Prompt: "Well, if you want a random prompt...

Rin summons Chloe in EMIYA's place. But Chloe still has the curse that inflicts pain on her whenever Illya is injured so Rin can't let Illya die as that would kill Chloe. And Chloe refuses to let Shirou be hurt at all. Meaning Rin has to manage Illya and Chloe's squabbles, Illya and Shirou's troubles, keep Chloe off of Shirou, and stop Chloe from kissing anyone (such as Shirou or Sakura or Taiga or herself) while trying to win the Fifth Holy Grail War.

I'm sort of looking forward to a trainwreck." — Worldbringer of Joseun, answered by Exstarsis

[A/N: "I've seen Prillya. I'm still fond of Chloe. I'm so sorry."]

The pink-haired little girl dressed in red and black stood in the summoning circle, looking around like she was at a museum.

"Ahem," said Rin. "And who are you?" Certainly not the legendary Saber she'd hoped for. The ritual hadn't entirely failed, though, despite her screw-up. She could still make something of this.

"Oh!" said the kid. "I'm… I'm Archer? Yeah. Sorry 'bout this. You were scheduled to get a different Archer but he kind of had to go… blow something up?" She scratched her head. "Do you know what that means? Because I don't."

Rin sagged a little. "Can you tell me your True Name?"

"Uh… Chloe." The girl gave her a jaded look, as if she knew what was coming next.

Racking her brain for any legendary warrior named Chloe, Rin came up empty. But it didn't matter. They'd still win. She'd win, no matter who her Servant was. If all else failed, she could always pick her up and use her as a bludgeon. She about the right size for that, at least. "Right! Chloe! Can you — you can fight, right?"

Chloe winked, disappeared, appeared briefly bouncing off the wall of the workshop, and then small lips pressed against Rin's cheek. "Sure can, Miss Master." She crouched before Rin, tilting her head in a way that was almost familiar. Then she giggled. "This is going to be fun! I'll… I'll go scout around, okay?"

And then, before Rin could say a word, the little Archer had vanished.

When Rin woke up the next morning, a strange pink-haired child was waving coffee in a paper cup under her nose. "Come on, I'm bored, get up, get up, get up, there's two dozen doughnuts downstairs."

Rin blinked blearily and then memory rolled over her. She sat up, pushing away the cup of coffee and then snatching it back again. She'd already sipped it before a thought occurred to her. "How did you get this? And doughnuts?"

Chloe winked at Rin. "You don't want to know. But I'll tell you if you want!"

A nasty feeling crept over Rin and she said sternly, "Tell me right now!"

With a shrug, Chloe leaned over to whisper in Rin's ear, as if her technique was too naughty to be spoken aloud.

And it was! It took all of the Tohsaka elegance not to spill the coffee from a cold and nerveless hand. She stared, aghast, at the child bouncing on the edge of her bed.

"Oh, come on. You're a magus, right? Resources are resources."

Slowly, Rin finished the tepid coffee. She was a magus. She'd already committed to killing to win this war. It would be weakness to cavil at something like this. And obviously the kid, whoever she was, was definitely gifted in her own way.

By the time she'd finished her coffee, Rin felt decidedly better. She would win this war. She focused on her Archer, who had been restlessly moving around her room picking out clothes, holding them up to her chest and then discarding them.

"You're right. Resources are resources. And I know exactly how to use you, now."

"Does it start with eating doughnuts?" asked Chloe hopefully.

Rin's thoughts, already racing through the junction of possibilities, paused. "Well, maybe just one."