Chapter 25

"Life always keeps altering your meaning of Life."
― Somya Kedia

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December 27th, 2043

Dear Dean:

I dreamt with you again, after what it seemed like an eternity without seeing your face. At least it seems like so for me. Does time go slow in heaven some days? Does time even exist at all up there?

Man, if you saw me right now, you would laugh at me. My body is sore after carrying some boxes to the office; and the thought of getting out of bed in the morning is mentally exhausting. I now wonder how Bobby kept on fighting despite the age he was carrying within his strong bones. How did he live knowing that he had lost the one person he loved the most on this earth? The person that, somehow, gave him the strength to carry on. I guess we helped a little, but at the end of the day, it was up to him to stop himself from eating a bullet and giving up.

He is my hero, too. Whenever I am feeling cranky or sad, I think of you guys. All of you up there. Have you seen mom? Does she still care to look after me after all these years? Does dad still care about me?

If I could only hear you answer those questions in person, I wouldn't mind too much about the what you would say. I would only care about things being different from the new world I was left to rebuild on my own.

Sometimes I feel like I am dying, however, my mind reminds myself it is just another panic attack. While going through it, I think I am not gonna make it through the night, but then, I remember what you said over and over again. It's so damn hard to do this alone, even after two decades after losing you.

I never thought I would make it this far.

Am I happy for living? I am not sure what to say. It could never be an easy 'Yes' or 'No' kind of answer to that question.

I can only say that I am grateful for the people I met and things I have achieved with my foggy mind. It can only get better from now on, since I am one day closer to seeing all of you again. Even Jody. Her girls told me she died in her sleep. I travelled to their home to say my goodbyes to her, and held Claire and Kaia while Alex threw the match and set her body on fire.

I didn't tell DJ until he came home for thanksgiving. He really liked her. Garth is still going strong, but has wrinkles all over his face. His thin body has not changed at all, though. His daughter is now married and pregnant with their first child. It sounds weird, I know.

Do you remember how tiny she was? She has her mom's attitude and owns the pants in the relationship.

I am alone for tonight, since Gen is taking care of Erik. He is sick and weak. I think we might lose him sooner than we think.

Mila has gone to a better place, too. I miss her so much. She would always lay down at my feet while I prepared the exams for my students. She was such a great dog to the three of us.

Everyone's dying, Dean. Everyone I have ever loved is about to be gone. Sometimes I want to shout I don't wanna keep breathing anymore. DJ is twenty-one years old now, and I am sure Gen could be there for him. I am sorry. Forget about this crappy suicidal part of myself. I will try it again.

Getting old sucks. You saved yourself from all these old people problems. Maybe it was for the best. I guess I will never know. Maybe you would like to know which aspects of life you are missing when not being down here growing old with me.

I am sorry, Dean. There are so many things going on right now. Jody lived a happy life with her girls, and we shared so many moments together. Moments I shall never forget. DJ is the kindest soul I have ever met. He came to visit us a couple months ago, when we were clearly not expecting him, and brought something that made me tear up.

He brought THE TABLE from the bunker. Our table.

It was still as good as the day I left it. DJ cleaned it up and gave it to me. I am using that table in my office ever since it found its forever home with me. I remember carving our initials; even talking about our legacy. This is our legacy. This is what we broke and built through sweat and tears. More than living, we fought hard to survive most of the time, but we won, and saved people's hope in the process. I think that is how I can finally express it, if someone asks me about my mission on this earth. That is what I told DJ this Christmas.

NEVER LOSE HOPE ON BROKEN THINGS. IRONICALLY, THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT WILL HOLD YOU TOGETHER WHEN YOU ARE FALLING APART.

I almost forgot to tell you this. When he brought the table from the bunker, he also found something I thought I had lost forever. It is a picture of us sitting in the hood of the Impala. I remember we took it a few days before I jumped to the pit with Lucifer possessing me. We are not smiling. You insisted on taking it, not knowing Chuck's plans were not over yet. We are holding a cold beer in our hands, as if we were celebrating something, and I can see Bobby's thumb covering a part of the picture, who was still in his wheelchair, yelling we should at least seem a little happy if we wanted a damn picture. We were going to save the world from the apocalypse, after all.

God, so many memories, and time is so short to allow yourself cry about it. I have to think clearly.

Life forces you to man-up every time you fall down. It shouts that no matter what you are going through, your heart is still beating, and for as long as you are here, you have to do something useful of your body and soul. Not everyone is wise enough to learn how to take advantage of that borrowed time we are given. I think we did it without knowing what time really meant. I mean, three whole decades of fighting monsters and holding each other when we needed to find our home defined our destiny. We gave life a whole new meaning if you ask me.

DJ has gone to a friend's house before he goes back to college. He has met a girl, but he still will not tell me he is in love with her. Being his father, I know he is madly in love. He has changed his mind about having a partner and two and a half kids, I believe.

My hands are getting tired, big brother. As I said, you might have saved yourself from all this things you don't ask for once you pass your fifties.

Say hi to Jody for me. She kicked ass and will always be remembered for who she was. The strongest woman on this earth.

Live on, man. Just live on.

Sam(my)

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update this story. I was studying for my exams, and I passed them all! I think Sammy would be proud of me! Law school is going great so far!

I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. I cannot believe this fic has one hundred reviews already! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!

I will update as soon as I can. If you have a minute, please, make sure to leave a review or suggestion. See you soon!

KW.-