The sun rises, and the day begins for Shuichi Saihara as normally as he could have hoped for.

He's thankful to find that he is still firmly entrenched within the confines of his bed as he hears the familiar chime of his alarm. A few nasty instances in the past couple of months have seen him roll straight out of his bed and onto the hardwood floor beneath him, and the few lingering bumps and bruises are more than willing to remind him of it. This time, he's wrapped tightly within his comforter, and much to his relief, not currently sprawled in a jumbled mess on the ground. Slowly disentangling himself, he turns off the incessant noise and makes his way to the bathroom to begin his morning preparations.

A quick shower is first. There's not much to do—facial cleanse, body wash, then shampoo and conditioner—before he moves on, applying deodorant and a tiny spritz of cologne in between a thorough brushing of his teeth. Once he's suitably freshened up for the coming day, he puts on his uniform with the ease expected of a high school student, before briskly making his way downstairs for breakfast.

His guardians were waiting for him, and it's his dear aunt who gets to him first. "Good morning, Shuichi." She greets him with a smile behind a stove, making what looks to be eggs of some kind.

"Good morning, Aunt Ruka," Shuichi smiled back, taking a seat next to his uncle at the kotatsu. The patriarch of the house looks to be finishing up whatever's left on his plate, but he still finds the time to greet his nephew. "Hey there, Shu. Sleep okay?"

Shuichi hummed in acknowledgment. "Good morning, Uncle Mori. I didn't fall out of bed this time, at least."

"Oh, that's a relief," Aunt Ruka chimed in, delivering a plate of eggs and toast to the boy with a glass of orange juice. "It's been happening so frequently lately, I was thinking that we were going to have to buy a rail guard for your bed."

"That, or put you back in a crib," Uncle Mori says, not without a small smirk. A slap from his wife landed on his shoulder, but judging by the tiny smile on the woman's face, she seemed to have found his quip at least somewhat funny. Shuichi sighed—maybe he should have applied for a dorm room on campus after all.

A brief moment of silence follows the exchange of words, most of it filled with the sounds of eating. After a while, though, the older man puts his plate in the sink and grabs his coat. "Well, I'm off. I'll be back later for dinner. You be good today, alright Shuichi?"

"I will, Uncle Mori. Have a good day." One more nod from the man, and he's out the door. Shuichi turned to his other guardian. "Is he working on a case?"

"When is he not?" The man's wife sighed. "I think he started on an armed robbery case. They already caught the culprit, thank goodness, but they still need to sort out the details of the damages for the insurance companies."

Shuichi grimaced. The life of a detective was hardly glamorous to begin with, but dealing with the aftermath of a case was often the most grueling part of the job. Insurance companies were among the worst to deal with, if only due to how disagreeable they were when it came to damage reports and subsequent reimbursement claims. "Does he need any help?"

The woman shook her head. "If I'm remembering correctly, his exact words were, "I wouldn't wish insurance agency fallout on my worst enemy, much less my own nephew." I think he's pretty adamant on not getting you involved."

The detective-in-training thought he hid his disappointed reaction well enough, but the look of concern that etches across his aunt's face indicates otherwise. "Shuichi, I know you want to help your uncle, but I promise he has a good reason for keeping you out of it for now. You only just started high school—you should be enjoying your time as a kid, not solving burglary cases."

"I know, it's just..." Shuichi hesitated. "I don't want to feel like I'm freeloading off of you. I want to help out any way I can, and detective work is the best way I can do that, I think."

Haruka smiled. How had she been blessed with such a kind and selfless nephew? "And it makes me so happy to hear that you want to help us out. But we're at our happiest when we see you enjoying yourself, Shu. You'll have all the time in the world to do detective work when you're an adult. For now, why don't you just focus on your time as a high schooler?"

For as kind and understanding as she was, Shuichi so very badly wanted to dispute his aunt's claim—to tell her that he was at his happiest when he was doing detective work, and helping others solve their problems. Because, for all his time on this earth, the only time he ever felt genuinely useful was when he was solving cases; because it was likely the only thing he would ever be good for.

But he couldn't tell her that. Rather, he couldn't stomach the reaction she would give him if he admitted all that to her. He never wanted to wipe the kind smile off her face because of his own issues. It was his problem, and like his many cases of the past, it was up to him to solve it. So instead, he settled for a smile he hoped was at least halfway-genuine and prayed she wouldn't try to pry. "I... I got it. I'll try my best, Aunt Ruka."

He thought it would hurt if she called him out on his bluff, but he found it hurt even more when her smile brightened. "That's all I ask, Shuichi." She returned to washing the plates. "Now, hurry up and finish your breakfast. Wouldn't want to be late to the best school on the planet, would you?"

Heeding her advice, Shuichi scarfed down the rest of his breakfast, if only to distract himself from his own thoughts. The meal is gone in less than a minute, and with a small bit of haste, the teen finds and slips on his shoes while grabbing his bag, finally placing his familiar black cap atop his head. Turning back toward the kitchen, he calls out one last farewell. "I'm heading out, Aunt Ruka. I'll see you after school."

"Bye, dear! Have a great day! Oh, and tell Miu I said hi!" Shuichi doesn't catch the last part of the sentence, however, as he's already out of the door and onto the sidewalk, ready to begin his trek to school.

Well, he would have been, if it wasn't for the girl standing in his way.

The first thing Shuichi notices is the color pink. The girl's outfit, a uniform, only vaguely resembles his own, much more vibrant in color and make, in addition to being suited for the opposite gender. Though, there are some adornments that are decidedly not part of the issued uniform. Black chokers, similarly colored high-heeled boots, and perhaps the most elaborate series of garter belts known to man, complete with spikes and golden rings connected to knee-high white stockings.

And yet, nothing about the young woman's appearance phased the young detective. Neither do the words that promptly exit the girl's mouth upon making eye contact with him. "About time you got out here, moron. I was starting to think you'd decided to hole up in your room and wack it all day instead of going to school."

A sigh immediately escaped the boy's lips. "Good morning to you too, Miu." He began his walk in the direction of the academy, and his new companion immediately fell in step beside him.

"Sheesh, what's up with you?" Miu Iruma, Ultimate Inventor, scoffed. "You look like a horny gorilla just stole your anal virginity."

Barely fifteen seconds into seeing her and he was already getting a headache. That had to be a new record. "Miu, at least wait until we're in class before making those kinds of comments. Please."

Predictably, Miu didn't take the remark very well. "Fucking prude. You should be honored that I'm even willing to grace your existence with my overwhelming presence on your walk to school. There's plenty of things a beautiful genius like myself could be doing, but I'm choosing to spend my valuable time with you instead. Be grateful, peasant!" Shuichi sighed—it seemed Miu wasn't in the mood to listen to him. Then again, she hardly ever was.

Miu Iruma. Acclaimed inventor, renowned potty-mouth, and Shuichi's friend since adolescence. That their friendship had somehow lasted this long despite their vastly different personalities and extended separation from each other (until recently) spoke to the bond they shared—or rather, the lengths that Miu went to remind him that no matter what he did or where he went, he would never be able to escape her.

Somehow, they had both ended up being given the opportunity to attend Hope's Peak High School, in the same class no less. The chances of someone making it in to Hope's Peak in general were astronomically low, but the fact that two people who were previously acquainted with each other beforehand were also recognized for respective one-in-a-billion talents was practically a miracle (though, oddly enough, a miracle which also occurred in the class one year above them). Miu's skill with automations and her... creative application of mechanical theory was second to none, while Shuichi's supposed talent in the field of detective work was enough to grant him entry into the most well-regarded high school in the history of the human race.

Only, Shuichi felt that his childhood friend's admission was actually warranted considering her vast skill in her field, while he wasn't even sure of his own abilities. It didn't help that he was the second Ultimate Detective admitted into Hope's Peak, with the first being leagues above his own level in terms of skill, renown, and disposition. The disparity between them felt too wide to even try to imagine.

"Hey," Miu beckoned him back to the real world, though her tone was noticeably softer. "Why the fuck are you being so quiet? Did... did something happen?"

Was that concern in her tone? "N-No, it's nothing."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare fucking lie to me, Shuichi."

"I-I'm not lying, I swear!"

The girl's glare lingered on him, and with every second that passed Shuichi felt himself growing hotter and hotter under her gaze. After what felt like hours, she finally relented with a small huff. "Fine. If you wanna try to keep a secret from me, be my guest. I'll find out what it is eventually."

"More importantly," Her familiar grin returned, and just like that, her gears shifted. "I've got something to show you. Something that'll really get you all hot and bothered."

In Miu-speak, "hot and bothered" normally equated to "extremely detrimental to Shuichi's physical well-being." Shuichi seriously debated trying to run away from her, despite his infamously bad stamina. Unfortunately, knowing the girl's frightening tenacity when it came to showing off her newest creations, the young man figured it would be best to get it out of the way now as opposed to potentially subjecting some other poor soul to the girl's off-kilter inventions.

Suppressing the urge to groan, Shuichi relented. "Fine. Go ahead." With a glee similar to that of an eager child's, Miu rifled through her bag before pulling out what looked to be a toy gun.

"Oh Shuichi, you're gonna love this one." The enthusiasm on the girl's face looked nearly euphoric. "Go on, guess what it is! Guess what it is!"

The teen could probably guess that the invention's function was for less-than-morally-upstanding purposes, but for once, he wanted to give his longtime friend the benefit of the doubt. "Is it... a ray gun?"

Miu almost looked offended by his guess. "Are you fucking serious? Do I look like a hormonal twelve-year-old nerd who jacks off to sci-fi bullshit? No, it's not a fucking ray gun." Her attention returned to the invention in question. "No, this bad boy is much better than some basement-dwelling geek's dream weapon. This is my gift to humanity—my magnum opus!"

That didn't bode well for Shuichi—or anyone, for that matter. "Your... magnum opus?"

"It means great work in Greek or some shit. But that's not important!" The inventor started caressing the machine. "What is important is its function. You see, Shuichi, I conquered the very fabric of space with this creation of mine. I call it... the Goin' Commando Gun."

Shuichi almost stopped walking. "The... what?"

Miu seemed to pause for effect. "... the Goin' Commando Gun."

Shuichi felt his growing migraine nearly double in strength. "I'm afraid to ask, but... what does it do?"

The blonde positively beamed at him. "I'm so glad you asked, Shuichi! As I said before, this machine of mine has conquered the measly realm of space, and can instantly teleport any kind of undergarment you aim the gun at." Miu struck a pose. "Any piece of underwear can be yours with the mere squeeze of a trigger!"

While he certainly didn't doubt the girl's capabilities, bending the rules of space sounded far-fetched, even for her. "I'm sorry Miu, but I kind of find that hard to believe."

If she was offended before, she looked downright pissed now. "You dare to challenge the great Miu Iruma's inventing prowess? You fucking virgin, why don't you try it out for yourself, since you're so sure it won't work?"

That was an entirely different can of worms Shuichi didn't want to deal with. "Miu, I really don't want to use your... magnum opus, or whatever you called it."

"I'm not asking you to use it, I'm telling you to use it, you cock-gobbler."

"S-Seriously Miu, I—"

"Just fucking do it, Shuichi."

There was no winning with her. Just defeated acceptance. Grasping the invention she all but thrust into his hands, the teen gingerly held the contraption the same way one might have held a dead rat. "So... you just aim and squeeze the trigger?"

"That's right," the machine's creator confirmed. Miu then spread her arms and puffed out her chest with a confident smirk. "Since I'm feeling generous, I'll even let you try it out on my bra. Go on, don't be shy."

For the briefest of moments, Shuichi's hormones got the better of him, prompting him to spare a quick glance at the girl's admittedly sizable bust. Her growing smirk only made him feel that much more guilty after the fact. "I-I, uh... can I do something else?"

"Don't try and hide how you truly feel, Shuichi. I know you wanna see what keeps these gorgeous tits in check all day." She shot him a flirtatious wink. "Be a good boy and I'll even let you keep it." She seemed to revel in the blush that nearly threatened to invade his face.

"... F-Fine. Just this once. Then I'm done, okay? No more weird experiments."

"Sure, sure," Miu waved off disinterestedly. He couldn't blame her. Even he didn't believe he'd ever be rid of her incessant testing. Still, it was better than just catering to her every whim the second she ordered him to do something.

"Also, I'm not keeping your bra."

She shrugged. "Your loss, but I won't judge. Now quit screwing around and just do me already!"

Pointedly ignoring her last statement, Shuichi begrudgingly aimed the barrel of the colorful firearm at the girl's chest, taking care not to miss and unwillingly subject himself to even more of this madness. 'Then again, it's not like it's a small target,' he thought to himself, before shuddering in horror. 'I'm even starting to feed into her innuendos. Maybe I'm too far gone for redemption.'

With one last breath of finality, he squeezed the trigger. A beam of light shot from the barrel of the gun, connecting with the front of the girl's chest. A small but prevalent silhouette of light encompassed Miu's bosom, before a blinding light forced his eyes shut.

When he eventually opened them again, the light had fully subsided, and the gun was smoking slightly from the tip. However, there was one noticeable difference from before—atop of the gun's tiny mounted sight, a pink, lacy bra was hooked by the strap, falling along the right side of the gun.

"Woah!" Shuichi jumped slightly, in equal parts genuine awe and growing embarrassment. On one hand, she had actually proven her claim true and invented a machine that bypassed the established laws of matter and space, an incredible feat no matter how you sliced it. On the other, his childhood friend's bra was limply hanging just inches from where his right hand rested on the trigger. 'She really wears something that... risqué?'

"So?" Miu prompted, eager for an answer. "What do you think? Better than you expected?"

Shuichi couldn't lie—Miu's newest invention was indeed seriously impressive, if horribly impractical. Swallowing his shock and desperately trying to avert his eyes from the piece of fabric, he tried for a controlled answer. "Sure... I-I, uh... I guess it's a neat invention."

"I was talking about my bra size, but yeah, I guess you're right about that too."

How were they not at school by now? He didn't know how much longer he could do this. His nerves were running wild even before Miu willingly allowed him to see the top portion of her underwear.

Despite his racing pulse, the more analytical part of his mind was genuinely curious as to how she had managed to accomplish such a seemingly impossible goal, and how she planned on expanding her idea further. "S-So, um, what else can it do?"

Surprisingly, the Ultimate Inventor looked confused at his question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's cool that you can teleport underwear, but I'm assuming there's more to it than just that, right? What else can it move?"

Miu shook her head, and her strawberry blonde hair shook with her. "Nope, that's all it does. It can only move underwear. It can't teleport anything else."

Shuichi felt his heart drop. "... What?"

The pink-clad teen rolled her eyes. "Geez, you going deaf or something on me? I said that it can only transport underwear."

"Are... are you serious?"

Miu was starting to get annoyed. What was so hard to understand about this? "Well, duh. Why else would I name it the Goin' Commando Gun? It's because it makes you go commando, dumbass."

Was this real life, or was this some kind of elaborate nightmare of his that would result in his painful awakening on the floor of his bedroom? "Miu, you've figured out how to teleport matter through space. You've solved one of the greatest conundrums of the modern era."

If she recognized the fact at all, she didn't seem overly excited about it. "Yeah. So?" It almost felt like he was talking to a child with how he was explaining everything to her. "So, why are you applying this breakthrough solely on underwear?"

Another shrug. "'Cause I felt like it."

"But Miu, with technology like this, you could rewrite literally everything we know about modern science! You could advance humanity's technological standard by centuries!"

"But I don't want to advance humanity's technological standard by centuries," Miu shot back. "I want to teleport underwear."

Lost in their musings, they'd finally reached the school, though Shuichi wasn't all that keen on noticing. He instead opted to find the nearest bench and took a tentative seat, his pale features contorted in resignation. "This is it. I've finally gone insane, and this is my purgatory."

Miu slid on the bench next to him a close distance away, a careful eye on his person. "Aw, come on Shuichi, lighten up." He didn't respond, busying himself with rubbing his eyes. Miu's smile dropped, replaced with a concerned frown.

It was just... why? Why was she like this? He felt as though he had to actively spend every waking moment to try and prove that his talent was useful—that he belonged at Hope's Peak. Even then, it still didn't feel like enough. Meanwhile, she could use her bountiful talent to make whatever she wanted, even if it was stupid. Did she ever have to worry about what anyone else thought of her? What people might have said about her talent?

They sat there together for an indiscernible amount of time. Miu heard the sound of the morning bell ring across the campus. They were probably late for their first classes of the day. Though, that was hardly the first thing on her mind at the moment.

All the while, Shuichi didn't move. The young detective had elected to simply stare blankly ahead of him at the bench parallel to the two. They'd still yet to encounter another person.

At some point, the silence became unbearable for her. "I... I think I kind of get it. What you're going through, I mean."

Thankfully, that seemed to get Shuichi's attention. "What?" The inventor took a breath, and steadied her pulse. No going back now.

"Feels like everything you do is for someone else's ass, right? Like every success, and every failure directly impacts the world in some weird, backwards way. Get something right, and yeah, you're on the top of the fucking world, aren't you? You feel good about yourself. You feel... well, useful."

She didn't miss the way he flinched at the last sentence. Good. Maybe this time, he would actually listen to her. Maybe this time... he'd understand.

"But then you fuck up—or, even worse, you don't do anything when you feel like you should be doing something. Because you're talented, one of the most special people in the history of mankind or whatever the fuck they call you, and your talent is supposed to benefit the rest of the world. Even if it means hurting yourself in the process."

"And you do it." Miu's gaze turned towards the graying sky above them. "Because being useful feels good."

"M-Miu..." Shuichi interjected, nerves littered throughout his voice. "What are you trying to say?"

"Shuichi, you're a dumbass, but... I'm kind of a dumbass too." She felt her hands start to get clammy. "Sometimes, I fuck up when I don't mean to, or I say some stupid shit that gets me in trouble. People... people hate me for it, and it's the same thought every time—this isn't what the world wants from me."

Miu finally turned back to the boy beside her, not without a little effort. She could already feel the tears threatening to spill. "S-So yeah, I get it. I want people to like me too. I want to feel useful to somebody. Even if it means getting hurt a little bit."

Was this actually Miu? Shuichi shook his head—of course it was. For as much as Miu was a loud-mouthed, crude pervert, she was also a genuine, emotional girl with feelings and dreams of her own. He'd known her long enough to see beyond the exterior she so often flaunted.

He felt stupid for forgetting that about her. Of course she worried about what everyone thought about her—he'd seen it firsthand on multiple occasions.

But she was also more than that, because Miu Iruma was more than some perverted inventor. She was a talented young woman with hopes that could maybe change the world. No, that would change the world.

"Does that make me a hypocrite?" She asked herself more than anyone else. Shuichi couldn't help but think back to how he'd been this very morning, thinking about how useless he was being, much in the same way Miu was. Perhaps that meant something.

"Maybe," Shuichi answered quietly. He didn't take notice of Miu's reaction, opting instead to push forward. "But... you said it yourself, we're both dumbasses. I-If nothing else, I guess we can both share in our hypocrisy, right?"

That got her attention. The detective certainly didn't miss how her eyes widened marginally. Or how she clenched the hem of her skirt. Hopefully, he didn't say anything too embarrassing.

To his relief, she smiled. "Yeah... guess so." Then she laughed, but not in that boisterous way she normally did. This one was softer, richer. "What a shitty pair we make, huh?"

And he started chuckling softly too. "Yeah... we suck, don't we?"

The blonde scoffed. "You suck. I'm an amazingly gorgeous genius with perfect tits and a few minor character flaws."

"Like making Goin' Commando Guns instead ray guns?"

The girl he had the misfortune of knowing for more than a decade jabbed a finger into her breast. "Who gives a fuck? I'm Miu fuckin' Iruma, and I'm gonna do what Miu fuckin' Iruma wants to do. If that means making a Goin' Commando Gun instead of a dorky ass ray gun, then so be it."

The morning in his home felt like a lifetime ago. Yeah, it still hurt a little to think about how little he was contributing, but maybe that wasn't the worst thing ever. If nothing else, at least he could share that miserable experience with someone else, and maybe even hope to change it in the future.

Miu raised an eyebrow. "Are you done being a depressed little bitch?"

The dark-haired teen blushed in embarrassment. "I-I'm not... I-I mean, sure." He decided not to bring up how she had been acting the exact same less than a minute ago.

"Good." She smiled softly, and Shuichi decided that her normal smile wasn't all that bad to look at. But, just as soon as it came, it morphed into something feral. "Wanna ditch class? Hit up my lab, maybe? Fuck like rabbits on my work bench?"

She really was trying to kill him, wasn't she? "C-Class! We should go to class!"

Miu pouted. "Damn virgin. You were a lot more fun when we were little."

"Sorry for growing up," Shuichi not-really-apologized, beginning the walk to the classroom building before abruptly stopping. Turning, he approached Miu and presented the gun still in his possession. "I, uh, almost forgot to give this back to you."

The Ultimate Inventor wiggled her eyebrows. "Sure you don't wanna keep it? Could come in pretty handy, you know."

"Positive," her childhood friend answered instantly, depositing the gun in her hands and briskly making his way to class. Miu once more fell in step behind him. Maybe class wasn't the worst idea ever—they did still have a reputation to uphold.

They reached the entrance that led to the classroom building, but just as Shuichi reached to open the door, he stopped. Miu looked on in confusion. "What's wrong?"

She heard the faint sound of a shaky breath escape his lips, before he turned to look at her from the corner of his eye. "About that invention of yours... it really is pretty dumb."

Well, that was just plain fucking rude. She was about to let him hear about it too before he spoke up once more. "B-But... it is kind of cool." Sparing not even a millisecond, Shuichi all but dashed into the building, not even bothering to see if Miu was still behind him or not. As for Miu herself, she was still parked in front of the door, staring silently at the spot where Shuichi had just been.

That asshole, sneaking that comment in when she didn't expect it. Never mind that he had been the one to cause this annoying fluttering in her chest. Seriously, what a pathetic, annoying fucking virgin!

Though, she found a tiny bit of consolation in the fact that in his haste to get to class, he had accidentally shoved her bra in his back pocket, somehow forcing the piece of cloth to fit. Boy, would that not fire up rumors around the school.

Despite herself, she smiled, not even bothering to acknowledge the blush spreading rapidly across her features. Yeah, he was a pathetic idiot virgin, but at least he was a somewhat tolerable idiot virgin that she'd known since she was a little girl. A kind of cute idiot virgin. An idiot virgin that she really, really liked spending time with.

As for the bra... well, he could keep it. If it made him think about her even a little bit, what harm could it do?

That was all she had ever wanted from him in the first place.

So yeah. I'm doing a Danganronpa fic. Cool, right?

I actually finished V3 close to a year ago. I debated publishing a fic about it, got wrapped up in college shit, then watched a few Love Suite clips on YouTube and got the inspiration to write this again. I've always felt that Miu got a bad rep from the fandom, and as an esteemed fan of unconventional/unpopular ships (check my other stories), I feel as though that it is my duty to rectify this mistake. Plus, her Love Suite is fucking adorable, come on.

I plan on making this a multi-chapter thing, but who knows anymore. I've resigned to the fact that my schedule is wildly inconsistent at best. I also maybe wanna try my hand at a Kaede/Shuichi fic, because they're pretty cute together too. I suppose we'll see in the end.

The concept for the childhood friends thing comes from Miu's Love Suite event. I thought it was a neat concept, while also giving way to the idea that while Shuichi is still nervous around Miu, he doesn't stammer and get embarrassed in literally every conversation they have, like in the main story. I thought the blushing protagonist schtick would get pretty stale rather quickly otherwise. Plus, it sets up for some good conversations and fluff moments.

Last thing—I'm rating this story M purely due to Miu's big ol' potty-mouth. Literally nothing in this story will be more crude than that. I'm 99.99% sure I'm not doing a lemon, and I like to leave the gory stuff to the better Danganronpa writers. This story's a T at heart, but for the audience's sake, we'll stick with M.

Favorite, Follow, Review, do whatever you fancy. Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you next time.

~Slalem