Chapter 52
Christian
Ros walks into my office unannounced with a satisfied smirk on her face. "Whatever you did, you did good. The green team just informed me that the interest in our environmental audit program is up 250%."
"Thanks for knocking," I say sarcastically. She shrugs, unabashed. "So, staying in the most vapid city in the continental U.S. for one more day wasn't a total waste."
"I'd say not." She walks further into the room and plops herself onto one of the chairs in front of my desk. "It's good to have you back in the office, boss."
She sounds uncharacteristically sincere, softening my irritation at her presumptuous entrance. "It's good to be back."
We got back from LA a few days ago. I've pretty much transitioned back into my old role, going into the office each day, while still limiting my hours in house enough that I see Ana and the kids every night and finish up whatever else needs my attention in the evenings. Things feel so much more… normal. Now that we see each other so regularly, we don't have to be spending every second doing something together, and it still feels like quality time. Sometimes we just work on our respective projects in the same room and that's pleasant enough.
But I'm also noticing that I miss the activities we've been doing together. It's been a few weeks at this point since we've had a proper date, couples therapy definitely not counting. I think we both need a little more down time in our life going forward. It's an aspect I'm certainly not ready to give up.
As if she can hear my train of thought, Ros makes another comment. "It seems like you and Ana are getting back to your old, nauseating selves."
This makes me crack a smile. "I think so. I appreciate you holding down the fort here for a while so I could fix my fucking life."
"How much credit can I take for this?"
"A fair bit," I admit. "You finally made me wake up and realize that I was actually losing her."
"Feel free to tell me if I'm out of line… but what on earth made you think that you didn't deserve her, enough to go on like that for so long?"
Whoa. I'm alarmed with the depth this conversation has taken on. I could tell her she's out of line, but given that she was in the trenches with me during the darkest parts of it, I figure I can at least give her some explanation. "We had a lot of undiscussed things between us, and I had a lot of things I hadn't… fully dealt with. The combination of all of it made me question everything. Now we have it all out in the open and we're moving forward."
She smiles genuinely. "Well, if that's the outcome, I'm happy to have lent you my services. Now just go ahead and email my assistant to let me know when my month-long vacation is."
I scoff. "You couldn't turn your brain off for a full month and you know it."
"Fine. But if Gwen decides to divorce me after three-plus months of running the show around here, I expect you to do the same."
"Fair enough." I give her a nod and she finally removes her ass from my chair and returns to her own office.
I return to the spreadsheets and see that it's almost 5:30. About time to be heading home. I pick up my phone to text Ana and see if she wants to do anything different given that it's Friday night, when my intercom buzzes to life.
"Mr. Grey, you have a few… unscheduled visitors," Andrea informs me, her voice tinged with amusement.
Before I can respond, the door swings open and Mia and Elliot waltz through. "Good afternoon, Mr. Grey," Mia says haughtily. "We have arrived to force you to have fun and do something different for an evening."
"Excuse me?" I laugh.
"You heard her, man. It's time for some drastic measures. We've realized that if we ever want to hang with you, we're going to have to kidnap you," Elliot says with a grin.
"I see. And what are we doing?"
"You'll see. Just let it happen. Come on." Mia skips around the side of my desk and hauls me out of my chair by the hand. "Resistance is futile. Oh, but change first. I brought you some normal people clothes." She hands me a bag.
Oh, Lord help me.
"Mile High?" I ask as we get out of the car. I made Mia ride with me and Taylor. Resistance may be futile, but I'm not dealing with her driving on top of being kidnapped.
"Just for dinner," she answers. "The real fun starts after."
Elliot meets us in the lobby, as do Kate and Ezra, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. No Ana? I'm hit with a pang of disappointment. And what the fuck is the occasion?
Elliot bumps my shoulder with his. "It's cool, bro. She knows and she's all about it."
"She didn't want to come?" I do my best not to sound like a sulky teenager. I'm coming to rely on my evening Ana time.
He shrugs. "Mia talked to her, ask her."
"Hey, Christian," Kate says amiably. Interesting.
"Kate."
"Always a pleasure, Christian," Ezra says as we shake hands.
We step into the elevator and Mia nudges me as it smoothly travels upward. "I know you don't like surprises, but you deserve a normal, fun night out."
I sigh. My annoying, well-meaning sister. "I appreciate it, Mimi."
She beams. "Just try to relax and enjoy it? Maybe you'll surprise yourself and you'll like it."
"I'll try. Where's Ana?"
"She said something about not feeling well, but she insisted that we do this without her and hopes you have the best time."
"Is she sick?" She didn't mention anything.
"No, I don't think so, she just said something about wanting a chill night with the kids." She smirks. "If you're going to have a conniption about it, you can just call her before we order." I roll my eyes, but I plan to do just that.
Mia greets the hostess enthusiastically and we are escorted to a secluded table. A few heads turn in recognition as we make our way there, but the table is out of direct sight of all the other patrons. Sometimes it's good to be me.
I excuse myself under the guise of using the restroom, getting a wink from Mia, and quickly tap Ana's contact. She answers in one ring. "Hey, I was just texting you."
"About what? Are you okay?"
"Yes," she laughs. "Just to wish you a good time tonight."
"Oh. Okay. Mia said you weren't feeling well?"
"I'm okay, just a little… tired. Nothing to worry about. I'm planning a wild night of Disney movies with our offspring."
I chuckle. "Wild, indeed. That sounds better than this."
"Christian," she says in a chastising voice. "Remember how I told you that one day you'll have to realize that you have people who love you? That goes for others besides me. They love you and they're trying to show you. It just so happens that spending time with you isn't easy because if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of monopolizing you."
"You can monopolize me anytime, baby," I say in an exaggeratedly suave voice.
She giggles. Mission accomplished. I think I'm getting good at jokes. "You know what I mean. I'm just excited that they're doing this for you, and that you haven't absconded."
"Is that Daddy?!" I hear Teddy's voice and then Ana's laugh.
"Yeah, you wanna say hi?"
I hear rustling on the other end. "Hi, Daddy! I'm eating ice cream!" he says through a garbled voice.
"Ice cream? Wow! What kind?"
"Chocolate!" Yep, he's definitely my son. "It's Daddy, Fifi, say hi!"
"Hi, Daddy! I love you!" she giggles. My heart melts. Her l's still sound like w's sometimes and I can't get enough of it.
"Okay, Daddy has to go now. We'll see him really soon," Ana says, and I can tell she's smiling.
"I want to come back there tonight." It's not really a question, more just stating the obvious. We haven't spent a night together in a while, but Flynn said I should work on stating my wants.
"Please do," she says sweetly, and I feel ten feet tall. "I love you. Have fun."
"Bye, Daddy!" I hear two little voices scream.
"I love you. All of you. See you later, baby."
When I return to the table, I'm feeling more cheerful about this situation. Going out with a group is a little out of my comfort zone, especially lately, but I'll try to keep an open mind.
"How's Ana?" Elliot says with a wink.
"She's good," I say plainly. I love my wife, bro, I'm not ashamed of it.
"Don't be a dick," Kate mutters. An unexpected defense, but I'll take it.
After we order, Ezra starts to engage me in conversation about GEH's environmentalism efforts. It surprises me how much I enjoy talking to him, given that I used to hate his guts. That seems like it was ages ago now. Ana nailed it when she said that their relationship is more like mine with Mia. And I might even approve of this guy for Mia. He seems to appear everywhere she is. By the time the food arrives, I think we might be becoming friends. Who'd have thunk?
His interest leads to more questions from Mia and Elliot, and even Kate, which is the most interest any of them have ever shown in what I do, apart from Elliot and Mia trying to obtain investments from me for their businesses. To my surprise, I am actually enjoying myself. It's nice not to have a meal alone, and it's even a nice reprieve from dining with two small children.
"Okay!" Mia claps her hands together as soon as most plates are empty. "Time for phase two. I have already informed all of you of the address, minus our guest of honor. Let's get moving!" I feel a somewhat juvenile pleasure at being referred to as the guest of honor.
Mia rides with me again, and I take the opportunity to address a small elephant in the room. "Why is Kate here?"
"She actually volunteered to come. I was also a tad surprised." She shrugs. "She probably wants to make amends for being a dick to you."
I glance out the window. "Maybe it was warranted," I mutter.
Mia reaches across the car and slaps my arm. "Christian Grey, you stop that right now." I'm taken aback by the fervor in her voice. "You know what? Let's just go ahead and go there. What you did to your family, especially Ana and the kids, was hurtful. That's obvious. But you were not being malicious. You needed help. And you've done nothing but take accountability and become a better man since you had that wake-up call. Your actions had consequences and you've risen to the challenge. The fact that you and Ana are doing so well isn't just by chance. You worked for it. Give yourself credit and take a look around. So many people love you. I'm not doing all this tonight for any reason other than I love you and I miss you and I want to spend time with you. Elliot and I have been plotting for weeks how to get you out with us. Why? We love you. So, tell that stupid negative voice in your head that keeps punishing you for your past mistakes to take a hike and stop being mean to my brother."
There's an unmistakable fire in her unwavering gaze. I stare at her with my mouth ajar for a moment, genuinely left speechless.
"I know it's hard for you to hear," she continues. "But I'll just keep telling you until it's not. And by the way, I don't want this night to be a one-off. I want us all to spend time together. Ana, too. I love you guys. I'm not going back to life with you two on the outskirts."
I'm in awe of the heart within my pushy, maddening, wonderful little sister. The words that finally find me feel perfectly natural. "I love you, too, Mimi. And I'm actually grateful that you abducted me. I'm having a great time tonight."
She breaks into a huge smile. "You are?" I nod, smiling just as big. "I knew you weren't all a hermit!"
We soon pull up to what is obviously a bar. I can't say I'm too shocked. Mia and Elliot's ideas of fun haven't changed too much over the years. Elliot, Kate, and Ezra are all waiting outside, and we've apparently been joined by Ethan Kavanaugh as well.
"Oh, hey, Ethan!" Mia calls. "Cool that you could make it. This is Ezra Thomas, producer extraordinaire and newest Grey family groupie."
"Oh yeah, Ana's coworker," he says dismissively.
Ezra shrugs. "I spend more time with Mia lately, actually." She giggles.
Ethan's mouth twists a bit like he's got a case of sour grapes, and they shake hands stoically. I think I'm witnessing what Ana would refer to as a pissing contest. Guess you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, Kavanaugh. I'm not sure exactly what went down between him and my sister, but I know he never defined the relationship.
Mia jubilantly tells an employee that we've rented the party room, and they lead us to the back of the building, in a semi-private area. It's not technically a room, because it doesn't have walls, but it's removed from the rest of the seating. What catches my attention the most is that this place is full of games. There's pool tables, pinball machines, dart boards, skee ball, and an impressive collection of board games. Combined with the well-stocked bar, it's the perfect marriage between childhood and adult fun.
"Okay, I need to get some real drinks in me, and then it's you and me versus the pool table, Ethan," Elliot shouts.
We all tell Ezra our drink orders, who insists on meticulously describing how to make each one to the bartender. I imagine that would probably ordinarily be annoying, but he recognizes him and they take a selfie, so fame seems to have saved him here. Once we're armed with alcohol, Elliot, Ethan, and Mia all head off towards the game area, while Ezra, Kate, and I opt to stay in the party room and play Cards Against Humanity.
"It's a shame the queen of this game couldn't make it tonight," Kate comments. We both laugh at this. Yes, Ana is frighteningly good at this game. My little freak.
"Ana?" Ezra says skeptically.
"Oh, yeah, dude. She looks real cute, but her mind is filthy," Kate confirms. Yes, it is.
"She's full of surprises," Ezra chuckles.
"I wish she were here tonight," I muse. I am having fun, but there is a noticeable missing piece to tonight.
"Me too, but you can't blame her for being a little agoraphobic," Kate says as she deals the cards. "The last time she left the house, a fucking psycho tackled her." A fucking psycho who I will personally ensure will never work in media or anywhere else that he can get near another human being again. I wonder if that incident really is what prompted her to stay in tonight. I can't say I'm entirely displeased by this. As much as I miss her, it is very crowded in here, and she tends to turn heads.
Ezra nods gravely. "I was about to take him down myself before the actual trained security team took over."
Kate raises an eyebrow at me. "If Christian had been there, the security team wouldn't have had time to blink before that dude's face was being pounded into the pavement."
"If I had been there, his face would still be one with the pavement," I say seriously. I wish it was. The cards are dealt now, and we begin to play.
Several drinks and two rounds of Cards Against Humanity later, one of which I can proudly report that I won, Ezra slaps his glass down and looks between me and Kate. "Okay, real talk, I thought you two hated each other." Well, his inhibitions are gone.
Kate actually blushes. "I… I mean… look. We both love Ana. That makes us clash sometimes." She sighs. "But you know what? Christian's been really doing the damn thing lately. And Ana seems happy. So, we're good. If you think so, anyway. I know that I've been… unfair to you."
Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, or maybe it's the liquor, but another apology from Kate, this time unprompted from Ana, is a pleasant surprise. "I've been unfair to a lot of people. Let's just call it even." She smiles and holds out her hand for a handshake, and our truce officially begins.
"Did I just witness the signing of a treaty?" Ezra asks.
"Yes. England just witnessed the end of the Civil War." We all crack up, turning a few heads at the bar, but I don't think any of us care. I sure don't.
"God bless America!" Ezra yells.
"God save the Queen!" Kate yells louder.
"God, would you shut the fuck up?!" Elliot screams from the other side of the bar, and we're in stitches again.
I shake my head at the ridiculousness of this night and finish my drink. "As long as we're asking blunt questions, what is going on between you and Mia?" I ask Ezra.
He turns pale and Kate guffaws. "Oooh, excellent question. Yes, do enlighten us."
He swallows nervously. "Ana has already done this, you know." This doesn't surprise me, given her comments in Lake Tahoe.
"Well, Ana is annoyingly noble and doesn't tell other people's secrets. So, spill," Kate says, leaning in. Give her a table lamp to shine in his face and she'd be the bad cop.
"We're… I mean… we…" He sighs. "I like her a lot. But we haven't had the talk yet."
"What do you want?" I press. "Mia doesn't like to play games and she has a giant heart. So, back the fuck off if you're not planning on sticking around."
"Yep. Ethan learned that the hard way," Kate mutters. "He came here tonight to scope out the competition, and now he's just pissy that Mia doesn't seem to give a fuck anymore."
"Did he say that?" Ezra chuckles.
"No, but he's my brother. I can read him. He's been waffling over Mia for years. It's fucking annoying."
"Are you avoiding a question, Thomas? What do you want with my sister?" I reiterate.
"Okay, okay! I… I want a relationship with her. But I haven't even told her that yet, and… it's been a very long time."
"That's surprising. You're a little English crumpet. You seem like a real catch," Kate says. "But if you want relationship out of the blue advice, Christian is probably your man. Dude was a total loner before he met Ana." She winks at me, knowing that isn't entirely true, but those relationships did nothing to fulfill me.
"That shocks me. I don't bat for that team, but even I can see that you're… I don't know, bordering on a Greek god. However Ana put it," he laughs. "How did you know she was different?"
"As corny as it sounds… you just know. From the moment I laid eyes on her, she was different. It was like her spirit called out to mine on a level I'd never experienced before. Once someone is under your skin and in your head like that, there's no going back. For me, I know there's not. I don't see life without her, and if I do, I don't want it."
Kate and Ezra are both looking at me with goofy smiles on their faces. Just as I start to get self-conscious, Kate finally turns and pats Ezra on the shoulder. "Aren't they gross?"
"Sickening," he agrees. "You've given me a lot to think about. And trust me that I want nothing more than to see Mia happy, and if I feel I can't provide that, I'll remove myself from the situation. I won't waste her time."
"You'd better not," I say, a veiled warning.
"Hey!" Mia skips up to the table. "I kicked those boys' asses at pool. What are you guys talking about?"
Ezra smiles like an idiot as soon as she steps into view. Okay, he's got it bad.
"Nothing, really," Kate says. "Who's up for skee ball?"
Mia yawns theatrically as we step into the foyer sometime after midnight. Since her car is still at Grey House, she requested to crash with me and Ana tonight. "Ana?" she calls a little too loudly.
"Mia, shut the fuck up," I hiss. "My kids are asleep."
"Oh, yeah," she whispers. "Sorry."
"Mia, if you wake up my babies, I'm gonna fucking kill you," Ana whisper-yells down the hall. I see we are of one mind on this.
"Ana!" she squeals, throwing her bag aside and running towards the sound of her voice. I follow her into the kitchen, finding her hugging Ana tightly. "We missed you! Hey, you're so pretty. Anyone ever tell you that?" she slurs.
"Aw," Ana chuckles. "And you're so drunk." She looks up and smiles when she sees me lingering in the doorway. My already tipsy head feels a little lighter at the sight of it.
"I'm gonna go to bed. See you in the morning! And I'll be quiet, don't worry. Kids are sleeping. Shhhhhh," Mia says exaggeratedly.
I roll my eyes. "Goodnight, Mia." She takes off her heels and tiptoes down the hall.
"Well, she seems like she had fun tonight," Ana says, amused. She walks forward and wraps her arms around my neck, gently pulling me down closer to her face. "How about you?"
Her smell is instantly calming and arousing at the same time, swirling around my jumbled head like a thick fog. "I had fun. Like, really had fun. But I missed the fuck out of you," I say, leaning down to greet her lips in a more pleasant, wordless way.
She giggles and pulls away. "Wow. You taste like Christian and alcohol. Do you need me to wash your face tonight for a change?"
I laugh and nuzzle her nose with mine. "Very funny. It's been a minute since you and I had a night on the couch. Shall we?"
"I do enjoy a couch with you." She takes my hand and leads me in that direction, but we both stop and break into giggles in the doorway when we see that Mia didn't make it to the stairs. She's sprawled out on the couch and snoring. "Perhaps now is the time to graduate to a bedroom, then."
"Just throw me somewhere I can sleep and somewhere that you are."
She laughs at my groggy voice. "Okay, okay, come on, tipsy." She takes my hand again and pulls me towards the stairs.
I wake, unsure exactly why, and I stretch out my arm to pull Ana to me. Her side is empty, the covers tossed aside, but still warm. So, that's why I'm up.
We ultimately decided to crash in the bedroom she's been occupying. It's still dark, clearly nighttime out, and I'm not interested in sleeping without her, so I sit up and make to get up and search for her. I first notice that she left a glass of ice water on my side, so I drain it. My, how the tables have turned.
I step out into the hall, expecting to find light coming from downstairs, but instead I see light peeking through a door that's cracked open. The last door I expected to find her through. I walk closer and see that my eyes aren't deceiving me.
I push the door in enough to peek my head through. There's one bedside lamp on, and Ana is sitting on the floor of our bedroom near the bottom of the bed, flipping through a notebook. I recognize it as one of the notebooks she writes in.
I lean against the door a little too much and it makes a small creaking noise. She gasps quietly and turns her head in alarm, relaxing when she sees that it's me. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. "Did I wake you?"
"Only because you left." I take a cautious step inside. "What are you doing in here?"
She looks down at the notebook, then closes it, looking back up at me and patting the floor next to her. I cross the room and sink down beside her, wrapping an arm around her.
She leans her head against my shoulder. "I used to sit in here… before. Right here, with this book, wondering how to get up the next day," she says quietly. I stiffen, but remain quiet, realizing that she's opening up to me. "I'd flip through what I wrote and try to imagine how to do life without you. Almost every night. That's why I couldn't sleep in here anymore once we separated. I've been worried that it would always feel like that. That even if we did make it through this… this room would always have ghosts in it for me."
I swallow. "Does it?" I whisper.
She sighs and turns her head, kissing my shoulder. "No. Sitting here in the same spot with the same book… it feels like a different life. I remember all those painful nights in here, but I also remember all the beautiful times that came before it… and, I hope, after it." I feel like a pile of bricks has been lifted off my chest to hear those words. I could almost cry with relief. "I thought I'd be stuck in my head about the pain I went through… but reading the same things I wrote during that time, now I think about you. You were hurting, too, at the very same time I was." She takes my hand and brings it up to her lips. "I think we don't need to hurt anymore."
Is she saying what I think she's saying? "Oh, Ana." I turn her head to face me and stroke her cheeks, brushing her hair back so her face is unobstructed. "I want to be here again. All the time."
She smiles, and her eyes look glassy from tears in the dim light. "I know. I want that, too." I kiss her before she can say anything else. She moves into my lap and ends up straddling me, rubbing against me in the most tantalizingly painful way. I groan, and she pulls back, cheeks burning. "Wait."
I pause to catch my breath and attempt to calm down. "What?"
"If it were just you and I, I'd say move in tomorrow. But… I worry about the effect that this is going to have on our kids. They're so young, and I think our separation was confusing for them… I just want to be really intentional about how we do this and see if we can include them, so they know their family is okay. That we're okay."
She makes an excellent point, and one I've been ruminating on as well. "Can we talk about it in therapy? I bet he'll have some ideas."
She sighs, in relief, I think, and smiles. "Yes. That's a wonderful idea."
I have to make sure we're thinking the same thing. "So… you want to live together again? Full time?"
She nods. "So fucking bad," she whispers, capturing my lips again.
"Ana," I pant. "Thank you. And this doesn't mean that working on us is over…" She has to know that.
"No," she agrees. "Maybe it's just getting started. The new phase of us. But… there is something we could do now." Her gaze moves to the dresser across the room. I freeze, realizing what she means. "I've been thinking about that, too. I forgot about them because I really don't need them to love you. But now, it feels wrong to put them back on myself. That feels like your job. If you'll have me back," she adds quickly.
"If I'll have you back," I scoff. "Get off me, silly girl." She smirks and slides off of my lap, and I get up and snatch the rings off of the top of the dresser. I kneel next to her again, suddenly feeling jittery, the weight of the moment sinking in. "Ana… do you take this hopelessly in love with you, fucked-up, irrational, idiotic man to be your husband… again?"
She beams, and my nerves melt away. "I do… again." Feeling on top of the world, I slide the rings back onto her finger, kissing it for good measure once I'm done. "Wait. Give me yours." She holds out her hand.
I slip mine off and drop it into her hand. "Christian… do you take this stubborn, disobedient, also idiotic woman who will love you until the world explodes to be your wife… again?"
"I do, again." Forever. She slides the ring back onto my finger. "We've got this next part down." I kiss her hard, toppling her over onto the ground in a fit of joyful laughter from both of us. "I love you," I whisper against her lips.
"I love you more," she says in a challenging tone. Don't bet on it, baby.
A/N: I'm sorry for the slight delay in updating. Daily updates can be a bit taxing after a while, so I needed a break, but I can always promise a few times a week. :)
I hope you liked this change of pace. I know we all like Ana and Christian content, but I love sibling content too and I think we needed more of that. I also realized that Ana hangs out with other people in her perspective, but we haven't had a whole lot of that on Christian's side, so I thought that was needed. And of course, we still got something I know a lot of you have been waiting for in the end. This was a joy to write. I hope you liked reading it. Let me know your thoughts. See you next time. xo