Disclaimer: I don't own LotR. It's not possible for me to. The books were published before I knew what the first letter of the alphabet was. This story is based on If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, whose author I can't quite remember. Oh yeah, I don't own that either.
If You Give Legolas the Ring of Power…By Meii-chan
If you give Legolas the ring of power,
He'll be corrupted by it.
After all,
He's not Sam Gamgee or Tom Bombadil.
He'll receive from the ring,
Unnatural long life—
Despite the fact that he's already immortal.
But the power of the ring,
Will grow nonetheless.
Some fangirls will leave,
Since he now takes the appearance,
Of a very tall Gollum.
Some who stay, however,
Will takes the ring away from him,
Lest he starts living in caves and calling the ring "Precious".
So they give the ring to the official ring bearer of Middle Earth.
Frodo gets so scared,
He gives it to Sam.
Sam decides plants are better,
So he gives it to Gandalf.
Gandalf is convinced that it's evil,
So he throws it into the mines of Moria.
There, Gimli finds it,
And becomes so entranced by the shiny object,
That he walks of the side of a cliff.
Aragorn finds the ring,
And gives it to Arwen as an engagement ring.
Elrond finds it in Rivendell,
And because he wants Arwen to go to the Gray Havens,
He gives the ring to Eowyn.
Eowyn knows that Faramir wants the ring to protect Gondor,
So she gives the ring to him.
Faramir then has a dream about his brother.
So he wants gives it to Boromir.
Boromir is already dead,
So Faramir drops the ring on a random patch of ground.
Merry finds it in Farmer Maggot's farm,
But before he can do anything,
Merry gets killed by Farmer Maggot's dogs.
After stealing three carrots, nine mushrooms, and seven pies,
Pippin finds the ring.
Then Sauron shows up to claim what is his.
Sauron asks Pippin to give him the ring.
Pippin being the smart one,
Bargains with Sauron.
He asks for something in return.
Something like: Mushroom Land.
Sauron agrees to Pippin's rather sad attempt on bargaining.
Pippin, being the idiotic one, agrees.
Pippin gives the ring to Sauron.
Sauron gives a bone-chilling, evil laugh,
Like most villains after accomplishing something.
Sauron covers the lands with the ring of power,
With a mushroom-ish darkness.
All of Middle Earth is than destroyed.
Then Eru, the one, gets angry.
And Eru banishes the fangirls from what is left of Middle Earth—
That is—Nothing.
Legolas, on the other hand,
Somehow appears in the Gray Havens.
He finds out about the fangirl-repelling-ness of the ring…
So he'll probably want another ring of power.
~End~
Moral of the Story: Don't give Legolas the ring of power.