A/N: This chapter has a short lemon near the end.

Chapter 20: Darkness

"Megumin, Kazuma… I promise I can explain. Please, take a seat."

Eris was clearly trying to defuse a very tense situation. But Megumin took this olive branch and burned it.

"Take a seat! In my fucking apartment! I'll have your head, you worthless goddess! Even Aqua isn't as shameless as you!"

Kazuma had to restrain the raging girl.

"Megumin, please..."

He looked at her. There were tears in her eyes, she wasn't just angry.

"Kazuma… fine! Eris, I'm only doing this because Kazuma asked me to. So don't push your luck."

What a bold thing to say to the goddess of good fortune. Megumin could be scary when she got upset. They sat down on the bed, while Eris and Darkness each took a chair.

"Megumin..."

Darkness finally spoke. She looked terrified of the small girl, and without a hint of the arousal that such intense fear would usually cause.

"I'm not here to take Kazuma from you."

"Eris?"

Megumin looked unconvinced.

"She's not, Megumin. She's only here for a temporary visit."

Megumin seemed to calm down. She was still giving Darkness a nasty glare, though. Eris started to explain.

"It's been a few weeks since Darkness stopped getting the detailed updates… and she hasn't taken it well. She's been forcing Aqua-sama to tell her everything."

Darkness looked down at the floor in shame.

"We… Aqua and I… we know that I have a problem. So we asked Eris-sama for help."

Kazuma was surprised.

"An intervention?! What is this, a sit com?!"

Eris, in keeping with being a goddess, didn't flinch at his outburst, maintaining her calm demeanor.

"We decided that it would be best for Darkness if she got some closure. So we're going to ask a few questions. Please… be honest."

"I know there's a lot of tension, especially between me and Megumin..."

Darkness looked at the red-eyed girl by his side. The blonde crusader looked sad, with a tinge of jealousy.

"So it's okay if you have to say something negative. I can handle it."

"Well, what do you want to know? We don't have all day..."

Megumin, of course, was quite impatient about the whole thing.

"Well, there's no point in delaying it, I suppose. Megumin… I want you to say how you feel about me. Don't hold anything back."

Megumin turned to look at Darkness.

"The way you chased after Kazuma… it hurt, Darkness. You put your own feelings ahead of the rest of your party. You acted like what Kazuma and I have doesn't matter. Because I'm younger than you, because I'm a..."

Kazuma looked at her. He knew what she was trying to say. She paused, and took deep breaths to compose herself.

"Because I'm just a loli to you..."

He hated how much pain that word brought her. It made him a bit uncomfortable, too, but he'd made up his mind about this. He didn't love her because she was 14, he loved her because she was Megumin.

"Because I'm just a kid, my feelings don't matter, right? I'm too young to understand love. So anything between me and Kazuma isn't real, it's wrong to an Eris cultist like you. So there's no problem if a woman like you has her way with him, right?!"

Her rage was palpable. As she laid into Darkness her voice rose to a fever pitch followed by a deafening silence. She wanted Darkness to feel her pain. She let the words sink in before speaking once more, now in a near whisper.

"Darkness… you have me beat. You've got bigger breasts, wider hips, you're older… there's nothing about your body that's less attractive. Do you understand how I feel now? You used that fact, that you're exactly Kazuma's type… you used it to try and break my heart, Darkness. I resent you for that, deeply. You broke my trust... and I can't call someone who does that a friend."

Darkness looked like she was on the brink of tears. Megumin's words were brutal, and they hit her hard.

"Megumin, you have every right to feel that way… I'm so sorry."

She looked genuinely remorseful. Megumin's cold glare softened a little.

"Darkness… I want to make amends. I want to forgive you. But you need to show me you've changed: you can't let your feelings for Kazuma control your life."

Darkness had a glimmer of hope in her eyes, but she still looked dejected.

"I'll… try."

She struggled to get the words out. Megumin looked unimpressed by her response. Eris looked at her pious follower with a compassionate gaze. She knew how hard this would be for Darkness. They all knew. The goddess turned to him, telling him without words that he had to do something.

"Megumin's right. Darkness, you need to get a grip."

"G-Get a grip…?"

The pathetic look Darkness gave him told him everything he needed to know.

"When was the last time you went on a quest? When was the last time you let out your fetish, and it had nothing to do with me?"

"It's… been a while."

He frowned. Usually he'd be overjoyed that Darkness had stopped displaying her perversion so prominently, but this was too much.

"Darkness, nothing's ever going to happen between us. But that doesn't mean you have to just give up. Keep going on quests, even if it's just for your kink. Do the things that used to make you happy."

But Darkness looked as depressed as ever.

"What's the point? What's the point of trying to relive my adventuring days? What's the point of trying to make a new party? What kind of man has the wits to defeat a Demon King's General and the savagery to make a woman cry, and feel defiled by your dirty..."

"Hey!"

What was this blubbering idiot doing, tarring him like this in the depths of her despair? Was this how she showed affection?!

"S-sorry… But... I can't replace you, Kazuma. So what's the point?"

"Darkness..."

The goddess of luck turned to look at her follower.

"I hate to admit it... but Aqua-senpai is wiser than she seems. As the Axis cultists say, do what makes you happy. Don't hold back."

"But Eris-sama, surely you don't mean..."

"I haven't forgotten my own teachings, faithful one. Perversion is sinful. The sexual bond is meant to tie lovers, not a crusader to her attacker. But man was not born without sin. Do you remember what the Church teaches about sin?"

"O-of course. A sinner forgiven is better than a NEET."

"Oi! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

He knew the Axis Cult was beyond all help, but the Eris Cult? Damn it, are all religions this dumb?!

"Kazuma, if one atones for his sin with an even greater good deed, is this not better than doing nothing at all, committing the sin of sloth?"

Well, when she phrased it that way… He couldn't really argue with that, but he still felt targeted given his history with the word NEET.

"My dear follower, you mustn't give in to your despair. Eris is a loving goddess, and she smiles upon the faithful, even the sinners. So do what you will, and earn your forgiveness. Just don't be a NEET."

"Okay, enough with this 'don't be a NEET' crap. Darkness, you're a huge unrepentant pervert. You want a guy who'll treat you like shit, right?"

"Kazuma!"

The objector was not Eris or Darkness, strangely enough, but Megumin.

"That's not what she sees in you and you know it!"

"You're the last person I'd expect to object to what I said."

"Well I'm not letting you pawn her off to some complete scumbag!"

Darkness turned to look at her.

"Megumin…? Y-you'd really..."

"Don't overthink it, you homewrecker. It's for my own conscience."

Hah. He turned to Megumin.

"Tsundere."

"Shut up!"

Darkness looked over at Kazuma anxiously.

"T-that wasn't what you meant… r-right?"

"Of course not, you musclehead! You're not into softies: that's all I was saying."

"R-right! W-What man could be as cruel as - "

"Hey! If you say things like that, Megumin may well attack you!"

The Crimson Demon nodded to confirm this obvious fact.

"I can assure you... there are many men just like me with terrible manners and allegedly..."

He glanced at Megumin.

"... a good heart. I don't really see it, but..."

He figured he'd stop there before he pissed off Megumin. Darkness still looked worried.

"K-Kazuma… w-what if I can't find one?"

"Then you settle for someone good enough, dumbass. It's not my fault you're down bad with Kazuma fever."

Megumin and Darkness glared at him. He really had a way with words, didn't he?

"What an awful man, telling me to suffer a love of mediocrity... o-oh, the horror!"

He really did hate her masochism, but at least she wasn't down in the dumps. Progress?

"Look, if you're really not happy..."

He looked around the room. They wouldn't like this, but…

"I didn't say you had to pick just one..."

The three responded in horror.

"You're the worst!"

"B-Brute!"

"Degenerate."

"Well... someone had to say it."

The shaking of heads around him indicated an intense disagreement.

"What? I'm serious! Male adventurers form harems all the time!"

Megumin gave him a contemptuous glare.

"Kazuma, I'm seriously considering assigning you to toilet duty at work. Such is the scumminess of what you just said."

"No need to get your panties in a twist! Darkness, are you really opposed to the idea?"

"A h-harem? No… love is meant for two! I c-couldn't…"

Darkness blushed furiously, steadfastly rejecting the idea. But soon the blonde deviant's true nature began to win out.

"A h-horde of men, who'd tie me up and - no, h-h-how horrible! T-To suggest such a thing to a fair maiden… y-you, you really are Scum-zuma!"

"Pervert."

Megumin gave Darkness a disapproving glare. Eris, meanwhile, gave Darkness the kind of look that a pet's owner might after they've peed on the furniture. Deep disappointment mixed with pity.

"We'll talk about this later. It's time, Darkness... I fear if we stay any longer Kazuma may suggest far worse..."

"Hah! Like what?"

"Darkness, shield your ears! Megumin, please give this man a talking to."

Megumin nodded. Hey! What was that for?! He shoved her lightly.

"Farewell!"

And with that the visitors from the other world vanished. They sat there for a minute, and Megumin began to lecture him. Or, more accurately, she would've begun if a loud meowww hadn't interrupted her.

"Kazuma, feed her."

He did as she asked. The poor cat must've been starving: they'd totally forgotten to feed her earlier. Megumin began to rant.

"Are you kidding me, Kazuma? A goddamn harem?! That's going to fix Darkness' problems? You know, as long as I've known you, you've been a truly disgusting pervert. First I thought that loli succubus was you at your worst, but you proved me wrong! And don't think I forgot what you did when you and Iris switched bodies, either! It's really ironic, that a girl recruited by the Axel police for an anti-sexual harassment campaign ended up with a scumbag like you! You know, you should really be thankful that any girls like you..."

Kazuma was busy trying to open a can of tuna, completely tuning out the suddenly high-and-mighty Megumin.

"Have you seen the can opener?"

"Are you even listening to me?!"

"Not really. Hey, can you check that drawer?"

"Kazuma!"

"What? You're right, I've done some sleazy stuff. Your fault for picking me."

"Well you're nice to me when you're not being a pervert!"

"And I'm not nice to you when I am being a pervert?"

The innuendo was obvious. Megumin's impassioned arguing was halted in its tracks.

"Kazu-trash."

"Explosion loli."

"What did you say?!"

He ignored her and finished preparing food for Chomusuke. He walked over to the bed and sat down, flipping through the channels on the TV absentmindedly as he tried to give Megumin the silent treatment. He found something interesting on the TV when suddenly…

"Aaah!"

Megumin tackled him!

"You're done being mad at me so soon?"

She smirked.

"Not so much done as… willing to delay."

Things escalated from there. Who knew anger sex could be so good? She had him sat upright with her on top.

"Since you used your healing magic… I demand a do-over!"

And so he was granted Ass-chan privileges for the second night in a row. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she rode him, her head lying on his shoulder. He could feel her small breasts brush against his chest as she moaned into his ear. As for his lower half? Words couldn't describe just how amazing it felt.

"Could a loli do this, Kazuma?"

He was actually wondering the same thing. What business did Megumin have being this talented in bed? It was actually causing him a most inconvenient problem…

"Megumin, slow down a bit!"

"Aw, is Kazuma a quickshot? How sad."

She took what he said and did the exact opposite. Was she trying to humiliate him?! Well if that's what she wanted… that's what she'd get: he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Megumin!"

He embraced Megumin tightly as he came deep inside her. As he finished, he laid back against the head of the bed.

"Quickshot."

"S-sorry..."

Really, it was her fault for being so aggressive. What was he apologizing for? There was an awkward silence between them.

"Megumin… are you... gonna get up?"

"You need to satisfy me first, Kazuma."

He was still inside her, yet... he was completely flaccid.

"Megumin, you'll have to wait a - mmmm..."

She shut him up with a French kiss and moved her hips back and forth, flexing her ass muscles to put pressure on his deflated son. She was doing everything she could to revive his lower half, like a nurse in a medical drama with a rapidly flatlining patient. Except she was fucking the patient. Bit of a breach of the Hippocratic oath, to be quite honest.

"Looks like you can try again, Kazuma..."

She smirked at him, her attempt to revive his arousal having been a success. And so went their evening. It honestly made him kind of sad, but Megumin's libido proved to far outpace his own. What a freak. By the end, he was basically begging for mercy.

"Megumin, if I come one more time there'll be blood."

"Hmph!"

She finally got up, smirking at him before turning around to show off a gaping Ass-chan. His semen leaked out onto the sheets, forming a concerningly large puddle.

"My balls hurt so bad..."

She looked down at the white lagoon.

"I… might have overdone it."

"You think?!"

"I get like this when I'm stressed! ... To destress I need to release a lot of energy. And I can't exactly use my explosion magic."

"So you turned our bed into your personal sex dungeon?!"

She rolled her eyes.

"I didn't force you to do anything. You could've stopped earlier."

"I'm supposed to be the biggest pervert in Axel! I can't just lose to some rookie!"

"Well, competition is a worthy cause… but you did lose. To me. So unless you'd like a rematch… don't push yourself too hard, okay?"

Ugh. It might hurt his pride, but he had to admit she was right… Shortly after, they both got up to deal with the mess they just caused. He felt like falling asleep right then and there, but somehow avoided it.

"Kazuma, it's like you cast Explosion and used up all your mana!"

He was beyond exhausted: he could barely move. He'd truly over-exerted himself. With great effort on his part, they made their way into the shower. Megumin was basically washing him all by herself. He did help a little… Okay, it's more accurate to say that he tried to help. He even tried using Drain Touch but it didn't help. How odd… and irritating.

"Hey, Megumin… is it weird that I find you washing me kinda hot?"

Megumin blushed a little.

"Not really, I guess?"

Kazuma found it bitterly ironic that he was receiving such an erotic treat when he could barely stay awake to enjoy it. Megumin suddenly looked like she'd remembered something.

"Kazuma, you should heal yourself."

"Good idea. Heal. What about you?"

Megumin crossed her arms disapprovingly and shook her head.

"Crimson Demons don't need healing magic after such acts."

Fine, Kazuma thought. Suit yourself, crazy girl… Unlike Megumin, he actually appreciated having healing magic: his balls were feeling a lot better now. Still totally empty, but they didn't hurt anymore. They got out of the shower and changed into clean clothes. He jumped in bed as soon as he could.

"Kazuma, aren't you hungry?"

"Yeah, but I'm too tired. I'll eat in the morning."

He pulled up the blanket and tried to fall asleep. Megumin had other plans.

"Do you need me to feed you?"

He sat up.

"What? No, you don't have to..."

"Eat."

She brought a bowl of ramen up to the bed, and started to spoon-feed him. Despite his objections… he enjoyed this?

"I'm kind of into this, too."

Megumin flinched and a bit more noodle than Kazuma expected entered his mouth.

"Aaah! Do you want to choke on your food?!"

"Sorry."

She paused for a moment.

"So you like me pampering you, huh?"

"Yeah… sorry for making you, though..."

"But I don't mind it, Kazuma. Just because it's you."

She ate her own dinner at the same time, but she was feeding him with her dominant hand. How sweet. After they finished, Megumin joined him under the covers. Kazuma soon fell asleep, having been drained of his energy by Ass-chan.

"So helpless… isn't that right, Chomusuke?"

"Meowww."

Indeed, thought the young mage. Her boyfriend could be so useless at times. But such things don't bother a girl in love.

A/N: This chapter is coming over a week after I wanted to have it done already, so I apologize for that. I'm trying to get a chapter done every week. I tried something different this time with the sex scene, trying to have a heavier focus on comedy, so let me know what you think about it. The last few chapters have been pretty heavily focused on just Kazuma and Megumin, but that's about to change soon. Their trip to the White House is coming up, so prepare for some spicy political drama.