Friday, March 28, 2014. 6:50 PM. Corduroy Cabin, Gravity Falls, Oregon.
Manly Dan is sitting on the couch stuffing his face with chip-flavored crackers as he listens to the radio playing one of Sev'ral Timez's songs. He has the entire house to himself; Wendy is out on a date, Marcus is at the arcade with his friends, and Kevin is at a sleepover, bringing over Gus as the latter has never been to one before.
The buff lumberjack – whose heavy weight is causing the end of the couch he is sitting on to slump downwards – started humming to the tune of the song. Just as he finished his crackers, crunched up the box, and successfully threw it into the trash can several feet away, he heard tires screeching outside.
Manly Dan turned off his radio. The front door swung open to reveal a grouchy-looking 17-year-old girl.
"Wendy?" Dan raised his eyebrows. "What are you doing back so early? I thought you won't come back until eight."
The surly twelve-grader took a deep breath, and then let out an angry response. "I decide to give myself ONE MORE CHANCE at dating…and look how I messed that up, AGAIN! What the heck is wrong with guys these days? Or actually…what is wrong with ME, for only going out with LOSERS!"
Wendy threw her purse across the living room and stomped towards the second floor. Manly Dan listened as his daughter made her way up the creaky stairs and slam her bedroom door shut.
The couch suddenly gave way below Manly Dan, causing the giant to land onto the wooden floor with a big crash. However, he is still staring upstairs in confusion and deep concern over what just happened that could have made Wendy come home early from a date she was looking forward to earlier.
9:20 PM.
It's been about two and a half hours since Wendy came back. Manly Dan wanted to go and talk to her, but he knows she needs some time to cool off. He spent most of the time throwing out the broken sofa his bottom snapped in half and chewing Marcus out for coming home past his curfew of 7:30 PM. Marcus has been sent to bed, and the single parent is still out in the living room, wondering how he is going to watch TV now that the fifth sofa he has broken in a year is now gone.
Manly Dan looked up at the clock. Kevin and Gus haven't checked in with him yet…those darn boys, they could be doing anything at their friend's house.
The lumberjack then realized that Wendy hasn't once stepped out of her room since she stormed back home. He figured that now may be a good time to go and comfort her. He may be rough and intimidating on the outside…but if his little girl has been hurt in any way, his fragile heart cracks.
Manly Dan made his way upstairs uneasily, as he had to pull his foot out of a floorboard several times. He approached Wendy's room and knocked on the door as gently as he could.
"Wendy?" Dan called out with a still-raspy but caring voice. "Are you still in there?"
As he expected, no answer came. Manly Dan slowly opened the door and looked inside the room only illuminated by the desk lamp. Wendy is lying on the bed, her back towards him.
Assuming that Wendy has fallen asleep, Dan started to close the door. Then Wendy said something.
"You can come in, dad."
Dan nearly broke off the door handle upon hearing that his daughter was awake this whole time. He opened the door fully, and saw his daughter sit upright and rub her eyes.
Dan entered and sat down next to Wendy on her bed. Wendy flew up a few inches and landed back onto her covers with a puff, but her facial expression remained the same.
Wendy let out a large sigh, and looked up at her enormous dad. Manly Dan could see the hurt in her eyes, which penetrated him deeply. So much for being manly…but nothing is more important to him than his baby girl.
"Are you…," Manly Dan tried initiating conversation. He cleared his throat, and continued. "Are you willing to tell me what happened?"
Wendy made another sigh. Manly Dan wrapped his massive arm around her and pulled her towards him. Wendy leaned onto her dad's rock-hard shoulder.
"Wendy? Come on…talk to me," Dan continued. "Weren't you supposed to be on a date with Jason?"
"Yes, I was," Wendy replied sooner than Dan anticipated. "Until I realized that he was just a false hope and only a reminder of my terrible luck with guys."
"What did he do? Unlike many of your past boyfriends…he actually seemed like a nice guy."
"Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy. But he is really no different than all the others I dated. And that just makes everything that I've been doing these past few months all the more depressing."
"I still don't follow. What did Jason do to you?"
"He was seeing another girl behind my back!" Wendy blurted. Manly Dan only sighed. This isn't the first time Wendy suffered a broken heart because the guy she was seeing was cheating on her.
"It all started out like every other date…we were there at the diner, waiting for our order to come…and then his phone, which he had lying with the screen up right in the middle of the table, started ringing. I didn't know who was calling, but for some reason, he had labeled this person 'real girlfriend.'"
"Oh no…," Manly Dan can't help expressing his disappointment.
"The girl who was calling was his 'real girlfriend'?! Then who was I to him? His 'fake girlfriend'?! Is that what he has labeled me in his phone contacts? Probably. Anyways, he tried to grab the phone before I could, and I clicked the 'answer' button…and what do you know, it's the girl from his math or science class or whatever. Long story short, turned out Jason had 'accidentally' booked a date with her at the same time as our date."
Manly Dan let out a huge sigh. "And let me guess…you dumped him?"
"I confronted him over it, and he confessed that yes, he has been dating another girl behind my back. For how long I have no idea. But I didn't need to hear any more details; him labeling this other girl his 'real girlfriend' was enough to convince me that he doesn't think I am worthy of him. So I got up and left the diner without saying another word."
Wendy stopped talking, having gotten her story out. Dan doesn't know what to say. He only made another sigh.
"Dad…," Wendy started up again.
"Yes, honey?"
Wendy took a deep breath. "Do you think…there's something wrong with me?"
"Something wrong with you? What are you talking about? It's that Jason dude who is the one with the problem, not you; he's the one who made you upset. Oh, he better watch out for me now."
"Dad."
"Yeah?"
"You never really approved of the boys I go out with…but with Jason, you had no objections. But he should have received the same suspicious treatment from you, just like the ones before him. I guess what I'm saying is that…why do I keep going out with lousy guys? How come they are the only ones who are attracted to me? And why am I dumb enough to fall for each one every single time?"
"Wendy, you were much younger when you went out with those previous boys. And Jason just so happened to be good at putting up a straight face. That's none of your fault. You've matured quite a lot in the one, one and a half-year period you've been taking a break from relationships."
"I was taking a break. After my break-up with Robbie V, I started reflecting on the pattern that keeps happening to me…a lowlife comes up to me, and thinking it wouldn't hurt to go out with him, agree to, well, go out with him. And I end up actually falling for him. And then he does something that breaks my heart. I realized this kept happening, and I figured, why not just stop dating guys for a while? Clearly I needed to re-organize my personal standards when it comes to boyfriends. So for the entirety of my junior year and most of the first semester of my senior year, I just stayed away from guys…luckily I wasn't asked out once in that time period – well, with the exception of Danny Feldman, who wanted to take me back, but he was the one who claimed I was out of his league first and dumped me. And then, sometime in December, Jason asked me out…and that was when I thought all the self-reflection would pay off. He was actually a good student, with decent grades and a clean disciplinary record, so I went out with him. And things took off from there. We even shared our first kiss under a mistletoe on Christmas Eve."
Wendy let out yet another sigh as she pauses. Manly Dan is still paying full attention, not wanting to insert any additional comments just yet.
"Now I'm going to look back at that sweet moment with regret and sadness," Wendy continued. "He even wrote me a poem for Valentine's Day…but I guess by that point he was already seeing that Amy or Amelia girl behind my back. He's such a liar, and a good one too. And that basically proves my point that I haven't improved at all. Turns out I still have low standards for guys; otherwise I could have seen through his deception."
Wendy made a groan and rubbed her eyes. "Let's just face it…I have bad taste in guys. Idiots keep coming to me, and I was and still am an idiot for loving them back."
Wendy just sat there, staring ahead at the still-open door into the brightly-lit hallway. Dan re-adjusted himself on the bed, and looked down at his daughter.
"Wendy."
The girl looked back up at her dad.
"Wendy, you're not an idiot," Manly Dan insisted. "Jason really did seem like a good guy when I first got to meet him back in December. Even I was fooled by his charm. It's not your fault he was a backstabber. I don't think anyone would have guessed that he's the type of guy who would secretly see two girls at once. I do hope he receives a nice greeting the next time he meets his so-called 'real girlfriend.' What kind of guy even sticks labels like that?"
"A guy that only a fool like me would be willing to go out with," Wendy mumbled.
"Wendy, stop being so hard on yourself. You're not a fool. You were right to have taken that break. You have matured, I can see that myself."
"Dad, you don't understand. On the outside, I may seem like an intimidating, strong-willed, hot-headed girl…but on the inside, I long for true romantic companionship. I want to find a guy, dad. I want to find the right one. But I just don't know how to handle an actual relationship, or see when a guy is really just pulling my leg. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to tell which guys are good and which ones are bad now, given how Jason was able to trick me."
Wendy huddled closer to Manly Dan. "Dad, I'm going to be graduating this year…and throughout middle school and high school, I've had terrible romantic experiences. I don't know where I'll be going after this summer…maybe community college, because all the four-year institutions I've applied to so far have rejected me outright…but community college is a place of losers, those who saw the importance of school too late. The guys there, I'm sure, are going to be no better than the ones I keep running into in high school."
"Now let's not jump to conclusions about community college that quickly," Manly Dan responded. "Yes, maybe you could have applied yourself more in your studies, and maybe a fair number of others at whichever one you chose to go to had made the same academic mistakes as you. But don't assume every guy you will meet at your potential community college is a selfish, ignorant nitwit because, well, it's community college and those schools aren't really looked upon as the best higher education institutes. But even if a guy did end up there because of a poor academic record, he may make up in a sweet, honest personality who would be willing to remain loyal and respectful to you. Just like you, I know you aren't the most fitting person for a classroom, but you are strong, dependable, and intelligent in your own way. You deserve a good guy. And a good guy will come to you, I promise."
"You sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm sure about that. Otherwise how can an impulsive, ill-tempered brute who resorts to punching to solve problems like me end up winning the heart of your mom? I thought no girl would be willing to go out with a guy who was always angry like me…but she accepted me for who I am anyway."
"Yeah. You were more soft-hearted when mom was still alive," Wendy broke a smile.
"Ah, those were good times. She helped solved my temper issues, and I'll admit that I have been slipping ever since she died, but…," Manly Dan only sighed.
"You know, it's because of how you and mom were always so sweet and romantic with each other which is why I hope I can one day have a similar relationship with my own future husband," Wendy continued. "But I guess I let that fantasy get in the way of reality."
"Reality is never easy. I mean, I lost your mom…things don't get any more real than that," Manly Dan puffed. "But we just got to accept it. Maybe how I have handled things since your mom's death weren't exactly the best of ways – considering how I now like crushing things for fun again – but I'm sure you will learn the lessons from me, and from yourself. And as I said already, you have been learning. So trust me when I say, you are improving, and the path you are taking will lead you to the guy you have always been looking for."
"Thanks dad," Wendy put her arms around her big father. "I love you.
"I love you too, baby girl," Manly Dan said as he reciprocated the hug. "And I'll always be here if you need me. Right now, until you do find your right man, I'm the only one you need."
"Agreed."
The two sat there, embraced in a massive bear-hug in the dimly-lit room. As Manly Dan said, the only man Wendy needs at the moment is him; her tough, protective daddy, who would do anything to make her happy. Sure, Wendy can always continue trying to find the right guy, trying out chemistry on dates, hanging out just as friends…but at least she will always have her dad by her side if all things fail. And just like he says, Wendy is learning and always has, and one day, she will meet her special man.
And that special man is somewhere in a small suburban town south of Oregon. Some might say the best representation of him is a pine tree.
Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and produced by Disney Television Animation. All characters and related media belong to Disney.