AN: Thank you all so much for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
"What do you mean I'm going to solve all your problems?" Hermione drawled as her heart slowed.
"You're the one who's going to seduce Severus Snape," Ginny replied, with a gleam in her eyes that Hermione had learned not to trust.
"Excuse me?" Hermione exclaimed. "Why would I ever want to seduce Severus Snape?"
"Because I have a plan to win Draco, and it only works if Snape has a girlfriend."
Hermione raised an eyebrow and twisted her lower lip.
"Okay." Ginny took a deep breath. "Just hear me out."
Hermione tapped her foot, wondering if Ginny had drunk too much wine before calling this emergency meeting. The red head seemed to be in her right mind. Her speech wasn't slurred, and she could stand upright. Yet, most drunks on the verge of passing out made more sense than her.
"Lucius Malfoy said that Draco cannot date until his godfather falls in love," Ginny continued.
"Why would Lucius make such a deal?"
"I have no idea," Ginny replied. "Then again, who knows why Lucius Malfoy does the things he does."
Ginny had a point there.
"A couple of nights ago, Draco tried to persuade Snape to pretend to fall in love with someone, but gave up when it was clear pleading with him would go nowhere. So, we need to find Snape a real girlfriend."
Hermione's stomach sank. She did not like where this was going.
"Draco and I were thinking of any way to find someone who would do it for us. We thought about running an ad in the paper, but Lucius could read it and thwart us. We thought about finding someone from a bar, but who would be interested in dating Severus Snape if we just came out and said that's what we needed her to do?"
"Not me," Hermione replied in a low voice.
"Everything from Snape meeting her to the blossoming of their relationship had to appear natural," the red head continued. "I was asking Neville what kind of woman Snape would go for before you came, but he was proving less than helpful."
"What made you think I'd be any more helpful?"
"At first, I thought if we found a potential suitor you could befriend her. She'd come over for a few visits, run into Snape, they'd talk, and a relationship would form."
"I really don't want strangers in my quarters…"
"Which is fine, because now I don't need to do that!" Ginny answered. "It turns out, I don't need to find a woman because there's one right here."
Hermione's chest constricted. Please, please don't tell me this is going in the direction I think it is.
"You're going to pretend to love him and seduce him."
"Excuse me!" Yep, Ginny went there.
"I know this sounds crazy…"
"This sounds absolutely demented!"
"But if you could just do me this favor, I'd be so grateful."
"Okay," Hermione held out her hand. "You want me to seduce Professor Snape so Draco can date Angelica?"
"No, I want you to date Snape so he can date me."
"Ginny, he isn't in love with you."
"Not yet anyway, but feelings can change."
Hermione groaned and put her head into her hands.
"I know this sounds crazy, and I can't believe I'm asking this. I'm telling you though, you're absolutely perfect for Snape."
"Perfect?"
"Yes you and him would make a great match."
"Okay, let's back up." Hermione took a step back. "Why do you think I'd be perfect for Professor Snape?"
"Because I watched you handle him. You weren't intimidated by him, and you actually knew who that Italian potioneer was."
"Anyone who's minored in potions in the university would know who Petruchio Montague was."
"And how many people have minored in potions who aren't afraid of Snape?"
Hermione bit the inside of her cheek. Her friend had a point there.
"It would look so natural for you to talk to him about potions every once in awhile, find ways to get closer to him, and be your naturally charming self. He'd be putty in your hands within a couple of months, just enough time for me to show Draco I'm perfect for him."
"First of all, in order to get Professor Snape to talk to me, instead of snark at me, he would need to like me," Hermione replied. "Which he doesn't."
"That could be a minor problem," Ginny conceded.
"I'd say it's more than a major problem, considering your entire plan revolves around him at least tolerating me."
"I'm sure once he gets to know you, he'll love you."
"That's the other major issue with your plan," Hermione continued. "You're assuming I can seduce a man, which we both know, I can't do because, as I've been told, I'm 'a stuffy bookworm who wouldn't know a fun time if it hit her over the head with a broomstick.'"
Ginny closed her mouth.
"If I couldn't make things work with Ron, what makes you think I can make things work with Professor Snape?"
"Severus Snape isn't Ron," Ginny's voice was softer. "He may be able to appreciate you in a way Ron never could."
"That's the other problem," Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "I do not appreciate Professor Snape in the slightest. I spend most of my time trying to avoid him. Why would I want to embarrass myself trying to seduce him for a plan that's bound to fail?"
"Because you want to help me?" Ginny gave her the sweetest grin possible.
"Oh yes, I will enjoy humiliating myself and wasting my time trying to romance a shrew in the name of my best friend, who, by the way, will probably have her heart broken when she realizes Draco takes no interest in her."
"Why are you so convinced he'll turn me down?"
"Because he was seen kissing another woman."
"That's not a huge problem."
Hermione groaned.
"What if I sweetened the pot?" Ginny asked.
"What could you possibly say that would convince me for a minute that this is a good idea?" Hermione furrowed her eyebrows.
"I could convince Draco to compensate you for this," she lowered her voice. "And I don't mean just for the dates."
Ginny now had Hermione's full attention.
"You told me you wanted to pay off the Gringott's debt by yourself, which is why you wouldn't accept a sickle for me." Ginny approached her. "This may be your chance to work it off."
"First of all, Draco has no idea how much I owe the goblins."
"Trust me, it's going to be a small sum for him, and a small price to pay for his happiness."
"You don't know if he'll be willing to pay for this."
"Leave that aspect to me."
"I," Hermione swallowed. "I'll be whoring myself out to Professor Snape."
"First of all, you don't need to sleep with him," Ginny said. "All you need to do is take him out on a few dates, kiss him a couple of times…"
"And shatter his heart when he realizes it's all an act!"
Ginny grew quiet.
"This isn't some Quidditch game or a sales pitch to a finicky oenophile. This is a man's heart and soul on the line. How can I hurt him just so you and Draco can beat Lucius at his own game?"
"Because you need to be free to live your own life." Ginny's expression was sincere.
Hermione took a shaky breath.
"I've pleaded with you and begged you to let others help you with this debt. You've refused at every turn, which is fine, but it's going to be due soon."
Hermione's stomach churned. As if she needed a reminder of that.
"I would like to see you live your own life, to be free to live up to your potential instead of slaving away in some goblin's cave." Ginny folded her hands. "This is the one way everyone gets what they want."
Hermione's heart skipped a beat. She should be fleeing the room and forgetting this entire conversation ever occurred. Yet, how long had that debt hung over her head? How much longer could she afford to put the goblins off? Was dating Professor Snape the worst thing in the world? Was this a viable way out of her dilemma?
"You don't have to make a decision right now, but you need to make it soon," Ginny said.
"I," Hermione gulped. "I still don't know about this."
"Sorry I'm late." Neville opened the door. "I ran into Poppy and we got to talking about putting some roses into the hospital wing." He stepped inside. "Have I missed anything?"
"No," Hermione said. "I just started feeling unwell and think I need to lie down."
"Oh," Neville replied. "Tea could help."
"No, I don't think it will." She gave Neville a quick hug. "Thank you for the tea, and I will see you later. Sorry I couldn't stay longer."
"Hermione?"
She froze in her tracks.
"Think about what I said."
Hermione turned to Ginny.
"It's the perfect solution, and we both know it," she continued.
"What's the perfect solution?" Neville asked.
"Nothing." Hermione held her book closer to her chest. "Goodbye, to both of you."
She rushed down the hallway, giving much more thought to Ginny's solution than she would ever care to admit.