A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
I don't have much to say about this update, other than I hope you enjoy it :)
I stood outside her door, ringing her doorbell. The time between finding out and now felt like it had been years. I had so many questions that I needed answers to. My entire life had changed in the matter of 24 hours, and suddenly I felt like I had no idea what my future would like. Things that were important to me no longer seemed that important.
Elena finally opened the door, her face expressionless, as she stood to the side, so that I could walk in. She wore a long-sleeved grey shirt and jeans. Her Belly was small and round. I wasn't used to seeing her like that, and it still caught me off guard.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm fine," she said robotically.
We looked at each other in silence for a while. I wanted to reach out and touch her. I wasn't used to this distance between us.
Elena finally moved walking into her living room, and I followed behind her. She sat down on one end of her couch, and I sat down on the other.
I didn't even know where to start. On the plane ride here, I made a list on my phone of questions to ask, because I didn't want to forget anything. "How?"
Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion like she thought I was dumb for asking that question.
"I thought you were on birth control?"
"It takes two," she crossed her arms offended. "You could've used a condom."
"I didn't mean it like that," I wanted to hit myself for opening with that question. "I just had no idea. I'm still in shock."
She uncrossed her arms, "birth control is 99% effective. I guess we are that 1%."
"Is the… baby healthy?" This was so surreal. I couldn't believe we were sitting here talking about a baby.
"So far everything looks good," she nodded slowly. "I have my anatomy scan next month."
I had no idea what an anatomy scan was. When it came to the female body, there was only so much I was familiar with.
"An ultrasound," she must have sensed my confusion.
I nodded in understanding. "How are you? I mean… with the pregnancy?"
She shrugged, "Tired, nauseous… all very normal."
I was happy to hear they were both doing well. There was something that bothered me, and I was afraid that things would get ugly fast when I asked. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Of course," she sighed.
"When?" I couldn't help the sour tone that slipped through.
"I was going to tell you after the first trimester, after the twelve weeks." I watched as she rested one of her hands casually on her belly. "1 in 6 pregnancies end in a miscarriage and I just wanted to wait… just in case."
"How many weeks are you?" I honestly had no idea how many weeks there were in a pregnancy. I had a lot to learn.
She shrugged, "I don't know. I was scared."
"Of me?" My gut felt like it had been stabbed.
"I didn't want you to think it was some sort of trap," she spoke softly.
"Trap?" I huffed. "Elena, I could never think that. I know you would never try to do something like that."
She was quiet, her eyes cast down on the cushion of the couch.
"Listen," I broke the silence. "I'm going to buy a house here."
Her head snapped up at me, her face suspicious.
"I'll break my lease in LA, and move back home," I explained. "I can get my job back at the club and then I'll travel once a month just for a few days for shoots."
"Why?" She asked.
My eyebrows raised, wasn't it obvious? "So, I can be here for the baby."
"I don't need you."
"I want to," My voice was firm.
"I don't want you in and out of its life like some flaky sperm donor," Her voice raised.
Ouch. "What makes you think I'm going to be flaky? This is my child!" I stood up looking down at her. "I said I was going to buy a house Elena. I'm here to stay."
She stood up stepping closer to me. "You leave everyone Damon!" She threw her hands in the air like it was obvious. "Your dad, your brother… me," her voice quivered at the end. "What makes you think it'll be any different?"
"I wouldn't abandon my child," I could feel my blood boiling. Was she really questioning that? Did I put that much doubt in her head, that she felt like I would be a dead-beat dad to my own flesh?
"I don't trust you," she sounded shaken. I could see the tears form in her eyes. She quickly turned away, so I wouldn't see. She walked into her kitchen, and I remained still.
Of course, she didn't trust me. Why would she? In the drop of a hat, I left her with no warning. I didn't really give an explanation, and after she left, I didn't even try to chase after her. I didn't even call… or text. Nothing.
I pinched the bridge of my nose frustrated. I was frustrated with myself. I was frustrated with Elena. She had every right to not trust me, but she couldn't keep our child from me. That wasn't fair to anyone.
I finally joined her in the kitchen where she was drinking a glass of water. "You can't keep our child from me."
"You have to think about this," she looked blankly out the window. "You can't just say you're going to move back and promise things, when you haven't even known about her for less than a day."
"Her?"
She looked over at me and nodded. "I did the genetic blood tests to make sure everything was good. I guess you find out the gender too."
I couldn't help but smile. It was a good piece of news. I hadn't thought much about gender. It didn't really matter to me. But knowing it was a girl made my mind flash forward to memories. Going to dance recitals, scaring off boyfriends, walking her down the aisle.
"A girl," I breathed.
Elena seemed to study my reaction. "I don't want her to have abandonment issues, Damon."
"She won't," I stepped forward towards Elena. "I won't abandon her ever. I promise."
I could sense Elena's doubt. I watched as she bit her tongue, wanting to argue.
"I understand why you don't trust me," I looked at her, as I closed the distance. "I was a jackass. I can't apologize enough for how things ended between us. But please don't punish me, by keeping me from my daughter."
She looked at me sternly, "You have one chance. If you disappear once," she jabbed a finger in my chest. "I won't allow you to come back."
"I won't." And I meant it with every fiber in my being. Just being so close to Elena I could feel the pull. I wanted to reach out and feel my baby. I wanted her to know I was there.
"Your words mean nothing to me."
"I know," I sighed. "I'll just have to prove it to you."
It dawned on me that I would be around Elena a lot more now. The thought excited me. I knew I fucked up and I knew she would probably never forgive me. I knew the chance of her even thinking of me as a friend was slim. But just the idea that I would be around her, filled that dull ache I had been feeling every second of everyday.
"Can I come to your next doctor appointment?" I asked.
She looked me up and down, suspicious. I could tell she was conflicted. Scared to let me in… to trust me.
"I'll think about it," she finally spoke.
"Thank you," I barely whispered, as I smiled.
Reflexively without thinking I reached out. My hand touched her hard stomach, and she flinched slightly, surprised by the action. I looked in her eyes for permission but kept my hand still.
She seemed to relax after a second.
I looked back down at her small protruding stomach, carrying my daughter… our daughter. My hand moved over the plains of her stomach, and even though there was nothing really there for me to feel; at least not yet. I felt an invisible surge of energy. I could feel her presence. It made it all the more real for me. She was there. She existed already and I hadn't even met her yet.
My eyes ran up, back to Elena's face. Her doe eyes staring back at me. They were guarded, but sweet as ever. Her perfect cheeks painted a light shade of pink. Her prefect lips parted slightly. I still remembered the way she tasted. The way her lips felt against mine.
She inhaled quickly before turning away from me, "I have a lot of papers to grade today."
I knew that was my que to leave. "I'm going to be here for a while," I said as she was turned away from me, pretending to occupy herself. "I'll be back to check on you soon."
"You don't have to," she started to shake her head.
"I want to," I made sure she heard me loud and clear. I was going to make sure she knew I wasn't going anywhere. Not just for my daughter… but for Elena too.
The next day I had called a realtor to get started on buying a house. They needed to pull credit reports and have a bunch of financial information. I went to the club and talked to my old manager, who was more than happy to have me back. It would be a little bit before I started back up. I needed a couple months to find a house and go through the process of closing before I was going to settle back into a routine back home. I had quite a bit of money to put down on a house. I had saved a lot from all the shoots I had been doing. Other than bills, I didn't really spend money in the last 3 months.
In a couple weeks I had to head back to LA for another shoot I had scheduled. I would probably start packing some of my things in the meantime.
I was staying with my dad until then. He seemed ok with me stating in his spare bedroom while I tried to get things sorted out here.
"I'm going to go meet with my realtor," I told my dad, when I entered the kitchen.
"I'm surprised," My dad said. He kept his eyes glued on his morning newspaper, doing the crossword puzzle.
"Why?" I dumped the remainder of the coffee in the sink, and quickly cleaned it out.
"You, picking a permanent residence," he sounded unamused. "Doesn't sound like you."
"I'm going to be a dad," I said annoyed. I was so sick of people doubting me. Was I really that bad of a person that people expected me to abandon my child over doing the right thing? "Of course, I need to come back."
My dad was silent as I put away the clean mug. I turned around and he had a confused expression on his face. "A dad?" He pulled of his glasses like it would help him understand.
"Yeah," I pushed off the counter. "Didn't you know? I thought you and Elena were close…" I watched as my father's face went from totally lost to, complete shock.
"Elena's pregnant?" He looked baffled. "You…?"
"I'm surprised she didn't tell you," I felt like a complete ass. That was not the way to tell my dad he was about to be a grandpa. "When's the last time you seen her? I mean… it's kind of obvious now."
"She hasn't come around much since you left," he looked at me with disgust.
"Oh," If I didn't feel like an ass before I did now.
"She came to visit me on the anniversary of your brother's death, a couple months ago…unlike you, who didn't even call," my dad looked back to his paper. I could tell he was disappointed.
I knew that if I stayed, we'd end up in a fight. My dad and I were like oil and water. Stefan and he were a lot closer. Stefan was always the favorite. "I'll be back later," I said before grabbing my jacket to leave.
"Don't make promises you can't keep son," my dad barely said loud enough.
"Why would I lie about that?" I snapped.
"I'm talking about Elena," he said without looking over his shoulder. "That girl has been through enough."
"I'm sick of everyone doubting me," I raised my voice. "Why can't anyone believe that I might actually do the right thing for once?"
"Because you never have," my dad said calmly.
I turned for the door, opening it, and slamming it shut behind me. I was so irritated with everyone and their lack of faith in me. But I think the part that really got to me, was that I knew they were right. I didn't give people much to be proud of. I was always running from responsibility and accountability. But I couldn't with this. I wouldn't. She was my flesh and blood.
After meeting with my realtor, I got in my car and called Elena. Her phone rang a few times before she answered.
"Hello?" She sounded confused and unsure.
"Hi," I tapped on the back of my phone against my ear. "I was just checking in. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," she sounded so unsure. Like she didn't trust my intentions.
"And the baby?"
"Baby is fine," she sighed. "You saw me yesterday."
"I know," I cleared my throat. "I met with a realtor today. I'm working on getting a house."
She was silent on the other end.
"He's been showing me some houses in the area. I'm waiting to see what I get approved for, and then I'll start putting offers in," I continued.
"Damon…" she said my name with disapproval.
"What?" I could feel the frustration boiling inside me.
"You're making decisions awfully fast," she said, as if I were a child.
"And?" I didn't see her point.
"I don't think you've thought this through," she stated. "This is a really big decision. How do you know you won't regret it, and wish you were back in LA?"
"This is my fucking child were talking about," My anger was at its boiling point, and I was about to sound off. "Of course, I'm making a quick decision. I shouldn't even have second thoughts about what I should do. I know what I want to do. I want her to grow up with her dad. I want her to be able to call me and I can be there in a split second. I want her to spend nights at my house. I want her 50/50."
"You can't," she said.
"What do you mean I can't?" I could feel every muscle in my body tense.
"You can't have her 50/50," she answered.
"What?" I spat into the phone. "Why not? She's half mine."
"I told you," She sounded stern. "I don't trust you."
"You can't do this!" I had never felt this helpless before. I was so angry and heartbroken at the same time. I knew that I didn't have the greatest track record for being a reliable person, but I couldn't believe that no one believed me. I had never felt this strongly about someone in my life, and I hadn't even met her yet. I would do anything for her. Anything. I hung up the phone knowing it was best to not say anything further. When I got mad, I got ugly.
I started my car, and I drove to my only safe haven lately… The bar.
A/N: What do you think? Do you think Elena and Giuseppe have a reason to doubt Damon? Do you think they are being ridiculous, and should just give him the benefit of the doubt? Please leave a review and I will see you next week :)