Tyrion I:
"Seven hells, another headache. I really ought to stop drinking, shouldn't I. It can't be worth suffering through these terrible mornings can't it. Oh wait, it can." I say smiling sardonically as I pour myself a glass of wine from a pitcher in my room. "A toast, to every drunkard dwarf in the world!" and I gulped the whole glass down. Dornish Red I think. One of my favorites. Certainly better than what they make down in the Arbor. Too bad my father did what he did, if not I would be drowning in wine and women in Dorne. That would be the life, wouldn't it. Well, I should probably get out and make some rounds throughout the castle. Who knows what new secrets the Red Keep will reveal today?
I quickly got dressed and went out. I decided I wanted to see my niece and nephew (the younger one). They were always good company, very sweet children, completely unlike their mother or gods be good Joffrey. That right there was epitome of a prick. Woe to the 6 kingdoms once he became King. I got to my nephews chambers and saw Ser Meryn Trant standing in front of it.
"Hello Ser Meryn, could you please tell my nephew that I wish to speak with him?" I asked, nicely.
"Do it yourself, Dwarf." he sneered at me.
I smiled. "Of course good Ser, it must be incredibly hard standing around a door all day, of course you can't do something as simple as announcing me. Thank god my nephew has man of such skill guarding him!" I smiled mockingly with a half bow. Seeing he wasn't going to entertain me anymore, I went up to the door and knocked.
"Tommen may I come in? Its your uncle Tyrion."
"Uncle! Of course come in. Myrcella is here too." he answered. I entered and was rapidly assaulted with hugs from both of them.
"Uncle!" both of them shouted as they hugged me.
"Have you heard the news about the Tyrells Uncle?" asked Myrcella, a knowing look on her face. Suddenly I was confused.
"No, what happened niece?" I asked, perplexed.
"The lady Margeary has just been betrothed to the King in the North, Jon Stark. Joffrey got furious once he heard the news and mother looked like she sucked on a sour lemon." she answered.
"Oh my." I answered.
Oh my indeed. This was huge. This was ginormous. It had been hundreds of years since the King in the North had married a southern lady, and this wasn't just any southern lady, but the daughter of the second most powerful House in the South. What would happen due to this, I didn't know, but it certainly didn't spell well for House Lannister. Myrcella looked worried at my expression and asked:
"What do you think of this Uncle?"
"I think, I need a drink niece. Tommen, why don't you go to your mother and tell her I'll see her soon."
"Ok Uncle!" he nodded and ran off to find his mother. Tommen was a sweet child, only 9 years old. He, like both his siblings, had the classic Lannister blonde hair. Myrcella was four and ten, only two years younger than Joffrey, the little prick. She already had a mind for politics, not unlike her grandfather, and dare I say me. Intelligent without the enormous Lannister pride present in her mother, she was a great conversationalist.I enjoyed these conversations with her when we talked on the events in the kingdoms. This would certainly prove interesting.
I poured me a glass of wine, and gulped it. Then I poured myself another one and drank half of it. "Now, Myrcella, tell me what do you think first."
"Why must you drink wine so often? It can't be good for you to drink so much." she said, sniffing.
"Its just wine, and I am a person who drinks. People who drink need to keep drinking." I said, my wisdom seemingly lost on her.
"Fine. I think that this alliance is dangerous. I do not know if the North knows of Joffrey's….. passion for the Faith, but he has certainly made his opinion on them clear. The fact that the Tyrells, the second most powerful house in the South after the Lannisters just allied with them sends a powerful message. Throughout this whole debacle, the fact that Willas Tyrell has been betrothed to Talla Tarly has been swept under the rug. With Alerie Hightower being the current lady of Highgarden and a Tarly to be the next one, plus the fact that they are cousins by blood to the Redwynes due to the Queen of Thorns, the Tyrells have the guaranteed loyalty of their three most powerful vassals. The remaining dissent in the Reach will either stamp itself out or be inconsequential should anything happen." she said, smiling but with a hint of worry.
"Do not forget the fact that the Lady Margeary was the top candidate to marry Joffrey. Now the crown has lost a powerful potential ally. Not to mention, the Tully's loyalty is not guaranteed. Do not forget that Eddard Stark's wife is a Tully by birth, and she has given house Stark 5 sons and daughters. I hope your brother is wise enough to avoid war with the North once he becomes King, because if not the Kingdom will bleed.
I was in front of Cersei's chambers, Ser Boros standing in front of the door. Unlike Ser Meryn, he was actually alright. Utterly incompetent of course, but not a bad person. He just stepped out of the way and I entered, unannounced.
"Sister! How are you today? Oh I so missed you!" I said loudly, a mocking smile in my face. She faced me, a furious look on her face.
"Why are you in here you little beast?" she sneered at me.
"Oh but to talk news. Haven't you heard the latest gossip?" I responded smiling mockingly.
"If you are here to talk about that Tyrell whore's wedding then I you might as well leave."
"But why? Isn't it just magnificent? The first and third most powerful houses in Westeros allying themselves."
She sneered at me again. "House Lannister is the most powerful house in Westeros. Where is your pride as a Lion?" she asked me, pride rolling off of her.
I rolled my eyes. "You were always the stupidest Lannister. Not even our dear father believes that. Now I ask you, what are we to do now? Who is Joffrey to marry?"
"Joffrey's marriage is not important right now. In the future, he will marry someone worthy of him, maybe a Lannister cousin. Should the worst come to pass, he'll just marry Stannis's disfigured daughter just to put some babes in her. I would've never allowed him to marry those up-jumped stewards anyways. To think, they'll be selling their daughter to a bunch of barbarians!" she finished with a laugh.
I looked at her, face blank. Then a small smirk came up to my face. I wiped it from my face. Then another one came up, a bit bigger this time. I wiped it off as well. I looked up at Cersei. She had an expectant look on her face. I just couldn't help it.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA." I bellowed out. She had a furious look on her face, which just made me laugh harder. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." I finished, my stomach hurting from how hard I had laughed. "I cannot believe you honestly said that. A Lannister cousin? Like we don't have enough Lannisters in the capital, not to mention there would be no purpose it. And you really think STANNIS will allow his only daughter to marry that madman you call your son?" I asked incredulously.
"He will do his duty as shall his daughter should it come to it. And MY SON is no madman. He just has a certain passion for the Faith." she answered.
"He is Baelor the Blessed mixed with Maegor the Cruel. How you don't see it I don't know." I shot back.
"He is not cruel, he is strong. A strong future king. Something you would be wise to remember. And if his piousness bothers you so much, blame Robert and Jon Arryn, not me." At that I stayed in silence for a bit.
Joffrey had killed a pregnant cat and opened its belly when he was just seven years old. After several more reprehensible actions (beating a servant boy half to death for no apparent reason, having a peasant who walked too close to him killed and numerous other more acts), at age ten Robert gave up on him as an heir and decided to disinherit him. Before it was declared Cersei begged Robert to give Joffrey one last chance, where Jon Arryn, being a pious man himself, suggested Joffrey be fostered in the Great Sept of Baelor with the High Septon. I imagine this must have been done to curb his sadistic tendencies, and prevent his father's lecherous ones. Whatever the reason, it was done.
Now instead of a spoilt sadistic boy who hid behind his mother's skirts, Joffrey was a delusional fool who genuinely thought he was the Warrior reborn, here in Westeros to finish spreading the Seven and destroy the Old Gods. He really didn't care much about the rest of the values preached by Septons. He was still cruel, but only to those he considered "heathens." Frankly put, he was a zealot, and a zealot for a future King was a dangerous thing. To be honest, I think he was also jealous of the Starks, and the power they welt.
To be fair, even with all these things, the fostering did have some positive effects on him. At six and ten, he now practiced with the sword, and was a rather good warrior. He didn't have the strength to use a warhammer, he was too slim for that, but he could dance around most opponents with ease, skill which he must have inherited from his father.
"You know he will be furious about this, don't you?" I told her seriously.
She sighed. "Of course he will be, but he will deal with it."
"I hope he does sister. I hope he does."
I was walking back to my chambers to retire for the day. I was excited too. I had just finished speaking with Lord Baelish and he had guaranteed me three whores for the night. I had asked him of his opinion on what was happening, and all he did was smirk and tell me that it was "interesting", whatever that meant. At least he would be providing me with entertainment later on in the day,. What was truly interesting was Vary's reaction to me when I asked him what he thought.
I had just finished drinking with the Greyjoy boy, and what a poor sight he was, even compared to me, when I crossed paths with the infamous Spider. I smelt him first, his disgustingly powerful perfume assaulting my senses as I saw him a couple of paces in front of me. He looked worried, something which caught me by surprise, and was sweating, probably from going to and from various places to receive his "little birds" reports from the North. I caught up to him and quickly asked him what he thought on what was happening up North and was surprised by his response.
"That shit again!" he exclaimed angrily. I looked up to him confused. Never had I seen him react to something in this manner. He sighed, calming himself down. "I'm sorry my friend, it has been a long day. The news just got here I'm afraid, and thus I've been running around all day to find out everything I can on the current situation in the North. It's been a difficult day." he said, smiling tiredly.
Somehow I had the feeling that he wasn't angry at being overworked, but something else, but frankly by this point in the day I was too drunk to care. I nodded at him and excused myself to my chambers, where the three whores were already waiting. I smirked, it was good to be a Lannister.
Author's Note:
Sup guys. Hope you guys liked this chapter. I tried to drop a few hints at future plot points and I tried to get Tyrion's personality right. Hopefully I did a good job. As always, thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you can, I really appreciate them!