Posting a bonus chapter because of the amazing response, and because some want to see a bit more emotion from Edward. Catch you again next Thursday.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4

I got home from Bella's and knew I needed to clean up my kitchen. I cried as I washed the pans and filled the dishwasher, but once it was running, I grabbed a beer and settled onto the couch. I turned on the Mariners game, not that I had any real intention of watching it, when there was a knock at the door. Not wanting to deal with anything or anyone, I ignored it, but I should have known whoever it was wouldn't give up that easy.

The sound of the key in the door and Alice's voice calling out my name had me closing my eyes in frustration.

"I brought you some dinner." She stood in the doorway as I looked over at her.

"I'm not very hungry," I responded.

She walked down the hall and I knew she was going to my kitchen to put away the food. I wasn't surprised when a few moments later she sat next to me on the couch.

"I'm sorry I made it about me yesterday. How are you doing, Edward?"

"Taking it minute by minute. I miss her so damn much. I can't believe she's really gone."

"Jasper had to go back to work, but I'm staying with mom and dad. If you need any help, let me know."

"I don't know, Alice. We met with Alistair at the funeral home and everything there is taken care of. Mom said she would order the flowers, so Bella and I don't have to think about that. And Pastor Weber asked us some questions about what we wanted for the service, but other than that, I think we're done."

"Have you done an obituary for the paper?"

"No. I didn't even think of it."

"I can call Bella and see if she had, and if not, I could contact them and write it up. Take that off your plate."

"Thanks, Ally."

"Anything for you. You've looked out for me from the minute I crashed your party and made you the middle child by a whole six minutes."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side.

"How do I move on, Ally?"

"I think you've got the right idea. Don't think too far ahead. Just take as little or as much as you can at a time. No one is going to fault you for taking longer if you need it."

"I used to think I knew everything. Feel foolish now."

"You couldn't have predicted any of this. And it isn't your fault." Alice was quiet a moment before she asked, "Do you have the date and time for the services yet?"

"Alistair said we could have it on Friday. Noon to Two o'clock and then Six to Eight for the evening services. Pastor Weber will have her funeral at ten am on Saturday."

"Okay, I'll let Jasper know so he can get the day off of work."

"I want Jacob in jail, Ally. I want him to rot for not keeping an eye on her."

"Do you think that will happen?"

"I don't know. He's Billy's son, so there may be too much loyalty to the old man. Sam said he would investigate."

"Sam's honest, have faith in him. But if the tribe closes ranks to protect him, don't do anything stupid."

"I can't promise you that, Ally."

"Promise to try?" she asked.

"I'll do my best."

Alice reached up to wipe the tear tracks from my face and then stood up. "Well, I'll let you get back to your Monday night baseball game."

I walked Alice out and locked the door.

Tuesday, I didn't get out of bed.

Wednesday, I woke up disoriented from sleeping so much. I stumbled down the hall and pounded on the bathroom door. "Hurry up, Vanessa—"

I froze as the world came crashing down around me. In the fog of sleep, I'd forgotten. Just for a moment, but that was all it took. I collapsed on the floor and screamed and cried. I did it until my voice was hoarse.

The ringing of my house phone caught my attention, because hardly anyone called it. The only reason I'd kept it was it was cheaper to have the phone on the bundle, and Vanessa had used it to call her friends.

I got up and stumbled into her bedroom, since that was the closest handset, and answered.

"Hello?"

"Edward, it's Sam."

"Are you calling with good news?" I asked.

"Edward, I spoke with everyone who was on that beach. And based on witness statements and the events of the day, I don't have enough to press charges. What happened to Vanessa was a terrible accident, but it was just that."

The anger rose up in me and I was on the verge of losing it, but I held back just barely. "When I deliver news to a family, especially bad news, I have the balls to do it to their face. But I have some news for you, Chief, and it is your responsibility to make everyone aware of it. Unless Bella specifically invites someone from the Reservation out to the services for our daughter, no one is welcome there. If they step foot on the property they will be escorted out by the police. And if they resist, they will be arrested and charged."

"Edward, I know you're upset, but—"

"You don't know a god-damn thing. I will be informing my deputies and there will be no exceptions. Jacob is already one more incident away from Bella taking legal action, so I suggest you let everyone know our family's decision. If they all say he wasn't solely responsible, it means they were all partially responsible, and they have no place showing up at the wakes or funeral."

I hung up before he could say anything further, because I was so done. I unplugged the phone from the wall and threw it against the wall out in the hallway.

The scream that escaped me was primal and raw and it made my throat hurt as much as my soul did. A slamming door and pounding footsteps followed sometime after and I felt my sister's arms around me.

"It's okay, Eddie Bear, let it out."

"I want him to pay, Alice. Why can't they see that this was his fault?"

"They want to see the best in him and believe this was an accident. But you are allowed to feel how you do. Don't let anyone tell you different."

"How did you know I needed you?" I asked. "Are you going to claim the twin connection?"

Alice scoffed. "No, Bella called. I guess Sam called her after speaking to you to get her to overrule your call that no one from La Push could come to the services. She told him that she would never speak against you and there was no one she wanted there enough to ask them to come alone. And then she called him a fucking coward for doing this from the safety of the Rez and hung up. I was at the bakery trying her new ice cream flavor when the call came in."

"When I woke up, for a minute, I forgot she was gone. I saw the bathroom door closed and knocked for her to hurry up. Then as soon as I said her name it all came rushing back," I sobbed.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I know that must have been hard for you. I can't even imagine what all of this is like for you."

"Alice, yesterday, you said you would help me with anything."

"Whatever you need," she confirmed.

"Can you help me pack up her things? I want to donate a bunch of it to the shelter that Rosalie works for, so they can give it to kids that need clothes and things, but I just know I can't do it myself."

"Okay. How about we get out of here for a bit, and on the way back we can get boxes and go through everything."

"Where do you want to go?"

"I thought we could drive out to Mom and Dad's and find that meadow you liked to spend time in when we were younger. Maybe find a bit of the peace there you used to?"

"Let's go."

Alice helped me off the floor and I got cleaned up and dressed for the day. I let Alice drive out to our parents' house and we headed straight out into the woods by our front yard. I had to slow my pace to match Alice, teasing her about short legs.

"Edward, I will kick you in the shins," Alice threatened.

I laughed at her threat, but it felt wrong. When she realized I'd stopped walking, she came back to where I'd frozen in place.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"I feel guilty … for laughing."

"You're allowed to smile, Edward," Alice told me. "Nessa, she'd want you to be happy. I know it is hard, and that it feels like you're supposed to be sad forever, but there will come a time when you will want to smile again. Don't turn your back on that."

"It's all jumbled up. My head, my heart, I just can't make sense of it."

"Don't try to make sense of it today. But, maybe you should talk to someone?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll be fine. Let's just keep walking."

Alice dropped the subject and we continued on our hike. It wasn't too long before we were entering the meadow. We moved to the middle and I sat down, Alice taking a seat beside me.

"I can stay in town longer, if you want? Maybe having more family around will help?"

"I love you for wanting to do that, but you have a life in Seattle. I'm not going to keep you from that."

We sat in silence for a while and then we headed back to the car. My mom caught us in the driveway and insisted we stay for lunch, but once we were done eating, we drove back to my house. With a stop at Thriftway, we had enough boxes to get to work.

It was difficult, packing up so much of Vanessa's things, but with Alice there to help, I was able to get through most of it. The clothes were the easiest, and she promised to get them to Rosalie so I wouldn't have to. We even boxed up some things I couldn't part with and put them in the basement. When all was said and done, the room looked bare. A stripped bed and empty shelves and drawers, but it helped. I took one of her teddy bears and brought it into my room after Alice's car was packed and she headed out. It was easier to sleep with her scent near, but it didn't mean it was restful. That was still hard to come by.