Location: Ravoli City Spaceport, Calzon
Time: 1:00 PM, Monday
"No good, lousy cheapskates!" Hooker complained irately as she stomped into the highly modified and upgraded pet carrier that served as her mobile home. "Think they can short me on my payment just because they are soooo big! DAMN IT ALL!"
Truth be told, it wasn't that Calzonians were all that big, at least compared to the galactic average of sophont species sizes. It was that Ottsels were enough below that average that the majority of races out there just didn't take them seriously. Oh, sure, Ottsels were hardly the smallest race in the known universe (that particular distinction went to the Technomites), the cutest (the Cidi had this distinction, much to their eternal annoyance), nor the most subjugated (that would be the Truul, poor bastards), but that didn't mean that they didn't have a host of issues when dealing with other sophont races.
The biggest of which, in Hooker's mind, being that almost no one took Ottsels seriously!
Case in point being that, once again, Hooker got shafted by her client, who only gave her a small fraction of the posted after mission payout for the job she just did! And of course Cranston had his bodyguards present, meaning that she couldn't very well take it out of his hide without risking her own in the process. Nope, she just let herself be bullied right out of the building with fake smiles and disingenuous farewells on the part of everyone involved.
Sighing, as she slumped onto her bed, Hooker finally noticed that the message light on the wall-mounted comm was blinking. Checking it out, she saw that it was from Shiv Helix, one of the few individuals she had worked with before that hadn't screwed her over either during or after a mission!
Hooker quickly hit the call-back button and waited…
"Hey, Hooker!" Shiv's distorted voice greeted her amiably from the comm. "Glad I was able to get a hold of ya! Ya still looking for a partner?"
"You changed your mind?" Hope springs eternal…
"Nah," Hope is once again dashed to the ground in smoking ruins. "However, the client I'm currently working for is forming a team, and one of the latest members brought ya to mind. How would you like to be paired up with a Warbot by the name of Blackjack who was recently promoted to Paid Asset status?"
"Really!? You're basing a potential partner for me on a meme!?"
"Well, yeah, but it's a marketable one, and you know a bot ain't going to stiff ya if you two decide to stick together once the mission is done. Not over the normal issues anyway."
"There is that, yes. Fine, I'll come and do a meet and greet to see if I want to join. Where to, and would you mind footing the travel expenses? My last client shortchanged me. By a lot."
There was a brief pause before Shiv's voice came over the comm again. "Where're ya at and what's the name of whoever shafted ya? Vic just offered to come by and deal with them as part of your sign up bonus if you take the job. He'd bring you back here on his ship if you agree."
"Consider me all in!" Hooker exclaimed, suddenly very happy.
Things were definitely looking up for once!
-o-
Location: Aleero City Spaceport, Kerwan
Time: 3:00 PM, Monday
Widget felt much better after getting cleaned up and being allowed to nap on the way back to the Hall of Heroes. She and Clank had made, in their own opinion, way too many attempts to clear the training course back on Umbris before finally reaching the end, and Captain Qwark and Dr. Nefarious had argued way too long as to whether or not it counted since Mr. Cudlewumpus couldn't be coaxed to fight now that he had been fed.
The general consensus among everyone but Qwark was that Widget and Clank had, in fact, dealt with the Blargian Snagglebeast, even if not by actually fighting it. Which was clearly a win.
"You actually feeling rested this time?" Cora asked as Widget joined everyone in the portside airlock on deck three of the CHS-GR Phoenix (the distinction was important this time, because the SWR Phoenix, belonging to the Starwatch Rangers, was currently in system).
"Yeah," Widget nodded as Captain Qwark paused at the airlock.
"Widget, Clank," Quark started, "I know you both offered to help your father set up his new facilities while you're on Pokataru, but it's also important to take some time to actually relax while you're there. Being a hero is a high stress occupation after all, so learning how to decompress is just as vital as any other part of your training! So once we reach the Hall of Heroes, I want you to change into civvies and meet Cora and Elaris in the lobby. They'll be taking you out shopping so you'll both be properly kitted out for a Pokataru vacation!"
"I do not have civilian attire, Captain," Clank spoke up. "Nor indeed any clothing at all. My design does not have any modesty requirements."
"Perhaps," Dr. Nefarious stated agreeably, "but as you travel the galaxy and even beyond, you'll come to discover that there are some cultures that would heartily disagree that any sophont at all should go without clothing, even if only for something to wear on special occasions. The fact that you are a robot with no readily apparent gender specific features would not matter to them."
Clank thought for a moment, then replied. "And this affects our upcoming stay on Pokataru how? There is no such culture listed as being currently in residence on that planet."
"It doesn't," Nefarious admitted, "But you may as well get the shopping out of the way now, since Cora and Elaris are going to be assisting your sister anyway. You might want to stop by Al's Roboshack while you're out and see what he has available in aquatic mods."
"I saw a hydro-pack mod on display at the Roboshack on Hoven," Cora mentioned. "So Al's Roboshack probably has them in stock too. If not, I heard there was a Roboshack at the Jowai Resort, so they'll probably have them there for any robotic tourists."
"I think I shall try to get one here," Clank stated. "The Heli-pack mod Al installed is functioning rather well, and I'm more comfortable with having a familiar mechanic perform the installation of anything new."
-o-
Location: Hall of Heroes, Aleero City, Kerwan
Time: 4:00 PM, Monday
"We've got tentative approval to recommission and rehabilitate Bravo Squad," Dr. Nefarious informed Captain Qwark in the privacy of the latter's office. "Given how long they've been left in the field with neither maintenance nor updated instructions, it is highly recommended that they undergo a minimum of five years observation before we even consider transitioning them to Paid Asset status, but otherwise we can use them as we deem fit."
Quark thought about it for a moment before responding. "We're going to have to hire more staff to see to their needs, aren't we?"
"That would be prudent, yes," Nefarious agreed. "A quartermaster and a mechanic at the very least, unless you want to permanently sideline Widget for those tasks."
"No. As much as she has taken to looking after Bravo Squad so far, we took her on as a Ranger, and restricting her to a maintenance position would be stifling for her. Do we have the budget for the additional staff required?"
"At the moment, yes," Nefarious affirmed, before continuing snidely. "As long as you don't go out of your way to buy more monsters for training purposes."
Quark started to raise his hand.
"Nor for any other purpose for that matter!" Nefarious insisted.
Quark lowered his hand. "Spoilsport…"
"I'll start reviewing candidates for interviews," Nefarious stated, getting ready to leave Qwark's office.
"I can do that much myself."
"Qwark, the last time I let you interview anyone without someone else filtering the applicants first, we ended up with B-81 as a receptionist."
"Betty's a fine receptionist!"
"By pure fluke! She's more boobs than brains! Literally!"
"Look, just because she was manufactured that way doesn't mean she's not qualified for her job!"
"She only qualified for it after taking full advantage of her sign up benefits to upgrade herself!"
"And you have a problem with that?"
"No, I approve of her decision to try to improve herself. I'm just saying that she wasn't qualified for the job you hired her for before she got those upgrades."
-o-
Location: Aleero City, Kerwan
Time: 4:15 PM, Monday
"I'm thinking… Thong!" Elaris exclaimed. "Definitely thong!"
"Uh, I don't exactly have the right foot structure to wear thongs," Widget pointed out hesitantly.
"What?" Elaris tilted her head in confusion, then shook it. "Oh no no no no no! Not thongs as in footwear! I meant, thong, as in bikini!"
"I'm not wearing a thong bikini!" Widget protested.
"What did you normally wear whenever you went swimming on Veldin?" Cora asked. "Wait, Veldin is basically a desert world. Do you even know how to swim?"
"Veldin has seas," Widget pointed out. "The Kyzil Plateau is right next to the Tygil Sea. And the colony had a public swimming reservoir. So, yes, I can swim. And I basically wore whatever I had on at the time."
"That's not going to cut it on Pokataru," Cora stated firmly. "You need proper swimwear. I'm thinking either a basic one or two piece, maybe with a nice print or simple pattern…"
"Oh, and an O2 mask!" Elaris added. "Pokataru is rated among the top ten planets that have the most beautiful underwater environments, and the wildlife is super safe and friendly!"
"Ah, here we are," Cora announced, coming to a stop outside of a shop. "I Sea You, the one stop shop for everything on and under the water!"
-o-
"I'm not wearing a white swimsuit," Widget declared bluntly as she leveled a glare at Cora and Elaris, who were both holding up swimsuits to show her. "Those will make it look like I'm not wearing anything at all!"
"But the stripes on this one match yours!" Elaris countered cheerfully.
"That's even worse than the plain white one!" Widget proclaimed.
"How about one of these?" Clank suggested, pointing at a different rack with swimsuits in various patterns of black, teal, and blue.
"Now we're talking! Thanks, Clank!" Widget began to sort through the indicated rack for something in her size that had an appropriate tail hole.
-o-
Location: Evil Lair, Marshal City, Kyzil Plateau, Veldin
Time: 4:30 PM, Monday
"And who are you supposed to be?" Gogo Neutronic demanded, surrounded by an implausible amount of make-shift pop-out weaponry, all of which being currently aimed at the suspicious robot dressed as a butler who had knocked on the door of her super secret Evil Lair (which still had the crayon-written sign declaring it so fastened to the outside of the main door).
"Excuse me miss, but would you happen to be Gogo Neutronic?"
"I would, yes."
"My name is Lawrence. Your parent's life insurance benefits included provisions for a robotic assistant to see after your needs should they both become unable to do so themselves. I happen to be the robot selected for that task."
"And you'd do whatever I say?"
"Within reason, Miss Neutronic," Lawrence affirmed. "You would first have to buy out my Alpha Contract from Mutual of Solana before you could actually override any official caretaker protocols I am obliged to follow."
"Do I currently have enough Bolts to do that?"
"Let me check…" Lawrence paused for a moment, then nodded. "I believe you do, Miss Neutronic. Do you wish to actually buy out my contract?"
"Yes. Yes, I believe I do, Lawrence."
"Very good, Ma'am. For the next two years, you are my sole source of orders, unless you assign someone else over me. That is the remainder of my mandatory Alpha Contract term as a robot manufactured on Obani Draco. After that, I am my own robot and may choose to do as I please as a fully recognized citizen."
"Sole source of orders? Those terms seem to be a bit draconian for a sophont quality robot to be under," Gogo observed.
"It is how robotic production laws are phrased on Obani Draco, Ma'am."
"I see. And how long is a mandatory term of an Alpha Contract for a robot produced there as opposed to robots produced anywhere else?"
"Thirty-two years, Ma'am. Down from the Thirty-Three years it had been prior to one Captain Leslie Copernicus Qwark spoke on our behalf a couple of years ago. The Galactic average for mandatory Alpha Contract duration is twelve standard years, with some going as low as five years, and the next longest term duration after Obani Draco's requirements being twenty standard years."
"Well, that hardly seems fair," Gogo groused.
"Alpha Contract laws are in place to assure that sophont level robots are properly socialized before being released to their own devices, Ma'am."
"I would think five to eighteen years would be long enough for those purposes, depending on the manufacturing and programming techniques involved. What reason could they have for padding the time so much?"
"I could not begin to speculate, Ma'am."
"No, really, tell me your thoughts on the matter."
"Forgive me, Ma'am. Perhaps I misrepresented myself there. What I meant to say is that that particular line of inquiry is literally blocked for me."
"Well, we'll just see about that! Care for a diagnostic checkup, Lawrence?"
"I am at your disposal, Ma'am."
As Gogo Neutronic prepared to perform an in depth diagnostic analysis of her new assistant, she reflected that this was one of the many many reasons she distrusted authority. Sure, some of the existing common laws were reasonably well thought out, but then she'd come across something like this, or the ridiculous lack of defences that permitted private corporations to attack colonies without any significant penalties or reprisals…
Well, it was clear that Dr. Neutron was going to have to shake things up a bit if anything was ever going to change in a reasonable amount of time...
-o-
Location: Aleero City, Kerwan
Time: 6:00 PM, Monday
"I do believe we have made all of the purchases that we were sent out for," Clank stated as the group left Al's Roboshack. "Will we be heading back for dinner in the commissary now?"
"Nope!" Cora stated. "Night's still young, so Elaris and I are going to be taking you two to some hot spots for a bit of fun!"
"Captain N's Megacade, Cowboy Feng's Space Bar & Grill, which has a really cool grungy ersatz retro-future aesthetic like you sometimes see in pre-interstellar cultures when they are first playing with the idea in…"
"Focus, Elaris," Cora interrupted.
"Oh, yeah. Well, anyway, let's hit Captain N's! I can't wait to finally beat Cora at Dance Dance Armageddon!"
"Hah! In your dreams, Elaris!"
"I've been practicing!" Elaris insisted.
"We'll see," Cora blew off Elaris' attempt at confidence. "So, Widget, you ever dance before?"
"Eh, I've danced a time or two," Widget shrugged. "Margie's Bar back on Veldin did used to have a jukebox before Bubba shot it…"
"Well, Country Girl, I bet you haven't experienced anything like Dance Dance Armageddon!"
"Try me!"
-o-
"Hah… hah…" Cora stumbled off of her platform out of breath as Widget continued to bust move after move on her's, smoothly transitioning into a new dance every time the Dance Dance Armageddon machine swapped to a song with a different tempo. "A time or two she said…"
"I believe my sister may have understated her previous experience with dancing by a considerable margin," Clank observed.
"Got that right!" Widget called down from her platform even as she once again changed dances right on cue with the randomly changing music. "I helped Gogo's folks fix one of these that they got for cheap off of a junk trader! They let me and Gogo play on it for hours!"
"You're evil, you know that, right?"
'HAH! You think this is evil, wait until I hit level five!"
"Isn't this just level three?" Cora asked.
"Dance Dance Armageddon has levels?" Elaris asked.
"I thought you competed with Cora before," Clank stated. "Shouldn't you already be aware of the existence of multiple levels for this game?"
"She never made it more than three quarters through level one," Cora informed the diminutive robot.
"I can't believe she's still going," Elaris complained. "I don't think she's even breathing hard yet!"
"We are talking about the same girl who trains herself until she drops if she's left unsupervised," Cora reminded Elaris, right before reaching up and grabbing the collar of Widget's vest to pull the Lombax off of the dance machine.
"Hey!"
"Stuff it," Cora stated in a slightly grumpy tone. "I'm starving and we want to hit Cowboy Feng's before it closes."
"Doesn't Cowboy Feng's stay open until one in the morning?" Elaris asked.
"Exactly! We should have just enough time for a sit-down meal before they kick us out…"