Three weeks passed by in the blink of an eye.

Regina wasn't quite sure how it happened, but she did know that she was very happy. She invited Emma over for dinner again. Served her roast and potatoes. And her special gravy with the secret ingredient she refused to reveal no matter how much Emma had tried sweettalking her. When it came to that ingredient, Regina refused to reveal her secret.

Emma had gotten the chance to interact with Henry again, and much to Regina's delight, she had taken that chance. She had happily chitchatted with Henry about fairytales, favorite food and whether cars would be able to fly in the future. So basically everything. He had completely accepted Emma as his mother's girlfriend, and Regina was both happy and relieved. Of course she had been skittish about bringing home a girlfriend. And not because Emma was a woman. Henry was comfortable with his mother being bisexual. But because she had told him over and over again that it would just be the two of them from now on.

But Henry really liked Emma. He had talked and laughed so much during the dinner, and it had almost been impossible to get him to bed that night. But eventually, she had managed. After having promised him that he too could come for tacos at Emma's place very, very soon.

Emma had stayed a bit longer. As soon as Henry had gone to bed, they had settled in the couch. Where they had ended up kissing each other. Soft little pecks at first. But it hadn't taken long before those little pecks had evolved into something much heavier, and they had ended up doing something Regina only could define as 'making out' for several minutes. Emma had been very breathless when they at last had stopped kissing, and Regina had been, well…... trembling. Gasping for air. And Emma, sweet Emma, had asked her if she felt alright. If she in anyway was uncomfortable or needed a glass of water. When Regina had tried apologizing for being frustrating, Emma wouldn't hear of it. She had taken Regina's hand, kissed each knuckle gently and then smiled as she said that there was nothing frustrating about re-discovering kissing. Once again, she had assured Regina that they weren't in a hurry.

Her gentle reassurance had worked.

Sometimes things were still hard, though. A week ago, Regina had been in a pretty dark place. She'd had a therapy session with Doctor Kristine, and naturally, that had made her feel upset and old traumas had resurfaced. She had ended up texting Emma and asking her if she truly was worthy of this. If Emma truly wanted to be with her. Emma had assured her that she did, and when Regina had asked her why, Emma had come up with so many reasons why. One of the reasons had been that Regina was the most wonderful person she had ever met. That had prompted Regina to admit that she felt a little broken. And once again, Emma had been there to help her. To see her through it. They had texted until two in the morning. And somewhere along the steady flow of text messages, Regina had found herself smiling more and more. Then rumbling with laughter. Regina had tried to apologize for dumping all of that on Emma, but once again, Emma had brushed her apology aside. Instead she had sweetly told Regina that she was only happy to help her girlfriend out.

Girlfriend. After they officially had said goodnight, Regina had laid awake for a little while and mulled over that label. 'Girlfriend'. In the past, Regina had always felt like it was a tacky label. Something a teenager would use. But with Emma it felt just right. Because Emma made her feel exactly like a teenager. A very silly teenager, that was. Henry kept telling her that she was wearing a 'goofy' grin. And when Regina the morning after her roast-and-potatoes-date with Emma had come downstairs, Zelena had given her a look. Because it turned out that Regina's bottom lip had become quite swollen. Regina had examined the 'damage' in the bathroom mirror and had been taken back to the last time her bottom lip had been swollen. That had been because Killian had punched her in the face. But as Regina had looked at her swollen lip in the bathroom mirror, she had not felt any old traumas pushing against her skull. Instead she had been…. Amused. Having a swollen lip the day after kissing intensely had also struck her as such a teenage thing, and she had had a good rumble about it in the bathroom. Then she had dabbed her bottom lip with a cold cloth, and once the swelling had gone down, she had put on some lipstick to hide the remainder of the swelling.

She had not told Emma about the swollen lip. She had reason to believe that Emma would become worried and apologize for hurting her, and Regina didn't want that. She was not hurt, not even in the slightest. She had found the reason for her swollen lip to be quite…... sexy. Arousing.

A part of her was slowly starting to wake up, Regina could feel it with each kiss she bestowed upon Emma's lips. Could feel how her stomach curled in a way it hadn't done for a very, very long time. How a flush had crept up her neck to spread on her cheeks. How a certain thrill had run up and down her spine. A certain spot on her lower back had started tingling in that way it always did when she was aroused.

Regina couldn't remember the last time she had felt that spot tingle. It had been ages. The feeling had been so foreign, it had almost been jarring at first. And the fact that Emma had been able to see it on her face, in her eyes, had definitely been embarrassing. But as always, Emma had been a gentle….woman. There had been no teasing and no expectation for more than kissing.

Regina was the one who recently had started entertaining the thought of 'more'. What it would be like, being with Emma. How she wished that she was ready for 'more'. If only that invisible barrier within her didn't exist….

Regina awoke with a sharp gasp. She could feel her pulse all the way in her neck where it was hammering away. Sweat had drenched her back and was making her pajama shirt cling to her. Her heart was thudding away in her chest. Her stomach was doing somersaults, and there was definitely something…. Going on a bit further down. Regina was not surprised, really. Not with the dream she'd just had. A dream about Emma. They had been laying in a bed. Regina wasn't sure which bed, but she was a hundred percent certain that both of them had been naked. She was also sure that Emma had been on top of her. Kissing her chest. Her breast. Her-

Okay, it was time to snap out of it. High time. Regina shook her head as though trying to shake the dream from her mind. But it wasn't that easy. The dream stuck to her mind like glue. She supposed this was a milestone of sorts. She hadn't had an erotic dream in…. years.

Yes, years. Her time had effectively extinguished whatever lust she might have had, but now that lust was slowly starting to wake up again.

Regina felt baffled as she pulled at the collar of her pajama shirt to get some air to her overheated skin. She couldn't believe it. The dream had been so real. Laced with kisses and sweet words. And no fear. Regina couldn't think of a point in the dream where she had felt scared or hesitant.

If only reality was that easy.

Perhaps it could be.

Perhaps the dream was a promise of sorts.

Her phone vibrated against the bedside table and Regina startled and ended up clutching the covers between her fingers. Then she pulled herself together and rolled her eyes. It was the phone making a noise. Not the fire alarm.

She snatched the phone from the bedside table, and since her eyes were not completely awake, she also found her glasses and perched them on the bridge of her nose. Then she opened the text message. From Emma, of course.

'Good morning, gorgeous ;)'

A soft smile spread on Regina's lips. Emma seemed to have made it a mission to give her a new pet name every day. Ever since they had started kissing more, Emma had begun bestowing all sorts of cute nicknames on her. Emma had called her something particular in her dream too. Regina couldn't remember exactly what right now, but the memory of all the things Emma had whispered in her ear in the dream had her blushing. And it also made her morning-greeting a bit reserved.

'Good morning, Emma.'

'Did you have a good night's sleep?'

Oh yes. Absolutely. But Regina didn't tell her that. Obviously. 'I did, thank you. And what about yourself?'

'I slept fine. But I did end up binging the rest of Gentleman Jack, so I fell asleep pretty late. What about you? Did you fall asleep early?'

Yes, asleep early and then dreaming all through the night. It had not just been a quick snippet of something. It had been a full blown erotic dream. And now Regina was embarrassed about it. Embarrassed to text Emma when dream-Emma was still rummaging in her mind.

'Yes.'

'Everything okay?'

Oh god, she shouldn't just have texted 'yes'. Now Emma was on to her.

'Yes, of course.'

'Then why is that I feel my "spider sense" tingling?'

Regina pushed the glasses up her nose. She knew exactly why. Because she was doing a terrible job at pretending that everything was fine and dandy. If only she could chase the naked-dream-Emma out of her mind, damnit!

'I've no idea. I'm fine, Emma. Everything is fine.'

She regretted it the moment she had sent the text. Calling Emma by name and two 'I'm fine's'? She was basically doing the worst job ever at reassuring Emma that she was fine.

'You sure? Did you have a dream last night?'

Emma knew her too well. Perhaps it was better to just confess and get it over with. Well. At least she could admit having had a dream. She didn't have to tell Emma what kind of dream, right?

'Yes, I did.'

'Are you okay? Is it something you want to talk about?'

Oh no, no, no. Anything but that! Regina would probably die from embarrassment if she was to talk about it with Emma.

'Regina, you can tell me about your nightmares. I am always here to listen. You know that.'

Regina winced. Emma was worried now. That wasn't the intention. Definitely not. She had to reassurance her girlfriend somehow. But could she do that without revealing too much?

'I didn't have a nightmare.'

'Then what's wrong? I don't understand.'

'I had a good dream.'

Regina silently cursed herself. She was dancing around this when she should just be honest and make Emma stop worrying.

'Okay. What was it about?'

'You.'

A short answer, but not a lie.

'Alright. What was I doing in your dream? Rambling about marvel movies and why you ought to love them?'

No, Marvel movies had been just about the last thing Emma had talked about in the dream. She had been a bit busier worshipping Regina. God. Regina shook her head.

'Not... exactly.'

'Okay. Look, I can sense that you're being a bit short with me, and now I'm gonna sound like a total nuisance, but are you quite sure everything is okay? My spider sense is running amok.'

Regina took a deep breath. It was time to cut the charade. She was making Emma worried and that wasn't fair. She took a moment to breathe and gather her senses. Then she texted Emma again.

'I'm sorry that I'm being short with you. It's not my intention. I suppose I'm just a bit embarrassed. And surprised.'

It took a moment before Emma answered, but when she did, Regina could feel the confusion radiate from the message. 'Surprised about what?'

'The dream I had.'

'Why? What was it about?'

'I'm not sure whether I should tell you about it or not. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.'

'Nothing you tell me will make me uncomfortable. You can tell me anything.'

Yes, that rule still remained between them. But still…. Regina groaned quietly. Felt another flush creep up her neck and spread across her face. She didn't want to worry Emma. And they DID have a 'no secrets' rule between them. So why not simply be honest? Emma was her girlfriend after all.

'Fine. I had an erotic dream. About you. And now I'm really embarrassed!'

There. Now it's out. And she might just die of embarrassment. Or heatstroke. Regina pulled at the collar of her pajama shirt again in order to get some air. Perhaps she was going through menopause early. Why wasn't Emma answering? Had Regina just scared her of? Had she been too open in her confession? What if Emma thought that she was pathetic?

No. No, of course Emma would never think that. Anybody else perhaps. But not Emma.

The phone vibrated again. Regina's hands were damp as she checked the new message.

'I don't think that's embarrassing at all. I think it's pretty great ;)'

A winking emoji. Regina groaned again. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. 'Stop. Now you're making me really embarrassed!'

'No! No, no, no! Seriously, you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, Regina. It's fine. It's more than fine, actually.'

The sincerity in Emma's text was obvious, but Regina still wrinkled her nose. 'I feel like a stupid teenager.'

'There's nothing stupid about it. It's a completely natural thing :)'

That was true. But to Regina, it almost felt unnatural. Because it had been so long since she last had dreamed so vividly as she did last night. 'I know that. It's just so... unfamiliar for me to feel like this.' Regina chewed at the bottom lip Emma's kisses had made swell up not too long ago. Since she was telling truths, why not put all cards on the table?

'And with the risk of embarrassing myself further... This is the first time I've had dreams of that nature ever since... Well, everything.' She could admit that much to Emma. After all, she was the one responsible for making Regina dream. And what a dream that had been….

'Which is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not, so neither should you be. I'm just happy that I can make you feel that way again.'

God, Emma was always so understanding. No matter what, she never made Regina feel like a fool. If only everybody could be as mature as Emma Swan.

'You've definitely awakened something in me. I never thought I would feel this way again.'

'Does it scare you?'

Yes. It did. There were moments where Regina feared that the other shoe would drop. That good things were coming far too easily her way, and that life would find a way to kick her in the teeth again. 'Maybe it does a little bit. I'm not quite sure why, and I suppose it's a bit ridiculous, isn't it?' it was. As her therapist always said, she had to allow herself to be happy and believe that happiness didn't come with a price.

'No, it's not. It's not ridiculous at all. Of course it's daunting for you to experience and feel things you thought you were never going to experience again. I understand that completely.'

Of course Emma understood. She always did no matter what. Regina had never felt so understood and seen by anyone as she did with Emma. Right from the start, they had connected in a way that Regina had never connected with anybody.

She swallowed something. Cleared her throat. It was time to change the subject. Before she ended up getting weepy. She didn't want to start her day being weepy.

A question popped into her head, and before she could get the chance to think it through properly, she had sent the question to Emma: 'Have you dreamed about me?' as soon as she had sent it off, she realized just how tacky that question was, but it was too late to undo it.

Her phone vibrated again. Regina checked the message.

'Yes I have.'

Interesting. 'Oh.'

'Does that make you uncomfortable?'

Ha. Definitely not. 'No, it doesn't. Quite the reverse, actually.'

'Good :)'

What did I do in your drea- Regina deleted the text again. She was not going to ask Emma that. It was too tacky. Emma hadn't asked her what her dream was about either. Which she deserved a massive amount of kudos for.

And it wouldn't be fair seeing that she still wasn't ready for intimacy. Dreaming about it was one thing, but actually doing it in real life? No. It was still too early. Every time Regina thought of Emma's hands on her naked body, she was transported back to the last time someone had touched her naked body. She had been transported back to the sound of her clothes being torn and her back being against her carpet on the bedroom floor. She was terrified that she would get a flashback while she and Emma were…. And that would undoubtedly ruin everything. Perhaps it would even scare Emma into not wanting to kiss her again because she was scared. Or worse still, maybe it would be the last straw that finally made Emma see Regina for what she was. A damaged woman. She could tell herself a thousand times in a row that Emma didn't think of her as being that, but sometimes her insecurity got the best of her.

But luckily, the thoughts didn't last as long as they once had.

Regina gaze wandered to the date on her phone, and she groaned quietly upon realizing that today was in fact a 'Doctor Kristine day'. Oh, gosh. Well. Today's appointment was gonna be a doozy, that was for sure.

'I'm seeing my therapist today. I think I have to tell her about this. We sort of have a rule about discussing my "progress" in regard to my relationship with you, and just in general. And I think this counts as progress.'

'It does. Definitely.'

'Which means that I'll be embarrassed at his office, too. Aren't I lucky...'

'Nothing to be embarrassed about, lovely. All part of being in an awesome relationship.'

Regina's eyebrow rose. Lovely? That was a new one. Emma hadn't called her that before.

'Lovely?'

'Yep. Because lovely is exactly what you are ;)'

Smooth. And at the same time, not really. Emma was not a sly bastard who spilled clichés in order to sweettalk Regina into doing something. She was as sweet as could be. And she always said exactly what she meant. Or texted. Regina smiled. She had never been nicknamed 'lovely' by anyone before. But she liked it. She liked being 'lovely'.

'You're flirting with me again, miss Swan.'

'Yes, I am. Definitely.'

Regina would have loved to continue this conversation, but she had other things to attend to. A certain little boy who needed to get ready for school, so….

'Anyway, I should let you get back to it. You are probably in the middle of breakfast, and I should try to get Henry out of bed before he misses the bus.'

'Sounds like a plan, but you'll text me during my lunch break, right?'

'Like I always do.' Regina smiled.

'Awesome!'

That word again. Regina was amused as she stood from the bed. She purposefully left her phone sitting on the nightstand. If she didn't, she would end up texting Emma all through breakfast, and that was not something that could happen today. She was a bit on a schedule. She had to wake Henry, make him breakfast, kiss him goodbye and then prepare to go to her morning therapy session with Doctor Kristine.

She slung a robe over her pajamas and checked her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was a bit mussed. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling a little too brightly. She had to do something about that. She couldn't come downstairs for breakfast looking like this. Zelena would most likely believe that she was coming down with some kind of a disease.

With a sigh, Regina left her bedroom, patted down the hallway and into the bathroom where she took a quick, cold shower. It seemed brutal, but she needed it. She needed to calm down. The dream was still sticking to her. Details kept popping up in her mind. In the middle of showering, she suddenly remembered Emma touching her here, and kissing her there. It was very distracting.

She concluded her shower with a silent huff and started drying off. She was almost overly aware of her body today. Aware of how surprisingly good it felt when the towel brushed against certain areas of her body.

Regina's shoulders tightened and she tried her best to push the feeling aside. It felt overwhelming, feeling her body react after having decided that she would never feel like that at all. It felt overwhelming that her body was still capable of reacting when she had been through what she had been through. In a way, it was too much, and Regina shivered as she got dressed. All instinct bade her to back away from the feeling. Her body was still foreign land to her. It still didn't feel like her own. She had talked to her therapist about it many, many times and she try to be patient and meditate to connect with her body like Doctor Kristine had suggested, but honestly, Regina wasn't sure it worked.

After having woken up Henry (and made sure that he actually was awake!) Regina went downstairs where she greeted Zelena in the kitchen.

"'Morning," her older sister said and suffocated a yawn.

'Good morning,' Regina signed and flashed Zelena a smile.

"Have you slept well?" Zelena asked lightly and took a bite of her toast.

Regina's smile became a tad more forced. Why did Zelena have to ask her that today of all days? It had to be destiny playing some kind of lame joke on her. She nodded vaguely and tried not to look like she was thinking of anything except her upcoming breakfast.

"Oh, good," Zelena said. "You do look well rested."

Regina frowned. Well rested? How could she possibly look well rested when her bed looked like she had spent the night tossing and turning?

Perhaps she had spent the night tossing and turning. She certainly had in her dream. Rolling around with Emma on top of her….

Stop it!

Regina quickly turned around when she felt her cheeks burn again. Just in the nick of time. Henry came trotting into the kitchen, sounding more like a horde of elephants rather than one little boy. "Morning, mom. Morning, aunt Z," he said and as opposed to his aunt, he didn't quite manage to suffocate a yawn. Zelena laughed and told him he looked like a hippo.

Regina wasn't sure how she had connected a yawn with a hippo, but oh well. She had more important things to think about. Henry's breakfast, for instance. Today's unchangeable menu was oatmeal, and Regina quickly poured some into a bowl. Oatmeal with slices of banana on top. A good, hearty meal. Exactly as it should be. Regina started to slice the bananas. Paused briefly to push a lock of hair behind her ear.

Emma had done that in the dream. Many times. In fact her fingers had been buried in Regina's hair most of the time while they kissed…

Regina shook her head and resumed her banana-slicing-mission. But she couldn't stop thinking of Emma's fingers in her hair. Emma's mouth on her chest. The way she had known exactly how to-

A quiet hiss escaped her as pain suddenly flared up in her index finger. When she looked down, she saw the blood trickling from a rather large gash on her finger, and she knew exactly what had happened. She had accidentally nicked herself with the knife. Because she had been too damn busy thinking about Emma. Shit. She had almost sliced her hand halfway open because she was so distracted. Good god, she was a mess this morning!

Regina switched on the water and brought her finger under the cold stream while internally cursing at herself. She really had to stop being so silly and distracted.

"Did you just cut yourself?"

Yes, she absolutely did. How wonderfully observant of her sister to notice. She made a halfhearted motion to indicate that she was fine. The knife just slipped. And so did her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Zelena asked. "It's not deep or anything, is it?"

Once again, Regina had to settle for vaguely gesturing. She was fine. Just a bit embarrassed. She wasn't normally this clumsy. But then again, she wasn't normally distracted by a dream.

As she stood by the sink and tried to make the bleeding stop by rinsing her finger, she was vaguely aware that Henry had just left the table. Regina felt a twinge of annoyance. That phone of his. He was going to see Nick in a moment. Surely, what he had to tell him could wait, right?

But Henry didn't have his phone in hand when he came back to the kitchen. Instead she was carrying the small box containing their 'stash' of band aids.

"Here you go, mom," he said with a slight smile as he handed her one of the band aids. "Does it hurt?"

Regina shook her head and took the band aid from him. Returned the smile and ruffled his hair in a silent thank you. That was very thoughtful of him. She was quick to place one of the band-aids over the wound and then smoothen it with the pad of her finger to make sure it sat tightly.

"Is that better?" Henry asked sweetly.

Regina nodded and flashed him a thumbs up. She dried her hands and then went over to the table and settled down next to Zelena.

"Coffee?" her sister offered, waving the freshly made pot of coffee in the air.

Regina nodded gratefully. She was going to need plenty of coffee to get through her upcoming therapy session. She poured herself a large cup and took a sip, not caring whether it was too hot or not. She engaged in small talk with Henry and tried her best not to think of anything else than talking to her son. But god, she had a hard time shaking that dream! It didn't make matters much better when she started remembering certain…. Details.

She silently scolded herself as she walked Henry to the bus and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now she really had to pull herself together and shake that dream once and for all! She waved him off and then went back inside to finish her morning coffee. Zelena gave her curious glances every so often, but Regina pretended not to see and chose to believe that Zelena would chalk it up to therapy-session-jitters. She had seen those before….

"There is absolutely no shame in this, Regina," Doctor Kristine said a good while later when Regina was seated in her office and burning with embarrassment because of the subject.

"Dreaming is natural," Doctor Kristine gently continued. "And what's more, it's healthy."

Regina was well aware of that, but it was still incredibly awkward to sit here and talk about sex. She was an incredibly private person. She always had been. Ever since she was a lanky thirteen year old who had just gotten her first period and had been 'summoned' to Cora's office to talk about 'the birds and the bees'. Being the straightforward no-nonsense woman that she was, Cora had consequently thrown phrases such as 'vagina' and 'penis' around and Regina had been absolutely mortified. And when she had dared doing what every awkward teen did when confronted with mature subjects, which was giggling nervously, Cora had given her a stern look and told her that "sex is not a laughing matter, Regina. It is a serious topic and while I expect you to keep your head on straight for at least five more years, it is still important that you understand what I'm telling you now, so kindly don't giggle. You are on the cusp of becoming a young woman, and you have to be prepared for that."

Regina had squirmed, but she had managed to sit through Cora's long monologue about sex (and mostly why waiting was the most sensible thing), but she hadn't understood that much of Cora's technical terms.

Regina had not waited 'at least five more years'. She had waited four. Much to her mother's dismay. But hey, at least she hadn't had to go through the trouble with condoms and birth control and accidentally getting pregnant. You would think that would have pleased Cora, but she hadn't been particularly enthusiastic when she discovered that Regina was dating Malena.

In her more macabre moments, Regina had darkly thought to herself that Cora would have thrown a fit if she had been around to find out that Regina actually had gotten pregnant by accident. At the tender age of twenty four.

So much for all that talk about practicing safe sex. Cora had conveniently enough forgotten to tell Regina what happened if you mixed alcohol with a tall, dark stranger and an available hotel room. She had probably taken it for granted that Regina would ever do something that stupid.

Well, she had. And her stupidity had led to the best thing ever happening to her. Henry. Sometimes life gave you something amazing in the most unlikely of ways. No matter how unimpressed Regina had been about Daniel Colter, he had still given her Henry. He had still participated in creating her wonderful, kindhearted, smart son.

So sometimes, doing something stupid wasn't necessarily a bad idea. Sometimes a brief moment of stupidity brought with it something so wonderful you couldn't imagine how you had lived without it before.

"Your subconscience is waking up and reacting," Doctor Kristine continued, pulling Regina out of her musings. "And what that tells me, is that you are slowly lowering the wall you've building around you."

Regina nodded. That was true. 'I do trust Emma so much already', she signed. 'But I wish that I was capable of pushing past that wall that blocks me when I want to-' she paused. Considered. Willed herself not to blush as she continued: 'When I want to do more than kiss her.'

"I understand that," Doctor Kristine nodded. "But I believe that the wall is there because deep down your subconscience know that you are not ready to go beyond kissing her."

Regina gritted her teeth. To hell with her subconscience. What about her frustration? She loved kissing Emma. Kissing Emma was wonderful. It brought her tingles and left her breathless, but what if she wanted more? What if she wanted to be ready for more? Wasn't it possible to ignore that stupid barrier? If she could just convince herself that she was fine, that Emma wasn't Killian (obviously) maybe, just maybe, she would be capable of ignoring that ridiculous barrier.

"I can see that you are getting frustrated, Regina," Doctor Kristine said kindly. "And I completely understand that, but you have to give yourself credit for how far you've come already. Just four months ago you couldn't imagine kissing anyone, could you?"

Regina shook her head. She most certainly couldn't.

"And look at you now. You are with a supporting, understanding partner. You are comfortable with kissing her, and you are starting to open up to the idea of physical intimacy. That is amazing progress."

'But I want more,' Regina signed, for once not caring about the praise.

"Your subconscience doesn't," her therapist said simply. "And it is so important that you listen to your subconscience, Regina. No matter what, you cannot ignore it. It is there for a reason. To protect you. To ensure that you don't find yourself in a situation you are not ready to be in.

'But when will I be ready?' Regina signed. Frustration was nearly getting the best of her.

"This is a work in progress," Doctor Kristine said patiently. "You have already come so far, which is fantastic. But you have to be patient with yourself. Continue to go on dates with Emma. Spend time with her. Grow closer with her. The stronger your relationship with her gets, the less afraid you'll be of physical intimacy."

Regina chewed on that for a while. She supposed that made sense. There was a part of her that was afraid of physical intimacy. A part of her that still recoiled at the idea of someone touching her. Dreaming of touches and intimacy was safe. But doing it in real life? Regina was so torn. Literally. She wanted physical intimacy with Emma, but at the same time…. She didn't. And of course there was also the small part of her that felt like she had to.

"What are you thinking about right now?" her therapist gently prompted.

'I don't want to be a tease', Regina signed. 'A part of me fears that I'm leading Emma on'.

"I will not tell you to drop those thoughts or tell you that you are being silly, because that would be the same as invalidating your fears," Doctor Kristine said and pushed Regina's cup of tea closer to her. "I know how big a part of your PTSD this is."

Regina nodded and swallowed something. It was a huge part of her PTSD. She took a sip of her tea.

"But you have to remember that Emma is not expecting anything from you, Regina. She understands you. And she understands that your relationship needs to progress slowly. Have you had a good talk through with Emma about this?"

She had. And Emma had been absolutely wonderful and understanding, of course. But Regina still felt anxious. Felt like she somehow owed Emma something.

But she didn't. Deep down, she did know that. She knew that this mindset was something Killian had gaslighted her into having. He had instilled it in her. That she always owed him something after he had taken her to a restaurant or bought her flowers. His kindness always came with a price.

Emma's didn't. She had to remember that. Emma's kindness was free. She didn't have to feel like she had a debt to pay when Emma showed her kindness. She took another sip of her tea. Her therapist was right, this truly was a work in progress. She was a work in progress. And she had to stop being so hard on herself. She had already come this far. She was capable of kissing her girlfriend for minutes (god, what glorious minutes!) without experiencing flashbacks or panic attacks. She was able to put on a nice dress and have a good time with her girlfriend. And that was amazing progress when thinking of the woman she had been not too long ago. Pale. Skinny. Constantly exhausted and sleeping for hours. Hiding away in baggy clothes. Scared of anything and everything.

She just had to give herself time. No matter how annoying it was. No matter how frustrating it was. She had to be patient. And hope for the best. Who knew, perhaps the barrier would magically be entirely gone the next time she saw Emma. She was allowed to be a little optimistic, right? That was what her therapist always said. To be optimistic.

"Remember, physical intimacy is not the most essential part in a relationship," Doctor Kristine reminded her. "There are so many other ways you can show Emma affection."

'I suppose that is true,' Regina signed.

Her therapist smiled encouragingly. "You are on your way, Regina, and I am positive that you'll get there. In time. When you're ready. When every part of you is ready."

Regina supposed she had to settle with that. For now.

Once sitting in her car and enjoying her usual 'post-therapy-session-caramel-latté', Regina found time to text Emma. 'How is the lunch break?' she texted. Not very original, but it was the best she could come up with right now.

It didn't take long before she got a text back from Emma. 'Lunch break is good. How is the caramel latté?'

Regina smiled into said latté. Emma knew her too well. 'The latté is good.'

'Good! I wish I had one right now!'

Regina immediately wished she was a barista who knew exactly how to make a caramel latté. 'Eugenia makes good caramel lattés. Perhaps we could each have one the next time we meet at the inn.'

'Good idea :D'

That had Regina smiling again. She had talked so much about Emma with her therapist, and now she missed her. Missed her so much she sent off a spontaneous text: 'and speaking of meeting, would you like to come over for dinner this Friday?'

Again, the response came immediately. 'Yes! I would love that. But isn't it my turn to invite?'

To hell with that. 'Perhaps. But why don't we break that tradition? I'm by myself on Friday night. I could make oven baked chicken and apple turnovers for dessert.'

'Oh man, that sounds soooo good! It's my turn to invite you over for dinner, but you had me at 'oven baked chicken'. I'm in!'

Regina snorted slightly. 'Excellent! I'm looking forward to seeing you.'

'Looking forward to seeing you too. So, so much! God, now I'll be counting down the days until Friday comes!'

Emma's enthusiasm was endearing. Regina couldn't resist teasing a little bit: 'Let me guess… It's because of the baked chicken, right?'

'Nah! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love baked chicken, but even if you had invited me over for Brussel sprouts, I would have said yes!'

'Rest assure that I'll never be inviting you over for that. Brussel sprouts is not my favorite vegetable.'

':O'

Oh gosh. Regina tried not to snort into her coffee. 'Every other vegetable perhaps, but not Brussel sprouts.'

'Fair enough! Oh, by the way, was therapy alright today?'

Regina suspected that Emma had been wanting to ask her this for a while. 'It was okay. Very… personal.'

'You feel okay?'

'Yes. I'm doing well.'

'Good! That's the only thing that matters!'

Regina smiled. Not a single question about what they had talked about. Emma was always so gallant. She couldn't wait to see her this Friday, and she was glad she had made the spontaneous offer. She should do that more often…

To Be Continued…..