Training with Recovery Girl is a mix of going over information and procedures he already knows, trying to absorb new information as well as he can, and using his quirk whenever the opportunity arrives. Recovery Girl doesn't want to introduce too much new information to him because there's only so much he can memorize on such a short notice, but it only makes Izuku all the more nervous to think about all the stuff that he won't know on the exam, even though she assures him that he isn't even expected to know all the material.
Unlike the day before, a good handful of students show up with injuries throughout the afternoon. Now that people have had some time to think of what they want to do for their ultimate moves, they're putting those ideas into action, which, of course, results in some less-than-pleasant outcomes for a few. However, the more injuries there are, the more practice Izuku gets with his quirk, and the better he'll do on his exam, so it works out for him.
Vaguely, he recalls Kaminari making a comment about him being the only person to get excited about people getting hurt.
Around the end of the day when his training is starting to wrap up, Izuku is surprised to see All Might's familiar mane of hair pop through the door.
"All Might!" Izuku tilts his head. "What are you doing here?" He'd thought the man would be with class 1-A again today, but he's not even in his muscled form, or his hero costume.
All Might steps into the room with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah, Aizawa-kun ratted me out to Chiyo-san about joining in on training yesterday, even though I didn't do anything physical," he mutters the last part under his breath. "And I was stuck doing office work today. But Chiyo-san said to come by later so she could do some more healing."
He glances at Recovery Girl, who gestures at one of the beds. "Go on and take a seat. I'll be with you in a moment, let me just put this away." She slides off her chair and starts gathering up the diagrams she and Izuku were going over before All Might came in.
As the hero settles himself on the bed, he looks at Izuku and asks, "How are you doing, my boy? I'm sorry I haven't stopped by to check on you sooner, but I figured you've been very busy between moving in and training for your exam."
"Hm? Oh, I'm alright," Izuku replies, not thinking twice about it.
All Might hums in response, seemingly accepting his answer, but his gaze lingers on him. There's something in his eyes, not quite curious, but more… analytical, as they roam over his face. Izuku suddenly feels rather self-conscious. All Might has probably spoken to Aizawa at some point today, and if the latter mentioned something about what happened last night, then he's no doubt realized that Izuku isn't fine. The greenette knows that his sleep-deprivation is probably becoming a bit more evident in his appearance as well. It's a miracle that Recovery Girl hasn't brought it up yet.
Before All Might can say anything though, Recovery Girl comes back over and starts checking his wounds. She has him take off his shirt, revealing his bandaged torso, then starts removing that. Izuku steps forward to help and All Might's eyes flicker to him. He coughs awkwardly, catching Recovery Girl's attention.
She stops and glances over her shoulder at Izuku. "Oh, you don't need to help me with this, Midoriya-kun. Besides, you know you're not allowed to use your quirk on him yet."
Izuku pauses, frowning slightly. "I know, I wasn't going to…" He rasps, eying All Might's bandages, "Isn't this a good opportunity for me to learn, though? It's not often I get to deal with big injuries…"
The memory of All For One's fist driving into All Might's side flashes before his eyes and he flinches.
"You'll have plenty of opportunities later," Recovery Girl says a tad bit too dismissively, "And it's not a big injury anymore. I think one more round of healing should do it, I just need to check on the progress." She says the last part to All Might.
He nods, but she doesn't continue unravelling the bandages. Instead, both adults simultaneously glance back at Izuku. The freckled boy is confused, until he takes in their positioning, the way Recovery Girl is standing with her back to him, somewhat shielding All Might's torso from his view, while the number one hero is sitting with his shoulders hunched, almost like he's curled in on himself, trying to hide- and realization hits.
They don't want him to see what All For One did to All Might.
Izuku bites the inside of his lip. It's understandable, of course. They don't want to upset him, they don't want to... trigger any unpleasant memories, especially since he's the one who healed All For One, even if it wasn't willing, it was still his energy that made him strong enough to inflict those wounds on All Might-
Izuku removes his teeth from his lip before he can make himself bleed. Yeah, maybe it's a good idea for him to not look.
Turning, he wordlessly walks over to his desk and sits down, busying himself by opening one of the many textbooks he has stacked next to his computer and picking up where he left off. After a moment or two, he hears shuffling behind him as Recovery Girl goes through the motions of checking All Might's injuries. Eventually, there's the familiar sound of a very wet kiss.
"Alright, mister," Recovery Girl says, "You're back where you started."
Izuku glances up in time to see All Might shrugging on his shirt, mangled scar disappearing behind the fabric. "Thank you, Chiyo-san." He bows his head politely. When he glances up, his eyes meet Izuku's.
Not wanting him to leave on a negative note, Izuku tries to lighten the mood. "I promise I'm going to heal you as soon as I can, All Might!" He says, beaming as he clenches his fists, "I just have to pass my license exam next week!"
He means to stay positive, but a jolt of nerves suddenly shoots through his chest as soon as the last words leave his mouth. There's a lot hanging in the balance if he fails. He won't be able to heal All Might- or Ingenium, for that matter. Both heroes that he's promised to bring back to health will have to wait even longer all because he can't pass a stupid test…
All Might must catch the worry in his expression, because his face breaks into a smile, and the room seems to grow ten times brighter.
"And I have no doubt that you will," he says confidently with a decisive nod. Sliding off the bed, he steps over to Izuku and rests his hand atop his head. "Don't stress over this exam. You're the smartest and most determined young man I know. And you've been working towards this goal for your entire life."
"I know…" Izuku sighs, already reaching up to push All Might's hand off.
The hero manages to ruffle his curls before making his way towards the door. "Chin up, Young Midoriya!" He says brightly, "You'll be a healer before you know it!"
Izuku gazes after him as he disappears.
There's only a short amount of time left before training ends, so he and Recovery Girl return to studying, but something about All Might's words linger in Izuku's mind. He's going to be able to heal All Might soon. Really soon, actually. Maybe even next week, if he gets his provisional license. The goal that he's been reaching for for so long is suddenly… really close. He's going to have a provisional license, he's going to be one step closer to becoming an actual healer.
He'll really be a healer before he knows it.
The thought should fill him with excitement, but for some reason it's… dampened. Dulled. Like he knows he should be, but something's holding him back. A thought lingers in the back of his head, as if it had been pushed away and forgotten, and now it bubbles to the surface.
"Did you ever want to do anything else other than be a healer?"
Crap.
"Did you ever even think to consider anything else, or did you just follow what society expected out of you?"
Not this again.
"To live your life serving heroes? To exhaust yourself to make them stronger?"
No, no, stop it. Come on, why now?
Gritting his teeth, he tries to shake the thought away, but Shigaraki's persistent voice rings in his head like an earworm. To make matters worse, his own traitorous thoughts start echoing back at him.
Of course he's not that excited about this. Yeah, it's great that he's finally reaching the future that he's been aiming for, but did he really expect anything else? It's not like there was ever a chance of him failing with a quirk like his. It's not like he ever took a risk, it's not like he ever took an interest in anything other than what people told him to be interested in. It's not like he ever made a choice for himself-
But he did! He chose to become a healer. He wants to become a healer… right?
Izuku clenches his jaw.
It's not like he didn't have any other options as a kid! Of course there were, it's just that healing made the most sense, especially with his quirk. It's not bad to choose a career based off of your quirk! It's just… it was logical!
But… That's not the point Shigaraki was trying to make, was it? It was more about the... influence other people were having on him. Right? That there were… certain expectations… That they were trying to make decisions for him. And, well... Izuku supposes he can see that.
He thinks back to the day his quirk manifested, how his doctor suggested to his mother that he become a healer, and then his mother wanted him to become one for his safety, and then after that it seemed like everyone- Kacchan, his friends, his teachers- was encouraging him to become a healer. And, aside from occasionally longing to be a hero, he never really considered anything else. It seemed like such a natural conclusion to come to. He has a healing quirk, so he will become a healer.
But… is that what he truly wants? He loves healing people, but is that because he really loves doing it or because he's spent literally almost his entire life being told that he should love healing people? How is he supposed to know?
"-oriya-kun? Midoriya-kun?" Recovery Girl's voice cuts through his thoughts, "Are you paying attention?"
Izuku startles, guilt flooding his chest. "Oh, sorry, sorry! I just, I…" He hesitates.
His head is a mess of jumbled up thoughts and emotional mayhem. The run he went on this morning helped him ease off some of the pressure from the aftermath from last night, but this new realization is kind of throwing him off all over again. The emotions are swirling beneath the surface, begging to be unleashed like floodwaters bursting past a long-standing dam. And he doesn't really like to voice his inner turmoil, mostly because he feels bad about dumping that onto other people and he usually ends up crying anyway, but… He glances at Recovery Girl.
She has a powerful healing quirk too. If anyone else is to understand, it would be her.
His mentor is still looking at him, still waiting for him to continue. Taking a deep breath, he asks, "Um, Recovery Girl?"
Hearing the nervousness in his voice, Recovery Girl frowns in concern and turns slightly in her chair. "Yes?"
Unsure of how to ask, Izuku wrings his hands and stammers, "Did you ever… you know… wanna do something else?"
His mentor blinks. "Pardon me?"
"Like aside from becoming a healer," Izuku explains hastily, "Did you ever, um… want to become something else?"
"Oh." His mentor relaxes, then processes his question. "No, not really."
"Oh." Izuku's shoulders sag. Of course not. She's a born healer, through and through. She's perfect. She probably never had a doubt in her mind what she was meant to do. Why can't it be that easy for him?
His expression must look troubled, because Recovery Girl's brows furrow and she says, "Don't tell me you're getting second thoughts now-"
"No, no, of course not!" Izuku waves his hands frantically. "I was just curious…" He trails off into silence.
After a moment, Recovery Girl tilts her head. "Did you ever want to do something else?" She asks.
Izuku considers just brushing it off for the sake of ease- he did technically already get his answer- but he finds himself hesitantly rasping, "Well… I did want to become a hero…"
"You are a hero," Recovery Girl says immediately, "Healers are considered heroes, I hope I don't need to remind you of that again."
"No, no, it's okay." Izuku gives her a weak smile.
A long, heavy silence presses down on them.
Then, Recovery Girl sighs and turns to face him fully. "Alright, what's this about, Midoriya-kun?" She asks in a no-nonsense tone.
Izuku looks down at his lap, twisting his hands in his shirt. She's done so much for him to get him where he is now, the last thing he wants her to think is that he's ungrateful for all that she's done for him. But… he just can't stand the thought of committing his whole life to doing something that he isn't even sure he wants. He wants… he wants this to be his choice. He thought this was his choice, he thought he loved this, but now…
He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.
"I want to be a healer," he rasps quietly, "I like being able to help people with my quirk. It makes me feel good, you know? When my quirk manifested, I was so happy that I would be able to help people. I was so happy that I was going to become a healer. But when I was with the League of Villains…" Recovery Girl tenses, and her eyes widen slightly. "Shigaraki started saying stuff about how I never really had a choice in anything, how I basically had to become a healer with a quirk like mine and that society would never let me do anything different. And I thought it was all bullshit at first of course, but then I kind of realized… I never really did consider anything else. I mean, once my quirk manifested, I only ever focused on becoming a healer. My mom and everyone was so excited for me and I never thought of doing anything else. It just never even crossed my mind and- is that bad?"
The question slips out without him meaning to, but he doesn't give time for Recovery Girl to answer. He's rambling now, almost as if he's just talking to himself. "I feel like every other kid had so much more freedom to explore their interests and I just missed out on that. It was like because I had a healing quirk everything was just decided for me. Like as soon as my quirk manifested- bam, I'm a healer! And that- dammit- that- people, other people telling me what to do, making decisions for me- it's not just something I'm dealing with now, it's something I've been dealing with my entire life, and I've just never realized it before!"
His voice starts to rise to a hoarse shout and he struggles to reel himself in, trying not to lose focus. "But even if I did try to explore other interests that's- that's the thing, like, I don't think I could- Shigaraki- he just- he said things and they kind of made sense I guess, I mean-" He lets out a frustrated noise, startling Recovery Girl. "Gah! I like healing people! I love healing people! But… I mean, maybe that's not all I would like? How would I know? What if I restricted myself or something? I just never thought to try anything else and even if I did- it would be so selfish of me to waste my quirk on some- some irrelevant hobby-"
"Midoriya-kun. Midoriya-kun," Recovery Girl interrupts his rant. "Stop. Calm down," She orders firmly.
Izuku snaps his mouth shut, shame and guilt curdling deep in his stomach. His mentor gazes at him for a long, tense moment, then shakes her head. "Alright, first of all, forget whatever crap that villain put in your head, okay? Forget it." She pauses, and it takes Izuku a moment to realize that she's waiting for a response. He nods slowly, and she continues. "Second, and answer me honestly… Do you want to be a healer?"
Izuku gulps. Recovery Girl holds his gaze steady, but there's no anger in her eyes, no judgement. All he sees is the same dark, intelligent eyes that he sees every time he looks at his mentor.
He lets out a shaky breath. Does he want to be a healer? Despite his turmoil, the answer comes easily.
"Yes," he croaks, "Yes, I love being a healer." His eyes start to sting and he blinks rapidly, shaking his head. "That's the thing, I'm so, so confused, I just don't know if that's- I mean, if I really-"
"No, I think I get it," Recovery Girl says, "He was trying to get you to think that you only want to be a healer because that's what society expects from you due to your healing quirk." Her expression darkens and she growls, "Manipulative bastard."
Normally, Izuku might've snorted in surprise at the colorful language from his mentor, but all he does now is sniffle and ask, "Was he right, though?" He reaches up and brushes his long curls out of his face, sighing, "I… I don't know. I mean, I can't imagine myself doing anything else with this quirk. I can't imagine anyone letting me do anything else with this quirk. I mean, if I were a, like, lawyer or something and I had this healing quirk, people would get so mad. They'd think I'd be letting it go to waste or something. So it's like, did I really even have a choice?" His voice breaks.
Recovery Girl leans back in her chair, a contemplative look on her face. "I'm not going to pretend that there isn't quirk discrimination in this society," she says after a pause, "And I don't really know what would happen if you decided to do something different with your life. Every person with strong healing quirks that I know of always become healers. I guess I always thought of it more as a natural inclination. Like how people with intelligence quirks might choose to work as detectives, or scientists, or engineers. It makes sense to want to do what we're naturally good at."
Izuku nods, and Recovery Girl tilts her head in consideration. "But, I guess there's also another side to it. When you have a certain type of quirk, people will assume what you'll be because of it. And like you said, those expectations can seem very restrictive, especially to people like us, whose quirks are rare and valued by the hero society." She sighs through her nose. "It's… a difficult situation, and I'm sorry that you were made to feel as if you didn't have a choice, but… Do you remember what Toshinori-kun said all those months ago when I first met you in the hospital?"
Izuku is taken aback by the sudden change of subject, but his mentor continues, "He said that you would be a great healer even if you were quirkless. I believe that too."
Recovery Girl leans forward and takes his hand, gazing into his eyes firmly. "It doesn't matter what your quirk is Midoriya-kun, I believe that you're meant to be a healer. The drive that you have for it, the thing that motivates you to keep rushing ahead and learning everything that you can in order to better help people, the thing that keeps you thinking straight even when you're scared because you know you have to keep moving- that is you, Midoriya Izuku. That's not what anyone else told you to be, that is you. And that's why I know you will be a great healer, because if anyone is meant to be a healer, it's you."
Izuku stares at her. The world turns blurry.
Recovery Girl lets out a little 'oof' as he throws his arms around her and promptly bursts into tears. "Oh." Her muffled voice is a little surprised, but then her arms wrap around him as best as they can and she pats his back soothingly. "Oh, dear. It's alright."
It's rather unwarranted, how uncontrolled and messy his crying is. He sobs and sobs- and probably squeezes the life out of his poor mentor. It also lasts for a while, but to be fair, he is pretty sleep-deprived, and after all the stress his mind has been through, it doesn't take much for it to snap again before it's even fully recovered. He feels so stupid and ashamed for ever letting Shigaraki's words sway him. It's as if all the anxiety and pressure that's been steadily building up inside of him ever since- hell, ever since Kamino- just comes gushing out. He clings to Recovery Girl like a lifeline, strangled sobs and wails tearing their way out of his abused throat as he cries hysterically.
It takes a few minutes to come back down to himself, but when he does, he's embarrassed to see the wet patch he's left on his mentor's shoulder.
"Oh," he hiccups, pulling away and hastily wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Midoriya-kun." Recovery Girl gazes at him with sorrowful eyes.
"I'm sorry," Izuku croaks for a third time, trying to dry his cheeks even though the tears haven't quite stopped spilling. Still, he insists, "I'm fine."
Recovery Girl looks at him steadfastly and says, "No. You're not."
Izuku's breath hitches. "I am." His voice wobbles pathetically.
His mentor holds his gaze and shakes her head. "You're not."
More tears slip out of his eyes and he squeezes them shut, clenching his fists. Frustration bubbles in his chest and he blurts out, "I'm… I'm so tired, Recovery Girl!"
He crumples and tells her everything, tells her about his nightmares preventing him from sleeping, his lingering exhaustion from his quirk, his feelings of being trapped due to the new security measures and then the subsequent feelings of guilt because the heroes are only doing they're jobs- he even rants a little bit about Todoroki, although she's probably confused about that, and he stops as soon as his mind catches up to his mouth. It feels good to vent, though, it feels liberating, like a giant weight has been lifted off of his chest.
When he's done, Recovery Girl reaches up to gently wipe his tears away with a tissue, and then gives him a warm hug that he melts into.
"Midoriya-kun," she says calmly, pulling away, "I'm going to tell you what you need to do."
"Please," he practically begs, the single word coming out in a gush of air.
"I'm going to give you some sleeping pills to hopefully help you sleep through the night," she starts. He nods, and then she adds, "And I'm going to set you up to meet with a therapist."
His mind blanks. "Huh?"
"Frankly, I should have done it sooner," she says, "That was a mistake on my part. It was foolish of me to assume that you would be okay after such a traumatic event."
Izuku hesitates, curling in on himself slightly. "A therapist? I don't know…" The thought of opening up to a complete stranger about what happened to him with the League of Villains…
A small hand slides over his. He looks up at Recover Girl's wrinkled face. "You need to talk about this," she says seriously, "It's not healthy to keep all of those thoughts and emotions bottled up inside of you. A therapist will help you learn to cope with what happened, and hopefully that will make the nightmares go away as well."
Izuku reluctantly considers this. He does want the nightmares to go away. And it's not like anything he's doing right now is working. There's still one problem…
"I can't leave campus too often though," he rasps.
"We can have them come here," she replies simply, and, well, there's no arguing with that. So he hesitantly agrees. Recovery Girl smiles. "Good." She pauses, and then frowns briefly. "I wish you would have told me about the effects of your quirk exhaustion sooner. Are you sure you're going to be alright doing the exam-?"
"Yes!" Izuku says immediately.
Recovery Girl gives him a chastising look. "A test can always be done another time, Midoriya-kun, but your health-"
"I know, I know." Izuku gives her hands a squeeze. "But seriously, it's basically gone now. The only exhaustion I have now is just from not being able to sleep." He lets out a tired huff and reaches up to rub his brow. His mentor's eyes shine with pity.
"Well." With a sigh, she gets up and waddles over to a cabinet, rummaging around for a few seconds before fishing out a bottle. She hands it to him and tells him how many to take.
"Thank you." He glances at the clock, which reads 4:25PM, and startles. Training usually ends at 4PM. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I've been keeping you!"
Recovery Girl waves him off. "Don't you worry about it. Now, please, for the love of God, go get some rest."
He smiles and grabs his stuff, heading towards the door. As he slips out, his mentor says, "By the way, returning momentarily to the topic of having interests aside from healing- no one ever said you can't be a healer and do something else too."
Izuku glances over his shoulder. "Huh?"
Recovery Girl smiles. "It's called having a part-time job." And closes the door.
Izuku blinks.
For a long moment, he stares blankly at the closed door. After a few seconds, he lets out a heavy sigh and leans against the wall, dropping his head in his hands and rubbing his temple with his fingers. His mind still feels like it's trying to catch up with everything that's going on. But even though he cried and had an emotional talk… he doesn't feel that bad. It wasn't as stressful as he thought it would be. He actually feels… kind of okay now. Better than he has in a long while. Once he started saying things out loud, it's like… it made it easier to understand the thoughts going on in his head.
And Recovery Girl didn't get mad at him for being unsure about wanting to become a healer, even though she's spent literal months preparing him to be one. He's so incredibly grateful to have her as his mentor. Only she could single-handedly restore his faith in himself with just a few words.
As for therapy… He's still a little uncomfortable about the idea. Aside from typing out information during the debriefing, he hasn't really opened up to anyone about what he went through while he was with the League of Villains. If he can't bring himself to talk to his closest friends about it, how can he possibly expect himself to be able to talk to a complete stranger about it?
But if Recovery Girl thinks it will help, then he's willing to at least try. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Talking now made him feel better, didn't it? Ever since Kamino, he's just been so… wrapped up in his head. It's like he can't escape from his own thoughts. But maybe therapy is what he needs? People do it all the time when bad things happen to them. He's a healer, he should know that.
Therapy- it's like a subset of healing. For mental health, which is just as important as physical health. If he thinks of it that way, maybe he could also take this as a sort of learning experience? Yeah, that's nice, that-that makes him feel a bit better about it.
He inhales deeply and lifts his head from his hands, rolling his shoulders. Alright. Okay. He's… He's okay now. And he's not just telling himself that- he actually feels, for the first time in a long time… okay. His mind is… still a little fragile, still a little frayed at the edges, but clear, not a chaotic storm of emotions and confused thoughts. He has problems, but at least now he knows that there are things he can do to solve those problems.
So he lifts his foot, and he takes a step forward.
As he starts walking down the hallway, he thinks back to what Recovery Girl last said. A part-time job? It seems like such an... obvious solution to his dilemma. He was so worried about society not letting him have a job unrelated to healing due to the wasting of his rare quirk, but… Well, she's right. No one said he couldn't be a healer and do something else.
He feels kind of stupid now.
The answer was right there all along. Plenty of people have part-time jobs! But what would he do?
Izuku frowns at the ground.
"Midoriya-kun?"
The freckled boy startles out of his thoughts and looks up to see Aizawa standing at the end of the hallway. "Sensei…" He smiles in greeting, but something tickles at the back of his mind. Didn't he mean to ask him something?
Aizawa tilts his head as the boy approaches. "Your training ran long today," he comments.
"Oh, yeah," Izuku gives a little nervous laugh. He already laid his heart out to Recovery Girl today, he doesn't think he could handle doing it again to Aizawa, no matter how much he respects the man. However, the word 'training' does remind him of what he wanted to ask-
"By the way, when can we start our training sessions again?" He asks, coming to stop in front of the teacher.
Aizawa peers down at his face. "Are you okay?"
Izuku blinks and realizes that his eyes are probably still red and puffy from crying. "Oh! Yeah, I'm fine." He reaches up to rub his eyes, then thinks better of it and lowers his hand. Aizawa arches a skeptical brow, somehow pulling off an expression of both unimpressed and concerned. "I'm fine, seriously," Izuku insists, "Recovery Girl just… said something nice and I cried."
It's not a lie, and Aizawa seems to accept that answer more easily.
"Alright, that's a bit more believable." He shrugs and Izuku wrinkles his nose childishly. "As for resuming your training sessions…" He looks down at Izuku through hooded eyes, analyzing him. "I'm not too keen on the idea," he says at last.
Izuku's shoulders droop. "Why not?" He tries not to sound like he's whining, but it's a near thing.
"Well, for one thing, Shinsou-kun wouldn't be able to train with you since he would be too tired from his regular training, now that he's joined 1-A and is preparing his special move," Aizawa points out.
"Can't you just train me one-on-one?" Izuku asks.
"I could," Aizawa says, "But I won't. Because you haven't recovered from what happened to you yet."
Izuku pauses. The words 'I'm fine' dance on the tip of his tongue, but at the last second he stops them from falling off his lips. They won't solve anything.
At his silence, Aizawa continues, "Don't think I haven't noticed how exhausted you are. You can't sleep, can you?" His voice drops, softening slightly, "You don't have to rush back into 'normal', alright, kid? Give yourself some time. I'll train you when you're good and ready."
Izuku swallows and sighs, nodding. "Alright."
Aizawa nods too and jerks his head down the hallway. "Shall we?"
He begins leading the way back to the dorms and Izuku follows after him. He looks down at his feet, trying not to be too disheartened. Well, he supposes it would be hard to spar while he's so tired anyways. Why did he even think it was a good idea in the first place? Right, he thought it might help him get rid of his nightmares if he felt stronger… but now he has therapy for that. So that's that…
He shakes his head. Well, anyway, back to the part-time job thing.
What would he even do? If he were to get a part-time job. Which he should, right? That will make him feel less restricted to just healing, if he has another job of an unrelated hobby, something that's free of societal influences, something that anybody would like, no matter their quirk. It should probably be something else he's good at. Or something he likes to do.
But then that's his problem- what else does he like? It's always been about healing, heroes, or sparring- but even that was only for self-defense purposes. He hardly knows his own interests because he never really explored anything other than healing.
Then there's also the issue of his busy schedule. Would he even be able to keep up with a part-time job? He's only an apprentice and he already has a lot of work- that will only increase when he's a real healer. How will he manage two jobs?
Izuku sighs. He wishes he could ask someone about this. He wishes he knew someone with a part-time job.
"Why'd you sigh?" Aizawa grunts, glancing back at him.
Izuku looks up. His eyes widen.
"You have a part-time job!" He blurts out too loudly, his weak voice cracking in multiple places.
Aizawa stops and blinks in confusion. "Yes?"
Embarrassed by his outburst, Izuku feels his cheeks flush and he immediately averts his gaze. "Ah, um…" He's about to brush it off, tell Aizawa that it's nothing, but… well, Aizawa does have a part-time job. Should he even consider him being a hero as a part-time job? He wonders how the man balances heroics with teaching. Obviously he teaches by day, so does he go out on patrol at night? How will he do that with the new dorm situation?
"Um…" Aizawa is still staring, not looking particularly annoyed, so Izuku gives himself a mental shake and asks, "I mean- How does that... work out?" He winces at how awkward it sounds.
Thankfully, Aizawa either doesn't notice, or doesn't care, and replies coolly, "Well, before I would teach during the day and patrol at night, but now I've had to cut down on my patrolling hours and change it to mostly weekend shifts, or patrol near UA during some week nights." Izuku nods, wide-eyed, as Aizawa then shrugs. "It's not too much of a problem for me since I'm not part of a big agency… Why?"
He looks down at Izuku when he asks this and the greenette startles. "Just curious!" He says, "Recovery Girl and I were talking about some stuff and she mentioned me getting a part-time job…"
Aizawa narrows his eyes. "I just told you you can't leave campus, why are you talking about getting a part-time job?"
Izuku huffs, "Well, not right now. Just, like, later. In the future, I mean."
Aizawa sniffs, seemingly satisfied, and asks, "What are you thinking of doing, then?" He turns and continues walking, jerking his head for Izuku to follow. The freckled boy trots up to his side.
"I don't know," he sighs, "That's kind of my problem. I've recently realized that I've been so focused on becoming a healer that I never thought to take interest in anything else. I..." he pauses, then admits sheepishly, "I don't have many hobbies."
"Oh." Aizawa glances at him, then looks away. After a moment, he grunts, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, neither do I."
Izuku smiles and lets out a little huff of laughter. They walk in silence for a few seconds, and Izuku thinks that maybe that's the end of it, that Aizawa doesn't really have anything else to add, but then the man heaves a sigh and looks up at the sky.
"So… you're trying to figure out what you like?" He asks, "So you can… what, make a career out of it? Another one, on top of the one you're already trying to make?"
"Yeah, basically," Izuku replies. There's no judgement in Aizawa's monotonous voice, but with his word choice, he feels the slight need to defend himself anyways. "It can't be that uncommon for people to have more than one job."
"It's not," Aizawa says, "All the teachers at UA have two jobs."
Izuku blinks. "Oh. Yeah, that's right."
Once again, he feels rather stupid for realizing something so obvious so late.
"Present Mic has three, actually," Aizawa adds, his lip quirking up, "If you consider his shitty radio show to be a job."
Izuku frowns and gives him a disapproving glare. "Sensei, that's mean," he says in a chastising tone.
Aizawa's smirk disappears and he averts his eyes, clearing his throat.
Now that he's mentioned Present Mic though, that gets Izuku thinking-
"But that's not a heroic hobby," he rasps, "That's just… something he likes to do, right?"
Aizawa nods, leading him around the corner. "Well, yeah. It doesn't have to do anything with heroics, you know. He can just do it because he likes it. That's why it's called a hobby." He gives him a pointed look.
Izuku hums. Which brings him back to finding his own hobbies. Finding his own interests. Finding… what he likes to do. Where does he even begin? Most people figure this out when they're kids.
Glancing up at Aizawa, Izuku smiles brightly and asks, "What do you like to do, Aizawa-sensei?"
Aizawa huffs, and after a long moment of deliberation, replies in a short, blunt tone, "Sleep."
Izuku snorts. The man smirks and nudges him with his elbow. "Take a page out of my book, kid. You look like you could use some shut-eye."
"I'm working on it." Izuku shakes his head. "What else do you like to do?"
"I already told you I don't have many hobbies," Aizawa grumbles, "Besides, aren't you trying to figure out what your interests are?"
"Well, yeah, but…" Izuku struggles to think of what to say, "I mean, there are so many things I could do- more things than I could ever fit into my lifetime! Doesn't it make sense to… try things that I know will be good? Because people that I know and trust like to do those things."
Aizawa blinks, long and slow. "You mean… you're going to ask your friends what they like and just pick and choose from that?"
Izuku smiles and nods. "Exactly!"
Aizawa shrugs. "I guess that's one way of doing it."
Excitement bubbles in his chest. Izuku's smile stretches into a grin and they approach Heights Alliance a couple of minutes later. When they reach the top of the stairs, Aizawa stops him with a hand on his head.
"You're young," he grunts, "You'll find something you like. So don't worry about it too much." He gives his curls a shake before nudging him forward. Izuku flashes him a grateful smile and steps through the door.
After greeting his classmates, he immediately races up to the third floor, kidnaps Kacchan, and drags him into his room. The bewildered blond stares at him as he excitedly rambles on and on about his revelation while digging through his bag and fishing out his notebook. He should start making a list, shouldn't he? Whatever his new hobby is going to be, it will eventually turn into a part-time job, right? So, obviously, it should be something that won't interfere with his healing career. It can't be physically strenuous then. That gets rid of his already sort-of hobbies of running and sparring. He scribbles down in his notebook, and then frowns.
Does he have any other sort-of hobbies? He does like to play video games occasionally, but he knows he doesn't like it enough to want to become a professional gamer. What does that leave him with? What are his interests? There's such a big world of possibilities to explore! It's so exciting! Where does he even begin?! He should start going around asking his friends what their favorite hobbies are and then maybe make some sort of list-
Kacchan interrupts his muttering by yanking the notebook out of his hands.
"Kacchan!" He protests, trying to grab it back, but Kacchan tosses it behind him so it lands on the bed. He makes to move past him, but the blond grabs him and pushes him back. "Hey, what are you-"
"Jesus Christ, Zuku, shut the fuck up!" Kacchan snaps, scowling at him. Izuku startles and snaps his mouth shut. After a moment of glaring at him, Kacchan lets out a sharp huff and runs a hand through his spiky hair.
"Look," he growls, "I'm glad that you're having a philosophical moment or whatever, and that you've decided to explore yourself and all this crap, but you're doing the same shit you always do and that's rushing into things! Like, calm down, for fuck's sake! You don't need to figure this crap out this week! Quit making lists and shit and just- just-" He lets out a frustrated snarl. "Just fucking relax and have fun, Jesus Christ, you little shit! Not everything has to be this complicated!"
He pants a little after his rant, glaring heatedly at Izuku. The greenette blinks, stunned. Then, he considers Kacchan's words. He's quiet for a long time.
"So… Just let it come to me?" He asks.
Kacchan makes a noise and throws his hands up in the air. "SURE!"
Izuku doesn't really like that idea. He wants to find his new hobby now. It's exciting. Everyone else grew up with all these cool interests, everyone else has their thing, why does he have to wait even longer for his?
But Recovery Girl has mentioned on many, many occasions that he does have the tendency to rush ahead, as Kacchan just said. He's impatient- just like he was with his recovery. He was trying to push forward and move ahead before he was ready, insisting that he was fine when he's not, and that could have hurt him.
So, for once in his life, maybe he should just have... patience.
Izuku lets out a long, heavy sigh.
"Alright."
Kacchan rolls his eyes. "Thank you for your sacrifice," he drawls, then jerks his head over his shoulder, "Now let's go downstairs. Thanks to your smartass mouth last night, fucking Ponytail put me on the first rotation to cook."
"Sorry." Izuku winces, then says, "I'm surprised you're even doing it, though. You were pretty adamant about not wanting to teach anybody last night."
"Tch." Kacchan scoffs and turns towards the door, but the silence is suspicious. A shit-eating grin creeps on Izuku's face.
"Oh my God, she made Kirishima-kun your partner, didn't she?"
"Shut the fuck up."
"Oh my God, she did?!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"