Hi! So far, this is the longest chapter I've done. Hope you'll like it! Andddd I really want to thank all those people who's supporting me and this story! I love you very much! I also hope that you have a good day! If otherwise, then all I can say is that, I'm here, you can rant everything, anything. Afterall, strangers are good listeners, am I right?
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND AOT
CHAPTER 19
"I'll take that as a yes." Hange declared while smiling sweetly to Sakura with her hands clasp to each other.
"What? No!" On the other side, Sakura is beginning to get annoyed. But a sudden sneer was heard that caught all of their attention.
"Why? Are you afraid we'll found something that we shouldn't have? Haruno?" It was Levi.
Sakura stopped, thinking a safe way to answer that probe. It's not good, why can't she control her emotions? Although she got stunned by his question, she cannot let herself to be more suspicious than before, so she glared back. "Can't you remember? I can perfectly distinguish every titan, no matter how far it is, even blindfolded. Yet you're suspecting me?"
"Yes. If you're really that great, then why haven't you sense Eren the time that you met him?" He coldly stated, also crossing his arms in a way to tired motion.
"You know that I require a great amount of concentration to do that, do you?" She defended. "Besides he's not a titan, as a matter of fact, he's a titan-shifter, okay? That's different." Sakura turned her gaze to Eren, giving an apologetic look for indirectly saying that he's not one of them. And she's right when she sees him with hurt in his innocent eyes.
Guilt trip over her. "And that also means, he's still a human. Like us."
Despite of the situation, Hange created an idea inside her head to the point that she started drooling in excitement. "Hey Sakura! Can you test it now?!"
"What?"
"Try to sense the titan inside him! I'm curious. Would you still be able to feel it or nah?" Hange stand up to get Eren from his seat that was placed to the opposite side of their table. However, Eren got quite scared about the thought but obeyed nonetheless, remembering that Levi is watching the whole scene.
Now, Eren is seated near Sakura, sweating about what she will do to him. "Is that gonna be painful?" He nervously asked. Even though Sakura still hadn't approved by this, she has no choice but to do it. She looked at him with warm and at the same time awkward gaze, then smiled.
"Don't worry, it's almost nothing." She assured that made him release all the air that he has been restraining from the start. But still, it wouldn't make feel relief entirely. He watched as Sakura inched a bit to get a full access in his body, until she places her hand to his chest.
"Is that necessary?" Levi asked.
"Yes. I can't feel it with a distance."
After that they all got silenced. Levi and Hange are eagerly waiting whilst Eren seemed uncomfortable on where to look especially when he's just sitting there with his back straightened awkwardly. Sakura's eyes were closed to concentrate, but she still can't feel anything, so she pumped a bit of her chakra just enough to not be visible in human's eyes.
"It's warm..." She heard him say in the middle of her work.
Everything was going smoothly, until she felt something strange that pushes her out causing her to extract her hand away from him in a flash. With wide eyes, she can't help but to stare at her palms, recalling the feeling. Like... someone was infiltrating his body. What is it?
Everyone almost leap from their seats due to shocked. And the one who was quickly to recover was Eren. "W-what happened?! Are you alright?!" He clasped her hand that she was inspecting to see it himself. He didn't hurt her right?!
"What's going on?!" Hange shouted, slightly regretting her actions then run to her side.
Sakura can't explain it, but... it felt like hers but also not at the same time. But she's sure it's mixed with something. She's still out of it but thankfully, she snapped right back at reality when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Slowly, she turned her head to meet Eren's, still with confusion in her emerald eyes. She needs to create a lie to cover up the whole thing.
"A-ah I just got surprised. Unlike abberants who has a horrible vibe, Eren's vitality was like a... spark, that goes on and off, and getting more powerful in every seconds. It almost burnt my hand. I was lucky." Sakura looked especially to Eren to ensure that everything is alright then smiled.
Hange put a hand under her chin as she analyzes the details. "Eh? Really? Well, that was unexpected." Then smirked. Well, it seems like things are gonna be more interesting for her.
From then on, they continued their little private discussion about titans until the sun rises. However, in those whole hours of talking, Sakura was too distracted to catch up on what they're talking about that she didn't even feel the urge to sleep especially when she felt exhausted. She even felt envious when she saw her captain sleeping peacefully while leaning on his chair, cross armed and his head bent down. That will hurt once he wakes up for sure.
Everything was calm until they heard a loud bang echoed through the room causing them to snapped their head to the door's direction. A man who's sweating profusely is standing on the doorway, huffing and gasping for air that made their sense of alertness to rise up.
"Is Squad leader Hange here? The experiment subjects... Both of the titans were killed!"
They tried to get there as soon as possible, seeing that Hange was full of anxious and anger. As expected, as they enter the garrison castle, what they saw was only the decomposing body of the two titans. With the number of people, Levi instructed them to cover their faces with the green cape.
All they can hear is the anguish cry from Hange as she mourns for the loss of her test subjects, in which she also called her 'child'. Everyone is whispering on each other with their own opinion, also quite alarmed from what had happened.
Sakura stood there behind the crowd with Levi and Eren, also feeling a bit of pity for Hange. With all her attention to the scene she didn't even notice when Levi leaves from their position, up until a deep voice whispered near her ear that made all the hair on her neck to stand up, not to mention the arm that's hanging on her shoulder in which add weights on her body.
"Who do you think is our real enemy here?" Erwin said on both her and Eren, so when they looked to the source of voice, their eyes met, and the only thing that she can see in his eyes is pure terror. And after a few seconds, he added. "Sorry, forget I asked." And just like that, he leaves with Levi like nothing happened which left them stunned.
ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
At the meantime, it was already five in the afternoon and they were stationed back to their headquarters, just her, Eren, Gunther and Eld. For the reason that Levi, Oluo and Petra have something more important to do. They are both feeding the horses at the stables and Sakura can't take the silence anymore, since the other two are inside the castle, she's taking this chance to talk privately with him.
"Eren?"
He almost jumped, surprised to the fact that Sakura was the first one to move when he has been trying to pick a good conversation with her since the beginning. "W-what? What is it?"
"I just want to know what you feel. About this whole thing..."
He batted his lash, formulating a good answer. "The fact that we're put into this situation, or... about three years ago?" To be honest, he's quite mad at her, about leaving. Because first of all, they didn't really know her that long. But what really angered him was the fact that she made them all excited, especially Mikasa, for that empty promised.
"Both."
"Well... until now, I still can't believe that these are all happening. It was unexpected, it happened really fast. But I think... I'll just let myself to do what they wanted, since our goal is to kill titans... and made it to the basement."
"... How about three years ago?"
"... We waited you know?"
Sakura stopped. "Sorry..." If only she wasn't required to lie about everything.
"Mikasa is the one who is really affected. So, she should be the one whom you should asked." Eren was trying not to show annoyance to his voice but he failed.
She nodded. "You're right. I'm really sorry."
Hearing her sad tone made him filled with guilt. He turned around to see her very well. "I admit, I quite expected you to return. You're the only one who approaches us without hate, and everyone in that filled are so busy trying to save themselves, they don't care about kids like us. But then again, we only met you once, and we don't have that deep connection to each other. So it's fine. Plus, you're here now, right?"
If he didn't know the fact that she has amnesia and she wants to find her parents, he wouldn't understand what she has been through. Eren watched her slowly turned to his direction, noticing her eyes which held tons of emotion and words behind it. She smiled.
"You have matured, Eren."
He blushed. "Well, yeah. You look more different too." The first thing that escaped his mouth, not knowing if he had to say, thank you or not. It's true though, she looked much more beautiful with long hair.
"Mhm. And you grow a lot taller too." Sakura stated as she come to him just to differentiate their heights. Then messed his hair by petting him on the head.
"Ehehe." He awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his head. Thankfully, she went back to feeding the horses, so he just unconsciously did the same.
"So. Are you still going to join the scouts?" She asked. The void in her heart loosened, now that they're okay. So as far as possible, she wants to catch up to his experiences.
"Yes, of course. As well as Mikasa, and Armin."
"I see. That's good. It may be dangerous, but I know you can all do it. You're one of the ranked students, right?"
"Yes."
In the middle of their conversation, the other two came back, and it seems like they also heard what they're talking about. "Hey Eren!" Gunther shouted. "Are there any in you class who will join us?"
"I'm nervous about the upcoming ceremony. I was wondering on how many cadets are crazy enough to join us." Eld stated.
"There are. No, there were. I don't know about now." After the battle to Trost, he's sure that many of them were traumatized. Just thinking that you may die any minute outside the walls terrifies their mind, so Eren don't think they will still be persuaded by his speech.
Sounds of horse's steps was heard. "Attention!" When Levi said this, they immediately run to him to salute, while Sakura, just stood there. Forgetting that she also needs to do it, but nevermind.
"We're going on a patrol." He commanded, giving Sakura a warning. Still, she didn't budge.
"Yes, sir!"
"Good morning Captain Levi!" Eren greeted in a good mood.
"Listen Eren, never fall two horse lengths behind me. Don't forget that the only reason you're not locked up is because you're under my supervision." He even added, then glare at the only woman in the team.
"That also applies to you, Sakura."
"Yes, sir!" Eren shouted while Sakura said it in a bored way.
ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
The next day, they are once again in patrol, but this time, they're complete. Considering that the graduation ceremony was done and luckily, nine out of ten ranked students were one to join the survey corps. Which is a good sign for everyone.
They came to a stop. And unlike before, Sakura is now determined to approached Petra and Oluo, since having the talked to Eren increases her confidence. She purposely goes wherever the two will tie their horses. And once they're near to each other, Sakura acted up, like a bolt.
"H-hey..." She said that diverted their attention. They were surprise by the sudden action, that they needed to looked to each other if this is really happening.
"Can I talk to you?" She asked, looking everywhere but them.
"You're already talking to us." When Sakura heard Oluo's reaction, her confidence almost hide from her again. But when she saw a glimpse of Petra elbowed him on his side, she became stunned. What does that mean? Are they mad?
Petra scoffed at him first then looked back again at Sakura with soft smile. "Don't mind him, he's still rude." And silence came by. Until she can't take it anymore. She hugged Sakura with all her might.
Sakura didn't move, but quickly regained herself and hugged her back with a warm heart, closing her eyes.
"I miss you..." Petra whispered while not breaking the hug.
Sakura smiled then opened her eyes, also giving Oluo a warm smile, in which he returned back. "Me too... And... I'm sorry, for yesterday."
"Don't think about it. We understand." And that's when they broke the hug. Oluo walked up to them and give Sakura a playful punch on the shoulder.
"Sheesh... Girls are so dramatic." He jokingly said. Then laughed. "I'm happy you're back, Sakura." Now that they're once again back with each other, they started to talk about random things that comes to their minds as they go to their squad.
"So Sakura, who do you think is the strongest between us now?" Oluo suddenly asked with a smirk plastered on his lips.
Sakura chuckled. "Are we still with that topic?"
"Well, yeah."
Petra on the other hand, put her arms around Sakura's to get closer to the teen. "He just can't accept the fact that you're stronger than him." They giggled.
"I don't know. How about a match? Sounds good?" Sakura watched as Oluo's smile became wider and wider.
"I'm in." As they got to the others, they immediately leaned in to get a perfect view of their plan. As soon as Sakura kneel on the ground along with Eren, they locked eyes then both smile to each other.
"The support squad will only escort us to the old town area. Beyond that is all titan territory. All we can count on is the long-distance scouting formation Commander Erwin devised. We the special-ops squad will be here. In the center of the rear, on standby. Except Sakura, you will be with the Commander's squad, which is here." Gunther started.
Sakura raised a brow. "Huh? Why?" But no one exactly knew why.
"Don't complain. He put you there because I can't supervise you two at the same time during an expedition." Levi declared, giving Sakura a bored yet sharp glare in which Sakura brought back without even thinking about it.
"That's quite far." Eren commented.
"Our position is the safest part in this formation. Even more secure than the supply wagons are... Well, we don't have real objective this time. The expedition won't cover much ground since it's just a test run before getting you to Zhiganshina District." He explained that cause Sakura to raise a brow.
However, Eren suddenly feel down. "Um... I still have no idea what to do with this power yet."
"Did you understand the meaning of the Commander's question back then?"
Eren's brow furrowed. "Did any of you understand?"
"No." Eld simply stated. And Petra who just shake her head.
"I'd be lying if I said I knew for sure. That said, I--" Oluo was cut off by Gunther.
"This operation have another objective. However, the Commander decided to keep that hidden from anyone. So we should just focus on pulling this off without incident." He stated then sighed before standing up. "Trust in Commander." He added.
Although unsure, Eren decided to believe his words. "Yes, sir."
"Let's go back. Our training is over." Levi commanded and they all obeyed, riding through the horizon as the sun sets.
ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
It's almost five in the afternoon when they got back to the castle. And just like an ordinary day, they are doing their work forcibly called cleaning. And guess what? It's horse's shit this time. Fuck that short man. If only she can punch him with all her might, then she will do it without any thought. Don't worry, she's not that cruel. She will heal him afterwards anyway.
What's even worst is the fact that Levi is purposely punishing her because she got a lot more task to do than Eren. And so, Eren was already done for about ten minutes ago. She's alone right now, but she knows that Oluo is on the outside waiting for her to finish, because he said, he's not the type of friend that will help her in that situation.
Sakura breathe a sigh of relief as she hangs the last rope that she knotted so it wouldn't get tangled so easily. Washing her hands, Sakura heard the voices outside, they are probably giving out the uniforms to the newly recruits. Knowing that Mikasa and Armin are there, she scrubbed her hands faster then made herself presentable after a hell of a work.
Oluo greeted her, also offered her his drink as soon as she stepped out. "Your so slow."
"Yeah. Thanks for waiting." Then the pink haired mindlessly grabbed the bottle from his hands and drank its whole content straight down to her stomach. "They already started right?"
"Hmm... let's go." And after a few corners, they finally got to the little assembly. Everyone is already with their uniforms, and she admit that they all look so cool right now.
Sakura quickly scan all their faces, since they are all positioned to the front, she immediately saw their faces. Taking a glance to Oluo, who face her at the same time, Sakura pointed the three with her lips, indicating that she will go to them for a short time but before he could even talk, she was already running.
Mikasa and Armin saw her instantly in that instant with wide eyes. She stopped at their track. Then smiled while waving slightly her hand, in which Eren brought back to her.
"Hello Mikasa, Armin..." She greeted. But due to their stunned expression, she became a little bit awkward. "I was told that you're one of the top ten! Congratulations! And by the way, you look cool with your uniforms."
Eren and Sakura steal a glance at each other when none of them spoke. But thankfully, Armin got out from his stupor. "A-ah! Really? Thank you Sakura. You look fine with yours' too! Right, Mikasa?" Although, her uniform's emblem is still for a trainee, it still can't hide the fact that it is similar in design.
She smiled at Armin as he said that, the watched as Mikasa hide her lower face behind her scarf, just like what she does way back then. "Mhm..." She whispered looking down at her boots.
Sakura hummed, co'z that just mean it's a start of building their relationships with each other again. She looked at her surroundings when everyone started to depart. She sighed, just a little more minutes and this place will only be for them. Having that said, her eyes broaden as she remembered her friend. She turned around only to find him casually talking to other new members that almost made her laugh.
This guy is probably bragging about himself again. She smiled and turned her attention back to them. What she first notice is Eren's fired up expression, probably giving her encouragement seeing that she didn't know how to start the conversation. She cleared her throat, silently thanking him.
The first thing that come to her mind was to make the atmosphere more comfortable, so she plumped herself on the ground in crossed legs, also urging them to do the same, and they did without complain.
"Ahhhh... you're probably wondering why I am here, sitting with you, knowing that I didn't even checked up on you in all those years... and for that, I want to say sorry. Sorry for making an empty promises that left you with high expectations..." She began as she played with her fingers.
"I forgive you!" Eren stated way too loud, hoping it will influence his friends. Looking up, Sakura smiled at him once again.
It did actually work, as Armin clasped her hands with his. Giving her a tearful eyes. "Don't say that! We all know the reason why you did it, and we perfectly understand! We we're just kids back then... but after the trial, all the answers that we're looking for was answered... we should be the one to say sorry for thinking so lowly of you..." Then he wiped his tears with his sleeves. Giving her the best smile he can offer.
"Please don't be. I know it's my fault, you don't need to feel like that Armin..." She muttered with a soft smile. But he only shakes his head in complete disagreement. She smiled and also messed his hair by petting him on the head like what she did to Eren, saying her gratitude by actions.
After that, Sakura turned to look at Mikasa, still waiting patiently until she's ready to speak. And it did. "Are you okay?" Was what Mikasa can think of, but hey, a word is still a word, right? Even if it's simple, it still helds a great meaning.
She cares. And so is she.
Mikasa was probably thinking about her feelings, specifically, she's talking about Sakura's parents, did she found them? Had they finally come into reunification? Even though it was all made up, Sakura still have no choice but to go with it.
"Yes, yes! Of course! So... How's everything? Doing good?"
Armin unconsciously rubbed his arms. "Yeah, so far..."
"I see... And how about training? Was it hard?"
This time it was Eren who answers but the joy on his face was suddenly replace with sadness. And the aura changes drastically. A wrong choice of topic. "It was fun and challenging. We also met new friends but, after the Trost attack..." He breathed, clenching his fist. The two looked at their friend with worry, giving him sympathetic look. Mikasa who's sitting beside Eren pat his back to comfort him.
Sakura really ruined it. She didn't know what exactly happened that day, but how can she forget the fact that they were also there? Fighting titans to fight for humanity? How can she be so crude with her words?
"It's my fault..." Eren muttered thinking way back when his squad fall one by one in his own very eyes.
Sakura bit her lip in regret as she put her right hand to his arm. "Sorry... It's not your fault, Eren."
His eyes change into slit as he snapped his head to her direction. "Yes, it is!"
Due to his rage, Sakura tighten her grip to his arms and look him deadly on the eye. "Are you the one who personally kill them?"
His brows furrowed. "No!"
"Then it's not your fault."
"But because of me they died... Because of my lack of leadership, they got killed..."
Mikasa leaned closer and stare at him like she did. "She's right Eren... No one knows what's gonna happen. None of you didn't wish for that to happen, so don't blame yourself." Then she also looked at Armin. "You too Armin, don't take it upon yourself." Now that she said it. Sakura noticed how Armin's knuckles are going white as he clenched his fist.
It can be that they are on the same team when that happens. She exhaled, putting her hand back to her lap. "Remember what I've said to you before?" When she looked them one by one and said nothing, she continued. "Hatred... doesn't solve anything. It builds nothing but it can destroy everything. It can kill you..."
When none of them get it, she added. "Why? Because it can also apply to what you're feeling right now. Stop blaming yourselves, alright? If you keep doing that, your brain will slowly adapt to that thought and eventually, for future scenarios, when something bad happens, it's first reaction is to send signals to blame yourself for everything until you give up while thinking you're a failure."
Now their expressions began to soften. "I know it's hard... for now. But eventually, you'll get over it. I--... I'm here now... right? Just... try to get stronger, mentally and physically, because that's the actual requirements of every soldier in order to continue living in this cruel world." It's just the beginning. There's still more waiting out there that they needed to endure.
"But don't you ever forget..." She trailed as she points her index finger to where her heart is. "This. Understood?" Raising a brow as she waited for their answers.
She smiled as they slowly nodded their heads. As she anticipated, they are still the same kids who she met three years ago. The ones who lack someone who will guide them to the right path. The ones who need support and advices.
"Eren! Mikasa! Armin!" A girl with brown hair tied into a high ponytail shouted from behind.
"Come quick! Jean wants you to join us! We have something to talk about!" Another one shouted with buzz haircut that is smaller than the girl.
Sakura realizes that they're thinking if should go or not so she said, "You can go. I'm really thankful for today. All of you." Then they all started to stand up on their feet. A bit of tears on Eren and Armin's eyes.
"Thank you..." They both said. Armin added. "See you next time Sakura." And from then on, they run up to their friends while waving her goodbye but Sakura smiled and raised a brow at Mikasa when she stayed. Her lower face was once again hidden behind her scarf.
And to Sakura's surprised, Mikasa hugged her. But it was so quick that she didn't get a chance to hugged her back. "I'm glad you're back... please don't leave this time..." She whispered but Sakura can still hear it. She forces a smile.
"I won't." Half lie, half truth. Because she will definitely do everything to prevent something like that to happen again. And she also doesn't know when she will finally be able to go back to her world. Mikasa smiled and bowed, as a part of reverence and gratitude. Sakura bowed back. Then she proceeded to moved.
The feeling like she's home, is settling in her stomach again. Just like when she heard her for the first time with their own language. A genuine smile escaped her lips, waving her whole arms up in the air saying goodbye. Not a minute later they're out of her sight, and she slowly put it down, still wearing her smile.