Chapter 5: Neville Longbottom
"Miney."
Hermione's eyes shot open. "Wha- what's happening?"
She sat up and looked frantically around her. She was in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. It was dark except for a dull glow coming in through the edge of the curtains. This wasn't Australia. She felt movement at the foot of the bed and saw a small creature trying to climb up.
She almost kicked it off, but her legs froze and wouldn't do what her brain was instructing them to do. Instead she grabbed her wand and pointed it at the intruder. "Lumos!"
The light revealed a small toddler with blue hair. He was sitting up on his knees, clutching a stuffed dragon, and looking extremely scared. Hermione placed her wand on the bed and before she could consider what she was doing, she leaned forward and pulled the child onto her lap.
The little boy melted into her and Hermione wrapped her arms around him as she tried to figure out what was going on. Her mind was racing but her body was oddly calm. It was a very strange juxtaposition.
"What's your name?" Hermione asked the boy. He was quiet for a long while, then he shifted and looked up at her.
"Teddy."
Hermione held his gaze, unable to look away. He was staring at her with a look of such raw adoration that she couldn't shake the feeling that he knew her. But she'd never seen this boy, had she? The weight of him in her arms was eerily familiar and the way her heart was swelling right now... What was going on? All she knew was that sitting here with this child was calming her body while her mind ran wild, so she wasn't going to let him go anytime soon.
Teddy...Teddy...think Hermione. She only knew one Teddy and that was Teddy Lupin, but he was a small baby, and was also at St. Mungo's. But this kid did have blue hair…
"How old are you, Teddy?"
"Two."
Hermione reached over to her wand and checked the date. August 19, 2000.
"Bloody-" She looked down at Teddy and cut off. She checked the date again and it came back the same. There was no denying it. It was two years later than the last point she remembered and this child in her arms was Teddy Lupin.
"Miney owie," Teddy whined into her chest. She realized she was grabbing him tight and relaxed her grip on him.
"Sorry, Teddy."
She needed to get rid of Teddy, then she could figure out what was going on. She grabbed her wand and stood up from the bed, propping Teddy on her hip. He moved his arms up so they were linked around her neck and she smiled back at him and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
In the hall, she finally recognized where she was. Grimmauld Place. But it looked different and everything was dark, which disoriented her further. She cast "Hominem Revelio," and saw a figure sleeping on the floor underneath. She slowly made her way down the stairs, using the spell to guide her to a dark bedroom.
Her eyes had adjusted to the dark by now so she extinguished her wand as she slowly approached the sleeping figure in the bed.
"Harry sleep," Teddy said as he shifted his weight and motioned to be put down.
Hermione put him back on the floor. Harry? Was that Harry in the bed? She looked to the bedside table and saw glasses that looked like his and his wand. Relief flowed through her. Harry.
Teddy had approached the bed and placed a hand on Harry's arm. "Harry," Teddy said.
Harry's eyes shot open and he jolted, then relaxed when he saw Teddy. Harry groaned and turned to check the clock on the opposite wall. "It's five o'clock, Teddy. Way too early to be awake. Can you go back to sleep?"
Teddy nodded and started climbing into the bed. He went to the side closest to the window and Harry tucked him in. "Okay. Please, sleep for at least another hour, two would be preferred. Okay?"
Teddy mumbled something and Harry shifted back onto his side. He was lying his head back on the pillow when he spotted Hermione standing against the wall. He swore under his breath and sat up. "Shit. You scared me."
Hermione stood frozen in place, studying Harry. He looked different, which just backed up the fact that she was living in a time two years in the future. How had it happened? An incident with a time turner? Wouldn't she remember that?
"Hey. Come here," Harry whispered, patting a spot at the edge of the bed.
She slowly crossed the room to his bed and lowered herself onto the mattress. Harry began rubbing the top of her back. "Did you read your letter?"
She shook her head. She didn't know what letter he was talking about.
Harry dropped his forehead onto her shoulder and let out a sigh. "You must be so scared."
Hermione nodded as tears sprung into her eyes. Harry shifted in the bed. She saw him look down at Teddy, who seemed to be fast asleep again, and move him closer to the edge. Then Harry propped up the pillows and sat against them, motioning for Hermione to sit in the spot next to him.
She climbed further onto the bed and when she reached Harry, he wrapped one arm around her and pulled her head down so it was resting on his chest. Hermione wrapped an arm around his middle as she let herself relax against him.
"Just breathe," Harry whispered, rubbing her back lightly. "Take a few breaths and I'll tell you what's going on."
Hermione did as instructed, then listened as Harry told her about an accident she'd had over two years ago. She listened to the steady beating of his heart as he spoke. She tried to use the steady, thump, thump, thump, to anchor her to the feeling of calm in the room that was so at odds with the turmoil in her brain.
Harry's heartbeat, the soft gray light coming in from the gaps in the curtains, Teddy's quiet snores, Harry's fingers ghosting along the top of her back. She focused on all of these as Harry's words tore apart every hope, dream, and desire she'd had for her life.
Hermione was crying by the time Harry was finished with his explanation. "I know it's a lot," he whispered, "but you have a varied, full, amazing life surrounded by people who love you. You continue to accomplish things and improve the world. You've earned N.E.W.T.s, invented new spells and potions, argued cases in front of the Wizengamot, and done a hundred more things in between. You can still do everything you wanted, Hermione. I promise."
Hermione's tears started falling faster. "I can?"
"Yes. You are just as impressive a person now, as you were before."
Hermione let out a sigh. It was a lot to take in, but Harry had addressed all her fears, and now she just needed to let the information settle in her mind. She watched the clock tick on the wall as she continued to clutch Harry. 5:20. It was so early. They should be sleeping, but she didn't think her mind would be able to rest, right now.
Harry shifted and looked down at her. "How are you?"
Hermione shrugged. "Okay. Considering. Do I do this alone every morning? You said I have a letter?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah. You're usually alone. And I usually remind you to lock your door on the nights Teddy sleeps over, to prevent this. I must have forgotten."
Hermione shook her head. She couldn't imagine wading through that information by herself every morning without someone she trusted, like Harry, there to hold her close and tell her everything was going to be okay. But she understood why she did it. She couldn't very well barge into Harry's bedroom every day and make him repeat this spiel. Tears stung her eyes again and she tried to blink them back. She'd cried enough for now.
Harry pushed a curl behind her ear and began wiping the tears from her face with the edge of the sheet. "Do you want to sleep more?" he whispered.
"Will everything reset if I sleep? Won't you have to go through all that again?"
"It shouldn't reset after a short nap but if it does, I'll just tell you it all again. I don't mind."
Hermione knew she should go. She was sitting in Harry's bed, in his arms, which was wildly inappropriate. Would Ginny burst in, in a few hours and hex Hermione? Where was Ron? There was a toddler here, so at least that added some proprietary points to the situation. But even though she knew in her mind she should leave, there was no way she was going to be able to make herself go.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep with everything you just told me, but I'd like to lie here if that's okay," she replied.
Harry nodded and pushed her up to a sitting position. Then, he moved the pillows back down. He checked on Teddy again, then laid down on his side, facing Hermione. "I might sleep," he admitted.
"Of course," she said as she laid down, mirroring his pose. "You should sleep more."
He gave her a small smile and closed his eyes, but before he had a chance to fall back asleep she whispered, "Harry?"
"Hmm?"
"How weird is it that I'm in your bed right now?"
Harry opened his eyes again. "Very weird. And I've seen a lot of weird things in my life. Flying cars, people turning into animals...I met a bloke once who split his soul into pieces and put them in little objects. And one piece even went in a giant snake!"
"A giant snake?" Hermione whispered back with mock surprise before kicking him under the covers.
"Yeah. But this, you lying right there across from me, this is by far the weirdest."
Hermione smiled back at him. "Maybe I should sleep so I can forget that lame joke."
Harry gave her a beaming smile, then reached over and traced the side of her face with the back of his hand. "It's not even six, but I already know you're going to have a brilliant day, Hermione."
He pulled his hand back and she reached out and grabbed it with both of hers. They laid there for a few moments smiling at each other, then Harry said, "Okay. You need to shut up now, so I can sleep."
She nodded but didn't let go of his hand.
After another few minutes, Harry cracked one eye open and asked, "Are you just going to lie there and watch me sleep?"
Hermione blushed. She had been doing just that, but not on purpose. She'd been absently watching him as she replayed what he'd told her, then tried to guess at how her friends' lives were these days. She shrugged. "Yeah. Seems like it." She waited to see if he was finally going to kick her out.
"Okay. Just making sure." He gave her one more smile before closing his eyes again, this time for good.
And she did lie there and watch him sleep for over an hour and it didn't feel weird. When Teddy began to stir Hermione crept out of the bed and picked Teddy up and carried him out of the room so Harry could have more time to sleep.
Hermione was sitting at her desk with one arm wrapped around Teddy, who was bouncing on her lap and waving her wand as it emitted bubbles.
"Norby pop! Norby pop!" he was repeating as bubbles landed and popped on his stuffed dragon. Hermione shifted Teddy and moved the wand so the bubbles went out into the room instead of landing on the papers on the desk. She was pretty sure Teddy would be fine if she set him down, but she liked the feeling of holding him. He was solid, unlike all the thoughts in her mind.
But Hermione was learning more by the minute. She'd learned that "Norby" was the name of Teddy's dragon. She wondered if it was named after Norbert, the Norwegian Ridgeback Hagrid had fostered for a few months. Hermione had also learned a lot more about her and her friends' lives.
She'd read through all the notes on her desk and learned that it hadn't been completely inappropriate for her to lie in bed with Harry this morning, as neither of them were dating anyone. Ginny was dating a witch now and Ron was currently "in between girlfriends," whatever that meant.
Hermione had learned that she'd made a promise to live with Harry "no matter what," that she was in the middle of some sort of personal challenge to "live one day at a time," and she'd learned that at the end of the day she wrote her thoughts in a notebook with two sections, one was supposed to be visible for the whole month and the other part invisible. Since the notebook was blank, she figured she'd been taking all her daily notes in the invisible section, which was curious. It must be part of the challenge.
She'd also learned a bit about what she'd been up to this month by reading little notes on a large calendar on the desktop. She'd gone to an Animal Shelter with Luna twice, gone to a Wizengamot trial last Wednesday, made potions on the previous two Tuesdays, and spent a few days with Ginny. On the calendar for today, she'd written: Hogwarts.
That was why she was reading Neville's summary now, since she assumed she'd see him later today.
Neville Longbottom
Neville lives at Hogwarts and is working towards earning a Herbology Mastery under Professor Sprout. He's making great progress and Professor Sprout says he'll be a shoo-in for her job when she retires in five years. That would make Neville the youngest Hogwarts Professor in history.
He's not currently dating anyone and doesn't seem to care. He's completely focused on earning his Mastery now and said he'll have plenty of time for "all that drama" later. But that hasn't kept the entire female population of Hogwarts from having a crush on him and sending him little gifts and notes via owl, which he hates and finds slightly creepy since most of his admirers are underage. We all tease him endlessly about it and call him "Professor Lovebottom."
His parents are still in St. Mungo's and he visits them once a week with his Gran. Besides Harry, he is the most understanding of your condition and believes you can live a completely normal life despite your memory loss. If you ever need anything and Harry isn't available, reach out to Neville and he'll drop everything to come and help.
"Hi."
Hermione jumped and turned to find Harry leaning against the doorframe.
"Harry! Norby pop!" Teddy cried.
"Oh. You're popping bubbles on Norbert? Cool." Harry came into the room and crouched in front of Teddy. He made a big show of inspecting the stuffed, red dragon. "Well, luckily he seems unharmed. It must be that strong dragonhide."
Teddy nodded seriously, then held the wand up to Harry's face, flooding him with a stream of bubbles.
"Okay, thanks for that." Harry laughed as he held his hands up to shield his face and stood back up, out of the line of fire. He took his glasses off and cleaned them on his pajamas before turning to Hermione. "Thanks for watching him this morning."
Hermione set Teddy down on the ground and rose to face Harry. "Of course. Thanks for - uh - this morning."
"For letting you watch me sleep?" he teased, nudging her arm.
"Yeah. And, you know, helping me."
"Glad to. Come here," Harry pulled her into a hug. "When did he wake up?" Harry asked as he pulled away, ending the hug much too quickly for Hermione's liking.
"Around 6:30. I took him down to the kitchen, we had some cereal, then read some books in his room, until he got too squirmy, then we came up here and he's been playing while I've been learning about my life." She motioned toward the papers spread across the desk.
"Damn. You had a whole day." Harry looked over at the clock, which had just turned to 8:30. "I usually have a wand alarm set, sorry about that. I must not have-"
"I turned it off. I thought you should sleep."
Harry started, then a slow smile spread across his face. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."
She let out a small laugh. "I really hope that's not true. Actually, I know that's not true. I've done nicer things for you in the past."
"You sure have." Harry turned to Teddy. "Okay, Teddy. Let's leave Hermione alone. She's going to Hogwarts today and probably wants to get ready."
"Is there a particular time I'm supposed to be there?"
"No. You typically just wake up naturally, take your time getting ready, and make your way over. When you get to the gates just send a Patronus to Neville and he'll let you in. But don't leave without saying goodbye. We'll be in the kitchen -since I'm starved, and I'm sure Teddy won't say no to a snack. He's like a bottomless pit."
Harry pulled Teddy up to a standing position and took Hermione's wand out of his hand, turned off the bubbles, and handed it to Hermione. Teddy looked shocked and Hermione could tell he was working himself up to cry, when Harry picked him up and held him upside down, causing him to laugh, instead.
"We're going to go get a snack, okay?" Harry asked.
"Okay!"
Harry flipped Teddy around and set him back on the ground. "How about you go meet me in the kitchen and get some plates out for you, Norbert, and me."
Teddy nodded and bounded toward the hall.
"Careful on the stairs!" Harry called. He turned back to Hermione. "I should have asked. Do you have any questions for me? Are you okay?"
She had a million questions, obviously, but there was nothing pressing at the moment. She felt…okay…calm. "I feel good. I think I'm good. I, I just -" Hermione sighed and took a moment to organize her thoughts into words.
"I can tell from all my notes and also from how I feel that you -" She stopped again. There were no words adequate to describe her feelings. So, instead of speaking, she crossed the room and threw her arms around Harry, wrapping them tightly around his neck.
Hermione had to tear herself away from Grimmauld Place to go to Hogwarts. She was having so much fun playing with Harry and Teddy that she considered sending a Patronus to Neville and asking if they could reschedule. It was ultimately Harry who nudged her out the door.
"I know I said you didn't have to be there at any particular time, but sometime today would probably be nice," he quipped.
"I sort of just want to stay here with you two," she admitted, slightly embarrassed.
"Teddy and I would love that, but believe me, once you get there you'll wish you had more time. Every time you go to Hogwarts you come back incredibly late. So, just go and try it out, if you're not enjoying yourself, you can come right back. We'll be here. Right, Teddy?"
"Right!" Teddy replied immediately and she knew he had no idea what he was agreeing to.
Now Hermione was standing outside the gates of Hogwarts, waiting for Neville. It was strange standing here in normal clothes. She couldn't remember a time she hadn't at least been wearing school robes.
She saw Neville coming up the path and he waved when he saw her, beaming. He looked different from when she'd last seen him, right at the end of the war. All the injuries he'd sustained from the Carrows had healed, though there were slight traces of scars if you squinted. He was a little bulkier, which was good, as he'd seemed almost starved back then.
His hair was neater and he had a small amount of stubble but she guessed that unlike Harry's, which seemed purposeful, Neville's was just due to not shaving for a few days. He was handsome but had that endearing quality of someone who had no idea they were attractive. She could certainly see why the witches of Hogwarts liked him.
"It's great to see you, Professor Lovebottom," she teased as he opened the gate.
"Ack. Do you want to stay on that side of the gate?"
"No sir! Please let me in, Professor Long-bottom," she corrected.
"Professor-in-training Longbottom," he countered. He'd finished opening the gates and pulled Hermione into a big hug.
"I thought you weren't going to show," Neville said as they pulled apart, then he started closing the gates behind them.
"I'm sorry about that. We were playing with Teddy and I lost track of time. How are you?"
"I'm good. You? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages, but I think it's only been about three weeks."
"Well, I feel like I last saw you at that Order of Merlin ceremony two weeks ago, but you were a lot thinner and covered in cuts and bruises."
Neville let out a small laugh. "I'm surprised you have any memories of that night. We were all so drunk."
"Yeah. It was fun. Anyway, what are we doing, today?"
He cocked his head toward the castle. "Come on. It's easier to just show you."
Neville led Hermione to his private greenhouse and showed her the hybrid plants he was working on growing. One of the requirements for earning his Mastery was to make a new plant with beneficial uses. But this was proving very complicated for a number of reasons.
Neville explained how the process of breeding hybrid plants wasn't very hard, but figuring out what the new plant required to thrive was proving exceedingly difficult. And after that, he had to try to figure out what the plant did, if anything. Would its leaves be helpful in a potion? Would it make a sap or pus that could be useful in healing? Would it cry, scream, yell, sing? Or maybe it would only be useful under the full moon.
"That does seem very complicated," Hermione affirmed.
"Yeah," Neville replied with a wistful smile and Hermione could tell he still loved the work.
Neville turned to her. "Okay. I'll show you why you're really here, now."
"What do you mean? I'm here to see you, aren't I?"
Neville shook his head as he opened the door to the Greenhouse for her. "That's the excuse for Harry."
"Wait. What? I'm lying to Harry?"
"No. Well, yes. But it's nothing bad. And he knows you're working on some project, he's not stupid, but he doesn't know what it is. Just come on. You'll see." Neville led the way up to the castle and Hermione followed close behind him, extremely curious now.
"Where are we going?"
"The library."
Okay. That wasn't surprising.
"You have a private room there that stays locked up between your visits," he explained. "It's the same one you nearly lived in when you were studying for your N.E.W.T.s."
Harry had mentioned this morning that she'd earned her N.E.W.T.s. It had seemed impossible, but Neville was confirming it now. "Did I live here at Hogwarts before I lived at Grimmauld Place?"
Neville shook his head. "You lived with Ron first for about three months but after you broke up with him you moved in with Harry. That was also around the time school started up and you came to study for your N.E.W.T.s during the day but went home every night. So, you spent all day here, but spent your nights back in London. Except for when you fell asleep in the library, which happened fairly often."
"Oh. And then I woke up in the middle of the library, extremely confused?" That sounded awful.
"No, of course not. That's where me and Ginny came in." Neville was smiling proudly. "We both lived at the castle that year and looked out for you when you were here. There was a free bed in her dormitory and if you fell asleep in the library before making it back home, we'd carry you to the Gryffindor Tower and take turns helping you in the morning."
Neville paused to frown. "It was a lot harder back then. It would take hours for you to come to terms with what was going on and feel well enough to start the day. Harry and Ron were always the best at it, getting you through it all in half the time the rest of us could do it, but they were so busy with Auror training back then and couldn't be here, every time. But that's all better now. You told me last time you were here that it takes you about an hour these days. Right?"
Hermione was about to say that she'd done it in twenty minutes this morning but held back. She'd been in Harry's bed, lying in his arms, so that wasn't a typical morning. And the twenty minutes hadn't included reading all the notes on her desk, so that would have added another ten or fifteen minutes. But still, that was well under an hour. She just nodded in response to Neville's question.
"Your subconscious knows," Neville said eagerly, nudging her side. "It's learning. That's why it's easier this year than last year and next year will be even better."
"You think so?"
"I know so. In the beginning, you were so alarmed to see me. You'd curl up into a ball and tell me to leave and get Harry or Ron. I wasn't offended or anything. We were friends before, but not that close, like we are now. But after just a few months you got used to me. Your mind was still muddling through everything but the rest of you was more at ease. You wouldn't lean away from me and would relax when I hugged you. Anyway, all that to say that I think by next year you'll have your morning routine down to under thirty minutes."
Hermione had stopped in the hall. Neville turned to face her. "What? Are you okay?"
She walked forward a few paces and hugged him. "Thank you so much. I had no idea you did all that for me."
"No worries, Hermione. I was happy to help."
They pulled away and continued towards the library. "And, well, thanks for telling me all of that," Hermione continued. "I'm sure we've had this conversation before and-"
"Hermione," he cut in. "Even people with intact memories relive old times. I don't mind. Really. Plus, talking to someone my own age is a huge relief. I love it here and all, but the Professors are all much older and the students much younger, so I don't have any real friends. I spend most of my time talking to plants."
Hermione gave him a sad smile. She could see how it would be hard for him to make friends and hoped that besides her, the rest of their friends came to visit him regularly. She'd ask Harry when she saw him later.
"The most fun I've ever had here was just over a year ago," he started to tell her. "It was right after I'd graduated and all the students had left the castle but you were still studying, working on your final N.E.W.T. I think it was Transfiguration. Harry came to the castle to study for his Auror exam and you two decided to just live here, instead of traveling back and forth each day."
"We lived here?"
"Just for a month. The three of us lived in the Gryffindor Tower and had the whole castle and grounds to ourselves. We hung out with the Professors, had tea with Hagrid every day, went to Hogsmeade a lot, and Harry tried to teach us how to fly. It was really fun."
"Where was Ginny?"
"Oh. They'd broken up earlier that year, around Easter."
"Do you know why?"
Neville shook his head. "I don't know the details. I know it was her idea and at first Harry was pretty down about it, but he got over it pretty quickly." They'd just walked into the library and Neville stopped in front of a small door on the left. "Here we are."
He took a key out of his pocket to unlock the door and opened it to reveal a small, dusty room with a sliver of a window on the side. There was a large table that nearly filled the entire room that was covered in books and scattered notes.
"What is all this?" Hermione asked, bending over to read a nearby parchment. It contained notes in her writing on advanced spell theory.
When she looked back at Neville, he was holding a letter out for her and she recognized her handwriting on the outside. "Oh. Another letter."
Neville was trying, and failing, to suppress a grin. "There are details about it all in here, but, in a nutshell, you're doing all this research for Harry."
"What?" That didn't make sense. Why would she keep this a secret from Harry if it was for him?
"We all know he'd be an incredible Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, even better than Lupin, but McGonagall can't give him the job while there's still a curse on the position."
"That curse is still in place? But Voldemort died."
"That's what all this research is about." Neville motioned toward the table. "You've been trying to figure out how it stuck around after his death and what needs to be done to remove it. Then Harry can have his dream job."
"Oh. Wow. That's...really nice of me." Hermione smiled inwardly as she thought of the moment when she'd reveal to Harry what she'd been working on at Hogwarts.
"Unsurprising," Neville announced. "I'll leave you to it. It'll take you a few hours to unwind everything, but it will all come back to you, it always does. I'll come get you for dinner and if you need anything sooner, send a Patronus."
"Thanks," she said absently. She'd already started reading the letter.
It was after dinner and Hermione was deep into her research. She saw why Harry said she always stayed late when she visited Hogwarts and she wished she'd left the house earlier this morning. It took her a full two hours to take stock of all the research she'd already completed and now that she was back into it, she didn't want to stop.
She'd figured out that last time she was here she'd had a sort of breakthrough. Since Voldemort was dead, that meant the curse hadn't been tied to his magic but was bound to another source. She'd figured out that he'd somehow managed to tie the curse to the castle's magic. And the breakthrough had been that she could use artifacts from all the founders, which had been conveniently collected by Voldemort, to remove the curse.
It would simply be a matter of figuring out the mechanics of the counter spell but once that was done, McGonagall, as the Headmistress, should be able to lift the curse while channeling the magical properties of the locket, cup, diadem, and sword. Hermione guessed she was about two to three days away from figuring it all out.
She'd already decided she'd be back tomorrow and had worked it out with Neville and McGonagall over dinner. Now, she was taking notes for her to read tomorrow. The first line she wrote was: I was so close to figuring it all out near the end of July, then stopped abruptly. Why?
She puzzled over the question for a few more minutes before writing out the rest of her notes. Then she turned to the large tome on Spell Theory and began to read. An hour later, the early morning wake-up from Teddy finally caught up with her and she fell asleep on top of the book.
Hermione was awoken later by the feeling of someone picking her up. Her mind felt sluggish and she forced her eyes open, but all she could see were large, blurry shapes. Her mind seemed to be struggling to make sense of the sensory input and after several moments of trying to sort out the colors and shapes around her, with no success, she just closed her eyes again. That was better.
"Can you wrap your arms around my neck?" the person holding her asked. She couldn't place the voice but she knew it was someone she trusted, so she complied.
"Sorry, Hermione. I lost track of time. You'll be fine, though. You can stay in the Gryffindor Tower tonight and I'll send a note for Harry to bring your things."
"Harry," she mumbled. Her mind was gripping onto something. Harry. There was something she needed to tell him.
"Yeah. Harry Potter," the voice said. "I'm sure you've heard of him. I'm actually surprised he's not here looking for you...ah. There we go."
"She fell asleep?" a second voice asked. This one was even more familiar. She heard footsteps coming toward them and tried to open her eyes again, but still couldn't make anything out.
"I have to tell Harry," she whispered.
There was a gentle hand on her face and the second voice said soothingly, "You can sleep, Hermione. You don't have to try to make sense of this."
The hand left her face and the second voice added, "Teddy woke her up at five this morning."
"Teddy woke her up? That must have been alarming."
"She did okay," the second person said proudly.
Hermione tried to open her eyes again but everything was still blurry and her head pounded painfully as she tried to make sense of it all. She was having trouble making out the voices, now. The person holding her stopped walking and she felt herself being passed to someone else. This new person smelled really good. The other one had smelled like dirt.
The voices mumbled something to each other but she couldn't make out the words and just snuggled closer to whoever was holding her. Theories on spell making were running through her head along with images of her parents, passages from that book on memory charms, Ron's face, and Harry's. There was something she needed to tell Harry.
She was being lowered into a bed, then tucked in. Someone whispered in her ear, "Hey, Hermione. It's Harry. I can tell you're fighting to stay awake but that never works. Just stop. It's time to sleep now and I'll be right here in the room with you when you wake up in the morning."
"I need to tell Harry - it's important," she murmured.
"What is it?"
Her eyes fluttered open and she saw a blurry version of Harry in front of her. She figured it was her mind conjuring up the image of the person she needed to see right then. "That I love him," she whispered. "He needs to know."
She closed her eyes again and felt the person place a soft kiss on her forehead. He whispered, "He knows, Hermione," right before she finally lost consciousness.
Hermione woke up in what looked like the boy's dormitory in the Gryffindor Tower where Harry and Ron used to sleep. She was sure she was still dreaming since there was no way this was a scene from her real life. Harry was sitting up in his bed, looking much too old for Hogwarts, and reading what looked like the Daily Prophet. How bizarre. He smiled when she saw her looking at him.
"Harry?"
"Hey."
"What's happening? This is a dream, right?"
He shook his head and put the paper down, then got up and walked over to her, stopping next to the bed. She looked around the room and saw she was lying in what used to be Ron's bed. What was she doing here? And why was Harry here with her? Where was Ron? Where were her parents?
She pulled herself up to a sitting position and looked over at Harry, who was smiling at her as his eyes scanned her face, looking for what, she had no idea. "There's a letter that explains everything going on or I can just tell you. Which do you prefer?" he asked.
"You," she said quickly.
He smiled. "Can I sit next to you?"
"Of course." Hermione shifted to the side of the bed as Harry climbed in and sat next to her. She was completely confused and couldn't imagine what was possibly going on, but as soon as she linked her arms in Harry's and laid her on his shoulder, she felt better.
"Okay, here we go," Harry started.
Hermione had a bounce in her step as she walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room after lunch. She'd had a lovely morning with Harry and Neville spent flying, of all activities, but it had been fun. She stayed no more than twenty feet off the ground and was pleasantly surprised when the broom responded to her. And it had been a nice way to explore the grounds and enjoy the beautiful, clear weather.
After that, she and Harry had helped Neville tend to a few of his hybrid plants in the greenhouses, then had lunch in the Great Hall with the Professors. Hermione had stayed back to catch up with one of her favorite teachers, Professor Vector, and was on her way to meet back up with the boys.
Harry and Neville were talking in the Common Room, facing the empty fireplace, and before Hermione could announce her presence, she heard Neville say, "Hermione told me last night she wanted to spend all day in the library. How angry is she going to be that I waited until after lunch to tell her?"
Hermione stepped back into the hall and strained her ears, curious to hear how Harry would respond. "She'll be fine. Worst case, she can just come back tomorrow. She doesn't have any plans. Are you going to tell me what this secret project is that she's working on?"
Secret project? Hermione mouthed to herself. It must be a really good secret, since even she didn't know about it. She smiled inwardly at her joke as Neville said, "I don't know much about it."
"You are an awful liar," Harry teased. "No matter, I'm sure I'll find out soon enough."
"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Neville asked.
"I might stop by the Burrow and say hi to everyone, then run a few errands before my date this afternoon."
Hermione started. Date? Harry had a date? Why hadn't he mentioned that to her? Weren't they best friends? Shouldn't they share these sorts of things with each other?
"Ahh. Another setup?" Neville asked.
"Yeah. This one is from Ron."
Hermione perked up at that. Ron had set him up? Why couldn't Harry find his own dates? He was the savior of the wizarding world, and also very handsome and funny and nice and clever and, and, and easy to talk to - certainly the sort of man who was perfectly capable of finding himself a date.
"How does Ron choose which witches he's going to date and which ones he's going to set aside for you?" Neville joked.
Harry laughed. "I don't think I want to know."
"I don't know why you agreed to this," Neville continued in a low voice.
Harry just sighed. "Whatever. Tonight won't be so bad. Worst case, she's awful but I still get to watch a Quidditch match. Ginny's playing so that will be entertaining."
"Best case, you find 'the one?'" Neville quipped.
"Yeah right," Harry muttered darkly.
Hermione felt sick. She stepped back further into the hall. She'd got the impression that she and Harry had grown very close since her accident, but apparently they were keeping secrets from each other. Harry had mentioned the Quidditch game to her over lunch but left out the fact that he was going with a witch. And apparently Hermione was working on some sort of secret project that she was keeping from Harry. Why?
She wiped away a few tears that were threatening fall, took a deep breath, then marched loudly back into the Common Room. Both boys turned when she walked through the doorway.
"Hey," Neville said, standing up. "Good chat with Professor Vector? Or, uh, Septima. I'm supposed to be calling them all by their given names since they're technically my colleagues now, but it's hard to break the habit."
"Yeah. Uh. It was good." She tried to act casual but her voice came out all high-pitched. She swallowed and plastered a smile on her face as she avoided Harry's gaze. "You said you wanted to show me something after lunch?" she asked Neville.
"Yeah. Are you ready?"
Hermione nodded.
"Okay. That's my cue to leave," Harry announced. He got up from the chair and stretched his arms over his head.
"You have that Quidditch match later, right?" Hermione asked as flippantly as she could manage.
"Yeah, at four. Ginny's playing."
"Nice."
Harry was looking at her oddly, obviously picking up on her awkwardness. "Are you okay?"
She waved him away. "I'm fine."
He looked unconvinced. "Okay. Well, I'll see you back at the house later. I should be there when you get back but if not, your room is on the third floor."
"Okay."
"Are you?" he asked again. "Okay?"
"I'm fine. I hope you have a wonderful day, Harry." The words felt insincere coming out of her mouth, but she couldn't pinpoint why.
As Hermione worked in the small room Neville had led her to in the library, she puzzled over several questions that were distracting her from the larger question she was supposed to be solving, of how to lift the curse on the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.
She'd been glad to find that there was nothing sinister behind the secret she'd been keeping from Harry. It was actually really sweet, what she was doing, and she guessed the only reason she hadn't told Harry about it, was so she wouldn't get his hopes up, in case she couldn't manage the task.
But there was still the question of Harry's date, and why he'd kept it a secret from Hermione. There was also the question about why Hermione felt sick every time she thought of Harry on a date with another witch. It couldn't be jealousy. Could it? No, of course not. Was it even possible for her to develop feelings for Harry when her mind reset each night?
And she'd also been trying to sort through an odd note she'd written the day before that said: I was so close to figuring it all out near the end of July, then stopped abruptly. Why?
Hermione had a feeling all three questions were related but couldn't figure out how. As she read the pile of texts she'd left for herself to study, her mind swirled with images of Harry. She pictured him laughing at a Quidditch match with another witch, teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts to a group of first years, flying next to her and reaching over to correct her form, walking arm in arm with her at Hogsmeade. Wait - had they done that? Or was she imagining that?
As Hermione brought the image up again, she saw Harry with a faceless, blonde witch instead of her. He was walking with his arm around her as they turned down the path away from the main street toward a residential street. Is that where he would live if he taught here? Probably. Only the Professors without families lived at Hogwarts, but the ones with spouses and kids usually had a house in Hogsmeade and went home to their families every night.
It wasn't until a tear fell and smudged a spot on her notes that Hermione realized she was crying. Then she put it all together. She read the note again. I was so close to figuring it all out near the end of July, then stopped abruptly. Why?
"Oh, shit," she whispered. It wasn't like her to be on the brink of discovery, then just, stop. She'd stopped on purpose because she didn't want to solve this problem. And the reason was painfully obvious.
Hermione didn't want Harry to move here and leave her back in London. She'd become attached to him, that much was clear. All day today, she'd felt calmer when she was close to him and had been on edge ever since he'd left. And the thought of Harry moving on with his life, finding a wife, getting a family, didn't make her happy, like it should, but rather, sick to her stomach.
Harry must know about this unhealthy dependency she'd developed. That was why he'd hidden the date, so as not to upset her.
Hermione's tears began to fall faster. She'd thought her life was good earlier today, but as she viewed it through this lens, she saw that it was actually quite pathetic. She'd fallen asleep at Hogwarts last night instead of going home and what had Harry done? He'd packed his bag and spent the night here in a dormitory, when he had a perfectly fine house in London, just so he could help his nutter friend start her day off okay.
That wasn't sustainable. He couldn't be with her every morning. Poor Harry. He was probably desperate to move on, but at a loss for how to extricate himself from her.
Hermione continued to cry, all thoughts of her initial research abandoned as a new problem began to form in her mind. And just like it always did when faced with a problem, her brain began working on a way to solve it.
After dinner, Hermione cornered McGonagall and asked to speak with her privately. If McGonagall was surprised by the invitation, she gave no indication as she led the way to the entrance to her office on the sixth floor.
Hermione had only been in this office a handful of times (that she remembered) and it looked about the same. The most notable difference were two large portraits behind the Headmistress's chair, one for Dumbledore and one for Snape. Hermione was relieved to find both wizards asleep in their frames, since the conversation she had planned was going to be hard enough without an audience.
McGonagall took a seat behind her desk and watched Hermione as she paced the room, trying to figure out how to phrase her request without sounding completely pathetic. She should have sorted this part out before requesting the meeting, but it's not like she had endless amounts of time on her hands.
"What is it, my dear? I can tell you're troubled."
Hermione sighed. There was no way to say this without sounding pathetic. It was going to be an uncomfortable conversation no matter what, but at least she'd forget it soon. "It's my research, Professor. Or - uh - Headmistress." Hermione reached into her robe and pulled out a thick envelope, which she handed to McGonagall before taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of the large desk.
"What is this?" McGonagall asked, placing the envelope on the desk between them.
"I'm very close to figuring out how to break the curse. Maybe two, three days away."
"Impressive, though I'm not surprised you managed it, Miss Granger. That's good news, right? Why do you look so upset?"
Hermione motioned toward the envelope. "I've listed all of the next steps required and I'm sure you can pick it up from the notes. They're very detailed."
"I don't doubt that. But I don't understand. Are you planning to stop? I thought you'd want to see this to the end."
Hermione kept her gaze on the letter. "I want to be the one to fix it and I'd also like to be the one to tell Harry. But I'm, uh, worried I may try to sabotage my own work."
McGonagall frowned but stayed quiet. She nodded encouragingly for Hermione to continue with her explanation. Hermione took a deep breath before speaking again. "It's - uh - I guess it's normal for people to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment, but then they think on it and once they've had a chance to cool down and really consider the situation, they can backtrack or undo whatever bad they've done."
McGonagall nodded, but looked confused.
"I can't do that," Hermione continued. "Since I'll forget. And I'm worried I might undo all my research or try to hide it and I wanted you to know, just in case. If, later, I give up, or say it's impossible, or -" Hermione cut off and dropped her head again, this time focusing down on her lap. She didn't need to elaborate; she was sure McGonagall knew what she was getting at.
McGonagall was silent for several moments and a few tears fell into Hermione's lap. She wiped them away quickly. She didn't want to cry right now. This was already embarrassing enough without breaking down in front of one of the people she admired most in the world.
"Hermione," McGonagall began. Hermione looked up, caught off guard by the elder witch's use of her given name. She couldn't remember a time when McGonagall had called her 'Hermione' before.
"First of all, you put far too much pressure on yourself. You have plenty of time to break this curse. I've just hired someone for the next school year, so I don't need it broken for at least another year, and even if you lifted this curse today, I wouldn't give the job to Mr. Potter. He knows that. We've discussed it. I'd wait at least ten years, give him a chance to relax, enjoy that cushy job Kingsley should have offered him from the start, and just - be young for a bit."
And date, Hermione added in her mind. She nodded at McGonagall.
"Why do you suspect you'll sabotage this project?" McGonagall asked next.
Hermione hesitated, then said in a rush, "I know there won't be a spot for me in Harry's life here and I guess I'm just scared at the prospect of being left behind."
McGonagall looked at her sadly. Hermione dropped her head again, unable to maintain the other witch's gaze. "I've known Mr. Potter longer than most - longer even than you have, though not by much," McGonagall began. Hermione nodded, keeping her eyes down on her lap. "There's something I've learned about him in that time. There is one thing he desires above all else. I'm sure you know."
"A family of his own," Hermione provided.
"Yes."
Hermione took a moment to blink back tears, then looked up at McGonagall. "Harry deserves a family. He deserves someone who can give him a family, as big as the Weasleys if he wants."
"My dear," McGonagall said gently, "he already has a family."
"Oh. Yeah. I guess. All his friends...and Teddy."
"No. You. You're his family, Miss Granger. The two of you have never left the others' side since your first year at Hogwarts. Then through the war, and this accident of yours, you've created a life together. Wherever Mr. Potter is, I'm sure you won't be far away and I cannot see him making a life for himself here without ensuring there was space for you in it."
"But, but Harry needs to get a real family one day," Hermione argued. "He needs to marry someone else, have kids and I - I can't be his roommate, forever."
"Is that what you want, Miss Granger?"
Hermione stayed quiet. No, of course not. Tears were streaming down her face now. She was no longer able to hold them back.
"I may be an old lady and it may have been a lifetime ago when I last dealt with matters of the heart, but I'm positive that's not what Mr. Potter wants, either."
Hermione shook her head. "Headmistress, I don't think-"
McGonagall raised her hand to silence Hermione. "At the risk of sounding too blunt, let me say this, because I want to make sure my meaning is clear: That man is head over heels in love with you, Hermione."
For a brief moment, Hermione let herself believe her old Professor. She let herself believe that Harry hadn't told her about his date because it meant nothing to him. She let herself imagine that she hadn't grown dependent on Harry, but was upset about being apart from him today because she'd developed feelings for him.
Hermione let herself think that Harry had come to Hogwarts last night not because he'd felt he had to, but because he wanted to see her, because he missed her. And she imagined him walking through Hogsmeade again but this time, the witch he had an arm around was her. And he'd find a house for them to live in and invite her to join him, not out of necessity or a sense of duty, but because he wanted her there as much as she wanted to be there.
It was certainly a better lens to look at her life through. But she had a sinking feeling that it was just a desperate hope, and not reality. Perhaps McGonagall was just reading more into their close friendship than was actually there. It wouldn't be the first time someone had done that.
"I think you're mistaken," Hermione whispered, hoping she wasn't coming off as impertinent. "He's on a date right now with someone Ron set him up with."
When McGonagall didn't speak, Hermione lifted her head and was surprised to find the Headmistress looking at her sternly. "With all due respect, Miss Granger, your interpretation of the situation is based on a few hours of observation and some limited information about a supposed date. My assessment is based on years of studying the two of you, much of that time from the past two years, which you don't remember, so, I believe my view is the stronger one here."
Hermione had nothing to say to that. McGonagall looked smug. She tapped the envelope Hermione had given her at the beginning of the meeting. "I will keep this, but I'm confident I won't need it. And, Miss Granger, you need to learn to listen to your intuition and ignore the insecurities from your youth. They aren't serving you."
"That's a lot easier said than done, Professor, or - uh - Headmistress."
"I believe Mr. Potter is willing to help you with that, my dear. You just need to let him."
Hermione was completely useless after her meeting with McGonagall. She abandoned her research in favor of a familiar fiction novel and took it back to the Gryffindor Common Room. She tried to read but kept getting distracted by thoughts of Harry. McGonagall said he loved her, and McGonagall was very smart, but if he loved her, why was he with someone else right now?
Her eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall and she tried to guess what Harry was doing at the moment. It was 7:30. Harry had said the Quidditch match started at 4:00 and they usually lasted two hours. So around 6:00, he would have taken his date to dinner. That would last until about 7:30, which was now. So, was he walking her home? No, that was too early to end a date. They'd probably gone to a pub for drinks.
Hermione tried to focus back on her book. She told herself that even if Harry did start dating someone else, he wasn't just going to abandon her. That part of what McGonagall had said was right, they were like family now. There would always be a spot for her in his life.
She managed to distract herself until 8:00. They'd be at the pub by now. Would he have taken her to a Muggle location or a Wizarding one? What would they order? Hermione rubbed her temples and was glad that in a few hours, she was going to forget this madness.
8:30. If they'd gone out for drinks, would they be finished by now? Was it time to say goodnight? Were they standing outside the witch's door? Was Harry going to lean in and kiss her? Or would the witch invite Harry inside? Hermione shook her head, trying to clear it of that last thought. Her stomach was turning and she wished she'd skipped dinner tonight.
Hermione sighed. It was time for her to go home. She should pick herself up off this sofa and make her way back to Grimmauld Place. But what if it was empty? Would she go crazy trying to imagine where Harry was at that moment? Or, worse, what if he'd brought his date there? No. She'd wait a safe amount of time before heading back home, though Hermione had no idea how long that was.
At 9:00, Hermione heard a knock and looked up to find Harry standing in the entryway. He'd just rapped his hands on the doorframe to get her attention.
"Harry," she said, completely surprised to see him there. He was supposed to be shagging some random witch right now.
"Hey," he said as he walked into the room. He looked good. He had on a pale grey button-down shirt with dark jeans. His hair was less messy than usual and his eyes were bright and smiling. She was sure his date had been impressed with his appearance.
"You're...here," Hermione placed her book down and stood up slowly, wondering if this was real or if maybe she'd officially gone mad and was just seeing what she wanted to see.
"I am," Harry confirmed.
Hermione stopped in front of him and brushed his arm, just to be sure he was real, and it was solid, which was a good sign. She hadn't gone completely mad. Well, not yet. "You're not home?"
"No. I believe we've established that I'm here. How was the rest of your day?" Harry went to sit on the sofa she'd just left, stretching his legs out in front of him.
Hermione took a tentative seat next to him, moving her book from earlier out of the way. "It was boring. Your turn, now. How was your day?" She tried not to sound too eager when she asked the question.
"It was fine. The Quidditch match went on for four hours. Can you believe that? I like Quidditch and all, but that was a little much. Poor Ginny looked like she was about to fall off her broom by the end. But her team won."
Hermione nodded, she didn't care about the Quidditch match, she wanted to hear about the next part of the evening. "Okay. Then, uh, what did you do?" Four hours, so the Quidditch match had ended an hour ago at 8:00. What would that have given him time for? A quick shag?
"None of your business!" a stern voice screamed in her mind.
"Then, I went to this gyro stand we like near the house and picked up dinner, went to the house to eat it…" he let his voice trail off.
So, his date was the type of carefree witch who didn't need a nice, fancy dinner. That was exactly Harry's type. "Gyros. Nice," Hermione said with a forced smile. "What did your date think of that?
Harry's face fell. "Did Neville tell you I had a date?"
"No. I overheard you two talking."
"Oh."
"You could have told me. I don't know why it was some big secret. You should go on dates, Harry. You're young, single, handsome, a very eligible bachelor and all that."
Harry turned to her and grabbed both of her hands. "This is why I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression."
Hermione kept her eyes down and focused on their hands, not wanting him to see the tears that were threatening to fall again. "What impression?"
"That I think there's any other witch in the world for me."
Hermione's head snapped up. Was McGonagall right? Was Harry saying what she thought he was? "I don't understand," she said carefully. "If you've already found someone then why are you going on dates with other witches?"
Harry gave her a small, apologetic smile. "It's hard to explain, but these dates mean nothing to me. They all end the same, as quickly as possible and with nothing more than a quick handshake. Then, I turn around and run back to the person I really want to be spending my time with."
Hermione looked back down at their hands. Was this real? Or maybe she'd imagined this entire conversation. She wasn't sure anymore. But if this was fake, she wasn't going to let the vision go without doing one more thing.
She looked up at Harry, who was watching her expectantly, then leaned in, stopping when her lips were just a breath away from his. She pulled her hands out of his grip and placed one on his face and the other on his chest, just over his heart. "Are you talking about me?" she breathed.
Harry laughed and she felt it against her lips. "So brilliant, yet so stupid sometimes," he muttered.
That was the only confirmation she needed. She closed the distance between them, capturing his mouth with hers.
As they kissed, their movements were frantic. They each seemed to be trying to get as close to the other as possible. Harry buried his hands in Hermione's hair while she dug her fingernails in his back, pulling him toward her. She could not seem to get enough of him and she wondered again whether this was real.
What did this mean? Did they like each other? Love each other? She was sure by now that she loved him, but how was it possible that he felt the same way about her? And this kiss, it was so perfect and so...familiar. Had this happened before? Or was this their first kiss?
This was a bit aggressive for a first kiss, in her opinion, but she loved every minute of it. She loved the feeling that Harry wanted her, now, and that he couldn't seem to get enough of her.
Harry had leaned back and it took Hermione a moment to register that they weren't kissing anymore. He pulled a hand up and tapped one of his fingers against her temple. "You need to turn this off."
Hermione shook her head. "I have no idea how to do that."
He smirked, then leaned in and whispered in her ear, "I believe I can help you." He nibbled on her earlobe and added, "Focus on how this feels." Hermione nodded as shivers ran up and down her spine. He nibbled on her earlobe again, which felt divine, then licked a spot from there down to her neck. He grazed his teeth against her skin, then placed a soft kiss on top.
Hermione's mind was completely focused on the feeling on his teeth, then tongue, then lips as she tried to guess what he was going to do next. He moved to the other side of her neck. "Do you like how this feels?"
The only response she managed to get out was a large exhale. Harry was sucking hard on her neck now and she was sure it would leave a mark in the morning, but she was past caring. She grabbed his chin and pulled his face up so it was level with hers.
She was desperate to kiss him again, but managed to refrain and said first, "Harry we've - we've done this before."
"Yeah."
"How many times?"
"More than is probably prudent given...everything, but not as much as I'd like."
Hermione smiled widely. "I like that answer."
"Noted." Harry placed a kiss on one side of her grin, then the other. "I'll use it the next time you ask me this question. Now please, shut up."
Hermione pulled him back into a long, deep kiss, more than happy to oblige his request.
A/N: I know a lot of you are thinking, "Wait - you cut it there?!" Yeah, sorry, but this chapter is already longer than all the others. The good news is that I do intend to continue this scene into the next chapter. Get excited...