AN: Hello lovely readers! Sorry it's been a minute. I was out of town on a mini-vacay last weekend. It was much needed and well enjoyed.
Thanks for your thoughts. Please keep them coming. Also, thanks to Bex for fixing my mistakes.
Lost Souls of Nott Castle
Chapter 7 - Proposal
As it turned out, the following day brought sunshine and blue skies. Hermione was finding it difficult to find casual clothing in Annabelle's closet. She did find a blue short sleeved blouse and tan pants that she put on, along with her black boots. For the third day in a row, she looked in the mirror and was happy with what she saw.
She walked into the dining room only to find it empty. Breakfast was waiting for her under a stasis charm, but her new housemates were nowhere to be found. She sat down and ate by herself, then made her way up to the library. She expected to find them there, but it was empty as well.
Movement out the window caught her eye, though, and she stepped out on the balcony to see what it was. There she found them, flying around on broomsticks, chasing each other across the sky. She watched them for a few minutes. She even waved at Theo as he flew by. Then she went inside and started reading up on her ancient runes text.
She let herself get lost in her studies and before she knew it hours had passed. She stood and stretched her muscles before stepping out on the balcony once again. The boys were still on their brooms, having a great time by the looks of it.
She leaned against the railing and watched them for several minutes. Blaise saw her and pulled up to a stop, hovering in the air on the other side of the railing. His hair was windswept and his eyes were bright. A smile covered his face from one side to the other. He looked truly happy.
"Hey Granger. We have extra brooms if you want to join us."
"Thanks for the offer, Blaise, but no thank you." She couldn't help but smile at him. A small part of her wondered when the last time was that she had been that happy.
"You sure?" He asked one more time, but his attention was already on Theo, who was diving to the ground in a tight spiral, only to pull up at the last minute, with mere meters between himself and the ground.
"Positive," she answered. Her heart was thundering in her chest just watching their death defying stunts.
She had barely gotten the word out when he took off, copying Theo's move and trying to outdo him. She shook her head. She would never understand how anyone could enjoy flying that much.
She watched them for a little while longer. Her heart nearly stopped when she watched Malfoy fly straight up, only to tumble towards the ground for several long moments before regaining control and leveling off before he hit the ground. That did it for her, she couldn't watch any longer. She spent the rest of the day working on transfiguration spells and ignoring the men outside.
She was still going at it alone when a gray owl swooped in and dropped a letter on the table in front of her. The owl regarded her for a few seconds, then flew off. She picked up the envelope and saw her name printed neatly on one side. She recognized the handwriting immediately.
With a deep sigh, she opened the letter and pulled out the contents.
"Mione, Can we talk? Just the two of us? Please meet me at our diner tonight at 7 PM. -Harry"
She stared at it for a long moment. It was already after six. If she was going, she would have to leave soon. She was curious as to what he would have to say. She was also still angry and hurt by his actions and not at all sure that she was ready to talk to him yet.
Three sharp knocks on the bookcase by the door caught her attention and she turned to see Malfoy standing by the door.
"Granger," he said with a small smirk on his face. "You know it's Saturday. Have you been up here all day?"
She noticed that his hair was still damp from a shower and his clothes were clean. They must have stopped flying outside while she was studying and she hadn't realized it.
"Malfoy. I didn't have anything better to do. It looked like you were having fun though."
"You could have joined us." He crossed the room and sat next to her at the table.
"I don't think so," she said with a laugh. "I don't fly."
"What, you can fly on a dragon, but not on a broomstick?" He started flipping through her notes, looking to see what she had been working on all day.
"That dragon was not my idea of fun. I prefer my feet firmly on the ground, thank you very much."
"You don't even know what you are missing." He shook his head at her, not able to fathom anyone that didn't enjoy flying. "Anyway, we are heading to Diagon for dinner and drinks with some friends."
"Oh. Okay." She wasn't sure what else to say. He hadn't extended an invitation, and she didn't expect him to do so. She wasn't his friend. At best they were acquaintances, but certainly not friends. She waited a few heartbeats just in case, but he remained silent.
"Have fun, then." She gave him a small smile.
"Right," he returned her smile. "See you tomorrow."
"Yeah. Tomorrow."
He looked like he was going to say something else, but thought better of it before turning and walking away.
After he left she cleaned up her work, then went to her room to freshen up. She wasn't sure she wanted to see Harry, but she knew she didn't want to spend the whole evening alone. She might as well go see what he had to say.
Before she could change her mind, she stepped through the floo to the Leakey Cauldron, then followed the streets in muggle London to the train station. There she found the small diner that they had been in the first time snatchers had attacked them almost a year earlier. After the final battle was over, they had returned a few times. When Harry had said to meet at "our diner", she had known immediately that this was where she would find him.
She took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in.
Harry was already there, sitting by himself at a table. He saw her as soon as she walked through the door.
"Hermione? Wow. You look great."
She was almost offended by the surprise in his tone. She was still wearing the blue blouse and tan pants she had put on that morning.
"Thanks, I think." She gave him a small smile then sat at the table across from him. "What did you want to talk about?"
He fidgeted with his napkin and ran his hand through his hair.
"I wanted to see how you are doing. I miss you." He shrugged his shoulders slightly and his cheeks tinged pink ever so slightly.
The waitress stopped by and they ordered their food.
"Does Ron know you're here? Or Ginny, for that matter?" She appraised him for a minute, noticing that he looked nervous and his eyes kept glancing out the window.
"No. They don't." He looked away from her and she knew. The Weasley's were still upset with her. They could hold grudges for a long time.
"I'm good, Harry. I found someplace to stay now, so I'll be fine."
"That's great, Mione." He smiled at her. "Where?"
She thought about telling him. They were friends, right? It would probably be a good idea for someone to know where she was staying, just in case.
"Does it matter?" She answered instead. "I have a bed to sleep in and food on the table."
His smile dimmed.
"I am sorry, Hermione." He pushed his glasses up his nose and averted his eyes.
She wanted to believe him, but part of her was thinking that he still wanted something from her.
"What do you really want, Harry?"
The waitress delivered their food and they both started to eat with the question hanging between them. The silence was awkward. Halfway through her meal, she pushed the plate away.
"I screwed up," he finally admitted. "After everything we've been through together. After everything you've done for me. I should have stuck up for you. I should have gone with you. I should have tried to find you after you left."
"Should have. Could have. Would have. But you didn't, Harry."
"I know." His head dropped into his hands.
"So why now? Did your conscience finally catch up to you?"
"I told you, I miss you." He sat forward in his seat and looked her in the eye. "I need you in my life, Hermione."
"I'm still here, Harry." She smiled at him in a reassuring way. They had a row and she was living elsewhere, but they were still friends.
"You are," he agreed. His eyes took her in, raking over her in a way that made her suddenly uncomfortable. "And you are even more beautiful than ever."
Her mouth went dry. She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. After a long minute, he cleared his throat.
"We have been a team since first year," he said. "I wouldn't have made it without you. I know that. I needed you then, and I need you now."
Between his words and the way he was looking at her, there was little doubt in her mind what exactly he was saying.
"Harry," she cleared her throat and took a long drink of her soda. "You know I've always thought of you as a friend. As a brother. Nothing more."
He gave her a small smile.
"I know. For me it was the same, until...well, until you were gone. Now I can't help but think that we screwed up. The two of us took on the darkest wizard of our time and survived. If we can do that together, we can do anything together."
His hand gripped hers across the table and his green eyes bore into hers.
"You know that I'm right, Hermione." He squeezed her hand and tried to pull her closer.
"What about Ginny?" Her mind was racing. She never thought of Harry in any other light, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.
"We broke up. I told her that she was wrong to destroy your things and she didn't take kindly to it." He ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply.
Her heart was racing, but not in a good way. She felt trapped. Anxiety was starting to claw its way into her brain.
"Are you still staying at the Burrow?" She asked to stall the inevitable just a little longer.
"I actually moved out today. I'm at Grimmauld Place now. It's a bit of a disaster, but it'll do." He paused then looked her in the eye again. "There is plenty of room if you want to stay with me."
She sat there, frozen, unable to make sense of what he was saying. A part of her wanted to hug him and accept the offer. Another part of her felt extremely uncomfortable with it.
His hand was still wrapped around hers.
"Harry. Thank you for standing up to Ginny. And I'm glad you moved into your own place, I am." She paused long enough to take a deep breath as she pulled her hand gently away from his. "But I don't think it would be right for me to move in with you right now."
It took every ounce of courage that she had to utter those words. The crestfallen look on his face nearly broke her heart. She didn't want to hurt him. That would never be her intention. But she couldn't give him something that didn't feel right, either.
Almost instantly his eyes hardened into a glare and his hand tightened into a fist.
"Who are you staying with, Hermione?" His voice was low, almost angry, and it took her aback. His entire demeanor had changed.
"It doesn't matter who I'm staying with," she told him. "It's just room and board, nothing else."
"Right. Those are really nice clothes. How did you pay for them?" His eyes narrowed as they swept across her body once again. Even though she was dressed modestly, she still felt exposed under his gaze.
"They came with the room actually. The previous occupant left them. I was told to help myself." She had to admit, she was not comfortable with the arrangement, but beggars can't be choosers and at the moment she was certainly a beggar. She didn't have a knut to her name.
He glared at her for a moment longer. He was not sure what to say to that. In the end, he decided to change the subject back to his original intent.
"Can you forgive me?" He asked. The sincerity in his eyes made her smile. In that moment she felt like she was talking to her best friend again.
"Of course I can. But that hurt isn't going to go away overnight. I spent a full week living on the streets. You left the Burrow and moved into a house of your own. I didn't have anywhere to go. I still don't have money or resources. I'm relying on the generosity of practical strangers and I hate it."
"So move in with me. We aren't strangers. We're family."
She could have said yes. She knew it would be easy to move in with him. It would be familiar. It would be comfortable.
So why did her heart clench at the thought of leaving Nott Castle?
"We are family, Harry." She took a deep breath as she formed the words that she needed in her mind. "But I don't think living together is what we need right now."
He sank into his chair in a defeated manner.
"Okay. I get it." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again.
"It's getting late. I'm going to head home. Thank you for dinner." She stood.
"Can I at least see you again?" His hand circled her wrist as she turned to leave, gently turning her back towards him.
"Of course, Harry." She gave him a small smile, but she didn't feel any joy. Instead, dread filled her heart. She had a horrible feeling that he was asking for something that she was not willing to give. "We're friends, after all."
"I don't mean as friends," he told her, confirming her suspicions.
"That's all I can offer you, Harry." She squeezed his hand before removing it from her wrist. Then she walked away.
As soon as she could apparate safely, she turned on the spot and reappeared in Diagon Alley. From there, she found an open floo and used the network to return safely to Nott Castle.
She didn't expect anyone to be there. She moved through the castle in a bit of a daze, her mind still trying to wrap around the conversation she had with Harry. She was almost to her door when she felt a tingling sensation in the back of her head, it felt like someone was watching her. She paused, but didn't turn around.
A moment later she entered her room and curled up on the couch, leaving the door to her room open.