Chapter Nineteen: Erised

Hermione pushed her food around her plate. Her head was resting against her hand, elbow up on the Slytherin table, which her and her group frequented more often than not. She felt her eyes go heavy as conversation around her flowed. All she could think about were classes and exams. As her eyelids closed, she saw the words from various textbooks float in front of her.

"Good Godric, Hermione, wake up!"

Hermione's eyes flew open. Her elbow slipped from the table, causing her fork to fall into Ginny's lap. "Gee, thanks, Hermione, I needed that." Hermione flushed, embarrassed she had been caught falling asleep.

"Sorry, Gin," Hermione rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn. "I guess I haven't been getting enough sleep." Hermione's eyes flickered over to Draco. He was watching her closely.

"Studying hard, Hermione?" Luna asked her. Hermione nodded, still watching Draco. He rolled his eyes and went back to sipping his tea. Hermione glared at him. "I wouldn't worry too much about N.E.W.T.s. We all know you'll do great."

Hermione nodded again and went back to pushing her food around her plate. She didn't want to lie to Luna, but she knew she had to. She didn't want them to worry about her. The last few weeks, ever since Ron and Harry had blown up at the Quidditch game, Hermione hadn't been sleeping well. Whether it was nightmares about the war or seeing her old mates stare at her with hatred behind their eyes, she was up almost all night. She tried over and over listening to Fred's CD player, reading his letters that he sent her every day. She moved her flower vase closer to her bed and she tried burying her face into her stuffed lion she got for Christmas. Nothing seemed to be helping. Thinking of Fred helped her relax, and she would doze off, but never enough to be fully rested. Draco and Theo had been the ones there when she would start screaming from a nightmare, or when she would wake up sobbing. Draco and Theo had taken to sleeping on the floor of her dorm so that they wouldn't have to keep running across the hall blindly.

Neville's voice brought her back. "Did you hear me, Hermione?"

Hermione jumped and blinked at him. "I'm sorry Neville, what?"

"I asked if you had any ideas for Fred's birthday coming up."

Hermione groaned and let her head fall to the table. "No. I haven't come up with a single thing to get him."

"Has he mentioned wanting anything in his letters?" Theo questioned, shoveling more food into his mouth. She flinched, the action reminding her of Ron.

"No. All he's been talking about really is business with Blaise and George's trouble with the shop."

"What's going on with the shop?"

"Well," Hermione started. "With Fred being gone half of the time, George is struggling to keep up in stock. Fred has been doing his best to help, even I've taken some responsibility, but it's just not enough."

"I'd be more than happy to help," Draco chirped from behind his teacup. Only Hermione could see the dark circles around his eyes, both from being awake with Hermione and struggling with his own nightmares. Some nights, instead of getting in her own bed, she would crawl on the floor next to Draco. Her and Theo would be up, watching him toss and turn, and then eventually stop fighting and lie awake. No one spoke. Theo would fall asleep after a while, and then it would just be Draco and her.

"Me too," Ginny said. "George promised me a position at his new shop in Hogsmeade if the Holyhead Harpies didn't work out."

"Of course it will work out," Luna smiled at her. Ginny smiled and nodded her head.

"When is that again?" Theo asked her.

Ginny sighed. "A few weeks after the twins' birthday."

"You got this, Red," Draco told her. "You seriously whipped the Gryffindor team into shape."

"He's right, Gin," Neville wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You sure did whip me into shape right quick."

Theo pretended to gag. "Longbottom, please keep your bedroom details in the bedroom."

The group laughed as Neville turned a nice shade of red. "I didn't mean it like that, you prick."

Ginny laughed at him and kissed his cheek. "You just make it too easy, Nev." Ginny turned to her friends. "But thank you, everyone. It really means a lot to have your support."

"Of course," Hermione told her, giving her a tired smile.

"Now back to you, Granger," Draco put his teacup down. "Weasley's birthday is only two weeks away."

"I know," Hermione groaned.

"And you don't have anything planned out," Theo told her.

"I know."

"And he gave you such an amazing gift for your birthday," Ginny reminded her. Hermione groaned again and felt the anger swell in her chest.

"Yes, that CD player was really lovely," Luna said.

"And don't forget his Christmas present," Draco chimed in.

"Oh, yes! The tickets to Broadway."

"Spectacular gift giver, Fred is."

"Really sweet."

"I know!" Hermione hit the table with her hands. Her outburst caused her friends to stare at her in silent shock. Hermione took in ragged breaths. Finally, she stood up. She grabbed her bag, leaving her dinner untouched in her wake. She could feel the eyes of her group of friends following her out of the Great Hall, but she didn't stop. She focused only on putting one foot in front of the other, as fast as she could. It felt like a wall had come crashing down on top of her. All the emotions she had been struggling to keep in spilling out at once.

Hermione veered away from her common room portrait. She knew Draco and Theo would come looking for her. Right now, Hermione wanted to be alone. She slowed her pace down and took a few deep breaths. Hermione looked around. She hadn't walked the hallways of the castle more than she needed to. She walked to class and the Great Hall and then straight back to her dorm. Every step she took, she found herself having flashbacks. She passed by the library, where she had been petrified in her second year. She passed by a staircase where she had seen fallen students, eyes lifeless. She passed by spots her, Harry, and Ron had been in multiple times, talking and laughing. But that was when they were talking. Every corner she turned, every portrait she passed by, was a new memory.

Hermione could feel the nerves building up inside her. She felt her feet picking up pace. She didn't know where she was going, just that she needed to get away. She needed to get out of her memories. Hermione broke out in a sprint. She was breathing hard, and she could feel her heart beating out of her chest. Hermione pushed forward and ran. She hadn't run like this in years. It felt good. It felt good to feel her muscles working as hard as they could to get Hermione away. Hermione felt the cold hit her cheeks. She vaguely wondered when she had started crying.

Finally, Hermione turned a corner and stopped. She pushed her back up against the wall and tried to catch her breath. After a few minutes, Hermione wiped her eyes and looked around. She was in a part of the castle she didn't recognize. The corridor she was in was large and old, a part of the castle that hadn't been touched by the war. The stone was covered in dust and dirt. It was empty, except for a mirror sitting in the corner.

Hermione stepped closer to the mirror. It was large with a gold frame. The top of the mirror came to a point. The frame around it created two more points on the sides, almost making it look like the silhouette of a castle. Hermione stepped in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. Her hair was a mess and uniform was wrinkled from running for so long. Her face was puffy, and her eyes were bloodshot. Hermione looked closer and noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She pulled her attention away from herself to the top part of the mirror.

"Erised stra ehru oyt ubee cafru oyt on wohsi," Hermione mumbled to herself. The words written across the top of the mirror made no sense to her. She looked over the first word again and gasped. Erised. She had read about this in Hogwarts: A History. "The Mirror of Erised," Hermione whispered. The mirror was supposed to show you what you most desire. Hermione looked back at her reflection.

As she watched, Hermione saw two figures walking up to her. Hermione gasped as she realized who it was. She recognized the black hair, pulled back into a tight bun. She recognized the light brown wisps on a tall head. She felt the tears roll down her cheeks as her parents walked up to her. They were smiling, dressed in plain white clothes. They wrapped their arms around her, and Hermione swore she could feel the warmth encompass her. Her mom rested her head against hers, just like she always would when she was younger.

"Mum, dad…" Hermione choked back a sob. Hermione sunk down to her knees and sobbed. Erasing her parents' memory had been the hardest thing she had ever done. Harry and Ron didn't know she had done that. She went with them on the hunt for horcruxes and found moments of solitude to cry. The only thing keeping her going was that they were safe and happy.

After Merlin knows how long, she wiped her eyes and got comfortable on the ground. Hermione sat there for a while, looking at her parents. She noticed her mother would look away behind her every once and a while. Hermione tilted her head, trying to see around her mother. Her mother looked at her, then stepped out of the way. Hermione's breath got stuck in her throat.

Walking up to her, in his purple suit and orange tie, was Fred. His hair was long on top and cut short on the sides. Just the way Hermione liked it. He was beaming at her. She smiled at him. He lifted his hand and Hermione saw something sparkle. It was a ring, on his left finger. Hermione saw in her reflection she had a matching one on her hand. She looked up, mouth agape. He winked at her as he sat down. He crossed his legs and sat on Hermione's right. Her parents followed suit and sat on her left. Hermione looked at all three of them and beamed. They were all looking at her, and Fred reached over and set his hand atop hers. Hermione only wished it was real. She didn't know what came over her, but she started talking.

"Mum, dad, this is Fred Weasley," she blushed. "My boyfriend." Their faces never moved, even though she could picture her dad's eyes going wide with shock. "I promise you would have liked him, dad. He treats me very well." She turned to her mom and pictured her with her hand over her mouth, trying to hide a smile. "And he's really sweet, mum. He gives me flowers, and holds my hand, and gives the best hugs…" Hermione felt the words catch in her throat. Hermione kept talking. Telling them all about her and Fred, and her eighth year at Hogwarts. She told them about her worries over exams, and how Harry and Ron had hurt her. She told them all about her new friends; yes, even that "mean boy Malfoy" who had tormented her as a kid. She laughed as she told them about all their crazy antics. As she talked, she could see everyone materialize in the background. There was Neville and Ginny, Theo and Draco, Luna and Blaise, George and Angelina. Standing to the side were Harry and Ron. They were looking at her with all the adoration they used to when they were in school. She talked to them, how she felt abandoned by them and missed them.

Hermione talked until there was nothing to talk about anymore. When she was done, she just sat there, with all of them looking at her. She didn't know how long she sat there before someone finally found her.

"My, my," a voice said from behind her, "I never expected to find you here, Hermione."

Hermione whipped her head around. Standing, resting against the pillar, was Professor Lupin. He was wearing one of his brown suits and carrying some papers. He was smiling softly at her, the light from the window brightening his scar.

"Prof-" Hermione stopped herself. "Remus, what are you doing here?"

He chuckled softly. "I stop by here from time to time, on my way back from my office."

"You knew this was here?"

"Oh yes," he said, coming up and sitting on the floor next to her. "I've known this has been here for quite some time."

Hermione nodded slowly and turned back towards the mirror. Everyone was still there, except now Hermione could vaguely see Remus sitting next to her. "Remus… I was just wondering…"

"You want to know what I see," he looked over at her. Hermione nodded her head silently. Remus sighed. "I see James and Sirius, mostly." Remus took a deep breath. "And Peter, if he didn't go over to Lord Voldemort." He smiled sadly. "I see us all together again."

Hermione looked over at him. Remus was staring at the mirror, smiling sadly. She saw his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. He was still able to live and breathe, even without the people he had once cared about the most. "How do you do it?" She whispered into the silence.

"Do what?"

"Move on without them."

Remus looked towards the young witch. She was staring at the mirror intensely. He knew about Hermione's struggles. Theo came to him, concerned, earlier in the week. Remus had meant to talk to her, but he couldn't find her. He had promised Tonks that he would look after her, especially now that Harry and Ron had shown back up and caused a stir. Finally, Remus sighed. "It's very hard," he started. She looked over at him. "I think about what life would be like if they were here. How Teddy would adore Sirius and pick on James. How Peter would teach him spells. How it would be if all of us were together again."

Hermione watched Remus adjust his seat and glance back at the mirror. "Unfortunately, life happens. We all made our choices in the end. And I'm here and they're not." He laughed softly. "But I know James and Sirius would kill me if I were to rot away, too upset to live. They would want to see me happy. They would want me to move on." He stopped for a moment. "They would also want me to raise Teddy like a Marauder, but I think that would kill Minerva."

Hermione laughed out loud. Remus looked over at the young witch and laughed with her. When they calmed down, Remus looked over at her. "And that's how I do it. I laugh, I keep their memory alive. And I come here to remember them when I need it." Hermione looked in the mirror again. Fred and her parents were beaming, happy that she was laughing. Everyone else were still in the background, and it looked like they were talking to her. Hermione thought she could make out the words, "You can do this," coming from Draco and "We love you," coming from Ginny. Hermione's greatest desire was for her family to be whole, she realized. She wanted everyone to be together, including Harry and Ron.

"Thank you, Remus," she told him.

"Anytime, Hermione." Remus wrapped an arm around her shoulder. They sat like that for a few moments. They were both lost in their own world, looking at the mirror. Finally, Remus got up. "I suggest you get back to your dorm. It's almost midnight."

Hermione nodded. She grabbed her things and followed Remus out the corridor. She took one last look at the mirror and smiled. She said goodbye to Remus and made her way towards her dorm. She felt lighter somehow. She made her way back to her dorm and entered quietly. She set her bag down on the couch and went to the bathroom. Once she was done, she went to her dorm, expecting it to be empty. But when she got there, Draco and Theo were lying on the floor, but her bed was void of pillows and a blanket. Hermione chuckled softly and got ready for bed. She looked at the two boys lying on her floor, both in a t-shirt and shorts. They were breathing evenly, and Hermione though they were asleep. She crawled in between them and got under the covers. When she was comfortable, she was pulled into a giant hug from both sides.

"Finally, you're back," Draco mumbled sleepily. He didn't open his eyes as he settled back down.

"Honestly, 'Mione," Theo yawned, "We waited forever."

Hermione giggled. "Sorry, I'm back now."

"Good," both mumbled under their breath. Hermione felt her eyelids get heavy.

"Goodnight, Theo, Draco." And with that, Hermione drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

…

"Hermione!"

She thought she heard yelling. Hermione tried hard to stay asleep, to figure out where the yelling was coming from. It must be from a dream. Hermione rolled over and bumped into something warm. The something warm groaned and moved away from her.

"Hermione!"
Where was that muffled screaming coming from? Hermione finally opened her eyes and was met with a patch of blonde hair in her eyes. Hermione pushed it away and it groaned.

"Dammit, woman, let me sleep," the blonde tuft groaned.

"And get the bloody door," a voice mumbled from her other side.

Hermione jumped up. She was on her floor of her dorm. She was under her blanket, using her lion as a pillow. On her left was Draco, and her right was Theo. The memories from last night came rushing back to her. She smiled to herself.

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione rubbed her eyes and got up. She made her way over to the portrait hole. As soon as it opened, she was met by a large group of people. Ginny was the first in, looking distraught. Neville followed behind her with Luna bringing up the rear.

"Finally! We've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes!" Ginny yelled at her. She was clutching a letter in her hand. Hermione noticed something was off, but she was still half asleep.

"We know, Red," Theo grumbled, coming out to the common area. "We've been listening for the last ten minutes."

"You guys missed breakfast," Neville told them. He kept looking at Hermione and looking away. Something was definitely off, but Hermione was still trying to process.

"What time is it?"

"Almost time for first class," Luna told them.

"But we're not going," Ginny told her firmly. That snapped Hermione out of her thoughts.

"What?" She questioned. "Why not?"

Ginny held a letter out in front of her. Hermione just stared at her. Ginny groaned and shook it. "This! This is why!"

"What is it?"

"A letter, that came for you this morning!" Ginny yelled at her. "Athena was going crazy looking for you!"

"Gin, maybe we should take it easy…" Neville tried to calm her down.

"No! We need to leave. We need to leave now!"

"Red, what is going on?" Draco asked from Hermione's doorway.

"It's Harry and Ron," Luna started gently. "It seems they've been giving everyone a tough time since the Quidditch game."

"Well, we figured that," Theo scoffed, going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. "So, what? We're leaving to go over there and kick some arse?"

"Not exactly," Neville mumbled darkly. "Apparently, Ron and Harry were getting into it with Mrs. Weasley pretty bad last night."

"What?" Draco practically screamed.

"She's alright," Neville added quickly. "But…"

"But what, Longbottom? Spit it out," Theo told him.

"It's Fred," Luna said gently.

Hermione froze. She looked over at Luna with wide eyes. Luna's grey eyes softened, and she reached for Hermione's hand. "What happened?" Hermione finally managed to whisper.

"According to George, Fred got in the middle of it," Theo said. Hermione looked over and saw him and Draco leaning over the letter. Draco was skimming it until his eyes read over something. He strode over to Hermione and grabbed her and pulled her towards her room.

"Granger, get ready. Now."

"Draco, what happened?"

"You don't have to- "

"You have to tell me- "

"Granger, let's just go- "

"DRACO!" Hermione screamed. He stopped and looked at her. His grey eyes were swarmed with worry. "Tell me what happened."

Draco groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "George said that Fred got into the middle of it," he started. "And that didn't sit right with Weaslebee. Fred tried to get him to calm down."

"But Ron is an idiot," Ginny hissed, tears forming behind her hard eyes.

Draco nodded. He looked back over to Hermione. "He got mad. He pushed Fred, and Fred lost his balance."

"So Fred fell down? Does he have a broken bone, or…?"

Theo sighed. "He hit his head again, Granger. He's back at St. Mungo's, not waking up."

Hermione just stared at him, not processing what just came out of his mouth. "Is he… is he…"

"They're monitoring his vitals, and it's looking good," Neville quickly told her. "But he's back in a coma, like he was… you know."

Hermione stopped breathing. She felt like someone had sucked all the air out of her lungs. Her knees buckled and she would have fallen face first, if not for Draco. He caught her and swiftly lifted her up. He set her down on the couch, facing him.

"Granger, listen to me," Draco said. Hermione was stuck staring at the wall in front of her. All her thoughts were about losing Fred. The image she had seen in the mirror slowly started to crumble. Draco grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. His grey eyes were like stone. "Hermione, he will be okay. I'll get the best doctors at St. Mungo's working on him. But we need to get ready and out of here. Now."

"Come on, Hermione," Luna told her softly. She wrapped a small arm around her friend. Hermione followed her into her room. Ginny wiped her eyes and followed them inside. She closed the door behind her.

"We better start getting ready, too," Neville told the two boys. Theo nodded and headed towards Draco's room.

"Neville?" Draco called.

"Hm?"

"We're going to get Potter and Weaslebee back for this, right?"

"Oh, of course," Neville said darkly. He clapped Draco on the back. "After we figure everything out with Fred. Come on, let's get you dressed."

7