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Chapter 41: A Tragedy or a Comedy?

When I returned to Netherfield after the service, I retreated to my quarters and sulked. I was out of sorts, knowing that all that I desired most was still being denied me. I kept thinking of how Elizabeth was only a few minutes away by horse, but she might as well have been in Scotland as she was equally inaccessible for now. I only left my chambers for a good dinner and sleep escaped me for much of the night.

The next day, I arose early and fiddled with Miss Elizabeth's ribbon. I only had a bit of toast that morning, for my stomach rejected the thought of anything more, anxious as I was to see what would happen when Mr. Bennet called upon me.

Soon, I retreated to the study, leaving orders that when Mr. Bennet called, he was to be taken to me there. It amused me to leave identical orders and meet in the same general setting as I had met with the Earl, though as the servants at Netherfield were entirely different than those at my London house other than my valet, Jeffrey, it was an amusement in which they could not share. However, it was also reassuring for me to set the stage in a similar manner. I could and would prevail.

When I had first arrived in Netherfield as its master, I had the furniture in the study rearranged as closely as possible to match that at my London house, which was likewise similar though on a smaller scale to that at Pemberley. Thus, my back was to a window, the desk faced the door, and two chairs were in front of the desk, with bookcases flanking the side walls. As I waited, I wrote a letter to Georgiana, informing her of my safe arrival and what had initially occurred in Hertfordshire but left the rest blank, setting it aside to be added to after my meeting. I was again reviewing my new will and the proposed settlement articles when Mr. Bennet was shown into my study.

I rose to meet him, we greeted each other and then we both sat down. I waited for him to begin. I noted after he sat, that he seemed less angry and less distressed than the day before, but I still had no idea what he might be currently thinking or feeling. I hoped that his words would make the matter clear.

"Mr. Darcy," said he, "I know who are my betters in consequence. All my life, I have been served well by deferring to them, as I well know my place in this world, but I find myself at a loss as to how to do that in this current situation I find myself in. Both you and your uncle the Earl are the kind of men to whom I should never dare refuse anything which either of you condescended to ask, yet to the best of my knowledge your requests are in direct opposition to one another."

"But they are not any longer," I told him. "Surely your daughter has explained how he has conceded, and you have seen his note, too."

Mr. Bennet shrugged and responded, "On this matter, I am uncertain if you are correct. I do not doubt that you mean what you say, even may have good reasons for believing you are correct, but those of privilege are often mercurial and might change their minds upon a whim. Please, Mr. Darcy, try to understand that I am unwilling to chance my family's safety simply upon your suppositions. Try to consider how it all seems to me."

I nodded and waited to see if he would expound upon that statement. Very soon he did.

"Only weeks ago, I was instructed by the Earl of Matlock through his agent Mr. Wilmington to keep my daughter Lizzy away from you as you are intended for another and that he would have others watch to make sure you stayed away from Longbourn. You then quit the field in apparent defeat," he raised his hand to indicate I should remain silent, "though my Brother Gardiner and my daughter said it was to prepare to oppose him, but then you reappear, asserting that you have reached some understanding with the Earl, that his foregoing threats and opposition no longer apply. However, your proof of such is that he writes you to pay for your clock, apparently embarrassed for having broken it. I am well known for making sport of my neighbors but in this regard I currently feel as if someone is making sport of me."

He shook his head before beginning to recount why this was so. "Yesterday, my household was in an uproar after my daughter Jane discussed with Mrs. Bennet how she and Lizzy met with you in secret, and that you came back to Netherfield to court my Lizzy, have been in love with her since the autumn. Jane told my wife that your uncle, the Earl of Matlock, had strenuously objected to the match, but that you had convinced him that you were unalterably fixed on gaining Lizzy's hand. The way she told it, we must all laud you as a romantic hero and, if given appropriate support, and some further time with Lizzy, were likely to quickly propose. Almost immediately my wife, who had frequently called you a disagreeable man from whom we needed no favors, began singing your praises to the whole household and declaring that I must call upon you and invite you for dinner.

"When I tried to explain that the situation was more complicated than that, and that they should defer to my judgment, I found no support. Everything was topsy-turvy with my children insisting that my wife was wiser in this matter than I, with her having the right of things and me being an obstinate man when I seek to exercise a bit of caution. Mary, who I can usually count upon to quote Fordyce and the Bible regarding how Lizzy should honor her father, said 'I shall not take sides here, for I must also honor her mother.'

"But almost immediately she began advocating for Lizzy to marry you, for she scolded me, 'Do you not know it is far better to marry than to burn with lust,' adding 'can you not see the wisdom of letting them marry? If I am not mistaken, Lizzy is so taken with the man that she might be willing to continue risking her reputation with clandestine meetings. Please, Papa, consider the fragility and brittleness of her reputation! Right now, we are pitied for how Jane was spurned by Mr. Bingley, but if Lizzy marries well, all of Meryton will be convinced we are the most fortunate of families.'

"I tried to talk some sense into Lizzy, thinking if she could be reasonable, I could get the others in line, but she seems to have switched roles with my Lydia. Lizzy all but declared it was her right to defy my authority by seeking you out for clandestine meetings, though at least chaperoned, and her conscience seems as little pricked by these acts of rebellion as Lydia would have been. Yesterday when I told her she should remain at home for I would not see her speak to you at church, she declared that she would attend church and see you whether I liked it or not. She said, 'While you may exclude me from the carriage, unless you intend to lock me up, I shall simply walk to church.'

I could not help but smile in hearing about my beloved's determination to see me. But a little worry crossed my mind as to whether if she thought herself in the right, she might be as rebellious toward me.

Mr. Bennet continued to explain, "What with my wife carrying on about the indignity of Lizzy arriving by foot when the rest of us traveled by carriage, eventually I conceded, in the thought that at least I would guard her well and keep my family away from you, so as not to antagonize a potentially vengeful Earl. But I was stymied at every turn, in a manner that could only be deliberate.

"While usually it is I who is waiting for Mrs. Bennet and our daughters to be ready (frequently we are among the last to enter the church), my wife and daughters were very sly. For when I was detained by settling a dispute between two servants, they set out for church without me! I was not given even a single hint that they were about to depart.

"Once I sorted out the matter and discovered that the rest of my family had left. I decided it was of no account, for I could simply ride. But my stallion was turned out in the field, although he had just been turned out the day before. This could have been mere happenstance but given that this caused an additional delay in my departure as it took some time for him to be fetched and saddled, I am almost certain that my whole household conspired against me, likely with the complicity of our help.

"It is an odd thing to have my youngest girls acting in solidarity with their elders, although I think, perhaps, they have improved based upon the new influence of Mrs. Pope. For you see, Kitty and Lydia are now crowing of all the accomplishments they plan to master from their hidden talents that she has uncovered, for they much desire to show their elder sisters up. While a red coat can still turn their head, I have detected a modicum of good sense in them.

"But you can hardly blame me for acting as I have in trying to protect my family; I alone have not taken leave of my senses and I am loath to tell my wife the severity of the threats made by the Earl, in fear she will have conniptions, perhaps even be rendered insensate or be struck dead. On Saturday when you attempted to call, I immediately complied with Mr. Wilmington's request that I keep him apprised of your movements to and from our environs and informed him that I would not admit you, but now it seems I should have also inquired whether there is any cause for altering my behavior toward you. I request that you stay away from Longbourn and my daughter until I have some confirmation that I do not risk their safety by admitting you."

"Is your belief in my uncle's opposition is the only barrier to the grant of your permission for me to wed your daughter Miss Elizabeth?" I asked.

Mr. Bennet's head bobbed slightly. I could not decide if it was a nod or not. "I was concerned at first about all of those rumors that apparently originated with that Wickham fellow. I was also worried as I had understood before Lizzy traveled to Kent that, at best, she was indifferent to you. In this she showed good judgment because as everyone knew you were a proud, unpleasant sort of man. I would not have her in an unequal marriage, joined to someone she could not respect, the fate that has befallen me.

"However, having become better acquainted with your character, Lizzy has reassured me that your manner was not from improper pride but your way of protecting yourself and masking your difficulties. She has explained them in some detail, but also tells me that you are an intelligent and thoughtful man. Lizzy told me that not only does she like you now, but that she loves you and you love her as well."

Mr. Bennet looked at me and gave a small sigh. His years seemed to weigh heavy on him in that moment. "You have proven yourself generally worthy by having recognized the precious jewel that my daughter Lizzy is. I trust Gardiner's judgment and you have gained his respect. He is convinced you are a good and honorable man. My cousin Collins was rather put out that you did not proceed to court her under his auspices but knowing Mr. Collins I can hardly blame you for that. While Lizzy is still young and perhaps naïve, she is not one to act impulsively or without thought and has reassured me that her acceptance of your proposal had naught to do with your consequence in life, although she did tell me 'Papa, he has so many under his care that I know my life would be meaningful as his help meet.'

"Perhaps someday you will have daughters and understand, to a father, no suitors are ever worthy of his daughters. But I would not deny my daughter's happiness due to my own selfishness. Too, if all is at the point of being settled, it would be better to have you simply engaged and then married, rather than having to see you court for months at any public gatherings and have you risk her reputation further by engaging in additional secret rendezvous. If the Earl had not objected, I would have had you court under the supervision of my family and likely been eager to hurry the matter up so I would not be subject to you making calf eyes at each other for the duration.

"If it can be proven that you truly no longer face the opposition of your family, I will deem you worthy of Lizzy's hand. If only you could marry immediately and be off before my dear wife of these many years makes me wish to deafen my ears so I may avoid more talk of silk and lace as well as being berated over me having been inhospitable to her now favorite daughter's intended. Though of course you understand, I am loath to part with Lizzy for anyone."

Mr. Bennet finally fell silent, so I summarized what I believed was the import of his words. I was hopeful that I had secured his conditional, permission to marry my love, but I worried that I had somehow misunderstood. "If I understand correctly, once you are assured that the Earl no longer disapproves, you will give us permission to marry? And if you do so, it is your personal preference is that we marry sooner if possible?"

"Yes, you have understood exactly."

Just then there was a loud knocking on my study door. "You have a messenger," one of the servants called through the door.

"He may come in," I rejoined, curious.

When the interloper entered, I found it was a messenger in the livery of the Earl.

The man bowed, and I expected him to hand me a letter, but instead, with a grand flourish he pulled a missive out of the top of his boot and handed it to Mr. Bennet. As he pulled it out, I noticed it was not the only piece of paper in there. I thought it an odd place to keep correspondence but thought perhaps he had transferred it from a saddle bag to his boot so that his hands might remain free.

The messenger said, "I was bid to deliver this into your hand, Mr. Bennet, by order of the Earl of Matlock. Your housekeeper said I would find you here. I do not need to wait for a reply." I expected him then to retrieve a letter for me, too, but as soon as Mr. Bennet took the letter, the man bowed once more and departed, closing my study door.

Mr. Bennet joked, "Now I must be in a play by the Bard. I wonder what manner of play it shall be." He broke the wax seal, which was imprinted with the Earl's coat of arms, and scanned it quickly before announcing, "Ah, it is a comedy."

He passed the paper to me, and I read:

Dear Mr. Bennet,

Please pass along my best greetings to my nephew Darcy and your daughter, his fiancée. May I be the first to offer them my sincere felicitations for their happiness and health. I look forward to meeting my newest niece when they next visit London.

Sincerely,

Dudley Fitzwilliam, the Earl of Matlock

And as simply as that, the questions of Mr. Bennet's consent and whether I would be admitted to Longbourn were resolved. I could foresee no further barriers in our way, and oh, how happy this made me! I dearly wished to express my happiness in some tangible way, but I feared doing anything that might make my soon-to-be new father withdraw his consent.

Mr. Bennet did not seem exactly happy, but he seemed more relaxed, perhaps even content. We spent a few more minutes in conversation and he reviewed my proposed marital settlement and signed, signaling his approval.

I then asked, "When may I call upon her? When may we marry?"

Mr. Bennet responded, "Tonight, come an hour before dinner. I shall inform Lizzy of what has occurred but wish to keep the matter secret from my wife until announcing the engagement at dinner. It shall be amusing to see how Mrs. Bennet reacts and whether she is more or less decorous in her effusions with a large captive audience in attendance.

"As for the other question, that one shall be more suitably directed Lizzy, or rather Mrs. Bennet. Although I would be in favor of a quicker marriage, prefer less fuss, undoubtedly my wife will not feel the same."

The hours before I was to visit Longbourn passed both too quickly and too slowly. Immediately after Mr. Bennet departed, I walked to my room, but then locked the door and gave myself over to expressing my happiness in relative privacy. Like a young child surprised with a special toy, I gamboled all over my room, skipping, leaping and dancing with joy. And while I did all this, a smile was affixed to my face; indeed, my face began to ache from holding a smile so long!

When I was finally tuckered out, I seated myself and began to talk nonsense to myself, for the first time giving myself the freedom to address her as mine and trying out variations of her name: "my Elizabeth, my lovely Lizzy, my enchanting Eliza, oh my Liza, sweet Lila, darling Liz, my own Lizzy-Beth, my precious Little-Beth."

I asked the presence of her I felt in the room with me various questions: "Beloved Beth, when shall you like to marry? Lovely Lizzy, shall we spend the season, in town or in the country? Darling, would you like to visit the seaside with me? Shall we bring sister Jane to Pemberley? My love, how shall we spend the evening?"

For each hypothetical question I asked, I could imagine her response, how she smiled and tilted her head and how she let me hold her hands or lean her against my side, or let me put my arm around her and hold her tight. But as wonderful as all these imaginings were, I could not wait to be with her again in the flesh, real and warm, unpredictable and marvelous and to see her expression now that we both knew that the promise for future happiness was upon us, rather than just over the horizon.

After this bit of rest, I told myself, "I cannot believe it! It cannot be true."

Then I answered myself, "It is true, it is true, you shall marry her." And then oh how I lept up and danced again and ran about the room. Then I grabbed a post of the bed (interlacing my fingers) and leaned back, while swinging myself back and forth, until my hands and shoulders began to ache.

Although I loved how I was feeling, something that I can only imagine might be called heartfelt delight, I knew I had to settle myself down into the semblance of a proper gentleman, so forced myself to slow down and become quiet, thoughtful. All the beauty I was feeling was forced inward and I felt it deeply. I was so very thankful that I almost cried. But that would not do, either.

I requested a bath, even though I had taken one just the day before and knew it was an awful lot of work for the servants to fetch all that water and warm it. By the time the water was warmed and poured into the tub, I was able to settle enough to climb in the tub and let the warmth relax me. Eventually the evening did arrive, and I dressed for dinner in the clothes that Jeffrey laid out for me, not getting any assistance from him until I was mostly dressed. He tied my cravat and helped me put on my waist coat and coat.

Usually, Jeffrey goes about his duties silently, which is generally what I prefer, but on this evening, he said, "Mr. Darcy, you look happy; I am glad."

Normally any comment by him I meet with a nod, but on this occasion my joy could not be contained. "You may congratulate me Jeffrey, I finally have the approval of Miss Elizabeth's father and tonight our engagement will be announced. However, not a word of it must get out until after I return."

I smiled widely and while his smile was more restrained, I felt he approved.

"Might I suggest you bring your intended roses, sir?" Jeffrey suggested. "The gardens are full in bloom and she might appreciate the gesture."

I thought it a lovely idea and assented, not knowing what would follow. I thought perhaps someone would fetch me shears and a basket, but apparently the master cannot simply gather roses by himself and so a gardener was summoned to assist me. He arrived with his assistant and then asked me, "Do you wish me to select the flowers myself or do you wish to do it?"

I told him I would do it, and before we went out to the garden, two footmen were also assigned to accompany us. We walked out to the garden and I gestured to some pretty pink roses and said, "I would like to cut some of those." I held out my hands for the shears he was holding but he shook his head and began to instruct his assistant and the footmen as to what he wished them to do, while I merely stood and watched.

His assistant held each thorny branch still as the gardener cut the roses. Then his assistant deposited each cut stalk into one of two waiting baskets held by the footmen. I walked further in the rose garden and selected red roses, pink roses, yellow roses and white roses. I knew each had a different meaning, yet I thought each applied to the whole scope of my relationship to my beloved.

I thought simply giving Miss Elizabeth the cut blooms would be fine, but apparently it was the province of the housekeeper to arrange for her assistant to perfect each flower's placement in a vase. I waited, antsy until it should be given into my hands. Now the time was growing short, but even after the arrangement was deemed ready by Mrs. Nicholls, it was not given to me. Instead, apparently, I could not be trusted to hold it while riding my horse. So, instead, a footman was directed to hold the vase as it traveled to Longbourn by carriage.

The whole production seemed overblown, but I did like how the flowers ended up arranged and that all were so solicitous. Probably the Netherfield servants suspected something of what only Jeffrey actual knew. Thus, instead of riding to Longbourn myself and being unfashionably early, I ended up departing fifteen minutes after I had planned while being escorted by my carriage as well. Once I dismounted and handed my mount off, the footman deigned to hand me the vase and then returned to Netherfield with the carriage.