Author's Notes: I can only apologize once again for the delay in publishing this chapter. Real life has... not been kind to my efforts to resume author status, I'll leave it at that.
Firstly, to all the people who brought it up; no, our heroes did not eat Mohmoo. They will not be interfering with the canonical departure of the Straw Hats from the East Blue, I can promise you that.
Secondly, timeline wise, our heroes have actually arrived before the canonical start of the One Piece story, mostly to give them the time they need to get used to actually operating a sailing ship. They'll be hitting the Grand Line roughly around the same time that the Straw Hats do.
Finally, I do have the interaction between devil fruits and Jusenkyo curses all figured out, alongside the differences between ki and battle aura. However, I don't yet have a "crew name", any nicknames or even their ship's name set yet - names are one of my weaknesses, alas.
Battlesny: "Tail-headed Orochi" is a personal description I use in my Ranma writings, paying note to the unique, almost Beholder-esque design of the Ryugenzawa Orochi.

Chapter 4: Teething Pains

Ranma bit back the instinctive protest at being saddled with unasked for responsibility...again. Experience had taught him it wouldn't matter anyway.

'Besides, it's not as if I really have a choice, is it? Somebody needs to lead us if we're going to get home, and none of them are up to it...'

Fortunately, his surreptitious glance at his 'crew' went unnoticed. Instead, he squared his shoulders and tried his best to make himself seem more commanding. "Kodachi?"

"Yes, darling?" she shot back, shooting him a bright-eyed smile.

Ranma thought better of trying to push something like, 'call me captain', but he had to bite his tongue to do it. 'Baby steps...' "Are we still on course for that island we started off for?"

Kodachi blinked, her veneer of confidence momentarily slipping. "Um..."

She busied herself with the assorted paraphenalia she had assembled at the ship's steering wheel before nodding to herself, and then she smiled at Ranma again. "Course is set and true, darling!"

"Then we'll stay the course until we arrive," Ranma declared as authoritatively as he could.

"And then what?" Umok asked.

Ranma shrugged haplessly. "We'll see what happens when we get there, I guess."

An uncomfortable silence descended over the assembled group like a shroud. Umok's three eyes stared into Ranma's very soul as the imp sucked on his ever-present cigar until the lit end blazed like a kernel of hellfire.

Finally, just as Ranma fidgeted, Umok exhaled a thick plume of greasy green smoke that twisted into serpentine contrails before the imp's face, audibly sighing as he did so.

"...You don't really have a clue what you're doing, do you?"

Ranma's hackles bristled, and yet again pride saw him rising to the obvious bait. "Hey, it's not as if this was a life's goal of mine!"

"No," Umok agreed, nodding slowly. "But circumstances being what they are... would you like some advice?"

"And what would you know about being a pirate?" Ukyo asked, the disbelief in her voice echoed on the faces of her audience.

Umok chuckled darkly. "I've been a pirate, an adventurer, a tomb raider, a sellsword, a kingslayer, and more careers than I care to recount over longer than I want to bother naming. I've picked up a few tricks along the way."

"Y'know what? I'll take it," Ranma interjected.

"Very well... before I begin, though, I believe we need to complete introductions," the imp declared, puffing on his cigar once more.

"We already know who we all are!" an incredulous Ranma pointed out.

"You might, but I don't. What I want you to do is for each of you to give me your name and try to summarize your abilities and your relationships with each other in turn. This'll help me to help you," Umok patiently explained.

"Sounds hokey to me," Ryoga muttered, something that elicited skeptical mutterings of fellow feeling from the female contingent of the crew.

Ranma glanced over at them, weighing Umok's...request... over in his mind. Finally, he decided to bite the bullet. "Alright, but this might take a while..."

"You see any attacking ships on the horizon, kid? We got nothing but time," Umok countered, gesturing with his cigar at the emptiness surrounding them.

"Okay..."

One exposition dump later...

Umok worked his cigar in his hidden mouth, chewing fiercely on the butt and sending clouds of smoke puffing from unseen lips and nostrils as he did so.

"Okay, lemme see if I got this straight..." he slowly declared, taking his cigar from his mouth.

"Skill-wise, you're a real mixed bag. All of you but her," and here he jabbed the glowing end of his cigar in Nabiki's general direction, as if pointing it out, "Are skilled martial artists, so self-defense is nothing to really worry about."

"Except for these two," and here he gestured at Kodachi and Nabiki again, "All of you have lived off the grid and so have a wide array of self-supportive skills, such as finding and catching food, basic medical treatment, and so forth."

Now he brandished his cigar at Ranma, who instinctively flinched, unable to help the memories of Happosai, his damned pipe, and his thrice-damned Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion. "You, by your own admission, have the skills of a pretty good thief, although morality means you use them as little as possible. You also have a crippling fear of cats, which poses considerable issues when a) Shampoo turns into a cat, and b) the curse is activated by cold water, something that you will both be surrounded by if you pursue a pirate's life."

"And then we have the relationship web! To count, one pair of rivals, three girls after the same guy, all of whom started as that same guy's enemies to various degrees, and finally Nabiki, the odd one of the group."

"Have I missed anything?" Umok asked rhetorically, before shoving the cigar back in his mouth and sucking in a lungful of who-knew-what, and given the way the resultant clouds of acid-yellow smoke audibly hissed and crackled as they poured from an unseen nose and drifted sinisterly around his hat's brim, they probably didn't want to know.

Ranma was the first to break the silence. "That about sums it up... course, it'd be worse if Akane or Mousse were here, then we'd really break down."

"Small mercies they aren't, then," Umok said, before sucking on his cigar so hard it burned to ashes in front of them. Three eyes contorted into a scowl before he spat the stub over the gunwale and fished out a replacement from his pocket.

"So... good news is, you got plenty of useful skills to go around. Only problem is, because you're all multi-talented, it might make it a little tricky to sort out your roles," Umok concluded, lighting this fresh cigar and sticking it in his mouth.

"Do we need roles?" Nabiki asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well, redundancy is always helpful," the smoking imp conceded. "But generally, groups tend to work a little better if specific people can stick to distinct niches. For example, as Kodachi is the only one of you to have any sort of experience actually sailing a ship like this, I'd suggest that she take the role of navigator."

"Well, that certainly makes sense; best person to put behind the wheel is one who knows how to sail," Ranma admitted.

Kodachi visibly brightened at his words and snapped into a salute. "I won't let you down, darling!"

"Moving on, next, I suggest you pick out a cook - a crew needs somebody who can make sure they stay fed. Any opinions, Captain Saotome?" Umok asked.

"Definitely not Nabiki," was the immediate response.

"Hey!" the middle Tendo protested instinctively.

Umok raised two of his eyebrows. "Why not her?"

"Because I'm not going to risk that Kasumi is the family freak when it comes to cooking," Ranma shot back.

"...Akane isn't a very good cook, I'm guessing?" the imp slowly asked.

"Akane makes food that even a pig won't eat... well, not unless he's blinded by love," Ranma smirked.

"Screw you, Ranma!" Ryoga barked.

"It's true and you know it!"Ranma jeered back.

"Hm... might come back to that... what about doctoring?" Umok suggested.

"Oh! Oh! Shampoo volunteer for that role! Great-grandmother teach Shampoo all kinds of useful things; shiatsu, acupressure, massage, herbal remedy, bone-setting, Shampoo very good at nursing!" The Chinese Amazon proudly proclaimed, waving her hand and standing on tiptoe in an effort to catch Ranma's eye.

Umok glanced at Ranma, who rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, Doc Tofu was willing to take her as an assistant, and he's not the kind of guy to get distracted by a pretty face... well, unless it's Kasumi's. Alright, Shampoo, you're our new ship's doctor!"

The Chinese Amazon squealed, clasping her hands and bouncing in joy. Ukyo rolled her eyes, but couldn't entirely hide a smile of her own at her rival's antics. "Well, in that case, I guess I'll volunteer as the ship's cook."

"That's terrific, Ucchan; you'll do great!" Ranma declared, his response making the crossdressing chef blush and hide her face, muttering to herself about Ranma 'embarrassing' her.

"So... that just leaves the two of you..." Umok muttered, staring over Nabiki and Ryoga simultaneously.

"Hmm... Nabiki's good at financial stuff. Is there any way we can make use of that?" Ranma asked the imp, still enjoying the novelty of having somebody who would just give him straight answers for once.

"The quartermaster role seems to be an obvious fit, in that case," the imp replied, tapping off some ashes from his cigar.

"What's the quartermaster do?" Nabiki asked.

"Keeps the records, manages the money, looks over the inventory... the quartermaster's job is basically to keep a running tally of everything the ship and crew have, or don't have, so supplies can be acquired before shortages become a problem. They also do a lot of interacting with shopkeepers to get new supplies," Umok explained.

"Then I'll do it!" Nabiki declared firmly. 'Beats having to slave away doing manual labor... how hard could it possibly be?'

"And that leaves me... so, tell me, what are you going to make my role? Ship's anchor?" Ryoga sarcastically suggested.

"Don't be stupid, P-chan; the second you hit the water, you'll be too small and light to serve as an anchor," Ranma shot back, a mischievous grin on his face that elicited a scowl and a raised, clenched fist from Ryoga.

"Why, you..."

"Actually, Ryoga, I was thinking you would make the perfect first mate," Umok interjected levelly, not bothering to look up from his cigar.

A dumbfounded Ryoga turned an incredulous look at the little imp hovering in the air before him. "Are you nuts? I hate Ranma!"

"Yes, which means you won't try to curry favor with him for yourself over the expense of the rest of the crew. And you have no particular feelings towards the rest of the crew in either direction, so you won't be tempted to abuse your power to get one over them. That you don't like Ranma is, in the face of that, ultimately immaterial, so long as you can be trusted to relay his orders," Umok explained patiently.

Ryoga grimaced, trying to decipher how he felt about that idea. "Well..."

"Of course, if the idea is so unpalatable, I could always switch your position with that of Nabiki," the imp added.

"I'll do it!" Ryoga hastily interjected. Whilst he'd never been directly in Nabiki's clutches, he'd overheard enough of her antics from Akane to realize that placing her in a position of authority was a recipe for disaster.

Nabiki's lip curled into a sneer at the obvious snub, but she kept her opinions to herself.

Umok simply nodded in satisfaction. "Very well, then you have your crew, captain Ranma."

"Great... listen, is there anything else urgent we need to sort out?" Ranma interjected.

The imp blinked his three eyes in a rippling motion, then rubbed his swathed chin. "I... suppose everything directly of need has been taken care of. You certainly have plenty of food and water secured."

"And do you think you could keep this ship on course? You did say that you had experience with this whole piracy thing."

"I... have power enough to handle that task," the confused imp confessed.

"Okay, then my first order as captain is this: Umok, you take the wheel. The rest of us are going to get some sleep."

Umok blinked yet again, and then looked at Ranma - this time, paying attention to what he was seeing. Ranma had been visibly exhausted when the imp had first descended from the crow's nest, but he'd soldiered on through their conversation so well out of sheer stubbornness that Umok had momentarily forgotten just how drained the human was. Glancing over at the other teens, Umok realized they were in no better condition than their now-official leader.

Shifting his attention back to Ranma, the imp nodded. "Command accepted. Go get some rest, all of you."

A smile actually started to form on Ranma's face out of pure instinct, before he hastily scrubbed it off. Turning back to the rest of his...crew... he called out, "C'mon, let's all get some sleep! Stupid navy jerks are gone, and Umok has the wheel!"

With that, he trudged over to the cabin, the rest of the teens falling in behind him with varying degrees of exhausted eagerness. Kodachi was the last to go, but once Umok had floated over to the wheel and stared her in the eyes, she relented and headed off after Ranma.

And then all was quite aboard the Milka; former merchant's ship, and newly claimed pirate vessel...

That evening...

Ranma Saotome had his share of faults, and some he'd even admit to if you caught him in the right moment. But the one he found the most embarrassing was that, despite all his father's best efforts to cure him of it, he was a very heavy sleeper. It was one of the reasons why his father had trained him to be able to dodge and counter-attack in his sleep, since Ranma couldn't spring awake in response to danger like Genma had wanted. But the really embarrassing part of it was that, sometimes, Ranma could be rather slow to catch up with reality when he just woke up.

So it was that his first thought upon finally regaining consciousness was something along the lines of, 'Who stole my bed, and where am I? Did Kodachi kidnap me?'

In fact, it wasn't until after he crept out and found himself in the common room, where the other world-shifted teens were sleeping in their hammocks, that he finally caught up with everything that had happened over the past day-and-change.

'Oh. Right. I got booted to another world and became a pirate. That happened. Let's go see what's up with Umok...'

With ninja-like stealth, he crept through the common room and stepped out onto the deck, where he found himself greeted by a starry sky, several moons arranged in the heavens above. Unconsciously, he let out a slow whistle.

"Wow, I must have been more tired than I thought..."

"After you've been through in what was roughly a day? I'm not surprised," Umok said, currently sprawled out in mid-air near the ship's steering wheel, shuffling what looked like a deck of cards.

"I thought I told you to steer?!" Ranma indignantly barked.

"I am. I don't need to use my hands to do that," the imp responded, an ethereal hand made of glowing green smoke reaching out to grab one of the spokes on the wheel and adjust it, more for show than anything else in Ranma's opinion.

"...Oh. Sorry. We don't see a lot of magic in Nerima... I mean magic that's actually useful to people!" Ranma angrily corrected himself at Umok's incredulous stare.

"Regardless, there's been nothing to report since you took your well-earned rest. I suggest you go back to it; judging by these charts, we aren't scheduled to arrive at this next island until after noon tomorrow, and that's if the wind stays this favorable with us."

"That long?!" Ranma yelped in shock.

"Never sailed before, have you? WIth wind-powered vessels like this, travel times average days to weeks," Umok explained patiently.

"Well, sorry, but we don't use sailing ships for long-distance travel on my world anymore! Yeesh, I'm just glad the rest of them are still asleep, so they probably won't wake up until morning..."

And that was when a sudden sharp gust of wind swept across the deck and slammed the door that Ranma had left open shut with a thunderous bang, making Ranma leap and startling Umok so much he dropped his cards. Boy and imp alike stared at the door,to the ship's interior with dawning realization, then turned to look at each other. Ranma looked as guilty as he'd ever done, whilst Umok's expression was more inscrutable.

"Captain's duty is to explain the situation," the imp told Ranma, whose lips puckered as if he'd just bitten into one of Akane's sour lemon cookies.

"Great..." Ranma muttered, shoulders slumping. Sullenly he slunk forth, gingerly opening the door again and wincing at the five angry glares being thrown his way.

"So... good news and bad news..." He began.

Several hours later...

Unfortunately, having just woken up from around twelve hours of sleep, nobody was inclined to go back to bed. And whilst eating what was technically breakfast but also dinner had filled some time, there was a limit to how much they could eat. And given the superhuman strength of those who were involved, moving the pile of looted junk from the deck to the cargo hold had been over and done with all too quickly. So six bored teens now found themselves sitting in the crew's quarters and trying to endure the boredom as best they could.

"Ugh, I can't take it anymore!"

Some doing a better job of it than others.

"How did we not grab some books or something for entertainment when we were looting that stupid navy ship!?" Nabiki complained.

"Because you said, and I quote, 'Focus on money and the stuff we can sell for money first, vital supplies like food and medicine second'; the idea of grabbing their liquor or their dirty magazines never occurred to you, either," Ryoga levelly pointed out.

Nabiki stomped over to Ryoga, who barely glanced up at her, even as she tapped her foot in impatient irritation.

"Surely you've got to have a deck of cards or something in that bag of yours! What do you do when you make camp for the night?" The eldest teen demanded.

"Pitch my tent, check my supplies, make something to eat, go to bed," Ryoga replied, counting them off on his fingers. "Sorry, but after a long day's hiking off to wherever, by the time night comes, I'm just grateful to rest. You don't get a lot of time or energy to be bored with when you're hoofing it through the wilds."

"Terrific!" Nabiki spat, throwing up her hands. "Not one of us has anything to do! No cards, no books, no games, nothing!"

"Shampoo miss Shampoo's Super Famicom... but no power here to run it anyway," the Chinese Amazon sighed.

"Wait, you have a Super Famicom?!" a startled Ukyo blurted.

"Shampoo is Chinese Amazon, not savage," was the blunt rejoinder.

"I just never would have taken you for the videogame type, myself. I'm more of a Sega girl," Ukyo admitted.

"I invested stock in a new gaming company called Sony and their 'Playstation' machine. I think it has a lot of potential," Kodachi interjected.

"Pfft! As if! Sony used to make games; what would they know about making game machines?" Ukyo scoffed.

"...Well, look at you three; turning into a little sleepover. Next thing you know, you'll be braiding each other's hair or playing the king's game," Nabiki snarked.

That earned her curious stares from all five of her fellow crewmates, with Ranma finally breaking the silence to ask, "The king's game? What's that?"

"Wow, seriously? I knew you grew up under a rock, but I didn't realize it was that deep! The king's game is this drinking game that..."

Nabiki trailed off as her subconscious started screaming at her. She couldn't understand why, at first, but when she considered the implications of game that would let this motley bunch of superpowered maniacs have direct authority over each other... She shivered at the very thought.

'I like fireworks, but I don't want to be caught in a small room with them!'

"Actually, forget it, we don't have anything to drink anyway," Nabiki said, trying desperately to change the subject.

She was actually surprised when the martial artists all groaned as one and slumped in their various spots.

"Shoulda known you were all talk," Ranma muttered, not even trying too hard to hide it.

Nabiki felt her eyebrow twitch; something about being dismissed like that actually stung her pride. "Well, if you're that desperate, you could always try truth or dare..."

"And what's that supposed to be?" Kodachi asked her acidically.

"Geeze, how far under a rock did you all grow up? It's a Western party game, yeah, but Japanese teenagers have been playing it for years!" Nabiki asked, only partially exaggerating her incredulity.

"Shampoo not Japanese," the Amazon pointed out flippantly.

"I was pretending to be a boy in Junior High, remember? I didn't exactly attend a lot of parties," Ukyo explained.

"Though I am the leader of St. Hebereke's martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team, my fellow students found my heritage too intimidating to be at ease with inviting me to partake in their little soires," was Kodachi's answer.

'Translation: you were so crazy, scary and/or bossy that they wanted nothing to do with you outside of school,' was the ungenerous thought shared by her audience.

"Ryoga and I didn't exactly have a conventional upbringing. So come on, Nabiki, spill it! At least it sounds like something to do!" Ranma insisted.

Nabiki glanced at her supposed 'captain', and was about to make a sarcastic quip in reply, before another thought struck her at the last moment. 'Actually... this could be kind of useful, maybe even fun. Who knows what useful titbits I might learn from a game like this? ...Better tweak the rules to minimize the chance of a fight, though...'

Putting on her most winning smile, she launched into her 'personalized' explanation. "Truth or dare's pretty simple. We sit in a circle and we pick one of us to go first; whoever gets picked then has to pick another member of the circle and ask them 'truth, or dare?' If they say 'truth', they have to truthfully answer a question that the first person asked them. If they pick 'dare', then they have to complete some challenge that the first person sets, whatever it may be. Once they've done that, control passes to them and they have to pick somebody and ask them 'truth or dare' - and it can't be the person who asked them just before! Makes sure that everybody gets a turn asking or being asked."

Silence fell over the crew's quarters, before Ryoga scoffed and sarcastically observed, "Wow, sounds like some game..."

"Don't knock it until you've tried it. Besides, we don't have anything else to do at the moment, now do we?" Nabiki rebutted him.

"I must confess, it does seem a little... simplistic," Kodachi hesitantly chimed in.

"Oh, really? I would have thought you girls would be jumping at the chance to play this game," Nabiki 'innocently' remarked.

"How so?" Shampoo asked.

"Well, how often do you get to talk to Ranma? More importantly, how often does Ranma tell you anything about himself? This is your golden opportunity to get to know him better - and to reveal some more about yourselves to him in the process," Nabiki explained, putting on her best 'sweet-talk the sucker' tone.

Ranma felt beads of cold sweat prickle on his brow as three sets of eyes suddenly snapped to him, three matching thoughtful, hungry, gazes boring into his soul.

"You have my attention..." Kodachi purred.

"Shampoo's too!"

"Count me in!"

Ryoga watched his arch-rival's fear and smiled wickedly. "Y'know what? I changed my mind; this sounds like it might be fun after all..."

Ranma bristled, but as always, his stubborn pride forbade him from looking like he was weak or afraid, and so he instead defiantly stared at Nabiki and declared, "I'm game if you are."

"Alright then! Let's just all get a bit closer together, this is meant to be done in intimate settings, after all..."

Once the sextet had settled into a loose circle in roughly the center of the crew's quarters, Nabiki spoke up again, grinning and deliberately playing up her enjoyment to better goad the others into going along with things. "Since you're all new to this, I'll start us off... Ranma! Truth, or dare?"

Ranma eyed her suspiciously, remembering all too many schemes and manipulations from the past. 'Not stupid enough to give her an opening into my past...' "I pick dare."

'I forget sometimes that you're smarter than you let on, Saotome. Never mind, this works for me just fine...' "Okay, I dare you to pull off a backflip into a handstand," Nabiki replied cheerfully.

Ranma blinked at her, then scoffed. "Pft! That's it?"

Without even flexing his legs, he rolled backwards into a headstand, then thrust his palms into the floor and launched himself into the air. He twisted through a triple backflip, then landed in a perfect one-handed handstand, before craning his neck to throw a smirk at Nabiki. "Ta-dah!"

Nabiki clapped politely. "Nicely done! And now it's your turn to ask somebody, so get back into the circle."

Ranma's arm flexed and he propelled himself back into the air, this time somersaulting once back to where he started, landing neatly and then sitting back down without the slightest wasted motion. Scratching his chin, he glanced over the rest of the teens.

'Can't pick Nabiki... so who do I..?' He shivered at the naked excitement in the eyes of Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo. 'Yeesh, I feel like a piece of meat. Ah well, nothing I can do...'

"Ucchan! Truth or dare?" Ranma asked, pointing to his crossdressing fiancée.

"Truth, Ranma honey," she confidently shot back, grinning.

"Uh, alright... um... Oh! How did you track me 'n' pops down at Nerima?" Ranma asked, after wracking his brain for a few precious moments.

"Well, I hate to admit it, but it was basically dumb luck. I just picked a prefecture at random and, well, there you were! You know, it's funny... I actually considered going to Nerima a lot earlier than I did, but I flipped a coin and went to Azabu-Juuban and Tomobiki first instead," Ukyo confessed with a laugh.

"Really? ...Wow. Then we might have never met up again at all," Ranma observed in a slightly shocked tone of voice. Obviously, that thought had never occurred to him before.

'On the other hand, she might have shown up a lot earlier than she did. In which case, little sister might have had a real fight on her hands to keep you, Ranma...' Nabiki mused to herself.

Ukyo herself looked visibly discomforted by the revelation, but literally shook it off and tried to rally her thoughts. "Ah... oh! Shampoo! Truth or dare?"

"Shampoo tell truth," the Chinese Amazon replied confidently.

"Okay... do you really expect Ranma honey to be happy living as your housekeeper if he somehow picks you?" the crossdressing chef asked, eager to finally voice something that had been festering for almost as long as she'd known her Chinese rival.

Shampoo scowled savagely. "What stupid thing is this? Housekeeper? Ranma? You hit head somewhere recently?"

"Just answer the question!" Ukyo spat back.

"Shampoo no answer question, because is stupid not-right question! 'Housekeeper Ranma', indeed! When airen marry Shampoo, Ranma have two duties - continue training and become greater martial artist, and give Shampoo fat happy babies," the Chinese Amazon retorted, patting her stomach for emphasis on the last point.

"Why would you expect Ranma to continue training after he marries you?!" the incredulous Ukyo retorted.

"What is point of marrying strong martial artist and then make him no practice martial arts no more? Shampoo want to marry Ranma because he strong martial artist! If Shampoo just want bedwarming slave, would marry Mousse instead," Shampoo countered, sticking out her tongue and feigning throwing up at the mere thought of wedding her myopic stalker.

"I... I thought..." A blushing Ukyo tried to justify her logic, only to be cut off by Shampoo.

"You no think at all. Ask stupid question, which Shampoo answer! Now is Shampoo's turn! Airen, truth or dare?"

Ranma froze, feeling his spine tingle in anticipation. 'This is it, the moment of truth... oh, kami, what do I say? What's the least likely to go wrong...?' He gnawed his lip, and then finally responded with, "Um... truth."

"Okay then... so many things Shampoo want to know, not know where to start... Ah! Airen, do you think Shampoo is cute?"

Beads of nervous sweat prickled Ranma's brow, the blood draining from his face at the anticipatory look on Shampoo's face. 'Think fast, or these girls are gonna rip you apart...' He forced out a nervous laugh and replied, "All of you girls are cute! I'd have to be an idiot not to see that!"

It was wishy-washy at best, a vague and sweeping generalization that technically answered the question whilst evading the very spirit of it. But it seemed to work. Though disappointment flickered in Shampoo's eyes, she still smiled at the realization that Ranma acknowledged her looks, and that same knowledge allowed Ukyo and Kodachi to smile in turn, rather than focus in irritation on the fact that one of their romantic rivals had been complimented.

Still, Ranma wasn't going to give them a moment to think about what he'd said too hard, instead pivoting to face Ryoga, thrusting out a finger and declaring, "Ryoga! Truth or dare,?"

Ryoga's lip curled into a sneer. "You think I'm stupid, Saotome? I'll pick truth."

"Okay then... um... ah... oh! Have you ever considered what your curse form'd look like if you'd fallen into the Spring of Drowned Girl, not the Spring of Drowned Pig?" Ranma asked, snapping his fingers as the thought came to him.

He flinched under the collective weight of the incredulous stares being thrown his way. Even Nabiki looked caught off-guard. "Oh, come on! Your curse was an accident, Ryoga; you fell off the cliff-"

"You mean you knocked me off!"

"Whatever! Point is, you could have fallen into the same spring I did as easily as you did the one you actually got! You once told me you'd rather have my curse than your own, so tell me; what do you think you'd look like with it?"

Ryoga looked at Ranma with the expression of a stunned mullet. Reluctantly, he visibly thought it over, and then he scowled thunderously. "Damn you, Ranma! I never thought about that before, and now I can't stop thinking about it!"

"Alright, alright, no need to get your undies in a knot, bacon-breath. I'll take that as an answer. So it's your turn now."

Ryoga's scowl deepens, if anything. "You're lucky I can't pick you next... uh... alright, Nabiki! Truth or dare?"

Palpably amused, Nabiki coolly responded with, "Dare."

Ryoga looked poleaxed; obviously, that hadn't been the answer he'd expected her to pick. He rubbed his bottom lip and began muttering to himself, clearly trying to come up with something to actually challenge Nabiki to do. Suddenly, his eyes brightened and he snapped his fingers triumphantly.

"I dare you to tell us something embarrassing about Ranma!" Ryoga barked, thrusting a finger at Nabiki for emphasis.

"Hey!" Ranma yelped, hands curling into fists.

"Well... a little unorthodox, but okay... how about the fact Ranma once went on a deliberate date with Tatewaki Kuno? Got all dressed up fancy for it and everything," Nabiki declared sweetly, grinning mischievously as she did so.

Ranma glared at her, aura flickering to life and the sheer murder in his eyes actually making Nabiki reconsider her course for a moment... before the outraged dual-voiced shriek of "WHAT?!" burst his defiance like a bubble and set him cringing away from his three would-be brides.

"Is true?!" Shampoo spluttered.

"Ranchan, how could you?" Ukyo sobbed.

"Now, now, I'm sure Ranma darling has a perfectly reasonable explanation for this," Kodachi soothed them, an icy glint in her eye promising Ranma that this had better be the case.

"It was just a scam! Kuno had gotten his hands on this magical sword that granted wishes, so I tried to trick him into using one to cure me!" Ranma quickly shouted, holding his hands up in an instinctive warding gesture.

And just like that, the mood lifted as the girls' calmed down seemingly in an instant.

"Oh, is that all? Well, that sucks, Ranchan," Ukyo declared, a sentiment that Shampoo and Kodachi echoed.

'Sheesh, mood swing much?' Nabiki mused to herself, before snapping back to reality. "Anyway, that makes it my turn now, so..."

She glanced at Ranma, still giving her the stink-eye, and weighed up the pros and cons of pressing him further. Ultimately, she decided to give him a brief reprieve and moved on to the next random target. "Ukyo! Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Ukyo replied cheerfully.

"Okay... what's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you when you were pretending to be a boy?" Nabiki asked.

Ukyo's eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed. "I... do you really wanna know that?"

"Yes, yes I do," Nabiki assured her. 'Especially since you're reacting like that! Must be something juicy...'

Ukyo looked like she wanted to crawl away and hide, pulling her long tail of hair around to mostly hide her face as she ran her fingers through the brown locks, refusing to look at any of them. "Okay... well, um...in the last school I attended before Furinkan High... I got roped into a burping contest."

Silence fell across the room once more, five teens staring incredulously at the blushing bifauxnen. Evidently desperate to try and explain, Ukyo continued, "There was this jerk called Sanade who sort of decided I was his rival, and we got into this contest to prove which of us was the manliest man along some of the other tough guys at school, and, well, they were basically delinquents, so... yeah. We did some stupid stuff, and a burping contest was one of them."

"Oh... I'm sorry you had to go through that, Ucchan," Ranma interjected.

At that, Ukyo glanced up at him and smiled weakly. "Thanks, Ranchan..."

"Shampoo not understand what is such big deal. So you lose silly kids contest? No is serious," the Chinese Amazon scoffed, waving her hand.

At that, Ukyo stiffened a little, the old rivalry fire managing to burn through the embarrassment. Looking over at Shampoo with one eyebrow raised, she icily demanded, "Who said anything about me losing?"

Then Ukyo realized Ranma was staring at her again, and she blushed and hid her face once more. "So, um, anyway! Ranchan, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Ranma replied immediately. 'After she put herself out like that, I'd feel like a real jerk not doing the same...'

"Oh-okay then.. Earlier, you said we were all cute, Ranchan. Well... w-what do you think are our best features?"

'...Me an' my big mouth...' Ranma lamented in the privacy of his head. With three pairs of feminine eyes hungrily eying him in anticipation, and both Ryoga and Nabiki watching with palpable amusement, it was obvious there'd be no mercy coming from any quarter any time soon.

Ranma inhaled slowly, and then sighed in resignation. "Okay... look, girls, you gotta understand, I'm a guy, okay? I try not to act like those jerks at school, but I still notice things!"

"Ranma darling, I doubt any of us have any problems with you 'noticing' our looks," Kodachi chuckled softly.

"Is true! Shampoo glad to know Ranma's little horse work!" giggled the Chinese Amazon.

"Shampoo!" blurted an appalled Ukyo, cheeks burning red.

"What? Ukyo be thinking it too!"

"Th-that's besides the point! Anyway, you were saying, Ranma?"

"Well..." Ranma hesitated, but finally shrugged his shoulders. 'Screw it; if I gotta die, then I'll die as I lived!'

"Shampoo's got the biggest rack of all of you, so that definitely counts. I mean, she's gorgeous in general, but all of you are hot-looking, so it don't feel right to single her out for that. I kinda like her muscles, too," Ranma confessed, blushing as he did so.

"Ukyo's uniforms cover up her bust, which is a shame because she's got a pretty nice bust too-"

"Pft! As if girl-who-dresses-as-boy be anything other than total flatty!" Shampoo scoffed.

"I'll have you know I have plenty up top! And Ranchan would know, since he got a good handful of them when he found out I was a girl!" Ukyo barked.

Ranma promptly interjected with his continued appraisal, "But those same uniforms show off that she's got a really cute butt, so I guess it balances out."

"Eep!" went Ukyo, who tried to cover her buttocks with her hands in sheer instinct, something that actually made Shampoo laugh.

"Kodachi... Well, she's kind of cute all around, especially in that leotard of hers. If I had to pick her best feature...? Probably her legs?."

The younger Kuno sibling laughed triumphantly, shifting onto her hip to better flaunt those self-same legs to all and sundry.

Ranma could have stopped there, and he almost did, but glancing over at the money-grubber's grin on Nabiki made his blood boil and caused him to make a snap decision. "And as for Nabiki? Well, she's also got nice legs and a really nice butt. She likes to wear these jeans that've been cut down to practically the size of glorified panties at home, so I get a real good look at both of them."

If this had been a movie, this would have been where they'd insert the record needle scratch sound clip as three shocked girls stared at Nabiki, who directed an equally shocked expression at Ranma.

'Are you trying to get me killed?!' Nabiki wanted to scream, but her tongue wouldn't work.

"And what exactly does Nabiki Tendo have to do with any of this?!" Kodachi snapped.

"Well, Ukyo asked me the best features of all of you girls here, and Nabiki's certainly a girl who is here, ain't she?" Ranma rebutted.

Kodachi opened her mouth, clearly preparing a counter-argument, then stopped and looked puzzled. "I... must concede that is a valid point."

And all might have settled down, if Ranma hadn't chosen to stir the pot again by adding, "And we were engaged for a while, so she kind of counts anyway."

'You bastard!' Nabiki screamed in her head, whimpering as battle auras burst into life around the three girls.

"When did that happen?!" Ukyo screeched.

"Sorry, Ucchan, I answered your question already. It's my turn now... Ryoga! Truth or dare?" Ranma cheerfully asked, turning his attention pointedly towards his rival.

"Uh... truth," was the hesitant response, Ryoga's attention largely diverted to the fuming trio of girls death-glaring the fourth member of their sex present.

"Okay... how'd you actually find me in Nerima? You literally showed up looking for Furinkan High, but I didn't know I was going until the day after I arrived in Nerima myself!"

"Wha? Oh, that! I ran into this oracle when I was trying to find you after Jusenkyo. I beat up this rabbit demon that kept raiding her garden, and she told me where to find you," Ryoga explained.

"...Huh. I feel I should be surprised by that, but somehow I'm not," Ranma confessed.

"Yeah... anyway! Um... Shampoo! Truth or dare?" The Eternally Lost Boy asked, picking one of the girls on a whim.

"Truth," the Chinese Amazon growled, still death-staring at Nabiki.

"Why do you refuse to marry Mousse, anyway? I mean, you knew the guy long before Ranma showed up..."

That actually got Shampoo's attention, and she shifted her focus from Nabiki to Ryoga. "Since when you care about Mousse?"

"I don't. I just wondered why you won't give him a chance," was Ryoga's blunt response.

"Shampoo history with Mousse is... long story."

"Is it really so important that he lost to you in a fight when you were both three years old?" Ranma interjected.

"It not important at all. Mousse always been free to try again whenever he want. But he refuse to fight Shampoo, dishonor Shampoo by saying he no can fight Shampoo because he 'love Shampoo'' too-too much. So he grovel and fawn, hope Shampoo chose him because he pamper Shampoo," the Chinese Amazon scowled.

"Is that really so bad?" Ukyo asked.

"Shampoo not say it not nice to be doted upon, but Mousse go too far. He have no pride, no shame - he make self look like too-too stupid idiot, just because he hope for Shampoo pity. He bungler who screw things up because of stupid pride. Worst of all, Mousse dishonorable! Bad enough he no respect Shampoo's feelings, no respect Shampoo's pride as warrior, but he do things he know is not allowed by tribal law, because he believe his feelings for Shampoo is more important."

"Such as?" Nabiki asked, her intrigue at this fascinating new info drowning her worries for the moment.

"He come to Japan to try and scare off Ranma, that not enough?" was the sarcastic quip she got in response. "Mousse only not breaking tribal law by picking fights with Ranma all time by wriggling through loopholes like worm. He constantly break word for own goals, like when he promise to leave Japan if lose to Ranma this time, but he stay anyway, hoping to see Shampoo feel sorry for him!"

Shampoo shook her head angrily. "Mousse was friend when we small together. But Shampoo not love him. And because Mousse refuse to take no for answer, because Mousse show he selfish and dishonorable, because Mousse spend years being bully to other men and breaking laws and crawling like worm, Shampoo never can love him now - he not type of man Shampoo want to marry. Not like Ranma..."

Ranma tried not to squirm at the love-smitten smile that Shampoo sent his way.

The Chinese Amazon's happy expression melted away into a fierce scowl as she turned to face Nabiki. "Truth or dare!"

"Truth! Look, Ranma and I were only engaged for a couple of days, and it was all a scheme to get back at Akane! She and I were fighting, Ranma got involved, and she decided to throw a tantrum and call the engagement off. I wanted to burst her little bubble of being the princess of the household, so I told her I'd take Ranma in her place. I faked being all lovey-dovey in an effort to make her jealous - and, yes, to try and squeeze a little money out of her. In the end, I couldn't get her to break down and admit she actually was jealous and she wanted Ranma, so I got bored and I gave him back to her! We're just housemates, there's nothing going on between us, I swear!"

Nabiki broke down panting after her desperate rush of words. Still, they seemed to have paid off, because none of the other girls were staring holes in her now. Instead, they just looked unimpressed, but considering where they had started, that was a step up.

Once Nabiki had caught her breath, she straightened up and composed herself. "Anyway, that means it's my turn, and I pick...Ranma! Truth or dare?"

"Dare," was his immediate response. 'I'm not stupid enough to let you ask another truth yet...'

"I dare you to go topless for the rest of the game," Nabiki replied smugly.

Ranma gulped at the sudden hungry look from his three would-be lovers. '...Why can't I ever beat her?' "...Fine."

Reluctantly, Ranma reached for his shirt's ties and began unfastening them, before finally slipping the garment free and letting it fall to the floor.

"Undershirt too," Nabiki reminded him, her voice as sweet as poisoned honey.

Ranma swallowed, but complied, wincing as three very interested gazes locked onto his now-naked torso. He fought back the urge to cover himself up like a girl and instead asked, "Kodachi, truth or dare?"

"Truth, Ranma darling," she replied sweetly.

'Yeesh, none of them want me to dare them. Don't they trust me?' "Okay... so, I know your father went away for a long time when you were young, so your brother kind of takes his place at school functions and the like, but... what about your mom?"

The younger Kuno actually winced at that particular question. "I... the truth is that I'm not sure. I don't remember anything about her. She's been gone for a long, long time. I... I don't know if she's alive or dead. But... I think she walked out on us. Out on me..."

The gymnast had curled herself into a ball as she confessed that, looking so pitiful that the entire group collectively winced.

"Shampoo know what you feeling... Shampoo's mother murdered by bandits when Shampoo was very little. Shampoo's father go off to fight them and... he not really come back. Shampoo raised by great-grandmother ever since," the Chinese Amazon volunteered.

"My mother died when I was small... she got sick," Ukyo added, her own sorrow mingling with the sympathy in her words.

"...You mean none of us have mothers apart from Ranma?" an incredulous Nabiki observed.

"I'll have you know that my mother is alive and well! ...I just never get to see her because I'm lost all the time. And she gets lost all the time too. And so does my dad," Ryoga interjected, his initial swagger losing its steam as he finished his confession.

"I... thank you, girls," Kodachi softly said, and she sounded sincere about it, too.

'Never did I think I would see the days I would find common grounds with my foes,' Kodachi mused to herself.

'How sad that we share so tragic a history in common,' Shampoo thought to herself.

'I never thought about where their moms were...' Ukyo admitted to herself.

'Yeesh, this is getting heavy... better put a pin in this, fast,' Nabiki decided. "So, anyway, Kodachi, it's your turn to ask somebody."

"What? Oh, oh, yes, thank you, Nabiki Tendo... in fact... Nabiki, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Nabiki replied.

"Why is it that your younger sister is engaged to my darling Ranma, and not you?"

"Our daddies decided it," Nabiki replied. "So, Shampoo-"

"Wait a minute, that hardly constitutes an answer!" Kodachi protested.

"Yeah, we spilled our guts answering the questions put to us" Ukyo added, with Shampoo nodding along.

"Sorry, but you asked the question, and I answered it, so that makes it my turn," Nabiki declared firmly.

She pointedly turned back to Shampoo. "As I was saying; Shampoo, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Shampoo grumpily replied.

"Okay... does the fact Ranma turns into a girl bother you?" Nabiki asked.

"No. Regardless of body, airen is airen. Shampoo prefer boy-type Ranma, yes, but Ranma prefer to be boy-type Ranma, so that fine. Girl-type Ranma is fine too, if Ranma want to play that way," the Chinese Amazon immediately shot back.

Then she turned to Ranma... yet again. "Airen, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Ranma replied.

"You know what happen to our mothers, but we not know what happen to yours. Tell us about your mother!"

At that, Ranma's face went blank. His gaze fell away, locked onto something only he could see, and a palpable chill radiated from his body, a cold, clammy sensation that made the other teens shiver.

"My mother? My mom... my mom is..."

"Yes? What?" Ukyo pushed.

"Nabiki said your mother was alive! What could ever be the matter, Ranma darling?"

"My mom's... my mom's nuts, okay?!" Ranma roared, head snapping up and throwing hateful glares at the assembled teens, who all recoiled at his sudden outburst.

Before any of them could say anything, he bulled on. "My old man wanted me to be the best, so he decided he had to take me from home when I was just a baby. And to make mom agree, he signed a suicide contract with her, promising we'd commit seppuku if she decided I wasn't man enough!"

"She-she surely doesn't intend to take it seriously!" Ukyo protested.

"She's dead serious! She showed up at the Tendo Dojo not that long ago - she carries the damn sword everywhere, and she pulls it out at the slightest provocation! And because of this stupid curse, I have to hide from her, because pops is convinced that if she finds out, she'll kill us both! And he'd know better than me, because I don't remember anything about her from before he took me!"

Silence fell across the crew's quarters, save for the angry panting as Ranma gasped for breath, snarling like an animal and daring them to speak, glaring at each in turn.

So, of course, Ryoga had to put his foot in his mouth, shaking his head and saying, "Geeze, Ranma, that's messed up..."

"Screw you, bacon breath! In fact, screw you all, and screw this stupid game!" Ranma spat, leaping to his feet and storming off to the captain's quarters and vanishing inside, slamming the door with an echoing crash.

"Airen!"

"Ranchan!"

"Ranma-darling!"

"Stop it, all of you!" Nabiki barked as her three counterparts all began to scramble to their feet.

"What you talking, stupid?!" spat Shampoo.

"Ranchan needs us!" Ukyo protested.

"No, he doesn't! He's reached his limit for opening up today! Just give him some space and some time to cool off... admitting that wasn't easy for him," Nabiki explained.

"But, Ranma," whined the other three girls, all casting pleading looks towards the captain's cabin.

"Ranma is in no mood to open up to you! Just... let him lick his wounds, okay? He'll come out when he's ready," Nabiki asserted confidently.

None of the other girls sounded happy to hear that, but they reluctantly did as Nabiki said and dispersed, drifting back to their various nooks and crannies as Ryoga did the same.

In the security of his quarters, Ranma spat in disgust. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

Even he wasn't sure who he was referring to.

Some time after dawn...

After the less-than-satisfactory method in which their little game had ended, the six teens fell into a boredom-induced semi-stupor, all but oblivious to the passage of time. Which meant they were caught quite off-guard when a sudden ear-piercing hellish shriek ripped through the air, echoing around the Milka's interior like a damned soul.

The doors to the crew's quarters practically flew open as five teenage martial artists in full fight-or-flight mode poured onto the deck. "What happened?!"

"Ah, there you are. Good reaction time, though could be better," Umok replied from his position near the wheel.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Kodachi snarled, drawing upon all her regal rage, with the other teens echoing her sentiment behind her.

"The winds were really favorable last night. We'll be arriving at our destination in... a couple of hours, tops," the imp replied levelly.

"And that justifies scaring the living daylights outta us?" Ukyo demanded.

"Firstly, I simply thought you'd like to get a coherent plan together for what you're going to do when you get there. Have you given any consideration to what you intend to buy?" Umok calmly pointed out.

"I... do we even need anything? I thought we were well-off for food and medical stuff?" Ranma confessed.

"Well, we need some books or some games or... something to do when we're just waiting to get to the next island! Even just some exercise equipment would be a nice option," Nabiki pointed out.

"And clothes! I just realized, we literally don't have anything of ours but the clothes on our backs!" Ukyo interjected.

Five pairs of eyes turned to her in a mutual expression of confusion, only to widen as the realization sank in. Given how hectic everything had been since they arrived in this world, between multiple fights and a nocturnal raid, they'd forgotten that they were still wearing the same clothes they'd had on when they arrived. Which were, to put it mildly, in rather unsanitary conditions. Salt and dried sweat were universal, whilst Ryoga, Ukyo and Shampoo were all speckled with crusted blood and flecks of viscera. Now that they were paying attention, the smell finally caught up with them, and six noses wrinkled in equal distaste.

"Which brings me to my second point; I thought you might like to clean up as best you can, given the limited options available," the imp casually commented.

"Limited options?" Ranma asked warily.

"Does this look like one of your fancy ships? There's no bathhouse or shower or laundry on this tub! You want to get clean, you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way; haul buckets of water out of the sea and scrub down with those," Umok clarified.

Ranma went as pale as if somebody had wrung the blood out of his body like a well-used dishrag, eyes wide in horror. "You've got to be joking!"

Five teens and one imp winced at Ranma's panic-stricken shriek, with Umok digging gracelessly in one earhole with a clawed finger. "What's got your boxers in a bunch?"

"You can't be serious! We can't bathe like that! We'll all be naked!" Ranma protested at a marginally lower volume

"You're in the middle of the open ocean - nobody's going to peek!" an incredulous Umok pointed out.

"You don't understand - there are girls on this ship! Girls who'll be naked if they bathe!" Ranma snapped, waving his hands around in emphasis.

"That is the general requirement for bathing," was the imp's flat response.

"They'll skin me alive!" Ranma screamed at the top of his lungs.

As the last echoes of that outburst were swallowed by the clear blue seas, silence fell upon the deck... only to be shattered as Kodachi threw back her head in her iconic hysterical shriek of laughter.

"Ahhh-hahahahahaha! Ranma, darling, you are such a kidder! Wherever did you come up with such a funny concept?" Kodachi asked, trailing off into giggles as she did...Giggles that promptly went flat as she caught sight of Ranma's expression.

"...You're serious." She flatly observed.

Ranma gave just the tiniest of nods... then cringed away as Kodachi suddenly lit up, her battle aura flaring with unprecedented strength, sending waves of heat washing over those present.

"Why would you think that?!" She screeched, righteous indignation literally burning off of her skin.

"Because every time I end up being around Akane when she's undressed, I get hit!" Ranma protested, scuttling back from the girl he had always considered the least formidable of his would-be girlfriends.

And that was evidently the wrong thing to say, because now there were three feminine battle auras scorching the deck. The collective wrath was enough that even Ryoga's less than stellar survival instincts had made him clam up and retreat to be well out of range of all parties concerned, with Nabiki doing the same.

Without thinking, Ranma reverted to something his father had taught him not so long ago and assumed the Crouch of the Wild Tiger. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

And just like that, three battle auras went out like candles in the wind. Ranma kept his face planted to the deck, unwilling to risk a three-fold beating - it was bad enough just being caught in the crossfire when the three of them decided to brawl! - and fought to hide the wince as a hand came down on his shoulder.

"Ranchan... please, don't do that. We're not going to hurt you, I promise..."

"Ukyo right! Shampoo love you, airen, Shampoo never want to hurt you!"

"I too only wish for your happiness, Ranma darling!"

Hesitantly, Ranma looked up into Ukyo's face, the crossdressing teen smiling, but also blushing.

"Really, Ranma, it's not a big deal. I mean, we should at least try to scrub up before we hit the island; who's going to want to deal with us if we look and smell like a bunch of dirty slobs? We won't get mad for you bathing with us - besides, you turn into a girl anyway! What do we have that you haven't seen any time you took a bath? I'm sorry Akane was such a little witch, but we're not her!" Ukyo insisted.

"That very right! Besides, we is married, airen; Ranma have just as much right to see naked Shampoo as Shampoo have right to see naked Ranma!" Shampoo declared passionately.

"Furthermore, since we will be using cold water, won't we all be women as a result? I correct myself - four women, a cat and a pig," Kodachi added.

"Not to mention I'm quite certain that the girls would trust you to stay on the other side of the ship and not look at them, Captain honorable martial artist," Umok sarcastically interjected. "You know, the same thing they'll be expecting of Ryoga?"

"...Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?!" Ranma hissed at the imp.

"What, and spoil this lovely serving of drama? Besides, you weren't in any mood to listen to me, anyway... in large part because you wouldn't trust them to trust you," Umok observed.

Ranma let out a wordless noise, more an audible choke than anything. Glancing over at the girls, he winced at the downcast looks on their faces at the idea that he wouldn't trust them.

"Now, as tasty a diversion as this was, I suggest you all get your acts together. Ukyo was quite right; it mightn't be much in the way of cleaning, but it'll make a better impression that you at least made the effort. So I suggest you scrounge up some soap, start boiling kettles for the Jusenkyo cursed to resume their native forms, and then start hauling buckets. Maybe there's a tub you can fill to help you rinse out the worst of your clothes."

"What, are we supposed to just sit around naked until our clothes dry?!" Ryoga incredulously blurted, having emerged from his hiding spot by this point.

"You don't have a lot of choice, so I suggest you get it over and done with so your clothes will be dry by the time we reach land," Umok flatly declared.

Shortly thereafter...

Kodachi looked into the sloshing bucket, hefting it in her arms and feeling the weight of the seawater gathered within. The gentle breeze brushed against her naked skin and she shivered, as much in anticipation as from the coolness. Steeling herself, she lifted it up and tipped it all over herself, biting her lip until it bled as the shockingly cold water drenched her skin. Other than that, she gave no sign of reacting to the temperature.

Others, however, did not face their fates with such dignity...

"That's cold!" squealed Nabiki, shaking and spluttering, trying to get the water off of her skin in protest.

"Yes, we know," Ukyo drawled, busily lathering herself up with the coarse, harsh-smelling soap that they'd found in the crew's quarters. The smell of it reminded her of the stuff they put in the boy's toilets in the schools she'd gone to before Furinkan High, and it made her wrinkle her nose in disgust. Still, it definitely did feel better to get something to scrub off the worst of the grime.

Nabiki glared sullenly at Ukyo, looking as if she was about to grab the bucket and douse the crossdressing chef with it, but she refrained from doing so.

Shampoo, meanwhile, was now allowing Kodachi to tend to her fur-coat, which the Kuno girl was doing with surprising gentleness. Glancing over at her primary rival, the Chinese Amazon turned cat frowned to herself. 'Curse it all, Ranma was right; she does have a nicer bosom than her usual apparel suggests. Mine is still superior, of course.'

Off to the side, Ranma, currently naked, dripping wet and resoundingly female, was busily scrubbing their collective clothing in a large wooden tub that, to the best of his knowledge, had been made for this purpose. Ryoga, who had found that one advantage of the Eiton'niichuan was that it actually took very little effort to be scrubbed clean, was simply sitting on the deck and watching Ranma work.

"Curse you, Ranma, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this! On the one hand, I hate listening to you backstabbing Akane! On the other hand, if you decide to hook up with one of your harem, then that means Akane is mine! I can't decide if watching you cringe in fear of getting beaten up by a bunch of girls is hilarious or pathetic! And, to top it all off, I resent that you have so many girls willing to flash you, whilst I can't even get one girl who wants to date me, but at the same time, I'm glad I'm not being chased by crazy women like you!"

"Yeah, yeah, oink-oink-oink-grunt-grunt-squeal to you too, piggy," Ranma jeered, wringing out his boxers as tightly as he could.

The insulted Ryoga stuck out his tongue at Ranma, then trotted off to the crew's quarters, where the designated Jusenkyo kettle was boiling on his personal camping burner.

With such basic means of bathing, the impromptu crew were soon finished with their makeshift ablutions. Their clothes were hanging out to dry, having been weighed down with whatever was available to keep them from blowing away in the wind, leaving the teenagers simply stuck waiting.

The cat truly known as Shampoo sat on her haunches in front of the door to the crew's quarters, meowing impatiently. Ukyo, bucket of water in hand, knocked, and the door slid open just enough that Ryoga could stick his hand out and trade the boiled kettle for Ukyo's bucket. Ukyo poured the kettle's contents over Shampoo, and then passed it back through the door, which Ryoga firmly shut.

Shampoo rose from her crouch and stretched in what Ukyo couldn't help but privately consider a very feline fashion. "Mmm, that much better..."

"I can only imagine... but, seriously, you don't seem even the slightest bothered by this," Ukyo observed.

"Remind Shampoo of swimming in rivers when summer comes to Nyuchiezu. Girls often sit in sun and soak up warmth afterwards... is homey," Shampoo explained.

Then, with a mischievous smirk, she added, "Besides, what Shampoo have to be bothered by? You no have nothing Shampoo not have, and more time Shampoo show off body to airen, is better. Shampoo too-too glad to hear he actually notice Shampoo!"

"Hey, he noticed all of us, China Girl!" Ukyo scowled.

"Yes, but he notice Shampoo little more," the Chinese Amazon confidently rebutted, sticking out her chest for emphasis and smirking as Ukyo's eyes visibly drifted towards Shampoo's cleavage and jealousy flashed on her face before she schooled herself to appear indifferent.

Ukyo turned and walked away, with Shampoo hot on her heels, and soon they had rejoined the other three (well, two and a half) women of their crew. Kodachi and Nabiki had both settled into the sunniest spot they could, hunkered into little balls to obviously try and warm up, whilst Ranma was standing over to the side, doing his -currently her- best to avoid looking at them.

"Shampoo back to normal, airen. Ryoga is boiling fresh kettle for you, should be ready when clothes are dry," the Chinese Amazon reported, before she casually sprawled down on the deck in the sun.

"That's good..." Was the non-committal answer she received, with Ranma refusing to budge from her position looking out over the gunwale.

An awkward silence fell, as Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi all waited foro Ranma to do something - anything! - but the boy-turned-girl simply stared sullenly out to sea. Finally, Nabiki sighed and looked up from where she was hugging herself.

"Ranma... we're sorry."

Her words elicited noises of surprise from her feminine companions, and actually made Ranma twist around to look at her. Ranma promptly blushed red and twisted back the other way so fast it made Nabiki's own neck hurt to watch, but still, it was a reaction.

"Look, if you need your space, go ahead and take it. We were just going to sit here and swap girl talk until our clothes dried anyway," Nabiki assured Ranma.

"We were?" a confused Ukyo asked, only to grunt and scowl as Kodachi elbowed her in the ribs.

"I... uh..." Ranma tried to speak, but clearly couldn't find a response.

"We all know that last night was hard on you. So... just take the time you need to clear your head, okay? We don't mind. Besides, we don't need you sinking this ship with a Shishi Hokodan," Nabiki added.

"Do I look like Ryoga?" Ranma replied, snorting disdainfully. But there was a touch of amusement in her voice, and so the redhead wandered off further down the ship's deck, leaving the four real women of the crew to watch her departure.

"And there he goes... I hate watching him just walk away from us like that" Ukyo sighed.

"It is a pity... still, there's one consolation prize; Ranma does have a very admirable posterior," Kodachi noted, watching as said pair of cheeks perkily bounced and jiggled their way across the deck.

"Meh, boy-type Ranma's butt is better," Shampoo scoffed. Despite her words, though, she was admiring the view just as intently as Kodachi.

"Oh, indubitably! Ah... speaking of which... Nabiki Tendo, might I prevail upon you...?"

"Sorry, I don't have any shots of male Ranma in that sort of state... he's always been more modest as a boy than as a girl," Nabiki promptly replied.

Kodachi sighed mournfully. "A pity"

"Well, it's not as if there was ever any profit to be made from shots like that," Nabiki flippantly observed.

"You are truly a strange girl, Nabiki Tendo. You sincerely mean to tell us that you feel nothing towards Ranma?" Kodaci asked, studying the eldest of their numbers through slitted eyes.

"Oh, please... aside from what is admittedly a hot bod, what exactly does Ranma even have going for him anyway?" Nabiki scoffed.

"He's compassionate, noble, self-sacrificing, gentle and caring, even to those who don't really deserve such mercy," Kodachi shot back.

"He strong, brave, honorable warrior," Shampoo interjected.

"He's funny, cheerful, loyal, friendly, quick to let things go if you make the effort to make amends, and always stands up for those he considers friends," Ukyo insisted.

Nabiki looked from one girl to the next, then shook her head. "You girls have got it seriously bad..."

"Make no mistake, Nabiki Tendo; we are all aware that Ranma darling has his faults... but on the measure, his positive traits far exceed them. Our desires for him extend far beyond mere tawdry lust! ...Speaking of which..."

"Oh, please... I hugged him. Once. That's it! It's not as if you girls haven't all gone further with him than that! I know for a fact that you tried to wrestle him in his bedroom-"

"I was trying to take his futon sheets so I could wash them for him!" Kodachi interjected in protest, glowering at her suspicious rivals.

Undaunted, Nabiki carried on heedles, "and Shampoo slept with him -"

"She mean snoozy sleep, not bump-bump sleep," Shampoo scoffed as Kodachi and Ukyo's gazes shifted to her.

"And I seem to recall you were very insistent on joining him in the bathroom during your stay at our place, Ukyo - something about washing his back?"

"Okay, okay, we get your point!" a blushing Ukyo snapped.

Nabiki simply smirked, privately reveling in the win. 'Still got it!'

The quartet drifted off into a somewhat sullen silence, minutes slowly stretching past before Ukyo spoke up again. "Um... Nabiki?"

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say... thanks. For not laughing at me last night," Ukyo clarified, unable to look the seventeen-year-old in the eye as she said it.

"What are...? Oh. Oh, that. Well, it's not as if it was that surprising," Nabiki flippantly observed.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" an indignant Ukyo demanded.

"It means that one of the things you girls share in common with Ranma is a streak of pride and stubbornness that causes you to do the stupidest things. Especially if you think it means either showing each other up or impressing Ranma. Seriously, Ukyo; the only uncertainty isn't if you and Shampoo would agree to a burping competition, it's whether or not Kodachi would join in. Or maybe whether or not Shampoo is already planning to challenge you to one in the near future, just because you're her rival and it's something you can claim dominance in," Nabiki added as an afterthought.

Both Ukyo and Shampoo glared at Nabiki, but then caught sight of each other glaring and pointedly looked away from each other. Clearly, they didn't intend to dignify that claim with an answer, which suited Nabiki just fine. She had a nice warm sunny patch and, if she tried really hard, she could pretend she was sunbathing on a nice beach somewhere.

From the other end of the ship, Ranma stole a cautious glance at the four real girls, and then sighed softly in relief. 'So glad they're not fighting... if I had to get involved in one of their brawls when we're all naked, I just know it's not going to go well for me.'

The boy-turned-girl shivered, partially from the thought, partially as a cold breeze blew across certain rather sensitive portions of his altered anatomy.

A little while later...

"Land ahoy! Hands off BLEEP and on with socks!"

Umok's thundering voice, deep enough and loud enough to shake the ship's timbers, elicited a scramble of activity from the newly formed crew. The girls grabbed their clothes and began pulling them on, whilst Ranma grabbed both his and Ryoga's clothes and then vanished into the crew's quarters, emerging shortly thereafter male, clothed, and alongside the similarly decent Ryoga Hibiki.

With that done, it was time to scramble to guide the ship into docking, with Kodachi at the wheel barking orders that the other teens did their best to follow. For once, fortune was kind to their motley group, and they managed to pull up to the pier and drop anchor without crashing or sinking it.

"Land at last!" Nabiki cheered.

"Don't get too attached, we probably won't stay here long," Ranma cautioned her.

"Not that there's much here to get attached to... what a dump," Ukyo observed.

Harsh words, but not unwarranted. Compared to Becop Island, this village seemed quite poor and shabby, with dirt roads and a worn, weathered look to the buildings.

"A dump's better than nothing... so, where do we go first?" Ranma muttered, more to himself than anyone else.

"I suggest, captain, that you go and find the local pawn shop, whilst your ladies take what funds you have and go shopping and look to see if there's any kind of public bathhouse," Umok interjected.

"And what about me?" Ryoga asked, arms folded and tapping his fingers against his bicep.

"You stay here on guard, Ryoga. We let you go exploring, we might lose you forever," Ranma declared firmly.

"Hey!"

"Is true, Ryoga get lost too-too bad, Shampoo say you stay here too," the Chinese Amazon interjected.

"You got no right to say that to me!" Ryoga growled.

"You no could find door out of Nekohanten back when you first meet great-grandmother! You literally get lost in Shampoo home for hours, despite Shampoo and great-grandmother telling you right way to go!" Shampoo barked back.

"Seriously? Wow, man, you ain't that bad at the Tendo Dojo," Ranma observed.

Ryoga growled angrily, unable to refute these accurate attacks on his character.

"Besides, you're the first mate and the second best fighter here; it's your duty to stay behind and guard this ship against possible attack," Umok interjected.

"...M'not second best," Ryoga muttered, but the imp's words were clearly a balm on his wounded ego, and so he settled down.

"...Alright then, girls; let's get shopping!" Ranma declared, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"And that right there proves you are 100% a guy, Ranma. No girl would ever sound so dismayed at the prospect of shopping time," Nabiki quipped, grinning shamelessly as Ranma threw her a disgruntled look, with the other girls actually giggling at the process.

The quintet of designated shoppers tromped down the gangway, and no sooner had they reached the pier than they found themselves confronted by what was obviously the local dockmaster. The uncharitable thought instantly struck Ranma that he had to be one of the ugliest guys that Ranma had ever met, and Ranma had met quite a few in his time - more if you counted the hideously ugly old men, like Happosai or that astral projecting freak.

He was pale as a fish's belly, pasty and visibly clammy looking, with thick lips curved into a near permanent leer and greasy black hair desperately combed in an attempt to pretend he wasn't going bald. With spindly limbs and a pot belly that bulged out between his shirt and his shorts, which the gross middle-aged wretch didn't even try to cover, he didn't look like he could have threatened Soun Tendo... which is clearly what the identical twin goons, who looked like crude idols of macho men come to life, were for.

"That'll be 10 beris per person for the docking fee," he barked, trying to sound authoritative and to Ranma sounding more like a lecherous old toad.

'...Does Umok count as a person? Nah.' "That's 60 beris, then... Nabiki, pay the man," Ranma ordered, also trying to sound authoritative and privately hoping he was doing a better job at it than this loser.

"Why me?" Nabiki asked, looking at Ranma with her best innocent expression.

Her peers simply turned to her with varying degrees of amusement and exasperation, staring at her until she grumbled and grumpily thrust some bills at the dockmaster.

"Enjoy your stay," he slavered, before trudging back in the direction of a dingy hut that clearly served as his day office.

Ranma waited until he was gone before turning back to the girls. "Okay, we'll meet back here in... let's say about two hours? Just... try not to get into trouble while I'm not here, okay?"

"Trouble? Us?" Kodachi asked innocently, giving Ranma a wide-eyed, sweetly smiling expression.

"We can look after self, airen. No worry about us," Shampoo assured him.

Ranma looked skeptical about that, but he nodded and walked away, leaving the four girls to their own devices.

Once she trusted Ranma was out of earshot, Nabiki shook her head. "Honestly, does he really think we'd get in trouble in just two hours?"

As it turned out, it took maybe two minutes...

A chorus of wolf-whistles filled the air as guys stopped in their tracks to ogle the young women strolling up the dirt road that served as the town's main street. Faces twisted with lust leered openly at the quartet, some actually salivating in desire as lecherous cries rose from the onlookers.

"Oh, man, I've died and gone to heaven!"

"Hey, cuties, wanna come for a ride on my ship?"

"Lookit the bazoonkas on that beauty with the blue hair!"

"Ooh, are you a princess, lovely thing?"

Ukyo blushed and tried to hunker in on herself, hunching her shoulders and staring at the street to avoid looking any of the leches in the eye. Kodachi, Nabiki and Shampoo, on the other hand, simply strolled confidently through the streets, letting the lustful cacophony roll off of their backs in the face of their impenetrable shields of pride.

"Hey, sexy things, why don't you dump that girly-boy loser you're hanging with an' come hang with a real man?!"

At that comment, Ukyo's control snapped; she pushed her way through the ranks of her companions and fixed the cat-caller with a deathly glare, roaring, "I'm a woman, dammit!"

"Oh, good, dat's much bedder," chuckled a new voice, this one gurgling like a drain half-choked with congealed fat.

Ukyo's head snapped around, only for her to blink as she realized she wasn't so much eye-to-eye as eye-to-navel. She had to crane her head upwards to look this latest lech in his piggy eyes, glinting lustfully over an oily, toad-like grin. He looked like he'd been built from slabs of fatty pork, thick muscles overlaid with an even thicker slab of fat exaggerating his short-legged, long-armed, boulder-bellied, ape-like build, drooping jowls flowing into a wobbling double-chin. A thick odor of sweat and stale beer rolled off of him in waves, practically thick enough to cut, and Ukyo's lip curled as she instinctively took a step backwards.

Craning forward, the man - if one was generous with the term - smiled, filthy yellow teeth studding his jaw like rounded-off boulders. "So, howsabout it, ladies? Wanna go fer a walk wiv me?"

"...Not even if you paid me," a disgusted Ukyo declared, her companions nodding in fellow feeling.

And just like that, the sleazy geniality of their would-be date evaporated, rage blossoming across his malformed features. "You can't talk ter me likkkat!"

He swung one massive, ham-like fist around in a clumsy haymaker that hit the street hard enough to leave a small crater in the compacted, rock-like dust... a pity for him that Ukyo was already in motion, springing effortlessly into the air before whipping out her trusty battle spatula and bringing it crashing down on the brute's head with an almighty CLANG! Her foe's eyes rolled up in his oafish head and, groaning feebly, he toppled backwards like a tree, hitting the ground with an audible crash.

Ukyo landed gracefully on her feet in a crouching position, standing up straight and bringing her spatula to bear in an ornate flourish. She flashed a wicked, toothy smirk at her audience and asked, "Next?"

The leches and losers fell silent, cringing away for fear of drawing the crossdressing martial artist's wrath down upon their heads. Confident they would be left alone, Ukyo made a show of stowing away her spatula and dusting her hands.

"Nothing too it!" she chuckled.

"Ukyo many things, but Shampoo admit, Ukyo is competent martial artist," her Chinese rival noted.

"Competent?!" the indignant Ukyo snarled, readily picking up on the implicit insult behind Shampoo's choice of words.

"Ladies, ladies, priorities! Clothes shopping first, brawling later," Nabiki interjected.

It wasn't enough to stop Ukyo and Shampoo from throwing each other the stink-eye, but they left it to that before falling in with Nabiki and Kodachi, who had already gained half a block on them by this point.

"I wonder if Rama darling is having a less eventual excursion?" Kodachi mused to herself.

On the other side of town...

It took more courage than Ranma would have liked to admit to enter the Booty Locker, simply based on the name alone. He visibly relaxed as he found himself staring not at some den of debauchery, but at a ramshackle and junk-crowded store, a veritable maze of cramped shelves groaning under more stuff than Ranma could even hope to identify. At the center of it all, slumped behind a battered counter that had clearly seen better days, was what Ranma took to be the store's owner. A scrawny old man, withered and gnarled like a salt-stunted tree, his whole body a washed out shade of gray from his grimy skin to his wild mane of scraggly hair that looked like a tornado in a wig factory, with hands like gloves full of walnuts and arms like sticks wrapped in knotted rope. An ugly great scar stretched over the ruin of what had once been an eye, whilst the other bulged to the point Ranma wondered if it would pop out, bloodshot and burning with a fever-light that suggested more than a tint of madness.

Cautiously, the newly anointed captain sidled up to the counter. He'd learned the hard way not to underestimate crazy old people. It hurt less if you treated them with caution to start with. "Uh... 'scuse me, sir?"

"Whaddisit?" growled the old coot, exposing dirty yellow teeth like a horse had somehow gotten snaggletoothed.

"Uh, this is the pawn shop, right?" Ranma hesitantly asked, not really sure of how to make the best impression here.

"It ain't dah broffel," was the response, the one-eyed weirdo grimacing in what Ranma took a minute to realize was a lecherous grin. Though his voice creaked like an old tree in a windstorm, he seemed strong and vital, and Ranma could understand him.

"I've got a load of things I want to pawn, but they're all on my ship... can you maybe come out and take a look there? See what you'll buy?" Ranma asked.

The storekeep stared at him, that single bloodshot eye burning a hole into Ranma's soul. "Load of stuff on the ship, he says, wants me to come out to his ship to look at it... is you a pirate, boy?"

Ranma's heart skipped a beat, his eyes shooting wide open as he stared at the storekeep in horror. "How - no, I'm not a pirate! Why would you even think that?!"

The old man cut off Ranma's desperate protestations with a snort. "Honest cap'ns don't got no big biznis wiv me. An' you don't look like no merchant, boy, nor a fisherman at that. So that leaves pirate... you wunnadem stargazin' fools what gots it interyer head to go chasing the One Piece, eh, boy?"

"I swear, I'm not a pirate! ...And you don't seem too bothered by the idea that I am..."

"Heh! Boy, I gots me no problem wiv pirates. Dey an' me, we do biznis, see? Dey sells me crap, I sells dat crap ta uvver folks... usually more pirates just starting out. No, I gots me no problem wiv pirates... lessen they tries to takes me money!"

At that, he gave Ranma a feral grin and withdrew a notched, but still very sharp-looking cutlass from behind the counter and laid it out flat, patting some ominous stains on the blade.

"No tricks, I swear!" Ranma promised him. "...And what the heck is the One Piece, anyway?"

"What's the One Piece? Ah-hee-hahahhaha-ah-hahahaha!" The old coot crowed, slapping his shovel-like hand against the counter.

Ranma squirmed with embarrassment as the laughter continued to echo around him, the echoes still lingering in his ears even as the storekeep suddenly narrowed his one good eye, squinting at Ranma.

"Is you bein' serious? Where is you beens, boy? Under a rock? On a deserted island? Under a rock on a deserted island? I's talkin' about the One Piece!"

"I'm not from around here," Ranma grumbled.

"Must be sum backwater you done crawled out of, boy. Probably some two-beri bandit hole where everbody be spending they days drinking bad moonshine and shagging they sistahs! The One Piece, boy, is the biggest, baddest treasure of them all. The stash of Gold Roger, the pirate king hisself! He's the only man what ever sailed around the whole Grand Line and lived to tell de tale! An' he come from right here in the East Blue - so that's where they killed him, right in his home port o' Loguetown! But before they cut his froat, he tells de world dat he's left his whole treasure behind for the boldest soul in de world to claim it. Ever since then, young folks been taking to da see in they droves, dreaming of being pirates and finding the One Piece."

Ranma blinked slowly, filing that away as 'potentially useful, but probably won't ever become relevant' - a rather large section of his memories, it had to be admitted. "Okay... thanks... hey, wait a minute; do you have any books for sale?"

"Books? The coot repeated sourly. "Dossiz look like a book shop to you, boy?"

"Well..." Ranma trailed off, glancing around at the sheer volume of bric-a-brac, unwilling to put his tentative plan to risk with his well-established tendency to put his foot in his mouth.

But for once, luck was with him and his silence paid off; the storekeep looked thoughtful and gnawed one long, ragged, fingernail. "Werl... I do gots something..."

With surprising agility, he vaulted over the counter and began slinking through the maze of shelves, with Ranma following quietly along behind. They wended their way over to one corner, where the storekeep angrily thumped a massive, battered, ugly old sea-chest with one fist.

"Fifteen years, I's had this cluttering up me shop. S'fulla books. Got it offa some fancy-pants type, claimed he was an explorer. Sweet-talked me outta year's profit for the damn fing, then legged it. Never could sell it. Folks didn't even want it as ballast. Lord Stromfel have mercy, if I's ever see that swindler again, I'll still be able to point a gun..."

Ranma gave the chest a thoughtful once-over. 'Okay, it's the ugliest thing I've seen since we got here... except maybe this guy selling it... but you could probably fit a lot of books in there. And we need something to do to kill time when we're just sailing around...'

Nodding to himself, Ranma asked, "How much do you want for it?"

"Eh?!" The old man looked gobsmacked. He boggled at Ranma out of his one eye, then finally shrugged. "Y'noowhut? Take it. You de first man I's ever seen actually want it. Infact... if you'll carry this damn fing outta here, I'll come wiv you ta yer ship and I'll take a look at dis junk you wanna sells."

"It's a deal!" Ranma cheerfully declared, before reaching out and casually hoisting the massive chest onto his shoulders. The old man looked genuinely surprised at that feat of strength, but allowed Ranma to lead the way out of his shop, scurrying nimbly along behind.

'Well, that was easy! I wonder how the girls are doing with the shopping...?' Ranma mused to himself as he headed back for the docks.

Back in the market district...

It had not taken the four girls long to find the market district, especially after they had dealt with other local thugs who had made the mistake of presuming them to be easy in more ways than one. And so they were currently engaged in one of the iconic favorite pasttimes of the average teenage girl: clothes shopping.

"Look at all these different outfits! Not bad for a place so far off the beaten track, as it were," Nabiki noted, holding up a shirt to give it a once-over.

"Anybody else notice how skimpy this stuff is?" Ukyo muttered, holding up her third tank-top so far.

"In fairness, given the climate here seems to favor warm and humid conditions, combined with the prevalence of the seafaring life, it would be logical to favor styles that let the skin breathe," Kodachi commented.

"...Huh, now that you bring it up, I wonder if this whole world is some kind of tropical paradise, or if we just got lucky that way," Ukyo mused.

"Who knows? Oh, this one cute!" Shampoo declared with a smile.

"Hm? Oh, Shampoo? If I were you, I'd see if they have that in a different color - that one really doesn't go with your complexion," Nabiki commented, glancing over at the Chinese Amazon.

"...Huh?" a confused Shampoo responded, directing a quizzical look from her choice in attire to Nabiki and then back again.

"She means it clashes with your hair and eyes," Ukyo explained.

Blinking, the Chinese Amazon pulled a lock of her lengthy bluish-purple mane around to compare it to the color of the skirt she'd selected. She studied them in turn, then gave a skeptical look at Nabiki. "You sure you no just jealous?"

"Pft. You're the one interested in snagging our captain, not me. I'm just giving you some womanly advice," Nabiki scoffed.

"You no could win Ranma anyway," Shampoo spat back, before sourly returning her choice to the table and resuming her perusal.

Nabiki bit back a rejoinder about Ranma's confession the previous night to finding her just as attractive as Shampoo, Ukyo or Kodachi. 'Sheesh, I can't believe he said that! Okay, maybe he was just lying to get me into trouble, but... I don't know, cheating at truth or dare feels kind of beneath Ranma; he can be surprisingly honorable on occasion. But if he was telling the truth... he really thinks I'm cute? Sexy, even?'

Unconsciously, she reached around and surreptitiously cupped her buttocks. 'Well, I always knew I had a nice butt, not that anyone at school notices... still, nice enough for Ranma to admire? I always thought I'd be the last girl he'd think was attractive! ...Huh, wonder what would have happened if I'd kept him thinking I was serious when we were engaged...?'

Nabiki's eyes widened as what she'd just thought sank in, and she quickly slapped herself across the face. 'Get a grip, Nabiki! He may be the cutest guy in school, but he is way more trouble than he's worth, especially when those three crazies are right here with you! Focus on the clothes; a nice wardrobe is always more reliable than any boy, anyway.'

Despite that personal chastisement, Nabiki still grabbed a nice set of short pants that looked like they'd flatter her butt.

Meanwhile, the other women of the newly formed Nerima Pirates were also lost in thought.

'Man, I wish I could wear some of these clothes... they look really pretty. But no, I gotta wear the men's stuff..' Ukyo mentally sighed to herself. She was just about to put back a long, slit-sided skirt, when suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

'Wait a minute... who says I have to wear the men's stuff? I got into the habit of doing it in Nerima, but nobody ever forced me to crossdress! Okay, yes, those idiots decided that me dressing up like a woman meant I was somehow declaring myself open game, but they're not here now, are they? Ranchan confessed he thinks I'm sexy - well, I can at least start wearing something a bit more flattering now! Even if I do have to put up with these three, I've got a golden opportunity to really hammer it home into Ranchan's head that I'm a girl - that I can be his wife!'

Nodding to herself in determination, Ukyo added the skirt back to her pile of stuff that she intended to buy.

'Hmm... these clothes are substantially different to the qipao I traditionally wear in Nerima, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. As Kodachi observed, they are suited for the climate, they don't look as if they'd impede my fighting skills, and almost as importantly, they look as if they will flatter my figure, too! It's all a matter of selecting choices that I find personally appealing...'

Kodachi watched Shampoo's intense scrutiny of the available clothes, and privately shook her head. 'Poor things; do they truly lack imagination so? We are pirates now! Pirates sailing the seas under my darling Ranma! Why wouldn't they dress appropriately for our new role? What's the point in being sexy pirate queens if we can't dress the part!? After all, I'm sure Ranma will be ever so grateful for our choice in attire... ah well, if they cannot see it, then I alone shall benefit from such foresight! Oh-hohohoho!'

"Hey, does anyone know Ryoga's size?" Nabiki suddenly asked, making her companions turn to her.

"Shampoo not know... why Nabiki ask?"

"Well, we're supposed to be buying clothes for the guys as well as ourselves, right? I know Ranma's size well enough, but Ryoga's is a mystery to me."

"...Exactly how do you know Ranma's size in clothes?" Ukyo asked suspiciously.

"I do help out with the laundry occasionally... since Ranma lives there, that means I've handled his laundry on occasion too," Nabiki patiently explained.

"Make sense to Shampoo... well, Shampoo not know for sure, but Shampoo think Ryoga is about same size as Ranma."

"Alright, we'll get him some stuff that's about a size bigger; he should be able to tailor it to avoid being too much hassle anyway, since he's Mr. Survival Expert," Nabiki declared.

"Speaking of Ryoga, I wonder what he's up to... I hope he isn't too bored being left all alone on the ship," Ukyo commented.

At that very moment...

Eight cackling men clad in ragged, sea-stained sailor's garb formed a circle around a single youth, cackling and jeering to themselves and to their prospective victim... who seemed strangely blithe about the whole affair. Instead, he leisurely cracked first his knuckles and then his neck.

"You guys must be all sorts of dumb to try and rob a ship when it's docked at the pier," Ryoga observed casually.

"Bah, there ain't no Marines within two days' sail of here! These spineless maggots won't be putting up no fight - so don't expect nobody to come save ya, boy! Now, unless ya want a beatin' that'll leave ya black 'n' blue, I suggest ya surrender! Ain't nobody in these waters tougher'n Captain Black John Licorice and his Lolly Pirates, right, lads?!" Roared the pirate leader, a massive brute whose many-braided beard resembled a writhing knot of black licorice.

The seven pirates raised their fists and roared in unison, cheering at their captain's confidence.

Ryoga, in comparison, simply gave them all an uncomfortable look. "Um... I'm sorry, but you guys are kind of the wrong age and gender to be lolis..."

"L-O-L-L-Y, not L-O-L-I!" roared Captain Licorice; that was evidently a sore spot for him. As evidenced by the way that he suddenly went charging towards Ryoga at full tilt like a mad bull, swinging his massive cutlass at the young martial artist with all the grace of a rookie butcher wielding a cleaver.

Ryoga simply sighed and deftly caught the blade between forefinger and thumb, that seemingly innocuous hold causing Captain Licorice's attack to stop dead in its tracks. A look of absolute incredulity spread over his brutish assailant's face as he pulled with all his might, only for his cutlass to remain exactly where it was without so much as a quiver gracing Ryoga's arm. With casual ease, Ryoga slipped his trusty umbrella from its traditional resting place on his back and brought it arcing overhead in a lighting fast strike that landed squarely on the pirate captain's head. The crack of iron on bone filled the air, and Captain Licorice's features went slack, drool seeping from the corners of his mouth before he collapsed bonelessly in a heap on the deck.

The so-called Lolly Pirates had maybe a moment to contemplate the wisdom of their decision to attack this particular vessel before Ryoga waded into them, fists, feet and umbrella flying in smooth but lightning fast strikes that left each foe unconscious on the deck in a single blow.

To say it took two minutes would have been generous. Ryoga glanced over the groaning bodies, checking for any lingering signs of defiance, and then slung his umbrella back over his shoulders when none were evidenced.

"Pathetic... so, what do I do now, Umok?"

"Why are you asking me?" The imp asked, even as he descended from his usual perch in the crow's nest.

"You're the one who knows how this piracy thing is supposed to work!" Ryoga defensively snapped back.

Umok rolled his third eye, but took pity on the Eternally Lost Boy. "Well, now you've beaten them up, the next step is to take anything valuable from them. Then you go to their ship, you dump them there, and you steal anything valuable from it as well."

Ryoga visibly brightened at the imp's instructions. "Okay, I can handle that!"

Umok watched as Ryoga began busily rifling through the pockets of his fallen foes and then, once he was done, picking them up and throwing them onto the deck of their own ship, which had docked just behind the Milka. No sooner had the last of the pirates gone flying than Ryoga was leaping after them, landing neatly on the deck and storming boldly into the crew's quarters.

"Huh. Kid does have potential," Umok commented, pulling out a fresh cigar. He was about to light it up, before he paused and stared thoughtfully after Ryoga.

"Hmm... better follow him. They might have been exaggerating about how bad he is with directions, but just in case..."

With that decision, Umok stuck the unlit cigar in his mouth and lazily glided over to the ship of the Lolly Pirates, which was currently creaking and shuddering in a most alarming way.

Not long after...

"Looks like we all did pretty well," Ranma observed, looking at his crew - and those two words still sounded so weird in his head.

"Yeah, we got clothes for everybody, and didn't even break the bank doing so - I had no idea you knew how to haggle like that, Nabiki," Ukyo confessed.

"It's a gift," the middle Tendo purred, rifling through the bundle of paper bills with practiced ease. "Kind of weird they have paper currency alongside old fashioned gold and silver coins..."

"Please, this whole world is full of anachronisms, even from what little we've seen!" Kodachi scoffed. "Not that I'll complain too much when they're to our advantage... speaking of which; Ranma darling, were your efforts successful?"

"Yeah! The old man had this big chest full of books, and he was willing to part with it for free! I mean, I have no idea what's in there, but at least we have something to read now, don't we?" Ranma shrugged.

"Many somethings...this book look interesting," Shampoo announced from where she was currently snooping through the chest's contents. "Myths and Legends of the Grand Line... what is that?"

Ranma blinked, then scratched his head. "Not sure myself... the pawnshop guy, he mentioned it in passing. Some kind of unexplored sea full of pirates..."

"Well, that's probably of no importance to us. Put it away, Shampoo, save reading it for when we're out of here," Nabiki ordered.

Shampoo cast her a wry look but chose to comply. "Books is nice, but maybe we should get other things too? ...Things other than dirty magazines, Shampoo mean."

Ryoga blushed and glowered defensively at the five amused teens staring at him. "Hey, you were all complaining about being bored! I grabbed anything that looked like it might be distracting for a time that I could find on that stupid ship! It's not my fault that amounted to porn and several times our weight in candy!"

"Nobody's blaming you for that, Ryoga, but it's not exactly entertaining for a bunch of girls, now is it?" Ranma sighed. "Look, did you girls find out about a public bath when you were in town?"

"Yes, we did; chalk it up to another of those weird half-Western, half-Japanese things this world has going on," Nabiki responded.

"Okay, then... now, who do we leave behind on watch?" Ranma mused, mostly to himself but making the mistake of talking aloud as he did so.

A chorus of groans issued forth at his comment.

"You can't be serious! After everything we've been through, we deserve a nice hot bath!" Nabiki protested.

"I know that! But somebody needs to watch the ship!" Ranma shot back.

Sour looks crossed the faces of Ranma's reluctant crew, even his fiancées, and Ranma mentally groaned to himself. He was just steeling himself for the imminent argument, when the last thing he would have expected happened.

"I'll do it."

Six teenagers blinked in surprise, and turned as one to the imp floating above their heads.

"You will?" Ranma asked, unable to keep his surprise - and skepticism - from his voice.

"I can't promise I can fight off anybody who comes after the ship, but I can at least zip on over and fetch you lot. Go on, go into town, have a bath... please."

The sextet of teens glowered at Umok, but none of them protested; as insulting as the request was, the truth was there was only so much you could do with cold seawater and coarse soap.

Ranma was the first to break the stare, decisively clapping his hands together. "Alright then, it's settled! Let's grab some fresh clothes, go in and take a bath, maybe hit the shops and see if we can find some cards, some board games, something to do when we're sailing, and then take off. Let's not forget, we are pirates now, and the Navy already wants our heads!"

Silence fell on the group as Ranma's words sank in. Uncertainty flickerd across several faces, before Ryoga finally scoffed loudly and folded his arms. "For a captain, Saotome, you sure suck at motivational speeches."

"Oh, bite me, pork-breath!" Ranma spat in return.

And yet, somehow, that little exchange broke the tension. Able to breathe again, the sextet of lost teens descended on their newly purchased clothes, whilst Umok made himself useful and brought out towels from the crew's quarters. Once they were ready, they all set off down the gangplank, following Kodachi's lead to the public bathhouse.

Chapter End & Closing Notes

So, starting from this chapter, we will probably begin to timeskip, since most of our heroes' "adventures" in the East Blue won't really be interesting enough to discuss; this is the "training wheel" area, where they can learn to actually sail a ship. We should have the equivalent of the Loguetown and Entering Paradise arcs soon.

I hope folks weren't too put out with the truth or dare session in this chapter; our heroes needed something to do to kill time, and frankly they do need to start getting to know each other. If you actually liked that sequence, well, I'm not averse to including others in the future, if only as potentially canonical omakes, but I'd need suggestions of questions, dares and the like for games of truth or dare or the king's game.

Also, apologies for being so vague about the outfits that the girls picked up whilst shopping, but I know as much about fashion as Ryoga knows about pathfinding. So if anyone wants to suggest specific costumes for our heroes, please feel free to go right ahead!