A/N: I know, it's been a while, but I've been busy working on getting other stories wrapped up. Plus I run a ghostwriting business so I have a lot of books I have to write. And where I am, the schools have been closed since April and will remain closed until September so my Third Grader is home all day long. I don't have as much time as I would like to get stories written.

A quick update on my other stories. I have been focusing on getting Becoming Zulu wrapped up. I have three chapters of that one left to write before I'll edit and start posting them. I am looking to get those chapters written by the end of Sunday so I can start editing and posting once or twice a week. After that one, I'm not sure yet what story I will be focusing on. I am working on Seeping Darkness, but I think I am going to work on Legendary and getting that going again.

Story Summary: Clay finally gets to have his first day on Bravo, but it is not what he was expecting. The guys learn of a devastating past trauma that Clay has endured and they are shocked by the level of pain that Clay has had to endure in his childhood. Emotional whump.

Story Warnings: Speculations of past child sexual abuse.

Unseen Scars

Clay made his way through the hallways on base with all of his gear. He still couldn't believe that he was going to be Bravo Six. It had been three months since his SERE training and he was finally cleared to go back to work. All of his broken bones had healed and his kidney and spleen were no longer bruised. Clay hadn't enjoyed his time off, but it did allow him to get his apartment in order, so there was that. He hadn't seen anyone on Bravo since that day in the hospital. They had texted him everyday, each of them taking a turn, but only one of them asking him each day how he was doing. Clay always said the same thing, he was fine and no he didn't need them to come over. Clay didn't tell them where he lived, avoided the question, he didn't like people knowing where he lived. He didn't like people visiting him unannounced. He preferred to keep his home separate from whatever team he was on. Clay could tell the guys were not too happy with him keeping quiet and with him not letting them come over, but he needed time to be by himself and just heal.

Now today was his first day back and he was hoping it would all go over smoothly. He had a bunch of gear to put away and then he figured they would be running drills or something. Clay walked into the cage room and saw that everyone was here in their own cages.

"Hey, he's back." Jason said, with a big welcoming smile.

"Hey man, finally. We thought you were going to lay on your couch forever." Sonny said.

"Naw, just took a bit to get fully healed. This one mine?" Clay asked, with a nod to the empty cage.

"Yup, all yours." Ray said.

Clay headed over to the cage and placed his things down on the ground for him to go through shortly. He had been running late so he didn't have time to eat just yet. He grabbed his bag where he kept his protein bars and food for the day. He grabbed the food containers out of it and placed them down on one of the shelves. He would need to put some of it in the fridge for lunch.

"Damn, you just eat all day?" Sonny commented.

"Pretty much."

Trent spoke as he went over to look at what Clay had. They had yet to have the diet conversation and now seemed like the perfect time. "What do you have? How much sugar and protein do you eat in the day?"

"Can I eat breakfast first?" Clay asked, with a smirk as he picked up one of the containers.

"You haven't eaten yet? It's nine o'clock." Trent said, not too pleased by it.

"I normally eat before I get here, but I was running late. You want to snoop, be my guest." Clay said, as he went over and sat down on the table as he opened his container of cinnamon swirl cake.

"That smells good, what the hell is it?" Sonny asked, as he joined Clay at the table.

"Cinnamon swirl cake. I baked it last night."

"You bake?" Ray asked, joining them.

"It's cheaper than buying baked goods." Clay said with a shrug.

"Cake is good for your sugar, but not for protein. You need more than that for breakfast." Trent said, as he took in the containers.

"I bake with protein powder in all of my baked food. Average adult male needs fifty grams of protein a day. I need three times that to keep my protein levels within normal range. This cake has thirty-four grams of protein in it plus eighteen grams of carbs that will dissolve into sugar. I do know what I'm doing." Clay said, and they could tell he was slightly annoyed with them questioning him and his choices.

"I didn't say you didn't. I'm just trying to get a picture of what you normally do for your diet. As the team's medic, I pay attention to all medical concerns. I bug them about their diet too, especially Sonny." Trent explained calmly.

"He does get really nosy." Sonny grumbled.

"It's my job to be nosy." Trent said to Sonny, before turning his attention back to Clay. "We only have to have this conversation once."

Clay let out a sigh before he spoke. "Normally for breakfast I will eat eggs in some form with either bacon or breakfast sausages along with a protein shake. Every couple of hours I will eat a snack. Normally it's either something I have baked, fruit or one of those protein bars. Every meal I make sure I eat meat with the food, chicken, ham, steak, etc. At night, a half an hour before I go to sleep I will eat something with a high sugar content, normally double chocolate ice cream, to hold my sugar levels up overnight."

"Like chocolate eh?" Jason said with a smirk.

"No I love chocolate. There is nothing that a chocolate milkshake can't cure." Clay said honestly.

"I guess you can eat as much of it as you want, as long as you brush your teeth." Sonny commented.

"Do you keep track of what you eat? The sugar and protein content? Do you have a tester for your sugar levels, a log or something?" Trent asked.

"Nope and before you ask, I'm never going to. I don't weigh my food, I don't do the math all day long. I just know based on how I feel what I need more of." Clay was not about to have some food journal like a woman on a diet. He wasn't going to spend his time weighing and doing calculations. That was never going to happen.

"Fair enough. What about when you go on tour? How do you guarantee you have enough protein and sugar?" Trent said, switching tactics.

"I stock up on those protein bars." Clay said, pointing to the box.

Trent picked them up and leaned against the cage door frame as he read them. "These aren't regulations." He said.

"Nope. Because I have to have so many of them in the day, especially on tour, my last CO had put in the order for bottom of the line protein bars because I was eating too many of them on tour. They tasted like cardboard, but only cost them a nickel a bar. I started to buy my own. Those ones are more expensive, two hundred bucks for a box of thirty of them, but they taste like chocolate so they are easy to eat." Clay explained.

Sonny whistled before he spoke. "That's a pricey tag. How long does a box of thirty of them last?"

"Two weeks when I am stateside. One week when I am on tour."

"And you pay for them yourself? One box a week at two hundred a pop is twenty-four hundred just while you are on tour." Ray said, shocked that Clay was shoveling out that much for protein bars.

"It's a lot, I agree. But while on tour I have to eat about four of them a day. If you have to eat the same thing four times a day for twelve weeks, you don't want them to taste like something you found on the bottom of your shoe." Clay explained with a small shrug.

"Fair enough. What about sugar?" Ray asked.

"Sugar is easy, it's in almost anything or it breaks down into sugar. I just make sure I eat often to keep it up. If I am on an op, I bring granola bars or something to eat if I need it." Clay answered, as Sonny reached over and stole a piece of Clay's cake.

Jason couldn't help but smirk at Sonny's action. He remembered that Clay told him how in the beginning he wasn't good with people taking his things or his food. Brian used to do it with him to help ease him into it. Clay just simply looked at Sonny as he spoke.

"Oh damn, that's good."

"I draw the line at you eating my protein bars."

"Fair enough." Sonny easily agreed.

"I'll put in the request to Blackburn to have these in stock when we are on tour and on the plane for you. You shouldn't have to supply the bars while you are working." Trent said.

"Won't hear any arguments from me, but I doubt they will approve it."

"Bravo can get a lot of things approved that most teams can't. With you joining the team, the Upper Brass assigned us a team doc, he will travel with us for operations and on tour. He will only have this team to look after, so today you'll have to go and check in with him. He will have questions about your allergies and he will help Trent with putting a special kit together for you so when we are in the field we have what you need." Jason explained.

"Really?" Clay was surprised by that. In Team Three he couldn't get his Commander to do anything for him.

"Yes. This isn't Team Three, we're not going to tolerate you not having the proper medical supplies. You have medical conditions that you were born with, that's not your fault and you shouldn't be punished because of it or because of your last name. We're not going to tolerate that. So meet with the doc once you get your gear set up so we are ready to go. We're not on deck today so you would have the chance to get settled in and for Trent to get what you need."

Clay gave a nod as he finished his cake and got down off the table. He went back into his cage and started to get some things in order. The guys allowed him to have some space, as they knew he wasn't used to so many people crowding around him. Once Clay had his gear put away Davis walked into the room carrying a gun case.

"Special delivery." Davis said, as she lifted the case and placed it down on the table.

"What do you got there?" Sonny asked, going over to check it out.

"It's for Clay from Admiral Baxter." Davis said.

"Seriously?" Clay said, surprised.

"Who is Admiral Baxter?" Jason asked.

"He's the Admiral that showed up a month before Green Team and told me I was going to be in Green Team. I haven't heard from him since." Clay said, as he went over to the gun case.

"I guess he's happy you made it." Ray commented.

Clay opened the case and saw that it was a brand new M107 sniper rifle. Sonny wished as he took in the new fancy rifle. These rifles were expensive and were not just given out.

"Damn, you got him all hard for ya." Sonny said with a smirk.

"He asked me that day why I could only make a shot thirty-nine hundred yards away. I told him no amount of calculations would change that a rifle could only hold enough strength to shoot to a maximum distance. My current rifle maxes out at thirty-nine hundred."

"The M107 goes to forty-four hundred yards. He wanted to see what you could do with a more powerful rifle." Jason stated.

"Apparently so. I've never fired one." Clay admitted.

"I have a couple of times. I don't tend to get to." Ray said.

"After you see the Doc, take it to the range and get acquainted with it. You don't want to fire a rifle for the first time in the field." Jason said.

Clay just gave a nod as he took in the rifle. He had never fired one before and he couldn't help but notice the sleek and beautiful design of it. Most would find it crazy that he could consider a rifle beautiful, but to him it was a piece of art and it should be treated properly. He couldn't wait until he could shoot it, but first he had to go and see the new team doctor. Clay put the rifle away before he headed out so he could meet with him and get it over and done with.

XXX

The guys all sat around a table at the Bulkhead. They were all there, with the exception of Clay who said that he would come by shortly. They weren't too sure if Clay would actually show up. He didn't seem very social outside of work. They had all been trying to contact him during his three month medical leave, and even though Clay had answered their texts, he was distant. They still didn't know where he lived. He was a very private person and they knew it was going to take a lot of work to get him to open up to them. Trent couldn't stop thinking about what the doctor had told him. They couldn't talk much about it, but the Doc was obligated to share some medical information with him as he was the Team Medic. He needed to know everything he could about Clay so he could treat him properly in the field. The information continued to play over in his mind and there was nothing he could do to turn it off. They didn't have anything definitive, but what they did have points directly towards it.

"You're quiet Trent." Sonny commented, snapping Trent out of his thoughts.

Trent gave a sigh before he took his eyes off of his beer bottle and looked at the guys. "Just something Dr. Marco said to me earlier about Clay."

"What did he say? I thought the evaluation was fine." Jason instantly said. He had been told by Dr. Marco that Clay was good and he would work with him on any drug allergies to make sure they had everything they needed for him in the field.

"It was fine, but there was a situation that came up. Clay refused the sexual aspect of the physical exam."

"Sexual part?" Sonny asked, confused.

"The male physical exam." Trent clarified.

"He didn't want to turn his head and cough? Why?" Sonny asked, even more confused now.

"Doc said he was very uncomfortable with him touching him anywhere, but he allowed it up until then. The Doc can't force it, it's within the bi-laws that anyone can refuse the sexual aspect of a physical exam, from boot camp all the way up. Clay's never had one, it's not in his medical history at all. When the Doc was questioning Clay about his sexual history, just like every doctor does with a new patient, it came back that Clay had never been with anyone."

"Wait what?" Ray asked, confused now.

That couldn't be right. Clay was twenty-four, yes he was in Africa until he was eighteen, but still. There was no way he was a virgin, that couldn't be right.

"He was probably just uncomfortable and didn't want to answer the questions." Jason reasoned.

"Only Clay had no problem talking about anything else. He said he hadn't been with anyone, had never even been kissed. When asked why, that is when Clay clammed up. Blood work all shows that he doesn't have any STDs or anything that would be contagious and stopping him from having sex. His hormone levels are all normal. He's chosen not to for a reason."

"Any idea what that reason would be?" Brock asked.

"Could be very religious." Ray suggested.

"According to the Doc, he didn't get it out of him, but Clay almost had a panic attack when he asked Clay to remove his boxers. His reaction to that and to being innocently touched, even by a medical professional, the Doc thinks he was sexually abused as a child." Trent said sadly.

That instantly took the energy out of the atmosphere. To hear that someone they now know, someone that was now their little brother, would most likely have been sexually assaulted as a child. As if Clay's childhood wasn't bad enough based on the scars that littered his skin. To have been abandoned in Africa, to have been abused by his own father, but to hear that he had most likely been raped or molested as a child. It was devastating.

"What?" Sonny asked softly.

"He has the signs of someone that was abused as a child sexually. He doesn't know, and can't tell, if it was an ongoing thing or just once. He also doesn't know if it was molestation or if it was rape. I suspect he was raped due to him not being with anyone. Him not liking being touched, even innocently, also makes me believe it wasn't a one time deal." Trent further explained.

"That fucking asshole." Jason seethed.

He didn't know who had done that to Clay, but he blamed Ash completely. If it happened before he was shipped off to Africa or afterwards, the blame rested on Ash's shoulders. He put scars on Clay's body, they had seen em and every scar that was placed on him during his childhood years, that was on Ash. Whether they were done by his own hands or not. It was just one more thing they would need to try and help heal Clay from. It was one more hurdle that they were now going to have to jump through. They weren't very touchy feely, but they did touch each other at times. Whether that was in passing, or a comforting hand when someone was upset. They've given hugs in both mourning and in joy. They were a family and with that came the occasional familial touch. It was something they would now need to be mindful of when they were around Clay. There was a whole other level of trust they would have to build with him before he would be comfortable with those innocent touches.

"We don't know it was him." Ray instantly said.

"It doesn't matter. Whether it was him or someone else. Whether he knew about it or not. Everything bad that happened to that kid is because of Ash. You don't want to be a parent, fine, but the least you can do is make sure your child is in a safe and loving home. You don't ship them off to Africa and put scars on them. We've seen his back, I couldn't even imagine standing over Emma or Mikey and whip them. A monster who does that, there's no telling what he would have done or allowed to have happened to Clay." Jason said through clenched teeth as his body was flooding with rage. If he ever saw Ash, he honestly had no idea what he would do to him.

"Do we know anymore about growing up, what happened to him?" Ray asked Trent.

"Doc wouldn't say and unless Clay told him where the scars came from, it's as good as anyone's guess. Bullet wounds are easy to spot and the whipping scars, but outside of that, it could be from anything. He does have a bullet wound that is eleven years old now he said. It was on the outside of his thigh. It wasn't a through and through and it didn't look like it hit the bone or an artery, but it would have been painful when healing. The scarring was rigid, so whoever removed the bullet, didn't do it professionally. Most likely they took pillars of some sort and started digging around for it." Trent explained.

"Jesus fuck. He would have been thirteen." Sonny said, pissed off now.

"He did say he grew up in a war zone from the age of three. I guess it would make sense for him to have been shot at some point." Brock commented.

"None of this is making me feel better." Ray stated, just as Clay walked in.

"We keep this quiet. He has to feel like he can come to us when he's ready." Jason instantly said, ending the conversation for now.

He didn't want Clay feeling uncomfortable around them or that they were going behind his back to get intel on him. They already had a long road to go with earning his trust, they didn't need to make that worse. Clay gave them a nod as he made his way towards the bar to grab a drink. He wasn't one for crowds, he had no interest in being in a bar right now, but he was trying to make an effort into getting to know his new team. Brian had always been on him about trying to be more social and moving on with his life. It wasn't easy and he still was feeling very uncomfortable with being out in a military bar where his last name was a detriment to his health and safety. Clay asked the bartender for his beer and the second the bartender walked away he noticed that there was a guy moving over to the right of him. Clay looked over and saw an attractive male just a bit older than him with black hair and dark brown eyes. He was clean shaven and he had a chiseled jaw. He was a very attractive man and based on how the man was looking at Clay, Clay knew he also found him attractive.

"Hey, you new in town?" The man asked.

"Um… No, I've been here six months now." Clay answered, as he looked around trying to mask how uncomfortable he felt.

He didn't have a problem with gay people, he was all about you loving whoever you wanted to love as long as it didn't hurt anyone. He wasn't uncomfortable with this man being gay. He was uncomfortable, because he was gay and it had been an enternal battle every day for him. There were deep horrors that made up Clay's childhood, and one of them had left him mentally scarred for life. For six years he had been abused in the worst way possible and it still haunted him to this day. When he got back to the States at eighteen, he tried to get on with his life. He tried to be normal, but that became extremely difficult when he discovered that even the most beautiful women couldn't bring any excitement to him. He wasn't attracted to them, but he was attracted to men. That's when he knew that he would never be able to have love and a family. He would never be able to fall in love and get married. He would never be kissed, because he couldn't get past the horror movie that was constantly playing in his mind.

"I'm David Yoder, Seam Team Seven." Yoder said with a warm flirty smirk.

"Clay Spenser, Bravo."

"Damn, and here I thought you were just another sailor. Shit, congrats man, that's not an easy accomplishment at your age. You're what, twenty-five?" Yoder said with a warm smile, as he looked Clay up and down.

"Twenty-four, and thanks." Clay said, as he took his beer that was placed down in front of him. "How long have you been in the Seals?" He asked, feeling like he should at least try and be friendly.

"Since I was twenty-one, so nine years now. I thought about doing Green Team, but Team Seven was down a man and me leaving would make them down two right before tour. I couldn't do that to them. I will be in the next one though."

"Good luck, it's an experience."

Clay still wasn't too sure how he felt about Green Team and everything that happened in it. Still, it was necessary to get him into DEVGRU so he would go through it all over again if he had to.

"I've been told it can be amazing and leave you wanting to die all at the same time." Yoder said with a warm chuckle.

"That is actually very accurate, ya." Clay said with his own smile.

"You got through it though and now you are a local. I could always show you around to some of the great spots that Virginia Beach has to offer."

Clay could tell that Yoder was attracted to him. He could tell his own body was attracted to Yoder, but he wasn't about to let anything happen. Eventually Yoder would get the hint and stop flirting and move on to someone else, so Clay didn't feel the need to shoot him down. As far as Yoder knew, Clay was straight and just friendly.

"Ya maybe. I'm pretty busy with Bravo between training and ops."

Yoder spoke, as he reached over and grabbed a pen from behind the bar. He then grabbed Clay's left hand that wasn't holding the beer and started to write his phone number as he spoke. "Well, here's my number. Feel free to call or message me anytime. Even if it's just to talk, I'm a good listener. I'm sure with being on Bravo you'll have something you want to rant about. I know I do with Team Seven and the guys sometimes."

Clay watched as Yoder wrote his number down and then gave him a warm smile before he headed off. He couldn't help but stand there for a moment as his mind processed what just happened. He didn't like being touched, but he also couldn't ignore the tingling sensation that was going over his left hand at just a simple touch. He hated being touched for any reason, but for some strange reason Yoder's simple touch sent a tingling sensation all over his hand and caused a warmth to spread in his chest. That had never happened before and he had been touched by guys that he found attractive before. Clay let out a shaky breath before he moved over to the table where the guys were. He sat down in between Brock and Trent as Jason spoke.

"You alright?"

"Ya… ya I'm fine." Clay said, trying to act and sound normal. He wasn't going to let anyone know what happened to him growing up or that he was gay. He was taking that to the grave.

"Who was the guy?" Sonny pressed.

"Um, David Yoder he's on Team Seven."

"He a friend of yours?" Trent asked this time, doing his best to look at Clay to read him for any type of reaction.

"Nope, just met him now."

"What did he want? He gave you his number it looked like." Sonny said, not liking this Yoder guy and what he could want with Clay. Clay didn't like being touched by a doctor and you could tell that he wasn't expecting to be touched by Yoder.

"Ya, he was just talking about Green Team and what it was like. He's thinking about doing it next time around." Clay said and they could tell he was getting uncomfortable with all of the questions and attention. Ray decided to take pity upon him and change the subject.

"Blackburn thinks we might have an op in the next couple of days."

"Ya, Mandy has been pushing for a green light on a target package. She wants us down until she can get it. Apparently it is time sensitive." Jason added.

"Good, I'm sick of being stuck around here." Sonny commented.

The conversation flowed from there, but Clay couldn't help but look over at where Yoder was at the pool tables. He was with three other guys, Clay didn't know them but assumed they were from Team Seven based on how easy their conversation was. He was trying not to stare, he didn't want to be attracted to anyone. Yet, he couldn't help but keep looking that way. When Yoder bent forward to make a shot, their eyes connected and Clay felt that heat filling his chest again. It spread lower when Yoder gave him a sexy smirk and a wink before he took his shot, sinking the eight ball and winning the game. Clay snapped his eyes back down to his beer bottle and forced his mind to think about anything else. He didn't want to feel this way and he just needed it gone. His eyes traveled over to the number written on his hand. He told himself that when he got home he would wash it off, but he knew it wouldn't make him forget about the number. His photographic memory had already committed it to his mind. He would never be able to forget the ten numbers on the palm of his hand. For once though, that thought didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. Maybe, just maybe, they could be friends and that could be good enough. This had not been the first day he was expecting, but Clay supposed it could have been a lot worse. He was looking forward to going on operations together and he was excited to see what missions were in store for him as Bravo Six.

The End.

A/N: I know, I made Clay gay again. I can't help it, I just love him as gay too much. As for Yoder, I want what I want ok? I have a bunch of oneshot ideas for this collection. I appreciate everyone that has been sticking by me with my stories. I am working hard to update them and get them written. I have been writing the full story first before I start posting chapters, so once the story is completed, you will be able to get updates routinely for that story. Let me know if you have any ideas for this collection that you would like to see!