Eren, stay back. Let me kill her."
"Huh?"
She places her blade in front of him, halting his movements. "Eren," her voice is fast, "please..."
"Mika-" he can't even finish before she's jumped off the building, flying straight towards the titan shifter.
She ducks under a bridge, scrapes lightly on the ground, and twists around a tower, gaining momentum.
"Annie... you always wanted a fight..." her Ackerman blood, her decade of experience, her Eren... they all push her harder. "Then come on!"
She swings at the titan's face.
God that was something. Oh yeah another cliffhanger too sorry :PPPPP
What did you think? It had much more action, and a part of me got the impression that I may have dragged it out too long, but I want to know what you guys think. Was I able to maintain the suspense? How was my characterization? And what did you think of the chapter? All questions I'd love to hear the answers to from you guys, so as always, please leave a review and have a nice day! -Y