Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. This takes place in the beginning of season 9, when Dean goes and finds Cas working at the store. Dean has to make things right with Cas after he had to ask him to leave the bunker. Sexytimes do ensue. Hope you enjoy this little oneshot!

You Kicked Me Out

By Julia

Dean sat in his car, and looked into the convenience store mart. He saw Cas in there. Dean had hated to turn him away from the bunker. Dean had to make sure that things were alright with them. He knew that there was something more there, something unspoken. Dean just didn't know what it was. Actually, scratch that. He did. But he didn't know that he was ready to admit out loud that he knew he had feelings for Cas. He'd known for awhile, but when he'd had to choose between his brother and Cas, he'd known then that it was really real. That had been the moment when Dean knew that he was in love with Cas forever. It had been the hardest decision he'd ever had to make. When he'd heard Cas' voice on the other end of the line, his heart had started galloping harder and harder. Dean had missed that voice. It was like butter, soft and silky. But deep at the same time. Dean had had dreams about that voice. Not just the voice, but it had been very prominent.

That's when Cas' eyes met his, and Dean's breath of intake was sharp, and his eyes immediately brushed with tears. God, he was acting like a chick. Dean met those eyes right back though, and Dean could feel that desire in his stomach, but he didn't just want to fuck Cas. He wanted to be with him, hear him talk. Hold his hand in his, watching that face while Cas talked. Dean wanted it all. They seemed to hold that gaze for a long time, and then Cas finally looked away. Dean let out a gasp of air as soon as Cas had gone back to work. Screwing up his courage, Dean closed the driver's side door and went inside. It was devoid of customers, it was just him and Cas. This was making him more nervous than he wanted to admit.

Walking up to Cas, Dean's eyes were misting again. It was seeing Cas in the flesh that was doing it. Dean met his eyes briefly, and there was again, so much unspoken. Dean's tongue darted nervously over his lips, and then he said, "Cas, hey." He knew that was a lame start to the conversation that the two of them needed to have.

Those lips were speaking to him… Cas' eyes threatened to brush with tears when he remembered that Dean had asked him to leave the bunker. Cas had listened to Dean's bullshit reason, and he knew that it was more than Dean was letting on. Castiel staered at him, wondering what he was going to say in return. He wasn't stupid, he knew that something had changed with them. Something unspoken. Castiel had known for a really long time how he'd felt about Dean, and he'd also known that Dean felt the same way. He was just waiting for the other man to realize it. Castiel took him in now with his blue eyed gaze. He could tell that Dean was hurting. He was aching inside for what he'd done. Cas didn't want to speak to him though until he told him the real reason he'd asked Cas to leave.

"Oh, so you're still talking to me?" Cas asked him, his tone sharp and his words biting. Dean's face fell, and Cas almost felt guilty. But he knew that he deserved an explanation for why someone who claimed he was family kick him to the curb when he needed him most. Castiel had never known love and acceptance like he had with Dean and Sam. Cas had hated to lose that. And while he knew he hadn't, especially since Cas was sure that Sam had no idea why he'd left the bunker, it still felt like it was something that he'd lost. Cas continued to put Pringles on the shelf. "I would have thought we were done after you tossed me out on my ass with the biggest bullshit reason I've ever heard." With this, his eyes met Dean's again, and Dean actually looked chagrined.

"So until you tell me why you kicked me out when I needed you the most, you can get the hell out." Cas never cursed, and he could see Dean's eyebrows raise in shock.

Honestly, Dean deserved that tone. He reached out, and brushed his finger across Cas' cheek. Brushing off some tears. Dean knew how badly his words had hurt Cas. But honestly, he'd had no choice. "Cas…. you know that I would never have done that if I didn't have any choice." Dean knew that Cas did know that, but it still was good to remind him out loud. And honestly, he wasn't surprised that Cas hadn't believed what he'd told him. Cas knew him better than anyone, except Sam. Dean's voice shook as he kept speaking. "Cas, I had to. There's… you're right, baby, there's something I haven't told you." They both heard the endearment, but neither acknowledged that fact.

It wasn't going to be easy to tell him this, and he knew that Cas was most likely going to tell him he'd made a mistake. Even if Zeke didn't think so. He'd told Dean he was doing the right thing. He swallowed visibly and then spoke again. "Cas, I… Sam was pretty messed up after we stopped the trials, and the gates of heaven closed." This was harder than Dean had thought it would be. His throat was thick. He spoke again, his voice quiet. "He was going to die. He was in a coma. I prayed… to you, but you didn't answer. I prayed to everyone. This angel…. Ezekiel, he came and he's possessing Sam, trying to heal him." Dean heard Cas' sharp intake of breath, and he knew that he had a lecture coming. Dean wasn't sure that he didn't deserve it.

"I had to save Sam. He.. he doesn't know, Zeke says it would mess things up if he knew. I wasn't… I was afraid to tell you. I knew that you'd be disappointed in me. He said that he would leave Sam if you stayed, because you're hunted. Zeke said that he couldn't stay if you did." Dean said, and he didn't have to fake the tone of hurt in his voice. He didn't know what Cas was going to say, and that was scaring the hell out of him. Dean reached out, stilling Cas' hands with the Pringles, his fingers getting caught up with Cas', and their eyes met.

Staring into those green irises, that reminded Cas so much of beautiful green emeralds, he knew that he couldn't stay mad at Dean. He was just doing what he had to to save Sam. And Castiel could understand Dean not wanting to disappoint him. Cas knew that with the exception of Sam, Cas was the person who meant the most to Dean. Cas brushed his fingers through Dean's, and they moved closer, their other hands meeting, and locking together. Cas looked into those eyes again. He knew that Dean was expecting a lecture about what he'd done, and not telling at least Cas about it. He believed that Dean hadn't had a choice. Cas just wasn't sure they could trust this "Zeke" Dean mentioned. Cas didn't remember him from heaven, but as long as he'd been up there, he hadn't met everyone.

Licking his lips, Cas said, "Dean, I promise you, I am not mad." He felt a shiver of delight go through him when Dean let out a nervous sigh and his chin trembled as he looked back at Cas. "You were doing what you had to to save your brother. What I wish was that you had told me that when you told me that I had to leave." Cas wasn't sure that he blamed the angel for not wanting to be put in danger. He knew now that Dean really hadn't had a choice. Cas let go of one of Dean's hands and moved his hand up to Dean's cheek, stroking it softly. Dean's eyes fluttered at his touch. Cas kept his hand on Dean's cheek, and they kept their eyes on the other's. Cas' voice was quiet as he spoke again.

"Dean, I understand that you were just doing what you had to do. I do think that you should be careful with this angel, you don't know if you can trust him yet. Yes, he's helping Sam, but it still feels strange. I don't blame you though for wanting to save Sam. I would have done anything to save him, too. I just wish you had told me the real reason. You didn't think that I would believe you? I know that you don't lie to me without good reason." Cas could hardly be angry at him for lying sometimes, Cas had had to do the same at certain points in their years together.

Despite Cas saying that he wasn't mad, Dean still felt that there was going to be the other shoe dropping to the floor at any minute. Dean's eyes stayed on those beautiful blue eyes, some of the most gorgeous eyes Dean had ever seen in his life. Dean licked his lips, and stared into that earnest and adorable face for a moment, before his lips were on Cas'. Dean kissed him with as much love as he could muster, and he hoped that Cas would get it in the way that he kissed him. Dean used the hand still in Cas' to tug him closer, his arm sliding around Cas' waist. He couldn't even put into words the way it felt to have Cas in his arms, his lips on the other man's.

It hit him then that Cas was a human. He'd lost his grace. That was why he'd needed Dean in the first place. Dean had been so insistent on Cas coming back home to the bunker, too. He knew it had to have sent mixed signals to Cas, and he hated that he'd made him doubt that Dean loved him. When the kiss broke, Dean let out a breath, they had kissed until Dean was breathless. His eyes took in Cas' dreamy expression, and a small smile played at his lips. Dean loved that look on Cas' face. He hoped that he'd get to see it from ecstasy while having sex. Dean licked his lips again and spoke. "Cas, I'm sorry. I should have asked first. I just, you said you weren't mad, and I just…. Something overcame me."

It was true, and he could see Cas' face taking in this information. Dean didn't really know what Cas was going to say, and that was tripping him up. He could look into those eyes all day long if he had to though, they were gorgeous and Dean could see all the love Cas had for him in them, finally. Dean's breath was shallow as he sucked in a breath. "You love me." Dean said, his voice a bit in awe as he spoke. "Cas…. I'm… I'm in love with you, too. I have been for a really long time. I just, when I had to kick you out, I knew then that it was serious, my feelings for you."

All of that didn't surprise Cas in the slightest. He looked back at the other man, he had to admit, it felt amazing being in his arms. Cas didn't know where to start. He had loved Dean for a very long time, and he had known that Dean had felt the same way. Cas brushed his free hand across Dean's cheek, and then his arm slid around Dean's neck. "Dean, sweetheart, I've known that for a very long time. I wanted, I needed, you to come to the conclusion on your own. If I told you how you felt you'd have denied it and done your best to run from it." It was true, and he knew by the way that Dean blushed red as a tomato that Dean knew it was also. Dean didn't know how long Cas had known though. "I'm glad that you realize now how you feel, and that I feel the same." Cas told him.

Being in Dean's arms was honestly the best feeling that Cas had ever felt. He looked into Dean's green eyes. He hadn't had sex yet, and honestly, he really wanted it to be Dean. He knew that Dean was here for a case, since Cas was the one who had called him, but he also knew that Dean was here to make things right with them. Cas licked his lips, and kissed Dean again, so hard and passionately that he was feeling it all the way to his toes. He wanted to convey all the desire he felt for Dean in that kiss. And actually it was time to close up anyway. Cas felt a tingle deep in his stomach when Dean kissed back, just as hard. Cas felt like the earth was spinning off its axis, he had wanted this for so long. And he knew that so had Dean. This was going to be explosive. He broke the kiss to breathe, reminding himself that he was human now, he had to take care of himself.

"Dean, I want you." Cas said, finding his courage. He didn't know where it was coming from, but he was glad that he had said it. He watched Dean's eyebrow raise and a smile cover his face. When he'd first walked in he'd given Cas one of his 'I'm Dean Winchester and I'm adorable' smiles. Cas loved that smile, because he knew that it was truly one of those moments where Dean was able to be himself without worrying about the fate of the entire world. Cas loved that one of those smiles had been reserved for him. Dean was smiling it again now.

"You do, huh?" Dean asked, unable to keep the bright smile off his face. Dean had wanted that for a long time. It made him scared, nervous, and tingly all at the same time. Dean kept his arms around Cas, his fingers moving and untucking Cas' shirt, his hands moving on Cas' back. His fingers moved over Cas' bare skin, and he wasn't able to keep the smirk off his face when he saw what it was doing to Cas. The former angel was liking it. Dean let his lips fuse with Cas' again, long and slow. When the kiss broke, Dean said, "How soon till you can get off?" He wasn't able to keep the dirty tone out of his voice, and he knew that Cas would be amused. When Cas told him it was time to close up and they could go, Dean's grin was ear to ear.

"Mmm, baby, well hurry up and I'll show you exactly how long I've wanted you and how much I love you." Dean knew that Cas was the one he was supposed to be with when he was so open with him. Dean had never told anyone that he loved them in a romantic capacity before. It felt so good, so freeing, to say it now. Dean didn't let go of Cas though, he held him closer. He could feel Cas' desire on his leg, the other man's cock was getting harder. Dean had to admit, it was giving him shivers down his entire body. He had taken a couple of years to deal with the fact that he truly was bisexual. It had thrown him for a loop at first, but when he'd started having nightly dreams about fucking Cas, that was when he'd had to finally admit it to himself. And now, Dean knew that he could admit it out loud.

It took about five seconds for Cas to kiss him and let go so he could go and get the mart shut up and they could go to Dean's hotel room. Cas didn't exactly have a place to stay right now, since he'd had to leave the bunker. Now that Dean had explained, he felt so much better about it. Cas got the mart closed in record time, cleaning up not as thoroughly as he might have if Dean hadn't been here, but he was glad that he'd at least done it. Cas went outside, locking the door behind him. Dean was leaning on the Impala, and Cas let out a breath as soon as he saw it. A part of him had thought that he might not ever see it again, even if he knew how insane that was.

He strolled up to Dean, his stomach filling with butterflies. Dean had been waiting for him to get off work, and they were going to go and sleep together for the first time. Cas felt like a girl must in school. Cas met those green eyes, and Dean stepped forward, kissing him. Cas could do nothing but kiss back. Cas felt the shiver of pleasure all the way down his back. Dean broke the kiss, a smile playing on his lips. Cas looked into those eyes, and held up the bag of condoms and lube. "I'm prepared." He told him, unable to keep the blush off his face. Cas had never done this before, in his entire life. Cas had felt that he was waiting for the right person, and now he knew it was Dean. It had never felt so right as it did when he was kissing him. He knew this was the first decision of the rest of his life, however short that may be, and he knew that it was the right one.

When Cas held up the condoms and lube, Dean had to admit, he was glad that Cas was prepared. Dean hadn't been expecting this, and he wasn't prepared. Dean leaned closer, kissing him one more time. "Let's get some Chinese and I'll show you exactly how good sex can be." Dean wondered if Cas was a virgin, but he didn't want to ask, in case it was going to upset Cas. He was glad that Cas was human, at least for this. His first sexual experience as a human was Dean's. Even if Cas had done this before, it wouldn't matter, because this was still a first. Dean was touched, more than he'd admit out loud, that he'd be in Cas' life forever, no matter what happened. He really had to admit, that was spurring him on.

He moved to let Cas into the Impala, and he hoped it wasn't for the last time. Dean stilled, looking at Cas, who looked at him a bit surprisingly. Dean said, "This isn't…. This is for real, right? We're not just… we're not going to be over after this? We'll never talk about it again?" The fear in Dean's voice was evident, and he was so scared that it was true that he didn't care that he was laying himself bare in front of Cas. Life was too short for that shit. He was going to be as honest as he could with Cas, let him in. He knew it was how real relationships worked, even if he'd really never had a chance to employ them. Dean wanted to be able to have a real adult relationship with Cas. He'd never really had one. Lisa didn't count, especially this last time, because the entire year he'd been with her he'd been in love with Cas. His heart hadn't really been in it, and in the end, Lisa had figured that out.

"What? Dean, no." Cas said, and tugged Dean down so he was kneeling and Cas could look into his eyes. "We are not going to be over after this. I love you. You love me. I'm human now, there's nothing stopping us from being together." Cas told him, his eyes brimming with tears when he saw how relieved Dean was with those words. Cas cupped Dean's cheek. "I promise you, this is real. This is happening. And I'm not going to leave you after we finally have sex." Cas told him. It was sad that Dean had been scared of that happening. Cas had thought everything was out on the table, in the open. Cas was so glad that he was able to put that relief on Dean's face. "You don't have to worry, Dean Winchester, because I'm not going anywhere."

It was such a relief to Cas to see the smile light up Dean's face, and he kissed him once more before Dean stood and moved around to start the car. Cas reached to slide his hand over Dean's on the gear shift, his fingers briefly entwining with Dean's, holding on and squeezing tightly. Their eyes met, and there was so much that was spoken in that look, even if it wasn't out loud. Cas let go so he could drive, and then they peeled out of the parking lot like they were being chased. Cas couldn't keep the smile off his features, Dean wanted to have sex with him that badly. It felt amazingly good.

When they got to the hotel room, Dean wasted no time in getting Cas inside. They'd grabbed the Chinese of course, but Cas knew they were going to be eating it cold. Dean pressed him to the bed, kissing him so deeply that Cas couldn't even tell which tongue was his. Cas arched up against him as Dean's hands moved to his hips, moving to unbuckle Cas' jeans, and getting them off Cas' hips with haste. More clothing was removed in a hurry, and then naked flesh was against naked flesh. Dean kissed him, his hips rocking against Cas', and his cock hardened even more. Cas pressed against him, his hands sliding around Dean's neck. His fingers slipped in the hair at the nape of Dean's neck, and he felt Dean's cock, which was already rock hard, tighten even more against his leg.

Dean pushed Cas back on the bed, and moved down, licking his lips, looking at it for a moment, and then taking Cas' impressive length into his mouth. His mouth moved over the shaft, his hand moving to still Cas' hips on the bed, which were already starting to rise from Dean's mouth. Dean moved his tongue over the long, hard, cock, his other hand cupping Cas' balls. He took Cas as far as he could into his mouth, Dean was born without a gag reflex, and now he knew why. He could feel Cas all the way down his throat, and he sucked hard on the tip, like he was licking a lollipop. Cas moaned, and the hand on Cas' hip moved up his abs, stroking the hair softly in Cas' treasure trail. It felt so good, having Cas in his mouth.

Before Cas could come, Dean moved off him with a pop, and looked down into those blue eyes. "Top or bottom?" Dean asked, although Dean was definitely a bottom. He longed to have Cas filling him so deeply with that huge member he was working with. He was delighted when Cas told him he wanted to be a top. Dean grinned and reached for the lube and a condom, handing them to Cas, his fingers lingering in Cas' a bit longer than he'd meant to, and his stomach was full of butterflies. God, even just holding Cas' hand made him more turned on than he'd ever been in his life. He gasped as they switched positions, Cas lubing up two of his fingers and sliding them inside Dean. Dean knew that Cas wasn't wrong in doing that, he'd never really had anything inside him before. He arched up into the touch, Cas' long fingers moving inside him, brushing up against Dean's prostate, and he gasped at the unfamiliar feeling. But it felt so amazing.

Cas was talking to him, but Dean barely heard it as Cas finger fucked him, his body writhing on the bed as his fingers worked their magic. Then all too soon, Cas was sliding his fingers out, and just as Dean was noticing and wanting them back inside him, Cas' long cock was sliding inside him, sheathed in a condom. Dean gasped out loud as it slid home, slowly at first and then just sinking all the way in. Dean's fingers dug into Cas' shoulders, and he moaned as Cas' hips began to move. Dean only had a second to wonder where Cas had gotten his information, because he was filled with Cas' cock and it was all he could focus on. Cas' hand moved down and was stroking Dean's long hard member, and Dean was undone. Dean came explosively, they were both covered in his cum, and Cas was coming too, when he saw how into it and how hard Dean had come.

They met each other's eyes, and Dean felt like he could come all over again looking into those blue eyes. They stayed that way for a moment, Cas still inside him, and then Dean felt a horrible wrenching feeling when Cas slipped out of him and threw the condom over the side of the bed and into the trash can. Then he lay down next to Dean, not even seeming to care that they were both sticky. Dean looked into those blue eyes, his heart pounding out of his chest. Dean could hardly believe that that had just happened. They stared into each other's eyes, and Cas reached out, stroking Dean's chest softly. Dean knew that so much was being said in the look they were exchanging, and Dean couldn't even feel anything but Cas. Dean looked into those blue eyes that always made him feel like he was looking directly into the sky, and Dean said, "I love you, Castiel Novak." It was a name that Cas hadn't used in a long time, the last name, but Dean felt just saying Cas wasn't enough.

"I love you too, Dean Winchester." Cas said, looking back into those green eyes. He knew that this was his forever. He was lying in bed with the person that he was going to be with the rest of his life. Cas couldn't keep the tears from his eyes it made him so happy. Cas met Dean's eyes, and it was clear to both of them that that was the only the first time that they'd get to make love. They both knew in that instant that they were done looking. They could just be together. It was so amazing that it took Cas' breath away. And as he looked into those bright green eyes, he knew that it took Dean's breath away too. And that was why he loved him.

Author's note: XD. I hope ya'll liked. I was watching season 9 and was taken over by feels. So this came out of nowhere. UGH DESTIEL THOUGH.