Chapter 34. Autonomy

Being mates turned out not to be half as fantastic as they found it to be that first night. Sure, the carnal had been taken to a whole different level and since that was what they loved doing best, it was an improvement, but there was a downside to sharing absolutely everything with someone. Apart from the disturbing trip down memory lane there were other, more structurally present discomforts.

Vegeta fell victim to his mate's temper and found himself trashing through rooms in rage, slumping down somewhere faint or steeling around murderously more often than he cared for. At times he couldn't even distinguish whether these feelings were his own or not. Was it his own anger that made him punch holes in the walls of one of the training chambers or did this fury come from Akane's foul temper, where ever she might have been holding up at that moment? Was he the one feeling so damn nauseous or was it his little mate?

It was wearisome at any rate that her feelings could simply get the better of him and that all he could do was act on them regardless of the time and place it happened in. This had caused quite some painful situations, like when he had been training Piccolo inside the Namekian's personal chamber. It started with a giddy feeling, something Vegeta was beginning to grow accustomed to, and then the usual waves of nausea. These were definitely Akane's feelings kicking in again and realizing that, Vegeta braced himself for the now well known pregnancy malaise.

Little did he know that while he was occupied with fighting his gag reflex, the surrounding world continued its goings on as ever and it was only after a guttural remark from his sparring partner that Vegeta came to notice that he had been standing frozen and hunched over for minutes cursing under his breath. The look on Piccolo's face would have been priceless if it wasn't for the fact that his befuddlement was directed towards Vegeta and his ridiculous behaviour. As if that wasn't bad enough the green warrior took it to heart and set out to give him some well meant advice.

"There is something off with you lately." Piccolo stated matter-of-factly.

"Not with me... Her." Vegeta sort of panted.

The frown on Piccolo's green face deepened. "Right. I reckon you're off playing with unicorns again. Maybe you'd prefer to resume our training later then?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Vegeta snapped. He swallowed hard. "She is ill you know... from the babe in her belly. What? You think I'm mad or something? This is because of that cursed bond. It's..." Vegeta's voice trailed off as soon as he saw in Piccolo's face that the man indeed suspected Vegeta had gone batshit. "Oh forget it, you wouldn't understand anyway."

"I think you might need to have your head examined." Piccolo said gravely and, ignoring Vegeta's cry of utter disdain, continued: "I mean, come on. You're standing here talking to yourself again and in all honesty, you have been looking like hell lately."

Vegeta straightened up and eyed the other warrior scowling. "And I gather you're considered a real dish."

Piccolo's smirked wickedly. "There's no reason to become offensive, I'm just calling them as I see them. So if you're not losing your marbles, what exactly is wrong with you?"

"There is nothing wrong with me. This bond with Akane, it's kind of overwhelming sometimes, that's all. Now do we spar or do you want to stand here blathering like weak-hearted Earthlings all day?"

And that had been it, not one more words had been wasted on the matter. Luckily Piccolo seemed satisfied with this incomplete explanation and never asked Vegeta about his strange behaviour again. The green warrior seemed to blame it all on some weird Saiyajin thing he would never come around to understanding.

Vegeta didn't forget their little chat, nor did he leave it there. Something had to be done about all this constant sharing he was doing with his mate. It was fucking with his composure and being the Prince he needed to appear strong, collected and above all sane at all times. That tallied up with his general abhorrence for such an open display of emotions, he decided that he simply couldn't allow this to go any further. It was utterly disgraceful.

Of course this was easier said than done. How could he stop sharing with his mate? It was not like he could turn off a switch somewhere in his head to simply block her out when he didn't feel like having her around. Was there even a defense against this bond? Should he even be wanting a defense against their bond? Had he made a mistake by taking her as his mate? He didn't want to admit it, but lately he had been troubled by that very question. He usually dismissed it with the explanation that he simply needed to get used to this kind of union, but he wasn't too sure about that anymore. He didn't think he would ever get used to a bond like this. It was just too bleeding exhausting to be having all his own thoughts and feelings demanding attention and his mate's thoughts and feelings piled on top of those. And she never turned off. There was always something plagueing her mind. She always found something to get riled up over.

What use could there possibly be in sharing everything anyway? It couldn't be healthy, of that much he was certain. He knew these thoughts were hurting his little mate. Ironically enough he could feel her hurt through their bond as if it was his own. Who knew, perhaps his own thoughts did hurt him as well. It wasn't that he didn't like being this close to her or share feelings with her. More the opposite. Since their bond his adoration for her had only grown, but he had always been and always would be someone who appreciated solitude and that was impossible when there was someone else tagging along inside all the time. He just longed to be alone in his own bleeding head sometimes.

Still mulling this over and growing more agitated with the second, Vegeta entered their bed chamber where Akane sat on the bed cross-legged in nothing but her radiant tanned skin. She was eating an apple and humming some song he very vaguely remembered from his childhood, all the while tapping a hand onto her steadily growing belly. It was quite unlike her savage self, proof that since her pregnancy his little mate was mostly ruled by her hormones. When she looked up at him he didn't need their bond to tell him how the irritated look on his face aggravated her.

Instantly she invaded his head and steamrolled him and again all he could do was let her wash over him. He felt a devastating amount of anger and through that seeped something that came close to hurt. Now her thoughts bubbled up inside his head and they wouldn't be chased away by anything Vegeta threw at them.

'Well, he's seen his arse again. If I didn't love him this much I would've blown him to fucking bits right where he stood.'

Vegeta snickered despite himself. At least she couldn't keep her love for him a secret anymore. That had been torture. He wouldn't want to go back to that for anything, not even for a secluded spot in his own mind. He should try to focus more on the pros of this bond, no matter how hard that was.

Vegeta wrestled with himself for a while. Her presence within him seemed to retreat to the background again. He could still feel and hear her buzzing in the distance though, he was never fully without her anymore. Yet there was one thing that succeeded in grabbing all of his attention and chased away everything else and he was both amazed and liberated when he found himself growing absorbed with the gentle swell of her abdomen while she sat there. Her belly was really starting to protrude now and it was very appealing to him. Her breasts had grown heavier as well, those small pink nipples bigger and darker, their perfection a treat to his eyes. Her swelling body was a feast of abundance, a proclamation of the glory of life. It made his lob on a very sudden one.

The spell was broken as more of his little mate's thoughts drifted up inside him. 'Come give me that fat chopper.'

It was all the encouragement Vegeta needed and when he started through the room towards her she finally spoke out loud with that arousing hoarse voice: "I am going to eat you up."

Vegeta smiled and dove onto the bed with her, or rather on top of her. They haggled for a bit until he had her satisfactorily positioned in his lap, sighing in enjoyment when she started to put her hot little kisses on his ear and neck. He eased up, letting himself drift on these waves of excitement. It came unexpected when she halted halfway down his neck suddenly. To his dismay her previous aggravation resurfaced.

'Why was he getting on my tits again?' he heard her question herself.

It was the final straw and Vegeta was unable to stop himself from flying of the handle.

"Fucking hell, Akane! Could you turn yourself off for one bleeding second? You just go on and on! I don't understand why you haven't gone completely mental over the years because I sure am about ready to lose my shit!" he shouted as he threw her out of his lap.

Akane cried out and steadied herself on the edge of the bed looking at him as though he was the most disgusting, vile thing she had ever laid eyes on.

"Fuck you! You think you're so easy to live with? Frankly I am sick of all these cunting doubts you keep throwing at me. You're all over the place!"

Vegeta was lost for words. Had he, throughout this whole ordeal, even once considered that she might be going through the same thing? That he was as much of a burden to her as she was to him?

"That's right. You're a bleeding cunt-ache so stop your pathetic whining and start dealing with it like I do." Akane snarled in reply to his thoughts.

Vegeta just sat there, probably looking at her like a complete idiot. How did she deal with this?

Akane's face softened and she scooted closer to speak in her hoarsest voice: "Now, since we agree that it is about the only good thing that came with our bond, let's just shut up and have a nice long fuck."

Vegeta fell back on the bed wearily and muttered: "I can't be arsed with that now."

"You just pounced me. Come on, ugly."

Vegeta slapped away the hand she reached out to grab his hair. "I'm too bleeding tired! I just want to go to sleep so I can get the fuck away for a moment."

"Oh well that's nice." Akane backed away put off.

"I am done." Vegeta spat back. "I'm beginning to think this whole bonding thing was a mistake."

He regretted it the moment he said it and the hurt that went through their bond made him want to break down in a blubbering heap.

Akane scooted to the edge of the bed ready to leave him with his wretched self, all the while cursing him out with every foul word in her vocabulary, which were far more than she had time to mutter under her breath.

"No don't do that, little one." Vegeta snatched her by the aggravated tail that was whipping furiously behind her and dragged her back no matter how she was snarling and clawing the bed to get away.

This last was done with enough vehemence to rip up the covers and in spite of everything it amused him. He pulled her down alongside him and brushed a few strands of dark hair out of her sneering face.

"Forgive me. I didn't mean that."

Her eyes were as impassive as always but hurt continued to flow through their link as she growled up at him, threatening and malicious like only she could be. "I ought to rip off your balls and shove them up your kackpipe."

Vegeta couldn't even feel offended. "I guess I deserved that for hurting you."

The murderous conduct left her and she reached out to tug his hair affectionately, though rough as always. "You re the one that is hurt."

"Stop. You know hiding is not going to work now that we're bonded. I hurt you and I'm sorry."

"You said our bond was a mistake, of course that hurts." Akane finally admitted with clear reluctance. "I don't like the way things are between us any more than you do, but I accept it. I didn't choose to be with you for nothing. This was what I wanted. It pains me that you are so often in doubt of our bond because I haven't doubted it for a second, no matter how you were driving me up the fucking wall."

"It has nothing to do with you, Akane. I want to be with you, I want to be bonded with you…" Vegeta growled deep in his throat. "But not like this. It is too much. You do agree with me on that?"

Akane nodded. "It's madness."

Relieved that they were at least on the same page regarding this, Vegeta kissed the scar aside her little mouth. "I don't believe it was meant to be this way. Half the people of Vegetasei would've been nutters if this is the way a bond works."

"We'll figure it out somehow." Akane reassured him softly. "And you are hurt, you know. You feel guilty about leaving your children."

He did indeed. "It will work out with my son. But Bra... She is too young to understand. She might forget all about me. Probably grows up thinking that weakling is her father."

"Well, that's up to you." Akane pointed out frankly. "You can always visit her with Kakarot's help."

"Great, ask the idiot for more favours." Vegeta sighed and spread out his fingers across the gentle swell of his little mate's abdomen, feeling the tiny life frolicking about mirthfully beneath it. He started to aimlessly trace patterns onto her skin and maundered: "Still, the woman might not be so cooperative next time. It's just a bleeding mess, isn't it? I hate that fucking planet."

"She can't possibly keep you from seeing your daughter." Akane's slender fingers joined his on her belly, those neat white half moons caressing the back of his hand. "And if she does, I will go there myself to sort that cunt out. I have some scores to settle with her anyway."

Vegeta observed that scar in the corner of her small mouth twitch as she sneered in savage delight at the prospect of getting her hands on the woman. Even if the violence in her appealed to him, it did not regarding this subject. And she knew that too. "You gave me your word."

The pleasant caresses on the back of his hand turned into a forceful scrabbling that made him lace his fingers with hers to subdue those mean little claws.

Her aggression was blatant in every fibre of her when she hissed: "There is no need to remind me. I stick to my promises." she bared her teeth and added: "Unfortunately."

Vegeta snickered. "Do you have any idea how unnerving you are?"

A self-satisfied grin chased away her scowl and she slipped her free hand down his spandex to find him much excited by her malice. "You like me that way. I have some aggression to work through. Are you up for that, ugly?"

Vegeta gathered her gorgeous body in his arms with a wicked smirk. "Always."