Panville being fluffy!
CW/ References to sex. Nothing graphic and still rated T but just for extra warning so you know!
Again, reading pt1 Stories skin deep recommended for context.
He's too much
Too devoted
Too understanding
Too fucking perfect!
Something she can never give back!
They're nothing alike!
And still, she sees herself in him.
Maybe they're the ying and the yang.
The Saint and the Bitch
Or something.
And at the moment his hand in hers feels like a lifeline.
"It's going to be okay."
It's not.
Not today.
It's going to be a fucking disaster
Catastrophe
You don't know my mother.
"Pans, whatever happens…"
"I know!"
She can feel his eyes on her.
Even without looking.
Don't look at me like I'm fragile!
I'm not!
I am
I'm not!
"We don't have to do it today."
"We're already here. Might as well get it over with."
The garden of the Parkinson Manor never felt as green as today.
The flowers never smelled so vibrant.
The sound of her feet on the gravel never echoed like it does today.
The front door never felt so heavy.
Ten minutes!
That's all I'm going to give her
And it's more than she deserves.
"Nepsy!"
The Elf is still wearing the same purple dolls dress she once dressed on it.
And it answers her call immediately.
"Miss Pansy, Nepsy is happy yous is home."
"Yeah, well not for long…"
"Ooooh and miss has brought home a companion."
The Elf looks at Longbottom with eyes as wide as plates.
"Miss has found him. Very well done miss. Nepsy is very pleased!"
She stares at the creature blinking rapidly, still staring at him.
And how might you know what he is to me?
Fucking creepy creatures these elves.
"Yes, fine, okay. Nepsy, I'm leaving, could you please pack my things while I talk to mother."
"Not a good idea Nepsy thinks. Mistress is not happy. Nono, Miss Pansy might consider leaving without bothering Mistress."
I know!
I'm aware it's not a good idea.
But I want to.
I'm going to.
Because I deserve it.
The grand staircase is where they find her.
Drucilla Parkinson.
Lady Parkinson
My mother
The hag
"Pansy darling, Where have you been? Did they not let you home before now?"
As usual she does not wait for her answer.
"It's a disaster! Corban and your father are imprisoned. I'm not even allowed to speak with them. The aurors monitor the house too. Like we were guilty of something."
Not us, mother.
Just you.
And they're not wrong.
Mother's eyes flick to Neville, standing only a few steps behind her.
"Of course they wouldn't let you travel alone." She huffs, "You can leave now young man."
You don't talk to him like that.
Neville shifts behind her, "Sorry ma'am, but no."
A smile nearly escapes her as she looks at mother's face change color.
"Oh, don't be silly, As I said this house is monitored. She can't leave even if she wanted…"
"I leaked all the information Yaxley told me."
You taught me to conceal emotion
You taught me the power is at my reach if I know how to use it.
You taught me cold
Untouchable
Well mannered
High
Powerful
You never taught me anything but the games people play.
Now watch me play.
"Pansy love, what are you talking about?"
"I never thought you were stupid mother. I-leaked-all-the-information-I-got." She emphasises every word, "Everything he told me. Everything I heard eavesdropping. I wrote it down and leaked it forward."
Mother's cheeks have turned slightly pink.
But she still manages to look collected.
"Even if he somehow manages to get free. I will never marry Yaxley."
"Pansy."
Come on, be angry!
Show me there are emotions under that cover.
"Don't be silly dear. It's a magically binding contract. Surely you understand there's no way around that."
There is one.
"I'm leaving, mother."
I'm not yours to control anymore.
I'm free!
Free of Yaxley
Free of my duties
Free of this house
Free of the burden of your legacy
Free of you!
Mother laughs coldly, "Oh dear, where would you go?"
Anywhere that's not here.
"Anywhere I wish to."
"Pansy, time to stop joking."
"I'm not joking."
"Pansy Parkinson! Quit this silly game at once!"
Once you had authority over me.
Those days are gone!
Neville is closer.
She can feel his body behind her.
So she reaches her hand back
And he takes it.
Links their fingers together,
Filling her with new confidence.
"I'm leaving. I'm going to take my life into my own hands. I'm going to study and have a career and my name printed in papers all over the wizarding world! And guess what mother!? I'm going to marry the man I love and take his name and have his children. And then I'm going to teach my children they are free to do whatever they want to do. No legacy will ever stop them from getting what they want."
"So this is about some teenage crush?! Don't be stupid Pansyl We both know there's no stepping back from your marriage contract. Drop the childish dreams."
Neville takes a step ahead and is now standing beside her.
You don't have to stand up for me.
But please do.
"Ma'am I'm sorry to interrupt, you probably don't know me. My name is Neville Longbottom."
"I'm having a conversation with my daughter, boy!"
"Yes, well I think this concerns me too."
"And how would you possibly think that?"
"Because I love her."
You, whatnow?
She turns to look at him.
He's looking at mother with a solemn serious face.
I once thought you were a loser.
But you're actually the bravest
Most sincere
And true
And overall the best Person I've ever known.
How will I ever be worthy of you?
"And I don't appreciate the way you talk to her."
Drucilla Parkinson does not crack easily. Even now she lifts her head and looks at Neville along her nose with disgust.
"She's my daughter, I don't need teenage boys to tell me how to talk to her."
Next to her Neville straightens himself.
Rises his chin a little.
Merlin's fucking balls He's hot like that.
Standing tall
Eyes calm
Steady
Certain
Strong
Devoted
Brave
"No offence Mrs. Parkinson. But she's My soulmate" He raises his wand, "and I know she doesn't need me to defend her. But no one talks her down if I can help it."
Look at him!
That's mine!
My man!
Mine!
"I'm leaving mother," She tells again, "and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
Yes, that's right.
Let it sink in.
I'm not your possession.
She takes his hand and turns to leave.
"Pansy! Don't be a fool!"
"Trust me! This is the least fool I've been all my life"
.
.
In the stories of war victory is always about fest and celebrations.
In real life it's about surviving
And funerals
Funerals of young people who shouldn't have died.
Funerals of parents who'll never see their children grow.
And of children who will never see the world they fought to create.
Fuckig morbid.
She doesn't have to go.
She barely knew most of the dead.
Their deaths, however tragic, don't burden her personally.
But they concern him.
So she goes to each and every one.
Holds his hand listening to people speak pretty words that don't take away the fact the individual is gone.
Day after day
Puts on black heels
And modest black dresses
With green and silver details.
Lifts her chin and ignores the stares at her back.
Yes I'm here!
Yes I'm Slytherin
Yes I was what I was
And I did what I did.
Yes my father is in prison because he fought on the opposite side.
No, I do not care!
Neville seems to appreciate her effort.
He's always close.
Holding her hand
Or standing beside her, his hand in the small of her back.
If someone tries to question why she's there, he cuts them short telling everyone she's with him.
I'm not used to someone being so proud of me.
Someone standing by me so steadily.
Because they want to, not because of appearances.
Sometimes it makes me feel things I can't put names to.
Like vulnerable
And powerful at the same time.
I'm sure I shouldn't like it… but somehow I do.
Blaise and Theo join them mostly.
There are some occasions they feel they have no right to attend.
But she goes anyway.
Because he might need her.
Augusta Longbottom does not appreciate her effort.
Does not appreciate her.
She does try to hide it.
Something mother would never do.
But maybe she forgets I'm a pureblood heiress
I was raised in a world full of pretending
I was taught to wear that same pleasant facade.
Don't try me Mrs Longbottom!
I'm every bit as good in this game as you are.
When Neville is around Augusta mostly ignores her.
But about two seconds after he goes to greet the Creevy family she strikes.
"How did you end up with my Grandson Miss Parkinson?"
He told you how we came together.
Not the real story about scars
But about us coming to them last year.
Switching sides
Or whatever that was.
Somehow I think it's not the story you expect to hear.
"You are a Slytherin, yes? And your family is known about their connections to the Dark Lord."
"Yes, mainly my father."
Okay, let's get it over with.
Say what you want to say.
"Surely a pureblood heiress like you would have a suitor ready?"
"Oh, I did. I was betrothed to Corban Yaxley."
Yaxley the Death Eater, yes!
Come on Augusta, get it out.
I already know what it is for certain.
"He's imprisoned now I assume. Who would fit you better than a recent war hero?"
Absolutely
You think I'm here with him because it's a good move.
You people are so predictable.
"That's right."
"Moreover a war hero from an old line of pure blood? Soft enough to believe the lie you told him?"
You underestimate him.
I do not like that!
He would never have let me take advantage of him.
He would never have stayed if not the scars.
I would not be here if there was any doubt of my motives.
He's smarter than that!
I, too, used to be underestimated by everyone.
I know how it looks like.
I know what it feels like…
And it's not right!
"And what lie might that be?"
The older lady huffs, "Why would a girl like you concern herself with a boy like him?"
Excuse my French Mrs Longbottom
But fuck you!
Fuck you for not having a single ounce of respect towards his own judgment.
"I'm not sure what you mean by 'girl like me' or 'boy like him' "
"Don't play that act on me dear. You know exactly what I mean." She leans a little closer, "and I'll make sure whatever you're planning will be cut short. So you'd be wise to back off."
Or what?
You think half-finished threats will work?
You think I get scared and run away that easily?
The Light side has made you soft, old lady.
She smiles sweetly, "Go on Mrs. Longbottom, Try to keep us from each other. Tell him to get away from me. I'd love to see how that works out."
She walks away
Heels clicking as she goes.
The stare of the old witch burning holes to her back.
Watch me now!
I'm the future of your line.
One day I'll take your place
And I'll handle it just as well as you do.
Neville is not your son.
He's his own man.
And I'm not Alice Longbottom
I'm not nice
Or kind
Or brave
Or soft.
But I'm me
My own woman
Sincerely
Proudly.
And I'll stand by him in whatever will be thrown at us.
Watch me!
.
.
"We don't have to do this today."
I know
But I want to
"It's not like they understand what's going on."
Breathe Pansy!
Breathe!
You can do it.
For him!
He has done so much for you already!
You can do this for him!
But I've never even been to a hospital
I've never seen any curse victims
I've never had to face the reality of the unforgivables.
Selfish
Privileged
Pampered
"Pansy?"
"What?" She snaps too fast
His fingers squeeze hers a little.
"I appreciate what you're doing here, but we can try another day."
"No. They're your parents and you're my man."
He blushes fiercely.
It might be too soon
But I like the way calling you mine sounds on my tongue.
I like what it does to you
And the fact that it's true.
You're stuck with me.
In they go.
I do not like hospitals
Not the sanitary smell
Or the echo of our steps
Or the white walls
Imagine spending year after year in here.
"Here."
Alice and Frank Longbottom
And the room that's been their home as long as he can remember.
She blinks.
Calm
Collected
That's right, breathe.
Conceal.
He does not deserve you having a breakdown in here.
Neville lays his hand on her back.
"Mom, dad, This is Pansy Parkinson."
No one reacts.
Frank is tapping a table
And Alice sits on her bed turning a candy wrapper in her hand.
What did I expect?
This is far worse.
"The war is over. We won." His voice fades a little. "I fought…"
"Your son is a hero." She declares, looking straight at Frank, "He pulled the sword of Gryffindor out of the sorting hat. He made the last defining move to make it possible to kill Voldemort."
Then she walks to stand next to Alice's bed, "That's your son, a war hero." She says softly nodding towards Neville.
Before today words soft and Pansy did not belong in the same sentence.
But before today I had not met his mother.
"He is exceptional, strong and brave."
The woman, with sad hazy eyes and dirty blonde hair with hints of grey, turns to look at her.
And she puts her hand on top of hers.
I'm sure you'd be proud of him.
"Don't worry." She whispers, "I'll do my best, I promise. I'll love him for all of you."
Ice Queens don't cry.
"He's so good. So kind…" She looks down at her hand in Alice's small one, "And by some weird coincidence he's my soulmate. I never did anything to deserve him."
She turns to look at Neville still standing by the door. Looking at them with a sad smile and wet eyes.
How did I ever end up here?
"I'm probably not the woman you would have chosen for him. But I'll do my best to be the woman he needs. The woman he deserves."
Is this me speaking?
What are these words?
Where is this softness coming form?
Slowly
Like in a dream
Alice lifts her hand on her cheek
She can't hold back the tears rolling free.
"He's my soulmate. I share his scars. His magic chose me. I'll be there for him, I'll do my best, I promise!"
I'll love him whole!
I will!
Everything that ever hurt him!
I have no idea how!
I've never been loved
I've never loved
But I'll learn!
For him I'll learn!
The woman
His mother
Who he never knew
Now looks at her straight in the eyes.
And she matches her gaze.
Looking back at the face that is somehow familiar.
The small hand still on her cheek feels warm.
Tears keep falling.
Fuck
This is…
I can't…
It's too much!
So unfair!
Bullshit.
I can't!
"I'm sorry." She stands up.
Her hands are shaking.
I can't breathe!
She turns and dashes out the room.
Past him before he can stop her.
Out!
I have to get the fuck out!
She runs along the white corridors.
Tries to keep the smell of hospital from feeding her panic further.
Coward!
This is his reality!
His life!
You fucking spoiled rich brat have no right to have a panic attack in front of him!
She stops on the street outside the main doors. Sits on the pavement and puts her head on her hands.
And then she cries.
Wails
Sobs wrecking through her body.
For all the times she kept it all in.
All the times she ignored the pain
All the times she wished there was someone out there who'd just hold her.
All the times she stood outside mother's door and hoped for emotional support.
All the times she held Draco in his misery and then sat on her own bed and tried to collect herself.
Warm figure sits next to her.
Strong arms pull her close.
She buries her face into his chest.
He doesn't say a word.
But he holds her.
And that's all she needs.
"We shouldn't have come here."
"No!" She shakes her head against him, "No, we absolutely should!"
"You did good."
Oh love, you don't have to say that!
She laughs wetly, "Yeah, absolutely brilliant, breaking down like this."
He even smiles at her sadly.
"I'm sorry to be such a wuss."
"You weren't! I heard what you told her… I heard what you promised."
Pretty words before breakdown!
You should be upset I couldn't keep it together.
"Pansy!" He touches her jaw lightly with his finger to make her look at him, "I appreciate what you did there. I… I know feelings aren't easy for you."
Well that's an understatement of the year..
I hate how they strip the control from me..
"You don't always have to stay strong."
"That's the only way I know of. That's how I've survived!"
"I know. Just wanted you to know… it's okay."
I love you
The words are there,
On the tip of her tongue.
He deserves to hear them.
But how can I know it's real?
How can I know it's true?
How can I be sure?
I need to be sure to say it!
Absolutely certain…
But she's not and the declaration has to wait for a better day.
.
.
"Granger."
She spins around so fast she almost tumbles over.
Woah, take it easy I'm not going to attack you!
"Pansy." The Golden Girls nods.
"I'm not stupid you know."
You probably don't…
Or you probably think I'm.
And okay, maybe I have been.
But not about this.
Granger has grossed her arms.
"Look, Draco is my best friend. Has been since we were little kids. Don't you think I deserve to know that he is okay?"
The other girl just lifts her eyebrows.
"I know you know where he is."
"Shh!" Granger hisses fiercely, "No one else does."
"Your friends?"
Granger shakes her head.
"You have his mark and you've kept it to yourself?"
"That's right."
"Why? Because you're ashamed of him?"
Anger rolls inside her like an avalanche, gaining speed with the fall.
"No" Ganger almost spits the word out, "No, I… you think I'd be able to keep him safe if everyone knew?"
"You want to keep him safe?"
Well, seems like you can surprise me after all.
"He doesn't deserve prison!"
"That we can agree on. So where is he?"
Granger snaps her mouth shut.
It's not me you should be worried about!
It's not me who'd sell him out.
She huffs, "tell me he's safe at least?"
"He is"
You have no idea how relieved that makes me.
But why do you still look at me like I'm the enemy?
Hasn't Draco told you enough?
You'd think I'd be here, walking, if I was fake?
"And sane?"
Granger nods again, "He is."
"And you'll keep him like that? Safe and sane?"
"I'll do my best."
And I believe you.
No matter the past behind us.
Make sure you're worth my trust.
He's my best friend, Merlin help you if you hurt him.
"You think you can keep him out of prison?"
"I don't think. I know I can!"
This is why you're the best thing that ever happened to Draco.
This determination and devotion.
He's not an easy person.
Trust me I know.
But then again as far as I know neither are you.
"Pansy," She says silently, "I didn't tell anyone because I thought - still think - it's best for him. But I'm not keeping it any longer than necessary. I'm not sorry for this bond we share."
I envy you for that Granger.
For that certainty.
For the bravery to face what is tossed ahead of us.
For the ability to look past everything that ever went on between you two.
Neville has that too
But he's a much nicer person than you are.
He can forgive because of what feels right
But you need logic.
"And he? Is he sorry?"
"I… I don't think so."
"Don't think. Know!" She smirks, "He isn't. I know him. He might act like he is -was. But it was never true."
"I'm sorry I'm keeping him from you. And Nott and Zabini. It took me long enough to figure he's actually worried about you."
"As long as he's safe."
As long as you believe in him
As long as you're even willing to understand.
As long as you make sure he's okay.
Granger begins to leave.
"He cares about you."
Yes, I'm speaking for him.
But you have no idea how long I've watched him suffer.
No idea how hopeless I've been because of him.
And he's stubborn as hell.
So I'm going to make sure you won't give up on him.
"He might act like he's indifferent… and rude."
The other girl huffs amusingly.
"But he's not. I've seen how he reacts when he feels you're in danger."
He cares about you Granger!
He hated you
Because he cared so much.
Please be good to him!
"I appreciate what you're doing here Pansy."
She pauses, "And I believe you"
I'm loosing my touch.
I think we all are.
Starting to think these Gryffindors as people.
As friends?
No!
Too soon.
Way too soon to go that far.
"I mean you're Neville's soulmate! He's the kindest, truest person I know. It has to say something about you too."
Yeah, I know.
Still trying to figure out what it is myself.
Granger goes.
And she thinks of Draco.
If I was asked who'd be his soulmate.
I would always have said it's her.
Ever since the first year.
.
.
The bathroom mirror only shows her upper body.
The curse marks have healed.
The bruises and the cuts are mostly only memories.
The scarlines on her chest and back only faint against her tanned skin.
Summer has treated them kindly.
Life after war is scar-free.
I'm going to do it.
She calls for him.
Gee Pansy, take it easy!
Your heart is running a marathon.
It's just him!
The odds are he's going to panic when he sees you.
Neville enters.
And she turns around.
"Pansy…"
His cheeks turn pink.
"Why are you...I thought you called me.'
Let the fun begin.
"I did."
Oh sweet innocent boy.
"But...but you...you're naked!"
She can't stop the laughter escaping her, "I'm not!"
She spreads her hands, "still wearing my bra and knickers, see?"
He doesn't look at her.
But keeps his eyes down, blushing.
You've slept in the same bed with me for weeks.
You've held me and kissed me.
You're always close.
And still you can't handle this.
She unhooks her bra
And pushes her knickers down her ankles.
"Now I'm naked."
"Pansy...I… What are you doing?"
"Thought I might take a shower."
I'm sorry I'm so evil.
But you're so sweet like this.
And I know you want me!
You can't hide it from me.
Not when we're this close.
"Maybe you'd join me?"
He swallows visibly.
"I...I…" He glimpses at her.
She smirks.
And takes a step closer.
"Neville. Look at me."
He closes his eyes briefly and then locks his gaze with her.
"I did not mean in the eyes."
Look at me.
I'm here
I'm offering
I'm yours…
His eyes glint, the blue in them has darkened.
You want me.
I want you to want me!
I want you to take me
Have me
Ravish me
"I'm just as virgin as you are."
He laughs nervously, "No, you're not."
"It's just a shower."
"You know it's not."
How much do I argue before giving in?
Do you want me to give in?
She takes one more step to stand before him.
"I can't think when you're that close." he tilts his head to stare at the ceiling.
"Do you want me to quit?"
Tell me to stop and I will.
I can give you time.
I'm capable of self-control.
But please don't make me.
He closes his eyes again. But the words don't come.
What if I just…
She lifts her hand and opens the first button of his shirt with her fingers.
"Tell me to stop?"
Don't!
Please don't!
He draws deep breaths as another button opens.
Her fingers do tremble a little.
I've done things.
But never with someone like this.
Never with so much emotional attachment
His shirt is open.
She runs her hand on his bare trunk.
Fit
And broad.
And perfect.
The shirt falls to the ground.
He lowers his head and meets her eyes as her hand reaches his waistband.
"Tell me to stop and I will."
His cheeks are still red and his eyes hazed.
"What if I don't know what I'm doing?"
"You do."
His fly opens under her hands.
"Just trust yourself. I'll tell you if there's something I'm not comfortable with, okay?"
Her lips hover close to his as he nods.
"Do the same for me?"
His inhale shudders as he nods again.
She kisses him,
And with a swift movement drops his trousers.
Maybe he intended the kiss to be soft.
But the intention changes halfway.
It's almost like an exhale after holding your breath.
A fusion against each other.
Force
And lust there never was before.
I felt the desire
But not the passion.
Not the need
The burning fire.
She loves the moments he gives in.
When his courage takes over the doubt.
When he trusts himself with her.
They kiss until breathless
His hands on her naked hips
And hers roaming his body.
"I thought you were going to take a shower?" He whispers breathlessly.
"I was." and then she shoves him under the shower and jabs the water on.
"Fuck! It's freezing!"
"I thought you might use some cooling down."
He growls.
Actually growls! And pulls her under with him.
She shrieks and laughs as wet lips crush back on hers.
From then on it can not be called taking a shower.
Fingers sliding along skin drawing the path of falling waterdrops.
Lips following their trails
Hot on damp surface.
His heartbeat under her fingertips
Like an echo of her own.
Finally he looks at her
And not just in the eyes.
Smiles at her shyly
And is just so fucking adorable she thinks she's going to burst!
I love you
I love you
You know that right?
Somewhere in between touch and feel
They end up leaving the shower.
She finds herself in the bed
Tangling her hands to the sheets
And his breath hot on her skin.
Doubt and insecurity and second questing have no room here.
Her fingers find his hair
And she drags him to her.
Pulls him on her.
Wraps her legs around him.
Claws her nails to his backside.
He bites down on her shoulder.
Muttering words that don't need to be documented.
Closer
More
Yes
Yes yes yes
I'm yours
Please
Pleasepleaseplease
A path
Line after line
Caress and kiss and bite
Every missing piece finding its place for one glorious moment.
Like water flowing against the shore,
their movements match together.
Like fire tangling to wooden beams
They wrap around each other.
If I should die this moment
I wouldn't care
At least I'd die knowing what it is to be loved unconditionally.
At least I'd know how it feels to belong.
"I love you." He whispers to her hair afterwards
before falling asleep.
She lifts herself up on her elbows.
Travels her finger along his face.
How did I get this damn lucky?
"Neville."
He opens his eyes and smiles at her.
Get a grip Pansy!
It's all great I've found this softer side of me
But enough is enough!
But he deserves to hear it!
And I'm absolutely sure!
"I've no idea what it means, But I think I love you too."