Now where were we? Oh yes...right about here...
She started to walk backwards, tugging him along with her, "Okay. Then show me. Show me the difference El. Show me what I've been missing."
He stepped forward, felt her pulling him back towards her bedroom. Felt the Earth shift beneath them, aligning their paths once and for all. She was letting him in. Dropping the facade, breaking the wall. And she was doing it for him. And damn it, he wasn't going to let her down. And in the process, he was going to get everything he'd been waiting for, longing for. And it was about damn time. Once inside her bedroom, the slight confidence she had been feeling was beginning to slide away. The way he was looking at her was unnerving. She hadn't been this vulnerable with anyone ever. Looking up at him in the dimly lit room, she was taken back to the night in his apartment when he had asked her for this very thing…
She was halfway to the door with her shirt in her hands when she felt him grab her arm and spin her back into his arms afraid to let her leave, "Olivia." She let out an exasperated groan, "What is wrong with you? You either do or don't want to have sex? It's a simple question Elliot. What's with the hot and cold routine? If you want me just take me. If not...I'm a big girl. I can take the rejection." She shrugged her shoulders at him, "You're not making any sense Elliot. We have a routine. Work sucks. We end up at each other's house and we have mind blowing meaningless sex. I know this is a relatively new concept for you but it's really okay. I don't expect-"
Making Love. What did that even mean? She used to roll her eyes at people who used that term. Sex was sex. Wasn't it? Her hands were shaking as he continued to stare at her. He hadn't even touched her yet and already she knew she was wrong. This was different. So different. There was no way it couldn't be. No one had ever looked at her like that. No one had ever made her feel so important, so loved just by looking at her. She swallowed hard, fidgeted slightly.
She needed to break the tension somehow, otherwise she was going to fall apart, "So...this is my bedroom. I think you've seen it before. Do you need a tour or-"
He stepped closer to her, reached for her hand and squeezed, "No. I don't need a tour."
She nodded slowly, took her free hand and pointed towards the kitchen, "Need a snack? A cup of water or-"
"Liv." He laughed softly, lifted his hand and touched her lips, "It's okay. Breathe."
She huffed loudly, "Easy for you to say! You're not standing here being stared at like...like…"
"Like what?" He tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled, "Like you are the most beautiful, precious thing in the world?" He saw her face flush again, "At least that's what I'm going for…"
Her legs trembled and she had to grip his arms so she didn't fall over, "Be careful saying things like that Stabler. It might make a girl think you want to keep her forever."
He smiled harder and stepped all the way up to her, cradling her face in his hands, "That's exactly what I want."
She bit her lip, looked down at his lips just inches from hers, "Don't make promises you can't keep El."
He tilted her chin up again so she saw the sincerity in his eyes, "Hey...I mean it."
She fidgeted again, thought through her words carefully, "I'm not...I just think we shouldn't jump. Should take it slow…" She rolled her eyes at the absurdity of at all, "I mean eight years was slow but-"
"But I hear what you're saying." He smiled softly, "And I agree. I'm not proposing to you right now." Her eyes went wide and her lips parted softly making him laugh, "Yeah. I said...right now."
She cleared her throat and whispered, "Which would imply that someday…"
"Someday…" He nodded his head, "Someday I'm going to propose to you Olivia." He saw her eyes well up with tears, "And someday I hope you'll say yes. Someday we'll get married...and I'll give you whatever you want. Just say the word. And it's yours."
She stared up at him, saw her future flash before her eyes. Saw all the things she had wanted, dreamed of, thought she'd never have. "El?" He traced the side of her face, "All I've ever wanted was to be enough…"
He took a deep breath, leaned in and kissed her softly, "You are enough Liv. More than enough. More than I deserve. And I'm going to love you for the rest of our lives. And right now...I'm going to prove it to you. Okay?"
She smiled sweetly at him, felt the pieces of her heart start to mend, "Okay."
"Okay." He touched the hem of her sweatshirt, he smiled, their sweatshirt, "Can I?
She shrugged and ran a hand up his arm, her fingers barely touching him, "It's yours. You can do whatever you want with it."
He felt a jolt of desire rush through him, this woman was going to kill him. "For the record it's our sweatshirt. You said we were sharing it." He saw her face soften, "But were you talking about the sweatshirt, or you? Are you mine Olivia?"
Her mouth hung open a little and she was pretty sure she was going to fall over right there. He had barely touched her and she was already on edge, "Elliot…"
He moved in closer, slid one hand up her side and felt her shiver, "Are you mine Liv? Mine and only mine?"
His lips grazed her neck and she moaned, her knees buckling sliggly, she held onto him for support, "Yes. God Yes...I'm yours."
He smiled against her flushed skin, felt her pulse quicken, her breath becoming more shallow, "So no more games? No more pushing me away?" He kissed the hollow of her throat and pulled away to look at her, "No guys named Chad at skeevy bars?"
She laughed softly, "No more games. No more pushing you away. No more Chad's."
"Thank God." His lips fell on hers and he sighed into her mouth, "Let me show you Liv. Let me show you what real love is."
She was aching for him to touch her, but she knew he was going to drag this out. And she had to let him. Had to give him the control he was asking for. The thing that was so fucking scary for her. She had to be in charge. Had to protect herself. But he was asking her to give a little here. Or in this case, a lot. He was asking her to trust him in a way she had never been able to trust anyone. She smiled softly, lifted her arms up over her head and smiled, "Okay."
Elliot looked at her, a small, coy yet confident smile on her face. Ready to risk it all. For him. For them. The wall was gone, she was with him. And now, their future lay ahead of them. Reaching out, he lifted the hem of the sweatshirt, carefully pulled it up over her body. She shivered as her bare arms hit the cool air of the room. She only stood there in a tight tank top and it was clear nothing else was underneath. He swallowed hard, let his eyes roam over her. He didn't hesitate, needed to see all of her. He had missed her so damn much.
Peeling off her shirt she still didn't push him away. He pushed down her sweatpants right after and smiled to himself. She had gone commando. She wanted this just as much as he did. He saw all her bronze skin glowing in the light, saw her chest rise and fall. Her arms moved to cover herself and he knew she was feeling exposed. Feeling vulnerable. He shook his head, "Don't hide from me Liv. Please."
The pleading in his voice, set her straight. Told her to remember who this was. Who she was with. Taking a deep breath, she lowered her arms. He stepped back then, she saw him bite his lip and look her over. Every bare inch of her. Suddenly he was kneeling in front of her. He moved his hands to one leg, but his eyes stayed trained on her. "What are you doing?"
He smiled and pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh, parting her legs, "What do you think I'm doing?"
Her hands shot out and grabbed onto his shoulders as his hands slid up her calf, "Trying to slowly kill me?"
He chuckled and left an open mouth kiss along the side of her knee as he lifted her leg, "Nope. Loving you. That's what I'm doing."
She felt his hands slide up the back of her calves, and she gasped, "Elliot…"
"I've got you." His fingers dug into her skin, "I've got you Liv. Just relax."
She was about to say something else but his lips started moving up her leg, slowly, so slowly. His fingers massaged her skin and her words died on her lips. Her head fell back, one hand stayed on his shoulder, the other gripped the back of his neck. His lips moved up to the top of her thigh, kissed her hip and closer to where she needed him most. But suddenly he was moving away and she gripped him harder, "Elliot…"
He chuckled again, as his lips moved down her other leg, falling the opposite path as before. "Patience."
She sighed and smiled to herself, "Starting to think this is payback for-"
"Shh…" His laugh was low but he opened his mouth and ran his tongue up from her knee to her hip bone, "Just relax."
She licked her lips and closed her again, "I'm trying…"
He pushed her legs open wider, used one hand to massage her left thigh, and used his other hand to lift her leg and drape it over his shoulder. Her grip on him got tighter, and he pressed her other leg firmly into the ground to keep her steady. His mouth moved towards her center, he could feel the warmth of her, and he moaned gently. Leaning in, he wrapped his lips around her and she started to shake. He knew that she wasn't going to last long but he didn't care. He had no intention of stopping. His tongue slipped between her folds, "Jesus Elliot…"
He smiled, ran his hands up and down the back of her thighs. He listened to her breathing, focussed on her movements, the sounds she made, to let him know if he was on the right track. When her legs started to tremble, he pulled away and she groaned in frustration. He smiled, pushed himself up off the bed, "Don't worry. I'm not done yet."
He yanked his shirt off and moved back towards her, capturing her lips with his. His sweatpants soon followed. Sliding his hands around her waist, he moved lower, gripped her ass firmly in his hands and squeezed. He heard her gasp in surprise as he lifted her up. Her legs instantly wrapped around his waist, her arms went around his neck, leaning into his kiss. He stepped forward, and slowly began to lower her to the bed without ever breaking their kiss. Ler legs slid away from him as she settled back into the mattress. His hands moved her further up on the bed, pulling away from her lips he smiled down at her, "See? Not done. You okay?"
She nodded slowly, "More than."
He moved his face down, pressed a kiss in between her breasts, "Hey Liv?"
She gripped the back of his neck and smiled at him, "Yeah?"
Lowering his hand, he pushed open her thighs, let his finger slide inside of her, "You're so beautiful."
Her back arched up off the mattress, "Oh God…"
He smiled, and wrapped his lips around her nipple, "That's it...I've got you Liv. I'm right here."
Squeezing her eyes tight she pressed her heels into the mattress, opening herself wider to him, "Elliot...please."
His mouth moved down again and she shivered. Soon he was right back where he had been before pulling her way. Sending her right back onto that upward path that she knew she would come crashing down from. Her hands gripped the sheets on either side of her, her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. She was so wrapped up in him she felt like everything had stopped. Like her world had completely frozen. As he continued, all those feelings of worry, all those feelings of being not good enough melted away. His free hand gripped her thigh, pulled her even closer and when he moaned against her, the vibration sent her over the edge.
She felt it in her toes, the explosion that ripped through her was unlike anything she had ever felt. She heard herself screaming his name, but it sounded far away. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart in her ears. Even after she started to come down, he still used his mouth against her, still continued to love her. When he started to move upwards, she realized she was crying. Lifting her hand, she touched her cheek, felt the tear slide down her cheek. When he was looking down at her again, she saw his eyes flicker over to the tear marks, "Hey…why are you crying?"
She reached for him, holding his face in her hands she smiled, "It's okay. It's not…I'm not…I just...
He understood then. She was overwhelmed. But not upset. She was feeling everything as deeply as he felt. Allowing herself to get lost in what they were. What they had. What they could be. He pressed his hand into her cheek, leaned down and kissed her softly, "I love you Olivia Benson."
He moved then, and suddenly he was inside of her and she gasped, "Oh God. I love you Elliot. I love you. I love you."
He smiled as the words tumbled from her lips. Reaching down, he gripped her thighs, wrapped her legs around him again. The movement caused him to go even deeper, filling her completely and she cried out for him. He met her, stroke for stroke. Slowly, but powerfully. He rocked against her, staring down at her, daring her to look away. But she didn't. She stared right back at him, right into his blue eyes. And he knew. She was not running away from this.
He tangled his hand in her hair, pulled her face forward, pressed his lips to hers. Her hands slid up under his arms, she gripped his back, dug her nails into his muscles. Felt him groan, but he never faltered in his movements. He was moving so slowly, yet still bringing her close to the brink all over again. In and out, over and over. She was so lost in him. Lost in her emotions. She had almost lost this. Almost pushed it away. Almost missed out on something so beautiful. She was so consumed by him, she was surprised when he rolled them over. Gasping, she braced her hands on his arms, but then he was sitting up with her. Her legs settled around his waist again. He pulled her hair back with one hand, pressed his lips against her neck, let his teeth slide against her skin as he used his other hand to roll her hips against him.
Tugging harder, her head fell back and she squeezed his arms to hold her in place, "Oh my God…"
"Just like that…" He smiled against her neck, bit down gently, "Nice and slow."
She smiled, rolled her head to the side, "Any slower and you will kill me El."
"Told you Liv. Not trying to kill you. Just love you." He pulled her face closer to his, "See the difference yet?"
Her breath caught in her throat when she looked at him. The way he was staring at her. The way his eyes told her he loved her, cherished her, would do anything for her. A soft smile spread on her lips, she touched his cheek, kissed him slowly, "I see the difference."
He bit his lip, let his eyes roam over her face, down the front of her body. He watched her move against him, rolling her hips, never going faster than he had set the pace for them. He knew she was with him. Understood what this was. Understood what they were. She trusted him. Was allowing herself to explore something different with him, because she trusted him. Because she loved him.
He smiled then, lifted his eyes back to her face, pulled her face closer, "My God Olivia…"
His hand gripped her hip harder and she sighed, "El…" Her head fell back, "Right there…"
He pulled her down harder, pushing himself all the way into her, "Come on Liv…"
Grabbing a handful of her hair, she tossed it to the side, pushed him down on his back and he fell with a sigh. But he smiled at her when she kissed him and sat back up. Both of his hands found her hips, rocked her back and forth. Her hands slid down the front of his chest, scratched over his nipples and he sighed asking, "Do you feel it yet? How much I love you?"
She moaned softly, lifted one of his hands off her hips and pressed it against her lips, she bit down gently, "God yes."
His thumb pushed between her lips and he smiled, "You're so fucking beautiful."
She smiled, pushed his hand down again, over her chest, down her belly, then right to where they were connected, "I love you."
Now that she had said it once, she couldn't stop. Not that he wanted her too. He wanted to hear her say it over and over, shout it from the rooftops, tell anyone and everyone so they knew she was his and he was hers. It had been too damn long. He had waited so long but looking at her now as she moved above him, the way she smiled at him, he knew he would have waited forever. She was more than worth the wait.
His thumb brushed against her clit and she tensed, but only for a moment, "Don't stop Liv."
Her head fell forward and she groaned, still she moved her hips, still he touched her so gently. It was almost torturously slow and yet it felt so fucking good. So powerful. She didn't want it to end. She smiled to herself then knowing, she never had to let him go now. He was here. He was asking her to let him in. Forever. Looking down at him she realized even if she wanted to, she couldn't let him go again. She could never be touched by another man and not think of him. She could never want another man.
His thumb moved in a circular motion and she bit down hard on her lip, "Shit…"
"That's it…" He smiled softly, proudly up at her, "Let go Liv."
She looked down at him and shook her head, "Not without you." She leaned down again and kissed him, "Never without you."
He couldn't help but smile knowing that they were finally on the same page again. Rolling them over to where they had started, he sighed and looked at her. He lifted her hand off his shoulder, kissed each finger, never stopping the movements of his lips. He pressed a kiss into her palm, then threaded his fingers with hers and held it above her head, "I told you I'd hold your hand."
"You did." She arched into him and sighed, "Because you're my best friend. Right?"
Leaning in, he kissed her, his voice was low, laced with love and affection, "That's right."
She felt that familiar pull, wrapped her legs around his waist and gave in, "El, please."
He squeezed her hand and sighed, "I'm with you. Always. Let go."
She wanted to close her eyes, wanted to block out the world but she couldn't turn away from him. Couldn't shy away from this moment. She needed to live in it, feel him, see him, acknowledge all that he was giving her. And for once in her life she had to believe she was worthy of this. Looking into his blue eyes, she finally understood she was. She deserved this. Deserved him.
She felt him begin to move just a little faster, and she understood. She smiled, touched his face and whispered, "Stay with me tonight and every night El. Stay with me."
He sighed, rested his forehead against hers, "Olivia. My God Olivia…"
She arched up into him, his hands gripped her sides and her hand and he whispered her name over and over again. The tears came again. Hard and fast and she didn't try to push them away. She gave in. Allowed herself to feel the enormity of this moment. The way it was changing her life, putting her world on a different path. As they both fell over the edge, he kissed away her tears, whispered words of love, promises for their future. And she believed in all of it. And for the first time in her life, she didn't feel scared. She just felt...loved.
When she looked at him again, trying to catch his breath. She saw him smile. The corners of his lips pulling up into that grin. The one that drove her crazy. The one she could see with her eyes closed. Every night in her dreams. And yet this wasn't a dream. He was here. He was right here. And he wasn't going anywhere. She took a shaky breath, never let go of him and smiled, "So...that's what I've been missing?"
He let out a little laugh and smiled, "Yes. But...the thing is…"
His voice cracked and she didn't understand, "El?"
He sighed, leaned down and kissed her softly, "I've never had this either Liv. We were both missing out."
Her breath got caught in her throat. What he was saying meant more to her than she could explain. He was telling her that he had never felt something like this. He was telling her that she was special. That she meant more to him than anyone had. And it wasn't a line. He wasn't telling her what she wanted to hear. Needed to hear. He was telling her the truth. Because what they shared was different. They were partners. In every dance sense of the word. And God it was beautiful.
She held his face firmly in her hands, "Thank you."
He held himself above her, still hadn't let go of her hand, "Why are you thanking me?"
She smiled, leaned up and kissed him softly, "For coming here tonight. For refusing to leave. For making me tear down the wall. For loving me."
He sighed, turned her slowly so she lay beside him, "Liv, there was no other choice. I know the other night I was angry...but it was more than that. I was scared. And I was hurting. But if you let me, I'll keep fighting. For this. For us."
She curled up against his side, touched his jaw with her fingers and spoke in a whisper, "That's good to hear. Because I think we both know somewhere along the line I'm going to get scared again. Whether I mean to or not."
He moved her hand to his lips and kissed her wrist, "I know. It's okay. I'll still be right here."
Her body ached, and sleep was beginning to overtake her. But she was afraid to miss anything, "Elliot…"
Knowing her as well as he did, he smiled and pulled her down against his chest. Dropping a kiss to the top of her head he ran his fingers down her back, "Close your eyes. I'll still be here when you wake up."
She smiled against his chest, breathed him in and whispered, "That's new…"
"Is that a good thing?" He asked, held his breath, waiting for some push back.
Instead, she wrapped her arms around him, slid her leg between his and sighed, "A very good thing. I couldn't let you go if I tried. I want you here El. Stay."
He smiled, pulled her closer and closed his eyes, "That's all I wanted Liv. Go to sleep. I love you."
She was half asleep then, but sighed happily, "I love you too."
Early the next morning she started to wake up. The first thing she noticed was the rise and fall of whatever it was she was sleeping on. She froze for a moment. Waited, wondered. And then she remembered.
Elliot.
He was here. He was beside her. Where he always was, but this was so much different than before. A sleepy smile spread along her face, she tried to move to look at him but his arms held her tighter. She heard him inhale, press his lips to the top of her head and she sigehd, "El?"
He tangled his hands in her hair, "I'm here."
She smiled, lifted her head and looked down at him, "Hi."
He rubbed his eyes, trying to adjust to the light, "Hi back."
Biting her lip, she watched him. Waking up. She'd seen him sleep in the cribs before. The occasional nap in the squad car during a stake out. But this was so different. He was in her bed. Lying beside her. The morning after they had...she shivered slightly and he sensed it. Rolling them to their sides, he reached out and touched her cheek. Waited. And she knew he was waiting for the fall out. For her to say something to break his heart, and it killed her.
Reaching for his hand against her skin, she threaded her fingers with his hoping her words would calm him, "I'm really glad you stayed."
She saw him let out a little breath, clearly both relieved and happy by her response. His voice dipped low, and he pulled her closer, "I'm really glad you let me stay."
She smiled, kissed him softly and then looked past him, "It's early."
He groaned, "It's Sunday. Why are we up?"
She laughed and traced the lines on his face, "Because our bodies and brains don't know how to sleep at normal hours. It's a cop thing.'
He sighed and pulled her closer, pressing his lips to her forehead, "A cop thing. Got it."
She pressed her hands into his chest, felt his heart beating under her hand and smiled, "So that whole spiel they give you when you join the force...about not fraternizing with your partner?" She heard him start to laugh, and it was low and sexy as hell, still laced with sleep, "That ship sure sailed."
He squeezed her tighter, "Yeah. About 8 years ago."
She was quiet then, traced the line of his collarbone, "Did you uh...ever with...anyone else you worked with?"
He held her close and shook his head, "No. I mean Kathy and I got married so young and I wouldn't have cheated on her. But no."
He didn't answer and yet she knew what he was thinking, "El-"
"Cassidy." He cringed as he said the name, "You and fucking Cassidy really irrked me."
She sighed, pulled away slightly and rested her weight on her elbow to look down at him, "Elliot...do we have to do this?"
He swallowed hard, wondering if he was playing with fire. He had just gotten her to a good place. Would this push her away? He sighed and shrugged, "We don't have too."
She could sense it was still bothering him, he was chewing hard on his lower lip, "But…"
He sighed, clenched and unclenched his jaw, "Why Cassidy?"
She lay back on the bed, stared up at the ceiling and whispered, "I guess for the same reason that you were with Dani." Turning her head slightly, she saw him looking at her, "He was the next warm body. And I couldn't have you."
He watched her carefully, studied her face to see if he was understanding her, "So you didn't…"
"No El. I didn't love him." She frowned, "That day when you asked me about it...I wanted to die. I was so embarrassed that it ever even happened. And to have to talk to you of all people about it." She shook her head, "It was a mistake. A huge mistake. But I was lonely and so stupid back then."
He licked his lips, moved his hand closer and cupped her face, "I hated asking. Hated thinking about it. I had no right...you weren't mine."
She leaned into his touch and her cheeks flushed, "El? I was always yours."
He let out a shaky breath, leaned in and kissed her softly, "Do you remember what else I said to you that day?"
Her hand slid up his forearm and she smiled, "Of course I do. I'm your partner. For better or worse."
He nodded slowly, kissed her again, "I meant it then."
"And you mean it now?" She felt him roll them over again and she settled under the weight of him.
"Always." He kissed her twice, let his lips linger over hers, "We're still partners Liv. Always will be."
She reached for him, held his face firmly in her hands, "For better or worse sounds a hell of a lot like a marriage vow."
He smiled, and then let out a little laugh, "It does, doesn't it?" He rolled his eyes, "I hate to admit it but Chad may have been right about one thing after all."
She groaned and shook her head, "Please don't mention him when we're naked in bed."
He smiled proudly, "But he's not here. I am. Right where I belong. Right?"
She bit her lip and sighed when she felt his hands start to wander, "Y-yes."
He leaned in and pressed his lips to her neck, "Do you know what he was right about?"
"Huh?" He chuckled and she cursed his name, he was distracting her and he knew it, "Elliot...don't-"
"You said our work is like a marriage. He said it was like I was your husband." He slid his hand down the front of her, slipped between her legs and smiled, "I liked that. Though I wanted to throttle him when he mentioned talking to your kids someday about-"
"El." The way she said his name made him lift his head to look at her, "I just...I…"
Some sort of internal conflict was going on in her head and he knew it. Slowly, he crawled back up over her and lay beside her, "Hey…" He tilted her chin up slowly, "What just happened?" She shook her head, but a tear escaped the corner of her eyes, "What did I say? Is it because I brought up Chad? I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to tease you I just-"
"No." She sighed, sat up and tugged the sheet with her, "It's just…" He waited, recognizing she needed the space to think, "I was wondering…" She lifted her head to his, "Last night you said…" She reached for him then, tangled their hands together, "That you wanted to propose someday."
He frowned, scooted closer to her and whispered, "I did." She didn't respond and his heart sped up, "Is that...not what you want?"
"No." She looked at him and then frowned, "I mean yes. I want...I want that. I just…"
"We agreed it didn't have to be now. I don't expect it to be now. It would be too soon for a lot of reasons. Kathy-" He saw her cringe and he understood, "Liv…"
"I just...are you sure? I mean you've done all of this...been the husband." She looked down at their hands again, "You have four children. And I adore them El. I do. I'd do anything for them. But…"
"But you want children of your own." He saw her nod her head slowly, reaching out with his free hand he, tilted her face up again, "And you'll have them."
She looked into his eyes, trying to tell if he was lying but all she saw was sincerity, "You want more kids?"
He smiled, leaned down and kissed her gently, "Only if I get to have them with you." A tear escaped the corner of her eye and he smiled, "Liv, to see you pregnant. With our child. To watch you hold them...be the Mother you were born to be. That…" He let out a shaky breath and shook his head as if in disbelief, "That would be the greatest gift."
She reached for him, touched his lips with her finger tips, "I love you. So much that it terrifies me sometimes. But I want...I want a life with you. A real life. Not just the idea of one. I want all of it."
He smiled, "I know it's scary. I'm scared too. But like I said...the fact that we are scared is what tell us that this is real. You and I are so real Liv. And people wait a lifetime for this...but I don't want to wait that long."
She kissed him gently, "What about...your kids? What if they don't...if they aren't okay with this? With us? Me?"
"My kids adore you. And yes...it may be an adjustment. But they know that Kathy and I needed to divorce. It wasn't healthy for any of us. All the arguing and back and forth. They have been much better about it lately. Plus, Kathy's been dating. I met him. Gave me approval to have him around the kids. It will be hard I'm sure. But this is good Liv. You and I are good."
"I'm happy for Kathy. But I'm still worried that she'll…" She looked down, "Everyone is going to think this has been going on for years. And I suppose in some small way it has…"
He sighed, "I can't deny that emotionally...you and I were…" He cleared his throat, "But we both know we never crossed any lines. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks. We know the truth. My kids, Kathy, they know the truth. That's all I care about. That and making sure I protect this...protect you. Protect us."
The smile that lit up her face could have knocked him over and she sighed, "Damn...who are you and what have you done with my partner Detective Stabler?"
He laughed and lowered her to the bed again, "He's still here. And he'll sure come make an appearance if someone tries to hurt you or make a comment about this. They can say whatever they want but they'll deal with me."
Olivia beamed up at him, "You're going to defend my honor Stabler?"
He smiled and leaned down, kissing her gently, "Damn right I am. Haven't I always?"
Her face softened, "You have…"
He looked right at her and sighed, "I know that you can protect yourself. Defend yourself without me. You prove that everyday. But I will never let anyone hurt you. In anyway. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I do." She took a deep breath, "It's hard for me to admit this...because I've prided myself on being independent. Never needing anyone. But…" Her voice cracked and she smiled, "It feels damn good to know that I can lean on you. Because I know that you'll never let me fall. You never have."
Her words settled in his chest and filled him with such hope. He knew that took a hell of a lot for her to admit and he was so damn glad she had said it. "And I never will Liv. I never will."
He settled over her again, pulling her flush against his chest and immediately she melted into him. Gave herself over to him in every sense of the word and knew that this was right where she belonged.
After all the angst...there will be another chapter of fluff after this and an epilogue. Because we freaking deserve it lol. Next chapter will be mega fluff and I'm here for it. Hope you are too.